1
00:00:01,785 --> 00:00:03,454
I would like to thank you guys

2
00:00:03,454 --> 00:00:06,124
for filling out these anonymous
evaluation cards.

3
00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:08,159
I found your feedback

4
00:00:08,159 --> 00:00:10,561
to be largely constructive
and flattering.

5
00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:12,196
So, gracias on that.
De nada.

6
00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:14,198
Don't have to sign your name.
Got it.

7
00:00:14,198 --> 00:00:16,934
But there was one evaluation

8
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,736
that was so harsh

9
00:00:18,736 --> 00:00:22,273
and hurtful and racist

10
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:26,344
I took the time personally
to analyze that handwriting

11
00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:28,012
against past exams.

12
00:00:28,979 --> 00:00:32,216
And this particular coward,

13
00:00:32,216 --> 00:00:38,422
dots her I's with tiny,
itty-bitty, little circles.

14
00:00:38,422 --> 00:00:41,025
Poo, poo.

15
00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:43,627
Ain't that precious and cute.

16
00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:49,200
Princess Gringa.

17
00:00:52,703 --> 00:00:57,741
Nice day out today, isn't it?
Yeah, shoot.

18
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:00,811
You forget something?

19
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,681
I forgot to stagger the timing
of my exit with Shirley's.

20
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:05,483
We both have a class
across campus

21
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:08,419
and I can't go that distance
with "Oh, that's nice."

22
00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:11,189
That's mean.
No, that's not nice.

23
00:01:11,189 --> 00:01:13,357
I find Shirley
very easy to talk to.

24
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:16,994
Aren't you supposed to have
a gold medal in jibber jabber?

25
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,829
Yeah, but I'm a sprinter.

26
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,665
I'm at my best during
high speed bursts of wit.

27
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,933
On a Shirley walk,

28
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,502
I'd be winded
by that stoner tree.

29
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:27,938
Hey, Britta. Hi. What's up?
How's it going?

30
00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:30,040
No worries.
Interesting.

31
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,409
Because I might be worried

32
00:01:31,409 --> 00:01:33,611
if I was playing hacky sack
a decade too late.

33
00:01:33,611 --> 00:01:35,613
My class is that way.
All right.

34
00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:37,648
I wanna point out
we easily walked

35
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:40,251
more than a hundred yards
with no awkward pauses.

36
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,220
That is the sign
of a true friend. So...

37
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:45,389
I'm really glad you're not
hitting on me anymore.

38
00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,392
There's the awkward pause.

39
00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:51,329
Aah!

40
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,134
Excuse me. Oh, pardon me.

41
00:01:56,134 --> 00:01:59,170
Professor Duncan.
Professor Duncan.

42
00:01:59,170 --> 00:02:01,038
Uh, ooh, sorry.
Annie Edison,

43
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,906
I'm in your 101 lecture.
Oh. Hello.

44
00:02:02,906 --> 00:02:04,575
I've heard about
your psych lab.

45
00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:06,777
The Duncan Principle.
Yes.

46
00:02:06,777 --> 00:02:10,481
I know it's limited, but
I had a 4.0 at Riverside High.

47
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:12,350
I'm not looking down
on this school,

48
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,985
But I'm here because
of an addiction to pills

49
00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:16,587
I was told would help me focus

50
00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:19,056
but made me lose
my scholarship and virginity.

51
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,392
Right.
Let me take your lab early,

52
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,594
it would be a feather
in my transcript.

53
00:02:23,594 --> 00:02:26,029
I've been in this
situation many times,

54
00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:27,598
so I'm just gonna be upfront.

55
00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:29,633
I'm not allowed
to date students.

56
00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:32,002
Oh. I was—
Though you're an eight.

57
00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:33,404
Which is a British ten.

58
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:34,938
Oh.
I'm angry.

59
00:02:34,938 --> 00:02:38,376
But if you are still interested,
you may join the lab.

