1 00:00:01,457 --> 00:00:03,884 Hey, Charles, can we talk in the briefing room for a sec? 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,686 - There's a question I gotta ask you. - Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,498 It's happening. 4 00:00:10,534 --> 00:00:12,030 Jake is gonna pop the question. 5 00:00:12,066 --> 00:00:14,167 - He's gonna ask me to be his BM. - No. 6 00:00:14,204 --> 00:00:16,100 BM, best man, is a common abbreviation. 7 00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,071 No one but you has ever used it. 8 00:00:18,104 --> 00:00:19,610 I am so relieved. 9 00:00:19,646 --> 00:00:21,684 I thought maybe he was gonna ask one of Amy's brothers 10 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,989 or, ugh, Sarge. 11 00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:24,818 - Hey, man, come on. - Charles! 12 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,499 Okay, so I know this is a lot to ask... 13 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,801 No, it's not. I want to do it. 14 00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:34,389 You want to cover my shift this weekend 15 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:35,776 so I can go to the White Plains Mall 16 00:00:35,812 --> 00:00:37,856 and meet Darryl Strawberry at the opening of a cellphone store? 17 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:39,715 Yes. 18 00:00:39,982 --> 00:00:41,784 It's exactly what I was hoping you'd ask. 19 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,956 Great. Thanks. You sure it's okay? 20 00:00:43,989 --> 00:00:45,760 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:48,092 I'm very happy about it. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 22 00:00:48,128 --> 00:00:50,484 Uh, look at my smile. Have to go now. 23 00:00:51,939 --> 00:00:53,643 Surprise! 24 00:00:53,676 --> 00:00:55,613 Oh, my God! 25 00:00:55,647 --> 00:00:57,463 - Jake! - What do you say, bud? 26 00:00:57,499 --> 00:01:01,067 - Will you be my BM? - Yes! Yes, a million times, yes! 27 00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:02,900 In your face, Terry! 28 00:01:02,936 --> 00:01:04,452 What? I'm holding a sparkler for you. 29 00:01:04,488 --> 00:01:05,967 I helped organize a lot of this. 30 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,749 Well, you can stick that sparkler up your butt. 31 00:01:07,785 --> 00:01:09,288 I'm the best man! 32 00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:28,706 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,519 Captain, allow me to introduce you 34 00:01:31,552 --> 00:01:34,825 to major East Coast arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 35 00:01:34,858 --> 00:01:37,067 That's right, his nickname is longer than his actual name. 36 00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:39,140 - Why's that, Terry? - 'Cause he's a dick. 37 00:01:39,635 --> 00:01:42,070 We got a warrant to bug him, but his house is a fortress 38 00:01:42,106 --> 00:01:43,642 and he never goes anywhere in public. 39 00:01:43,678 --> 00:01:45,633 Luckily, CI just gave us a break. 40 00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:47,900 Valdano's gonna actually leave his house 41 00:01:47,936 --> 00:01:50,189 to go to a high stakes poker game this Friday. 42 00:01:50,225 --> 00:01:53,573 If we can get a seat at that table, we can lose this watch to him. 43 00:01:53,609 --> 00:01:54,925 And guess what. It's... 44 00:01:54,961 --> 00:01:56,887 - Bugged! - Yes, it's bugged. 45 00:01:56,923 --> 00:01:58,040 Good guess, Captain. 46 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,122 The plan is, we go to the club tonight, 47 00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:03,429 show off our poker skills, and get an invite to the high stakes game. 48 00:02:03,465 --> 00:02:05,736 All we need is $15,000 to get in the door. 49 00:02:05,772 --> 00:02:07,268 That's a lot of money. How are your poker skills? 50 00:02:07,304 --> 00:02:08,832 A'ight. 51 00:02:08,868 --> 00:02:09,888 - Good. - A'ight. 52 00:02:09,924 --> 00:02:10,930 - Hecka good. - A'ight. 53 00:02:10,963 --> 00:02:12,743 - So good. - Perhaps I should see for myself. 54 00:02:12,779 --> 00:02:14,969 - Oh. Do you play? - I am... 55 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,525 - A'ight. - Damn, Cap. 56 00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:20,032 - Are you secretly cool? - Well, poker is just math, 57 00:02:20,068 --> 00:02:21,585 so I guess it depends on if you consider 58 00:02:21,621 --> 00:02:25,070 the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool. 59 00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:26,795 I do not. 60 00:02:26,829 --> 00:02:28,565 All right, let's play some cards. 61 00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:30,484 Sarge asked me to help you guys with some filing. 62 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,387 Holy crap, this is gonna take all day. 63 00:02:32,423 --> 00:02:34,528 Yup, it's what we call an all-dayer. 64 00:02:34,564 --> 00:02:36,023 How long did it take you two to come up with that? 65 00:02:36,059 --> 00:02:38,619 - That was a two-dayer. - Okay, well, hand me some files. 66 00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:43,863 You're not gonna bother actually walking? 67 00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:45,860 Why should we? We can work from down here. 68 00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:47,693 I'm sitting down as long as I can. 69 00:02:47,729 --> 00:02:49,975 I'm not getting out of the chair till it's time to go home. 70 00:02:50,008 --> 00:02:52,714 - Ugh. - Oh, typical standing elite. 71 00:02:52,938 --> 00:02:54,976 You couldn't sit all day if you tried. 72 00:02:55,012 --> 00:02:58,452 What? You don't think I could outlast you turds in a chair? 73 00:02:58,488 --> 00:03:00,747 Honey, you don't have the ass for it. 74 00:03:01,846 --> 00:03:03,328 Let's talk terms. 