1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,744 - Attention, squad. 2 00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,137 Put your hands together 3 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:10,053 for the long-anticipated reunion of... 4 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,969 - The DDC! 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:13,970 - DD... - C! 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:14,971 - DD... - C! 7 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:15,972 - Put a J with a G... 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,017 - You get DD... 9 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,975 C! 10 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,150 - Uh, the gas face. 11 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,325 - What the hell is the DDC? 12 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:22,674 - I don't know, but I love it! 13 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,024 - The DDC is the Dope... 14 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,155 - Denim... - Crew. 15 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:26,504 Our 20-year high school reunion 16 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,463 is tonight, and the party is '90s-themed, 17 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,160 so we're dressing the way we did back then, 18 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,206 AKA hella fresh. 19 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,295 - Can't wait to see everyone we graduated with 20 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,166 and lie to them about what I've been up to 21 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,689 for my own amusement. 22 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,866 It's gonna be Fib City, Gina Clooney. 23 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,085 - But Jake, how can you be excited 24 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695 to return to your high school, 25 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,349 the scene of... Tattlegate? 26 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,742 - What's Tattlegate? Why haven't I heard 27 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,831 anything about it? - It was junior year 28 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,398 and Jake was riding high— 29 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,183 - Charles, no one wants to hear this story... 30 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,184 from you. 31 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,185 It was junior year, 32 00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,187 and Jake was riding high. 33 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,276 Sophomore year was rough, but now I was back 34 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,887 with a hot new look: an earring and long hair. 35 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,541 - Which was my look, and he just copied it. 36 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,543 - And it worked! I was finally cool, 37 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,154 and becoming friends with the most popular kid 38 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,286 in school: Brandon Bliss. 39 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,158 - Dope name; sounds hot. - He was hot, Rosa. 40 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,029 - For the record, he could barely read. 41 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,552 - He didn't have to read, Gina. 42 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,206 He lost his virginity when he was 12 years old. 43 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,816 - Which is horrifying. 44 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,079 - But it wasn't back then! 45 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,342 Back then, it was... everything. 46 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,213 He asked me to ditch class one day with him 47 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,562 and his buddies, steal a school van, 48 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:26,173 and go get drunk at his parents' cabin, 49 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,739 but the day before we were supposed to go, 50 00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,351 someone ratted Brandon out, and he got suspended! 51 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,917 He thought I was the one who told, 52 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,267 and from that day forward, 53 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,443 everyone called me "The Tattler." 54 00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,140 - Tattler. It's a sexy nickname. 55 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,402 - It was not a sexy nickname! 56 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,925 It was a scarlet letter, 57 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,058 and it ruined my senior year, 58 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,756 but luckily, I'm over all that now. 59 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,757 - Not me. I'm gonna go 60 00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,063 to this reunion tonight 61 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,586 and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole. 62 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,501 - Horrifying, but that won't be necessary, Charles, 63 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,286 for my awesome life will do the butthole-kicking this eve. 64 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,418 I've got a sweet job, and a super-smart, 65 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,159 incredible wife. Tonight's gonna be awesome. 66 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,334 Right, Gina? - Damn straight! 67 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:58,814 - DD... - C! 68 00:01:58,857 --> 00:01:59,902 - DD... - C! 69 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:00,903 - DD... - C! 70 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,839 - Wow, this place hasn't changed 71 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,536 one bit in 20 years. 72 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,799 It's a real indictment of the public school system. 73 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,279 - Jake! Tina! 74 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,412 - No way! Mikey J! 75 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:32,935 Amy, this is Mike Joseph, 76 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:36,547 AKA the lead funk bassist from my legendary ska band, 77 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:39,768 Skalvester Skallone. We had one song. 78 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,602 - Whoa! - Hey, man. 79 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,081 We were so bad. I can't believe 80 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,300 we thought we were gonna make it. 81 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,041 So what have you been up to, man? 82 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,304 - Well, I'm still trying to get the music thing started. 83 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,871 - Oh, cool, cool, cool. Never give up. 84 00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:58,308 - Anyway, how are you, Gina? What have you been up to? 85 00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,180 - Nothing crazy. Yeah, just writing 86 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,094 those "Thor" movies. - Seriously? 87 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,835 Oh, my God. Tell me everything. 88 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,186 - Legally, I can't get into it too much, 89 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,448 but just know that the next one 90 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,971 will have a lot more full frontal. 