60
00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:40,010
Oh!
Ah.

61
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:43,681
Okay, you need to bring
two human subjects.

62
00:02:43,681 --> 00:02:47,151
And wouldn't hurt your chances
if you could lend me a fiver.

63
00:02:47,151 --> 00:02:48,686
I seem to left my purse

64
00:02:48,686 --> 00:02:51,822
in my duffle
in the boot of my lorry, so—

65
00:02:51,822 --> 00:02:55,626
I asked politely and the panda
took his pants off.

66
00:02:55,626 --> 00:02:57,961
I never knew
what asexual meant.

67
00:02:57,961 --> 00:03:01,399
I wonder what this
express package could be.

68
00:03:01,399 --> 00:03:03,467
Somebody had to get
something to me fast.

69
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,469
You brought your mail to campus.

70
00:03:05,469 --> 00:03:07,638
Oh, yes. My Ear-Noculars.

71
00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,740
What is that? Looks like
your blue-tooth.

72
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:13,110
No, no, no.
This is my cell phone headset.

73
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:18,449
And this is Ear-Noculars.

74
00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:20,451
For spies.
Gives you sonic hearing.

75
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,320
All hearing is sonic.
What's that?

76
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,955
So who wants to be
in a psych experiment?

77
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,325
Hey, guys, guys.

78
00:03:27,325 --> 00:03:30,361
Annie is talking
about some kind of experiment.

79
00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:32,863
She's behind you.
Not interested.

80
00:03:32,863 --> 00:03:34,565
Please. You get paid.

81
00:03:34,565 --> 00:03:37,535
Do they do stuff to your butt?
No.

82
00:03:37,535 --> 00:03:40,070
Do you get paid more
if they do stuff to your butt?

83
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,506
No.
It's fine, I'll do it, I'm in.

84
00:03:42,506 --> 00:03:46,310
How about you? It's tomorrow.
Oof. Tomorrow,

85
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,446
they're showing all four
Indiana Joneses.

86
00:03:48,446 --> 00:03:51,249
I'm looking forward to the first
three. I bought a whip.

87
00:03:51,249 --> 00:03:53,451
This is important to me,
Abed.

88
00:03:53,451 --> 00:03:57,321
Could you go as my friend?
My really good friend?

89
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,390
I didn't realize
we're good friends.

90
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:01,559
I figured we were
like Chandler and Phoebe.

91
00:04:01,559 --> 00:04:03,761
They never had stories
together.

92
00:04:03,761 --> 00:04:06,430
Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.
Oh, thank you, Abed.

93
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:08,699
Oh.
I'm gonna go save Britta

94
00:04:08,699 --> 00:04:11,902
from that dude.
Looks like she's in trouble.

95
00:04:11,902 --> 00:04:14,772
Hope he doesn't try
to handsome her to death. Ha-ha.

96
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:17,308
Hey.
What's up, man?

97
00:04:17,308 --> 00:04:19,109
Hi, I'm Vaughn.
You in line?

98
00:04:19,109 --> 00:04:21,679
Oh, no, no.
We're just chilling.

99
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:25,416
You're not gonna order coffee?
No, just seeing if Britta—

100
00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:27,418
No judgment, bro.
I used to do coffee.

101
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:29,219
Then I made the switch
to green tea,

102
00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:33,056
it's like filled
with these antioxidants.

103
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:34,458
It's pretty tight.

104
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:37,561
Tight. Yes, I've heard that
about green tea.

105
00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:40,230
I like green tea.
I should make the change.

106
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,766
Up top, sugar bear.

107
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:45,135
Yeah, give me some of that.
Small coffee.

108
00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,606
Britta's making the change
to green tea.

109
00:04:48,606 --> 00:04:50,474
Good. It'll be a scandal.

110
00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:52,943
Welcome, research assistants.

111
00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:56,547
Turn your attention
to the monitor,

112
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,449
you will see
our subjects are waiting

113
00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:00,851
for the experiment to begin.
But...

