1 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,791 - Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you. 2 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:11,185 - Good morning, Cousin Mel. I love you. 3 00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:16,146 Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you. 4 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:20,063 - Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you. 5 00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,674 Good morning, Cousin Becca. I love you. 6 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:27,505 - Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you. 7 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:30,334 Good morning, Pappy Boyle. I love you. 8 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:34,034 - Good morning, Becca. I love you. 9 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,558 - Ooh, extra-long hug. 10 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:40,127 What got into you this morning, Pappy? 11 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,564 Pappy? 12 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,133 Pappy! 13 00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,071 - Oh, Charles. 14 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,898 I'm so sorry about your great-uncle Pappy. 15 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:13,943 You holding up okay? 16 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:14,987 - I've been managing. 17 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,119 - Mm... Have you though? 18 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,642 - Number two, step up. Say, "Charles, 19 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,383 it's Pappy. I'll always love you." 20 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,211 - Okay. Uh, "Charles, it's Pappy. 21 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,473 I'll always love you." 22 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,301 - Then why did you leave me? 23 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,173 Anyway, thanks for coming with me to the funeral. 24 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,391 I think we're all packed. 25 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:28,610 I just got to go grab the coffin. 26 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,046 - Wait, why are you bringing the coffin? 27 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,222 - I brought a coffin to my nana's funeral on a whim, 28 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,397 and it was a big hit. 29 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:36,226 So now, guess who's the coffin cousin? 30 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,575 - Got to say, Terry, 31 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:38,794 I'm a little surprised you're coming to this. 32 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,361 - Honestly, I need a break from the kids. 33 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,319 Cagney and Lacey keep trying to trick me into falling 34 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:43,799 down the stairs on TikTok. 35 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,583 Terry can't sprain another ankle. 36 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,150 - Well, I, for one, am pumped to be going. 37 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,760 - To a funeral? - I'm so bored, Terry. 38 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,501 I've been suspended for 87 days. 39 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:51,894 Mac gets dropped off at day care, 40 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,852 and I just sit at home playing "Animal Crossing." 41 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,767 But no one will buy my bugs or fossils. 42 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,856 I'm desperate for some normal human interaction. 43 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,163 - Coffin delivery! 44 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,382 - Okay, fine. It doesn't have to be 45 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,601 normal or human. Any interaction will work. 46 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,255 - Yo. You forgot your lunch. 47 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,865 - Oh. Thank you, Diaz. 48 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,606 - Sir, I didn't realize you were still staying at Rosa's. 49 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,086 I thought couple's counseling was going well. 50 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,348 - Not anymore. 51 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:12,393 At Kevin's request, I offered to reduce 52 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,134 my work hours by 26%. 53 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,396 Kevin countered with 50. 54 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,701 Which I countered with 30. 55 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,876 Then Kevin says 40— 56 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,443 - Seems like a lot of math for therapy. 57 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,271 - That's what Dr. Cheryl said... 58 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,273 which is why we fired her, 59 00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,927 and now we're working with Dr. Ramanujan. 60 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,843 He's a physicist with a nice, concrete worldview. 61 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,367 Anyway, Kevin refuses to budge from 36%. 62 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,978 And I'm starting to worry that I might lose to him. 63 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,154 - You mean lose him. 64 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:35,372 - No. Lose to him. 65 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,592 Therapy is a chess match. 66 00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:38,723 And... 67 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:39,855 I will prevail. 68 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:42,510 - Or it's about saving your marriage. 69 00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:44,642 You should make a grand romantic gesture. 70 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,470 - Ugh, so dumb. - Seriously? 71 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,124 From the woman who loves Nancy Meyers movies? 72 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,299 - Yeah. 73 00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,779 Here's what I've learned as a PI. 74 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,520 People suck, everyone cheats, and love is an illusion. 75 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,435 Nancy Meyers is a fool, and Holt should start dating. 76 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,610 What? - You heard me. 77 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,394 It's the only way you're gonna beat Kevin. 78 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,831 - I'm thinking about it. I'm considering it, 79 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:02,486 and I've decided. 80 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,009 I'm in. 81 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,097 - Here it is. 82 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,708 Pappy Boyle's farm. 83 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,710 I spent every summer here as a kid. 84 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,538 - Got to say, it's nicer than I was expecting. 85 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:11,756 - Pappy did well for himself. 86 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,323 He went to business school in New York. 87 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,716 He got a job in Wall Street. 88 00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,544 And one day his hand got caught in a subway door. 89 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,807 And he was dragged from Times Square into Queens. 90 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,156 Largest settlement in city history. 