1 00:00:03,329 --> 00:00:08,744 Before we start, I'd like to have a preliminary powwow, or prelimi-wow, 2 00:00:08,745 --> 00:00:11,680 about what I'm calling our library's back door conundrum. 3 00:00:12,082 --> 00:00:13,447 Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet. 4 00:00:13,650 --> 00:00:14,617 Abed, ew. 5 00:00:15,652 --> 00:00:17,517 The door on that side is locked after 5, 6 00:00:17,721 --> 00:00:19,780 which means that most us have to walk all the way around. 7 00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:21,890 Now if we were to move our meetings to 4:30... 8 00:00:22,092 --> 00:00:23,616 No. 9 00:00:25,362 --> 00:00:27,728 I have a regular class at that time. 10 00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:30,195 It's like Math or other regular classes. 11 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,800 Yeah. I have something unimportant that can't ever move. 12 00:00:33,003 --> 00:00:36,131 Well, maybe one of us could stand by the back door and let the rest in? 13 00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:38,239 Mm. I nominate Pierce. Where is he? 14 00:00:38,441 --> 00:00:40,068 I have not seen him around all day. 15 00:00:40,577 --> 00:00:41,805 I haven't either. 16 00:00:43,079 --> 00:00:44,239 Has anyone called him? I did. 17 00:00:44,447 --> 00:00:46,244 Several times, actually. But he never returned my calls. 18 00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,440 Oh, no. 19 00:00:48,785 --> 00:00:51,049 Oh. The last thing I said to him was, "Suck it." 20 00:00:51,254 --> 00:00:52,744 Me too. Good morning. 21 00:00:52,956 --> 00:00:54,480 Ha-ha-ha. Yes. 22 00:00:54,691 --> 00:00:56,488 Oh, thank God. Whew. 23 00:00:56,693 --> 00:00:58,285 You thought I was dead, didn't you? 24 00:00:58,495 --> 00:00:59,860 No. I did. 25 00:01:00,063 --> 00:01:02,190 Do you people have any idea how emasculating that is? 26 00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:03,755 I'm not Mickey Rooney. 27 00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:06,128 You don't have to cross your fingers to see if I'll show up. 28 00:01:06,336 --> 00:01:10,033 You know, when I was 30, people used to wish that I was dead to my face. 29 00:01:10,607 --> 00:01:11,699 That's called respect. 30 00:01:11,908 --> 00:01:14,934 Mm. Who is the lucky brunette? 31 00:01:15,145 --> 00:01:17,272 Last name Beeswax, first name Nunnuyuh. 32 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,072 Oh, my third wife was biracial. 33 00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:23,044 Stop it. I am trying to keep you out of trouble. 34 00:01:23,253 --> 00:01:25,380 What if the next girl saw these? Well, then 35 00:01:25,589 --> 00:01:26,578 she would know it was hers. 36 00:01:28,258 --> 00:01:31,193 Jeff, you're sleeping with a woman you already slept with? 37 00:01:31,394 --> 00:01:34,557 Can't I be the friend in the group whose trademark is his well-defined boundaries? 38 00:01:34,764 --> 00:01:38,632 Like Privacy Smurf, Discreet Bear or Confidentiality Spice? 39 00:01:38,835 --> 00:01:41,929 Why would you keep her a secret? Don't you want us to meet her? 40 00:01:42,138 --> 00:01:44,436 We have an agreement to keep it low-key. 41 00:01:44,941 --> 00:01:46,533 That's ridiculous. Obviously, it's a guy. 42 00:01:46,743 --> 00:01:48,836 You're wrong, Pierce. It's two guys. 43 00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:51,070 Sometimes I do wish you were dead. 44 00:01:51,748 --> 00:01:53,113 Thank you. 45 00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:04,389 Hey, what's up, man? Boo! 46 00:02:04,594 --> 00:02:05,583 Hey, what's up, J-Dog? 47 00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:09,292 Yeah. Ha-ha-ha. 48 00:02:09,499 --> 00:02:11,091 Hey, what's up, man? What's up? 49 00:02:21,444 --> 00:02:22,433 Sorry I'm late. 50 00:02:26,082 --> 00:02:27,606 Uh, and step into place. 51 00:02:27,817 --> 00:02:31,913 Six, seven, eight, and reach. Two, three, four, pose. 52 00:02:32,122 --> 00:02:33,180 Reach back and arm. 53 00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:36,281 Professor Slater, quick question. 54 00:02:36,493 --> 00:02:38,427 You know the answer. I don't date students. 55 00:02:38,628 --> 00:02:40,858 Even if you are no longer in my Statistics class. 56 00:02:41,064 --> 00:02:43,624 I'm actually kind of seeing someone right now, thank you very much. 57 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:46,324 Really? How's that going? Fine for now. She's smart, pretty. 