1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,100 Hey. Haven't seen you all day. 2 00:00:05,302 --> 00:00:06,496 Hah. I've been really busy. 3 00:00:06,704 --> 00:00:09,332 Plus I had to find 30 extra chairs for my classroom since it's Family Day. 4 00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:12,441 Oh. Speaking of, I was gonna invite my mom so you could meet her 5 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:14,873 but, uh, she still thinks I'm a lawyer. 6 00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:16,774 Oh, look. A Human Being has a little Human with it. 7 00:00:16,981 --> 00:00:18,471 How bloodcurdlingly adorable. 8 00:00:18,682 --> 00:00:20,309 Jeff, we need to talk. 9 00:00:20,518 --> 00:00:21,985 What's wrong? Are you breaking up with me? 10 00:00:22,186 --> 00:00:25,553 Oh. Heh-heh. Maybe we don't need to talk. 11 00:00:26,857 --> 00:00:29,155 I'm so excited for everybody to meet my sons. 12 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,487 Hope they're not twins. Twins freak me out. They always know what 13 00:00:31,695 --> 00:00:32,719 the other one is... Yeah. Thinking? 14 00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:34,625 And finishing each other's... Pie. 15 00:00:34,832 --> 00:00:37,426 Exactly. It's creepy. It's nice spending time with them. 16 00:00:37,635 --> 00:00:40,001 I don't get to see them that much since I started school. 17 00:00:40,204 --> 00:00:43,640 My sister likes to joke they don't recognize me anymore, and I like to joke she's just jealous 18 00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:45,706 because she's barren. Hmm. 19 00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:47,969 My dad's bringing cousin Abra. She's visiting from Gaza. 20 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:50,147 Does she look like you, but in a wig and lipstick? 21 00:00:50,347 --> 00:00:51,575 No, that's Halle Berry. 22 00:00:51,782 --> 00:00:55,218 Abra wears a full burka in public so she just looks like someone covered head to toe in black fabric. 23 00:00:55,419 --> 00:00:58,411 I can't believe my grandma's rolling her old bones down here. 24 00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:00,317 I gotta pick a cabinet to hide in. 25 00:01:00,524 --> 00:01:02,754 You hide from her? Yeah, she's crazy. 26 00:01:03,394 --> 00:01:07,524 Troy. Society programs us to dispose of the elderly because they don't work 27 00:01:07,731 --> 00:01:10,859 or buy things, but don't be blind to your grandmother's value. 28 00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:13,593 You need to cherish her. You cherish her. 29 00:01:13,804 --> 00:01:16,272 I'm sure I will. She's not gonna be around forever. 30 00:01:16,473 --> 00:01:19,738 I wanna believe you're right, Britta, but you never quite are, are you? 31 00:01:21,545 --> 00:01:23,308 Sorry, I'm late. Was somebody canoodling 32 00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:24,913 with a certain professor? 33 00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:27,882 Actually, no. She dumped me. 34 00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:32,355 Oh, no, that's so sad. I'll give Jeff a shoulder to cry on. 35 00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:34,547 You boys put a dead bird in that bitch's glove compartment. 36 00:01:34,758 --> 00:01:36,350 Got it. Guys, guys, sit. 37 00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:39,258 Shirley, I don't need to cry. I'm fine. 38 00:01:39,463 --> 00:01:42,193 Jeff, we're your friends. Let it all out. 39 00:01:42,399 --> 00:01:43,889 There's nothing to let out. 40 00:01:44,101 --> 00:01:46,160 I'm just glad I didn't have to do the dumping. 41 00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,362 Then I'd have to lay low for three weeks to look sensitive. 42 00:01:49,573 --> 00:01:52,565 To avoid questions of overlap, but as the dumpee, heh, 43 00:01:52,776 --> 00:01:54,744 I can start making out with every girl 44 00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:57,812 on campus now and all anyone will feel for me is sorry. 45 00:01:58,148 --> 00:01:59,547 Ew. Not anymore. 46 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,149 Your heart's desensitized, Jeff. 47 00:02:01,352 --> 00:02:03,946 You're like a machine. It feels no love, just sex. 48 00:02:04,154 --> 00:02:06,054 You're like the Booty-nator. 49 00:02:07,124 --> 00:02:09,058 You know, Booty-nator? Like "I'll be back," but with booty. 