1 00:00:02,531 --> 00:00:04,033 Good morning, greendale! 2 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:06,538 As you know, it is April fool's day. 3 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,890 Just kidding—it's the day before April fool's. 4 00:00:08,958 --> 00:00:10,768 Baba booey, baba booey, baba booey. 5 00:00:10,835 --> 00:00:13,720 You know what, leonard? Strike two! 6 00:00:15,664 --> 00:00:19,156 Anyway, just reminding you to keep any April fool's prank 7 00:00:19,224 --> 00:00:21,535 Physically safe, politically balanced, 8 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,175 And racially accessible. 9 00:00:23,242 --> 00:00:25,082 When in doubt, check the guidelines 10 00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:26,520 In our college pranks literature. 11 00:00:26,589 --> 00:00:29,958 I>- "guidelines for school-sanctioned pranks." 12 00:00:30,026 --> 00:00:31,859 Huh, reminds me of my favorite college comedy. 13 00:00:31,927 --> 00:00:34,263 - Oh, which one? - Exactly. 14 00:00:34,328 --> 00:00:35,884 See, the dean doesn't get it. 15 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,612 The point of a practical joke is to shake up the system. 16 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,284 For example, who wants some of these? 17 00:00:41,352 --> 00:00:42,921 Cool, yeah. 18 00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:47,561 Looking for something? 19 00:00:47,629 --> 00:00:49,064 - Nice. - Oh! 20 00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:51,000 They allow student volunteers for campus security 21 00:00:51,068 --> 00:00:52,836 During times of heightened shenanigans. 22 00:00:52,904 --> 00:00:55,006 - Oh! - I want to be security. 23 00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:57,042 Ooh, let's do it together. We can be partners. 24 00:00:57,110 --> 00:00:58,979 That's a buddy cop movie I would watch. 25 00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:00,581 But I wonder which of you would be by the book, 26 00:01:00,649 --> 00:01:01,816 And which of you would be the bad-ass. 27 00:01:01,884 --> 00:01:03,986 Oh, abed, you're so silly. 28 00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,156 I'd be the bad-ass. 29 00:01:06,224 --> 00:01:08,093 Greetings, mortals! 30 00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:10,596 Morning! Snake in a can? 31 00:01:10,664 --> 00:01:12,431 Oh, no, thanks. I'm fasting. 32 00:01:12,499 --> 00:01:13,734 My buddhist church 33 00:01:13,802 --> 00:01:15,704 Is having its annual ascension ceremony, 34 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,372 And I will be becoming 35 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:21,478 A level six laser lotus. 36 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,084 I know. I was speechless too. 37 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,555 Anyway, I have to detoxify for the ceremony. 38 00:01:27,624 --> 00:01:31,295 I get all the nutrients I need with salt water and honey. 39 00:01:34,101 --> 00:01:35,369 Even better if it goes down the wrong— 40 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,640 The wrong pipe. 41 00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:40,646 So what happens in level six? 42 00:01:40,713 --> 00:01:43,083 Well, nobody in my hive has ever seen a six. 43 00:01:43,150 --> 00:01:44,318 But, uh, from what I hear, 44 00:01:44,385 --> 00:01:45,587 I'll have immunity to germs, 45 00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:47,089 Heightened psychic ability, 46 00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,659 And improved night vision. 47 00:01:48,727 --> 00:01:50,428 I>- Any bonuses to your kombat score? 48 00:01:50,496 --> 00:01:52,498 I assume I'll fight better if I can see more. 49 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:53,568 Dumb ass. 50 00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:56,038 Hey, pierce, I just remembered. 51 00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:58,978 Right before you got here, some guy was delivering 52 00:01:59,046 --> 00:02:00,915 Level six ceremonial robes? 53 00:02:00,983 --> 00:02:03,152 What? Why didn't you tell me? 54 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,823 Maybe if you run, you can catch him. 55 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:08,629 Way to use your brain, winger. 56 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,999 Abed, how fast can you run to the theater department? 57 00:02:11,066 --> 00:02:12,433 37 seconds. 58 00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:13,936 Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go. 59 00:02:14,004 --> 00:02:16,474 Got it. 60 00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:19,212 Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naivete 61 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,984 Of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult? 62 00:02:22,052 --> 00:02:24,622 I>- Oh, well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it. 63 00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:26,926 Everything does. She's a buzz kill. 64 00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:28,562 I'm not a buzz kill. 65 00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:29,797 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:29,865 --> 00:02:31,033 Yeah, that doesn't really describe it. 67 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,036 You're more of a fun vampire, 68 00:02:33,104 --> 00:02:35,808 Because you don't suck blood, you just suck. 69 00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,978 He wasn't there. 