1 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:17,680 Don't touch your face. 2 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,560 It feels like a piece of ham. 3 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,440 Okay, I have got room temperature soup, 4 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,840 some ice cream, and a little smoothie but no straw 5 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,880 because I've done some reading on dry socket 6 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,669 and it's really fucked up and there's no way my girl's getting it. 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,800 You're the one for me. 8 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,120 Do you reckon? 9 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,640 Like, how often does this shit happen? 10 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,040 It's cosmic shit, like, I didn't even know you, 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:45,120 boom, I love you and we've got a dog. 12 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,680 - I know, I know. - I always wanted a dog. 13 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,120 It's amazing, isn't it? 14 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,000 - He's so great. - Yeah. 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,320 Not Mum, I don't want her. 16 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,040 - Meggles? - Meggles, yeah. 17 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,594 - Hey! It's my best girl. 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,994 - "It's my best girl"? Oh, look at you. 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,200 - "It's my best girl"? Oh, look at you. 20 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:04,239 A man stole my wisdom teeth and I paid him for it. 21 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,120 I hope you're not too high for this, 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,400 but, um, I want to ask you something. 23 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:10,880 Oh, shit. 24 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,200 Ashley Marie Molden, 25 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,080 will you be my maid of honour? 26 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,560 You got engaged! 27 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,200 Rumi asked me last night 28 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,080 after we saw her friend's one-woman show. 29 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,640 Oh, sounds awful. 30 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,840 Hey, hey, Meggles, congratulations, that's huge. 31 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,560 - This is Gordon. - Thank you, Gordy. 32 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,000 I mean, obviously, you don't like her, but... 33 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,320 Hey, hey, come on, I like her. If you like her, I like her. 34 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,114 - God, you've got good hair. - There you go. 35 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,320 Well, I love her, so it's happening. 36 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,120 Whoa, speedy Susans. 37 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,720 Well, that brings me to my next question. 38 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:49,240 Um, will you be my maid of honour this weekend? 39 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,840 - What? - Rumi's parents own a restaurant, 40 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,680 so we thought, fuck it, pop-up wedding, let's go. 41 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,120 But my big face. 42 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,994 It's five days away, you'll be fine. 43 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,080 It's five days away, you'll be fine. 44 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,720 No, Meggles, I'm not going to be fine. 45 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,400 Okay, hopefully, when you come down, you'll just be happy for us. 46 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,039 - Huh? - Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye. 47 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,000 - She's gone. - Oh. 48 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:12,800 - She's mad at me. 49 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,440 - Oh, well, she'll be all right. 50 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,000 - Who's getting married? - Not sure. 51 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,560 You can touch your face, eh? 52 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,800 Yeah, I can touch my... You can touch my face. 53 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,880 - Gentle. - Yeah. 54 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:24,840 - Oh. - Don't touch... I know 55 00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:26,594 you want to touch it, but you can't touch it. 56 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,954 - I ain't touching it. - Don't touch it. 57 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,834 - Touch your face. Touch your face. - Touch his... Yeah. 58 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:30,760 - Now this one. - Don't touch it! 59 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,280 - All right. 60 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,960 Nuptu-ale was a stroke of genius on Brett's behalf. 61 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,960 Although, maybe leave the, um, graphic design to me, 62 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,240 because it's a little bit scissory. 63 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,514 Okay, this is looking good. I think our bar's going to slap. 64 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,640 And, Bretty, you came up on my Tinder this morning. 65 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,354 And I love you, but your profile's dog shit. 66 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,800 Oh. What are you talking about? 67 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,520 You have Year 12 rugby photos on there 68 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,640 and one with sunglasses on the back of your head. 69 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,840 Actually, give it to me. 70 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,480 Why is Colin in all your photos? 71 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,240 Oh, chicks love wheelchair dogs. 72 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,445 Use what you've got, Brett. 73 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,120 - I'm homeless. - No, you're not. You're a seafarer. 