91 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,843 - Well, if you need some ska for your soundtrack... 92 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,105 - Oh! 93 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,194 This is them. This is Marvel. 94 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,673 They probably want to talk 95 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,415 about "Thor 4: More Thor." I gotta take this. 96 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,503 Okay? - All right. 97 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,157 So how you doing, Jake? 98 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,986 I know the end of high school was a little... rough. 99 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,596 - Oh, uh... 100 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,033 - Jake's killing it now. He's a detective. 101 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,819 - Irie, mon! Irie, irie! 102 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:31,994 Very nice. 103 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,126 God, you must have some crazy stories. 104 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,302 - Oh, I don't know. I mean, 105 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,433 is successfully negotiating 106 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:37,913 a high-tension hostage situation 107 00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,523 in a bank crazy? 108 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,568 - Yes! 109 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,960 - Oh, well, then, I guess I do have 110 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,701 some crazy stories, mon! 111 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,313 - Gosh, it's so cool 112 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:47,836 how we all still dress the same. 113 00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,535 - Is it so much to ask? You know what I'm saying? 114 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,233 - Why is everyone gathered around the radio? 115 00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,495 Ooh, are they testing 116 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:55,496 the emergency broadcasting system? 117 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,019 - What? No. 118 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,412 We're listening to a contest. 119 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,240 - This is 93.7, 120 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,632 The Jamhouse, with... 121 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,547 JC and the Horndog! 122 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:05,941 - FM radio... 123 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,073 - Yeah, the hosts are beyond disgusting, 124 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,772 but they do a fun game where they play a mystery sound 125 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,643 and callers guess what it is for a cash prize. 126 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,515 - Shh, they're about to play the new sound! 127 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,606 - It's a crinkle. I solved it. 128 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,911 - Yes, but you have to know what object 129 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:21,304 is making the crinkle. 130 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,436 - But that's impossible. It could be anything. 131 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,741 - Yes, sir. That's the game. 132 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:24,960 - It's a bag of potato chips. 133 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,048 - Don't be an idiot! 134 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,397 It's a bag of corn chips. 135 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,746 - Well, this is a total waste of time. 136 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,574 - Sure, but you can still have fun, 137 00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,359 even if you're wasting time. - That's absurd. 138 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,317 Productivity is what makes things fun. 139 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,928 That's why humans go to work. 140 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,190 - It is? 141 00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,670 - Hey. So you know 142 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,150 how Alicia and I broke up because she moved to London, 143 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,586 then we tried to make it work, 144 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:43,935 but the distance was too much and we broke up again? 145 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,459 - No. The last thing you told me 146 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:46,721 about yourself was that you were bi. 147 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,113 - Well, a lot has happened since then. 148 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,245 Anyway, I'm dating two other people. 149 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,377 - So much juice at one time. 150 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,508 I'm drowning. 151 00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:52,509 - Oh, gross. Charles, this is why 152 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,597 I don't tell you anything. 153 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,120 - I take it back. - Okay. 154 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,426 Well, it's early stages, but they both tagged me 155 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:57,645 in a bunch of photos online, 156 00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,037 and they found out about each other. 157 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,474 - Yikes. - Yeah, I know. 158 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,127 I shouldn't 'gram so much, but my brunch friends say 159 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,520 it's the only way to promote my handmade jewelry line. 160 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:04,782 - Brunch? What? 161 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,436 Homemade—who— - Charles, focus. 162 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,698 Anyway, they're both annoyed, 163 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,178 and now I have to choose one of them, 164 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,614 and I cannot make up my mind. 165 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,094 It's insane. I never have trouble 166 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,617 making decisions. 167 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,358 - Ugh. Choose the daughter. 168 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,925 I always know exactly what to do, 169 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,883 but for the first time in my life, I am stumped. 170 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,885 - Rosa, you've come to the right man. 171 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,757 Boyles are genetically indecisive beings. 172 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,585 - So I chose the worst possible person to help me? 173 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,064 - No. We've developed 174 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,805 a foolproof system to help us make choices. 175 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,633 It used to take me so long to decide what to wear 176 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,374 that I'd never change my clothes. 177 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:32,984 Now look what I have on. 178 00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,160 - Is this different than what you were wearing yesterday? 179 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:36,379 - Barely. 