1
00:00:03,574 --> 00:00:04,666
Okay, you can hear me? Okay.

2
00:00:04,875 --> 00:00:09,335
Good morning. I'm here to kick off
the first day of a new tradition

3
00:00:09,547 --> 00:00:12,345
at our school called Green Week.

4
00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:14,211
What?

5
00:00:14,418 --> 00:00:17,546
First, we give a month to black
history, now seven days on the Irish.

6
00:00:17,755 --> 00:00:22,124
All this week, Greendale College
is becoming so Earth-smart

7
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,523
that we're changing our name
to Envirodale.

8
00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:30,565
But we were already
called Greendale.

9
00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:34,036
Yeah.
Yeah.

10
00:00:34,238 --> 00:00:39,608
Well, there's also going to be
a free rock 'n' roll concert

11
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:44,008
by a certain band
called Green Day.

12
00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:47,441
That make you happy?

13
00:00:47,952 --> 00:00:48,941
No, not really.

14
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,885
We need to re-do these.

15
00:00:51,088 --> 00:00:52,521
We printed 5000.

16
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:55,453
Well, print 5000 more.
I'm trying to save a planet here.

17
00:01:04,101 --> 00:01:05,966
Pencils down.

18
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:13,044
Use the free code JOINNOW at
www.playships.eu

19
00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:19,108
Annie.

20
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,155
I wasn't...

21
00:01:40,304 --> 00:01:44,434
I want you all to write
a one-page essay, in español

22
00:01:44,642 --> 00:01:46,769
entitled, "Annie's Mistake."

23
00:01:50,614 --> 00:01:52,514
Why doesn't Annie
have to write it?

24
00:01:52,716 --> 00:01:55,685
Okay, two pages, entitled:

25
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:58,582
"The Consequences
of Questioning Authority."

26
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:01,257
This is Spanish.
I know how to say "hello,"tomorrow"

27
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:03,824
and tables are female.
That's the only Spanish you taught us.

28
00:02:04,028 --> 00:02:08,192
Oh! Six pages on ignorance.

29
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,299
Guys, put your hands down.

30
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:14,028
Señor Chang, please continue.
We respect your authority.

31
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:17,867
Thank you, Britta.
Twenty pages on ass kissing.

32
00:02:18,075 --> 00:02:19,702
Due on Monday.

33
00:02:19,910 --> 00:02:21,275
This Monday?

34
00:02:27,518 --> 00:02:31,352
If Señor Chang gets any crazier,
he's gonna win the Grammy award.

35
00:02:35,592 --> 00:02:37,287
I've already reported him
to the dean.

36
00:02:37,494 --> 00:02:41,123
He said they've been trying to fire him
for years but nobody wants his job.

37
00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:44,358
I can't write a 20-page paper.
I got a presentation in Marketing.

38
00:02:44,568 --> 00:02:47,503
And public speaking gives me
the nervous sweats.

39
00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:50,173
I can help you with that.
I accept.

40
00:02:50,374 --> 00:02:52,205
That's how messed up
things are.

41
00:02:52,409 --> 00:02:53,671
Well, we're screwed too.

42
00:02:53,877 --> 00:02:55,868
We're three days behind
on a Biology lab.

43
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,342
Troy's afraid of...

44
00:02:57,548 --> 00:02:59,539
I'm not afraid, Abed.

45
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:02,742
I choose not to be around rats
because they are unpopular.

46
00:03:02,953 --> 00:03:05,922
Same goes for centipedes and lakes.
There's only one solution.

47
00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:08,557
Someone has to go to Chang
and talk to him.

48
00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:11,057
I vote we all look at Jeff
at the same time.

49
00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,727
In a way, all of you are right.

50
00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:20,425
What was I tuning out?

51
00:03:20,637 --> 00:03:22,867
You have to get Chang to
call off this homework.

52
00:03:23,073 --> 00:03:26,236
You're the one with the silver tongue.
Yeah, go tongue Chang.

53
00:03:26,443 --> 00:03:28,638
What makes you think
I could convince Chang

54
00:03:28,846 --> 00:03:31,713
if I can't even convince you
not to make me do it?

55
00:03:32,816 --> 00:03:34,875
Jeff does raise a good point.