114
00:05:00,851 --> 00:05:03,921
it's actually happening
right now.

115
00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:06,724
Oh, wow.

116
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,992
You see,
the waiting is the experiment.

117
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:12,630
The Duncan Principle is simple.
The more control lost by—

118
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:14,998
Yeah, I'm gonna write
this down too.

119
00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:16,300
That's a good point.

120
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,035
The more control lost
by the ego,

121
00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:21,539
the more gained by the id.

122
00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:24,375
Resulting
in a surprisingly predictable,

123
00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:27,210
emotional eruption
or breaking point.

124
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:32,316
Known to Ma and Pa
as a good old-fashioned tantrum.

125
00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:36,454
Oh. Annie.

126
00:05:36,454 --> 00:05:39,357
Why don't you, uh, go
and tell our subjects

127
00:05:39,357 --> 00:05:41,459
we're gonna be starting
in five minutes.

128
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,397
And, Annie,

129
00:05:46,397 --> 00:05:48,799
it's never actually
going to start.

130
00:05:48,799 --> 00:05:50,534
Ha-ha-ha.

131
00:05:52,336 --> 00:05:54,304
Let's do this.

132
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,741
Hi, everyone.

133
00:05:57,741 --> 00:06:01,812
Hi, Troy. Hi, Abed.
Hi, Señor Chang.

134
00:06:01,812 --> 00:06:05,616
What, community college Spanish
teacher can't use 80 bucks?

135
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:09,653
Well, we're just running
a little bit behind,

136
00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:12,122
so we'll probably start
in about five minutes.

137
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,957
No, no, no!

138
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:18,662
No, no, no!
It's unacceptable, right?

139
00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:22,332
You lied to me! When you say
something starts at 9,

140
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,768
it starts at nueve.

141
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:31,274
No, no!

142
00:06:31,274 --> 00:06:34,344
Houston, we have an idiot.

143
00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:42,024
Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES
Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext

144
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:47,791
Did you know we walk
the same way after class?

145
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:50,561
You didn't or else we would've
been walking together,

146
00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:53,397
unless you're a jerk, hmm,
just kidding. Heh-heh.

147
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:54,765
Let's do it.
Mm-hm.

148
00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:57,835
Don't go too fast
for these dogs. Short legs.

149
00:07:02,606 --> 00:07:04,408
Do you like Green—?
You got a kid?

150
00:07:04,408 --> 00:07:06,009
What's that?
Nothing.

151
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:12,950
So Pierce isn't exactly right
in the head, is he?

152
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:14,952
I know a lot of men
with radar dishes

153
00:07:14,952 --> 00:07:18,489
coming out of their ears.
He's like Inspector Gadget.

154
00:07:18,489 --> 00:07:20,524
Yeah, go go gadget incontinence.

155
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,626
How about that guy
flirting with Britta?

156
00:07:22,626 --> 00:07:24,695
I know. He's the worst.
Vaughn?

157
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:27,030
What is with his hair?
It's perpetually moist.

158
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,267
We're three hours in,
let's review what we've seen.

159
00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:31,602
And pay close attention

160
00:07:31,602 --> 00:07:33,471
to every subject's
breaking point.

161
00:07:33,471 --> 00:07:36,406
We've got a shouter.
Ah!

162
00:07:36,406 --> 00:07:38,408
That one's a stomper.
Bye, hippie.

163
00:07:38,408 --> 00:07:40,844
There's a generic whack job,

164
00:07:40,844 --> 00:07:43,213
bouncing up and down
like a 6-foot child.

165
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,016
Shaking, write that down.
Visible shakes.

166
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,251
Look at the little one
chase the big one,

167
00:07:48,251 --> 00:07:50,588
I can make them go quicker,
like Benny Hill.

168
00:07:50,588 --> 00:07:53,624
Whoo. Get them.

169
00:07:53,624 --> 00:07:56,560
That's very funny.
Lightens the mood.

