1 00:00:01,896 --> 00:00:03,508 Peralta, looks like an old friend of yours 2 00:00:03,552 --> 00:00:05,139 - is back in town. - Who? 3 00:00:05,175 --> 00:00:07,386 That guy Neil that you bunked with at sleepaway camp? 4 00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:09,064 Oh, Neil from camp was the best. 5 00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,188 He could pick up a milk carton with his butt cheeks. 6 00:00:11,224 --> 00:00:12,256 He was so funny. 7 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,171 You know who else was funny? Bill Cosby. 8 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,422 Charles, will you relax? You're gonna love Neil. 9 00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:17,982 It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil? 10 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,134 - It's Doug Judy. - Oh, right. 11 00:00:20,177 --> 00:00:22,175 Someone we all know in a police capacity. 12 00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:23,267 That makes more sense. 13 00:00:23,311 --> 00:00:25,617 Someone's using his signature move to steal cars, 14 00:00:25,653 --> 00:00:27,153 plugging in to the OBD port 15 00:00:27,189 --> 00:00:28,925 and reprogramming the immobilizer module. 16 00:00:28,969 --> 00:00:30,615 That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him. 17 00:00:30,651 --> 00:00:32,202 - He told me he went legit. - That's what he told you 18 00:00:32,238 --> 00:00:34,107 last time too, before he screwed you over. 19 00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:35,979 Yeah, but he returned the diamonds to me eventually, 20 00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:37,228 and it turned out that was the only way 21 00:00:37,264 --> 00:00:38,768 to get Giggle Pig off the streets. 22 00:00:38,804 --> 00:00:41,024 Wait, I may be confusing our adventures. What year was the cruise? 23 00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,960 Dude's a criminal. People don't change. 24 00:00:42,996 --> 00:00:44,735 Ever heard of Bruce Banner, the Incredible Hulk? 25 00:00:44,771 --> 00:00:46,101 You might want to talk to his shirts and pants 26 00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:47,345 about people not changing. 27 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,973 Well, I want to ask Doug Judy some questions. 28 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,254 - You have his number? - I always make contact through his mom. 29 00:00:53,297 --> 00:00:54,908 I'll put you in touch with her, but remember, 30 00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:57,376 she thinks I'm his assistant Mangy Carl, 31 00:00:57,412 --> 00:00:59,128 and he's a famous architect who's designing 32 00:00:59,164 --> 00:01:01,296 LeBron James' new school for black astronauts. 33 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:04,384 Hello, Mrs. Judy? 34 00:01:05,005 --> 00:01:07,181 I'm looking for your son, the architect. 35 00:01:07,224 --> 00:01:09,661 Yes, I'm from... black NASA. 36 00:01:09,705 --> 00:01:10,662 Is that a thing? 37 00:01:10,706 --> 00:01:13,056 Oh, my. I didn't know. 38 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,971 I understand. Good-bye. 39 00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:19,308 So Doug Judy will not be coming in. 40 00:01:19,344 --> 00:01:20,302 What? Why not? 41 00:01:20,362 --> 00:01:21,978 Oh, I see. 42 00:01:22,303 --> 00:01:23,458 He is dead. 43 00:01:43,773 --> 00:01:46,697 Wow, I don't know how to deal with all these emotions, Terry. 44 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:48,462 No one I've been close with has ever died before. 45 00:01:48,498 --> 00:01:51,485 No tragic accidents to friends. All my grandparents are alive. 46 00:01:51,521 --> 00:01:52,816 How did you deal when Hodor died? 47 00:01:52,852 --> 00:01:55,272 Not well, Terry. Why would you bring that up? 48 00:01:55,537 --> 00:01:57,492 Carl? Mangy Carl? 49 00:01:57,755 --> 00:01:59,801 Yes. That is me. 50 00:01:59,837 --> 00:02:01,842 I'm Trudy Judy, Doug's sister. 51 00:02:01,878 --> 00:02:03,193 This is our aunt Patrice. 52 00:02:03,237 --> 00:02:04,773 I'm so glad you could make it. 53 00:02:04,809 --> 00:02:06,360 Doug really loved you. 54 00:02:06,396 --> 00:02:09,330 - Oh, he talked about me? - Oh, all the time. 55 00:02:09,373 --> 00:02:12,289 He was so afraid he'd fall back into your old life. 56 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,423 Doug made Mangy Carl an assistant at the architecture firm. 57 00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:17,593 He rescued him from a life on the streets. 58 00:02:17,634 --> 00:02:20,572 Yeah, I was down on my luck, not a penny to my name. 59 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,744 - You were selling your body for money. - Did Doug tell you that? 60 00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:24,127 He said all your teeth fell out, 61 00:02:24,171 --> 00:02:25,650 and your mouth was just a rotten hole. 62 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:27,478 100% accurate. 63 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,798 Plus you were sick from those back-alley butt implants. 64 00:02:29,834 --> 00:02:31,893 - Had to have 'em. - Carl thought a plumper rump 65 00:02:31,929 --> 00:02:34,042 would help him get his every night. 66 00:02:34,078 --> 00:02:35,733 Yeah, I remember having that thought. 67 00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:38,058 But the doctor just put a bunch of mulch up there, 68 00:02:38,094 --> 00:02:40,015 - and it got all infected. - Dark days. 69 00:02:40,051 --> 00:02:43,146 I'm sorry. It's just so sweet. 70 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:45,801 - The mulch thing? - No, how Doug saved him. 71 00:02:46,027 --> 00:02:48,804 Doug was always taking people under his wing. 72 00:02:49,048 --> 00:02:51,154 Doug said you have a beautiful voice. 73 00:02:51,198 --> 00:02:52,547 Oh, he did? Well, I... 74 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,379 Would you want to sing a song for us? 75 00:02:56,415 --> 00:02:57,483 What a nice thought, 76 00:02:57,519 --> 00:02:59,517 but you know what, I don't have anything prepared. 77 00:02:59,553 --> 00:03:01,075 Okay, well, if you don't want to sing, 78 00:03:01,111 --> 00:03:02,843 you could just tell us the inspiring story 79 00:03:02,879 --> 00:03:05,516 of how Doug saved you from being a mulch-butt ho. 80 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,642 I would like to sing a song in honor of my dear friend 81 00:03:08,678 --> 00:03:09,781 Doug Judy. 82 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,213 Oh, nothing better after a long shift 83 00:03:12,249 --> 00:03:13,437 than coming to Shaw's. 84 00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:15,769 It's like Cheers, where everybody knows your name. 85 00:03:15,805 --> 00:03:17,291 A place where everybody knows your name is hell. 86 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,530 - You're describing hell. - Guys, guys, guys. 87 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,836 Are those... 