58 00:02:46,536 --> 00:02:50,199 But sometimes I feel like she's just waiting for me to stop talking and take off my pants. 59 00:02:51,374 --> 00:02:53,137 She is. 60 00:02:56,513 --> 00:02:58,378 I've never been someone's dirty little secret. 61 00:02:58,581 --> 00:03:00,242 I've never had a dirty secret. 62 00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:01,474 It's so unprofessional. 63 00:03:01,685 --> 00:03:03,710 But the sneaking does make the sex 38 percent hotter. 64 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,480 Wow, you do like statistics, don't you? 65 00:03:09,559 --> 00:03:11,720 Hey, midterms and whatever. Chalk. 66 00:03:11,928 --> 00:03:13,828 Professor Slater, there's that transcript you wanted. 67 00:03:14,030 --> 00:03:18,228 Jeff, I didn't expect to see you here. Hopefully I'm not interrupting. 68 00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:22,327 You know, we laugh, 69 00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:25,269 but the fact is, student-teacher relationships do happen. 70 00:03:25,475 --> 00:03:28,376 And they are a magnet for lawsuits, so we do stay vigilant. 71 00:03:28,578 --> 00:03:31,069 In fact, physically attractive students and faculty 72 00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:33,340 are actually placed on a watch list. 73 00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:36,212 And are ranked by their potential to incite fraternization. 74 00:03:36,419 --> 00:03:37,886 You rank people by how hot they are? 75 00:03:38,088 --> 00:03:40,147 You got it, number two. 76 00:03:40,357 --> 00:03:42,757 Dean Pelton. Yes, Professor Seven... Uh, Slater? 77 00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,621 I'll return this tomorrow. Okay, then. 78 00:03:45,829 --> 00:03:47,490 You guys be extra careful now. 79 00:03:47,697 --> 00:03:50,530 Two people of your rankings in this small a room, 80 00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:53,202 with this type of lighting, and his upper body 81 00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:56,270 and what her heels and hemline are doing to enhance 82 00:03:56,473 --> 00:03:59,067 what were already quite a few favors from God, 83 00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:02,244 it's all the more important to keep it tasteful. Heh. 84 00:04:11,521 --> 00:04:13,512 I think he might have ruined... It's dead. 85 00:04:14,924 --> 00:04:17,222 Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 86 00:04:17,427 --> 00:04:20,055 Arm, head, and pose. 87 00:04:20,263 --> 00:04:23,232 I can't wait for the recital. You were all wonderful. 88 00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:26,732 Especially you, Troy. Thank you, Madame LeClair. 89 00:04:28,037 --> 00:04:31,632 And if any of you mention my dancing outside of class, 90 00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:36,141 I will break off your legs and use them to smash in your friends' cars. 91 00:04:38,615 --> 00:04:39,980 Oh! Huh! 92 00:04:43,353 --> 00:04:45,116 Oh, my God. 93 00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:49,725 Troy, since when have you taken modern dance? 94 00:04:49,926 --> 00:04:52,827 Since last semester. Coach told me it would help with my coordination. 95 00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:56,556 And I fell in love with it, in a very straight way. 96 00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,261 I know it's tempting to sneak a peek, 97 00:04:58,468 --> 00:05:00,959 but I'm gonna need for you to keep your eyes up here. 98 00:05:01,171 --> 00:05:03,537 I should have never dismissed you as a shallow jock. 99 00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:06,231 Then again, we haven't really spent much time together. 100 00:05:06,443 --> 00:05:08,434 That's because you don't play football or have fun. 101 00:05:08,645 --> 00:05:11,443 I have fun tap dancing. I started last semester too. 102 00:05:11,648 --> 00:05:13,479 It was always something I wanted to do, 103 00:05:13,683 --> 00:05:16,550 but it was too embarrassing, so I never told anyone. 104 00:05:16,753 --> 00:05:18,311 Same here. 105 00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:22,355 Britta, nobody can know about this. Troy, who are we kidding? 