75 00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:05,707 Both cheeks on the cushion at all times. 76 00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:07,147 Obviously. Bathroom breaks? 77 00:03:07,184 --> 00:03:08,593 Two and a half minutes every three hours. 78 00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:10,513 But you gotta roll the chair fully into the stall. 79 00:03:10,549 --> 00:03:13,222 - Obviously. - Okay. 80 00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:18,246 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Buttlympics. 81 00:03:19,435 --> 00:03:21,783 I call to order the meeting of investors 82 00:03:21,819 --> 00:03:24,781 in the forthcoming Charles Boyle owned-and-operated 83 00:03:24,817 --> 00:03:26,442 food truck venture. 84 00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:29,454 I know I'm the only investor, but is it cool if I take minutes? 85 00:03:29,487 --> 00:03:31,918 Yes. Put this down: we got a truck. 86 00:03:31,954 --> 00:03:33,929 What? Really? That's huge. 87 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:34,965 Take a look. 88 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,470 Is that the NYPD police auction site? 89 00:03:37,503 --> 00:03:38,939 Yeah, that's how I found out about it. 90 00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:41,211 And there's our baby. Isn't she a... 91 00:03:41,244 --> 00:03:42,633 Murder truck? 92 00:03:42,669 --> 00:03:44,818 That's the truck from the Tinga Time Taco murders! 93 00:03:44,854 --> 00:03:46,699 Yes, two brothers were using a taco truck 94 00:03:46,735 --> 00:03:48,645 to move heroin and then were killed by the cartel 95 00:03:48,681 --> 00:03:50,561 - that supplied them. - Not just killed, Boyle. 96 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,434 Dismembered. Right in the truck. 97 00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:55,352 Right in our truck. That's why it was such bargain. 98 00:03:55,388 --> 00:03:58,507 Everyone else was like, "Ooh, there's a knee in the fryer. 99 00:03:58,543 --> 00:04:00,635 I don't want to sell food out of this." 100 00:04:00,671 --> 00:04:03,242 - They found a knee in the fryer? - Exactly. You get it. 101 00:04:03,278 --> 00:04:05,175 Well, now I get to go pick it up. 102 00:04:05,893 --> 00:04:08,031 Oh, almost forgot my hazmat suit. 103 00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:12,326 And... I win again. 104 00:04:12,362 --> 00:04:15,608 Which is not surprising, given how you are both terrible. 105 00:04:15,644 --> 00:04:17,176 You don't even know the terminology. 106 00:04:17,212 --> 00:04:19,668 - What are you talking about? "Hit me." - That is blackjack. 107 00:04:19,704 --> 00:04:20,793 - Snake-eyes. - Craps. 108 00:04:20,842 --> 00:04:22,257 - Go Fish. - And I believe that is 109 00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:23,434 - Go Fish. - Fine. 110 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:24,901 Jake stinks, but I can play. 111 00:04:24,937 --> 00:04:27,480 Yes, but you have a rather unfortunate tell: 112 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:28,657 your right breast. 113 00:04:29,129 --> 00:04:31,567 Oh, no. My cards are terrible. 114 00:04:31,765 --> 00:04:33,081 Sure they are. 115 00:04:33,114 --> 00:04:34,674 Dammit, Eugene, you sold me out! 116 00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:35,921 Captain, do I have a tell? 117 00:04:35,957 --> 00:04:37,412 No, you don't understand the game well enough 118 00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:38,863 - to have a tell. - Yeah, that makes sense. 119 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,283 What about you? What's your tell? 120 00:04:40,319 --> 00:04:42,468 It is subtle. You will never discern it. 121 00:04:42,504 --> 00:04:45,071 Oh, really? Well, challenge accepted. 122 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,645 Tell me a lie. 123 00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,011 You're both great at poker 124 00:04:48,044 --> 00:04:49,251 and I'm not gonna cancel the mission. 125 00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:51,023 Nope, I couldn't see it. Wait, what? 126 00:04:51,059 --> 00:04:52,495 You're cancelling the mission? You can't do that. 127 00:04:52,531 --> 00:04:54,269 This is our only shot at catching Valdano. 128 00:04:54,305 --> 00:04:55,808 It's a foolish plan. Neither of you have any chance 129 00:04:55,844 --> 00:04:57,439 of making it to the VIP table. 130 00:04:57,475 --> 00:04:59,111 But maybe you could. What if you played? 131 00:04:59,147 --> 00:05:00,516 No, I don't gamble anymore. 132 00:05:00,552 --> 00:05:02,373 A few years back I had a minor addiction, 133 00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:04,261 specifically involving... 134 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:05,983 the ponies. 135 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,385 I'd like to bet $20,000 on... 136 00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:12,260 Yabba Dabba Doo. 137 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,350 Sadly, Yabba Dabba Doo stumbled 138 00:05:14,386 --> 00:05:16,201 and had to be put down in front all of us. 139 00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:17,971 - Oh. That's fun. - Wait. 140 00:05:18,224 --> 00:05:20,395 What if I never went inside the casino? 141 00:05:20,431 --> 00:05:21,945 I could be outside in a surveillance van, 142 00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:24,049 telling Peralta what to do. 143 00:05:24,085 --> 00:05:25,882 Smart. That way you never technically gamble. 144 00:05:25,918 --> 00:05:27,323 - Right. - I don't know. 145 00:05:27,356 --> 00:05:29,360 Addiction is nothing to fool around with. 146 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:32,004 I had food issues. I ate a crate of hams once. 147 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,302 Yeah, and look at you now. 148 00:05:33,335 --> 00:05:35,708 You're like a super-jacked He-man guy, right? 