56
00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:36,683
Wait. You are convincing.

57
00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:39,454
You could do it.
Yeah.

58
00:03:40,591 --> 00:03:43,685
You want me to risk the C that
I'm pulling in that psycho's class

59
00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:45,156
by putting myself on his radar?

60
00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:47,353
I mean, that guy goes any more nuts,
he's gonna win a Grammy.

61
00:03:48,932 --> 00:03:50,661
You are hilarious.
That's very funny.

62
00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:51,857
What is it, the chair?

63
00:03:52,069 --> 00:03:54,765
How do you gonna keep pulling
a C in that psycho's class

64
00:03:54,972 --> 00:03:56,803
if he keeps assigning
this much work?

65
00:03:57,341 --> 00:03:59,206
Because I have you guys.

66
00:04:01,345 --> 00:04:03,279
Well, guess what,
handsome hobo?

67
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,381
Your gravy train's
leaving the station.

68
00:04:09,653 --> 00:04:11,553
Ignore what she's doing.
We are serious.

69
00:04:12,122 --> 00:04:13,783
Fine, I'll do it.

70
00:04:13,991 --> 00:04:17,654
But when you find my body,
don't believe the suicide note.

71
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:25,197
This better not awaken
anything in me.

72
00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:28,369
Green Day is here.

73
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,062
Wow.

74
00:04:34,511 --> 00:04:36,672
Okay, what's this about now?

75
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:37,972
We're Greene Daeye.

76
00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:41,511
Thank you. Oh.

77
00:04:44,021 --> 00:04:46,216
What do you want, Winger?

78
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:50,251
You complaining about the
homework on behalf of the class?

79
00:04:50,861 --> 00:04:53,227
Can I ask you a personal question,
Señor Chang?

80
00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:55,455
Okay, Freud.

81
00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:59,662
Sure, you try to penetrate
my psychological armor and you...

82
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:02,805
Did your wife leave you?
Holy...

83
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,039
How'd you know?

84
00:05:05,242 --> 00:05:08,769
Well, when you pick juries,
you learn to read the little stuff.

85
00:05:08,979 --> 00:05:10,970
Same shirt twice in one week.

86
00:05:11,181 --> 00:05:14,344
Teaching us the word esposa
means "liar."

87
00:05:14,551 --> 00:05:17,816
A picture of you with a woman
with a Post-it note dialogue balloon

88
00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:20,888
above her head that says,
"Enjoy it while it lasts."

89
00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:24,722
We met at a salsa club.

90
00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:31,095
And, um,
she loved the way I danced.

91
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:36,663
But, I mean, you know how it goes.
You get a job...

92
00:05:36,874 --> 00:05:38,967
You stop salsa dancing.
Of course I know.

93
00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:41,508
You make no mistake
about this, Winger.

94
00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:43,407
I pleasured that woman greatly.

95
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:48,313
Yeah. You look like you would have to.
I'm not surprised you said that.

96
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,558
I like you, Winger.

97
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,030
Pickled bull testicle?

98
00:06:03,934 --> 00:06:06,664
Are you offering or collecting?

99
00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,250
Troy, sing.

100
00:06:24,454 --> 00:06:26,513
The assignment is to train a rat
to a song.

101
00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:29,521
Yeah. Did you have to pick a duet?
Hm?

102
00:06:42,139 --> 00:06:44,664
He did it. Good boy, Fievel.
Commencing reward.

103
00:06:44,875 --> 00:06:45,933
I have to open the cage.

104
00:06:46,143 --> 00:06:47,701
Yeah, you don't have to warn me,
I'm not afraid.

105
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:55,143
Fievel.

106
00:06:56,053 --> 00:06:57,247
Everybody shut up.

107
00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:03,558
I'll kick all your asses,
but you all have to come up here.

108
00:07:05,262 --> 00:07:09,221
Dude, you are gonna be fine.
You just have to move on.

109
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,262
And if you hang out with me
sometime,

110
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:14,130
you will see how great
single life can be.

111
00:07:14,338 --> 00:07:15,999
Yeah?
Yeah.

112
00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:17,230
What about tonight?

113
00:07:19,376 --> 00:07:20,809
Absolutely.