88 00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:22,272 Firefighters. 89 00:03:22,462 --> 00:03:23,724 Hey, what's going on? 90 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,584 Why is the FDNY in our cop bar? 91 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:28,630 We needed a new place, since our bar, O'Brien's, burned down. 92 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,364 - You couldn't put that out? - They probably started it. 93 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,108 Most arsonists turn out to be firefighters. 94 00:03:32,152 --> 00:03:34,110 That's not true, though it is very common, 95 00:03:34,154 --> 00:03:35,546 and definitely what happened in this case. 96 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,852 I'm surprised you guys even want to come here 97 00:03:36,895 --> 00:03:38,332 since you have to take the stairs. 98 00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:40,203 I know how much you like sliding on poles. 99 00:03:40,247 --> 00:03:41,639 We don't like sliding on poles. 100 00:03:41,683 --> 00:03:43,685 We do it to save lives. It's dangerous. 101 00:03:43,728 --> 00:03:45,208 You can ask my best friend Steve. 102 00:03:45,437 --> 00:03:47,352 Oh, no, wait, you can't, actually, 103 00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:48,646 because he's dead. 104 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:50,560 Tripped through a pole hole, broke his neck. 105 00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:51,791 That's horrible. 106 00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:53,564 Sorry, but this is a firefighter bar now. 107 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,978 Although we might want to make some changes to the decor. 108 00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:57,887 I'm thinking some old-timey pressure gauges, 109 00:03:57,923 --> 00:03:59,273 maybe an autographed photo 110 00:03:59,309 --> 00:04:00,789 of Denis Leary from "Rescue Me." 111 00:04:00,832 --> 00:04:02,792 - You wouldn't. - Wouldn't I? 112 00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:04,358 Check it out. 113 00:04:04,401 --> 00:04:06,142 You son of a bitch. 114 00:04:18,285 --> 00:04:20,504 Oh, no, he gave himself a key change. 115 00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,129 Thank you so much. You've been a great audience. 116 00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,281 I mean, it's a funeral. That's psychotic. 117 00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:39,363 I'm so sorry. 118 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,585 Why are there firefighters here? 119 00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:43,120 Did one of them turn out to be an arsonist 120 00:04:43,156 --> 00:04:44,785 - and burn down their own bar? - Actually, yes. 121 00:04:44,821 --> 00:04:46,227 So predictable. But why did you call me? 122 00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:47,357 There's nothing I can do about this. 123 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,272 You have gravitas. Everyone listens to you. 124 00:04:49,316 --> 00:04:52,142 Look, even if I could save Shaw's, I'm not sure I'd want to. 125 00:04:52,178 --> 00:04:53,798 This place is a hovel. 126 00:04:53,842 --> 00:04:56,323 The only wine they serve is from the Delaware Water Gap. 127 00:04:56,366 --> 00:04:58,055 It's called "Charbonnay." 128 00:04:58,091 --> 00:05:00,167 But this is our bar, and it has been forever. 129 00:05:00,203 --> 00:05:01,335 Change is a good thing. 130 00:05:01,371 --> 00:05:02,546 Just yesterday, you were ranting 131 00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,461 about the Philharmonic adding a second piccolo. 132 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,050 It's too many. It'll muddle the sound. 133 00:05:06,086 --> 00:05:07,131 I'm sorry I brought it up. 134 00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:08,813 Look, we can find a new bar 135 00:05:08,857 --> 00:05:10,437 that's not beneath us. 136 00:05:10,473 --> 00:05:11,686 What about Bel Vino? 137 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:13,651 They've got a great selection of Italian reds, 138 00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:15,160 and your feet don't stick to the floor 139 00:05:15,196 --> 00:05:16,473 if you stand in one place too long. 140 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,649 Fine. If you're not gonna do anything, then I will. 141 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,679 Hank, you got to get rid of these hose humpers. 142 00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:22,980 - It's them or us. - Look, guys, I don't want to take sides. 143 00:05:23,016 --> 00:05:24,177 I just want to make money. 144 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:26,336 Then keep it a cop bar. We drink like crazy. 145 00:05:26,372 --> 00:05:28,311 Yeah, 'cause of all the tragedy we experience 146 00:05:28,355 --> 00:05:30,226 on a daily basis, son. 147 00:05:30,270 --> 00:05:33,360 Oh, yeah? We experience plenty of tragedy too. 148 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,082 We lose a man a year to the pole hole. 149 00:05:35,118 --> 00:05:36,537 How about this? 150 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,496 If it's about money, let's just have a drink-off. 151 00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:41,759 Whoever racks up the biggest tab by closing time 152 00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:43,239 gets to keep Shaw's. 153 00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:44,500 Okay, defectives. 154 00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:49,767 - My guys can handle that. - Oh, can they? 155 00:05:49,811 --> 00:05:52,205 'Cause the Nine-Nine's about to bring the real heat. 156 00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:55,946 Get ready for the back draft, bitch. 157 00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:58,186 Jake, are you upset? Where are you going? 158 00:05:58,222 --> 00:05:59,693 Are you embarrassed about your singing? 159 00:05:59,729 --> 00:06:01,209 - Doug Judy. - What? 160 00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:04,652 Hey, Jake. Man, that song was moving AF. 161 00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:06,393 We got to lay that down. 162 00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:10,916 Don't try and duet with me, you bastard. 