149 00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:37,827 It's settled; we'll go with the captain's plan. 150 00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:41,891 Here's your persona: you're Billy "Big Time" Jankowski. 151 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:44,842 You wear sunglasses, headphones, and an unwashed hoodie. 152 00:05:45,006 --> 00:05:46,687 You normally gamble online, 153 00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:48,487 from your mother's basement, where you live. 154 00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:50,035 Seems unnecessary. 155 00:05:50,068 --> 00:05:52,039 The hoodie hides your sunglass-camera's electronics. 156 00:05:52,072 --> 00:05:54,663 I more meant the living in my mom's basement virgin vibe. 157 00:05:54,699 --> 00:05:58,135 You added the virgin, but I like it. It's part of your backstory now. 158 00:05:58,172 --> 00:05:59,950 - But... - You're a virgin. That's an order. 159 00:05:59,986 --> 00:06:01,723 But I don't want to be a virgin again. 160 00:06:02,159 --> 00:06:04,186 Okay, I'm approaching the table. 161 00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:06,813 Evening, gentlemen. Let's play some cards. 162 00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:08,419 And now, Peralta, say the following... 163 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:11,378 I'm coming in under the gun, and I've 15k behind. 164 00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,163 Okay. 165 00:06:13,589 --> 00:06:14,925 Action's on you. 166 00:06:16,373 --> 00:06:18,543 Mmm, tasty. Raise it 500. 167 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,095 Raise it 5-hundo. 168 00:06:20,128 --> 00:06:21,264 - Made up my own. - What? 169 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,540 I'm just talking to myself. 170 00:06:22,576 --> 00:06:24,306 I'm used to playing online, so it's not weird. 171 00:06:28,212 --> 00:06:29,547 Well, well, well. 172 00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,553 You flopped the absolute nuts, Peralta. Go all in. 173 00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,598 Are you sure? On the first hand, Captain? 174 00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:36,361 It's what the math dictates. 175 00:06:36,394 --> 00:06:39,367 At this moment there are no two cards that can beat Peralta. 176 00:06:39,403 --> 00:06:41,171 - I'm all in. - And now they all fold 177 00:06:41,204 --> 00:06:43,559 like so much recently dried linen. 178 00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:44,964 - I'll call. - What an idiot. 179 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,036 Two players. 180 00:06:49,466 --> 00:06:51,404 - What? - Full house wins. 181 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,439 - Yes! - No, he won; not you. 182 00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:54,833 You're out of chips. 183 00:06:54,869 --> 00:06:56,167 Oh, well, that sucks. 184 00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:58,137 Guess I'll just head back to my mom's basement. 185 00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,207 I'm a virgin. 186 00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:04,551 All clear. No poopers. No poopers. 187 00:07:04,585 --> 00:07:05,953 That was a disaster. 188 00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:07,840 I thought Holt was supposed to be great at this. 189 00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:10,849 - Any poopers? - All clear. 190 00:07:10,885 --> 00:07:12,098 What happened, Captain? 191 00:07:12,134 --> 00:07:13,669 That imbecile in the trucker hat 192 00:07:13,703 --> 00:07:16,172 hit both his runners and sucked out on the river. 193 00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:17,577 Yeah, he did. What does that mean? 194 00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:20,783 Not to worry. The odds of that happening again are infinitesimal. 195 00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:22,646 Not that it matters. Since we're out of money. 196 00:07:22,682 --> 00:07:24,666 Oh, but we're not. 197 00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:28,003 - Where'd this come from? - It's my money. 198 00:07:28,039 --> 00:07:29,675 There are 25 ATMs in this place. 199 00:07:29,711 --> 00:07:31,037 Even the fire exit has one. 200 00:07:31,070 --> 00:07:33,909 You want us to use your own money? You sure that's a good idea? 201 00:07:33,943 --> 00:07:36,589 I haven't placed a bet or touched a card. 202 00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:37,760 I'm fine. 203 00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,240 Technically that is true. 204 00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:41,278 Trust me; the math is in our favor. 205 00:07:41,397 --> 00:07:44,565 All right, let's get back in there and suck out two runners 206 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,933 down by the river. 207 00:07:46,349 --> 00:07:48,018 - Did I say that right? - Not even close. 208 00:07:48,054 --> 00:07:49,106 Yeah, I didn't think so. 209 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:50,643 Still, let's get in there and suck 'em out. 210 00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:51,864 No time like the present. 211 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,480 And no place to do it like the men's bathroom, 212 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:56,120 to leave from here to go do what we're talking about. 213 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,609 Ugh. Nine hours and 55 minutes. 214 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,399 Is it? I feel like I just sat down. 215 00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:04,031 I have no feeling down there whatsoever. 