114
00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:23,104
Oh, shoot.

115
00:07:23,313 --> 00:07:26,180
My Spanish study group
has to get together every night now.

116
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,751
You have been really
letting us have it with this homework.

117
00:07:29,953 --> 00:07:31,944
I really have, haven't I?
Yeah.

118
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:37,417
Tell you what. For my new buddy,
Jeff, essay cancelled. Shh-clacky.

119
00:07:37,628 --> 00:07:41,587
Fantastic. That is fantastic.
Everybody will be so happy.

120
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:45,928
Oh-oh-oh. I didn't say everybody.
It's for my new friend Jeff.

121
00:07:46,903 --> 00:07:49,303
I mean, you're the one coming out
with me, right?

122
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:50,598
Right. Yeah.

123
00:07:50,807 --> 00:07:55,176
I suppose that will put you in an
unenviable, uncomfortable position.

124
00:07:55,379 --> 00:07:57,847
Here's your jacket. Let's do this.
Awesome, great.

125
00:07:58,415 --> 00:07:59,439
Is there a rat in here?

126
00:08:00,917 --> 00:08:03,442
I have no idea
what you're talking about.

127
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,286
Abed.
El Tigre.

128
00:08:15,932 --> 00:08:19,891
Well, did you talk to Chang?
Yeah, but it didn't do any good.

129
00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,798
My still head hurts from the yelling.

130
00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:25,532
My pupils are more sensitive to light
because he yelled at me so much.

131
00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:28,404
Oh, well, now I feel bad
that we made you do that.

132
00:08:28,612 --> 00:08:31,103
Maybe we can help with your essay.
Oh, that's okay.

133
00:08:31,314 --> 00:08:34,340
I'm working on mine by myself.

134
00:08:34,551 --> 00:08:35,916
You could do my homework
next time.

135
00:08:36,319 --> 00:08:38,219
See you in class.

136
00:08:38,422 --> 00:08:40,049
He's hiding something.

137
00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:42,851
Britta, Jeff suffered for us.
Give him a little credit.

138
00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,994
Yeah. You can be pretty cold.

139
00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:46,924
Troy?
Damn.

140
00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:49,860
Here comes Abed. He needs my help.
I gotta get out of here.

141
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:51,929
Troy?

142
00:08:52,903 --> 00:08:55,736
You guys seen a rat? Troy knocked
over Fievel's cage and he escaped.

143
00:08:55,939 --> 00:08:58,203
Oh, Abed, I'm sorry.

144
00:08:58,408 --> 00:09:02,708
He probably found more rats
and is very happy living with them.

145
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,075
Try to join the rest of us
in reality, Britta.

146
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:12,449
I believe that, uh, fusing brownies
with the, uh, Internet

147
00:09:12,656 --> 00:09:16,558
is going to create the next Napster
for brownies.

148
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,091
Yawn!

149
00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:19,956
Can't I just write it on cards?

150
00:09:20,664 --> 00:09:22,097
No.

151
00:09:22,299 --> 00:09:25,393
Do you know anybody
who reads from cards?

152
00:09:25,602 --> 00:09:28,696
No.
No, you don't, and that's why.

153
00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:31,305
Also, you might consider
a darker top.

154
00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:32,764
Note taken.

155
00:09:32,976 --> 00:09:37,345
Oh, and don't lock your knees.
Never lock your knees.

156
00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:40,846
You know what happens when you
lock your knees? You die.

157
00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:45,454
Second, when you wanna drive home
a point, hand them a sandwich.

158
00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:47,555
Try it. Hand them
a sandwich. See?

159
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,089
Hand them a sandwich.
Yeah.

160
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:52,261
Except that you're...
You just dropped the sandwich

161
00:09:52,462 --> 00:09:54,828
as opposed to handing it to them.
Handing the palm.

162
00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:59,092
Yeah. Try attention-grabbing words
to wake up the audience, such as:

163
00:09:59,302 --> 00:10:00,667
Multiple orgasm.

164
00:10:01,071 --> 00:10:03,665
Oh, no, no. I don't think
that would fit into my message.

165
00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:06,843
Maybe we should focus more on...
Whatever.

166
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:09,011
Yeah, and about these
filler words of yours.