106 00:05:22,559 --> 00:05:25,221 Look at how much time and energy we're putting into hiding something 107 00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:28,090 that we're passionate about. We are leading a double life. 108 00:05:28,298 --> 00:05:31,028 I am spending a lot of money on breakaway clothing. 109 00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:34,226 We should look at this as an opportunity to come clean. 110 00:05:34,437 --> 00:05:36,371 Are you saying we tell the group? Together? 111 00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:39,371 We could invite them to the dance recital on Friday. 112 00:05:41,978 --> 00:05:45,072 Man, I don't know. Let me think about it. 113 00:05:49,486 --> 00:05:52,853 Okay, let's do this. Ahem! Sorry. 114 00:05:54,624 --> 00:05:55,682 Mr. Winger. 115 00:05:55,892 --> 00:05:58,861 Would you come to my office? We never finished our intercourse. 116 00:06:00,129 --> 00:06:01,426 I have study group right now. 117 00:06:01,631 --> 00:06:04,464 And nobody uses "intercourse" to mean anything other than sex. 118 00:06:05,535 --> 00:06:07,093 Look, this is a wall of windows. 119 00:06:07,303 --> 00:06:09,464 My study group's behind it. I know. 120 00:06:09,672 --> 00:06:12,038 Look, as soon as we touch, the blinds will open, 121 00:06:12,242 --> 00:06:15,075 and six annoying but lovable misfits will be staring at us. 122 00:06:15,278 --> 00:06:16,506 Come on, what are the odds? 123 00:06:18,648 --> 00:06:20,081 Fine. 124 00:06:27,223 --> 00:06:28,247 Now, was that so bad? 125 00:06:29,526 --> 00:06:32,757 Hey, could you open the back door? 126 00:06:40,937 --> 00:06:44,429 You all remember Michelle Slater, my professor from last semester. 127 00:06:45,008 --> 00:06:47,442 As most of you may have realized by now, 128 00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:50,204 she's the woman I've been seeing lately. 129 00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:53,373 Why are they looking at me like I'm a zoo animal? 130 00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,141 Jeff acts as sort of the dad of the group. 131 00:06:55,351 --> 00:06:57,182 So, emotionally, this is like being told you're our new mom. 132 00:06:57,820 --> 00:07:00,414 But you know it's nothing like that, right? 133 00:07:00,623 --> 00:07:01,954 Absolutely. You cook macaroni? 134 00:07:02,158 --> 00:07:03,455 I have. Macaroni's my favorite. 135 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,527 The important thing is we all understand 136 00:07:06,729 --> 00:07:10,790 Professor Slater and I need this to be our little secret. 137 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,695 Everyone understand that? Yes. 138 00:07:12,902 --> 00:07:14,961 Hey, my macaroni noodle is so good. 139 00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:17,139 Sure, sure. The pepper jack, 140 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,205 and you bake it. See? All good. 141 00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:22,037 Well, thank you, everyone. I appreciate it. 142 00:07:22,245 --> 00:07:23,712 I should get going. Yeah. 143 00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:24,880 Mm. Ooh. 144 00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:32,112 Bye. Bye. 145 00:07:33,122 --> 00:07:36,751 Well, Jeff, you've taken a big step in knocking down the barriers 146 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,396 between students and teachers. It's like Rosa Parks. 147 00:07:40,897 --> 00:07:42,990 I don't think it's like that. No, it's just like that. 148 00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:46,794 I feel if you need to explain it, it's not just like that. 149 00:07:47,537 --> 00:07:49,402 Is your heart gonna be okay with this? 150 00:07:49,606 --> 00:07:53,838 I will try to find the tools to survive. Okay. 151 00:07:54,177 --> 00:07:55,906 Hey, everybody, speaking of secrets, 152 00:07:56,112 --> 00:07:57,272 Troy and I have something 153 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,107 that we would like to announce. Aah! 154 00:07:59,315 --> 00:08:01,840 No, no. There is a dance recital on Friday, 155 00:08:02,051 --> 00:08:03,916 and I would be honored if you guys would attend. 156 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,486 Because since last semester, I 157 00:08:07,991 --> 00:08:09,754 have been taking a tap class. 158 00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:13,957 That's funny. 