163 00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:12,549 You tricked me. Now give me a hug. 164 00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:14,073 I'm so happy you're alive. I'll never forgive you. 165 00:06:14,109 --> 00:06:15,315 You're my best friend. 166 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,620 Whoo, I just went through a lot of emotions real fast, 167 00:06:16,664 --> 00:06:18,361 but I think I'm back to normal now. 168 00:06:18,405 --> 00:06:20,233 - Should we get lunch? - I would love a cheesesteak. 169 00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:21,799 I was thinking the exact same thing, probably 'cause... 170 00:06:21,843 --> 00:06:23,584 The coffin looks like a hoagie roll. 171 00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:25,368 Judy, what the hell is going on? 172 00:06:25,412 --> 00:06:27,225 Uh, who are you, and where is Rosa? 173 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,001 I'm his boss, and I want answers. 174 00:06:29,037 --> 00:06:30,768 All right. You know who Stefano Lucas is? 175 00:06:30,804 --> 00:06:31,896 The arms dealer? 176 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,086 I got word he put a hit out on me, so I had to disappear. 177 00:06:34,122 --> 00:06:35,961 Why does Stefano Lucas want you dead? 178 00:06:35,997 --> 00:06:37,337 His favorite Ferrari got stolen, 179 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,903 and for some reason he thinks I did it. 180 00:06:38,947 --> 00:06:40,383 Probably because someone's been jacking cars 181 00:06:40,427 --> 00:06:41,819 all over Brooklyn using your MO. 182 00:06:41,863 --> 00:06:43,299 Oh, my God. Jake, are you saying 183 00:06:43,343 --> 00:06:44,879 - what I think you're saying? - Yes. 184 00:06:44,915 --> 00:06:46,781 You have a copycat. 185 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,828 I didn't think I'd accomplished enough in my career for this. 186 00:06:48,864 --> 00:06:49,914 I know, it's big. 187 00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:51,873 It just feels so good to be seen, you know? 188 00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:53,875 Wait. The only way to catch a copycat 189 00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:56,208 is to team up with the original criminal. 190 00:06:56,244 --> 00:06:58,123 I'm back on the force! Give me a gun. 191 00:06:58,159 --> 00:07:00,403 No! There is no copycat. You did it. 192 00:07:00,447 --> 00:07:02,318 Not me. I'm living that straight life. 193 00:07:02,362 --> 00:07:04,538 Terry refuses to believe it. He thinks people can't change. 194 00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:06,249 Tell that to Bruce Banner's pants and shirt. 195 00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:07,367 That's what I said. 196 00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:08,629 Doug Judy, you're under arrest. 197 00:07:08,672 --> 00:07:10,405 What? Sarge? 198 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:14,412 You are really bringing down the vibe at this funeral. 199 00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:19,277 What the hell is that? 200 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,718 Jake got me this disguise 201 00:07:20,754 --> 00:07:23,197 so some criminal doesn't see me in here and tell Stefano. 202 00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:25,135 Okay, but why is Jake also wearing them? 203 00:07:25,171 --> 00:07:27,594 Uh, because it looks super cool, Sarge. 204 00:07:27,637 --> 00:07:29,639 We look like the hot twins from "The Matrix." 205 00:07:31,864 --> 00:07:33,202 We are getting aggravated. 206 00:07:33,238 --> 00:07:34,949 - You look like Milli Vanilli. - Ooh! I call Vanilli. 207 00:07:34,993 --> 00:07:36,777 Ah, I want to be Nilli, but you got it. 208 00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:38,329 - He's the best one. - You know it's true. 209 00:07:38,384 --> 00:07:40,080 So did you check out Judy's alibi? 210 00:07:40,116 --> 00:07:42,522 Yes, and surprisingly, it checks out. 211 00:07:42,565 --> 00:07:44,851 Last Saturday night, Doug was deejaying 212 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,438 Joshy Greenbaum's bar mitzvah. 213 00:07:46,474 --> 00:07:47,903 That was a wild party. 214 00:07:47,939 --> 00:07:49,684 Auntie Karen is a freak. 215 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,141 Judy, you deejay bar mitzvahs? 216 00:07:51,177 --> 00:07:52,793 Best gig I ever had. No one likes hip-hop more 217 00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:54,263 than a 13-year-old Jewish boy. 218 00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,623 - Mm. So true. - I'm not buying it. 219 00:07:56,666 --> 00:07:58,508 Probably stealing cash off the gift table. 220 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,428 Sarge, come on. He has an alibi. 221 00:08:00,464 --> 00:08:02,919 Let's just team up and try and catch the copycat. 222 00:08:02,955 --> 00:08:04,208 A thousand push-ups. 223 00:08:04,244 --> 00:08:05,586 It's something Rosa and I used to say. 224 00:08:05,622 --> 00:08:07,306 It just means trust me. If Judy's a criminal, 225 00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,465 I'll do a thousand push-ups, and since you're so confident, 226 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:10,854 if you're wrong, you can do 'em. 227 00:08:10,898 --> 00:08:12,639 And a thousand push-ups? That's a lot to you? 228 00:08:13,074 --> 00:08:14,210 You go to hell, Terry. 229 00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:15,877 Make it 100,000 push-ups, and I'm in. 230 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,513 Obviously I can't do that much exercise, 231 00:08:17,557 --> 00:08:19,602 but it doesn't matter, because Doug Judy is telling the truth, 232 00:08:19,646 --> 00:08:20,777 - right, Judy? - I got you, baby. 233 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,562 So fine. 100,000 push-ups. 234 00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:23,792 You happy, Sarge? 235 00:08:24,042 --> 00:08:26,562 - Great. Now, Doug... - You never call me Doug. 236 00:08:26,598 --> 00:08:27,686 Yeah, well, you called me Jake earlier. 237 00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:28,926 I thought we were switching to first names. 238 00:08:28,962 --> 00:08:30,239 I was thinking the same exact thing! 239 00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:31,614 I was like, "Why not call him Jake?" 240 00:08:31,658 --> 00:08:32,833 - We're bonding, man. - 'Cause he's so official. 241 00:08:34,878 --> 00:08:36,793 But it's chill now. 242 00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:38,926 - So, Doug... - Yes, Jake? 243 00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:41,233 Now that we know the copycat is using your playbook, 244 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,583 if you were still in the game... which you're not, 245 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:46,020 we all agree... what would your next move be? 246 00:08:46,064 --> 00:08:47,935 It's fight night at Barclays. 