1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:03,080 - Attention. I've been asked to read this statement. 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:06,107 "Two months ago, Gina Linetti was hit by a bus, 3 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:09,477 "and the brightest star in the cosmos was extinguished. 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,380 "But today, like a phoenix from the ashes, 5 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,516 she rises to vanquish"... 6 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,118 This is ten pages. 7 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,119 I can't read it. 8 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,263 Gina's doctor said it was okay 9 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,530 for her to come back to work today. 10 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,423 Here she is. 11 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,159 - Thank you. 12 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,095 As much pain as I've been in, 13 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,197 I can't imagine what it's been like for you... 14 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:32,533 Living in a Gina-less world for two months. 15 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,835 I'll field some questions now. Anyone? 16 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,505 - Uh, how long do you have to wear the... the... 17 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,074 Metal... the head holder... 18 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,175 - It's called a halo. 19 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,577 The doctor said I have to wear it for another week. 20 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,854 It's drilled into my skull here. 21 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:49,283 And, yes, I can still hear the screws squeaking into the bone. 22 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,560 - So what was it like getting hit by a bus? 23 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,520 - It was awesome. - Ah, I knew it. 24 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,388 I always wanted to get hit by a bus. 25 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:57,391 - Yeah, I mean, I was legally dead for two full minutes. 26 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,193 - And I met God. - Tight. 27 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:01,395 - What does she look like? - Ethnically ambiguous. 28 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,530 - You took two weeks off 29 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,365 when Kourtney and Scott Disick broke up. 30 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,243 Are you sure you're ready to be back at work now? 31 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,377 - What are you saying, Terry? 32 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,370 You think I can't handle being back yet? 33 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,272 Watch this. 34 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,254 - Gina Linetti is back, baby! 35 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,609 - Sorry I'm late. I was on a call with One Police Plaza. 36 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,912 Apparently crime in Brooklyn is down significantly. 37 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,581 Which means 38 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,549 they'll be permanently closing one precinct. 39 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,518 - What? - We celebrated too soon. 40 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,520 - An auditor will arrive shortly. 41 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,622 He'll evaluate us on crime stats, 42 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,924 physical plant, fiscal responsibility. 43 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,260 There are 22 other precincts in Brooklyn, 44 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,229 so we just don't want to rate at the bottom. 45 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,506 - Are they gonna be looking in our desks? 46 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,631 Also, unrelated... 47 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,400 Someone left a bunch of swords in my desk. 48 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,311 - I have a similar question about browser histories. 49 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,237 - Just throw your computer away. - Roger that. 50 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,415 - The auditor will start by joining Peralta and Santiago 51 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,907 on their gang stakeout because... 52 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,742 - They're America's dream couple. 53 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,653 - You need to calm down. - We're in a workplace. 54 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,546 Because their case is a good example 55 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,648 of the type of serious crime that still exists 56 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:28,916 in our neighborhood. 57 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,518 So... Oh. 58 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,453 Looks like the auditor is here. 59 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,454 - Isn't that Teddy... 60 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,655 - Amy's ex-boyfriend? - Yep. 61 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:35,656 - Jake, didn't you break them up? 62 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:36,924 - Yep. 63 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:37,725 - Amy, didn't you tell him to his face 64 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,193 he was the most boring man alive? 65 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,504 - Yep. - This is gonna be awkward. 66 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,595 - Yep. - We had a good run. 67 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,930 - Let's not panic just yet. 68 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,408 Maybe he doesn't remember us ruining his life 69 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,542 and stomping all over his heart. 70 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,734 Hey, everyone. 71 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,336 I'm Sergeant Wells. 72 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,770 Jake, Amy, nice to see you. 73 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,272 - Teddy, nice to see you, too. 74 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,716 Excited to have you in the field with us. 75 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:55,643 - Good. I just hope I don't bore you to death. 76 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,411 - Ah, what? 77 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,547 Yeah. What's that? The crime phone is ringing? 78 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,690 We have to answer it. Come on, Amy. 79 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,250 - BRB. - Okay. 80 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,527 - Why'd you have to say he was boring? 81 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,485 - Because he is boring. 82 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,787 His favorite app on his phone is "contacts." 