74 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,320 - Talk about water views. - Just say 75 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,760 that you're chief executive officer of a microbrewery. 76 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,120 - For real? - But that's you. 77 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,760 Just say you're chief operations officer of a microbrewery. 78 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,382 - Sweet! - But I am. That's what I am. 79 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,440 - Are you? - Yes. 80 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,560 Okay, you're chief fucking... 81 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,080 - executive brewer. - Am I, though? 82 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,160 Of course you are, mate! 83 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,360 Yeah, we're firing on all cylinders again. 84 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,440 Daddy's taking care of all his babies. 85 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,274 - Thanks, Daddy. - Okay, stop saying "daddy". 86 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,840 - I am your daddy! - I'm your daddy. 87 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,160 - Okay, just a wee... 88 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,160 heart starter, I think. 89 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,280 Now, don't forget you're working, Crappster. 90 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,040 No, you're working, Crappster. 91 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,640 I'm basically in the bridal party. 92 00:03:59,720 --> 00:03:59,995 Hey, listen, could you two do me a favour today 93 00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,714 Hey, listen, could you two do me a favour today 94 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,320 and just make a bit of a big show of how pretty Ash is? 95 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,720 She's always pretty. 96 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,040 - Yeah, beautiful girl. - Yeah, good, good. Say that. 97 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:10,520 How do I look? 98 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,840 You look... good. 99 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,160 You look good. 100 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,600 - Is the tan too much? - Nup. 101 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,800 Yeah, because I said two-hour regular but she sold me on the two-hour dark 102 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,130 because there's probably going to be flash photography. 103 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,480 Why did you get a tan, though? 104 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,400 Just because my face was all puffy from the wizzys, 105 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,760 so then I cut my own fringe, 106 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,834 thinking that it would give my face a bit more structure, 107 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,594 but it made me look fat, so then I got the spray tan to look skinny. 108 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,794 But is it too much? She said it would still look natural. 109 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,160 - It does. - Yeah, cool. 110 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,960 Yeah, but, like, we can't have three brides today, so I just, 111 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,800 I need you to chill out, okay? 112 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:45,080 Oh, totally. I'm just trying to look good for you. 113 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,040 Oh, I feel sick. 114 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,040 Hey, hey, listen to me. 115 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080 Meggles, you know, you don't have to do this 116 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,874 because we can just say that you've got a stomach bug or something, 117 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,400 and I can get you out of here, 118 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,314 get a hotel room in the city on Mum's points, 119 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,994 and we can just wait it out until this whole thing blows over. 120 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,394 and we can just wait it out until this whole thing blows over. 121 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,600 No, I want to get married. 122 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,280 Good! See? That was a test. 123 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,514 Look, I know you don't like her. 124 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:08,840 Oh, I like her. 125 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:09,920 - Ash. - Yeah? 126 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,280 - Come on. - No! 127 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,600 I don't know what you mean, dog. She's, hmm... 128 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,440 - I know she's a lot. - Mm. 129 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,800 But when I'm with her... 130 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:19,840 I feel like me. 131 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,160 And I've been looking for that for a while. 132 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,480 And you know what that's like. 133 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,160 - With Gordy? - Yeah. 134 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,920 Yeah. But I'm not marrying him today. 135 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,720 - What... Would you ever? - Well, maybe. 136 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,320 Have to be a pretty killer proposal. 137 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,160 - Wow, you just got really basic. - I know. I felt that. 138 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,880 - I really am basic. - Yeah, look at you. 139 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,280 - Darling, could... - Hi, Dad! 140 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,600 Oh! My little girl. Look at you. 141 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,920 - Mum would have been so proud. - Oh, I think so too. 142 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,400 She would have been backing you all the way. 143 00:05:59,480 --> 00:05:59,995 Oh my God. She would have loved it. 144 00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:01,960 Oh my God. She would have loved it. 145 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,360 Ooh! Hello? 146 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,520 - Oh. 147 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,840 Hi, Bernie. 