1
00:00:01,156 --> 00:00:03,590
Happy last day
before winter break, Greendale.

2
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,157
Time to visit our loved ones.

3
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,056
Some of you will travel
as far as three miles.

4
00:00:08,497 --> 00:00:12,661
Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland,
where we're giving away catalogues

5
00:00:12,868 --> 00:00:14,995
of next semester's classes.
Ha-ha-ha!

6
00:00:18,073 --> 00:00:19,904
Whoa! What's that sound?

7
00:00:20,109 --> 00:00:24,546
Is that the tippy-tapping
of secular boots on the roof?

8
00:00:24,746 --> 00:00:29,945
Oh, well, it must be yet another sign
that it 'tis the season,

9
00:00:30,152 --> 00:00:32,143
because rumor has it

10
00:00:32,354 --> 00:00:35,482
that non-denominational
Mr. Winter

11
00:00:35,691 --> 00:00:39,024
is on his way
to the student lounge.

12
00:00:39,628 --> 00:00:42,756
I am so sick of the dean jamming
his PCness down my throat.

13
00:00:43,198 --> 00:00:46,133
Pierce, I'd like to commend you
for letting that one go.

14
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:49,031
PCness. Now I get it.

15
00:00:49,238 --> 00:00:51,331
It sounds like penis.
I just got it too.

16
00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:53,371
Well, it's still Christmas to all of us.

17
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:57,272
And I made you all a little gift,
because you're like my new family.

18
00:00:57,479 --> 00:00:59,106
"W.W.B.J. D?"

19
00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:01,544
If that stands for
"What would Billy Joel do?"

20
00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:04,412
I'll tell you right now,
he'd write another crappy song.

21
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:06,110
Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel.

22
00:01:06,321 --> 00:01:07,288
Who is that?

23
00:01:07,489 --> 00:01:09,855
It stands for "What would baby Jesus do?
" And it's to remind us

24
00:01:10,058 --> 00:01:12,856
that the real meaning
of this season is Christmas.

25
00:01:13,061 --> 00:01:14,824
Oh, well, thank you, Shirley.

26
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:18,488
I'm gonna put that in the pocket
closest to my heart.

27
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:21,066
No, no, no.
It's a bracelet, you put them on.

28
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:23,365
Everybody put them on.

29
00:01:31,947 --> 00:01:34,177
Hey. Hey.

30
00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:36,976
You took all the Winter-Doodles.

31
00:01:37,186 --> 00:01:38,551
What are you, a douche bag?

32
00:01:39,154 --> 00:01:41,247
They're for my friends.
But there's a lot left.

33
00:01:41,456 --> 00:01:44,254
No. Only macadamia nut cookies.
I have a tree-nut allergy.

34
00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,154
You should stay away from
Christmas-tree-shaped cookies.

35
00:01:46,361 --> 00:01:50,024
Ha-ha-ha! That did not even make allergic sense.
What are you, an idiot?

36
00:01:50,832 --> 00:01:55,064
Okay, we get it, you and the A-Team
are awesome, now beat it.

37
00:01:55,270 --> 00:01:58,706
Oh, look at that. Pretty boy,
standing up for bird-face over here.

38
00:01:58,907 --> 00:02:00,636
Give me a Winter-Doodle.

39
00:02:00,842 --> 00:02:04,539
If you're trying to be menacing, maybe
don't call the cookie by its name.

40
00:02:05,047 --> 00:02:08,574
Oh, you're funny, you're a funny man.
Wanna hear something funny?

41
00:02:08,784 --> 00:02:11,719
Knock, knock. My fist up your balls.

42
00:02:12,754 --> 00:02:13,721
Who's there?

43
00:02:13,922 --> 00:02:15,219
Ho, ho, ho!

44
00:02:15,424 --> 00:02:19,087
Merry happy.

45
00:02:19,628 --> 00:02:20,925
This ain't over.

46
00:02:23,065 --> 00:02:25,556
There won't always be
a dean around, all right?

47
00:02:27,302 --> 00:02:28,860
Still waiting on
those cookies, Abed.

48
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:36,034
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

49
00:02:56,198 --> 00:02:57,256
Jeff protected my honor.

50
00:02:57,466 --> 00:02:59,696
It was like My Bodyguard,
but I was the kid from Meatballs,

51
00:02:59,901 --> 00:03:03,166
Jeff was from Full Metal Jacket, and the mustache
guy was the brother of the guy in Entourage.