170
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,497
And back to the present.

171
00:07:59,497 --> 00:08:01,331
And then there were two.

172
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:07,204
Break, break.

173
00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:20,250
No, no, no. Annie.
What is going on in there?

174
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,754
Why—? What is
taking so long?

175
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:28,626
I wasted all day
here for you.

176
00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:31,428
The Soul Train Awards
were tonight.

177
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,498
You promised...

178
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:42,606
And he's out. We got him.

179
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,341
It's strike three.
You're gone.

180
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:48,746
There's so much dust in here.
Know what?

181
00:08:48,746 --> 00:08:51,549
The longer they wait,
the harder they break.

182
00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:53,316
Buckle up, students.

183
00:08:53,316 --> 00:08:56,654
See how often Hacky Sack
takes his shirt off?

184
00:08:56,654 --> 00:08:58,989
He'd play shirts and skins
in a game of checkers.

185
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,158
I'm so glad to be able
to talk to someone.

186
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:03,293
I wanted to say
something to Britta.

187
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,496
We're supposed to be friends.
She'd think I was jealous.

188
00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,165
I don't see why
you aren't together.

189
00:09:08,165 --> 00:09:10,968
Two cute white people
going to school, seems right.

190
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,571
We're not pandas
in a zoo.

191
00:09:15,372 --> 00:09:16,640
Oh, Oh, dear.

192
00:09:18,942 --> 00:09:20,678
That is not what I want to see.

193
00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:27,718
And there goes the shirt.

194
00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:40,297
Hey.
Hey, I'm fine. Oh.

195
00:09:40,297 --> 00:09:42,733
Want me to, uh, check you
for grass stains?

196
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:45,736
I wasn't sure
how or when to bring up

197
00:09:45,736 --> 00:09:47,805
that I was hanging out
with Vaughn.

198
00:09:47,805 --> 00:09:50,307
I figured that you'd make
fun of him and me.

199
00:09:50,307 --> 00:09:51,909
Uh, First of all,

200
00:09:51,909 --> 00:09:53,611
friends don't make fun
of each other,

201
00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:56,747
even if they're being tackled
in the quad by a hippie.

202
00:09:56,747 --> 00:10:00,050
And secondly, Vaughn...

203
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:01,585
seems cool.

204
00:10:01,585 --> 00:10:03,887
You guys
should hang out sometime.

205
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,291
I gotta go. I, uh—

206
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:11,561
That was tacky out there,
you won't ever see that again.

207
00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:14,464
Oh, no worries, brah.

208
00:10:20,437 --> 00:10:22,906
Shirley.

209
00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:25,442
Did you see
Señor Chang's socks today?

210
00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:27,410
Tiny bullfighters.
Ha-ha.

211
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:30,280
I can top that. Did you see
Hacky Sack wears an anklet?

212
00:10:32,916 --> 00:10:35,085
Since when won't you talk
about Vaughn?

213
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:37,788
I'm trying to be
a good friend to Britta.

214
00:10:37,788 --> 00:10:39,757
She thought I was gonna
make fun of him,

215
00:10:39,757 --> 00:10:42,125
but I wanna be unpredictable.

216
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:45,963
I'm gonna show her that I'm not
the jerk she thinks I am.

217
00:10:45,963 --> 00:10:50,868
And friend the hell out of that
green-tea-drinking drum circler.

218
00:10:50,868 --> 00:10:53,336
Tell me you noticed
how small his nipples are.

219
00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:56,339
Not engaging.
What?
It's not gossip when it's fact.

220
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:58,742
My kids got hamsters
with bigger nips.
No.

221
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,811
Oh, well. Jeff.
No!

222
00:11:04,514 --> 00:11:07,751
Is— Is it on pause?

223
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,654
No, that's just him.

224
00:11:14,658 --> 00:11:19,296
Sorry you've been waiting
26 hours.