148 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,160 Hello... you? 149 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:09,880 It's Ash. 150 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,280 Of course it is! Sorry, Ash. 151 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,120 I like your, um... 152 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,225 Megs, I'm ravenous. What's there to eat? 153 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,120 Oh, sorry. Food's not here till three. 154 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,400 Three. 155 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,880 - What are you eating, Ash? - Nothing. 156 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,680 Oh, I do beg your pardon. Um... 157 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,280 I'll... go get... 158 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,920 - Does it look like I'm eating? 159 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,960 - To life. To love. 160 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,360 - Uh-oh. Don't leave that up here. - So sorry to interrupt. 161 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,240 I'm just looking for a... a spot to put these. Just be a sec. 162 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,520 - Hi, Rumi. - Hi. 163 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,000 Do you have a sec? Could I grab you? 164 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,600 What can I do for you, good sire? 165 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,360 Thanks for asking, my liege. 166 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,040 No, seriously, I wanted to just 167 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,880 apologize in person for dinner the other night, 168 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,160 and I wanted to also thank you for trusting us 169 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,720 with your alcohol service today, 170 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,200 and we just want you to have a very special day. 171 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,040 Sounds like it was written by AI. 172 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,520 It wasn't. 173 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,309 - Did Ash tell you to say that? - She did. 174 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,400 - Yeah. - Yep, yep, yep. 175 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,689 Do you need a hand with that? 176 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:36,720 - Okay, mate. It's just 177 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,274 they're hard to do, and I know how to do it. That's all. 178 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,240 Oh, I know. I've just been sitting here. 179 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,440 I don't know how to do it. I'm so helpless. 180 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,760 Thank heaven you came in. 181 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,560 Okay, mate. Nice hat, by the way. 182 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:47,520 You can go now. 183 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,880 - Fuck me. - I will not. 184 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,320 - There you are. - Hey, yes, I am! 185 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,840 And I'm just leaving this particular room, though. 186 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,560 - Hello! - Hi. 187 00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,994 Oh, um, crew, this is M's maid of honour, Ash. 188 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,600 Oh, um, crew, this is M's maid of honour, Ash. 189 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,360 Who's M? Oh, M. Yeah, that's cute. 190 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,834 Yeah, it's me. I'm the maid of honour. 191 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,120 I had my wisdom teeth out. Probably can't tell. 192 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:14,680 Oh, yeah, a bit old-fashioned, but, yeah, nice. Nice tradition. 193 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,680 It's nice to be asked, but, yeah. 194 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,320 Not a maid. Wink, wink. 195 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,280 I'm Rumi's maid of honour, Hayley. 196 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,280 - Oh, really? - What? 197 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,000 I... I just thought, um, 198 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,280 well, there's only one maid of honour, normally, 199 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,400 and I thought that that was me. 200 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:33,480 Normally? 201 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,799 Well, originally. 202 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,039 Right. 203 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,829 Well, I mean, if you prefer, you could be, 204 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:38,965 you know, person of honour. 205 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,200 No, I want to be Rumi's maid of honour. 206 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,560 It's just that I'm the maid of honour. 207 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,890 Sorry, I'm the maid of honour. 208 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,720 I'm... I'm wearing the dress, so I guess I'm the maid. 209 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,354 Well, you just said you weren't a maid. 210 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,440 Yeah, as a joke, because I'm not a virgin, you know? 211 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:54,520 Are you a virgin? 212 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,600 None of your business. 213 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,360 No, it's none of my business. 214 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,994 Ah! Guests arrive in 20 minutes. 215 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,200 Ah! Guests arrive in 20 minutes. 216 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,160 The ceremony starts at 4:00 p.m. sharp. 217 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,840 Please use the #suddenlycashmere, and #bouquetsandbuttonholes 218 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,629 can be picked up from me at 3:45, because I am the maid of honour. 219 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,640 Okay. 220 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,665 Look, I actually do need help with this. 221 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,920 - Hi. - Hi, welcome. 