180 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,468 - Wow, your life sounds amazing. 181 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,078 I'm really happy it worked out for you, 182 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,342 you know, especially with the whole Tattler thing. 183 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,779 - What? The Tattler? Wow. 184 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,389 I haven't heard that in a long time. 185 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,738 Who even was the Tattler? 186 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,174 - You. That's why I'm bringing it up. 187 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,480 - Oh, right, I remember now 188 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:51,786 that I was misidentified as the Tattler. 189 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,353 That's so funny. But I wasn't the Tattler, 190 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,658 so I'm pretty sure you got this wrong. 191 00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,399 - No, no, no, I think I go—hey, Eric. 192 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,793 Didn't people call Jake the Tattler? 193 00:05:58,836 --> 00:05:59,837 - Oh, yeah! 194 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,014 Oh, good, more people are getting involved. 195 00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,539 - After my initial design, they said it couldn't be done. 196 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,367 They said it was too tall, too flashy— 197 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,064 building codes, bureaucracy. 198 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:12,197 Cut to the Freedom Tower as you see it today. 199 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,373 - Wow. 200 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,418 - Thank you. Yeah, I agree. 201 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,724 - Look, nobody cares about that stuff. 202 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,203 We're all adults now. 203 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,249 You're a cop. I work at a coffin factory. 204 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,512 I'm not sitting around, thinking about how you tattled. 205 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,035 - Yes, we all have jobs and work on coffins. 206 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,428 I didn't tattle, but whatevs. We don't have to keep 207 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,429 talking about it. 208 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,040 Great. 209 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,520 - But you were the Tattler, right? 210 00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:31,826 - Brandon Bliss was my friend! 211 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,436 Why would I tattle on my friend? 212 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,438 The nickname was inaccurate, is all I'm saying. 213 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,700 Anyways, as you can tell, 214 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,354 I am totally over it. 215 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,225 - Ah, man, it's the Tattler. 216 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,226 - I didn't tattle! 217 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,577 So... 218 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,579 I think I might not be over it. 219 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,974 - Ugh, this is so unfair. 220 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,280 Everyone remembers me as the Tattler, 221 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,803 but somehow, no one remembers 222 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,283 that Darren "Doo Doo" Donaldson 223 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,763 crapped himself during PE. 224 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:56,894 Look at him out there, 225 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,243 dancing on the dance floor 226 00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,984 like he's lived a doo doo-free life. 227 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,508 - Jake, this isn't so bad. 228 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,553 History is full of great tattlers. 229 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,816 Martin Luther King tattled on racists. 230 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,991 - That's a pretty undercutting way 231 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:08,297 of describing his accomplishments. 232 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,994 - I was trying to help. It felt bad. 233 00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:11,387 - It's not even the nickname that bothers me. 234 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,693 It's that I'm being wrongfully accused. 235 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,477 I didn't tattle. I mean, if it was the truth, 236 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,392 go ahead and call me the Tattler all day long. 237 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,134 - Hey, Tattler. - Not cool, Jason! 238 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,614 Let's just go home. 239 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:22,180 - No! We're not going anywhere. 240 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,356 You were wrongfully accused. We're cops. 241 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,184 Let's just find the real Tattler 242 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,490 and prove your innocence. 243 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:28,491 - Yes! I love it! 244 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,361 Why learn to grow 245 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,015 when you can fix the past? 246 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,800 This is exactly why I don't need therapy. 247 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,105 - Not sure that's the lesson 248 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:35,193 I want you to take away from this. 249 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,499 - Too late! We're gonna prove 250 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,631 I wasn't the Tattler. Therapy is a scam. 251 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:38,632 Let's do this. 252 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,677 - No. 253 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,505 The sound was more of a "khh." 254 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,028 - Ooh, how goes the crinkle hunt? 255 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,900 I see you're not just wasting time. 256 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,902 You're also wasting tin. 257 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,165 - It was only one piece. 258 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,037 Okay, it was a ton of tin. 259 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,386 - Pretty sure it's a guy eating a sandwich. 260 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,779 I'll prove it to you. 261 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,564 - I'm not buying you any more sandwiches, Scully. 262 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,390 - I'm doing this for us! 263 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,088 - Guys, we can't fight. 264 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,655 That's what the Horndog wants. 265 00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,004 - We're getting close. We just need 266 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,222 to keep testing more things. 267 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,181 - Oh, that's a good idea. 268 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:09,619 Have you tried a piece of paper? 