52
00:03:03,372 --> 00:03:05,602
Thanks for dumbing that down for us.
You got it.

53
00:03:05,807 --> 00:03:08,867
What's the deal, Jeff? You leave
your stones in your other suit?

54
00:03:09,077 --> 00:03:10,908
Why didn't you rap that guy
in the face?

55
00:03:11,113 --> 00:03:14,241
For the same reason that I floss
and keep my guitar in its case.

56
00:03:14,449 --> 00:03:15,438
I'm over 23.

57
00:03:15,651 --> 00:03:17,881
I'm proud of you for
handling it peacefully, Jeff.

58
00:03:18,086 --> 00:03:21,715
Like a certain little birthday boy.
Heh-heh-heh.

59
00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:24,585
Real men turn the other cheek.
Let's see them.

60
00:03:25,060 --> 00:03:27,255
Nonsense. Men were wired
to fight each other

61
00:03:27,462 --> 00:03:29,259
so women could choose
the right mate.

62
00:03:29,464 --> 00:03:33,628
No, the real reason men fight
is to release their pent-up gayness.

63
00:03:33,835 --> 00:03:35,530
That guy wasn't gay,
he had a mustache.

64
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,136
You know what I have? Finals.

65
00:03:37,339 --> 00:03:38,931
Are we cramming
for Spanish or not?

66
00:03:39,141 --> 00:03:41,473
I need a 65
or I'm gonna flunk the class.

67
00:03:43,045 --> 00:03:45,775
Why didn't you do the extra credit
if you knew that you were

68
00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:46,948
failing?

69
00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:50,312
Because doing more than the
minimum work is my definition of

70
00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:51,508
failing.

71
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,744
Quick question.

72
00:03:52,954 --> 00:03:55,923
Are you all coming to my
Christmas party right after the final

73
00:03:56,124 --> 00:03:59,287
or are you stopping home to
change into your Christmas outfits?

74
00:04:02,864 --> 00:04:04,627
I guess I could wear
one of my Hanukkah sweaters.

75
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:09,570
Ah. Annie, I didn't know
you weren't, um, Christian.

76
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:13,400
Yep, one might
even say I'm Jewish.

77
00:04:13,608 --> 00:04:15,838
Oh, that's good for you.
That's wonderful.

78
00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:17,909
I respect all religions of the world.

79
00:04:18,313 --> 00:04:19,746
I'm Muslim.
Jehovah's Witness.

80
00:04:19,948 --> 00:04:22,007
Atheist.
The Lord is testing me.

81
00:04:22,217 --> 00:04:25,516
Guys, this is a subject that
breeds conflict, can we please...?

82
00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,484
What religion are you, Jeff?
I'm agnostic.

83
00:04:29,224 --> 00:04:31,715
Agnostic. Lazy man's atheist.

84
00:04:33,228 --> 00:04:34,855
I'm born-again.
Oh!

85
00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:37,361
We had are-birthing ritual
in my friend's hot tub.

86
00:04:37,566 --> 00:04:41,502
I'm now a level five Laser Lotus
in my Buddhist community.

87
00:04:41,703 --> 00:04:44,695
That does not sound like Buddhism.
You sure you're not in a cult?

88
00:04:44,906 --> 00:04:49,206
Just by asking me that question,
you put me back down to a level four.

89
00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:51,845
You now owe me
2000 Energon Cubes.

90
00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:54,015
Do you know how foolish
you sound right now?

91
00:04:54,216 --> 00:04:56,446
What else do you believe in,
blood transfusions?

92
00:04:56,651 --> 00:04:59,313
Jehovah's Witnesses are
a type of Christian, right, Troy?

93
00:04:59,521 --> 00:05:04,117
Yeah, but we don't celebrate birthdays
or Christmas, and we can't drink.

94
00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:05,293
But it helps.

95
00:05:05,494 --> 00:05:06,620
So you're like a Muslim.
Assalamu alaikum.

96
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,920
Shama-lama-ding-dong.

97
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:10,758
Well, don't we have
a diverse little family.

98
00:05:10,966 --> 00:05:13,298
I say we open up this party
to all faiths.

99
00:05:13,502 --> 00:05:15,060
I brought my Star of Bethlehem,

100
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:18,103
which led the wise men
to the savior of all mankind.