70 00:02:38,046 --> 00:02:39,816 Oh, I think abed found him. 71 00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:41,919 Hey, give me that. 72 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:48,697 Ohh. It's amazing. 73 00:02:48,765 --> 00:02:50,199 Wow! 74 00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:52,604 It is absolutely gorgeous. 75 00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:53,939 How do I look? 76 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,074 Yeah? 77 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,545 - Magical. - Great. 78 00:03:00,251 --> 00:03:02,387 Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is britta. 79 00:03:02,455 --> 00:03:04,926 Do you ever get tired of being a buzz kill? 80 00:03:04,994 --> 00:03:07,097 ? T× I can't count? T× 81 00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:10,304 ? T× the reasons I should stay? T× 82 00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:14,779 This is gonna be exciting, ladies. 83 00:03:14,847 --> 00:03:17,148 I hereby deputize you 84 00:03:17,216 --> 00:03:20,420 As campus security for 48 hours. 85 00:03:20,488 --> 00:03:21,623 Your windbreakers. 86 00:03:24,295 --> 00:03:25,865 Your whistles. 87 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,307 Oh! Oh, okay. 88 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:37,518 Okay, now, I only have the one pepper spray. 89 00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:38,688 It's mine. 90 00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:40,090 But I'll just get my groceries 91 00:03:40,158 --> 00:03:41,259 In a better neighborhood this week. 92 00:03:41,326 --> 00:03:42,762 I'll carry it. 93 00:03:42,829 --> 00:03:45,532 Between the two of us, I'm sort of the bad-ass. 94 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,469 You are? Uh, how do you figure? 95 00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:49,372 I don't know, shirley. How did you figure I wasn't? 96 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,509 I guess I didn't figure because I was too busy 97 00:03:51,578 --> 00:03:52,845 Being the obvious bad-ass. 98 00:03:52,913 --> 00:03:55,216 Sounds like we're both pretty convinced. 99 00:03:55,284 --> 00:03:57,320 I guess we'll find out who's right once we're on the job. 100 00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,723 Hmm, I guess we will. 101 00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:01,160 I'm sorry, what is going on here? 102 00:04:01,228 --> 00:04:02,162 A twist on a classic formula. 103 00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,464 Normally, with buddy cops, 104 00:04:03,532 --> 00:04:04,567 One's a straight-laced stickler, 105 00:04:04,634 --> 00:04:05,802 And the other's a renegade. 106 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,206 But these two have equal claim to both roles. 107 00:04:08,274 --> 00:04:09,642 And why are you here? 108 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:11,477 Well, short answer: 109 00:04:11,545 --> 00:04:13,181 My cable went out. 110 00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:18,055 hey... Can I run something by you? 111 00:04:18,123 --> 00:04:20,392 ? T× I was thinking of pulling a little prank tonight? T× 112 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,427 All right. 113 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,131 For April fool's, a prank. 114 00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:25,101 So you know how they have live frogs 115 00:04:25,168 --> 00:04:26,236 In the anatomy lab? 116 00:04:26,303 --> 00:04:27,572 Oh, yeah. 117 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,843 So I was gonna sneak in there, get a frog, 118 00:04:29,911 --> 00:04:30,978 And then tomorrow, 119 00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:32,715 When se?±or chang's class is coming in, 120 00:04:32,783 --> 00:04:34,954 There will be a frog on his desk 121 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,894 Wearing... 122 00:04:37,962 --> 00:04:39,964 Ta da! 123 00:04:42,703 --> 00:04:44,138 Oh, you're done. 124 00:04:44,206 --> 00:04:45,374 Did you read the hat? 125 00:04:45,441 --> 00:04:47,477 - Se?±or chang. - Yeah. 126 00:04:47,545 --> 00:04:49,582 Oh, you don't get it. 127 00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:52,821 - I guess I don't. - The frog is chang. 128 00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:54,658 Okay, I did get it. It's funny. 129 00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,095 I know it's funny. Oh, wait, I forgot— 130 00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,767 It's not your kind of joke. It's not at anyone's expense. 131 00:04:59,835 --> 00:05:01,804 Britta, why waste your time envying my gift for levity 132 00:05:01,872 --> 00:05:03,273 When there's so much you could be doing 133 00:05:03,341 --> 00:05:04,776 With your natural talent for severity? 