159 00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:16,154 Well, I don't know how funny it is. 160 00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:20,632 Come on, we're not making fun of you, but, obviously, you kept it a secret 161 00:08:20,837 --> 00:08:22,702 because you saw the irony too. Irony? 162 00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:25,305 Well, you're not a typically vulnerable or feminine person. 163 00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:28,136 And the act of dancing is considered both vulnerable and feminine. 164 00:08:28,678 --> 00:08:31,806 I disagree. What about Fred Astaire? What about Baryshnikov? 165 00:08:32,015 --> 00:08:34,813 Yeah, I guess. There are exceptions to the rule. 166 00:08:35,018 --> 00:08:37,384 But even when Jerry Rice went on Dancing With the Stars... 167 00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:40,215 Jerry Rice? Oh, my God. 168 00:08:40,423 --> 00:08:41,720 Oh, I liked him. 169 00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:45,893 Troy, what's your secret? 170 00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:48,354 Um... 171 00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:53,567 M-my secret is that 172 00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,730 I knew Britta's secret. 173 00:08:57,273 --> 00:08:59,969 Yeah. I saw her in her dance outfit and she looked ridiculous. 174 00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:04,237 So I helped her protect her shame. You know, I'm just glad she's out now. 175 00:09:04,447 --> 00:09:05,744 Bravo, Britta. Thanks. 176 00:09:05,948 --> 00:09:08,007 Mr. Winger, there you are. 177 00:09:08,217 --> 00:09:11,084 Just got word of your relationship with Professor Slater. 178 00:09:12,255 --> 00:09:15,053 I'd like to see both of you in my office in half an hour. 179 00:09:15,258 --> 00:09:17,658 None of you left the room. How is that even possible? 180 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,090 Well, for one thing, it's all over Twitter. 181 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,167 Britta in a tutu. Can you imagine? Ha-ha-ha. 182 00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,099 Hey. What the hell? 183 00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:31,899 I thought we were supposed to come out to the group together. 184 00:09:32,108 --> 00:09:34,576 Yeah. I changed my mind. 185 00:09:34,777 --> 00:09:36,711 Well, they're gonna find out that you dance at the recital. 186 00:09:36,913 --> 00:09:39,609 I'm not gonna be in the recital. I'm dropping the class. 187 00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:43,183 Oh, my God, how can you do this to me? I'm so disappointed in you. 188 00:09:43,386 --> 00:09:46,480 Hey, you don't get to talk to me like that. You are not Shirley. 189 00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:48,247 And Shirley's not my mom. 190 00:09:48,991 --> 00:09:51,084 Britta, it's not like we were in the same boat. 191 00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:52,818 Girls are supposed to dance. 192 00:09:53,029 --> 00:09:55,259 That's why God gave them parts that jiggle. 193 00:09:55,465 --> 00:09:59,265 But I'd be going from starting quarterback to a guy that twirls around in tights. 194 00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:02,302 I've got way more to lose getting up on that stage because I'm a man. 195 00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:03,597 Well, guess what? 196 00:10:03,806 --> 00:10:07,105 A real man doesn't bail on his friends, or on himself. 197 00:10:08,811 --> 00:10:11,871 You're a dancer, Troy. It's who you are. 198 00:10:13,282 --> 00:10:15,147 Not anymore. 199 00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:18,546 Excuse me. Whoa. 200 00:10:19,956 --> 00:10:21,821 Come on. 201 00:10:23,025 --> 00:10:24,356 Upset about Jeff? 202 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,290 No, I am upset about 203 00:10:27,864 --> 00:10:29,627 something I can't talk about. 204 00:10:29,832 --> 00:10:33,563 We could talk about anything. Politics, medicine, Jeff. 205 00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:36,398 Okay, uh, did you hear that the Shroud of Turin is actually...? 206 00:10:36,606 --> 00:10:39,166 Here's the thing about Jeff. Wow. 207 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:43,145 Chasing after you made him a better person because you always call him on his stuff. 