101
00:05:18,306 --> 00:05:22,709
And you guys can bring a little trinket
or doodad from your philosophies.

102
00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:23,900
Sounds good?

103
00:05:24,112 --> 00:05:26,945
As an agnostic, I'm gonna
bring my winning smile.

104
00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:42,294
Ugh! So boring.

105
00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:45,322
Done. Hee, hee!

106
00:05:48,437 --> 00:05:50,200
Feliz navidad.

107
00:05:50,939 --> 00:05:54,898
"True or falso
or none of the above?"

108
00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:56,509
That doesn't make any sense.

109
00:05:59,915 --> 00:06:03,544
Hey, look at that,
Forehead's taking a test.

110
00:06:03,752 --> 00:06:06,152
Why don't you get going,
Chuck Norris?

111
00:06:07,055 --> 00:06:09,615
Did you just shoo me?
Why don't you just kiss him already?

112
00:06:09,825 --> 00:06:12,191
Dude, I will shoo your nose
down your throat.

113
00:06:12,394 --> 00:06:14,988
Señor Chang, can you do
something about this?

114
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:16,820
I'll allow it.

115
00:06:17,032 --> 00:06:19,523
Qué pasa here, huh?

116
00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:23,868
It's usted, dude. Even I know that.

117
00:06:27,242 --> 00:06:30,643
You picked the wrong day to correct
my Spanish, No Sleeves. It's on.

118
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:32,973
He's doing this for me.
He's my bodyguard.

119
00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:34,944
You wanna dance?
To some show tunes?

120
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:37,084
No, I want to beat you,
and I'm gonna enjoy it.

121
00:06:37,285 --> 00:06:38,582
Because you're like this school.

122
00:06:38,787 --> 00:06:42,154
You're obnoxious, cramping my style
and you smell like french-fry oil.

123
00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:43,847
I don't get it.

124
00:06:44,059 --> 00:06:47,153
Three o'clock. Bike rack,
but not the one by the parking lot.

125
00:06:47,362 --> 00:06:50,525
Right, the one by the trash cans, near the orange
cones, where they're building the wheelchair ramp.

126
00:06:51,099 --> 00:06:54,591
Yeah.
Best exam ever.

127
00:06:54,803 --> 00:06:56,794
That guy's awesome.

128
00:07:01,243 --> 00:07:03,370
So help me, if that
jerkweed made me fail.

129
00:07:03,578 --> 00:07:05,910
Well, I aced it, amigo.
That means cousin.

130
00:07:06,114 --> 00:07:07,547
So, what's my role going to be?

131
00:07:07,749 --> 00:07:10,479
Is there a key moment where
I stand up for myself, take revenge?

132
00:07:10,685 --> 00:07:12,744
Uh, maybe you should
just hang back.

133
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,888
Yeah, I will. In his face.

134
00:07:15,090 --> 00:07:17,149
Whatever you do,
don't tell Shirley about the fight.

135
00:07:17,359 --> 00:07:20,419
She'll start in with all her
mothery guilt-inducing powers.

136
00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:21,926
You know what I mean?
No.

137
00:07:22,130 --> 00:07:24,928
I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet
because it gets me chicks.

138
00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:26,361
I know guys like this Mike.

139
00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:28,536
He used to be a nerd,
now he's a meathead.

140
00:07:28,737 --> 00:07:29,897
Dangerous combo.

141
00:07:30,105 --> 00:07:33,233
Tyson, Lou Ferrigno,
Rosie O'Donnell.

142
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:35,705
You're a pretty big dude.
You've probably got moves.

143
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,436
Yeah, I got some theories.

144
00:07:38,647 --> 00:07:40,808
You've never been in a fight?
Technically, no.

145
00:07:41,016 --> 00:07:43,985
I guess I'm too charming
and likeable. Call me a name.

146
00:07:45,086 --> 00:07:46,348
I can't.
Mm.

147
00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:48,785
Are you telling me you've never
been punched in the face?

148
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,390
No, thank God.
This is the moneymaker.

149
00:07:51,593 --> 00:07:54,494
First time I got punched in the face,
I was like, "Oh, no."

150
00:07:54,696 --> 00:07:58,029
But then I was like, "This is a story."

151
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,262
And a good one.
Yeah.

152
00:08:00,468 --> 00:08:03,631
Every man should be punched
in the face. It's a rite of passage.