50 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,228 Why would Booty-nator be back with booty? 51 00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:12,588 Wouldn't he just try and kill it? 52 00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:14,661 Well, maybe he kills it, then brings it back as a trophy. 53 00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:17,299 Why would he want dead booty? I want Pirate's Booty. 54 00:02:17,501 --> 00:02:18,798 Because you're hungry? Guys. 55 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:23,270 I'll be back, but with booty. Yeah. 56 00:02:23,607 --> 00:02:24,835 That's beneath you. Gross. 57 00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:29,705 Well, you're too gorgeous to be a teacher 58 00:02:29,913 --> 00:02:32,211 and you're too happy to be a student. 59 00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,247 Take me to where your car broke down. 60 00:02:34,451 --> 00:02:38,080 I'm here for Family Day. I'm looking for my family. 61 00:02:38,289 --> 00:02:41,156 Oh. Well, at the very least, I could fill in for a creepy uncle. 62 00:02:41,358 --> 00:02:42,689 Jeff. Amber. 63 00:02:42,893 --> 00:02:44,155 There she is. 64 00:02:44,361 --> 00:02:46,261 Look at you, all grown up. 65 00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:49,528 Jeff, this is my stepdaughter, Amber. Small world. 66 00:02:49,733 --> 00:02:53,499 No, actually, it's a very big world with 5 billion other women in it. Heh-heh. 67 00:02:53,704 --> 00:02:55,103 Good luck. 68 00:02:55,306 --> 00:02:57,103 Come on, I'll show you around. 69 00:03:04,381 --> 00:03:05,814 I'm back. Without booty. 70 00:03:06,016 --> 00:03:07,847 Now I feel sorry for you. 71 00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:23,289 Hands in the air. Homeland Security. 72 00:03:23,901 --> 00:03:25,300 Boys, leave that man alone. 73 00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:26,825 Orange alert. Orange alert. 74 00:03:27,037 --> 00:03:28,299 Sorry. They're just excited. 75 00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:30,496 You're, uh, Abed's father? I'm Shirley. 76 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:34,974 And that's Elijah like the prophet and Jordan like the 14-time NBA All-Star. 77 00:03:35,546 --> 00:03:37,411 Gubi Nadir. Is it how you say hello? 78 00:03:37,848 --> 00:03:39,315 That's my name. 79 00:03:39,516 --> 00:03:42,815 Oh! I'm sorry, you... You're like a black ghost. 80 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:44,544 This is my cousin, Abra. 81 00:03:45,022 --> 00:03:47,149 Greetings. 82 00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:49,118 Over the course of seven marriages, 83 00:03:49,326 --> 00:03:53,194 I amassed some 32 stepchildren and obviously, Amber's my favorite. 84 00:03:53,397 --> 00:03:55,695 Yeah, there was something about his mass e-mails 85 00:03:55,899 --> 00:03:59,130 that made me certain this would be a family reunion. 86 00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:01,130 It sure is, sweetie. 87 00:04:01,338 --> 00:04:03,738 She's going to photography school. Oh, sounds interesting. 88 00:04:03,941 --> 00:04:04,930 Keep it in your pants. 89 00:04:05,142 --> 00:04:08,976 You're embarrassing yourself. She may be hot, but she's my princess. 90 00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:11,374 Step princess. 91 00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:13,579 Okay. Family Day. 92 00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:15,676 Let's see what we got here. 93 00:04:16,353 --> 00:04:19,754 Wow. I can't believe Star-Burns isn't a virgin. 94 00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:23,085 But judging from that Bluetooth headset, his son is. Ch-chang! 95 00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:25,458 Winger. 96 00:04:25,662 --> 00:04:26,890 Too cool for family? 97 00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:29,531 Everyone here is my family. Oh... 98 00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,598 Weak. Cute. 99 00:04:31,802 --> 00:04:33,497 Where's your family, El Tigre? Ugh. 100 00:04:33,704 --> 00:04:35,535 My older brother will be at the barbecue. 101 00:04:35,739 --> 00:04:39,539 And it's none of your business, but I ate my twin in utero. 102 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:42,040 Oh. Hey, Phantom Menace. 