225
00:11:19,296 --> 00:11:21,564
It's just gonna be
another five minutes.

226
00:11:21,564 --> 00:11:22,933
Okey-dokey.

227
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,635
Okey-dokey.
Oh, my—

228
00:11:25,635 --> 00:11:27,671
Why won't he leave?

229
00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:29,239
Professor.
What?

230
00:11:29,239 --> 00:11:31,408
I'm sorry,
this guy's not moving.

231
00:11:31,408 --> 00:11:33,476
I have classes to go to.

232
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,078
Go, fine.

233
00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:39,282
Go kill John Lennon again,
you loser.

234
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,918
He's ruined my study.

235
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:43,987
He has warped
the Duncan Principle.

236
00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:47,691
Damn you,
you outlying piece of datum.

237
00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:49,292
Ow!

238
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,928
Aah!

239
00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:55,766
It's you.
It's your fault.

240
00:11:55,766 --> 00:11:57,968
But you told me
to bring subjects.

241
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,403
Yeah, subjects.
Not Rain Man.

242
00:12:00,403 --> 00:12:02,873
I should never have let you
into this lab,

243
00:12:02,873 --> 00:12:05,475
Miss Annie Fanny
Panties in a Bunch.

244
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,445
Oh. Oh, that's so hilarious.

245
00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:11,114
Think of that the last time
you skipped the dentist?

246
00:12:11,114 --> 00:12:14,351
Oh. Let me answer that question
with another question.

247
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:20,724
It's not fair.
It's not fair.

248
00:12:22,926 --> 00:12:25,062
What are you doing?
Stop writing.

249
00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:26,730
Put your— Give me that.

250
00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:29,232
Get out!
Get out, you dorks!

251
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:30,633
Get out!

252
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:37,775
You have destroyed
the Duncan Principle.

253
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,749
Go home!

254
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,121
Cool.

255
00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:53,791
See you.

256
00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:57,427
So, uh, Britta said that you did
a lot of community service.

257
00:12:57,427 --> 00:13:00,964
Ultimate Frisbee at the Senior's
Center. It is amazing.

258
00:13:00,964 --> 00:13:03,400
What makes Frisbee ultimate?
Ha-ha-ha.

259
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,870
If I had a nickel every time
I wished somebody asked me that.

260
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,572
- Gonna get dessert.
- Want anything?

261
00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:10,808
Carrots.

262
00:13:10,808 --> 00:13:12,943
Oh, I'm good.

263
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:15,078
Hey, you two.

264
00:13:15,078 --> 00:13:17,214
Hey.
Well, that's a cool shirt.

265
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,117
Thank you. Thank you very much.

266
00:13:20,117 --> 00:13:23,586
Where's it from?
Oh. Uh, psh— I don't even know.

267
00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:26,256
I guess it's, well— Uh...

268
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:28,291
Hey, look at that.
Hanes Classic.

269
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:29,526
Oh, that's nice.

270
00:13:29,526 --> 00:13:32,029
You know, people
underestimate the elderly,

271
00:13:32,029 --> 00:13:34,697
but you see these guys out there
throwing the 'bee,

272
00:13:34,697 --> 00:13:38,301
And they're just loving life.
It's just inspiring.

273
00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:41,238
You know, I'm gonna really—
I'm gonna think about it.

274
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:44,041
All right.
I'm gonna check on Brits.

275
00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:47,177
See you.
See you.

276
00:13:47,177 --> 00:13:49,612
You're the devil.
I know.

277
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,455
Plus— Okay.
I have a question.

278
00:13:58,455 --> 00:14:01,091
"Where do we go on Saturdays?"
You said, "Sunday."

279
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,660
I have a question for you.
You like Vaughn?

280
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,795
Oh, he— he's very cute.

281
00:14:05,795 --> 00:14:07,330
I'm just worried
he's thinking

282
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:10,767
a little bit more intensely
about this thing than I am.