216 00:08:05,186 --> 00:08:07,423 I haven't in years. 217 00:08:07,459 --> 00:08:09,302 I'm doing great too. This has been a piece of ca... 218 00:08:09,338 --> 00:08:11,472 Oh, butt cramp. Butt cramp! 219 00:08:11,508 --> 00:08:12,687 That sounds painful. 220 00:08:12,721 --> 00:08:14,464 I bet you could use some electrolytes. 221 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,431 - Give me that! That's mine. - Come get it. 222 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,833 You'll never catch me! 223 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,092 Oh, won't I? 224 00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:21,449 Oh! 225 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,151 Cramp over. 226 00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:29,985 And so is our shift. 227 00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:32,560 Ha. And you thought I couldn't... Wait, what are you doing? 228 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,645 You thought we were done just because our shift was over? 229 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,033 - Amateur. - Oh. 230 00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,637 So you wanna take this thing into overtime? 231 00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:39,681 Fine. I got no place to be. 232 00:08:39,717 --> 00:08:41,287 Neither do I. I never do. 233 00:08:41,323 --> 00:08:43,716 Then it's agreed. The games continue. 234 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,043 And now you're going to... 235 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,114 - Fold. - Fold. 236 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,533 - Fold. - Fold. 237 00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:51,899 - Fold. - Fold. 238 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,836 Should we consider cutting our losses? 239 00:08:53,872 --> 00:08:56,070 Hush, Sergeant. Our cards are coming. 240 00:08:56,343 --> 00:08:59,679 And there she is. 241 00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:00,798 - You won. - I won. 242 00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:02,043 - You won! - Won again. 243 00:09:02,079 --> 00:09:03,447 - That's our straight. - And again, again. 244 00:09:03,483 --> 00:09:04,813 Hot damn! 245 00:09:04,849 --> 00:09:06,234 Peralta, say "hot damn." 246 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:08,033 - Hot damn! - Now you say it. 247 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:10,023 - Hot damn! - Full house. 248 00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:11,070 Eights over threes. 249 00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:13,270 Good. Now say to the dealer... 250 00:09:13,306 --> 00:09:15,244 Well, this has been fun. 251 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,082 But I'm sick of playing with... 252 00:09:17,115 --> 00:09:19,053 wittle wittle babies. 253 00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:22,267 Is there a table for people who wear big boy pants? 254 00:09:23,589 --> 00:09:25,800 Actually, there's a private game on Friday 255 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,076 I think you might like. 256 00:09:29,614 --> 00:09:30,869 Much obliged. 257 00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:33,983 - Hey, there, bud. - Hey. 258 00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:36,120 Can we talk about the murder truck we just purchased 259 00:09:36,153 --> 00:09:37,927 with our very hard-earned money? 260 00:09:37,963 --> 00:09:40,064 Oh, Amy, wait till you see her. 261 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,429 I spent all night pressure-washing her, 262 00:09:42,465 --> 00:09:44,059 and she is spotless. 263 00:09:44,095 --> 00:09:46,220 Yeah, it's just, what if word gets out 264 00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:48,360 that our food truck was the site of a double homicide? 265 00:09:48,399 --> 00:09:49,698 What if word gets out? 266 00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:52,107 It's in the "Our Story" section of the menu. 267 00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:53,607 We're calling it Murder Truck! 268 00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:54,866 - We are? - Yeah! 269 00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:57,814 - It was your idea. - No, it was my greatest fear. 270 00:09:57,850 --> 00:10:00,319 I can't believe you're leaning into the murder thing. 271 00:10:00,355 --> 00:10:02,876 Well, it'll get people talking. Check out the menu. 272 00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,924 It's printed on a crime scene photo. 273 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,390 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 274 00:10:06,426 --> 00:10:08,302 Charles, we're gonna lose all of our money. 275 00:10:08,338 --> 00:10:09,888 Are you worried? 276 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,514 Oh, okay, I see what's happening. 277 00:10:12,550 --> 00:10:14,831 Starting a business is very scary. 278 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:18,049 But I promise you, once you see our truck, 279 00:10:18,353 --> 00:10:20,233 you'll feel a lot better. Come on. 280 00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:24,782 No, no, no, no, no! My truck! My beautiful truck! 281 00:10:24,818 --> 00:10:26,087 Someone killed ripped her apart! 282 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,579 Charles, please tell me you got insurance. 283 00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:29,093 - I did. - Okay, thank God. 284 00:10:29,126 --> 00:10:31,021 Coverage starts tomorrow. 285 00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:34,597 Well, Valdano's gonna be there tonight, 286 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,204 and the recording device in the watch is transmitting. 