208 00:10:43,346 --> 00:10:45,974 All this time, you've been warming him up and stirring in sweetener, 209 00:10:46,182 --> 00:10:47,809 and making him just right. 210 00:10:48,017 --> 00:10:49,644 And sure, you weren't ready to take a sip yet. 211 00:10:49,852 --> 00:10:51,717 But it didn't mean you want somebody to snatch him off the counter, 212 00:10:51,921 --> 00:10:53,013 guzzle him down in front of you. 213 00:10:53,222 --> 00:10:57,158 Shirley, I did not warm Jeff up. Nobody ever will. 214 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,158 Do you think Professor Slater is getting flowers right now? 215 00:11:00,363 --> 00:11:03,264 Do you think they are gonna go to the movies and hold hands? 216 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,768 Visit her parents? No. 217 00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:08,266 The only thing keeping them going was the thrill of the secrecy. 218 00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:11,497 And now that it is out, it is over. Believe me. 219 00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:16,508 Can... Can I just ask, as a divorced, black housewife? 220 00:11:16,712 --> 00:11:20,273 What part of being a single, white slacker makes you people so jaded? 221 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:24,317 Ooh. "You people"? What do you mean, "you people"? 222 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,147 I cannot believe I got to say that. 223 00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,717 Heh-heh. It's the little things, isn't it? 224 00:11:28,925 --> 00:11:31,450 Okay, well, now that your secret is out there, 225 00:11:31,661 --> 00:11:34,391 I'm just gonna talk you through this teacher-student relationship form, 226 00:11:34,597 --> 00:11:37,464 and then we can get you two on your very attractive way. 227 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,362 We haven't even admitted to being a couple. 228 00:11:39,569 --> 00:11:42,299 In fact, this is all based on hearsay. Worse than hearsay. 229 00:11:42,505 --> 00:11:45,167 Pierce's Twitter account, in which he says he's 47, 230 00:11:45,374 --> 00:11:47,467 and teaches a women's-only Pilates class. 231 00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:49,668 Jeff, it's okay. It's out. 232 00:11:49,879 --> 00:11:51,710 And you know what? It doesn't bother me. 233 00:11:51,914 --> 00:11:53,711 I'm happy. Sweet. 234 00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:58,652 Mm. First question. How long have you been doing it? 235 00:11:59,088 --> 00:12:02,819 Oh, not "it." I mean, this, dating. 236 00:12:03,025 --> 00:12:04,993 A few weeks. Mm-hm. 237 00:12:05,194 --> 00:12:08,186 And how long have you been doing it? 238 00:12:08,764 --> 00:12:11,995 We don't have to answer that. Oh, it's... Hmm? 239 00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:15,102 Now, this is just hypothetical. 240 00:12:15,304 --> 00:12:18,171 Might you ever consider spending the night with a third person? 241 00:12:18,374 --> 00:12:21,605 That's not on there. Uh... 242 00:12:22,144 --> 00:12:23,338 Wow, it's on there. 243 00:12:23,546 --> 00:12:26,208 Just exploring your options, obviously. Heh-heh-heh. 244 00:12:26,716 --> 00:12:29,549 No agenda. I'll put TBD. 245 00:12:29,752 --> 00:12:32,277 Would you describe yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend? 246 00:12:32,488 --> 00:12:33,978 Yes. Eh... 247 00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:35,919 What? Oh, boy. 248 00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:38,252 It's semantics, really, isn't it? 249 00:12:39,662 --> 00:12:41,994 We've slept together every night for the last three weeks. 250 00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:45,429 How would you describe me? The best friend ever. 251 00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:47,032 Oh. 252 00:12:47,436 --> 00:12:50,894 Well, uh... I guess I've had the wrong idea about us. 253 00:12:51,474 --> 00:12:56,434 You know what, this is good. I'd be better off dating, um, an adult. 254 00:12:56,646 --> 00:12:58,375 See you around. Michelle. 255 00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,546 Rowr. 256 00:13:03,886 --> 00:13:05,251 I'll get the breakup form. 257 00:13:12,328 --> 00:13:15,161 I got freaked out by that boyfriend label. 258 00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:18,228 I'm afraid of commitment. 259 00:13:18,434 --> 00:13:19,799 How original. Look, 260 00:13:20,002 --> 00:13:21,230 the biggest truths aren't original. 