167
00:10:09,212 --> 00:10:10,941
I mean,
nobody wants to buy brownies

168
00:10:11,148 --> 00:10:14,413
from somebody that says
"um" and "like."

169
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:16,844
I have a method for fixing that.
From the top.

170
00:10:17,053 --> 00:10:18,418
Okay.

171
00:10:18,622 --> 00:10:21,147
These brownies are, uh...
Uh!

172
00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:24,286
They, um...
Um!

173
00:10:25,629 --> 00:10:29,531
These brownies are delicious.

174
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:31,724
They taste like...
Like.

175
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,870
That's not a filler word.
Whatever, valley girl.

176
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:42,010
The difference between usted and tu
is a matter of formality.

177
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:47,774
You are old.

178
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,223
You are ugly.

179
00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,052
No, you're not.
Thanks, sir.

180
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,727
Shakira.

181
00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:00,021
Shakira.

182
00:11:02,532 --> 00:11:03,521
What's up?

183
00:11:07,737 --> 00:11:10,763
You are dirty.
Dude.

184
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,135
Still formal but plural

185
00:11:13,343 --> 00:11:17,473
because while both are dirty,
neither are my friends.

186
00:11:17,681 --> 00:11:18,670
Okay?

187
00:11:18,882 --> 00:11:22,113
And on another subject, hope you guys
are working hard on your essays.

188
00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:24,253
That's gonna be 30 percent
of your grade.

189
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:25,853
Oh, no.

190
00:11:26,056 --> 00:11:29,150
Jeff already turned in his essay.

191
00:11:29,359 --> 00:11:31,259
Great job.
Thanks.

192
00:11:31,461 --> 00:11:33,656
As soon as you turn
in your essays on Monday,

193
00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:36,458
there's gonna be a big-ass quiz,
so study hard.

194
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,395
Class dismissed.

195
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:44,529
Dude.
Dude.

196
00:11:44,741 --> 00:11:46,902
Crazy night last night, man.
That was crazy.

197
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:48,941
When you go out with me,
it gets crazy.

198
00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:51,340
That's the Winger guarantee.

199
00:11:51,548 --> 00:11:53,778
Dude, let's do it again.

200
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:56,714
Yeah, I want to,
it's just the quiz, you know?

201
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,615
Study, study.

202
00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:00,551
Well, how about this:

203
00:12:01,358 --> 00:12:04,953
Bling. A-plus. Nice work, Winger.

204
00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:07,220
I knew I could do it
if I applied myself.

205
00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:11,795
Cherry daiquiri.
Cherry daiquiri.

206
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:19,041
Later.
You devious clump

207
00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:21,267
of overpriced fabric
and hair product.

208
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:24,379
Speaking as one of the meek, soon
as I inherit the Earth, you dead.

209
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:28,210
You got a weird forehead.
We're all very disappointed.

210
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,283
All right, dial it back a little, Britta.

211
00:12:30,487 --> 00:12:32,580
If anyone should be disappointed,
it's me.

212
00:12:32,789 --> 00:12:36,281
What kind of a group threatens to kick
someone out unless he helps them?

213
00:12:36,493 --> 00:12:40,395
What kind of a person is asked to help
other people and then helps himself?

214
00:12:40,597 --> 00:12:42,224
Helps himself?

215
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,263
I don't like being talked to that way.

216
00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:47,300
He's using fake outrage
to justify leaving.

217
00:12:47,504 --> 00:12:49,369
Fake outrage? Justify my...?

218
00:12:49,572 --> 00:12:51,403
Yeah, that's it, I'm out of here.

219
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:55,467
Are you breaking up with the group?
That's what you guys want.

220
00:12:56,012 --> 00:12:57,673
I've been divorced seven times.

221
00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:01,339
Don't answer your phones and
bury all your money in the backyard.

222
00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:04,645
Here you go. Look at Pierce's
paragraph from unit two.

223
00:13:04,854 --> 00:13:07,550
Let's see,
"I took a computer class at

224
00:13:07,757 --> 00:13:10,521
tienda de manzana,"
the Apple Store.

225
00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:11,921
Adorable.
Keep going.

226
00:13:12,128 --> 00:13:17,088
"And the saleswoman
had manzanas gigantes. " Ruined it.