103 00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:44,237 How's the trade embargo with the Naboo? 104 00:04:44,448 --> 00:04:47,815 Anyway, oh, looks like Pierce broke the piggy bank 105 00:04:48,018 --> 00:04:49,645 at the escort service this time. 106 00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:51,320 Hey, duck sauce. That was rude. 107 00:04:51,522 --> 00:04:56,152 The call girls I frequent are not nearly as attractive as my daughter. 108 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,123 Stepdaughter. 109 00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:01,263 Technically, ex-stepdaughter. 110 00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:05,260 You know, your mother April... Mm-hm. Wanda, her name's... 111 00:05:05,469 --> 00:05:07,300 Was it Wanda? Yes. Yes. 112 00:05:07,504 --> 00:05:09,699 I need one sec. Excuse me. 113 00:05:09,907 --> 00:05:11,738 Uh, Jeff, Jeff. Uh... 114 00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:13,409 Cards on the table, Jeff. 115 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,272 Amber's the best shot I'll ever have 116 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,849 at something like a real daughter and I'm striking out. 117 00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:22,143 Have you told her she's prettier than a hooker? 118 00:05:22,352 --> 00:05:23,910 If you come to the barbecue... 119 00:05:24,121 --> 00:05:25,952 I know you'd never think of touching her. 120 00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:29,592 Maybe you could say a couple cool things about me. 121 00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:33,251 You want me to wingman you with your ex-stepdaughter? 122 00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:35,830 I'm sorry. I got a thing. 123 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,757 You have a thing? 124 00:05:38,969 --> 00:05:40,334 Yeah, and it's on the rebound. 125 00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:43,028 I'm not subjecting it to a night with a hot girl that I can't have. 126 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,969 You can't holster it for a friend? 127 00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:46,802 Please, Pierce is barely a friend. 128 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,841 He's no more related to Amber than you are, 129 00:05:49,046 --> 00:05:51,139 and was a total jag about shutting me down. 130 00:05:51,348 --> 00:05:53,441 How much effort do I rate? For you? 131 00:05:53,951 --> 00:05:56,613 Um, I'd break a light sweat. 132 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,082 Good, I need a favor. 133 00:05:58,288 --> 00:05:59,983 Help Pierce with his stepdaughter? 134 00:06:00,424 --> 00:06:02,654 You're becoming dangerous, Annie. 135 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,020 It's those doe eyes. 136 00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,629 Disappointing you is like choking the Little Mermaid with a bike chain. 137 00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,699 Is this Nana Barnes? 138 00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:15,963 Troy didn't mention you were such a knockout. 139 00:06:16,173 --> 00:06:18,107 What's that supposed to mean? Oh. Come on. 140 00:06:18,308 --> 00:06:20,538 I'm sure you've broken a few hearts in your time. 141 00:06:20,744 --> 00:06:21,768 Oh. 142 00:06:21,979 --> 00:06:23,037 Tell me. 143 00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:25,647 How many men do you think I've laid with? 144 00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:30,185 Who are you? I am Britta. 145 00:06:30,387 --> 00:06:32,947 And I have offended you and I am sorry. 146 00:06:33,156 --> 00:06:34,589 Is there anything I can get you? 147 00:06:35,225 --> 00:06:36,556 Yes. 148 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,751 You can get me a switch. A what now? 149 00:06:39,663 --> 00:06:42,257 She's not family, Nana. You can't make her get a switch. 150 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:45,162 She can make me get it. I just have to know what it is. 151 00:06:45,369 --> 00:06:48,099 A switch is a stick she can use to whoop you with. 152 00:06:51,441 --> 00:06:54,604 Cherish, Britta. Cherish. 153 00:06:54,811 --> 00:06:57,837 Heh. Well, it was wonderful meeting your brother. 