247 00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:49,850 No sport attracts more ultra-wealthy people 248 00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,547 with super-nice cars than boxing. 249 00:08:51,591 --> 00:08:54,427 Really? What about the sport of hunting man? 250 00:08:54,463 --> 00:08:55,856 - You got me. - That's not a thing. 251 00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,357 Right. So should we just start at Barclays then? 252 00:08:57,393 --> 00:09:00,208 Great. But first, we got to make a quick little pit stop on the way. 253 00:09:00,252 --> 00:09:01,514 What? Where? 254 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:10,866 Okay, here are the rules to the contest. 255 00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,046 If you order a drink, 256 00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:14,280 it must be fully consumed before you order another. 257 00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:16,703 Each team's tab will be tracked on that board. 258 00:09:16,746 --> 00:09:18,922 We don't want anyone getting alcohol poisoning, 259 00:09:18,966 --> 00:09:20,884 so if you throw up, you're disqualified. 260 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,101 I never throw up. I just tell my stomach to deal with it. 261 00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:24,798 My body is terrified of me. 262 00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,147 Guys, there's no way we can win. 263 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,019 There's nine of them and six of us. 264 00:09:28,062 --> 00:09:30,064 Five of you. I'm going home. 265 00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:31,935 Although perhaps I'll stop at Bel Vino on the way, 266 00:09:31,979 --> 00:09:33,416 have a glass of Sancerre. 267 00:09:33,452 --> 00:09:34,808 Might even try the quince paste 268 00:09:34,851 --> 00:09:37,704 if I'm feeling... naughty. 269 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,073 You're really gonna let these firefighters 270 00:09:39,117 --> 00:09:40,727 take Shaw's from us? 271 00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:42,903 Think of all the celebrations we've had here, 272 00:09:42,946 --> 00:09:45,281 all the times Terry has yelled "Nine-Nine!" 273 00:09:45,317 --> 00:09:46,318 I hate it when he says that. 274 00:09:46,354 --> 00:09:47,951 He should say, "Cheers 275 00:09:47,995 --> 00:09:49,127 to the Ninety-Ninth Precinct!" 276 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:51,912 We shouldn't be here. 277 00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:53,348 If you're worried that someone will recognize me 278 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,244 and find out I'm still alive, they won't. 279 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,743 There's not too many hardened criminals 280 00:09:56,786 --> 00:09:58,745 at Justin Friedman's bar mitzvah. 281 00:09:58,788 --> 00:10:02,129 Although there is a murderer on the loose, 282 00:10:02,165 --> 00:10:04,289 'cause Kevin Goldman is killing those dance moves! 283 00:10:04,325 --> 00:10:05,456 Get it, Kevin! 284 00:10:05,492 --> 00:10:07,321 That's the floss. He's flossing. 285 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,233 It's just that we should be at Barclays already. 286 00:10:09,269 --> 00:10:10,445 The fights are starting soon. 287 00:10:10,481 --> 00:10:12,150 Rich guys never show up on time. 288 00:10:12,193 --> 00:10:14,326 Besides, I promised Justin I'd be here. 289 00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:15,675 What up, J-Smooth! 290 00:10:18,575 --> 00:10:21,216 Gone straight, my ass. I got you, Doug Judy. 291 00:10:21,252 --> 00:10:22,298 - Huh? - What are you talking about? 292 00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:24,311 Something felt wrong, stopping for this bar mitzvah, 293 00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:26,016 so I sent some plainclothes officers 294 00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:27,644 to watch the lots at Barclays. 295 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,492 - They just caught the copycat. - I don't understand. 296 00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,082 If anything, that proves Judy's innocent. 297 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,528 He's been standing here with us the whole time. 298 00:10:32,564 --> 00:10:35,086 Which was his plan! Establish an alibi, 299 00:10:35,129 --> 00:10:36,942 so his partner can go off stealing cars. 300 00:10:36,978 --> 00:10:38,110 I don't have a partner. 301 00:10:38,146 --> 00:10:40,308 Whoever this is, I promise you, I do not know him. 302 00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:42,745 Actually, Doug, I think you do. 303 00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,138 Oh, my God. 304 00:10:44,182 --> 00:10:45,661 Trudy Judy! 305 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,128 You still want to pretend you had nothing to do with this? 306 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,087 I didn't, and she didn't either. 307 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,272 Trudy Judy's not a car thief. 308 00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:55,657 Trudy Judy's an angel. 309 00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:57,208 She's putting herself through nursing school. 310 00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,903 And nurses are the best of our society. 311 00:10:58,939 --> 00:11:00,050 Name one bad nurse. 312 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,308 Nurse Ratched. Kathy Bates in "Misery." 313 00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:03,718 Nurse Jackie had a pill problem. 314 00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:05,403 Okay, damn, you got a lot of real good examples 315 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,231 off the top of your head. You believe me, right, Jake? 316 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,885 I mean, the fact pattern's not great, 317 00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,639 but Trudy did seem very nice when I met her. 318 00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:12,104 You trying to get your freak on with my sister? 319 00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:12,976 What? No. 320 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,412 I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty. 321 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,892 I am not looking at Trudy Judy's booty. 322 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,067 Oh, you don't think she's a cutie? 