283
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,502
He says stuff, you know, after—

284
00:14:14,404 --> 00:14:15,939
School?

285
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,540
After—
Dinner mints?

286
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:20,443
After—
Not having sex.

287
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:26,083
How was that?
What? Forget that.

288
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:29,619
The problem right now
is that he's calling me "babe."

289
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,388
He's trying to hold my hands.

290
00:14:31,388 --> 00:14:33,590
It's getting
a little relationship-y.

291
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:36,393
And he gave me something.

292
00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:38,896
Herpes?
No.

293
00:14:38,896 --> 00:14:41,398
This.
A poem?

294
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:43,833
How do I respond
to something like that?

295
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,903
"Thank you"?

296
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:48,005
Well, it's a very good question.

297
00:14:48,005 --> 00:14:49,907
And it's one I will answer—

298
00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:51,408
Uh— Oh, I'm getting a text.

299
00:14:51,408 --> 00:14:54,111
I'm just gonna read it
if you don't mind.

300
00:14:54,111 --> 00:14:58,715
I am reading it and it is read.

301
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:02,552
"Did you ever notice
Where the ocean meets the sky?

302
00:15:02,552 --> 00:15:05,555
Did ya? It's
The same wizard blue

303
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:09,659
That I see
In your eye, Britta"

304
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,895
No! Wizard blue.
Oh!

305
00:15:11,895 --> 00:15:13,997
Thank you so much.
This brightened my day.

306
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,899
I'm glad we can rip
on that dude again.

307
00:15:15,899 --> 00:15:17,400
Look at this. Look at this.

308
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,238
That is the stain of a tear drop
over the word, "rad."

309
00:15:21,238 --> 00:15:22,872
Oh, rad.
I thought he said red.

310
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,707
That makes it worse.
Ha-ha-ha.

311
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:26,143
I'm surprised he can read.

312
00:15:26,143 --> 00:15:28,511
- You know?
- I know.

313
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,982
Hey, sorry about bailing
on the psych experiment.

314
00:15:31,982 --> 00:15:34,751
That was the experiment.

315
00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:38,188
We're testing how long people
would wait in the room.

316
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,990
Whoa.
Oh.

317
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,858
Gotcha.
"Gotcha"?

318
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,227
That's all you have to say?
Yeah.

319
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:47,597
You sat in a room
for 26 straight hours.

320
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:49,066
Didn't that bother you?

321
00:15:49,066 --> 00:15:51,134
I was livid.
Then why didn't you leave?

322
00:15:51,134 --> 00:15:54,071
You asked me to stay
and you said we were friends.

323
00:15:58,475 --> 00:16:00,343
Wait. Is this still
the experiment?

324
00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:03,046
He's more like a puppy
with a fish mouth.

325
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,382
Right, right, right.
It's more like this:

326
00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:08,986
That's right. Laugh it up.

327
00:16:08,986 --> 00:16:10,988
Wanna know what they're doing?
Yeah.

328
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:13,123
Sure.
Making fun of all of us.

329
00:16:16,159 --> 00:16:19,529
I heard you
with my own Ear-Noculars.

330
00:16:19,529 --> 00:16:22,199
Pierce,
we are not making fun of you.

331
00:16:22,199 --> 00:16:23,633
Calling me Hacky Sack,

332
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:25,068
and ripping my—

333
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,904
My six pack abs
and my moist hair.

334
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,240
And that face you made:

335
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,675
That was pretty obviously Annie.

336
00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:35,212
This is definitely
still the experiment.

337
00:16:35,212 --> 00:16:37,647
We were not
making fun of you.

338
00:16:37,647 --> 00:16:40,450
We're making fun
of Britta's boyfriend, Vaughn.

339
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:43,553
Oh, good. Well, in that case,
if we're gonna do something,

340
00:16:43,553 --> 00:16:45,788
do it as a team.
I'll get the ball rolling.

341
00:16:45,788 --> 00:16:47,557
Maybe he has a tiny penis.