287 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,276 I feel like Bond. Terry Bond. 288 00:10:39,312 --> 00:10:41,284 Well, technically I'm the one wearing the watch, 289 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,954 so that would make you Q at best. 290 00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:45,004 - Terry Q. - Yeah. Way to roll with it. 291 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,098 Come on, let's tell Holt we're prepped for tonight. 292 00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:48,935 I gotta say, I was wrong about him. 293 00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:51,238 He had no problem walking away last night. 294 00:10:51,665 --> 00:10:53,358 He left a lot of hams in that crate. 295 00:10:53,394 --> 00:10:54,477 Juicy. 296 00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:57,294 Spiral-cut, honey-sweet but salty... 297 00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,037 - Sarge, come back to me. - What? 298 00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:00,558 You're the one that brought up ham. 299 00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,446 - That was you. - Yes, yes, come to papa. 300 00:11:03,482 --> 00:11:06,301 Raise it a grand! Call. Raise. 301 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,639 A pair of candy canes. I'm all in, baby. 302 00:11:08,675 --> 00:11:10,276 - What are you doing, sir? - Working the case. 303 00:11:10,312 --> 00:11:11,943 Sharpening my poker skills for Valdano. 304 00:11:11,979 --> 00:11:15,018 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and why are you watching this children's beauty pageant? 305 00:11:15,051 --> 00:11:16,989 For fun, obviously. 306 00:11:17,022 --> 00:11:19,460 No, Jayla, don't drop the baton. 307 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,219 No, I had so much riding on you! 308 00:11:22,255 --> 00:11:24,793 Oh no. He is deep in the ham crate. 309 00:11:26,475 --> 00:11:28,246 - Are you sure about this? - Yes. 310 00:11:28,279 --> 00:11:30,222 Captain Holt's been in his office gambling for hours. 311 00:11:30,258 --> 00:11:31,939 Our only choice is to cut off his internet. 312 00:11:31,975 --> 00:11:33,987 No, I mean, are you sure you know how to do that? 313 00:11:34,023 --> 00:11:35,613 Of course. I just have to pull this... 314 00:11:35,649 --> 00:11:36,668 Oh! 315 00:11:38,186 --> 00:11:39,679 - Gah. - Wrong wire. 316 00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:41,805 Yep, we'll... we'll fix that later. 317 00:11:41,841 --> 00:11:43,243 And... 318 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,629 - What the hell? - Got it. 319 00:11:45,864 --> 00:11:47,594 Having trouble with your internet, sir? 320 00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,827 He's not here. Where'd he go? 321 00:11:49,863 --> 00:11:50,999 Roof. 322 00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:52,494 What are you doing? 323 00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:54,612 Trying to pick up a Wi-Fi signal from across the street. 324 00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:57,437 I've got $8,000 riding on little Jayla. 325 00:11:57,473 --> 00:11:59,535 Don't you think you have a bit of a problem here, sir? 326 00:11:59,571 --> 00:12:01,112 I'm in complete control. 327 00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:03,579 Now, Terry, come over here and dangle me off the edge of this building. 328 00:12:03,615 --> 00:12:06,489 Sir, I am not going to dangle you off the side of this building. 329 00:12:06,522 --> 00:12:07,925 You're fired. Peralta, let me climb onto your shoulders. 330 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,160 - I can't... - You're fired. 331 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,561 No one works here anymore. 332 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:12,854 Look, we need to have a real talk about your gambling. 333 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:15,114 Relapsing is nothing to be ashamed of. 334 00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:17,620 A couple years ago on my birthday I treated myself 335 00:12:17,656 --> 00:12:19,181 to one piece of pizza. 336 00:12:19,217 --> 00:12:22,829 I woke up the next morning in a Sbarro on the Jersey Turnpike. 337 00:12:22,865 --> 00:12:24,049 It wasn't even open! 338 00:12:24,085 --> 00:12:25,460 That's not what's happening here. 339 00:12:25,493 --> 00:12:27,931 I'm not weak like you. I can stop whenever I want. 340 00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:30,523 - Then stop. - I don't want. 341 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:31,798 Now if you'll excuse me, 342 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,959 I'm heading to the acai bowl internet café. 343 00:12:33,995 --> 00:12:37,152 Got a lot of money riding on the NLCS: whatever the hell that is. 344 00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,832 We can't let you do that. 345 00:12:38,868 --> 00:12:41,925 And how exactly will you stop me? 346 00:12:43,185 --> 00:12:44,650 We'll call your husband. 347 00:12:45,926 --> 00:12:47,080 No. 348 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,379 No, I can't put Kevin through this, not again. 349 00:12:50,988 --> 00:12:52,675 You're right. I've lost control, 350 00:12:52,947 --> 00:12:54,821 and I'm taking myself off this case. 351 00:12:55,055 --> 00:12:59,220 And I'm not going anywhere near gambling again. 352 00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,748 - You promise? - From the bottom of my heart. 353 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,125 It's a dead issue. 354 00:13:05,508 --> 00:13:06,884 I'm proud of you, sir. 355 00:13:07,007 --> 00:13:08,413 So am I, Captain. 356 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,842 So I'm sorry. Terry, you went to Jersey for pizza? 