154 00:06:58,048 --> 00:07:00,915 Adios, Señor Chang, shalom, Rabbi Chang, 155 00:07:01,118 --> 00:07:02,847 and to both of you, sayonara. 156 00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,483 Don't go. 157 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,214 Señor Chang? 158 00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:11,787 Ben, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? 159 00:07:11,995 --> 00:07:14,293 Okay, that is who I am. So drop it. 160 00:07:14,498 --> 00:07:16,295 Dropping. I'm dropping. 161 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,436 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Amber alert. You are allergic to peanuts. 162 00:07:20,637 --> 00:07:23,071 That might be a different step kid. 163 00:07:23,273 --> 00:07:24,365 My flight actually leaves so... 164 00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:29,308 Your flight actually leaves after I tell you a story called: 165 00:07:29,513 --> 00:07:31,242 Pierce Takes On The School Bully. 166 00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:35,376 Heh. Are you a ninja 167 00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,713 Oh, baby. Don't be rude. 168 00:07:37,921 --> 00:07:38,910 Uh, she's wearing a burka. 169 00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:40,851 It's a way women to express their modesty. 170 00:07:41,058 --> 00:07:44,619 They're like Islamic turtlenecks. Ask her if she wants to play with us. 171 00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:54,066 Bouncy house. 172 00:07:58,675 --> 00:08:01,508 Sounds heated. Did she call him a pig's anus or something? 173 00:08:03,347 --> 00:08:05,815 She's saying she's old enough to jump in a giant balloon. 174 00:08:07,851 --> 00:08:09,409 She's saying he's overprotective. 175 00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:13,889 Now she says he's a pig anus. 176 00:08:14,091 --> 00:08:15,422 That fight made me crave a hot dog. 177 00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:17,753 Stay put, boys. I'll be right back. 178 00:08:21,231 --> 00:08:24,029 Look at them. You are a bad mother. 179 00:08:24,234 --> 00:08:25,258 Control your children. 180 00:08:25,702 --> 00:08:29,035 I have to go back to my car and get my emergency shirt. 181 00:08:29,506 --> 00:08:31,269 And I don't even like that shirt. 182 00:08:32,743 --> 00:08:35,769 Not only did he join a band, they got jealous and booted him. 183 00:08:35,979 --> 00:08:37,003 Get out. 184 00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:39,307 Heh-heh. That's exactly what they said. 185 00:08:39,516 --> 00:08:42,383 Off to the bathroom, Stepdad. 186 00:08:43,987 --> 00:08:46,649 I've never been called Stepdad. I don't think anyone has. 187 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:50,520 Listen, when she gets back, come up with some reason why you have to leave, okay? 188 00:08:50,727 --> 00:08:52,354 I'll beg you to stay, but you don't. 189 00:08:52,562 --> 00:08:54,894 In fact, why don't you just leave now. Cut our work in half. 190 00:08:55,098 --> 00:08:56,326 Good luck, buddy. 191 00:09:04,641 --> 00:09:09,135 You're leaving? My girlfriend is pregnant. 192 00:09:09,346 --> 00:09:11,678 Pierce said you were gay. He... 193 00:09:11,882 --> 00:09:13,975 Yup. As the sunrise. 194 00:09:14,184 --> 00:09:15,344 And I'm deeply ashamed. 195 00:09:15,552 --> 00:09:18,453 I'm just glad I have friends like Pierce to keep me... 196 00:09:21,391 --> 00:09:22,949 Honest. 197 00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,097 This is slightly wrong. 198 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,995 Too much tongue? Just enough. 199 00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:33,533 But it... It's Pierce. 200 00:09:33,737 --> 00:09:35,671 You mean the guy who decided he doesn't want men 201 00:09:35,872 --> 00:09:39,205 touching his ex-stepdaughter, but divorced Mom for our housekeeper? 202 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:40,774 Could be the same guy, yeah. 203 00:09:40,977 --> 00:09:42,535 Amber? 204 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,475 Amber, there you are. 205 00:09:46,049 --> 00:09:49,314 Why are you here, Jeff? I go to school here, remember? 206 00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:52,420 Ahem. There's a Pictionary tournament in the student lounge. 