91 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,505 - Ew. 92 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,594 Pappy should've used that cash on pest control. 93 00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,248 There's giant rats everywhere. 94 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,902 - Those are nutria, Terry. 95 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:27,903 They're nothing like rats. 96 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:28,904 They have meatier haunches, 97 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,210 and their teeth are more orange. 98 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,342 You know, nutria are actually great pets. 99 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,604 They're affectionate and smart. 100 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,866 They know how to open doors. 101 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:35,780 Plus, you can milk them. 102 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:36,825 - But... 103 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:37,652 should you? 104 00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:38,740 - Pappy drank nutria milk, 105 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:39,828 and he was fit as a fiddle. 106 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,264 Anyway, you got to see the house. 107 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:44,180 I can't wait to show you the rug I was born on. 108 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,573 - Sure it's been cleaned since then. 109 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,618 - Charles Boyle, I love you. 110 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:50,230 - Sam Boyle, I love you. 111 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:57,498 Where's that dead body? 112 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,891 - He's in the barn, and he looks adorable. 113 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:00,979 - Ah, terrific. 114 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,024 And everything's set for the funeral? 115 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,155 - There's one little issue. 116 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,722 We can't find Pappy's will. 117 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,115 - What? - He wanted to leave the farm 118 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,247 to the Council of Cousins, 119 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,291 but if we don't find those papers, 120 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,640 it goes to Cousin Lyndon. 121 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:10,772 - Oh, no. 122 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,382 - Who's Cousin Lyndon? - Pappy's son. 123 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,601 He's the black sheep of the family. 124 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,559 - Wait, so we have a wealthy patriarch 125 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,648 who mysteriously died, a missing will, 126 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,998 and a black sheep set to inherit everything? 127 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,696 Am I the only one who suspects foul play here? 128 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:24,394 - He didn't die mysteriously. He was 93. 129 00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:25,569 - He was fit as fiddle, Terr. 130 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,049 From all the nutria milk. 131 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,137 - Don't be ridiculous. 132 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,443 No Boyle would ever commit murder. 133 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096 Boyles don't even get mad at each other. 134 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,969 Except in that rare instance of cousin-on-cousin jealousy. 135 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,579 - You're just bored from your suspension 136 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,015 and desperate to find a case to work. 137 00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,408 - No. That's not it. 138 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,583 I'm just telling you, 139 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,455 something doesn't smell right here. 140 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,934 - Oh, yeah. That's Pappy's body. 141 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,632 Cousin Mel did the embalming in here, 142 00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,982 and I think she forgot to add something. 143 00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,113 - Well... 144 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,028 that's a disturbing revelation. 145 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,336 - Hey. What's going on? 146 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,598 - I'm helping Holt pick a dating site. 147 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:55,904 - Oh, this looks good. 148 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,166 - PhDs only. 149 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,472 - Uh, actually in this context, 150 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,735 PHD stands for Pretty Huge 151 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,345 - Oh, my. 152 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,782 I can only assume that MDs only stands for Medium 153 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,175 - Rosa, can I talk to you for a second? 154 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,611 What the hell are you doing? 155 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,787 Why are you trying to get Holt and Kevin to break up? 156 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,528 - I'm trying to get Holt and Kevin back together. 157 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,313 He and Kevin are perfect for each other. 158 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,575 He just needs to realize that. 159 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,098 Once he sees what other trash is out there, 160 00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,318 he's gonna go running straight back into Kevin's arms, 161 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,971 just like in a Nancy Meyers movie. 162 00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:21,408 - So you still love Nancy Meyers? 163 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,148 - I will never turn my back on Nancy Meyers. 164 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,541 - Okay. I'm in. 165 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,370 Let operation "Lucky Number Kevin" begin. 166 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,371 - I'm out. - No, no, no. 167 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,720 We don't have to call it that. 168 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,722 - Okay, then I'll think I'll finish up by saying 169 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,985 Pappy Boyle was the best hugger. 170 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,336 Which is surprising because he lost his hand in the subway. 171 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:40,209 But he always said, "You don't hug with your hands, 172 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,080 "you hug with your heart. 173 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,431 And your groin." He got that groin involved. 174 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,911 - Uh, a lot of groin talk for a eulogy. 175 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,260 - Everyone, 176 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,175 there's something you need to see in the barn. 177 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,438 The game... 178 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,656 is afoot. 179 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,658 - Pappy Boyle was 93. 