222 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,760 - Uh, Beer, Echo Park Brewery. - Thank you. 223 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:19,760 - Champagne's fine too. - Thanks. 224 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,200 Echo Park Brewery. Like us on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. 225 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,480 Echo Park Beer? 226 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,954 Yeah, please help yourself. Artisanally crafted for the event. 227 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,640 - What's he doing here? - Who? 228 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,600 It's Lee. 229 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,120 - Oh my God! Thank you. - It's so awkward. 230 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,000 I told Mum not to bring him. 231 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,000 - I'm sorry. Oh, Gordon, Gordon, Gordon! 232 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:35,880 - Um. 233 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,640 - Hey, hey. - Um, you have to kick Lee out. 234 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,120 Oh! What? 235 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,200 No, why? 236 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,200 Because... because Meggles and Rumi don't want him here. 237 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,440 - Okay. - You know, he makes 238 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,920 - people uncomfortable. - Yeah. 239 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,520 - Not the right vibe. 240 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,960 - Mm-mm! - Okay, yep, got it. 241 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,360 - Yep, yep. - Okay, Trish. 242 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,994 - Well, I'll see you on the dance floor. 243 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000 - See you there. 244 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,840 My God! She's had some bad work done. 245 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,994 - Hey, guys. Hey. - Oh, Gordon. 246 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,360 - Hey, guys. Hey. - Oh, Gordon. 247 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,240 - Oh! My boy. - Oh, hey! Hey, Lynelle, how are you? 248 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,680 Isn't this wonderful? What a marvellous day to celebrate 249 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,040 the love between two beautiful young women. 250 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah, about that. This is, I'm afraid, 251 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,520 it's a pop-up wedding, so for that reason, 252 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,720 there are no plus ones. I'm so sorry. 253 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,480 What about Joni and Walter? 254 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,852 I... I don't know who they are, 255 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,600 but, yeah, there's set meals is the thing, so, yeah. 256 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,720 Oh, well, Lee won't eat much. 257 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,360 - I'm fasting. - Oh, really? 258 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,594 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, that's... that's cool, 259 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,074 but... but the other thing is, it's... it's assigned seating, 260 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,234 - so, yeah, there's no... - Oh, no, he doesn't need a chair. 261 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,160 - I'll squat. Utkatasana. - Oh, come on, man. 262 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,120 - I... I... I... - He's my wedding gift! 263 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,240 Yes, it is true. 264 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,400 I plan to capture the sirens in celluloid forever. 265 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,394 Right, I think they've got a photographer, probably, so... 266 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,400 Yeah, listen, I guarantee you, that photographer 267 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,720 is off somewhere right now, 268 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,720 taking a close-up of someone's shoes, 269 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,280 which no one will look at ever. 270 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,314 - Well, be that as it may, I... - You see, I'm setting up 271 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,080 a locked-off camera for the ceremony. 272 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,000 I've got GoPros for the dance floor. 273 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,240 I have a drone in the car for sunset, 274 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,994 and some fun little cameras for the toilets. 275 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,154 and some fun little cameras for the toilets. 276 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,800 - What's that? - Just some Polaroids 277 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,880 while people freshen up. 278 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,360 Keepsakes. 279 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,754 - It's actually pretty good. - Mm-hmm. 280 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,994 I've put a lot of thought into it. 281 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,040 I wish you'd put a bit more thought into what you were wearing. 282 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,400 Well, I'm just getting into the spirit of things. 283 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,360 - It's revolting. - Um... I... 284 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,680 - Oh! Perfect. - Oh! 285 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:35,000 All right now, ladies and germs, a bit of hush. 286 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,520 That's right now. 287 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:43,080 Yep, phones away and pages, beepers, all away now. 288 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,080 Let's just be with our brides. 289 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,440 Hmm? Uncle Tony, I see you made it. 290 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,640 Very impressive. 291 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,160 What an honour it is 292 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,320 for me to be here today 293 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,994 at the wedding of my gorgeous niece Renee. 294 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,394 at the wedding of my gorgeous niece Renee. 