269 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:10,620 Is that your crinkle? 270 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,361 Ooh, maybe—oh. 271 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:15,190 Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans. 272 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,192 - All right, sir. I think you've made your point. 273 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,933 - My point? Oh, I'm just trying to have fun 274 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,412 by wasting time. 275 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:23,198 Oh, maybe it's this crinkly-crunkly yogurt. 276 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,115 - Terry heard a crinkle. 277 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,595 - Holt heard a crinkle, too. 278 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,422 - So suddenly, it's not a waste of time? 279 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,990 - Not a waste of time if we win! 280 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,644 What are you waiting for, Jeffords? 281 00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:36,385 Call the Horndog! 282 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:37,995 - So then I said to Steve, 283 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,084 "What if we drop the '-lications,' 284 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,695 just call them 'apps'?" 285 00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,566 - That's incredible. 286 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,525 Do you miss him? - Oh, every day, Laura. 287 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,917 Every day. - You should talk 288 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,440 to Quentin Chase. He's a big-time 289 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,703 Silicon Valley investor now, 290 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:50,965 and he was just telling me all about it. 291 00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,096 Quentin, come here. 292 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,533 You have got to talk to Gina. 293 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,317 She basically invented apps. 294 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,058 They were going to be called "lications." 295 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,276 - You really bungled that. 296 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,495 - What you been working on? 297 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,236 - Currently, I have been working 298 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,586 on an app called Toddler. 299 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,893 It's like Tinder, but for toddlers. 300 00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,242 Tinder for toddlers. 301 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,896 - I like it. How are you gonna spell that? 302 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,071 How many D's? 303 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,073 - Five. 304 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,466 - All right, we should start by talking to Brandon Bliss 305 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,425 and find out who told him you were the Tattler. 306 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:17,905 - Unfortunately, Bliss is not here. 307 00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:20,516 Probably in the VIP section at a Fatboy Slim concert. 308 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,431 - Would that be cool for a 37-year-old? 309 00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,085 - The funk soul brother is timeless, Ames. 310 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,261 All right, I don't know who told Brandon, 311 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,784 but I heard it was someone on the football team. 312 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,699 - Okay, well, we need more information than that, 313 00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,658 so take me back to the day. Spare no details. 314 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,963 - Okay, I saw Brandon 315 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,617 after second period, and everything seemed tight. 316 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,405 - But then, when I saw him after third period... 317 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,407 something had clearly changed. 318 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,587 - After that, there was 319 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,240 little color left in the world for young Jake. 320 00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:52,896 My earring, less gold, my JNCO jeans less purple. 321 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,768 - Are you sure you were becoming cool? 322 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:55,812 - Yeah. Why? 323 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,292 - I know how to solve this. 324 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,554 We just have to find out which football player 325 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,034 had third period with Brandon Bliss. 326 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,339 We need his class schedule. 327 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,645 - Yeah, but where are we gonna find that? 328 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,473 - In the coolest room in the school. 329 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,477 - Good lord! 330 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,913 You coulda just picked the lock. 331 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,132 - I know. I'm sorry. 332 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,003 I'm just so amped up about Admin. 333 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:16,137 - Okay, this is the Boyle decision-making manual. 334 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,617 One of these sections will help you 335 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,096 with choosing your partner. 336 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,315 Here we go. What do you prefer, 337 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,925 eyes or butt, brains or body? 338 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,318 - Brains. - Uh... 339 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,493 Sorry, no, that's for deciding lunch. 340 00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:25,712 - Horrifying. - Oh, I found 341 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:26,800 the romance section. 342 00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,584 Now, first, I will need the names 343 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,499 of the two people you're choosing between. 344 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,283 - I will not be telling you any information about them. 345 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:33,676 - No problem. We can work with that. 346 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,504 I will just call them by their initials. 347 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,766 - No. - I will call them 348 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,507 "Couscous" and "Quinoa." - Whatever. 349 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:39,943 - Okay, now, for this to work right, you need 350 00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:41,336 to answer these questions without thinking. 351 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,685 Who makes you laugh more? - Quinoa. 352 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,078 - Who has softer lips? - Couscous. 353 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,514 - A new Cirque du Soleil's in town. 354 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,907 You have the two best seats in the house. 