153
00:08:03,838 --> 00:08:06,568
In my day, Friday night was
smoke a doobie, feel up a gal

154
00:08:06,775 --> 00:08:08,766
and then get your teeth
knocked out by a Republican.

155
00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:12,310
Guys, the plan here isn't for me
to get hit. It's for me to hit him.

156
00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:13,703
Oh, then it's settled.

157
00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:15,746
We have to teach Jeffrey
how to fight.

158
00:08:15,951 --> 00:08:17,248
I know a few moves.

159
00:08:17,452 --> 00:08:19,420
Troy, I assume you're
handy with a switchblade.

160
00:08:19,621 --> 00:08:23,421
Abed, you get back to the family tent,
try to find a chicken for Jeff to chase.

161
00:08:24,225 --> 00:08:28,719
Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm,
but I think I got this.

162
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,795
Oh, well, look who it is.

163
00:08:30,999 --> 00:08:35,993
We got Forehead, Old Head,
Dumb Head and the Other Head.

164
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:37,598
See you at 3, Forehead.

165
00:08:39,174 --> 00:08:40,232
Give me a snowman, dork.

166
00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:44,602
See this, funny guy? Huh?

167
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:49,075
Huh?

168
00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:52,450
Classic Rosie.

169
00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:54,144
Fight lessons in a half an hour?

170
00:08:54,956 --> 00:08:56,218
Good plan.

171
00:09:07,268 --> 00:09:08,701
Hello.

172
00:09:08,903 --> 00:09:11,497
Oh! Is this your Hanukkah holder?

173
00:09:11,706 --> 00:09:13,833
It's, uh... It's pretty.

174
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:16,374
We'll just, uh... Let's just put it here.

175
00:09:16,578 --> 00:09:18,273
There we go. That's nice.

176
00:09:18,813 --> 00:09:23,216
So I can't believe
I never knew you were a Jew.

177
00:09:24,219 --> 00:09:26,687
I'd say the whole word next time.

178
00:09:29,257 --> 00:09:32,658
So do you think everyone
will start arriving soon?

179
00:09:32,861 --> 00:09:35,261
I think they're gonna come
after Jeff's fight.

180
00:09:35,463 --> 00:09:36,487
After Jeff's what, now?

181
00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:39,128
Jeff wants to fight that bully.

182
00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,027
On Christmas?

183
00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:43,700
Will you excuse me for a moment?

184
00:09:44,406 --> 00:09:47,170
Can you finish the manger scene?

185
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:51,840
We know you were one of us.

186
00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:58,347
What's up? What's up?

187
00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:01,215
What's up.
No, it's a question.

188
00:10:01,423 --> 00:10:03,152
What's up?
What's up?

189
00:10:03,358 --> 00:10:07,021
Not a real question, a rhetorical one.
You have the answer, he does not.

190
00:10:07,228 --> 00:10:09,321
Then you give them
the Forest Whitaker eye.

191
00:10:09,531 --> 00:10:10,896
Oh, that's pretty good.

192
00:10:11,099 --> 00:10:13,090
Okay, hold that stare.
There you go.

193
00:10:13,301 --> 00:10:17,203
Hold it. Then, look straight through
his eyes and deep into his soul.

194
00:10:17,405 --> 00:10:18,804
And then you move to Vermont.

195
00:10:19,007 --> 00:10:21,271
I'm sick and tired of you
saying that fighting is gay.

196
00:10:21,476 --> 00:10:23,944
She's got a point. In boxing,
you fight for the purse and a belt.

197
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:27,637
I've gotta write a paper about that.
Let's see what we're working with.

198
00:10:27,849 --> 00:10:30,716
Go ahead,
throw a few at the old paws.

199
00:10:32,053 --> 00:10:34,112
What are you?
A North Korean seamstress?

200
00:10:34,322 --> 00:10:37,052
Not if that's bad.
Get mad, come on!

201
00:10:37,258 --> 00:10:39,692
If it helps, think of me
as somebody who annoys you.

202
00:10:41,062 --> 00:10:42,427
That's it. That's good.

203
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,291
Britta, put your blouse back on.

204
00:10:44,632 --> 00:10:46,793
Ohh! Ow!

205
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:49,002
This is not a game.
You gotta be ready for anything.

206
00:10:49,204 --> 00:10:51,104
Dude, that is not cool.