207 00:09:52,622 --> 00:09:54,180 Sounds fun. Is Jeff joining us? 208 00:09:54,391 --> 00:09:56,951 I don't know if he can, can you? I can't. 209 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,422 Oh. Come on, stay. Stay. 210 00:09:58,628 --> 00:10:00,789 I can't. Maybe I shouldn't, either. 211 00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:04,690 Stay, Jeff. You think I should? 212 00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:05,890 I think you have to. 213 00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:07,536 I'll stay. Me too. 214 00:10:07,738 --> 00:10:09,603 Ha-ha. Good Family Day. 215 00:10:16,713 --> 00:10:17,907 What are you doing? 216 00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:20,413 Getting Nana a switch. 217 00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:23,347 Britta, stop pretending that my mean old nana is awesome. 218 00:10:23,553 --> 00:10:24,815 I'm not pretending. 219 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:27,785 I think it's cool that she's got her own style of discipline. 220 00:10:27,991 --> 00:10:29,424 Nana's old school. 221 00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:32,288 Yeah, my mom told me there'd be white people that did this. 222 00:10:32,496 --> 00:10:34,555 With the pocket watches and coffee grinders, 223 00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:36,562 and pretending to be into steamboats. 224 00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,792 But let's get this straight. 225 00:10:39,002 --> 00:10:40,469 This is real life. 226 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:42,501 My Nana is gonna whoop you. 227 00:10:42,706 --> 00:10:45,402 Not unless I find her a switch. 228 00:10:48,845 --> 00:10:50,437 How about this? 229 00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:52,444 Yeah, that's a great switch, Britta. 230 00:10:52,649 --> 00:10:54,674 Very hip. Should hurt a lot. 231 00:10:54,885 --> 00:10:56,580 Uh, where's Elijah and Jordan? Uh, Abed? 232 00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,983 Oh, what a surprise that you lost them. 233 00:10:59,189 --> 00:11:00,451 They're playing hide and seek. 234 00:11:00,657 --> 00:11:02,124 Uh, where? I don't think that's how it works. 235 00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:03,519 Stop screwing around, Abed. 236 00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:06,924 Hey, you want to yell at someone? Go find your crazy kids. 237 00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:09,291 My boy is disciplined. It's not his job... 238 00:11:09,499 --> 00:11:12,593 All right, you got me, Gubi. I'm a bad mother. 239 00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:16,200 I let my kids be kids instead of acting like a jail warden. 240 00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:19,136 Ah. You don't like her burka? I'm not talking about the burka. 241 00:11:19,342 --> 00:11:21,435 I'm talking about her never having any fun. 242 00:11:21,645 --> 00:11:24,375 Now Abra, you look me in the eyes and you tell me... 243 00:11:25,849 --> 00:11:26,838 Um... 244 00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:30,846 I'm sorry. I seemed to have forgotten the napkins. 245 00:11:31,054 --> 00:11:33,648 Do... Do you mind? Fine. 246 00:11:33,857 --> 00:11:35,017 Now I'm the napkin man. 247 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,068 Oh. Uh-huh. 248 00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:52,798 Circle. 249 00:11:54,511 --> 00:11:55,978 Circle with a squiggly line. 250 00:11:56,179 --> 00:11:57,237 Uh... Squiggly line circle. 251 00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:58,709 You... You did hear me say circle. 252 00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:03,651 Smiling sideways vagina. No. 253 00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:06,345 Happy sideways vagina. No. 254 00:12:07,624 --> 00:12:09,182 Happy face. 255 00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:10,484 And that's a clam? 256 00:12:10,694 --> 00:12:12,753 As happy as a clam. Yes. 257 00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:15,761 As happy as a clam? What a gay guess. 258 00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:17,934 Idiot. Pierce, you're up. 259 00:12:19,135 --> 00:12:20,727 Eat my dust, Winger. 