323 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,624 - Don't be snooty. - She's a beauty, 324 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,114 - but I'm on duty. - And you're married. 325 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,376 Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme. 326 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,766 Sorry, I just get so overprotective. 327 00:11:22,802 --> 00:11:24,037 She's such a good kid. 328 00:11:24,073 --> 00:11:25,772 I guarantee you, she didn't steal those cars. 329 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,948 We caught her sitting in a Bentley with a power amplifier 330 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,254 and a homemade override plugged into the CAN bus. 331 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,471 Yeah, she guilty. 332 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,440 I can't believe you made us think you were dead. 333 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,827 I can't believe you're out here stealing cars. 334 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,261 - That's for lowlifes. - You steal cars. 335 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,350 And I'm a lowlife. A gorgeous, charming, 336 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,934 super smart lowlife beloved by all. 337 00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:42,102 I'm sorry, Dougie. 338 00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,369 I was falling behind on my student loans. 339 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:44,659 I had to do something. 340 00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:46,296 Guys, if you weren't working together, 341 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,725 how did she know all your signature moves? 342 00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:49,356 I found some of Doug's old notebooks. 343 00:11:49,392 --> 00:11:50,541 Those are notes for my memoir. 344 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,009 Memoir? Do you have title ideas yet? 345 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,803 I was just gonna call it "The Pontiac Bandit..." 346 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,100 - Oh, is that it? - Yeah. 347 00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,672 - Okay. - I hated stealing cars. 348 00:11:59,708 --> 00:12:02,217 I was gonna stop as soon as nursing school was paid off, I swear. 349 00:12:02,253 --> 00:12:03,486 It was a mistake. 350 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,112 That's good enough for me. Come on, Trudy, let's go home. 351 00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:07,264 That's not really how arresting works. 352 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,027 - She's going to jail. - Wait, wait, wait. 353 00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,168 What if we get you a bigger fish? 354 00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:11,754 - What if we can get you Stefano? - Who? 355 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:15,125 That cherry red 1961 Ferrari 250GT California you took 356 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,040 belongs to a guy named Stefano Lucas. 357 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,955 He thinks I did it, and now he wants to kill me. 358 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,348 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. 359 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,915 It's all good. You have the car, 360 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,133 so I call him, tell him I'm not dead, 361 00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,779 say I want to give him his car back, 362 00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:27,877 arrange a drop, and these guys take him down or die trying. 363 00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:29,572 That is interesting. 364 00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:31,141 Stefano almost never comes out in public. 365 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,056 It would be a huge collar for the Nine-Nine. 366 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,402 What do you say, Sarge? 100,000 push-ups? 367 00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:39,019 Fine. If you deliver Stefano, I'll talk to the DA 368 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,629 about a reduced sentence for your sister. 369 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,327 Thank you so much. There's just one problem. 370 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,854 I don't have the car. 371 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,374 I already handed it off to a fence. 372 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,855 Oh, Judy, Judy, you screwed me. 373 00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,861 Four hours left. We're down $58. 374 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,768 - Amy, where you at? - Four drinks. 375 00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,513 - What's four-drink Amy again? - Why don't you come over here 376 00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,907 - and find out? - Right, Horny Amy. 377 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,836 It feels like you should retire that one for the MeToo era. 378 00:12:59,872 --> 00:13:01,868 Why don't you come over here and make me? 379 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,068 All right, there's only one thing left to do. 380 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:04,218 Drink faster. 381 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,306 Set a bunch of fires throughout the city. 382 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,969 - Mine's better. - No! 383 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,741 We can do this. 384 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,833 Things seem bleak now, 385 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,575 but the night is always darkest before the dawn. 386 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,787 This is Shaw's. 387 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,048 We've had weddings here, 388 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,712 and funerals. 389 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,420 Shaw's is part of our family, 390 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,654 because that is what we are. 391 00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:26,931 A family. 392 00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:29,634 And we're not just Amy and Rosa 393 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201 and Hitchcock and... 394 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:41,864 So the fence, Dallas, he works in there. 