355 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,299 Who are you bringing? - Is this a reward 356 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,518 or a punishment? - You decide. 357 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:50,606 - Quinoa. - Great. Next question: 358 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,651 You die and become a ghost. 359 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:52,956 The rules of the afterlife 360 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,349 are that of the movie "Casper." 361 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,698 Whose house would you rather haunt? 362 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,047 - How many more of these questions are there? 363 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,353 - 309. 364 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,746 - Okay, I've got something. - Oh. 365 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,661 That's not Brandon's profile. It's mine. 366 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,010 - I just want a quick peek at your attendance record. 367 00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,141 Zero absences. 368 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,361 Oh, mama... 369 00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:07,536 Printing this for later. 370 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,146 - Keep it in your pants, Santiago. 371 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,974 - Oh, that's exactly where it's going. 372 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,543 Okay, here's Brandon's info. 373 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,023 Third period, first semester... 374 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,720 Any of these people on the football team? 375 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,288 Scott Alford, Taylor Black— wow, Tom Brady? 376 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,116 - Different Tom Brady. He was in theater. 377 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,465 Although he was the MVP 378 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,596 of that year's production of "Fiddler." 379 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,859 - Hm. - Wait a minute. 380 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,251 Danny Matthews. That's the guy. 381 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,557 He was on the football team. 382 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,819 That's the bastard who set me up. 383 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,821 - Yeah, and look at this. 384 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,041 You did so much community service. 385 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,738 Me like-y. 386 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,656 - Guys, you know how I thought it would be so much fun 387 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,875 to lie to everyone tonight? 388 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,528 - Yeah. Did it finally catch up with you? 389 00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,747 - No, the opposite. Someone wants to buy 390 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,096 a company I made up on the spot. 391 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,532 The elevator pitch had him drooling. 392 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,317 As a mother, I'm always struggling 393 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,797 to find quality playdates. 394 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,669 Most two-year-olds are boring, lame duds. 395 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,497 - All of my daughter's friends suck. 396 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,065 - Well, with Todddddler's proprietary algorithm, 397 00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,720 you will be matched with top tots, 398 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:01,895 and those boring duds— 399 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,331 they'll stay where they belong: 400 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:06,987 the hell away from you and your family. 401 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,163 I'm not really sure how to close this. 402 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,165 Maybe you guys could pretend to be heirs 403 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,734 to a canned-goods fortune who want to buy my company! 404 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,387 - Gina, we don't have time for your thing right now. 405 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,215 - Oh, smart. Big-time him. 406 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,608 That's the perfect idea. 407 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:20,957 I won't forget you when I'm rich. 408 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,654 Thanks so much, Jake and Jake's wife. 409 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,047 - She knows your name. Oh, look! 410 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,614 It's Danny Matthews! But he'll never talk 411 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:26,963 with all these people around. 412 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,573 - Not a problem. Just be in the science lab 413 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,227 in ten minutes. I'll get him alone. 414 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,359 - What are you gonna do? 415 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,447 - Let's just say I'm not above 416 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,927 using my feminine wiles. 417 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,537 Danny Matthews, I'm with the school. 418 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:36,843 You need to follow me right now. 419 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:40,498 - Is everything— - I said now, mister. 420 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:41,804 - I'm one caller away. 421 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,110 I can't believe we figured it out. 422 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,155 - And I can't believe it took you this long. 423 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,244 Yogurt is literally your one thing. 424 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:49,116 - Okay, okay. - Well, I'm just saying. 425 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,031 If the sound were eating damp rice, 426 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,772 I would've gotten it immediately. 427 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,164 - Guys, they're taking another guess. 428 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,862 - All right, Brenda from Yonkers. 429 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,777 It's time for you to name that sound. 430 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,213 - Hi. Quick shout-out 431 00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,041 to the nurses at United Pediatric. 432 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,651 This money'll do those kids a lot of good. 433 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,174 - Cry me a river. Brenda from Yonkers. 434 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,481 We've all had budget cuts. Just take your guess. 435 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:07,787 - Is it Styrofoam? 436 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,353 - Wrong! 437 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,616 - Oh, I can't believe she guessed Styrofoam. 438 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,401 What a dumb nurse. 439 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,272 - Next caller, you're on with the Horndog. 440 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,273 - It's me! 441 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,536 The sound is a yogurt 442 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,842 being opened. 443 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,889 - That is... 444 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,194 Wrong! 