295 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,360 Oh, sorry, Rumi. 296 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,960 Odd, I used to change her nappy as a baby. 297 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,520 - Remember Uncle Tony? 298 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,840 Oh, she had the most beautiful skin you've ever seen. 299 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:18,440 I babysat her and I used to inspect her feet 300 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,400 because she had the most exquisite feet you've ever seen on a child. 301 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,840 Truly! 302 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,680 I watched you grow 303 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:31,400 into the fully formed woman that you are today. 304 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,360 And even though you won't let me near your feet anymore... 305 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,800 I think you're just fantastic. 306 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,960 Thank you. Thank you, Aunty Peta. 307 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,600 - And those feet led you to Megan... - Yes! 308 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,840 - Who's, oh well! She's lovely too. 309 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:53,480 So, a poem for the happy couple by Pablo Neruda. 310 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,480 When I cannot look at your face 311 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,400 I look at your feet 312 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,680 Your feet of arched bone 313 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,520 Your hard little feet 314 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,960 I know that they support you 315 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,360 And that your sweet weight Rises upon them 316 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,480 Your waist and your breasts 317 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,600 The doubled, purple of your nipples 318 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,240 Your wide fruit mouth... 319 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,800 Is it weird being here for you? 320 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,720 Well, I left my husband of 17 years, for a girl I'd known for four minutes, 321 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,040 and a month later, I'm working at her wedding. 322 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,520 Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. 323 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,162 Look at my Tinder though. 324 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,680 Okay, last time I was single, I was having sex with guys this age. 325 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,474 I've gone off, I've had a whole life. I made three humans. 326 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,914 I've come back, and I can still have sex with guys this age, 327 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,640 except, like, as a hot, experienced woman. 328 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,154 Hey, get your phone out. Let's have a look at yours. 329 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,160 Oh, yeah! 330 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,360 Got my eye on that little tadpole, Mr Pink. 331 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,160 - Hmm, sexy. - Yeah. 332 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,834 Oh, shit, okay, quickly, it's nearly over. 333 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,720 Grab the... grab the champagne. 334 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,640 I now pronounce you wife and wife. 335 00:13:59,720 --> 00:13:59,995 And you may kiss the bride. 336 00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:02,080 And you may kiss the bride. 337 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,040 Yeah, okay, okay, that's enough. 338 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,520 - All right, that... that'll do. 339 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,480 I mean, it's not Love Island, is it? 340 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:14,800 No. 341 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:19,800 All right, we're going to sort out the tattooed wedding rings now. 342 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,080 Other than that, I'll see you on the V floor. 343 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,360 - Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 344 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,880 Bit of housekeeping. 345 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,960 Don't use... there's two toilets down the end. 346 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,960 Don't use the second one. That's out of order. 347 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,680 I found out the hard way. 348 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,920 But enjoy your night, 349 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,360 and I'll go and touch base with Tammy. 350 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,520 It's called Men of Men. 351 00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,994 And... and this is an app, or...? 352 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,160 And... and this is an app, or...? 353 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,634 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it will be. - Uh-huh. 354 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,400 So, basically, you're a part of a dwindling monarchy, 355 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,800 - and the chalice has been... - Mm-hmm. 356 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,720 - In the family for generations. - Right. 357 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,640 But the person who drank the poison doesn't know until the end. 358 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,840 - Right. - There's also a village idiot... 359 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,514 - Uh-huh. - Who can hand out these idiot cards. 360 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,074 Now, if you get one of those, you've got to forget 361 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,320 - every armoury card you ever had. - Oh, wow! 362 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,560 So, you've got the silversmith, 363 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,057 - the blacksmith, the goldsmith. - Mm-hmm. A lot of smiths. 364 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,960 - Hey. - Hi. 365 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,680 You like to dance, Lynelle? 