180 00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,268 Who would've suspected that his death stemmed 181 00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,793 from anything other than the cruel embrace of Father Time? 182 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,969 To suggest as much might get someone labeled 183 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,274 a crackpot, a kook, 184 00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,451 someone that's "bored with their suspension." 185 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,235 - Can you cut the "Harriet The Spy" windup? 186 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,715 It stinks in here. 187 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:10,326 - What you're smelling, Terry, is duplicity and deceit. 188 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,936 - I think it's actually Pappy's organs. 189 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,503 - Sam, you're kind of messing with my flow right now. 190 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,505 Point is, I was examining the body, 191 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,594 and I found something. 192 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,771 Classic ulceration and desquamation of the mouth. 193 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,208 Telltale signs of poisoning. 194 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,733 - In other words... 195 00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:28,344 What we have ourselves here 196 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,608 is a good ol' fashioned murder... 197 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:33,480 - Oh, no. 198 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,959 - Of a man who you all loved dearly. 199 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,178 I shouldn't have done the "Knives Out" accent. 200 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,617 - All right. A man has been poisoned, 201 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,053 his will is missing, 202 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,011 and there's only one person who stands to profit. 203 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,186 Lyndon Boyle. 204 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,622 - Lyndon's not a killer. 205 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,407 - I mean, he did skip a Boyle family Zoom last summer. 206 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,451 - Yeah, it's true. 207 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,626 It's seven hours out of your day. 208 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,932 How hard is that to fit in? 209 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,151 - Okay, let's set up an interrogation room. 210 00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,719 I wanna make this guy as uncomfortable as possible. 211 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,722 I thought we were going for uncomfortable. 212 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,028 What's with the rocking chair? 213 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,899 - It's a farm. All the chairs are rockers. 214 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:04,206 But don't worry, I under-steeped the tea. 215 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,469 - Ugh. It's so weak. 216 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,036 Why am I being treated like a criminal? 217 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,254 - Okay. I stand corrected. 218 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,213 We'd like to ask you a few questions. 219 00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:13,302 Tell us about your last contact with your father. 220 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,477 - Pappy? 221 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:15,478 Well, I saw him at his birthday party. 222 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,697 - Mm-hmm. And was there anything 223 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,698 unusual about that night? 224 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:18,873 - Nothing unusual at all. 225 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,527 We ate a pig from snout to anus, 226 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,007 and then took turns giving each other head massages. 227 00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,053 I was tired. So I found Pappy, 228 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,315 wished him a happy birthday. 229 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,969 We hugged for six minutes. 230 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,710 It was the last time I saw him alive. 231 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:32,887 - Did you see those tears? 232 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:33,888 No way he did it. 233 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:34,932 - Are you serious? 234 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,281 Anyone can fake cry. 235 00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:37,761 You just have to think of something sad. 236 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,720 Like that episode of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" 237 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:40,764 when Leonardo was in a coma. 238 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:41,722 - And that works? 239 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,766 - Yeah. 240 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,115 Yeah, it does. 241 00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,421 Now, come on. 242 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,944 Let's go poke some holes in Lyndon's story. 243 00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:50,208 - It was such a great party. Everyone had the best time. 244 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,253 I mean, except for Lyndon. 245 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,254 - Lyndon wasn't happy? 246 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,516 - Yeah, it was strange. 247 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,126 He was passing through the living room. 248 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,302 I asked him if he wanted a little HJ. 249 00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,652 But he just ignored me. 250 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,958 I mean, who doesn't want an HJ from their cousin? 251 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,307 - Hold up. An HJ? 252 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,527 - A head job. A massage. 253 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:05,789 Isn't that what everyone calls it? 254 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:06,964 - You bet. - Absolutely not. 255 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,618 - Okay, so why was Lyndon angry? 256 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,012 - I bet it was whatever Pappy said to him. 257 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,230 - Wait. What Pappy said when? 258 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,318 - When they were in Pappy's study. 259 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,668 We heard raised voices. 260 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,278 And then Lyndon said... - Good night. 261 00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,453 - Walked out of the room, 262 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,933 and closed the door behind him. 263 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,717 - That's all he said? Good night? 264 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,545 Gentlemen... 265 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,591 I just solved this case. 266 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,289 - Sir, if you wanna get a date off of these sites, 267 00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,638 you're gonna have to give me a little more 268 00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,813 from your profile photo. 269 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,163 - I just gave you a series of eight poses, 270 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,775 each increasing in sexual provocativeness 271 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:35,950 by one-eighth. 