261 00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:24,600 Truth is ketchup, it's Jim Belushi. 262 00:13:24,807 --> 00:13:27,674 Its job isn't to blow our minds, it's to be within reach. 263 00:13:27,877 --> 00:13:31,244 So the truth is, I get claustrophobic when things get official. 264 00:13:31,447 --> 00:13:33,415 You're acting like I'm a Venus flytrap. 265 00:13:33,616 --> 00:13:35,675 I didn't want or need more than what we were doing. 266 00:13:35,885 --> 00:13:37,750 Let's get back to it. Should I get the door? 267 00:13:37,954 --> 00:13:39,854 I can't now because you went to the friend place. 268 00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:41,921 That's you getting official, not me. 269 00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:44,490 Because unless there's something I need to know about the lunch lady, 270 00:13:44,694 --> 00:13:48,095 or that blond in your Spanish class with the infinite supply of leather jackets, 271 00:13:48,297 --> 00:13:50,322 somewhere between our ninth and 11 th slumber party, 272 00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:53,661 statistically speaking, most people would call us more than pals. 273 00:13:53,869 --> 00:13:57,100 Yeah, but soon as you say it, it can get complicated and messy. 274 00:13:57,306 --> 00:13:59,331 How? Because when you say it, 275 00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:01,373 later on, you might have to unsay it. 276 00:14:01,577 --> 00:14:04,273 Whoopee flipping ding, Winger. It happens 50 million times a day. 277 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,710 It's the Jim Belushi of sexual commitments. 278 00:14:06,916 --> 00:14:09,976 It barely means anything, and it grows on what's there over time. 279 00:14:10,186 --> 00:14:12,780 Wow, that guy is really taking a pounding in this conversation. 280 00:14:13,889 --> 00:14:15,481 I'll see you around, Jeff. 281 00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:25,729 I really liked what we were doing. 282 00:14:25,935 --> 00:14:29,928 And if the ratio of work to pleasure can really stay at that same level, 283 00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:32,937 I don't care what it's called, I'll do it. 284 00:14:33,142 --> 00:14:34,769 Let's do it. 285 00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:44,184 Okay. 286 00:14:47,723 --> 00:14:49,156 Okay. 287 00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,128 Oh. That's a big crowd out there. Heh. 288 00:15:00,336 --> 00:15:02,531 Abed's really good at inviting people. 289 00:15:02,738 --> 00:15:05,673 We're all here to support you. Jeff even brought his girlfriend. 290 00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:09,367 Oh, she's his girlfriend now? Can't wait till he hears about it. 291 00:15:09,578 --> 00:15:12,103 Oh, he knows. They even had to file paperwork with the dean. 292 00:15:12,314 --> 00:15:13,804 It's pretty serious. 293 00:15:14,016 --> 00:15:16,314 Our little Jeff's growing up. Ha. 294 00:15:17,787 --> 00:15:19,618 Oh... 295 00:15:19,822 --> 00:15:21,187 Break a leg, Britta. 296 00:15:22,091 --> 00:15:25,060 I have no idea how someone could do what you're about to do. Heh-heh. 297 00:15:29,331 --> 00:15:31,424 I brought Goobers. Anybody want a Goober? 298 00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:33,033 Get them while they're goobie. 299 00:15:34,437 --> 00:15:36,405 Yeah. Showtime. 300 00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:42,233 Well, this is already ridiculous. Shh. 301 00:15:46,282 --> 00:15:48,443 "Tea for Two"? There... There's five people. 302 00:15:48,651 --> 00:15:50,243 Shh! 303 00:15:55,791 --> 00:15:57,486 Good Lord. 304 00:16:01,363 --> 00:16:03,228 Is she a water pot or a tea kettle? Shh. 305 00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:12,335 Any of you think the flowers are dying from the tea? 306 00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,065 Shh! 307 00:16:14,276 --> 00:16:15,402 Everyone can hear you. 308 00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:37,026 Britta. 309 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:44,661 Water it. 310 00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:48,171 What's going on? So embarrassing. 311 00:16:56,152 --> 00:16:57,517 Oh, plot twist. 