134 00:05:04,844 --> 00:05:05,911 You know what? 135 00:05:05,979 --> 00:05:08,349 My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, 136 00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:10,119 And I am gonna watch you drown in it. 137 00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:12,023 That a girl! 138 00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,265 Seven. 139 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:18,503 That's right. 140 00:05:18,572 --> 00:05:20,441 Jeff, I can read minds. 141 00:05:20,509 --> 00:05:21,978 No way. 142 00:05:22,046 --> 00:05:24,649 What color am I thinking of? 143 00:05:24,717 --> 00:05:25,649 Pink? 144 00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:28,320 What the hey? 145 00:05:28,388 --> 00:05:29,790 Must be the robe. 146 00:05:29,857 --> 00:05:30,791 Yeah. 147 00:05:30,859 --> 00:05:32,662 Hey... Cookie crisp. 148 00:05:32,729 --> 00:05:33,830 Cookie crisp. 149 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:34,999 Is he talking to me? 150 00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,301 I>- No. No. 151 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,839 Hey, pierce, that guy came back that brought your robes 152 00:05:38,907 --> 00:05:42,045 And said he forgot to deliver... This. 153 00:05:42,113 --> 00:05:43,547 What is it? 154 00:05:43,616 --> 00:05:45,585 He said it focuses your powers? 155 00:05:54,201 --> 00:05:55,569 Is that a cookie? 156 00:05:57,741 --> 00:05:59,342 Maybe it's a piece of meteor. 157 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,379 Buddha arrived on a meteor! 158 00:06:01,447 --> 00:06:03,249 When was the last time he ate? 159 00:06:03,316 --> 00:06:05,821 I am the coolest guy 160 00:06:05,888 --> 00:06:08,258 In the world. 161 00:06:24,323 --> 00:06:26,226 Ugh. Hello, mr. Frog. 162 00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:28,898 Can I just borrow you for a second? 163 00:06:32,238 --> 00:06:35,075 "I'm se?±or chang." 164 00:06:35,143 --> 00:06:37,580 Now tell me that's not funny. 165 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,081 aah! Oh! 166 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,517 Wait! 167 00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:43,457 here froggy, here froggy. 168 00:06:43,525 --> 00:06:46,062 Here froggy. 169 00:06:50,037 --> 00:06:51,305 now real quiet. 170 00:06:52,909 --> 00:06:54,878 Aah! 171 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,685 Oh, no. Oh, no. 172 00:07:02,425 --> 00:07:03,526 Yaaah! 173 00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:05,396 ohh. 174 00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:06,531 aah! 175 00:07:08,401 --> 00:07:09,535 Oh, that's horrible. 176 00:07:09,604 --> 00:07:12,072 Oh, god, that's horrible! 177 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,144 Someone dropped a dead body out that window. 178 00:07:20,652 --> 00:07:21,987 Is this was a brand-new sign, so... 179 00:07:22,055 --> 00:07:23,323 I just don't want this to tarnish 180 00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:24,793 Our school's reputation. 181 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,162 Don't worry, your school's reputation 182 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,331 Is way worse than this. 183 00:07:27,399 --> 00:07:28,735 oh... 184 00:07:28,802 --> 00:07:30,137 Here's our campus security. 185 00:07:30,205 --> 00:07:31,306 Yeah, just stop right there. 186 00:07:31,374 --> 00:07:33,077 Oh, ladies, don't pull up on that— 187 00:07:33,144 --> 00:07:34,346 Ooh. 188 00:07:36,853 --> 00:07:37,787 Oh, annie. 189 00:07:37,855 --> 00:07:39,023 Mornin', boys. 190 00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:41,094 I'm annie edison. 191 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,362 People call me "psycho" 192 00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:43,766 Because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. 193 00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:46,103 My partner's a christian housewife. 194 00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:47,104 Can we help you? 195 00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:49,776 Actually, can we not help you? 196 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,212 I tend to play by my own rules. 197 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,516 She loves rules. I only have one. 198 00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:56,756 Stay out of my way. 199 00:07:58,426 --> 00:08:00,997 Stay out of mine more. 200 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,334 You know what? This is misdemeanor vandalism. 201 00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:05,572 You ladies can take care of it yourselves. 202 00:08:08,077 --> 00:08:09,044 Oh, wait. 203 00:08:09,112 --> 00:08:10,346 Wait, wait, wait— what? 204 00:08:10,414 --> 00:08:11,482 Call us when you find a perp. 205 00:08:11,549 --> 00:08:13,085 yeah, we'll be waiting. 206 00:08:13,153 --> 00:08:14,354 Ohh. 207 00:08:14,422 --> 00:08:15,556 - You go. - I'm about to. 208 00:08:15,624 --> 00:08:17,259 Now look what you have done! 209 00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:18,763 Tell them they got 24 hours to solve the case. 210 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,534 They do! You have 24 hours to solve it, or else. 211 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,039 Figure it out! 212 00:08:25,342 --> 00:08:26,844 That's the poster. 