272 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,560 If you wanted septiles or deciles 273 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,214 of sexiness, you should've told me. 274 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,955 - What? 275 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,304 Why do you care so much, Santiago? 276 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,610 I thought you didn't like the idea of me dating. 277 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,785 - Yes, initially. 278 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,309 But then I thought about your metaphor 279 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,093 about how relationships are like a chess match. 280 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,965 - Mm-hmm. - And it really convinced me. 281 00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,270 - That was a strong observation. 282 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:55,012 - So why don't you think of this profile photo 283 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,232 as an epic chess move? 284 00:08:57,275 --> 00:09:01,105 - Like Vladimirov's Thunderbolt of 1987. 285 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,454 Close the door, Diaz. 286 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:05,414 I'm removing my collar stays. 287 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,633 - Why am I back here? 288 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,026 Like I told you, it was a typical night. 289 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,375 - Right. Cousin kissing circle, 290 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,812 everyone gets burped after dinner— 291 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:12,987 normal stuff. 292 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:13,944 But let's talk about what happened 293 00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,729 after the burping, shall we? 294 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,034 - What are you getting at? 295 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:18,122 What exactly do you think happened that night? 296 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,733 - I'm so glad you asked. 297 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,344 I think Pappy called you into his study 298 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,172 and told you he was cutting you out of his will. 299 00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,348 Tempers flared. Voices were raised. 300 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,523 - What? - You were furious 301 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,611 you wouldn't be inheriting the farm. 302 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:29,743 - I don't even want the farm. 303 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,745 I've always been more of a city boy. 304 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,050 I live in Poughkeepsie. 305 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,182 - Well, I guess that settles it. 306 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,664 - Except you didn't say I love you. 307 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,795 - Excuse me? 308 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:39,927 - When you left, you said "good night." 309 00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,450 You didn't say "I love you." 310 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,060 Now, you may be a black sheep, but you're still a Boyle. 311 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,540 And a Boyle always says "I love you." 312 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,020 - Not always. - Look around you. 313 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:47,543 It's written everywhere. 314 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,026 - Okay, fine. We were fighting. 315 00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,680 But not over the will. 316 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,682 Pappy was mad at me for missing that Zoom call this summer. 317 00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,901 - I mean honestly, Lyndon, what did you expect would happen? 318 00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,121 - He said I was a disgrace to the Boyle name. 319 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,513 So I didn't say "I love you." 320 00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,080 I just stormed out to the shed. 321 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,039 I went to get the Grandmother Dough. 322 00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,693 - The Grandmother Dough? 323 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:07,955 - Here it is. 324 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,914 The original Boyle family sourdough starter, 325 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,699 the mother of the mother dough. 326 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,309 It's still good, but the lid on the jar 327 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,963 has been stuck for over a hundred years. 328 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:19,662 - There's an old family legend that it can only be opened by 329 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,490 The One True Boyle. 330 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,665 - I wanted to show my dad that I was 331 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,058 not a disgrace to the family. 332 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,102 But I couldn't budge it. 333 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,147 Maybe he was right. 334 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,844 - Oh, Lyndon. What a tale. 335 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,760 But I don't think that's why you came in this barn at all. 336 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:31,892 I think you came in here 337 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,023 for this. 338 00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,242 - Is that nutria poison? 339 00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,723 - It's rat poison. Nutria are pets. 340 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:37,985 You psychopath. 341 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,726 - Ah. Nitrobenzene. 342 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,597 That causes the exact type of ulcers 343 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,512 we found in Pappy Boyle's mouth. 344 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,428 And look what we have here. 345 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:49,387 A single brown hair, 346 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,998 belonging to the murderer. 347 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,304 Terry, please send this off to the local police station 348 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:54,697 for a DNA test. 349 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,831 Now all we need is one of your hairs, Lyndon. 350 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,006 - I didn't kill my father. 351 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,268 Why am I being singled out? 352 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,704 - Why not take a hair from every Boyle 353 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,445 so Cousin Lyndon doesn't feel that way? 354 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,099 - Sure, great idea. I'll go first. 355 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,057 - I mean it's more work for the lab, but it's fine with me. 356 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,494 Are you okay with that, Lyndon? 357 00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,931 - Oh, wow. Went with a nose hair. 358 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,019 Didn't see that coming. 359 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,237 But it's definitely long enough. 360 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,283 - No. 361 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,806 - Okay, sir. This app's pretty simple. 