445 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,413 - What? No! 446 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,415 - You b-b-b-blew it! 447 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,634 - Damn you, Horndog. 448 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,245 - Okay, I have tabulated your responses, 449 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,073 and the results are definitive. 450 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:35,205 - Amazing. - It's a dead tie. 451 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,685 - This is dumb. I'm just gonna end it 452 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:37,817 with both of them. - Rosa, stop. 453 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:38,948 There is one more method. 454 00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:40,907 Ancient Boyles believed 455 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,648 that suspending yourself by your feet forces your blood 456 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,389 to the decision center of your brain. 457 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:49,437 We call this method the "Upside-Down Coward." 458 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,091 - You want me to hang from the ceiling like a bat? 459 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,962 - The bat is nature's most decisive animal. 460 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,616 - The creature that flails around frantically? 461 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:55,835 - Those are all micro-decisions. 462 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,314 Now, let's get you strapped up. 463 00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,490 How do you feel? 464 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:00,622 - Nauseous. 465 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,667 - Good. It's working. 466 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:03,886 - Q? - Yeah. 467 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:04,887 - Get off the phone. 468 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,019 Now, I'm not sure 469 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,455 how serious you were about funding, 470 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:11,067 but I should tell you there's 103 other bidders. 471 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,156 - Oof, I am not a fan of getting into bidding wars. 472 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,811 - Then don't make an offer, 'cause I want babies on my app, 473 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,639 but not in my boardroom. 474 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:18,858 Oh, damn, Gina. 475 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,511 - Did you just "oh, damn" yourself? 476 00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:21,599 - Someone had to. 477 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,688 - Okay. 478 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,212 Let's talk numbers. 479 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,083 - Mr. Peralta, I believe you know Danny Matthews. 480 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,868 - Jake. Hey, what's going on, man? 481 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,086 - The answer to that question 482 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:33,046 goes back to a brisk day in 1997, 483 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,483 a day you told a lie. 484 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:38,616 But the lying stops right now! 485 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,183 Oh, no! 486 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:41,881 You broke some poor kid's science project! 487 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,186 We have to fix it. 488 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,535 - Kind of in the middle of something. 489 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,754 - Oh, you know what? Krebs cycle. 490 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,755 I got this. 491 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,583 - Great. So, Danny, 492 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:49,714 true or false? 493 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,020 You were on the football team. 494 00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:52,761 - True? - And true or false: 495 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,850 you had third period with Brandon Bliss. 496 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,199 - Mm, I honestly don't remember— 497 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,592 - It was true! We checked the records, 498 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,072 and I have one more question. 499 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,900 - Ooh, Jake, can you get me that oxygen on the floor? 500 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,336 Little red guy. - What? 501 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,337 - Sorry. You know what? 502 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,773 Yeah, I'll get it. 503 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:05,992 - Why did you tell Brandon Bliss 504 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,471 that I was the Tattler? 505 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,082 - Because you were. I saw you talking to principal. 506 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,344 I remember it, clear as day. 507 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,911 - Look, you couldn't have seen me, 508 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,477 because I wasn't there. I didn't tattle. 509 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,218 - Man, it was you, okay? 510 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,264 You had your long hair and your little earring, 511 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,832 and the denim jacket you are literally wearing right now. 512 00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,573 - Oh, no. 513 00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,662 It wasn't me, 514 00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,751 but it was the DDC. 515 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,188 Gina. 516 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,799 - Jake, guess who just sold her app idea. 517 00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:31,974 - Don't trust her. 518 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,454 Everything she's told you is a lie. 519 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,977 She made up the company and everything else. 520 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,196 She's a liar. 521 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,806 - Jake, whatever strategy this is 522 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,634 is not necessary. I already closed the deal. 523 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,419 - I know you were the Tattler. 524 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,903 - Amy, I'm ready to go. 525 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,991 - Yep, totally. 526 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,340 I'm almost done with this project, 527 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,820 but I don't need to finish it, 528 00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:52,995 because what matters 529 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,997 is that you are going through something, 530 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,782 and as your wife, and love of your life— 531 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,480 - Are you vamping so you can finish that? 532 00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:00,872 - I only have two molecules left. 533 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,092 Come on, man. - Jake, we need to talk. 534 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,789 - Yeah, you guys do need to talk. 535 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,575 That sounds excellent. Friendship, so much history... 