213 00:08:26,912 --> 00:08:29,115 Well, this is the part of my job 214 00:08:29,183 --> 00:08:30,719 That I enjoy the least. 215 00:08:30,786 --> 00:08:33,189 The part where I inform you that, last night, 216 00:08:33,257 --> 00:08:37,063 Someone murdered a partially clothed animal 217 00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:40,534 And threw a human corpse out a window. 218 00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:42,605 And you can thank the person that did it, 219 00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,776 A person that may be in this room, 220 00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:46,747 For the fact that, from now on, 221 00:08:46,814 --> 00:08:49,384 April fool's day is banished, okay? 222 00:08:49,452 --> 00:08:51,790 At greendale, April 1st 223 00:08:51,858 --> 00:08:54,996 Is officially March 32nd, forever! 224 00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:56,900 How do you know it was one of us? 225 00:08:56,968 --> 00:09:00,573 Well, if I may answer a question with a question, 226 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,346 Why are you dressed like a wizard? 227 00:09:07,519 --> 00:09:09,255 Okay, is he having a stroke? 228 00:09:09,323 --> 00:09:11,359 I'll tell you how I know! 229 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,830 Security officers bennett and edison 230 00:09:13,898 --> 00:09:17,471 Found this at the scene, hmm? 231 00:09:17,539 --> 00:09:19,876 This little hat says "chang" on it. 232 00:09:19,944 --> 00:09:21,379 And we ruled out your teacher, 233 00:09:21,446 --> 00:09:23,382 Because he has a crippling fear of frogs. 234 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:26,188 I told you that in confidence! 235 00:09:26,256 --> 00:09:29,729 How about whoever did this just fesses up? 236 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,411 All right, that wasn't just a cadaver 237 00:09:37,479 --> 00:09:38,414 That was thrown out that window. 238 00:09:38,481 --> 00:09:39,684 It was a person. 239 00:09:39,752 --> 00:09:42,189 With family and friends. 240 00:09:42,256 --> 00:09:45,595 And for every day that nobody confesses, 241 00:09:45,662 --> 00:09:48,765 This class will be meeting one of them, hmm? 242 00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,736 Glenda! Oh, I apologize. 243 00:09:50,804 --> 00:09:52,438 Can you come on in here, hmm? 244 00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:53,440 Yes. 245 00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:55,443 And tell us about your son. 246 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,714 Oh, yes. Hello, everyone. 247 00:09:57,782 --> 00:09:58,749 Hello. 248 00:09:58,817 --> 00:10:00,218 Hello, glenda. 249 00:10:00,286 --> 00:10:03,091 Oh. There, heh. 250 00:10:03,159 --> 00:10:05,763 Harry was a wonderful man. 251 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:08,067 He kept a dream journal. 252 00:10:08,134 --> 00:10:10,270 Page one. 253 00:10:10,338 --> 00:10:12,809 "I had that dream again 254 00:10:12,877 --> 00:10:14,646 "where I'm in a forest. 255 00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:18,118 But the trees are pencils." 256 00:10:20,422 --> 00:10:22,258 Hey. 257 00:10:22,326 --> 00:10:23,562 - Impressive. - Ohh. 258 00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:24,931 And hilarious. 259 00:10:24,998 --> 00:10:26,466 You gonna 'fess up, weirdo? 260 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:29,372 Look, it wasn't me. 261 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,444 And even if it was, 262 00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:33,215 This was an accident. 263 00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:34,484 I knew it. Nicely done. 264 00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:36,088 If I come forward, 265 00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:37,324 It's gonna play into the whole 266 00:10:37,391 --> 00:10:39,093 "britta's a buzz kill" mythology. 267 00:10:39,161 --> 00:10:40,797 Well, the toe tag fits, britta. 268 00:10:40,864 --> 00:10:44,805 I mean, you single-handedly killed an entire school's buzz, 269 00:10:44,872 --> 00:10:46,007 Not to mention a frog. 270 00:10:46,074 --> 00:10:47,610 And according to glenda, cadaver harry 271 00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:49,479 Had 13 nieces and nephews 272 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:50,749 That I'm not interested in meeting. 273 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,087 So you better think about coming clean 274 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,191 Or I'm just gonna tell everybody you did it. 275 00:11:01,273 --> 00:11:02,909 - Star-burns doesn't do very much. 276 00:11:02,976 --> 00:11:04,143 I guess fascinating people 277 00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:05,879 Don't resort to growing shapes on their faces. 278 00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:08,117 He makes one false move, and I'm gonna go shirley on him. 279 00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:10,789 That's what my high school friends called crazy. 