362 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,634 If you don't like the guy's profile, you click "dang," 363 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,288 and if you do, you click "daaang." 364 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,419 - That sounds needlessly confusing. 365 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,377 - Why? "dang" is bad 366 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,421 and "daaang" is good. 367 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,336 - Okay, let's thin this herd. 368 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,251 Untucked shirt, no thank you. 369 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,776 Born in San Diego, yikes. 370 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,299 An adult named Todd? 371 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,780 So this is what online dating is like? 372 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,042 I didn't realize. 373 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,304 - Realize how good you have it with Kevin? 374 00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,740 - No, how it hasn't changed. 375 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,047 You still have to pick someone based on looks 376 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,135 and hope for a connection later. 377 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,658 Oh, Lord, help me. 378 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,615 I'm going for it. 379 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:44,704 I'm clicking "dang." - No. 380 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,270 "Dang" is bad. Click "daaang." 381 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,055 - Why is this so confusing? 382 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:50,057 How do I get Hot Todd back? 383 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,146 - DNA results are in. 384 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,321 - Ooh, and? Who did it? 385 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,278 It was Lyndon, right? 386 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,802 - Hair is... 387 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,151 "rodent in origin." 388 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,065 - What? Doesn't make any sense. 389 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,109 Here, forward it to me. 390 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,371 - Must've been a nutria hair. 391 00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,199 Those things are everywhere. Ugh. 392 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,331 - Wait a minute. This is weird. 393 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,811 According to the DNA results, 394 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,248 everyone in the Boyle family is related except one. 395 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,205 - Lyndon? - No. 396 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,554 - Charles. 397 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,861 - Charles Boyle 398 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,341 isn't a Boyle. 399 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,867 - That DNA test has to be wrong. 400 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,087 I mean, Charles is the most Boyle-y of all the Boyles. 401 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,653 - You know what? I'm gonna call Charles' dad, 402 00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,003 get to the bottom of this. 403 00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,094 Hey, Lynn? It's Jake. 404 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,835 Hi. Hey, can I ask you 405 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,750 about Charles' paternity real quick? 406 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,404 All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye. 407 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,797 - What on Earth took so long? 408 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,146 - Well, the first five hours 409 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:38,279 was mostly just sobbing and gasping for air. 410 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,064 Then he told me that Charles' mom had an affair 411 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,544 with a rival florist. 412 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,154 Lynn always suspected he might've been Charles' dad, 413 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,156 but he decided he loved him so much, it didn't matter. 414 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,462 - I don't understand. 415 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,377 Charles looks just like all the other Boyles. 416 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,595 - Apparently that's not genetic. 417 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,336 The Boyles cuddle their children so much, 418 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,685 it shapes their bones that way. 419 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,862 He likened it to how they grow square watermelons. 420 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,037 - Oh, my God. 421 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,125 We can't tell Charles. 422 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,691 - You wanna lie to our dear friend 423 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,389 about the one thing that's most important to him 424 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,304 in the whole world? 425 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:04,871 - Yes. - Okay, good, me too. 426 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,437 Now all we have to do is prove that Cousin Lyndon is 427 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:09,049 the murderer before Charles asks about the DNA results. 428 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,050 - Hi, guys. 429 00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,399 - Ah. Hey, man. 430 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,400 Where'd you come from? 431 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,749 - I slinked up. 432 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,881 - You know how good Boyles are at slinking. 433 00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,578 It's because of our fleshy toe pads. 434 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,406 - Right. And you, Charles, 435 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,408 have said fleshy toe pads 436 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:21,757 because you are a Boyle, 437 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,848 from snout to anus. 438 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,024 - "A Boyle from snout to anus." 439 00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,069 That is so sweet. 440 00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,418 I'm stealing that for the eulogy. 441 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:31,854 - Ah, you don't have to. 442 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,334 - Huh. 443 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,596 It's the exact time we agreed to meet for our date, 444 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:35,553 and he's not here. 445 00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,728 - I'm sorry. 446 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,165 I know how you value punctuality. 447 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,296 - In my employees. 448 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,342 But in potential suitors, I don't mind 449 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:42,647 one or two minutes of tardiness. 450 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,606 I like a bad boy. 451 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:45,999 Now, if you'll excuse me, 452 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,262 I'm going to go to the bathroom to wash my hands, 453 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,307 in case we shake. 