342
00:16:47,557 --> 00:16:49,892
Who is this guy?
You all have to see him.

343
00:16:49,892 --> 00:16:51,694
Everything's,
"No worries."

344
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:53,663
Always says hello
three times in a row.

345
00:16:53,663 --> 00:16:55,898
"Hello, good evening,
how are you?"

346
00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:57,767
And look, he wrote a poem.

347
00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:00,537
Can I read it?
We shouldn't.

348
00:17:00,537 --> 00:17:03,240
- No, it's fine.
- I'll be done in an hour.

349
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,774
Yeah, no worries.

350
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,509
He just said it.

351
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:08,245
Guys, you've met Vaughn, right?

352
00:17:08,245 --> 00:17:10,213
Hey, what's up? Hi.

353
00:17:12,215 --> 00:17:13,950
Ha-ha. What a fool.

354
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:17,620
This group's got a case
of the giggles, huh? Heh.

355
00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:23,460
Wait, is that—?

356
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,463
Did you give them my poem?
No.

357
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,199
Why's the dinosaur
rocking a picture of my poem?

358
00:17:29,199 --> 00:17:30,533
Here, read it.

359
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:36,106
Ha. You guys are—

360
00:17:36,106 --> 00:17:37,974
You guys laughing at me,
aren't you?

361
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,642
Yeah.
No.

362
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,778
That's, uh— Wow.

363
00:17:44,714 --> 00:17:47,884
This is the least tight thing
that's ever happened.

364
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,356
I can't believe you.

365
00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:55,358
Honestly, Jeff, how dare you?

366
00:17:59,196 --> 00:18:01,431
I can hear him outside.
He's crying.

367
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,268
Now, he's barking.

368
00:18:07,637 --> 00:18:09,939
Jeff, wait,
I'm sorry I sold you out.

369
00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:11,474
Britta's never gonna forgive me.

370
00:18:11,474 --> 00:18:13,310
Can't believe
I showed that poem.

371
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:15,412
Oh, my God,
my life is Degrassi High.

372
00:18:15,412 --> 00:18:17,414
Oh, Jeff.
I have a gossip problem.

373
00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:20,683
I stir the pot, Jeff.
I'm a pot stirrer.

374
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,086
This isn't the only
study group I've had.

375
00:18:23,086 --> 00:18:25,722
You see those ladies over there?

376
00:18:25,722 --> 00:18:29,025
I used to be in their group
until they kicked me out.

377
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,727
They called me Tattle-ina.

378
00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:34,030
It's a bumblebee nickname.
It's cute, but it stings.

379
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,599
Hey, look at the size
of that woman's earrings.

380
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:39,636
It's like little dogs
should be jumping through them.

381
00:18:42,472 --> 00:18:44,741
Look at them.
Not gonna work. This has to end.

382
00:18:44,741 --> 00:18:48,578
Don't do this.
Look, we can still hang out.

383
00:18:48,578 --> 00:18:51,648
It's just, you know,
we won't bag on people.

384
00:18:51,648 --> 00:18:53,750
Come on.
What are we gonna talk about?

385
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,252
My kids, your doctor career?

386
00:18:55,252 --> 00:18:59,189
I was a lawyer.
See, I'm already bored.

387
00:19:00,257 --> 00:19:03,025
Well...

388
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:07,797
We'll always have tiny nipples.
Heh-heh-heh. They were tiny.

389
00:19:07,797 --> 00:19:10,500
Jeff. Wait, wait.
I know I shouldn't do this,

390
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,303
but one last
little piece of gossip.

391
00:19:14,771 --> 00:19:19,309
Britta told me
she had a sex dream about you.

392
00:19:19,309 --> 00:19:21,444
You still have a chance.

393
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:25,014
Uh-Uh! Mm. Uh-uh.
Details.

394
00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:27,650
Details. Details.

395
00:19:30,153 --> 00:19:33,523
Abed, here.