280 00:11:10,856 --> 00:11:12,726 Yeah? Are you gonna go shirlier than I did 281 00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:13,995 When I got addicted to pills? 282 00:11:14,062 --> 00:11:16,566 Why are you so concerned with being a bad-ass? 283 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,004 Maybe I'm tired of everyone thinking of me as a little girl. 284 00:11:19,071 --> 00:11:20,574 Maybe I wanna be in charge of how I'm defined. 285 00:11:20,641 --> 00:11:22,476 Well, how do you think I feel? 286 00:11:22,544 --> 00:11:24,080 You have two kids, and they stick you in the margins. 287 00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:26,584 I'm not done yet. I still got moves. 288 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:27,920 I haven't even started yet. 289 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:29,923 I've got moves I haven't even seen before. 290 00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,130 Blocked call. 291 00:11:34,198 --> 00:11:35,198 Ooh. 292 00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:36,635 Edison. 293 00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:38,304 the man you're looking for 294 00:11:38,371 --> 00:11:40,374 Is jeff winger. 295 00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:42,144 - Jeff winger. - Who is this? 296 00:11:43,982 --> 00:11:45,517 I didn't recognize the voice. 297 00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:47,154 They say jeff winger's our man. 298 00:11:47,221 --> 00:11:48,289 Oh! 299 00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:50,259 Drop 'em if you smoke 'em. 300 00:11:50,327 --> 00:11:51,829 - Cut to action sequence. - Let's roll. 301 00:11:53,032 --> 00:11:54,868 Security comin' through. 302 00:11:56,171 --> 00:11:58,910 mr. Winger. 303 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,248 Cagney, lacey. What can I do you for? 304 00:12:01,315 --> 00:12:03,352 Just doing a routine search. 305 00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,855 What is this? What do you have here? 306 00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:06,458 - That's my chest. - Why don't you spread 'em? 307 00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,295 - Huh? - Okay. Guys... 308 00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:09,430 - I can pat. - I can pat too. 309 00:12:09,498 --> 00:12:10,532 I can do it too. 310 00:12:10,601 --> 00:12:12,670 So, uh, what do you got in the bag? 311 00:12:12,738 --> 00:12:15,375 - Yeah. - What the— 312 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,614 Let's see what we have here. 313 00:12:17,682 --> 00:12:19,952 Holy mary, mother of pearl. 314 00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:21,722 What do we have here? 315 00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:22,991 Looks like enough tiny items 316 00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:24,828 To equip an amphibious mariachi band. 317 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:26,030 Of frogs. 318 00:12:26,098 --> 00:12:27,633 - That is not my stuff. - Hmm. 319 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,669 Britta. Britta planted that. 320 00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:31,004 Sure she did. 321 00:12:31,072 --> 00:12:33,542 Tell that to what our equivalent of a judge is. 322 00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:34,645 Wha—oh! 323 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,482 What? 324 00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:38,053 Ooh, he's getting away! 325 00:12:38,121 --> 00:12:39,891 Oh, stop! I'm not gonna like you! 326 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,728 - Go, go! - Come on. 327 00:12:45,236 --> 00:12:47,773 Okay, he's right there. You gotta go faster! 328 00:12:47,841 --> 00:12:49,777 what are these doing here? 329 00:12:49,844 --> 00:12:50,812 He's getting away! 330 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,814 Go after him on foot. 331 00:12:51,882 --> 00:12:52,983 I'm going after him on foot. 332 00:12:53,051 --> 00:12:54,185 Cut him off on the other side. 333 00:12:54,253 --> 00:12:55,287 I'm cutting him off on the other side! 334 00:12:55,354 --> 00:12:56,288 Tell me what you doin'. 335 00:12:58,226 --> 00:12:59,963 Stop, or I'll shoot! 336 00:13:00,031 --> 00:13:02,234 I said stop! 337 00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,245 Oh, god, no! 338 00:13:08,313 --> 00:13:11,018 Aah! 339 00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:12,186 Ohh! 340 00:13:12,254 --> 00:13:14,692 oh, it burns! 341 00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:25,008 - Uh-huh. Oh, great. He got away! 342 00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:26,277 Good job. 343 00:13:26,344 --> 00:13:28,982 He got away because of your driving, grandma. 344 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:31,186 Oh, I beg your pardon. Hannah montana! 345 00:13:31,253 --> 00:13:33,289 Oh! I'm sorry. Are you hard of hearing? 346 00:13:33,357 --> 00:13:35,192 You know what? This is why you have hardly any friends. 347 00:13:35,259 --> 00:13:36,628 Looks like I have one less now. 348 00:13:36,696 --> 00:13:38,196 Do I look like I'm crying? 