83 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,897 - He's gonna shut this place down, 84 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,666 and we're gonna get shipped off to separate precincts. 85 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,435 I don't think our relationship can survive that. 86 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,769 - I mean, even if we don't work together, 87 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,927 we can still be a couple. 88 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,297 - If I don't see you every day, I will forget who you are. 89 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,765 I'm like a goldfish. 90 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,567 - Standing in the briefing room... 91 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,436 A space that is approximately 50 feet by 40 feet. 92 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,406 Actually, you know what? 55 feet by 40 feet. 93 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,676 No, 52 feet by 41 feet. 94 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,820 I'll just look at the blueprints at the City Planner's office. 95 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,580 Hello, weekend plans. 96 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,782 - Sergeant Wells, have you been to other precincts yet? 97 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,317 How'd they do? 98 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,727 - Well, you know, everyone's got their issues. 99 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:38,819 - That's too bad. 100 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,255 I want all my brothers in the NYPD to do perfectly. 101 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,832 The Seven-Four is corrupt. You didn't hear it from me. 102 00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,001 - You know what? We're just looking to eliminate waste. 103 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,328 - I assure you, you'll find zero waste here. 104 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,696 - Really? - Because I did notice 105 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,664 during my preliminary examination 106 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,667 that you recently purchased a $21,000 copy machine? 107 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:57,638 - Well, that machine saves money in terms of man-hours. 108 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,373 Uh, if you excuse me, Sergeant Wells, 109 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,708 we need to go to the BRB. 110 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,344 It's BRB time. We're BRB-ing. 111 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,678 - Make space. - You make space! 112 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,490 This closet is for people who are freaking out. 113 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,624 - Oh, I'm fully freaking out. 114 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,584 I just experimented with an unfamiliar acronym in public. 115 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,620 - BRB... what does it even mean? - Be right back. 116 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,464 - It has the same number of syllables as the acronym. 117 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:15,723 What's the point? 118 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,334 - Teddy knows about the fancy Japanese copier 119 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,326 that C.J. bought... 120 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,119 The one that broke the first time we used it. 121 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,767 Is it supposed to do that? 122 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,869 It was not supposed to do that. 123 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,771 - Is this where people are freaking out? 124 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:31,848 Because we are freaking out. 125 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,683 - Teddy dinged the One-Five for having roaches. 126 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,309 - So what? - We don't have roaches. 127 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,410 Our rats ate all of them. 128 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,345 - That's the problem. - We have rats. 129 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,422 - Right, right, right, right, that's worse. 130 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,324 - Oh, God, they're gonna shut this precinct down 131 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,515 and separate me and Jake. 132 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,750 Our friendship is over. 133 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,728 If he doesn't see my face every day, he'll forget who I am. 134 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,654 He's like a goldfish. 135 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:47,655 This is all your fault. 136 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,590 You just had to sleep with Teddy, didn't you? 137 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,558 You couldn't keep it in your pants. 138 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,393 - Come on, Charles. - He's right, Santiago. 139 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,061 Your libido has endangered us all. 140 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,696 Excuse me, guys, coming in. 141 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,731 - Wait. Gina, you sure you can fit in? 142 00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,768 - I'm sorry. Because of my injury, I can no longer fit in? 143 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,669 - No, I meant physically. 144 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:02,703 - I'll have you know, 145 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,838 I am physically as strong as I've ever been... 146 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,607 Stronger even. 147 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,677 I'm Gina Linetti, and I can do anything, okay? 148 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,845 Excuse me, please. Excuse me. 149 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,815 Oh, yeah, this is too crowded. 150 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,917 Shouldn't have wasted my speech on this moment. 151 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,118 - To the evidence room. 152 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:18,952 You two need to figure out 153 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,588 how to patch things up with Teddy. 154 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,131 - He's still upset that I called him boring. 155 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,700 We just have to pretend that he's interesting. 156 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,435 I got pretty good at it while we were dating. 157 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:26,727 We just have to smile and nod 158 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,729 and agree with whatever he said last. 159 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,398 - Great. - Hey, wait a minute. 160 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:31,665 - I'm still not sure 161 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,477 who the second-best "Die Hard" villain is, though, you know? 162 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:34,735 Probably Jeremy Irons. 