366 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,400 - I love to dance. - Hmm. 367 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,080 - Could have gone professional. - Oh, I bet you could. Hmm! 368 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,800 I thought you were absolutely fantastic, uh, the other day at the... 369 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,280 Oh, thank you! Well, it's for a good cause. 370 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,360 Well, I don't know about that, but you were... you were tops. 371 00:15:59,240 --> 00:15:59,994 What do you mean? 372 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,200 What do you mean? 373 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,640 Well, about the cause. What, it's Lee's cause? 374 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,920 Well, no, it's Women Against Women Against... 375 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,459 Sorry, I know what it is, but we... 376 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,360 we are at a lesbian wedding, so I wouldn't... 377 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,680 Oh, lesbians can be against women. 378 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,520 Well, I... I think they prefer to be, don't they? 379 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,080 - Oh! 380 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,234 Probably shouldn't joke about that. 381 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,720 Oh! You can't joke about anything anymore. 382 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,720 Hmm. 383 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,160 Hi. 384 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,680 - Having fun there? 385 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,960 You know, these people... 386 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,680 are so beautiful and free. 387 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,000 But I don't think that they really want me here, 388 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,760 so I'm just wall-flowering. 389 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,240 - I'm sure they want you here. - No, no, they don't. 390 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,920 They're all about acceptance, but they don't accept me. 391 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,400 The world is a harsh place for a straight, white, older gent. 392 00:16:59,920 --> 00:16:59,995 What I'm, somewhat clumsily reaching for here, Lynelle, 393 00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:03,440 What I'm, somewhat clumsily reaching for here, Lynelle, 394 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,440 is that I think you're a very vivacious, very attractive woman. 395 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,599 - Oh, thank you. - You're welcome. 396 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,319 And I've always really enjoyed our, you know, 397 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,920 our Farmville games and our Facebook banter. 398 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,400 - So have I. - Your Wordle streak is exceptional. 399 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,400 - It is! - Yes. 400 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,560 So, um... 401 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,079 Yeah, I just want you to know, that if you ever, 402 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,079 fancy being treated like the queen that you are, 403 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,240 my door is always open. 404 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,760 Message received, Bernie. 405 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,320 I... I think the key with all of this stuff is, 406 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,434 from my experience anyway, is just listening to... 407 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,320 I mean, no one even asked me, my pronouns. 408 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,520 Not one. 409 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,720 Well, they don't ask me either, mate. 410 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,920 But if someone would just ask, instead of assuming. 411 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,600 Okay. What are your pronouns, Lee? 412 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:11,880 He. 413 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:13,960 It. 414 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,800 Oh. That fits. 415 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,760 - Would it like a drink? - Yes, yes, it would. 416 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,800 You know, in my... in my day, you didn't get to choose. 417 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,960 You're either A or B, and most of us just chose A just to fit in. 418 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,600 But if I'm to be terribly honest, there's plenty of B in me. 419 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,280 I mean, we've all sucked a cock or two, haven't we? 420 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,240 - Have we? - Of course we have. 421 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,320 Hey. How's the fringe? 422 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,160 Does it look like I got it done proper, 423 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,240 or that I cut it myself high on opioids? 424 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,040 You look beautiful, Ash. 425 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,200 Stop. 426 00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,914 What about these ones? You think they're gonna make it? 427 00:18:59,920 --> 00:18:59,993 Oh, I... I couldn't tell you. 428 00:18:59,999 --> 00:19:01,240 Oh, I... I couldn't tell you. 429 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,362 You know what? Fuck it! They could outlast us all. 430 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,720 - Not us. No. Yeah. - No, no, not us. Not us. 431 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,560 Come here. 432 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:16,920 Yeah? 433 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,280 - I love you, Ashley. - Ooh! 434 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,040 - First time you've said that! - I know. 435 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,600 - Am I cool about it? - Pretty cool. 436 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,880 You've left me hanging. 437 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,000 I have thrown it out there a couple of times. 438 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,200 - Have you? - Yeah, and I've died. 439 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,480 I'm sorry. I'm a bit slow. 440 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,640 I love you too. 441 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:39,840 - Yeah? - Yeah. 442 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,120 - Why do you smell funny? - Oh, is it my mouth? 