349 00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:40,099 These are not tears! 350 00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:42,670 This is self-inflicted friendly fire, okay? 351 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,439 That's what happens to children! 352 00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:46,779 You have no idea what I've been through today! 353 00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,381 I've gotta pay for this! 354 00:13:48,449 --> 00:13:50,385 Excuse me... I have to go to the bathroom. 355 00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:51,888 I'll give you the rest of these chocolate-covered raisins 356 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,524 If you save my seat. 357 00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:02,377 I don't want you to feel judged by this, 358 00:14:02,445 --> 00:14:04,883 But your handling of this job has disappointed me. 359 00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:06,552 I mean, your high-speed pursuit 360 00:14:06,621 --> 00:14:09,358 Caused $78 dollars worth of damages. 361 00:14:09,426 --> 00:14:12,064 And you didn't even get a statement out of mr. Winger? 362 00:14:12,131 --> 00:14:14,401 - He got away. - He ran between two poles. 363 00:14:14,469 --> 00:14:16,405 Well, I see how that would be frustrating, 364 00:14:16,472 --> 00:14:18,041 - But the fact is... - Your ass is on the line. 365 00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:19,744 My ass is on the line. 366 00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:21,080 You just got off the phone with the mayor. 367 00:14:21,148 --> 00:14:22,549 I just got off the phone with the— 368 00:14:22,618 --> 00:14:23,985 What? The mayor? Stop doing that! 369 00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:25,823 I'm trying to help. You're not doing this right. 370 00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:26,925 Well, maybe you should do it. 371 00:14:29,964 --> 00:14:31,700 I'm sick and tired 372 00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,168 Of making excuses for you two! 373 00:14:33,236 --> 00:14:34,939 You're an embarrassment to the department! 374 00:14:35,006 --> 00:14:36,576 You're off the case and off the force. 375 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,412 Your badges, your windbreakers, now. 376 00:14:38,479 --> 00:14:41,251 Now! I ain't got all day! 377 00:14:41,318 --> 00:14:43,388 Agitated my sciatica. 378 00:14:43,455 --> 00:14:46,293 I'm too old for this! Now get out of my sight. 379 00:14:46,361 --> 00:14:48,030 Thought you were bad-asses, huh? 380 00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:50,268 Real bad-asses work together. 381 00:14:50,336 --> 00:14:51,705 Hmm? 382 00:14:51,772 --> 00:14:53,642 All I see is a housewife and a girl scout. 383 00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:55,277 - Hey! - Abed! 384 00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:57,782 I said get out! 385 00:14:57,849 --> 00:14:59,785 And don't even think about getting near this case. 386 00:14:59,853 --> 00:15:02,122 Uh-uh! 387 00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:03,557 Pretty harsh. 388 00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:05,461 Oh, don't worry. That's what they needed. 389 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,234 Well, that was embarrassing. 390 00:15:09,302 --> 00:15:10,571 I know. 391 00:15:10,639 --> 00:15:12,273 That african-american police chief character 392 00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:13,810 Abed was playing was right. 393 00:15:13,877 --> 00:15:15,512 We should have worked as a team. 394 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,482 I don't know about you. 395 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,020 I don't need a badge to finish this. 396 00:15:19,088 --> 00:15:20,861 I say we nail winger to the wall. 397 00:15:20,929 --> 00:15:21,865 Together? 398 00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:22,967 Together. 399 00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:26,440 How do you spell "testicles"? 400 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:29,044 - Nice frame job, britta-dict arnold. 401 00:15:29,112 --> 00:15:31,014 Ohh! Colonial burn. 402 00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:32,083 Come on, jeff. 403 00:15:32,151 --> 00:15:33,519 Where is that trademark gift for levity? 404 00:15:33,587 --> 00:15:34,989 Well, well, well. 405 00:15:35,057 --> 00:15:36,292 Look who we found. 406 00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:38,228 Yes, how foolish of me to hide 407 00:15:38,296 --> 00:15:40,867 In my regularly scheduled study group. 408 00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:42,971 Jeff, ahem, let's just do this the easy way. 409 00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:44,473 Confess. 410 00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:45,878 Britta's the one who threw that body out the window, 411 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,047 And I can prove it. 412 00:15:47,115 --> 00:15:48,349 How? 413 00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:49,518 Britta was going to put a frog 414 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:51,554 Wearing a sombrero on chang's desk 415 00:15:51,623 --> 00:15:52,991 Because that's the kind of thing 416 00:15:53,059 --> 00:15:54,227 She thinks is funny. 