227
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,860
Imagine being married to him?
Seven times.

228
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,630
Seven different women agreed
to marry that guy.

229
00:13:22,839 --> 00:13:23,965
It's crazy.

230
00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:30,808
I'm so alone.

231
00:13:31,014 --> 00:13:34,211
I'm so lonely I wanna die.

232
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:36,942
Come on, man. It...
Come on. Don't do that.

233
00:13:39,756 --> 00:13:43,852
I just miss her so much.
Yeah.

234
00:13:44,661 --> 00:13:47,858
I'm sorry. This is so stupid.
No, no, no, it's fine, it's just...

235
00:13:48,064 --> 00:13:49,497
Buddy, you know...
I'm dumb.

236
00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:54,033
I can see that you're hurting
but I have to get to Accounting.

237
00:13:54,237 --> 00:13:57,138
It's not like I'm hitting strip clubs
with Professor Whitman.

238
00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:59,001
You better not be.
What?

239
00:13:59,209 --> 00:14:03,543
All I ask is for you to keep filling
the void in my soul.

240
00:14:03,747 --> 00:14:05,647
I'll have to
think of something.

241
00:14:05,849 --> 00:14:09,808
Let me rest gently on your pecs.

242
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:14,820
Best closer to a presentation,
a Nicholson quote.

243
00:14:15,025 --> 00:14:18,552
You take a phrase from one of his films
and you tailor it to your product.

244
00:14:18,762 --> 00:14:22,198
You can't handle a moist towelette.
Something like that, you know.

245
00:14:22,399 --> 00:14:24,492
But you can't use that one.
That's mine.

246
00:14:24,701 --> 00:14:25,963
Thanks, Pierce.

247
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,070
I'm gonna write it on some cards.
Okay.

248
00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:32,635
Just don't let anybody know
I was involved.

249
00:14:46,056 --> 00:14:48,616
Why do you care so much?

250
00:14:48,825 --> 00:14:49,883
I don't.

251
00:14:50,093 --> 00:14:53,256
Because Fievel's going to die.
I'd rather die than listen.

252
00:14:53,463 --> 00:14:54,691
Who's going to die?
Yeah.

253
00:14:54,898 --> 00:14:57,264
The exterminator is coming
because of our rat.

254
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,628
I'd like to exterminate
this conversation.

255
00:14:59,836 --> 00:15:01,133
What are you doing?

256
00:15:01,337 --> 00:15:03,601
He's sitting in Jeff's chair
so he's trying to act like Jeff.

257
00:15:03,807 --> 00:15:06,401
Oh! Oh.

258
00:15:08,378 --> 00:15:09,367
E-mail.

259
00:15:09,579 --> 00:15:11,809
I thought you might wanna help me.
We are friends.

260
00:15:12,015 --> 00:15:14,176
Abed, take it
from a former prom king.

261
00:15:14,384 --> 00:15:17,785
Real friends help me with things,
not vice versa.

262
00:15:17,987 --> 00:15:19,614
I would face my fears
to help you.

263
00:15:19,823 --> 00:15:22,758
Exactly. Because you're my friend.

264
00:15:23,326 --> 00:15:24,918
Am I?

265
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,758
Abed.

266
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:34,232
If he gets any nuttier,
they're gonna put him on The View.

267
00:15:36,139 --> 00:15:37,231
That works. Yeah.

268
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:40,466
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna study. Ah!

269
00:15:40,677 --> 00:15:42,076
Fievel?

270
00:15:42,278 --> 00:15:44,075
Fievel.
Fievel?

271
00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:46,947
Fievel.

272
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,608
Fievel.

273
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,578
Okay, thank you.

274
00:15:51,788 --> 00:15:56,748
Green Week was a rousing success
here at Greendale.

275
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:00,259
And now for our band, Greene Daeye.
They're not the real Green Day.

276
00:16:00,463 --> 00:16:03,830
Thought we should just rip
that Band-Aid off quickly. Okay.

277
00:16:07,237 --> 00:16:08,864
Hey. What's up?

278
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:11,836
Just got your text, man.
Wanna hang out?

279
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:13,804
Because if you don't, I will fail you.

280
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:17,207
Actually, I had an idea
for an extra-credit project.