163 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,846 But maybe it's Timothy Olyphant, or it could be William Atherton. 164 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,606 - Definitely the last one. - Right? 165 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,441 - No, I really think it's William Atherton. 166 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,609 - Okay. 167 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,687 - We have to engage him on topics that he cares about. 168 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,614 Pilsners... he loves talking about pilsners. 169 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,116 Oh, my God. Just saying the word gives me PTSD: 170 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,117 - Pilsner-TSD. 171 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,552 - Good one. - Thanks. 172 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,386 - Pull yourself together 173 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,387 and go out there and make Teddy feel 174 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,287 like he's the most interesting man on Earth. 175 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,724 I want him to think he's Andy Borowitz 176 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,934 - when this is all done. - On it. 177 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,728 We'll go there and make him feel like whoever that person is. 178 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,962 Let's go. 179 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:05,132 - Okay, now what we need to do is fix that infernal copier. 180 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,767 Jeffords, you did a year abroad in Tokyo. 181 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,470 Maybe you can figure out the manual. It's in Japanese. 182 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,748 - I can try, but the only thing I really remember how to say 183 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:14,408 is, "Do you have a bigger door I can enter through?" 184 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,619 - Bring me solutions, not problems. 185 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,753 Now, what do we do about the rats? 186 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,145 - Well, lucky for us, 187 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,648 I have recently come into a lot of wolf urine. 188 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:21,915 - That's lucky for us how? 189 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,485 - It creates a scent impression that there are predators nearby. 190 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,620 I've been dousing Nikolaj's shoes with it 191 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,864 to scare off bullies at his preschool. 192 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,757 - Did it work? - No, now they call him pee boy. 193 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,692 He's much worse off. 194 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,495 But wolf urine definitely scares off rats. 195 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,630 We can use it to herd them toward the traps. 196 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,466 - What about me? - Like, what should I do? 197 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,534 - I just thought maybe you could take it easy. 198 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:41,878 - It's your first day and... - I'll have you know, 199 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,772 I am as strong physically as I have ever been... 200 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,607 - Stronger even. - You already did this. 201 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,509 - Yeah, I have short-term amnesia. 202 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,777 I got hit by a bus. 203 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,746 But don't worry. I am as strong physically as I have ever been... 204 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,614 Stronger even. 205 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,207 - Fine. You can help me with the copier. 206 00:06:56,817 --> 00:07:00,754 - Detectives have chosen an adequate location 207 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:01,889 for their stakeout. 208 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,657 - Teddy, how's it going, my man? 209 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,469 Nice to see you. I'm glad we get to spend this time together. 210 00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:06,770 - I haven't seen you since... - You broke me and Amy up. 211 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,028 - Maybe. - Probably not. 212 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,963 Who can say when people last saw people? 213 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:13,667 - Anyway, that's the HQ for the 8th Street Killas. 214 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,903 We think they're meeting up with leaders of another gang 215 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,805 to possibly merge organizations. 216 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:18,739 - Detectives demonstrate 217 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,674 a passable knowledge of their operation. 218 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,210 - Cool. So, hey, we might be here for a while. 219 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,813 - Can I offer you a beverage? - Ooh. 220 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,548 Diet ginger ale... That is my favorite. 221 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,817 Actually, I shouldn't. It'll make me all hyper. 222 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,553 - Suit yourself. - Too bad we're on the job, right? 223 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,063 Could've stocked that thing with pilsners. 224 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,756 - You like pilsners? - Are you kidding me? 225 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,990 I kills for the pils. 226 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,826 I'm a total pils-nerd. 227 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,500 - What's your poison... - German or Bohemian? 228 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,702 - The last one that you said. - Good choice. 229 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,604 - The last one always is. - Wow. This is fun. 230 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,040 I could talk with you about pilsners all day. 231 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,074 - Oh, let's do it. 232 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,809 Of the Bohemians, what's your fave? 233 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,846 - Scharfen... grelderbrau. 234 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,648 It's new. Millennials love it. 235 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,691 - Cool. - Let me make note of that. 236 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:05,719 Just caught Detectives S and P in a bald-faced lie. 237 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,521 You don't like pilsners. You hate pilsners. 238 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,533 You think they're boring, and you still think I'm boring. 