207
00:10:51,306 --> 00:10:53,399
Well, that foxy black girl thinks it is.
Hm?

208
00:10:53,608 --> 00:10:54,632
Aah!

209
00:10:54,843 --> 00:10:56,970
What are you doing?
Why she have to be black?

210
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,702
What is going on?

211
00:10:58,913 --> 00:11:04,749
We're trying to get Jeff
ready for the fight.

212
00:11:06,354 --> 00:11:08,049
I couldn't think of another word.

213
00:11:08,256 --> 00:11:09,223
Idiot.

214
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:11,119
He meant we were figh...

215
00:11:12,894 --> 00:11:15,328
ting. It is hard to
think of another word.

216
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,895
You realize there's
no way to take this

217
00:11:17,098 --> 00:11:19,396
than as a giant middle finger to
the most important day of the year.

218
00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:22,263
December 10th?
It's our Christmas.

219
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:23,960
And I'm having a party.

220
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:26,436
Due to my divorce,
and my relatives picking sides,

221
00:11:26,641 --> 00:11:29,439
this will be the only Christmas party
I throw this year.

222
00:11:29,644 --> 00:11:30,633
Will you be there

223
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:34,309
or will I have another family
letting me down?

224
00:11:34,516 --> 00:11:36,211
I told him not to fight.

225
00:11:36,417 --> 00:11:38,317
He wouldn't listen.

226
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,945
I don't know what that is.

227
00:11:44,859 --> 00:11:48,158
Jeffrey, I have two boys.

228
00:11:48,363 --> 00:11:50,160
And when we have
a serious discussion,

229
00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:53,163
I find that a brownie
helps them to relax.

230
00:11:53,835 --> 00:11:56,702
So why do you hate me and Jesus?

231
00:11:57,705 --> 00:11:59,138
I don't think my brownie's working.

232
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:02,639
Please don't do something so ugly
on a day so important to me.

233
00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:04,607
Again, it's December 10th.

234
00:12:05,380 --> 00:12:07,109
You think religion is stupid.

235
00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:10,409
No, no. To me,
religion is like Paul Rudd.

236
00:12:10,618 --> 00:12:13,086
I see the appeal and would never
take it away from anyone,

237
00:12:13,288 --> 00:12:14,983
but I would also never
stand in line for it.

238
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:18,318
And, look, the die has been cast
with this crazy bully guy.

239
00:12:18,526 --> 00:12:21,154
He picked on Abed,
and he corrected my Spanish.

240
00:12:21,996 --> 00:12:24,055
So you go to your party
and I'll see you soon.

241
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:27,234
Jeffrey, I forbid you from fighting.

242
00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:30,571
Well, you don't get to.
You're not my mom.

243
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:35,334
You're right, but if you show up for
the fight, don't show up for my party.

244
00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:38,706
Oh, come on, Shirley, don't be mad.
I'm not mad, I'm disappointed.

245
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:41,347
That's Mom for mad.

246
00:12:48,456 --> 00:12:51,550
Oh, hash browns and
applesauce, that's nice.

247
00:12:51,759 --> 00:12:54,284
Oh, what is that interesting smell?

248
00:12:54,495 --> 00:12:56,690
It's a traditional Muslim dish.

249
00:12:56,898 --> 00:12:58,160
Looks delicious.

250
00:12:58,366 --> 00:13:00,891
I'm guessing as a woman
I won't be allowed to eat that.

251
00:13:01,102 --> 00:13:03,161
That's too bad.

252
00:13:04,005 --> 00:13:06,530
Oh, look, Britta brought
what she believes in.

253
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:07,765
Nothing.

254
00:13:07,976 --> 00:13:09,671
Where should I put
my Buddha incense holder?

255
00:13:09,878 --> 00:13:11,402
I'm pretty sure that's a bong.

256
00:13:13,081 --> 00:13:14,548
Where's Jeff?

257
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:18,844
I guess he made his choice.

258
00:13:19,454 --> 00:13:20,682
I wanna go to Jeff's fight.

259
00:13:20,889 --> 00:13:23,915
As I told Jeff, no one that goes
to the fight can come to my party.

260
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:28,323
He's dead to me. And if any of you
leave you'll be dead to me too.

261
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:30,024
Let's sing.

262
00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:36,437
Everybody.