281
00:16:17,413 --> 00:16:21,281
We've been asked to dedicate
our first song

282
00:16:21,484 --> 00:16:24,282
to "Señor and Señora Chang."

283
00:16:29,259 --> 00:16:30,988
She said she didn't wanna
talk to me.

284
00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:33,558
I didn't tell her you wanted to talk.

285
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:39,861
"The estimation of market value
of brownies has..."

286
00:16:40,069 --> 00:16:42,367
"I, uh... Target group..."

287
00:16:42,572 --> 00:16:46,372
Ms. Bennett, I'm afraid I have
to ask you to put down the cards.

288
00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:03,022
Uh... l... Uh...

289
00:17:32,388 --> 00:17:34,583
They are wonderful.

290
00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:39,088
We all love brownies.
They're delicious.

291
00:17:39,295 --> 00:17:41,627
If you love brownies, you love life.

292
00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:55,642
Orgasmically delicious.

293
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,301
Here's Brownie.

294
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,786
God, he's on my leg!

295
00:18:47,997 --> 00:18:49,692
He's on my leg!

296
00:18:54,203 --> 00:18:56,068
Disgusting.

297
00:18:57,807 --> 00:18:58,796
Thank you.

298
00:18:59,742 --> 00:19:01,710
What's Chang doing?

299
00:19:05,381 --> 00:19:07,474
He's getting a refill
on his void.

300
00:19:08,184 --> 00:19:11,551
I got an A on my presentation
and a lot of the credit goes to Pierce.

301
00:19:11,754 --> 00:19:13,779
And I had a great sandwich.

302
00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:16,652
We found the stupid rat and
Abed's gonna shut up about it.

303
00:19:16,859 --> 00:19:18,520
It's true.

304
00:19:20,063 --> 00:19:21,963
I have something to say.

305
00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:26,332
I've been a horrible husband
and I've been a horrible teacher.

306
00:19:26,536 --> 00:19:30,302
And I'd like to thank my student,
Jeff Winger, for showing me that

307
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,708
and helping me fix my marriage.

308
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:36,144
No more 20-page essays
due on Monday.

309
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,041
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you.

310
00:19:38,247 --> 00:19:42,377
Although, Winger, you should write
a one-page essay called:

311
00:19:42,585 --> 00:19:46,077
"Taking Advantage
of the Emotionally Vulnerable."

312
00:19:46,289 --> 00:19:47,381
Boo-yah.

313
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:51,984
You did that for us?

314
00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:55,090
Mm. Kind of.

315
00:19:56,833 --> 00:20:00,769
I thought hanging out with you guys
was the worst way to pass Spanish.

316
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:03,234
I was wrong.
Well, we're the best.

317
00:20:03,439 --> 00:20:06,272
Jeff, I'm sorry I called you
a handsome hobo.

318
00:20:06,476 --> 00:20:09,673
If you need help with that essay,
you can rejoin the group.

319
00:20:09,879 --> 00:20:11,346
Thanks.

320
00:20:12,148 --> 00:20:14,514
What are you guys talking to me for?
You go dance.

321
00:20:20,123 --> 00:20:24,219
I know your secret.
I know about the chair.

322
00:20:39,942 --> 00:20:41,239
Whoa. What model
did you get?

323
00:20:41,444 --> 00:20:43,878
It's the Tsunami 3000
Anniversary Edition. You?

324
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,049
The Devil's Drench XJ11.
This is gonna be awesome.

325
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,912
Establish base camps.
What part of the library do you want?

326
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,952
North east is closest to the
drinking fountain, which is the...

327
00:20:53,156 --> 00:20:54,885
All right, guys,
are we gonna do this thing?

328
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,726
Pierce, I hope that's the tiny gun
that you throw at us to confuse us

329
00:20:59,929 --> 00:21:02,227
while you grab the giant gun
taped to your back.

330
00:21:02,432 --> 00:21:04,992
Seriously, this hardly
seems like a fair fight. Ah!

331
00:21:06,469 --> 00:21:09,029
Oh, it's pepper water.
Oh, it's pep...

332
00:21:09,238 --> 00:21:11,138
Who puts pepper in water?

333
00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:22,275
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