536 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,316 I'm just gonna get this out of your way. 537 00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,274 - Oh, man. 538 00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:12,623 What the hell, Gina? 539 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,625 You ruined my entire senior year. 540 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:15,975 How could you do that to me? 541 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,411 - Jake, I was only trying to help. 542 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,978 You were hanging out with those guys 543 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,849 and getting close, and they weren't good people. 544 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,807 Do you know why Brandon wasn't at the reunion tonight? 545 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,244 - I don't know. Probably 'cause he was shooting 546 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,549 a beer commercial where the whole plot 547 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:26,986 was that everyone wanted to sleep with him. 548 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,552 - No, 'cause he's on parole. 549 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,641 He's not allowed to leave the state of Delaware. 550 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,469 - Oh, okay, so that's obviously a bummer, 551 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,993 but I wasn't gonna end up like him. 552 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,124 - You were starting to. You wanted 553 00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,430 to steal a van with him, 554 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,692 and I told you not to, 555 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,215 and you weren't listening to me. 556 00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,825 I mean, what would've happened if you got caught? 557 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,001 - I don't know. 558 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,567 - You would never have become a cop. 559 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,569 Yeah, I'm the reason you're a cop. 560 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:47,180 I'm your origin story, dude. 561 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,790 You can't be mad at me. 562 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,357 - I feel like I'm still pretty mad. 563 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,185 - Peter Parker wasn't mad at his spider. 564 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,143 - Yeah, but they weren't best friends before the bite, 565 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,058 and it still doesn't explain how you let everyone think 566 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,929 I was the Tattler for 20 years. 567 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,931 - Well, I didn't want to lose our friendship. 568 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,237 I was being weak. 569 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,500 I'm sorry. 570 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,328 - Okay. 571 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,808 - And if it makes you feel any better, 572 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:09,071 that app thing completely blew up in my face. 573 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,030 I mean, my night sucked. 574 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,814 Okay, I can see from your expression 575 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,468 that your night was worse, 576 00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,123 and I should've left it at "sorry." 577 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,515 - So did you hear? 578 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,603 Someone guessed the sound. 579 00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,040 It was a bag of chips. 580 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,345 - Wow. So the lesson here 581 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,999 is to listen to Hitchcock and Scully more? 582 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,348 - No, that can't be possible. - Yeah, I don't think 583 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,915 we earned that today. - Agreed. 584 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,699 - Sorry for dragging you into that dumb game. 585 00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,919 You were right. It was a waste of time. 586 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,355 - No, it wasn't. 587 00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,009 Even though it was pointless, I did enjoy myself. 588 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,142 I can't wait to go home and tell Kevin 589 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,058 you can have fun without being productive. 590 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:42,104 - Hey, guys, they're about to play the new mystery sound. 591 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,410 - I can tell Kevin tomorrow. 592 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,715 - I'll bet Sharon's already asleep. 593 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,413 - And I've got no one in my life. 594 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,937 - Scully, play that damn noise. 595 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,070 - Quentin, can I talk to you for a minute? 596 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,810 - Are you here to give me a long speech 597 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,377 about how you still deserve my money? 598 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:55,422 - No. 599 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:56,640 I am. 600 00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,077 - Very cool entrance. 601 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,426 - Thank you. Listen. 602 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,341 Gina Linetti is not a perfect person. 603 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:02,516 - Mm, I'm hoping this gets more supportive 604 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,821 as it goes along. 605 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,214 - But what she lacks in perfection, 606 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,781 she makes up for 607 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,478 with an utter and total belief that she is perfect. 608 00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:09,827 - Ooh, you said "but," and then you said 609 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,655 something worse. - She is fiercely loyal. 610 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,223 She will do the right thing for you 611 00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,573 even when you can't see it for yourself, 612 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,489 and she's saved my ass countless times. 613 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,751 - And it's been 12. I counted. 614 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,231 - She came up with an idea on the spot 615 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,711 that you were interested in. 616 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,105 Imagine what she could do with time and resources. 617 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,019 Do the world a favor. 618 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,326 Invest in Gina Linetti. 619 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,418 - Hard pass. 620 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,290 - What? - But my great speech. 