396
00:19:33,523 --> 00:19:36,159
I wanna just say sorry
for yelling at you.

397
00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:41,598
Indiana Jones, cool.

398
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,566
I just got
the first three because—

399
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:45,602
The fourth one blows.

400
00:19:47,136 --> 00:19:48,705
- We're cool.
- Britta.

401
00:19:48,705 --> 00:19:51,674
I do not wanna talk.
I know, and I'm sorry.

402
00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:54,577
I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.

403
00:19:54,577 --> 00:19:57,714
And I will go talk to Vaughn—
Vaughn broke up with me.

404
00:19:57,714 --> 00:19:59,416
Oh! Oh.

405
00:19:59,416 --> 00:20:01,951
You broke my trust. You suck.

406
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,453
I know and I'm sorry.

407
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:04,954
But I was in a tough position.

408
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,857
I couldn't handle
just being one of the girls.

409
00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:12,829
What do you wanna be?

410
00:20:12,829 --> 00:20:14,231
Is...

411
00:20:14,231 --> 00:20:17,066
Is there a spot
on the friendship spectrum

412
00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,768
between total stranger

413
00:20:18,768 --> 00:20:20,870
and having to hear
about the guys you date?

414
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:24,274
And a notch underneath
driving you to the airport

415
00:20:24,274 --> 00:20:25,542
and painting your kitchen.

416
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:26,809
How about the friend level

417
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,878
where you sometimes
have to cat sit?

418
00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:30,480
Done.

419
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,483
And if I'm naked in your dreams,
I won't complain.

420
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:36,152
Shirley.
I know, she's got a problem.

421
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,356
She stirs the pot.
She's a pot stirrer.

422
00:20:39,356 --> 00:20:41,090
Sorry, dudes.

423
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,592
No worries, man.

424
00:20:42,592 --> 00:20:45,595
Uh— some worries, man.
Some worries.

425
00:20:48,865 --> 00:20:50,066
Whoa.

426
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:59,876
Shirley would've said something
funny about that guy.

427
00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:05,114
So I told him—
Oh, hi, Jeff.

428
00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:06,616
Shh.

429
00:21:06,616 --> 00:21:10,086
Oh, no. Pierce, Pierce,
give me your ear thing.

430
00:21:10,086 --> 00:21:11,954
Got rid of it.

431
00:21:14,424 --> 00:21:16,426
You see, Jeff,
there are certain things

432
00:21:16,426 --> 00:21:18,395
man was not meant to hear.

433
00:21:18,395 --> 00:21:22,198
We were designed
by whatever entity you choose

434
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,435
to hear what's in this range.

435
00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:27,437
And really this range alone.

436
00:21:27,437 --> 00:21:31,374
Because, you know who's talking
to us in this range.

437
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:33,209
The people we love.

438
00:21:40,683 --> 00:21:43,152
He must've heard us call him
Inspector Gadget.

439
00:21:48,858 --> 00:21:51,894
Oh, I think it's time
for Burning Man.

440
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:54,431
Oh, I'm Saddam Hussein. Oh.

441
00:21:54,431 --> 00:21:56,466
Nice to meet you, dude.

442
00:21:56,466 --> 00:21:59,536
Wow, I love reading and
being a desperate housewife.

443
00:21:59,536 --> 00:22:03,205
Hey, man, coming through,
I love the Desperate Housewives.

444
00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:06,643
I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest.

445
00:22:06,643 --> 00:22:10,212
I think I'm better than
everyone else because I'm 40.

446
00:22:10,212 --> 00:22:12,114
I'm not 40.

447
00:22:12,114 --> 00:22:14,851
I can hear you
through the window, morons.

448
00:22:17,787 --> 00:22:19,522
Just pretend like
you asleep.

449
00:22:19,522 --> 00:22:21,991
Just pretend
like you were sleeping.

450
00:22:23,255 --> 00:22:33,255
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