417 00:15:54,294 --> 00:15:55,262 Don't you, britta? 418 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,565 No. 419 00:15:56,633 --> 00:15:59,036 Then why is there a photo on your facebook page 420 00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:01,676 Of a cat wearing a necktie? 421 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,514 Pff! It's my cat. 422 00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:07,122 And the tie makes him... 423 00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,792 Formal. 424 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:12,700 This investigation is going nowhere. 425 00:16:12,768 --> 00:16:14,035 You need a psychic. 426 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,404 Perfect. 427 00:16:15,472 --> 00:16:18,846 Um... This process may alarm you. 428 00:16:21,385 --> 00:16:24,423 Ooh! Gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay. 429 00:16:24,491 --> 00:16:25,558 So gay. 430 00:16:26,662 --> 00:16:28,766 Dark nightclub. 431 00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:33,007 Throbbing music. 432 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,512 Men's roo— men's room stall. 433 00:16:36,548 --> 00:16:38,184 Penis! 434 00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:39,821 Two penises! 435 00:16:39,889 --> 00:16:42,793 Agh, this is gay! It's so gay! 436 00:16:42,861 --> 00:16:43,828 Uggh! 437 00:16:43,897 --> 00:16:45,333 - Pierce! - What? 438 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,703 Sit down! 439 00:16:46,771 --> 00:16:48,139 - we'll take it from here. 440 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:51,145 Jeff, where were you last night? 441 00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:52,881 - At a bar. - Called it! 442 00:16:52,949 --> 00:16:54,551 - Who can confirm that? - Your mama. 443 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,155 - What? - Well, I'm— 444 00:16:56,222 --> 00:16:57,156 - Uhh! - Ohh! 445 00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,827 Uhh! 446 00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:00,331 What the hell, annie? 447 00:17:00,398 --> 00:17:01,734 Her name's not annie. It's psycho. 448 00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:03,571 And if I were you, I'd tell her what she wants to hear. 449 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:06,008 That's right, because if I have to hand you off to shirley, 450 00:17:06,076 --> 00:17:08,681 You're gonna enter a kitchen of pain. 451 00:17:08,748 --> 00:17:09,682 Uhh! 452 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:11,052 Guys, stop it! 453 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,823 Stop it. I did it. 454 00:17:12,891 --> 00:17:14,927 I framed jeff. 455 00:17:14,995 --> 00:17:16,864 I'm sorry, jeff. 456 00:17:16,932 --> 00:17:18,233 But why? 457 00:17:18,301 --> 00:17:20,037 Because I'm a buzz kill, that's why. 458 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,373 Because... 459 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,578 That's who I am. That's my role. 460 00:17:23,646 --> 00:17:26,951 You guys, you create fun, and I destroy it. 461 00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:29,522 Of course a silly little joke ends with a— 462 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,859 A dead body on the lawn. 463 00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:31,861 I should have known that. 464 00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:33,030 But I wanted to do it anyway, 465 00:17:33,098 --> 00:17:34,299 'cause I wanted to be like you. 466 00:17:34,367 --> 00:17:35,769 I wanted to be funny. 467 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,370 Knock knock! 468 00:17:37,438 --> 00:17:38,639 Who's there? 469 00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:39,739 Cancer! 470 00:17:39,807 --> 00:17:42,139 Oh, good! Come on in! 471 00:17:42,207 --> 00:17:43,408 I thought it was britta! 472 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:46,480 well... Britta... 473 00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:49,920 I actually want to be taken more seriously. 474 00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:53,326 The only reason I slammed jeff's head against the table 475 00:17:53,394 --> 00:17:57,100 Was because I wanted to feel like an adult. 476 00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,569 like shirley! 477 00:17:58,637 --> 00:17:59,838 ohh. 478 00:17:59,905 --> 00:18:02,175 And I wanted to feel younger, like annie. 479 00:18:02,243 --> 00:18:03,578 You know, it's not that I'm really old, 480 00:18:03,646 --> 00:18:04,814 'cause people don't know how young I really am. 481 00:18:04,881 --> 00:18:06,083 See, I'm doing it again. 482 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,953 I hate that I obsess about my age. 483 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,489 I know! 484 00:18:09,557 --> 00:18:11,694 I wish I was really magic. 485 00:18:11,761 --> 00:18:13,429 You know you're not? 486 00:18:13,496 --> 00:18:15,165 Yeah. 487 00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:18,338 Somebody must have sent these robes by accident. 