621 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,595 - Yeah, the speech was great, 622 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,294 but I've also been lying the whole night. 623 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:42,730 I'm not a tech mogul. 624 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,079 I came here to mess with people. 625 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,950 - How dare you? - Speaking of which, 626 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,909 did either one of you drive? 'Cause I could use a ride. 627 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:50,172 - No, Quentin. - Oh, Quentin. 628 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,696 - Okay. 629 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,002 Now open your eyes, 630 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,265 and the person you are meant to be with 631 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,442 should appear before you. 632 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,489 - Sorry. I was just watching. 633 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,839 - Get out of here, Hitchcock! 634 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:05,622 Ugh. 635 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:06,841 - This isn't working. 636 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,277 I'm no closer to making a decision. 637 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,583 I'm jumping down. 638 00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,150 - Well, you can't just jump down. 639 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,587 My goodness! - It's over. 640 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:14,762 I'm gonna put 'em both in a group text 641 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:15,893 and say "peace out." - Uh, no! 642 00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,199 There's still more options. 643 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,592 We haven't even done roleplay yet. 644 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,159 - What? 645 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,334 Ugh. 646 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,465 I took too long getting back to Quinoa 647 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,727 and they got mad and ended it. 648 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,294 - And that's how it's done. 649 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,166 - What are you talking about? - The process worked. 650 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,645 Boyles don't make decisions. 651 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:29,994 We delay our decisions 652 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,692 until the universe makes them for us. 653 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,868 That way, we never make a wrong choice. 654 00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:36,044 - That is very sad, but also, I guess it worked. 655 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,437 - Mm-hmm. - I do feel pretty good. 656 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,003 Couscous is dope. She's funny. 657 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,614 - Couscous is a she! I knew it! 658 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,616 - Did you? - No, and I still don't know. 659 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,660 There's equal chance you called them "she" 660 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:44,661 to throw me off. 661 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,838 - You get me, Boyle. 662 00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:51,059 - So I think I figured out an awesome and dramatic way 663 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,409 to reveal that I was the Tattler. 664 00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,194 It'll be a dance. There'll be costumes. 665 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,674 - Gina, it's fine. I don't care anymore. 666 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,676 It's all in the past. - Oh, thank God. 667 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,200 That is such a relief, 668 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,463 'cause I didn't want people thinking I was a tattler. 669 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,378 Where's Amy? 670 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,640 - She is in the library, writing 671 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,989 a book report on "Jane Eyre," 672 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,513 and she told me "not to wait up." 673 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:11,688 - Oy. - Yeah. 674 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,735 - Thanks for trying to help with Quentin. 675 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,258 It's funny. Even though it wasn't real, 676 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:19,305 it was so fun, imagining running my own company. 677 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:20,567 - So why don't your pursue it? 678 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,699 - I can't raise my kid and create an app 679 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:24,310 and work at the Nine-Nine. It's too much. 680 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:26,529 - Well, then prepare for me to murder your parents 681 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:27,617 right in front of your face. 682 00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:28,836 - Rude. - No. 683 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,403 It's Batman's origin story, 684 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:32,318 like the radioactive spider thing you did with me. 685 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,884 - I don't read comic books. 686 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,626 - You helped me become who I am, 687 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,324 so now I'm gonna return the favor. 688 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,023 Gina... 689 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,981 I think your talents might be wasted at the Nine-Nine. 690 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,723 I love you, but it might be time for you to move on. 691 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,377 - Um, are you firing me? 692 00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,378 - What? No. I don't think 693 00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:50,379 I could even do that. 694 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:51,685 - Good, because I quit. 695 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,164 You know, tonight I realized 696 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,557 that my talents 697 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,080 are being wasted at the Nine-Nine. 698 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,995 - Okay, that's kind of exactly what I just said. 699 00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:01,260 - Jake, let me finish. This is serious. 700 00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,305 It's time for me to move on. 701 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,307 For real, though, it is. 702 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,308 - Really? 703 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,314 Okay. 704 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:13,968 - Proud of you. 705 00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,143 - Thank you. 706 00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,405 I'm proud of me, too. 707 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:19,234 - Guys! 708 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,540 Vice principal caught me in the library. 709 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,411 Let's roll! 710 00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,413 - Not a doctor. Shh. 711 00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:26,415 - Fremulon.