454 00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,483 - Ooh. 455 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,442 I thought the point was for Holt to bail 456 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,617 before he got to an actual date. 457 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,184 - It is. But this works too. 458 00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,794 I mean, did you see the dude he matched with? 459 00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,969 He calls himself a doctor, 460 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,753 but he's actually a chiropractor. 461 00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:04,234 - Are we sure Holt doesn't respect chiropractors? 462 00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,151 I'm kidding. 463 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,979 Ooh. There's Todd. 464 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,329 - And here's Holt. 465 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,896 Started off strong, nice big smile. 466 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,116 Oh, not anymore. He just noticed Todd's loafers. 467 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,595 - Oh, Todd, you fool. 468 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,946 Holt thinks any shoes without laces are flip-flops. 469 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,644 - Now the moment that will send Holt running toward the exit. 470 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,602 When he asks Todd what he would like to drink, 471 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,300 Todd orders, "Whatever you're having." 472 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:29,520 - Oh Todd, you fool. Have your own opinion. 473 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,958 Wait a second. Are they gonna sit down? 474 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,046 In a booth? 475 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,090 Oh, no, Rosa. 476 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,178 Todd's not the fool. 477 00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,701 We're the fools. 478 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:38,878 - I have eyes on the package. 479 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,140 He's headed towards you. 480 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:41,402 - I'm on it. - Seriously, guys, 481 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,533 why are we doing this? 482 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,187 We should just wait for the DNA test. 483 00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:45,449 - We will. 484 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:46,581 But the lab said it would take a week. 485 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,452 They had to get a new tech. 486 00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,845 - Oh, no. Why? 487 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,153 The old one had a bad allergic reaction to... 488 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,589 beakers. - Ugh. 489 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,156 Labs are full of them. That's awful. 490 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,592 - Yeah, and real. 491 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,550 Anyways, since Lyndon is our only actual suspect, 492 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,161 we might as well investigate. 493 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,423 - Let me ask you this. Is he gushing? 494 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,641 - Don't say those words. 495 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:04,947 - The pressure of keeping secrets 496 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,688 makes Boyles stress-sweat. 497 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,037 Once, we played Mafia, 498 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,387 and you'd never seen so many dripping wet cousins 499 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:11,736 in one room. - Come on. 500 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,434 - Wait. He's leaving the property. 501 00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:14,696 - Can you stay with him? 502 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:15,915 - Yeah. I think so. 503 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,220 I just have to get around the barn and— 504 00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:20,180 - Terr-bear? 505 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,877 - I'm sorry. I was following Lyndon 506 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,097 and I crawled into that thing. 507 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,402 - That thing has a name. 508 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:26,664 - It's Muffin. 509 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,057 - Well, thanks to Muffin, we lost Lyndon. 510 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,930 - Yes. But also thanks to Muffin, 511 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,845 I just solved the case of who killed Pappy Boyle. 512 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,891 - We're right here. 513 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,024 - Yeah. I didn't think it would feed back. 514 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,461 - Oh, no, Rosa. They're leaving together. 515 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,418 What are we gonna do? 516 00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:42,637 - We stop them. 517 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,681 Even if it means we have to kill Todd. 518 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,162 - Smart. Let's go. 519 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,076 - Looking for someone? 520 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,470 - Sir. Uh, what's going on? 521 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:52,038 - What's going on is that you were trying to manipulate me, 522 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,127 but it is I who manipulated you. 523 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,258 How does it feel 524 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:58,174 to suckle from your own tainted teat? 525 00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,871 - Not as bad as it feels to hear you say "suckle." 526 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:02,352 - So you were never really going home with Todd? 527 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:05,312 - You actually think I would have relations with him? 528 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:07,183 His watch has a cloth strap. 529 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:08,358 - I really thought we had something. 530 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,186 - Wake up, Todd. I'm out of your league. 531 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,667 You thought you could meddle in my personal life, 532 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,539 but I was ten moves ahead the whole time. 533 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:16,714 And now, checkmate. 534 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:17,933 - Ooh. I love chess. 535 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,195 Have you seen "The Queen's Gambit"? 536 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,589 It's a TV show. - Todd, I swear to God. 537 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:24,287 - The person who killed Pappy wasn't a person at all. 538 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:25,549 It was Muffin. 539 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:26,942 - I checked her mouth, 540 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,031 and Muffin had the same ulcers that Pappy had. 541 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,381 Muffin ate the poison, and then Pappy drank her milk. 542 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,296 - Charles, you said nutria could open doors. 543 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,342 Muffin must've let herself into the barn. 544 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:36,952 - Which explains why we found her hair on the box. 545 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,736 - So Lyndon was innocent. 