260 00:12:20,937 --> 00:12:23,337 You do know we're on the same team? 261 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:24,764 Go. 262 00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:27,373 Uh... 263 00:12:28,311 --> 00:12:29,573 All right, here we go. Uh... 264 00:12:29,779 --> 00:12:31,110 Let's see. 265 00:12:35,151 --> 00:12:36,778 Look, I don't, uh... 266 00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,348 Pierce you have to add more. Draw more. 267 00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:46,596 Stop. Stop circling the same thing. 268 00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:49,629 Well, guess something, you girlfriendless geek. 269 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:53,064 What are you drawing? You're supposed to know, stupid. 270 00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:54,862 Relax. 271 00:12:55,438 --> 00:12:56,700 I'll get this. 272 00:13:00,176 --> 00:13:02,838 I think they'll both drop charges, but we gotta take statements. 273 00:13:03,046 --> 00:13:04,138 It's gonna be a while. 274 00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:07,282 And I may just be a simple cop, but people need to know. 275 00:13:07,484 --> 00:13:10,976 This isn't gonna stop until Pictionary bans the word windmill. 276 00:13:11,388 --> 00:13:14,551 Pierce, we'll meet you at the gala. We're gonna go get you some coffee. 277 00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:16,282 Is coffee code for sex? 278 00:13:18,428 --> 00:13:19,417 Is it? 279 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:21,054 No. 280 00:13:22,232 --> 00:13:25,599 Nana, here's your switch. Bring it here. 281 00:13:29,306 --> 00:13:30,398 I'll make do. 282 00:13:30,607 --> 00:13:32,507 Okay. Let me have it. 283 00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:34,609 I ain't no nun. Bend over. 284 00:13:37,948 --> 00:13:40,508 Drop your pants and get over my lap. 285 00:13:41,217 --> 00:13:43,117 All you have to do is walk away. 286 00:13:58,134 --> 00:14:01,103 What are you doing? She's respecting her elders. 287 00:14:01,304 --> 00:14:03,169 See Troy? Did you think I was a hypocrite? 288 00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:05,671 That I wouldn't really... Okay, that really... 289 00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:07,433 Oh! Okay, that really... 290 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,705 I don't understand you, Britta. 291 00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:16,750 I don't understand you at all. 292 00:14:19,556 --> 00:14:20,545 You know what? 293 00:14:20,757 --> 00:14:22,622 Totally wrong room. Will you get the door? 294 00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:26,285 Uh... She's had enough. 295 00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:28,191 Oh... She's had enough. 296 00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:36,804 Let's focus on you, the forbidden fruit 297 00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:39,339 that is the ex-stepdaughter of a casual acquaintance. 298 00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:42,602 Oh, oops. Don't wanna lose that. 299 00:14:43,646 --> 00:14:46,137 Why do you have a $25,000 check from Pierce? 300 00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:48,844 Tuition for fashion school. 301 00:14:49,052 --> 00:14:50,144 Not photography school? 302 00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:54,222 You caught me. 303 00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:56,187 Uh... Maybe I'll just buy a car. 304 00:14:56,593 --> 00:14:57,992 And you can just do that, huh? 305 00:14:58,194 --> 00:15:00,958 Well, it helps that he's kind of desperate and stupid. 306 00:15:01,164 --> 00:15:04,600 Did you wanna be a good person right now or did you wanna be with me? 307 00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:12,230 Oh, there you are. 308 00:15:12,442 --> 00:15:13,636 Thanks a lot, Pollyanna. 309 00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:16,073 You made me hang out with Pierce and his stepdaughter. 310 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:18,304 She's grifting him. She's what? 311 00:15:18,515 --> 00:15:20,005 She's taking a bunch of money from him. 312 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:23,310 He thinks it's for school, but it's for grifting. 313 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,511 Did you tell him? 314 00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:28,085 It's not that simple. It's not? 315 00:15:29,492 --> 00:15:31,517 Oh, my... Jeff. 316 00:15:31,728 --> 00:15:34,219 Gross. You're gross. 