263
00:13:38,673 --> 00:13:40,766
Come on, everybody.
You don't know it?

264
00:13:40,975 --> 00:13:44,411
You're banning Jeff from the party?
That doesn't seem very Christian.

265
00:13:45,246 --> 00:13:49,307
Well, that's an interesting point
of view coming from an atheist.

266
00:13:49,884 --> 00:13:52,910
I did my best to create
a special Christmas

267
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,248
for my one intact family.

268
00:13:55,456 --> 00:13:58,755
And, ahem, this is the thanks I get?

269
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,190
Shirley, you are a guilt machine.
Mm.

270
00:14:01,396 --> 00:14:04,627
And Annie knows a thing or two
about guilt, am I right, Jew?

271
00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:06,656
Say the whole word.

272
00:14:07,902 --> 00:14:09,426
Jewie?

273
00:14:09,637 --> 00:14:12,663
You would never catch
a Jehovah's Witness saying "Jewie."

274
00:14:12,874 --> 00:14:15,274
Tell it to the birthday cake
you never got.

275
00:14:15,476 --> 00:14:17,000
You know, there's an
old Buddhist saying...

276
00:14:17,211 --> 00:14:19,509
You are not a Buddhist,
you are in a cult.

277
00:14:19,714 --> 00:14:20,942
Suck it, Nietzsche.

278
00:14:21,149 --> 00:14:24,516
Guys, everyone's faith is weird.
Let's just not talk about it.

279
00:14:31,893 --> 00:14:33,190
Guys, guys.

280
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:37,455
Guys, guys, are we really gonna
let religion divide us like this?

281
00:14:37,665 --> 00:14:39,633
I think there's one thing
we can all agree on.

282
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,062
I get 72 virgins in heaven.

283
00:14:41,269 --> 00:14:44,966
No, that we would all like
to have Jeff at this party.

284
00:14:45,473 --> 00:14:47,839
Mm. He can't come. Mm-mm.
Shirley.

285
00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:51,842
I get that this is your first Christmas
since your husband left you.

286
00:14:52,046 --> 00:14:55,106
And I don't know, maybe that's why
you're being so stubborn,

287
00:14:55,316 --> 00:14:58,046
because you're trying so hard
to recreate something

288
00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:00,720
that you're afraid
that you've lost forever.

289
00:15:00,922 --> 00:15:03,823
But if you really want us
to be your second family,

290
00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:06,220
then you've gotta start
treating us like one.

291
00:15:07,595 --> 00:15:08,892
Even if that means supporting us

292
00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:11,327
when we do things
that you don't agree with.

293
00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:14,333
And you can start
by rooting for Jeff

294
00:15:14,535 --> 00:15:18,130
while he rolls around on the ground,
groping another man.

295
00:15:20,274 --> 00:15:22,208
That's what I'm gonna do.

296
00:15:34,188 --> 00:15:36,679
The cranberry sauce
has real cranberries.

297
00:15:37,225 --> 00:15:40,752
If this dude doesn't show up,
we're definitely going to Applebee's.

298
00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:43,795
Because I'm getting into a fight
no matter what today, I'm telling you.

299
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,762
Oh, look who showed up.

300
00:15:46,968 --> 00:15:49,198
Oh, check him out. Ohh!

301
00:15:50,905 --> 00:15:52,463
What's up, dude?

302
00:15:52,673 --> 00:15:54,334
No backup today, huh?

303
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:57,238
Looks like grandpa and weirdo couldn't
show up to get their teeth knocked out.

304
00:15:57,445 --> 00:16:00,937
Can I ask you a question? Are you
perpetually on your way to the gym?

305
00:16:01,149 --> 00:16:02,616
Dude, my life is a gym.

306
00:16:03,251 --> 00:16:05,185
Well, what's up? What's up?
What's up, man?

307
00:16:05,386 --> 00:16:06,910
What's up? What's up?
What's up? What's up?

308
00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:08,554
What's up?
What's up?

309
00:16:08,756 --> 00:16:09,916
What's up?
What's up? What's up?

310
00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:12,917
Whoa.

311
00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:17,387
Dude, what is that?
One sec, these are very expensive.

312
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:19,955
What is he doing?

313
00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:23,160
All right.

314
00:16:23,905 --> 00:16:25,167
Dude, you wear a bracelet?

315
00:16:30,745 --> 00:16:32,872
Your name is Mike, right?
So?