239 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,058 - No. No lie. 240 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,860 Detectives S and P didn't lie. 241 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,828 Detectives S and P no lie. 242 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,132 - Sergeant, please tell me 243 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,535 this malfunctioning copier isn't gonna sink our precinct. 244 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,612 - I figured out how to turn it on, 245 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,606 but the screen just shows a cartoon turtle sobbing. 246 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,716 - Perhaps it's a paper jam. 247 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,585 - And what about when the little sushi roll comes out 248 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,010 and cuts the turtle's head off? 249 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,278 - Toner issue. - Why? 250 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,113 Anyway, I started taking it apart, 251 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,149 but it's been a slow process for some reason. 252 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,118 - Hey, Captain, I'm glad you're here to see this. 253 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,553 I'm just about to drink my tea. 254 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,188 Terry. 255 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,631 Can't even tell I was hit by a bus. 256 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,600 That's how independent I am. 257 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,101 - Well, perhaps Boyle and Diaz 258 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,036 have made more progress with the rats. 259 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,313 - We've made absolutely no progress. 260 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,447 It took forever to bait the traps 261 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,684 because Scully kept eating the peanut butter out of them. 262 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,676 - You can't prove it was me, Rosa. 263 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:03,787 - Now we're gonna use the wolf urine 264 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,046 to flush the rats out of the walls and into our traps. 265 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,716 - That's where I come in. - I'm going up in the ceiling. 266 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,359 - Why are you dressed like that? - Mobility. 267 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,985 It's a good thing I still have 268 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,621 my sexy-cat costume from Halloween. 269 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:14,521 - I really don't think 270 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,565 you were the target audience for that item. 271 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,025 - There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat. 272 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,161 Now, please hand me that big jug of wolf pee I rub on my kid. 273 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,031 - Okay, Teddy, let's not evaluate rashly here, all right? 274 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,065 It's a misunderstanding. 275 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,667 We're not saying pilsners are boring. 276 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,368 We're saying that we are too boring 277 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,237 to appreciate them properly... 278 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,606 - Is what I'm going with. - Jake, I agree with you. 279 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,317 Pilsners are boring. That's why I don't drink them anymore. 280 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,043 - Say what now? - Amy was right. 281 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,978 When we were going together, I was boring. 282 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,355 It took our breakup for me to realize that. 283 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,314 - So you're not still mad at me? 284 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,392 - No, no, no, you changed me. - I found my wild side. 285 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,252 My girlfriend and I do 5Ks now. 286 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,387 We took a two-week trip to San Diego last year. 287 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,389 The energy of that place is electric. 288 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,692 - But back at the precinct, you said, 289 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,326 "I hope I don't bore you to death." 290 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,763 That was a joke. 291 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,998 Humor is the tool of the interesting. 292 00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,400 - Right. A tool that you have clearly mastered. 293 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,369 - Ooh, get this... - My lady turned me on 294 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,371 to something called adult coloring books, 295 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,707 which we do at... wait for it... 296 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,308 Jazz brunches. What? 297 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,378 - Aha. Wow. It's like brunch is crazy enough on its own, 298 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,113 then you throw jazz in the mix. 299 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,382 It's like, "Why are we even doing this?" 300 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,388 - Oh, my God, that is... 301 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,724 This is fun. I have not laughed this much in a long time. 302 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:24,858 - Twice. 303 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,670 - Reminder... invite Jake and Amy to jazz brunch tomorrow. 304 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,328 - Uh, reminder... - We're in. 305 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,006 - Good. But I am actually gonna email you the invite, 306 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,431 if you could just RSVP to that. 307 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,276 I'd feel better if everyone had it on their calendars. 308 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,377 - Copy that. - We all have calendars. 309 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,770 So that'll work out great, 'cause we all have one. 310 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,405 - How's it going with the copier? 311 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,406 - Not great. 312 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,274 I got through to customer service, 313 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,376 but I really don't remember that much Japanese. 314 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,415 - Hey, Captain. - Update on the rat situation. 315 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,349 Wolf pee's in place, 316 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,459 and the traps are set in the evidence room. 317 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,786 - I thought we were luring them into the break room. 318 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,688 - No, Gina needed it for meditation. 