317 00:15:34,431 --> 00:15:36,592 You did it with her? Yeah, but not twice. 318 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,028 I wanted to do it twice. 319 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,326 That's gross. 320 00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:44,064 You met her this morning. You're faster than some bacteria. 321 00:15:44,274 --> 00:15:46,071 Are you just doing this because Slater hurt you? 322 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:48,039 What? No, I'm not hurt. 323 00:15:48,244 --> 00:15:49,404 And Amber threw herself at me. 324 00:15:49,612 --> 00:15:52,911 Well, you still have to tell Pierce that she's taking advantage of him, don't you? 325 00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:56,984 Well, when you think about it, nobody's getting hurt. 326 00:15:57,187 --> 00:16:00,179 Pierce is getting a daughter, Amber's getting an allowance, I'm getting... 327 00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:03,120 We already talked about it. But don't forget this is Pierce. 328 00:16:03,326 --> 00:16:05,260 He's a racist, homophobic old goof. 329 00:16:05,462 --> 00:16:06,895 He does bad stuff all the time. 330 00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:09,497 Well, it sounds like you've got it all figured out, 331 00:16:09,699 --> 00:16:11,667 so why are you talking to me about it? 332 00:16:13,169 --> 00:16:15,228 Because you're... 333 00:16:15,939 --> 00:16:16,997 You know. 334 00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:18,902 A decent person? Maybe. 335 00:16:19,109 --> 00:16:21,873 And you knew talking to me about it would make you feel like a bad friend. 336 00:16:22,078 --> 00:16:25,844 You wanted to feel like a bad friend because you wanna be a good friend? 337 00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:27,949 You really suck, you know that? 338 00:16:32,388 --> 00:16:35,118 Mm, mm, mm! Go get you and your brother some Ding Dongs and calm down. 339 00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,519 Okay. 340 00:16:36,726 --> 00:16:39,024 What's up? Oh. Abed, did your family take off? 341 00:16:39,229 --> 00:16:42,460 Yeah. Thanks for distracting my dad while we helped Abra get back in her burka. 342 00:16:42,665 --> 00:16:45,429 Well, if a young lady wants to go in a bouncy house, she should go. 343 00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:48,035 It was a noble thing you did. Oh, I didn't do it. 344 00:16:48,238 --> 00:16:51,002 No, it was Jordan and Elijah's idea. They're good kids. 345 00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:52,970 If they weren't, they wouldn't help Abra. 346 00:16:53,176 --> 00:16:55,474 I see why you were so excited for me to meet them. 347 00:16:55,678 --> 00:16:56,940 You should be proud of them. 348 00:16:57,147 --> 00:16:59,206 You're a good mom. Oh. Come on. 349 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,613 Hey, Mom. Look what I got. 350 00:17:05,522 --> 00:17:06,682 Ding Dongs, my favorite. 351 00:17:08,892 --> 00:17:10,359 Mm. Ha-ha. 352 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,618 Pretty rough, huh? Mm. 353 00:17:11,828 --> 00:17:12,817 You were right. 354 00:17:13,029 --> 00:17:15,497 Nana is a monster. What did you say? 355 00:17:15,698 --> 00:17:17,723 I said you were a monster, ma'am. 356 00:17:17,934 --> 00:17:21,062 And you said Troy was right. 357 00:17:21,938 --> 00:17:23,064 Get me a switch. 358 00:17:23,706 --> 00:17:25,196 Okay. 359 00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:31,174 Hey, stranger. 360 00:17:31,381 --> 00:17:32,939 Wanna pick up where we left off 361 00:17:33,149 --> 00:17:35,242 after I log some time with Daddy Warbucks? 362 00:17:35,451 --> 00:17:37,578 No, Amber. Uh... 363 00:17:37,854 --> 00:17:41,051 I thought about it and what I want is for you to tear up that check 364 00:17:41,257 --> 00:17:43,157 and go dance with your stepdad. 365 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,384 Are you trying to get me to cut you in? 366 00:17:45,595 --> 00:17:46,687 You don't have leverage. 367 00:17:47,096 --> 00:17:49,291 If I walk over there and tell him everything, 368 00:17:49,499 --> 00:17:51,091 guess who he'll forgive. 