395 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,257 I don't like him. My rule? 396 00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:45,095 Never trust anyone named after a city. 397 00:13:45,131 --> 00:13:47,217 - What about Orlando Bloom? - I never thought about him being named 398 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,306 after the city before, and his last name is Bloom? 399 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,352 Wait a minute. Did we just realize something crazy? 400 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,655 No, everyone knows it's a crazy name. 401 00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:55,040 Now can we just focus on the meet-up? 402 00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,574 - Fine. - All right, Dallas is creepy 403 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,142 and paranoid, and he really freaked me out that last time. 404 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,014 - I don't want to go in alone. - Don't worry, kid. 405 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,905 I'll be there right next to you, as always. 406 00:14:02,941 --> 00:14:05,018 Aw. Sarge, why don't you say stuff like that to me? 407 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:08,108 No, look, I do not trust the Judys going anywhere alone. 408 00:14:08,356 --> 00:14:09,892 Doug, you stay with Jake. I'll go in with Trudy. 409 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,241 I just need a cover story. 410 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,627 We could say that you're my boyfriend. 411 00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:13,896 No. No, no, no, I don't want 412 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,705 my little sister fake-dating some pervert. 413 00:14:15,741 --> 00:14:17,202 What? Why am I a pervert? 414 00:14:17,238 --> 00:14:18,683 Uh, have you ever met a nice, normal guy 415 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,468 that wears suspenders every day? 416 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,946 What kind of person has to tie their pants down 417 00:14:21,982 --> 00:14:23,253 to keep them from flying off? 418 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,011 That's not what suspenders are for, man. 419 00:14:25,047 --> 00:14:26,256 Guys, we don't have time 420 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,346 to figure out what suspenders are for, all right? 421 00:14:28,382 --> 00:14:29,956 Now, Trudy, this is undercover work. 422 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,740 It can be very intense. Are you sure you can handle it? 423 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,264 I mean, I'll do my best. 424 00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,642 - Who's this? - This is Deion. He's my man. 425 00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:39,488 Ask me another question, you simple little barn animal. 426 00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:41,177 Okay, so she can handle it. 427 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,272 Why is your boyfriend here? 428 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,690 Who said boyfriend? Deion and I freak, 429 00:14:44,726 --> 00:14:46,091 then he shuts his pretty little mouth 430 00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,495 and lets me handle my business. 431 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,146 I don't like the direction this is going. 432 00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,454 Easy. She's just playing a part. 433 00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:51,934 Pretty big age difference here. 434 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,631 - Where'd you guys meet? - The club. 435 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,198 Deion was a bouncer, 436 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,071 and I told him I wanted him to bounce on me. 437 00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,420 Oh, what is that? 438 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,725 Is she rubbing on his mic? 439 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,466 The mic that was taped to his chest? 440 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,946 You should feel these. 441 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,643 They're like two baseball bases. 442 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,167 Make 'em pop, daddy. 443 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,603 Daddy's not sure this is the time. 444 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,731 Do it, daddy! 445 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,072 Ooh, ow! Ooh, ow! 446 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,978 Get your hands off her, pervert! 447 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,650 Judy! Judy! I tried to stop him. 448 00:15:15,686 --> 00:15:17,046 That's my baby sister you're caressing. 449 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,797 What? How can I caress her with my pecs? 450 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,265 Look at those things. They got thumbs. 451 00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:23,358 Guys, guys, stop! Where is Dallas? 452 00:15:23,394 --> 00:15:25,022 I think he got spooked and ran away. 453 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,316 Good job, Doug Judy. 454 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,492 You just cost your sister a chance at a reduced sentence. 455 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,539 Oh, no! Why is my tone so playful? 456 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,323 Why is there a twinkle in my eye? 457 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:39,677 Because I just found our 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. 458 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,114 Oh, ho, ho! 459 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,203 Ladies and gents and pervert Terry, 460 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,813 we are in business. 461 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,163 Sorry, Sarge, I got caught up in the moment there. 462 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,035 - Guys, I threw up. 463 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,514 Oh, man, it's over. 464 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,168 - We need a miracle. - I'm here. 465 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,812 Captain Holt! How are you here? 466 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,345 You called me. You didn't stop calling me. 467 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,434 I didn't call you. Look. 468 00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,262 You left 17 voicemails. 