357 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,291 - I had a problem, man! - Right, sorry. 358 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:17,882 Ugh, how long have we been sitting? My butt's lost track of time. 359 00:13:17,918 --> 00:13:20,862 - Coming up on 32 hours. - I miss the little things. 360 00:13:21,207 --> 00:13:23,543 Showers. Feeling my feet. 361 00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:26,067 - Standing. - I miss my home chair. 362 00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:27,189 You miss a chair? 363 00:13:27,225 --> 00:13:29,342 I just want walk up to the hot dog stand out front 364 00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:30,667 and get a fresh wiener. 365 00:13:30,703 --> 00:13:32,824 Oh, man. Why did you say that? Now I want one. 366 00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:34,512 - So you should go get one. - Oh, and let you win? 367 00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:36,188 You're just trying to get us to stand up. 368 00:13:36,224 --> 00:13:38,688 No. We should all go get one... 369 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,879 - in our chairs. - She's right. 370 00:13:40,915 --> 00:13:43,152 The only thing holding us back is society. 371 00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:54,987 Mmm. So good. 372 00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:57,870 I got it. No. 373 00:13:57,926 --> 00:14:00,242 - My ass. - It left the chair. 374 00:14:00,278 --> 00:14:01,877 I'm sorry, man. 375 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:05,293 No. It was my time. 376 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:07,547 It's our time too. 377 00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,159 We've been through hell together. Now we stand together. 378 00:14:11,854 --> 00:14:13,490 Nope. Legs are dead. 379 00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:14,706 Going down. 380 00:14:16,609 --> 00:14:17,868 Charles, what are you doing? 381 00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:19,421 I know having our truck smashed to bits 382 00:14:19,455 --> 00:14:22,354 was a bit of a setback, but don't worry; I have an idea. 383 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:25,233 The truck was deconstructed so we do... 384 00:14:25,956 --> 00:14:27,492 Not have a business anymore? 385 00:14:27,528 --> 00:14:30,086 No. We do deconstructed food. 386 00:14:30,122 --> 00:14:32,537 For instance, a deconstructed meatball sub: 387 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:34,988 a meatball, rolled in breadcrumbs 388 00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:37,524 with a caramelized tomato sauce drizzle. 389 00:14:38,174 --> 00:14:39,557 - Taste it. - Charles, 390 00:14:39,593 --> 00:14:41,782 I appreciate that you're trying to fix this situation, 391 00:14:41,818 --> 00:14:42,998 but you don't have to. 392 00:14:43,034 --> 00:14:44,337 I have great news. 393 00:14:44,373 --> 00:14:45,455 I know who robbed us. 394 00:14:45,491 --> 00:14:47,507 The cartel who did the taco truck murders 395 00:14:47,543 --> 00:14:50,250 ripped apart the truck, because there was heroin still inside it. 396 00:14:50,283 --> 00:14:52,474 We found opioid traces behind the fridge. 397 00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,660 I had forensics scour the truck for DNA 398 00:14:54,696 --> 00:14:57,562 and we got a match: a cartel enforcer. 399 00:14:57,719 --> 00:14:58,920 Do you know what this means? 400 00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,537 The truck becomes a crime scene again. 401 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:03,015 Yes! It's been impounded. We get our money back! 402 00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:05,120 Great. 403 00:15:05,224 --> 00:15:07,094 I'm glad you get your money back. 404 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:10,520 You can invest it in something you actually believe in instead of... 405 00:15:10,556 --> 00:15:12,027 My balls. 406 00:15:12,063 --> 00:15:14,636 Now if you'll excuse me, I have 50 pounds of meat 407 00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:17,104 I have to return before it goes rotten. 408 00:15:18,255 --> 00:15:19,677 Like my dreams. 409 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:25,026 There's Valdano. The watch is transmitting. 410 00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:26,965 All you have to do is lose it to him. 411 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:29,071 - Worst of luck to you. - Don't worry, Terry. 412 00:15:29,107 --> 00:15:31,332 I'm about to crap the bed. 413 00:15:31,686 --> 00:15:34,040 Evening, gentlemen. Ready for some poker? 414 00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:36,711 - That's why we're here. - Good one, stranger. 415 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:38,236 I'll take 150. 416 00:15:38,608 --> 00:15:40,087 Hot damn! 417 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,401 Four queens. 418 00:15:41,437 --> 00:15:44,234 I call this hand the Golden Girls. 419 00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:46,981 Damn it. Oh, you would look at that. 420 00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:49,880 My mom's calling me. She's flipping her lid 421 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,659 because she found all my nudie mags in the basement. 422 00:15:51,695 --> 00:15:53,030 Anyways, BRB. 423 00:15:55,026 --> 00:15:57,712 What happened to not wanting to gamble anymore for Kevin? 424 00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,473 Sir, you are spiraling. You lied straight to our faces. 425 00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:01,625 Well, that's on you. 426 00:16:01,659 --> 00:16:03,950 If you could spot my tell, you would've known. 