312 00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:02,155 Easy girl. There we go. Uh... 313 00:17:02,491 --> 00:17:04,618 Uh... Ah! Uh... 314 00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:06,488 Thank you. 315 00:17:06,695 --> 00:17:07,821 Yeah. 316 00:17:08,297 --> 00:17:09,457 Play something modern. 317 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,960 What are you doing here? Being a friend and a man. 318 00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,161 Oh, thank you. 319 00:17:17,673 --> 00:17:19,197 Ah... 320 00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:22,571 Aah-aah! 321 00:17:35,424 --> 00:17:36,823 It's okay. 322 00:17:39,795 --> 00:17:43,561 Culturally, it's unacceptable, but it's theatrical dynamite. 323 00:17:47,136 --> 00:17:48,160 Hah. 324 00:17:54,643 --> 00:17:57,237 Whoo! Bravo. 325 00:17:57,479 --> 00:18:00,846 Whoo. Yeah, all right. Greendale. 326 00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:03,575 Greendale. 327 00:18:08,157 --> 00:18:10,682 Hi, guys. That was really cool. I wish I knew how to tap dance. 328 00:18:10,893 --> 00:18:12,121 Oh. Thanks, Abed. 329 00:18:12,328 --> 00:18:14,592 It takes a lot of hard work, but you could take a class. 330 00:18:14,797 --> 00:18:16,594 Hmm, pass. 331 00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:20,563 Hey, Troy, thank you. 332 00:18:20,769 --> 00:18:23,329 No, thank you. I mean, you looked so pathetic, 333 00:18:23,539 --> 00:18:25,973 you made going up there the most masculine option. 334 00:18:27,376 --> 00:18:28,775 Mm. 335 00:18:32,047 --> 00:18:33,674 Troy. Oh. 336 00:18:33,882 --> 00:18:35,611 What you did up there really took guts. 337 00:18:35,818 --> 00:18:37,786 I'm impressed. Thanks, Pierce. 338 00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:41,616 Yeah. And such a creative way to tell the world you're gay. 339 00:18:43,092 --> 00:18:44,457 Good job up there. Thank you. 340 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:47,458 Where's your date? Didn't she wanna get my autograph? 341 00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:50,723 Oh. She's getting a permission slip from the dean to allow us to drive home together. 342 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:54,096 Heard you guys are official now. Yeah, I guess. 343 00:18:54,303 --> 00:18:56,032 You actually had a big part in that. 344 00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:58,798 I mean, if I can handle having a girl for a friend, 345 00:18:59,008 --> 00:19:01,499 who's to say I'm not ready for a girlfriend? 346 00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:03,837 Makes perfect sense. Break a leg. 347 00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:09,344 Flowers. Yeah. 348 00:19:09,551 --> 00:19:11,018 Uh, is that...? That's what people do, right? 349 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,087 I was gonna throw them up on stage, but I thought they might catch fire. 350 00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:17,919 No, this is... This is good. You can hand them to me. Thank you. 351 00:19:19,094 --> 00:19:20,584 See you Monday. Bye. 352 00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:51,525 Good night, everybody. 353 00:19:56,131 --> 00:19:58,531 Five letters, Broadway musical. Annie. 354 00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:01,601 Uh, six letters, to puncture. Pierce. 355 00:20:01,804 --> 00:20:04,295 Um, a water filter that starts with B. Britta. 356 00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:06,064 Okay. There's a tough one, though. 357 00:20:06,275 --> 00:20:08,436 Um, Helen of... Troy. 358 00:20:08,644 --> 00:20:10,009 Oh, damn, you're good. Thank you. 359 00:20:10,212 --> 00:20:11,474 I never even heard of that last one. 360 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,012 All right, uh, one of the two brother actors, Bridges, 361 00:20:14,216 --> 00:20:16,047 four letters. 362 00:20:16,785 --> 00:20:18,946 Hmm. I know. Bridges. 363 00:20:19,154 --> 00:20:20,348 I don't know. Come on, guys, 364 00:20:20,556 --> 00:20:21,989 can't you see the pattern there? 365 00:20:22,191 --> 00:20:24,716 Can you see it? It's Beau, Beau Bridges. 366 00:20:24,927 --> 00:20:27,395 These are all things you can see on TV. 367 00:20:27,596 --> 00:20:28,927 Except for pierce, that's a misdirect. 368 00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:30,894 Oh. Oh. 369 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,035 I love misdirects. I love The Big Lebowski.