469 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,524 Here's one. 470 00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:03,001 Holt! You got to come save us. 471 00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:04,354 We need a lie to get you here. 472 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,529 Charles, what should I say? 473 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,096 That I got shot in the face. 474 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,029 Ooh, and tell him to bring pizza. 475 00:16:09,065 --> 00:16:10,675 Whoo! Crampon Holt! 476 00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:11,886 We're losing. 477 00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:13,668 - Yeah! - Why are you dancing? 478 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,496 Oh, I was up to nine-drink Amy, 479 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,324 who speaks French, 480 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,899 and then I hurl... 481 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,502 I hurl... hurled. 482 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,373 What she's trying to say is that she vomited, 483 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,201 and now she's back down to three-drink Amy, 484 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,333 or Amy Dance Pants. 485 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,443 You know it. 486 00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:29,466 My God. 487 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,468 Hitchcock, are you the only person still making sense? 488 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,209 Yeah. It's bad. 489 00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,884 So are you gonna make us give up, Clappin? 490 00:16:35,981 --> 00:16:37,387 Or are you here to tell us to stop? 491 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,041 No, I'm here to help you win. 492 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:41,044 What is happening? Why is this? 493 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,523 It's something you said on one of your voicemails, 494 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,307 after you had sung the entirety of a song 495 00:16:44,343 --> 00:16:46,250 called "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya." 496 00:16:46,286 --> 00:16:47,939 You thought you had hung up, but you hadn't. 497 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,532 Anyway, bye-bye. What am I doing calling him? 498 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,187 He doesn't care about us or what we want. 499 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,058 When I heard that, I was shaken to my core. 500 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,969 I thought this bar was beneath me, 501 00:16:58,005 --> 00:17:00,410 but what was actually beneath me was my own behavior. 502 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,412 - I had turned my back on... - Holt! 503 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,110 We do not have time for this. 504 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,589 Just drinky, drinky! 505 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:10,072 Hank, bring me a Charbonnay. 506 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,154 All right, Stefano should be here any minute. 507 00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,642 I just want to thank you guys so much for helping me. 508 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,165 I don't deserve your kindness. 509 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,601 Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. 510 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,473 We all make bad decisions when we're younger. 511 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,475 - I was once in a flash mob. - Ew. 512 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,936 Something's off about this. 513 00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,391 I don't like leaving Judy out there alone. 514 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,921 Relax, we have a tracker on the car, 515 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,263 a tracker on Doug Judy, 516 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,396 and ESU has the entire area surrounded. 517 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,267 - It's gonna be fine. - We got movement. 518 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,269 Okay, everyone, to your positions. 519 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:34,531 On my signal. 520 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,958 Hold. Hold. 521 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,883 Hold. 522 00:17:39,078 --> 00:17:40,732 Sorry, I started holding too soon. 523 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,626 Let's start over. Hold. 524 00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:44,324 Hold. 525 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,847 And... 526 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,542 Everyone, stop holding! Go, go, go, go! 527 00:17:53,558 --> 00:17:55,201 Where is he? Where is he? 528 00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,170 Got him. They got Stefano. 529 00:17:57,213 --> 00:17:59,302 No, not Stefano. The Pontiac Bandit. 530 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,130 - Where is... - Doug Judy here. 531 00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:02,628 Y'all see that car blow up? 532 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,506 Yeah, we did. Why did you do that? 533 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,740 You think I did that? 534 00:18:05,776 --> 00:18:07,136 Doug Judy does not work with fire. 535 00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:08,790 Yeah, he's like the Hound from "Game of Thrones." 536 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:11,152 I am like the Hound. And you're my Arya. 537 00:18:11,188 --> 00:18:12,359 - Right? - Guys! 538 00:18:12,402 --> 00:18:14,840 If Doug Judy didn't blow up the car, who did? 539 00:18:16,849 --> 00:18:18,713 Trudy Judy. 540 00:18:23,196 --> 00:18:25,677 Damn, sir, you took that Charbonnay to the house. 541 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,505 - How you feeling? - Let me take stock. 542 00:18:27,548 --> 00:18:29,332 My equilibrium is askew, 543 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,509 my vision is partially impaired, 544 00:18:31,552 --> 00:18:33,336 and I'm clearly slurring my words. 