427 00:16:03,986 --> 00:16:05,193 Fine. What's your tell? 428 00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:06,860 Let's just say, I'm doing it right now. 429 00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,562 I'm doing it at this very moment. 430 00:16:08,598 --> 00:16:10,714 - Is it standing up? - I've just done it again. 431 00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,485 Whoops, there's another time. 432 00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:14,612 I don't understand. Even if you wanted to gamble, 433 00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:16,377 why come here, where we'd be? 434 00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:19,247 I lost some money on lame little Jayla, 435 00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:21,348 and I realized that's because I've been gambling 436 00:16:21,384 --> 00:16:24,793 instead of being down here doing what I'm good at... math. 437 00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:27,267 Now go get Valdano before you blow your covers. 438 00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:30,711 I'm off duty; what I do on my own time is my own business. 439 00:16:30,747 --> 00:16:33,071 Unlike you two who are still on the clock 440 00:16:33,107 --> 00:16:34,694 and are now being bad cops. 441 00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:37,355 Wow, listen to you talking all smooth. 442 00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:39,152 But you can't fool us, sir. 443 00:16:39,189 --> 00:16:40,796 You might as well face it. 444 00:16:40,851 --> 00:16:43,241 You're addicted to math. Robert Palmer. 445 00:16:43,277 --> 00:16:44,764 Come on, Sarge. Let's go. 446 00:16:49,665 --> 00:16:51,435 So you're a cop. 447 00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:55,429 There was a pooper. 448 00:16:56,535 --> 00:16:57,662 Sorry about that. 449 00:16:57,698 --> 00:16:59,942 Crisis averted: I told her I read the magazines 450 00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:01,816 for the articles. She totally bought it. 451 00:17:01,852 --> 00:17:04,418 - Wait a sec, where are you going? - Got called away on business. 452 00:17:04,451 --> 00:17:06,861 Come back next Friday; I'll take your money from you then. 453 00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:11,465 Well, we'll just see about that, Mr. Cool Voice. 454 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,936 His voice is really cool. 455 00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:22,780 So I understand you're a cop 456 00:17:22,816 --> 00:17:24,627 who's trying to bring me down. 457 00:17:24,663 --> 00:17:26,462 Why don't we take a little drive? 458 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:30,337 Why did you stay at the table so long after Valdano was already gone? 459 00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:32,455 It would've been suspicious if I left right after he did, 460 00:17:32,491 --> 00:17:33,835 so I played a couple hands. 461 00:17:33,871 --> 00:17:35,431 Come on, let's grab Holt and get out of here. 462 00:17:35,603 --> 00:17:37,145 Wait. Where's Holt? 463 00:17:38,395 --> 00:17:40,564 So what was your plan, cop? 464 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,768 Does it matter? We failed and now you know we're onto you. 465 00:17:43,804 --> 00:17:45,561 You get to come out ahead tonight, 466 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,726 provided you don't do anything dumb right now. 467 00:17:49,178 --> 00:17:52,467 My colleagues are calling, probably wondering where I am. 468 00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:54,238 Then put their minds at ease. 469 00:17:56,164 --> 00:17:57,334 - Yes? - Captain. 470 00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:58,426 We're leaving. Where are you? 471 00:17:58,459 --> 00:18:00,747 I've already left. I don't enjoy being judged, 472 00:18:00,783 --> 00:18:02,983 so I'm on my way to Atlantic City for the weekend. 473 00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:04,056 I'll be gambling. 474 00:18:04,092 --> 00:18:06,597 No, sir, please just come back, okay? 475 00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:08,175 Terry and I will keep you company. 476 00:18:08,211 --> 00:18:09,392 We'll go to a museum. 477 00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:11,296 One of the boring ones with no dinosaurs. 478 00:18:11,332 --> 00:18:13,168 Forget it. I shouldn't've answered. 479 00:18:18,904 --> 00:18:20,640 Bye-bye "Toxic." 480 00:18:20,676 --> 00:18:22,549 Bye-bye "Party in the USA." 481 00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:23,988 Hey, Charles. What are you doing? 482 00:18:24,024 --> 00:18:26,724 I'm deleting all the upbeat music off my computer. 483 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:27,915 I know you're down, but... 484 00:18:27,951 --> 00:18:29,897 Bye-bye "Swish Swish Bish." 485 00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:32,204 Look, I feel really bad about the way I treated you. 486 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,346 Well, you shouldn't. 487 00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:35,762 You're the only one who saw that my dream was stupid 488 00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:37,316 and then you got me all my money back. 489 00:18:37,352 --> 00:18:40,478 Well, after you left, I tried one of your meatballs 490 00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:41,683 and then another. 491 00:18:41,719 --> 00:18:43,678 And another. I couldn't stop 492 00:18:43,714 --> 00:18:45,754 because they were so damn good. 493 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,317 Really? You liked them? 494 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:50,432 I loved them. I should have tried them earlier. 