546 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,564 - Wait, how did you know it was Muffin's hair? 547 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,044 Did you get the DNA report back? 548 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,263 - Exactly. - Wait, but I thought 549 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,612 the report was gonna take a week 550 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:45,787 because of the lab tech's allergies. 551 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,093 - Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 552 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,877 But then they decided to use a subcontractor 553 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,357 who was allergy-free, so let's just move on 554 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,619 and talk about something else immediately. 555 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:52,794 Three "uh-huh's"? 556 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,665 Clearly you're lying about something. 557 00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:55,797 - Why you being a jerk to me? 558 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,103 - Show me the report, Jake. 559 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,843 - Okay, fine. But just look at the top result 560 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,063 'cause that's all that matters. 561 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,804 "Specimen hair was rodent in nature." 562 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,458 and that's that. 563 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:07,635 - Oh, my God. 564 00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,158 I'm not a Boyle. 565 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,858 - Okay. I love you too, Dad. 566 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,034 Did you guys change clothes? 567 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,731 - Yeah, Charles. It's tomorrow now. 568 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,472 You been on the phone for 14 hours. 569 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,169 - Well, you know what they say, 570 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,389 "Time flies when God pulls down his pants 571 00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,217 and takes a dump on your life." 572 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,870 - Oh, buddy. I'm so sorry. 573 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:28,395 - Being a Boyle was the backbone of my identity. 574 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:31,224 Without the Boyle backbone, I'm just a bag of flesh. 575 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,182 I'm goo. - Come on, you're not goo. 576 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,836 Being a Boyle is about more than blood. 577 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,011 It's what's in your heart. 578 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,447 - Blood is what's in your heart. 579 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,753 You're making it worse, Jake. 580 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,233 - Okay, fine. Then what about Nikolaj? 581 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:41,582 He was adopted, so technically, 582 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,192 he's not a Boyle, but that never bothered you. 583 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,585 - I didn't even think about Niko. 584 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,848 He was already a Boyle once removed 585 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,068 which is tough enough. Now he's twice removed? 586 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,722 Twice-removed Boyles are a total clown show, 587 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:55,204 okay? Niko's basically Cousin Andrea. 588 00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:57,119 Sorry, Andrea. 589 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,556 - I know what I am. 590 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,254 - Well, damn. - Look, let's go home. 591 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,125 - We're leaving? What about the funeral? 592 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,257 What about the eulogy? 593 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,562 - I don't feel right giving it now. 594 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,999 Sam offered to step in. I'll have him do it. 595 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,479 - No, no, no. Wait. 596 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:10,785 Assemble the cousins. 597 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,743 Today, we learned that Pappy Boyle's death 598 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:13,875 was not foul play. 599 00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,877 But even though there was no murder, 600 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,226 there was a robbery. 601 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,881 Charles had his sense of self stolen from him 602 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,187 by Sam Boyle. 603 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,840 You said it yourself, Charles, 604 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:25,147 the Boyles have a long history of cousin-on-cousin jealousy. 605 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,845 Sam couldn't stand that you were chosen to give the eulogy. 606 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,456 Think about it. 607 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:30,979 It was Sam who made sure we knew the will was missing. 608 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,286 - We can't find Pappy's will. 609 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:36,463 - Then Sam again who suggested you all get your DNA tested. 610 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,769 - Why not take a hair from every Boyle? 611 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,598 - And finally, Sam who made sure we all knew the results. 612 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,600 - Did you get the DNA report back? 613 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,907 This is ridiculous. I love Charles. 614 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,300 - Okay, well then. 615 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,562 I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving him a hug then. 616 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,824 Since you love him so much. 617 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:53,088 - Sure. I always like to hug my cousin. 618 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,655 - He's gushing! 619 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:55,569 - Darn it. 620 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,266 I thought these would hide it, 621 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,660 but I gushed through my pit diapers. 622 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,052 All right, fine. 623 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:03,359 I always suspected that Charles wasn't one of us. 624 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,405 I mean, he went through puberty at 13, 625 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,015 instead of 25, 626 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,843 like a normal Boyle. 627 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:12,020 And when he got chosen to give the eulogy, 628 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,848 something inside of me snapped. 629 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,197 So I hid the will. 630 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,459 I admit it. 631 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,504 Are you happy now? 632 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:18,766 - Very. - Not at all. 633 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,637 - Wait, what? Charles, we solved the case. 634 00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,813 He confessed. - Doesn't matter. 635 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,511 I'm still not a Boyle. 