545 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,425 To put a fine point on it, your boy is turnt. 546 00:18:35,469 --> 00:18:37,849 Well, well, well, there's only a minute left, 547 00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:39,517 and you are six bucks down. 548 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,779 I don't think you guys are gonna make it. 549 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,182 Hank, another Charb. 550 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,522 This one's hot. It was sitting on the radiator. 551 00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,790 - He's never gonna make it. - Yes, he will. 552 00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:54,662 Just don't breathe. Let the liquid into your lungs. 553 00:18:56,985 --> 00:19:00,842 Five, four, three, two... 554 00:19:00,886 --> 00:19:02,365 Closing time! Cops win! 555 00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:09,764 All right, fine, the bar is yours. 556 00:19:09,808 --> 00:19:13,402 But we're keeping this! 557 00:19:13,438 --> 00:19:14,595 Come on. 558 00:19:14,639 --> 00:19:16,641 Before we all go home and pass out, 559 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:19,600 I want to say how sorry I am that I deserted you earlier. 560 00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:22,647 I want you to know that I care about you all so very much, 561 00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:23,952 each and every one of you. 562 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,776 Boyle, Santiago, Diaz, Hitchcock, Scu... 563 00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,525 All right, I have officers looking for her. 564 00:19:31,569 --> 00:19:33,309 She was on foot. She couldn't have gone far. 565 00:19:33,353 --> 00:19:35,442 This is her. 566 00:19:35,485 --> 00:19:37,618 - Where are you, Trudy? - In the wind, Dougie. 567 00:19:37,662 --> 00:19:39,577 Okay, that's a cool thing to say, but what are you doing? 568 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:40,795 They were gonna reduce your charges. 569 00:19:40,839 --> 00:19:42,492 Reduced charges are still charges, 570 00:19:42,536 --> 00:19:43,885 and I can't go to prison. 571 00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:46,932 There are no dudes there, and I need to smush! 572 00:19:46,975 --> 00:19:48,586 - Trudy! - Oh, grow up, Doug. 573 00:19:48,629 --> 00:19:50,588 I'm an adult woman who's horny all the time. 574 00:19:50,631 --> 00:19:52,851 - What is going on? - Oh, are you judging me, ho? 575 00:19:52,894 --> 00:19:54,417 Trudy, running from the cops is a felony. 576 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,853 That means no more nursing school. 577 00:19:55,889 --> 00:19:57,064 Good. It sucked. 578 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,295 I only went to, like, one class. 579 00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,849 - What? - It was boring as hell. 580 00:19:59,885 --> 00:20:01,868 So then I started running Internet scams. 581 00:20:01,904 --> 00:20:03,122 Then there was identity theft. 582 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:04,514 I was Queen Latifah for a bit. 583 00:20:04,558 --> 00:20:06,429 Then Lil' Kim. That was less believable. 584 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,997 But then I found your old notebooks. 585 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,565 How come you never told me how much fun car thieving is? 586 00:20:11,609 --> 00:20:13,428 Because I didn't want you to fall in love with it. 587 00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:14,748 Wait, I'm confused. 588 00:20:14,784 --> 00:20:16,309 When did you put the bomb in the Ferrari? 589 00:20:16,352 --> 00:20:17,832 I didn't do it. Dallas did. 590 00:20:17,876 --> 00:20:20,298 And Dallas isn't some criminal I'm afraid of. 591 00:20:20,334 --> 00:20:22,249 He's my employee. Say what's up, Dallas. 592 00:20:22,285 --> 00:20:24,012 - Wassup? - Named after a city. 593 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,623 The hard part was trying to figure out 594 00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:27,317 how to tell him my plan, so then I came up 595 00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:28,582 with that whole boyfriend thing, 596 00:20:28,626 --> 00:20:30,323 because I needed a distraction. 597 00:20:30,366 --> 00:20:32,064 I knew you'd rush in, all weird and old-fashioned, 598 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,631 try to protect my honor. 599 00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:35,807 How can I caress her with my pecs? 600 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,635 Look at those things. They got thumbs. 601 00:20:37,678 --> 00:20:39,288 I don't need you to protect me, Doug. 602 00:20:39,332 --> 00:20:40,507 You're my baby sister. 603 00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:41,769 I got to look out for you. 604 00:20:41,813 --> 00:20:44,076 That's so sweet, and also dumb. 605 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,141 I'll see you at Christmas, sucker! 606 00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:47,688 I love you, big bro. 607 00:20:47,732 --> 00:20:48,807 Trudy! 608 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,518 Man, I am gutted. This is awful. 609 00:20:51,561 --> 00:20:53,433 Is this how you feel every time I trick you? 610 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,152 Pretty much. Yeah, it always hurts. 611 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:56,390 Wow, I'm sorry, man. 612 00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:57,827 It must be really hard to hang out with me. 613 00:20:57,863 --> 00:20:59,831 Well, it's a tough relationship, but it's exciting. 614 00:20:59,874 --> 00:21:01,683 Hey, Doug, I'm sorry for not trusting you. 615 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,266 Turns out you had nothing to do with this. 616 00:21:03,302 --> 00:21:05,837 Oh, so you admit people can change. 617 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,578 Yes. Bruce Banner's pants and shirt were correct. 618 00:21:08,622 --> 00:21:10,058 You know what this means, right? 619 00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:11,955 6,203. 620 00:21:11,991 --> 00:21:13,975 6,204. 621 00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:15,803 I am so glad I lost this bet. 622 00:21:15,847 --> 00:21:17,675 I never find time for things I enjoy. 623 00:21:17,718 --> 00:21:18,936 This is so unsatisfying. 624 00:21:18,972 --> 00:21:20,212 You're not even sweating. 625 00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:21,816 It's too easy. Get on my back, Jake. 626 00:21:21,852 --> 00:21:23,269 - No, I'm not... - Get on my back, Jake! 627 00:21:23,305 --> 00:21:24,828 Coming, strong man!