495 00:18:50,468 --> 00:18:52,440 I lost track of the fact that this whole thing 496 00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:54,806 was supposed to be about your food. 497 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,315 I think we should buy another food truck. 498 00:18:56,351 --> 00:18:57,653 - You do? - Yes. 499 00:18:57,841 --> 00:18:59,502 But I have some conditions: 500 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,839 1, it cannot be a crime scene; 501 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,737 2, you have to get insurance on day one; 502 00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:07,885 3, you have to keep dreaming up amazing things to cook. 503 00:19:08,296 --> 00:19:10,009 You're so good, Boyle. 504 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,189 Deal! We're gonna buy a food truck! 505 00:19:12,225 --> 00:19:14,108 We're gonna get a food truck! Yes! 506 00:19:14,144 --> 00:19:15,637 Stop! 507 00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:18,191 I ate too many meatballs. 508 00:19:18,227 --> 00:19:19,221 Oh. 509 00:19:20,102 --> 00:19:21,982 - Where we going? - Atlantic City. 510 00:19:22,018 --> 00:19:23,653 That's where you told your friends you'd be, 511 00:19:23,689 --> 00:19:25,129 so that's where they'll find your body. 512 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,393 I'm a captain in the NYPD. 513 00:19:27,429 --> 00:19:30,159 Yeah, and you're also a known gambling addict. 514 00:19:30,196 --> 00:19:32,234 You lost all your money in A.C. 515 00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,991 and then drowned yourself in the ocean. 516 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,937 Stay down! 517 00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:41,732 NYPD! Keep your hands on the wheel. 518 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,849 Hey there, Captain Holt. 519 00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:46,526 We just saved your big ol' butt. 520 00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:48,853 Hello, Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 521 00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:51,103 - Guess what. - You're a dick! 522 00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:52,679 Yeah. 523 00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:53,977 How did you find me? 524 00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:56,009 We traced your phone and tracked down the limo. 525 00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:58,518 Wait. How did you even know I was in trouble? 526 00:19:58,554 --> 00:20:00,356 I figured out your tell. 527 00:20:00,427 --> 00:20:03,272 When you're lying, you use contractions. Lots of 'em. 528 00:20:03,308 --> 00:20:05,316 I've lost control. I'm taking myself off the case. 529 00:20:05,352 --> 00:20:08,580 I've just done it again. Whoops. There's another time. 530 00:20:08,616 --> 00:20:10,621 I shouldn't've have answered. Shouldn't've answered. 531 00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:11,759 Shouldn't've... 532 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,731 It was the "shouldn't've" that finally tipped me off. 533 00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:17,356 I've never heard you use a double contraction before. 534 00:20:17,392 --> 00:20:19,541 And you never will again. 535 00:20:20,476 --> 00:20:22,368 I was at rock bottom. 536 00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:25,757 I feel so embarrassed. 537 00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,485 I understand. I've been there. 538 00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:30,133 I once ate a box of uncooked rice in a movie theater. 539 00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:31,417 Wow, really? 540 00:20:31,634 --> 00:20:33,130 - Jake. - I'm sorry. 541 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:36,532 I owe you two a tremendous debt of gratitude. 542 00:20:37,075 --> 00:20:40,650 I was overwhelmed by my addiction and you were there for me. 543 00:20:41,669 --> 00:20:44,324 Of course, sir. We'd do anything for you. 544 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,755 Perhaps you two would take me to a meeting of Gambler's Anonymous. 545 00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:50,319 - Absolutely. - And, Jake, before we go, 546 00:20:51,027 --> 00:20:53,447 - I need to admit one more thing. - Of course, anything. 547 00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:55,247 When I made you tell that table 548 00:20:55,283 --> 00:20:56,632 that you were living in your mother's basement, 549 00:20:56,668 --> 00:20:58,043 it wasn't for the case. 550 00:20:58,079 --> 00:20:59,926 I was just messing with you. 551 00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:02,286 Oh, well played, sir. 552 00:21:02,322 --> 00:21:03,590 But the joke's on you. 553 00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:05,603 My mother has a fantastic basement. 554 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,042 Title of your sex tape. Too soon? 555 00:21:07,078 --> 00:21:08,137 All right, let's go. 556 00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:11,111 Hey, standing desk. 557 00:21:11,147 --> 00:21:12,786 Look who's taking care of herself. 558 00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:15,151 - Someone's not sitting down on the job. - Hey. 559 00:21:16,077 --> 00:21:17,747 Sitting down on the job is damned hard work, 560 00:21:17,783 --> 00:21:19,845 and those heroes prove it every day. 561 00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:21,304 Mad respect. 562 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,738 Okay. Sorry. 563 00:21:25,481 --> 00:21:27,385 Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. 564 00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:28,801 You know, for your hearts. 565 00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:36,119 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com