319 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:58,225 You are strong. You are wise. 320 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:02,462 You will have your revenge on all New York City buses. 321 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,064 - Everything else is good? - Not quite. 322 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,265 We have a Charles situation. 323 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,409 - Well, how stuck are you, Boyle? 324 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,600 - Completely. 325 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,403 My tail seems to have gotten knotted around a sprinkler. 326 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:11,471 I think I can pull it. 327 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,873 - No, that might break the pipe. 328 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,441 The last thing we need is a flood. 329 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,452 - That's okay. I'm sure you'll have me down in no time. 330 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,321 - Incorrect. That would make a hole in the ceiling. 331 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,446 You're there till Monday. 332 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,824 We'll bring you some food in a bucket. 333 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,315 - Sir, I really think... 334 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,416 - He'll be fine. 335 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,085 - Guava juice, mango juice, 336 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:25,986 orange juice, of course, 337 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,222 grapefruit juice, and cranberry juice. 338 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,424 - Jazz brunch sounds insane. 339 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,294 But should we talk about how efficient and well run 340 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,438 the Nine-Nine is for a while? 341 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,830 - We got plenty of time for that. 342 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:37,664 I'm gonna hit the little boys' room. 343 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,875 When I get back, remind me to tell you 344 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,200 all about the omelet-bar station. 345 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,334 - We will. - You bet. 346 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,870 - Spoiler alert... 347 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,304 two kinds of bell pepper. 348 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,474 Oh, my God, he's so boring. 349 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,376 - He's so boring. - Most boring man in America. 350 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,178 - And that's him trying to be interesting. 351 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,412 That is Spring Break Teddy. 352 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,181 How did you ever date him? 353 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,449 - Oh, no, he has a really big wiener, doesn't he? 354 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,427 Wait. Don't tell me if that's true, unless it's not. 355 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,429 No, but then if you don't say anything, I'll know that it is. 356 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,465 Oh, why aren't you saying anything about his wiener, Amy? 357 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:03,390 - Jake. - Stop, stop, stop, stop. 358 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,192 I don't want to hear about your ex's wiener. 359 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,302 Just... you're not making me feel better. 360 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,196 - Why would you do this to me? - Jake, stop spiraling. 361 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,940 - Every time you shake me, I see it flopping around. 362 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,200 - Stop. Oh, look, there's our gang leader. 363 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,836 - Seriously? 364 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,539 Wow. Perfect timing, successful stakeout. 365 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,374 There's no way that Sergeant Boring Big Wiener 366 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,876 will shut us down now. 367 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,145 - Shh. I think I hear Teddy. - You didn't answer. 368 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,479 - Forgot the old phonester. 369 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,415 I like to go through my contacts while I go pee. 370 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,359 - So you only need to use one hand... that's great. 371 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,185 - Oh, look, it was still recording. 372 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,329 - Like, recording recording? 373 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,487 Yeah. 374 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,390 - Oh, this is bad. - What? What's wrong? 375 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,902 Oh, my God. It was recording the whole time. 376 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:39,936 We said all that bad stuff. 377 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,162 Sorry. I was so preoccupied with the wiener stuff. 378 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,496 Oh, this is bad. 379 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,166 But while I have you, just stop me. 380 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,971 - I know accepting Teddy's jazz-brunch invite 381 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,081 was the only way to get his phone back 382 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,073 and save the Nine-Nine, 383 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,108 but this place is literally hell. 384 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,255 - She's doing jazz about brunch. 385 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,957 Maybe it's not too late to get out of here. 386 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,850 We could start a new life in the country, 387 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:03,927 maybe open a small bookstore. 388 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,953 - How dare you tempt me with a small bookstore? 389 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,988 - We need to focus. - Okay. 390 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,156 - Look, Teddy's over there. 391 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,124 Oh, and he's in fun, casual wear. 392 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,969 His phone is out on the table, like it always is, 393 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,395 because he fears the radiation will affect his testicles. 394 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,040 - Which are connected to his average-sized... 395 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,304 - Jake. - Right. It's misshapen. 396 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,266 That's all that matters. 397 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,476 All right, here's the plan... We stage a fight. 398 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,003 It escalates, and I flip over the table in dramatic fashion. 