488 00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:19,641 I only pretended I was level six 489 00:18:19,709 --> 00:18:21,110 To impress you guys. 490 00:18:21,178 --> 00:18:23,615 I got held back! 491 00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:25,117 Ohh! 492 00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:27,723 I don't even deserve this buddhist meteor wand. 493 00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,192 Ohh. 494 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:31,731 it's not a meteor! 495 00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:33,033 It's a cookie wand! 496 00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:35,972 Me and jeff made it 497 00:18:36,039 --> 00:18:38,744 Because it made you look more like the cookie crisp wizard. 498 00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:40,814 Which is not even a reference I get 499 00:18:40,881 --> 00:18:42,684 Because the cookie crisp mascot 500 00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:44,486 Wasn't a wizard when I was a kid. 501 00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:45,856 It was a burglar. 502 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,730 I just... Pretended like I knew 503 00:18:49,798 --> 00:18:52,001 Because I wanted jeff to think I was smart. 504 00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:54,472 - Ohh! - Ohh! 505 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,610 Great, I did again! 506 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,113 I killed the buzz. 507 00:19:02,355 --> 00:19:04,325 Look, um... 508 00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:07,397 Maybe... Maybe "buzz kill" 509 00:19:07,465 --> 00:19:09,267 Is a bad choice of words. 510 00:19:09,335 --> 00:19:11,304 What's a good choice of words? 511 00:19:11,372 --> 00:19:14,878 Look, I have no— um, uh... 512 00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,047 You're—you're— 513 00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:18,251 You're like the dark cloud that unites us. 514 00:19:18,319 --> 00:19:19,487 Ohh. 515 00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:21,557 - Or the anti - winger. 516 00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:23,829 Uh... Look, you're— you're— 517 00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,632 You're the heart of this group. 518 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,105 Uh, look, I don't, um... 519 00:19:28,173 --> 00:19:30,509 I don't have a real handle on all this mushy stuff. 520 00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:35,219 If I did, then we wouldn't need you. 521 00:19:36,389 --> 00:19:37,991 britta! 522 00:19:38,059 --> 00:19:39,160 Get over here. 523 00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:40,296 Really? 524 00:19:40,364 --> 00:19:41,699 - Yes! - Yeah! Come over here! 525 00:19:45,441 --> 00:19:47,945 Let's never let jeff divide us again. 526 00:19:48,013 --> 00:19:50,283 Hey, abed... 527 00:19:50,351 --> 00:19:51,653 Why are you and I the only sane— 528 00:19:51,721 --> 00:19:54,358 Shh! Just watch. 529 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:55,493 It's beautiful. 530 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,197 Troy, do you want a bite of my wand? 531 00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:58,266 I do. 532 00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:02,560 We really appreciate you doing this. 533 00:20:02,628 --> 00:20:04,229 - Oh, sure. - And 3, 2, 1. 534 00:20:04,297 --> 00:20:06,801 ? T× troy and abed in the mornin' ? T× 535 00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:08,036 And we're back. Look who's here. 536 00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:09,304 Jeff winger. 537 00:20:09,372 --> 00:20:10,674 Jeff, how do you stay so fit? 538 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:13,713 Uh, diet, exercise, genetics. 539 00:20:13,781 --> 00:20:15,683 sure, sure. 540 00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:16,951 Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip. 541 00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:18,655 You want to set it up for us? 542 00:20:18,723 --> 00:20:19,824 Uh, I'd like to, 543 00:20:19,891 --> 00:20:21,026 But I don't know what you're talking about. 544 00:20:21,093 --> 00:20:23,330 Okay, we'll just roll it. 545 00:20:23,397 --> 00:20:24,966 ooh, my name's jeff winger. 546 00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:26,135 hey, I'm jeff winger. 547 00:20:26,203 --> 00:20:27,137 I'm so tall. 548 00:20:27,204 --> 00:20:28,707 Ah, this watch is expensive. 549 00:20:28,774 --> 00:20:30,409 - Muscles are everywhere. - Oh, that was really funny. 550 00:20:30,477 --> 00:20:31,912 You guys, what's going on? Where are the cameras? 551 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,281 Oh, we're not filming this. 552 00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:34,283 No, who'd want to watch this? 553 00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,286 Oh, guys, it's 6:00 a.M. 554 00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:37,555 Jeez! 555 00:20:39,595 --> 00:20:41,631 We're not gonna have him back.