316
00:16:33,081 --> 00:16:35,276
Mike, I'm not gonna fight you.

317
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:40,282
I have a friend that believes this is the time of year
where you put aside your differences and make peace.

318
00:16:40,688 --> 00:16:44,818
Me? I don't believe in any of that,
but I do believe in friendship.

319
00:16:45,026 --> 00:16:47,790
And as much as I hate you
and the cast of Breakin',

320
00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:50,793
I have to ask myself,
what would Shirley do?

321
00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:54,329
Oh, no.
What would Shirley do?

322
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:58,665
I think that she would
shake your hand

323
00:16:58,873 --> 00:17:00,500
and wish you a Merry Christmas.

324
00:17:03,344 --> 00:17:05,244
Jeffrey.

325
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:07,346
Kick his ass.

326
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,641
Cavalry's here. Shirts off, boys.

327
00:17:09,851 --> 00:17:11,876
Come on, I'm being punk'd, right?

328
00:17:12,086 --> 00:17:13,451
Kick them. Come here.

329
00:17:40,781 --> 00:17:43,306
Please, it's Christmas.
It's December 10th.

330
00:17:43,518 --> 00:17:44,644
Ow!

331
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,611
Not the moneymaker,
not the moneymaker.

332
00:17:47,822 --> 00:17:49,050
Ow! Ow!

333
00:17:54,629 --> 00:17:55,789
You're welcome.

334
00:18:43,978 --> 00:18:44,967
Yeah.

335
00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:46,237
Thank you.
Yeah.

336
00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:48,677
Yeah.
Thank you.

337
00:18:48,883 --> 00:18:51,909
Thank you, I get it.
Yes, it is I, Señor Chang.

338
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:53,780
Shakira, hold this.

339
00:18:53,988 --> 00:18:58,516
So I have finished grading
everyone's finals.

340
00:18:58,726 --> 00:19:01,889
And all of you are moving on.

341
00:19:02,096 --> 00:19:03,757
Yeah.
Yes.

342
00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:05,693
Yes.
Yeah.

343
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,697
Ha, ha. Except for Jeff.

344
00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:10,894
Oh.
It turns out, you...

345
00:19:11,606 --> 00:19:13,836
Pause for dramatic effect.

346
00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:16,668
- will be seeing me next semester.

347
00:19:16,877 --> 00:19:19,402
No!

348
00:19:19,614 --> 00:19:24,483
In Spanish 102, ha-ha-ha!
Because he passed, you know.

349
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,518
And I'm the only Spanish teacher.
Yay!

350
00:19:27,722 --> 00:19:29,280
I meant about Jeff passing.

351
00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:32,584
You being our Spanish teacher, eh.

352
00:19:33,794 --> 00:19:35,056
Whoa.

353
00:19:35,296 --> 00:19:36,490
Man, Mike got you good.

354
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:39,097
Actually, that was
my present to Jeff.

355
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,133
Ha, ha. I don't care.
I've got a mountain to shred.

356
00:19:44,038 --> 00:19:47,405
Jeffrey, you're a man now.
How does it feel?

357
00:19:47,608 --> 00:19:50,441
I got hit in the face, like, four times
before you punched me.

358
00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,739
Well, some people just
don't know how to say thank you.

359
00:19:53,948 --> 00:19:55,609
Pierce, thank you.

360
00:19:58,419 --> 00:20:04,358
And thanks to all of you for
showing up and having my back

361
00:20:04,558 --> 00:20:06,788
when we fought those fly dancers.

362
00:20:06,994 --> 00:20:08,154
So, uh...

363
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:10,158
Ooh!

364
00:20:10,364 --> 00:20:13,765
Merry...
No, no, no, holiday.

365
00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:17,904
Actually, I was gonna say, "Merry
semester and happy new one."

366
00:20:21,108 --> 00:20:22,973
Switch?
Switch, switch, next glass.

367
00:20:23,177 --> 00:20:25,236
Okay, he's running out.
He's running out.

368
00:20:42,496 --> 00:20:44,157
Why do you guys do stuff like this?

369
00:20:45,066 --> 00:20:47,591
Because it's fun.
Yeah.

370
00:21:05,353 --> 00:21:06,911
Don't move.

371
00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:09,052
This nose smells like special drink.

372
00:21:10,265 --> 00:21:20,265
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