399 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:23,937 - Do we need the table flip? 400 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,239 - Amy, when the opportunity presents itself 401 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,976 to flip-a da table, uh, you flip-a da table. 402 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,253 - And in the chaos, you grab his phone, 403 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,112 delete the recording, and we're golden. 404 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,982 - Perfect. All right, let's stage a fake fight. 405 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,183 This'll be fun, right? 406 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,061 Pretending like we have things to be mad at each other about. 407 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,987 - Jake's chronic tardiness, his slobbiness, 408 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,855 and the fact that he wasted half the morning 409 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:42,899 deciding what sneakers to wear... 410 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,058 Those are just some of the reasons we're late. 411 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,602 No one cares about your sneakers, Jake. 412 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:47,928 - Yeah, very convincing. 413 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,105 - We're just glad you guys made it. 414 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,273 This is Rachel, my girlfriend. 415 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,098 - Hi. 416 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,967 So Teddy said you guys had such a blast 417 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,969 - at the stakeout. - Yes, it was incredible. 418 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,014 Can I really quickly just say the real reason we were late 419 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:58,906 was that Amy insisted 420 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,116 on brushing her teeth for 30 minutes? 421 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,976 - Two minutes or one minute, 58 seconds longer than you did. 422 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,945 Anyway, can we please just talk to our friends? 423 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,880 - Wow. Fine. - Fine. 424 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:07,747 - So, Rachel... - Hmm? 425 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,383 - How did you guys meet? - Oh. 426 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,119 Such a wild story. 427 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,654 So I was on an elevator... 428 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,457 and so was Teddy. 429 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,227 - Oh, that's the whole story. - I think it's romantic. 430 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,963 I remember when our relationship had magic moments like that 431 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,064 before it went stale. 432 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,265 - Stale? - Mm. 433 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,667 - Okay, you want some action, Jackson? 434 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,270 Well, how about I make a scene? 435 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,638 Whoa. 436 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,674 - What are you doing? - Flip-a-ing de table. 437 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,111 - It's bolted down. - Oh, what a shock. 438 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,679 You tried something and failed. 439 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,114 - Okay, you know what? - That's it. 440 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,050 I'm gonna slide it right off! 441 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,253 I am so sorry. I got carried away. 442 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,088 I will now clean this up entirely by myself. 443 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,390 - No... - No, please keep your eyes 444 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,693 on me as I make this sincere apology. 445 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,263 I am sorry. 446 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,999 - It's okay. Something crazy always happens at jazz brunch. 447 00:14:59,032 --> 00:14:59,899 It's the Wild West. 448 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,402 - Oh, man, Teddy, look what happened. 449 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,005 Your phone landed directly in this glass of OJ. 450 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,074 - That seems almost impossible. 451 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,117 - "Almost" being the key word, 452 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,010 but it happened for real, and we all know it. 453 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,144 There you go. 454 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,080 - That's it. - You've gone too far. 455 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,948 I am storming off now. 456 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:18,351 - No, you've gone too far, and I'm storming off now! 457 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:22,122 - There's something I'd like to show you, Captain. 458 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,029 - Terry... crushed... it. 459 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,330 It works! 460 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,100 - I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life. 461 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,502 - I mean, I've solved a lot of cases for you. 462 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:36,712 - And yet crime has continued. 463 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:37,880 - I think we've done it, Captain. 464 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,207 Just heard the traps go off. Want to come check with us? 465 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,975 - Of course. How's Boyle doing? - He's fine. 466 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,077 You know how quickly he submits to his environment. 467 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,079 - Where are the rats? 468 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,348 - There's blood everywhere. - This is a horror scene. 469 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,150 - They must've chewed themselves free. 470 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,327 - Detective Diaz, what was in that box? 471 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,386 - It's from a closed case in 1986, 472 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,564 when they busted the guy that dealt to the New York Mets. 473 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,724 - My God, those rats have eaten the purest cocaine 474 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,126 in the history of this city. 475 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,760 - They know no fear or pain. 476 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,196 And look! They're back in the walls. 477 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,065 Boyle! 478 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,300 - Ah! The rats chewed through the sprinkler pipe. 479 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,069 - They're coked up. - Get out of there. 