369 00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:54,566 You, but I'd rather be the bad guy than watch you siphon him. 370 00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:55,760 How about this? 371 00:17:55,972 --> 00:18:00,204 I walk away and if the check clears, I won't make problems for you. 372 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,570 I'll stay gone. 373 00:18:01,778 --> 00:18:03,245 Come back whenever you want, 374 00:18:03,446 --> 00:18:06,108 but be good to him when you do because I'll be around. 375 00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:07,908 I'm his friend. 376 00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:10,878 And you can be his stepdaughter, or not. 377 00:18:14,123 --> 00:18:15,112 Yeah. 378 00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:16,849 I'll take the 25 grand. 379 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:20,689 Over him, I'd take 25 cents. 380 00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:22,262 Bye. 381 00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:27,198 Oh, Jeff. Heh. 382 00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:30,668 Have you seen Amber? Yeah. 383 00:18:30,873 --> 00:18:33,398 Listen, Pierce. Uh... I gotta tell you something. 384 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:34,975 She's not coming, is she? 385 00:18:35,178 --> 00:18:37,237 I wrote her a pretty big check this afternoon. 386 00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:39,938 I had a feeling she might take it and run. 387 00:18:40,149 --> 00:18:43,312 You want me to help you cancel it? Oh, hell, she earned it. 388 00:18:43,987 --> 00:18:46,581 You're lucky, Jeff. It's not too late for you. 389 00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:49,917 Have a family. Share your life. 390 00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:52,356 That and understanding computers are two things 391 00:18:52,562 --> 00:18:55,292 you just can't knock out at the end. 392 00:18:56,132 --> 00:18:59,898 Pierce, who did you call last week after you farted on Vaughn? 393 00:19:00,169 --> 00:19:01,830 Ha-ha. You. And who did Abed call 394 00:19:02,038 --> 00:19:04,097 after that squirrel stole his hotdog? 395 00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:06,366 Me. That's sharing your life. 396 00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:08,737 If you have friends, you have family. 397 00:19:12,448 --> 00:19:14,177 Jeffrey. 398 00:19:16,152 --> 00:19:17,881 Come here, son. 399 00:19:25,328 --> 00:19:27,091 Are we hugging or dancing? 400 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:28,930 You know, if the roles were reversed, 401 00:19:29,132 --> 00:19:32,067 I would have had sex with your ex-stepdaughter. 402 00:19:32,268 --> 00:19:33,496 I did. 403 00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:37,564 Chip off the old block. 404 00:19:37,774 --> 00:19:40,140 It was either that or deal with your actual pain. 405 00:19:40,343 --> 00:19:42,140 What pain? 406 00:19:42,412 --> 00:19:44,073 Twelve o'clock. 407 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,845 Oh, are you kidding me? l... 408 00:19:52,655 --> 00:19:54,987 It's okay, it's okay. 409 00:19:56,225 --> 00:19:57,385 Let it out. 410 00:19:57,593 --> 00:20:01,825 We always used to watch the shows she wanted to watch. 411 00:20:02,131 --> 00:20:05,362 I hate Glee. I'm not crazy about Glee, either. 412 00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:07,468 I hate it. 413 00:20:07,904 --> 00:20:09,838 I don't understand the appeal at all. 414 00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:16,939 Why did we do this again? 415 00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:19,808 We thought it looked fun. Is your cell phone in your pocket? 416 00:20:20,016 --> 00:20:22,849 Yeah, but I can't reach it. I can only move my right arm. 417 00:20:23,052 --> 00:20:24,314 Okay. There's money already in there. 418 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,080 Slide your arm through that bottom slot and press the button G-14. 419 00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,986 When a snack is selected, the mechanical lever that's holding it will be thrust forward, 420 00:20:30,193 --> 00:20:32,753 thereby knocking your cell phone out of your pocket and into the receptacle below. 421 00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:34,691 We could pick it up and call for help. 422 00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:35,955 Here we go. 423 00:20:43,606 --> 00:20:44,800 Troy? 424 00:20:45,007 --> 00:20:47,407 I think I hit G-13.