636 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:28,210 I'm just a normal person. 637 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,560 Normal from snout to anus. 638 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,522 - We wanted to apologize. 639 00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,307 - And if you wanna gloat about how you outsmarted us, 640 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,787 go ahead. We deserve it. 641 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,571 - I won't be doing any gloating. 642 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,573 I mean, I did last night. I went home and had a drink 643 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,880 to toast to your humiliation. 644 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:46,968 But it didn't feel right, 645 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,143 because I had no one to toast with, 646 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,536 no one to share my glee. 647 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:53,931 I had won, but I was alone. 648 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,716 And I realized, 649 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,414 this is exactly what I'm doing to Kevin. 650 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,808 Trying to win therapy. 651 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,244 And it hit me. 652 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:06,248 I care so much about winning 653 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,643 that I've lost everything. 654 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,732 - Tell Kevin how you feel. 655 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,387 - It's raining. You could run to him. 656 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,866 - This is the real world, Santiago. 657 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:19,870 Relationships end in unsatisfying ways every day. 658 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,872 People don't run to each other in the rain. 659 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,266 - Raymond! Raymond Holt! 660 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,355 - Kevin? 661 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,880 - Raymond! 662 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,061 Raymond, am I too late? 663 00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,411 - Too late? 664 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,847 - My friend saw your dating profile 665 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,023 and your photo without collar stays. 666 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:44,286 I thought I'd lost you. 667 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,333 - You will never lose me. 668 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,769 I'll do anything to keep you. 669 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,988 I'll compromise on everything. The work, the— 670 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:05,525 - Nancy Meyers never fails. 671 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,875 - Now that we're doing it, it feels kinda weird 672 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,616 to be staring at your friends while they kiss. 673 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,358 - Are you kidding? It's beautiful. 674 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:18,842 - I love you. 675 00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:22,019 - Okay, I'm packed. Let's go home. 676 00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,369 - Charles, I'm sorry. 677 00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,761 I feel like this was all my fault. 678 00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,328 - Why? Did you inseminate my mother? 679 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,590 - What? Ew, no. 680 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,766 - Don't say ew. She's my one blood relation. 681 00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,203 Remember, I'm not a real Boyle. 682 00:21:32,247 --> 00:21:33,727 - Okay, fine. 683 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:34,989 Maybe you're not a real Boyle. 684 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:36,033 But what if 685 00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:37,034 you're a true Boyle? 686 00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:38,471 What if 687 00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:39,863 you're The One True Boyle? 688 00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,125 - No, no. You want me to open 689 00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:42,126 the Grandmother Dough. 690 00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,302 That jar is stuck shut. 691 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:44,955 Nobody's ever been able to do it. 692 00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,348 - But you have to try. 693 00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:48,568 Terry, go grab it. 694 00:21:48,611 --> 00:21:51,875 All right, now let's reassemble those cousins. 695 00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,661 - I'm not gonna be able to do this, 696 00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,489 and I'm gonna be even more humiliated. 697 00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,752 - Just try. I believe in you. 698 00:22:00,623 --> 00:22:02,408 So did you loosen it? 699 00:22:02,451 --> 00:22:03,713 - I tried, but it's slippery, 700 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:04,671 and that thing is sealed on tight. 701 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,150 I couldn't budge it. 702 00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:08,544 - Oh, no. Uh, hey, Charles. 703 00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:10,198 Remember when I said that I believed in you? 704 00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,417 - Yes. 705 00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:12,374 It's the entire reason I'm doing this. 706 00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,289 - Oh. Godspeed. 707 00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:29,957 - Ah! 708 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,827 I did it! 709 00:22:30,871 --> 00:22:32,394 - He's The One True Boyle. 710 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,268 - Oh, my God. What is that stench? 711 00:22:37,312 --> 00:22:38,574 It's the Grandmother Dough. 712 00:22:38,618 --> 00:22:39,706 - It smells horrible. 713 00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:42,404 - Not to a Boyle. 714 00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:45,712 Pappy's hugs were long and firm. 715 00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,061 - Okay, here's what I think might've happened. 716 00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,193 You loosened the jar, but you didn't realize it 717 00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:50,325 because you're a Godzilla man, 718 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,848 and you don't know your own strength. 719 00:22:51,892 --> 00:22:53,546 - First of all, thank you for calling me a Godzilla man. 720 00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,025 - Yeah. - Secondly, that's not it. 721 00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:56,679 The jar was too slippery. - All right, how about this? 722 00:22:56,723 --> 00:22:58,464 Charles was so freaked out about not being a Boyle 723 00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:00,988 that he got an adrenaline rush, and that made him stronger. 724 00:23:01,031 --> 00:23:02,946 - Or maybe Charles is the One True Boyle. 725 00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,209 - And I know that Pappy's up there 726 00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:07,429 shopping for beige slacks 727 00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:10,693 at that Mervyn's in the sky. 728 00:23:10,737 --> 00:23:13,392 Ah, Mervyn's! 729 00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:14,915 - Yeah, he's the One True Boyle. 730 00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:17,091 - Not a doctor. Shh. 731 00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:18,571 - Fremulon.