480 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:09,869 - They think I'm a cat. 481 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,172 - Boyle, be careful of the ceiling. 482 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,306 Submit to them! 483 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,541 - Tell Jake I never panicked. 484 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,076 Aah! 485 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,547 - My copier! - My precinct! 486 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,149 - Charles! 487 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,416 Charles? 488 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,286 - Aah! They survived the fall! 489 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,320 Run! 490 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,057 - That was fun. We're really good at fake fighting. 491 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:30,857 And you were amazing at coming up 492 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,292 with all that stuff to be mad about. 493 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,294 - Yep, totally, I just said all that stuff 494 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,296 to save the precinct, and that's all. 495 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,232 - Oh, my God. You don't actually care about my sneakers. 496 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,300 - No! 497 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,435 I care about them deeply. 498 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,104 They're all so different. 499 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,372 - Okay. 500 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,041 - Hey, guys, it's Teddy from jazz brunch. 501 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,042 - Hey, Teddy. 502 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,043 It's Teddy from jazz brunch. 503 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,187 - Why is he here? - I don't know. 504 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,355 But the fake fight's back on. 505 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:56,116 So shut it, you bigmouthed bitch and your stupid sneakers! 506 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,793 - If you don't like my shoes, you can just tell me. 507 00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,053 - Hi. Can I talk to you guys about something? 508 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:00,953 - Actually, Teddy, this is not a good time. 509 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,098 We're still having a pretty big fight. 510 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:05,125 - Well, I think what I'm about to say may solve things. 511 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,569 - Amy, I'm still in love with you. - What? 512 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,560 - What? - What? 513 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,628 - Uh-oh. 514 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,034 Jazz. 515 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,139 - Okay. Okay, everybody just calm down 516 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,172 and take a deep breath. 517 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,415 What the hell is going on, man? 518 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,687 - Yeah, what the hell is going on? 519 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,446 - You've got a girlfriend. - I know. 520 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,115 - And she's fine. - Thanks. 521 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,416 - Sorry. - I was really planning 522 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,850 on you being in the cab during this. 523 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,228 - Okay, that wouldn't make it better. 524 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,120 - No. - Amy, I'm just... 525 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,221 I'm not over you yet, 526 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,755 and I would've never said anything, 527 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,624 because I thought you and Jake were happy, 528 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,767 but after seeing you at jazz brunch, 529 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,836 - I think I might've been wrong. - Don't read into that. 530 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,130 That was a freak argument. We are very happy. 531 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,697 - Amy, we have all the same interests. 532 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,771 We have so much chemistry. 533 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,833 When we're together, 534 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,136 it's like, no matter where we are, it's San Diego. 535 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,879 - I feel compelled to tell you that San Diego's terrible. 536 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,272 - I'm gonna lay it all on the line. 537 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,107 Amy Santiago... 538 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,209 will you marry me? 539 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,177 - What? - What? 540 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,145 - Okay, really, could you stay in the cab? 541 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,788 I'm sorry. I'll be right there. I promise. 542 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,190 Or maybe I won't. What's your answer? 543 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,183 - Teddy, I don't want to be with you. 544 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,594 - But you want to be with him? - You guys have nothing in common. 545 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,854 - Oh, yeah? - Tell that to William Atherton... 546 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,289 The man we both consider to be 547 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,857 the second-best "Die Hard" villain. 548 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,192 She meant it. 549 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,594 - And also, yes, we are different people, 550 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,296 but I love that about us. 551 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,864 I love that Jake's a little messy 552 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,600 and that he cares so much about his dumb sneakers 553 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,203 and he doesn't get stressed out about calendars. 554 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,838 - Or flossing my teeth. - No, the non-flossing is crazy. 555 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,207 - Copy that, and I love you. 556 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,208 - I'm just so confused. 557 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,885 Your fight was like something out of a movie. 558 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,179 - Teddy... - No. 559 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,289 - I have to tell you the truth. 560 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,781 - No. Amy is dying. 561 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:35,648 She has one month to live. 562 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,584 Marrying her would be a waste of time. 563 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,162 - Jake and I were only pretending to fight 564 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,753 so that we could destroy your phone. 