443 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,640 No, no, it's... Oh, it's... 444 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,880 - Oh! - Oh, it's the tan. 445 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,840 - It... Oh! It smells like a mix of... No. 446 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:54,800 - Don't, don't! 447 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,360 It's... it's like... it's like an apartment. 448 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,240 - Mm-hmm. - But... 449 00:19:59,320 --> 00:19:59,995 it's had a high turnover of... 450 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:01,251 it's had a high turnover of... 451 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,520 - Tenancies. - Yes. 452 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,840 - Yeah. - With some low-level 453 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,760 - drug crime in there. - Yeah, look. 454 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,240 - These walls have seen a lot. - Hmm. I'm into it. 455 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,424 Bretty, can you get rid of these, mate? 456 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,600 - Gordonza! - Ah, Jimmy Dean! 457 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,874 - How you going, brother? - How are you, man? 458 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,634 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, good, man. - Yeah, good? 459 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,320 - Having a good time? - Yeah. 460 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,880 Yeah, yeah. Yeah! 461 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,800 Hey, we're all good, eh? 462 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,560 No hard feelings? You got the girl, all good. 463 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,224 - Yeah, thanks, man. I appreciate that. 464 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,240 - Hmm. 465 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,994 Yeah. Yeah. All right. 466 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000 Yeah. Yeah. All right. 467 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,634 Yeah, we texted for a little at the start of your thing. 468 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,880 But then I realized, yeah, I'd lost her, and I... I want to respect that. 469 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,800 Thanks, man. 470 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,440 That's cool. 471 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,400 - You all right? - Yeah, man, I'm... 472 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,200 - I'm knee-deep in poon so I'm good. - Ah, yeah. 473 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,464 But if I could do it all again, I'd probably do it differently. 474 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,999 She'll probably always be the one that got away. 475 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,320 Hey, cheers anyway, man. 476 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,800 - Hmm. 477 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,040 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 478 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,160 Yeah. It's probably enough hugs anyway. Cool. 479 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,360 Sorry to hear about your old man. 480 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,280 Thanks, man. 481 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,560 - Life only goes in one direction, eh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. 482 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,920 Did he get to meet Ashy? 483 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,320 Yeah, he did, yeah, yeah. 484 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,800 - That's special. - Yeah. 485 00:21:59,560 --> 00:21:59,994 Yeah. 486 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Yeah. 487 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:26,480 Oh my God! Look! 488 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,280 Ashy? 489 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,394 - Gordon, what are you doing? - You and I are the best. 490 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,440 We're just the best, and it makes so much sense to me. 491 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,240 And I want you to marry me. 492 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,440 Will you marry me, Ash? 493 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,800 Gordon, will you please get up? 494 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840 This is... It's... 495 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,560 This is not our night. 496 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,994 - You're embarrassing him, darling. - It's okay. It's okay. 497 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,114 - You're embarrassing him, darling. - It's okay. It's okay. 498 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,440 Please, just get up. 499 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,160 Really? 500 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,440 Because we can... 501 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,480 we can talk about this later. 502 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,840 - Gor... - Ta-da! 503 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,600 It's a joke. It was a joke. It was... it was a full joke. 504 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,200 - Do you guys not get jokes? 505 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,400 Come on, fucking hell. It was... it was... 506 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep filming. Oh, must film it. 507 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,074 Don't watch with your eyes and remember with your brain. 508 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,200 - Must be filming at all times. - She said no. 509 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,520 No, she didn't say no, because it wasn't a real... 510 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,040 You know what, your generation does not get humour at all. 511 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,360 Sorry, but it's been said. 512 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,120 Freddy, come on. Music, brother. 513 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,234 You're killing the vibe, man. What's happening? 514 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,907 - Sorry, I unplugged my phone to film it. 515 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:52,920 - Fuck's sake, dude. 516 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,360 Thank you!