565 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,156 While we were on the stakeout and you were in the bathroom, 566 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,292 we said you were the most boring man in America, 567 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,693 and your phone recorded it. 568 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,860 I'm sorry. 569 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,173 We didn't want you to get mad at us and fail the precinct. 570 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,832 - Wow. - You guys are the worst. 571 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,610 - Well, you just proposed in front of your girlfriend, 572 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,702 so potato, po-tah-to. 573 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,270 - Amy, I loved you. 574 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,316 All right, I'm ready to go, Rachel. 575 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,808 Should we hit up the Tenement Museum? 576 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,176 No! 577 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,744 - I talked to NYPD facilities 578 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,589 to see if they could get an emergency cleanup crew 579 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,714 out to us this afternoon. 580 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,217 I received their standard response. 581 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,786 - This is on you, Boyle. 582 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,964 You couldn't just suck it up and let a few dozen crazed rats 583 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,524 eat you until their hearts exploded? 584 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,658 - Don't blame Boyle. 585 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:19,968 The rats only got into the cocaine 586 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,928 because you put the traps in the evidence room. 587 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,706 - We were gonna use the break room, but Gina was in there, 588 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,299 and she got hit by a damn bus, so nobody can say no to her. 589 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,734 - That's it. 590 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,936 Nobody can say no to her. 591 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,275 Answer's still no. 592 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,311 - Right, but maybe you should speak to my colleague first. 593 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,283 - Hi. - I got hit by a bus. 594 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,286 - Wow. - This place looks amazing. 595 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,855 - Yes, thanks to Gina. - She's responsible for all of it. 596 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,922 She's an inspiration. 597 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,291 - Thank you, Captain. 598 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,925 You have permission to share my story. 599 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,994 - So how'd it go with Sergeant Wells? 600 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,863 - Let's see. - He proposed to Amy. 601 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,232 She said no, and then his girlfriend dumped him. 602 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,976 - Terry's getting nervous. - It's worse than it sounds. 603 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,835 There was a jazz brunch involved. 604 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,070 - Oh. - Oh, my God. 605 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,973 Look, all we can do is hope that Sergeant Wells handles this 606 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,842 like a professional and respects the uniform that we all wear. 607 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,912 - Hey, everybody, look who's here. 608 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,615 It's me, the most boring man in America. 609 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,760 - Well, to be the most anything in America is pretty good. 610 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:18,918 I mean, it's a big country. 611 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,621 - Teddy, we are so sorry. - No, you don't have to be. 612 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,755 It's okay. I get it. 613 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,591 I am boring. I'm owning it now. 614 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,768 - Sergeant Wells, I understand 615 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,303 that you're upset for personal reasons, 616 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,962 but we're hoping that you'll give us a fair evaluation. 617 00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:30,830 - I will not... 618 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,865 'cause I'm not gonna write one at all. 619 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,000 I'm recusing myself. 620 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,936 - Oh. - That is so sweet. 621 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,905 Thank you for being such a good guy, Teddy. 622 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:42,008 - Okay. I can read between the lines, and I love you, too. 623 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,710 Amy Santiago, will you... 624 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,278 - No! Get up! - Come on! 625 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:48,014 - Well, for what it's worth, your precinct is immaculate. 626 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,883 I'm sure that your new auditor, Lieutenant Hopkins, 627 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,285 will be very impressed. 628 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:54,854 - Veronica Hopkins? - That's the one. 629 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,023 - Well, the good news is, 630 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,358 Amy has not dated her. 631 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:01,394 - No, but I did, and she hates me. 632 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,763 - Why can't any of you keep it in your pants? 633 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,365 Hello, Nine-Nine. 634 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,367 I'm Lieutenant Hopkins. 635 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,035 Hello, Terry Jeffords. 636 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,371 Come here and give an old friend a hug. 637 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,341 - Hey. - So good to see you. 638 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,344 - I'm shutting the Nine-Nine down, 639 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,912 and there is nothing you can do about it. 640 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:23,049 Oh! 641 00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,918 This place is fantastic. 642 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,054 This is gonna be fun. 643 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:31,090 - She seems nice. 644 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,292 - Not a doctor. - Shh.