1 00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:04,515 I think I'm failing 2 00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:04,515 Psychopharmacology. 3 00:00:04,515 --> 00:00:06,099 Why are you taking that? 4 00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:09,561 I thought it was a class 5 00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:09,561 about crazy farm animals, okay? 6 00:00:09,561 --> 00:00:12,731 Let's finish the unit. 7 00:00:09,561 --> 00:00:12,731 I don't wanna be late for lunch. 8 00:00:12,731 --> 00:00:14,399 Amar is to love, right? 9 00:00:14,399 --> 00:00:15,985 Oh, speaking of love, 10 00:00:15,985 --> 00:00:18,570 Shirley, how's it going 11 00:00:15,985 --> 00:00:18,570 with the sexy dreadlock guy? 12 00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:20,948 Oh, I'm sure I don't have 13 00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:20,948 a chance with him. 14 00:00:20,948 --> 00:00:23,408 Abed and I talked to him 15 00:00:20,948 --> 00:00:23,408 by the vending machine. 16 00:00:23,408 --> 00:00:26,328 He asked about you. 17 00:00:23,408 --> 00:00:26,328 He specifically asked about me? 18 00:00:26,328 --> 00:00:29,039 When Annie brought you up, 19 00:00:26,328 --> 00:00:29,039 he asked, "Who is that?" 20 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:30,749 Abed. 21 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:30,749 Oh. 22 00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:32,543 What? 23 00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:32,543 That's what he said. 24 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,796 Abed, your social skills 25 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,796 aren't exactly streets ahead. 26 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:37,297 You know what I mean? 27 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:37,297 I don't. 28 00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:39,257 You're not alone in this case. 29 00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:39,257 Pierce. 30 00:00:39,257 --> 00:00:41,719 Stop trying to coin the phrase, 31 00:00:39,257 --> 00:00:41,719 "Streets ahead." 32 00:00:41,719 --> 00:00:42,928 Trying? 33 00:00:42,928 --> 00:00:46,223 Coined and minted. 34 00:00:46,223 --> 00:00:47,975 Been there, coined that. 35 00:00:47,975 --> 00:00:50,602 "Streets ahead" 36 00:00:47,975 --> 00:00:50,602 is verbal wildfire. 37 00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,897 Does it just mean cool, 38 00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,897 or is it supposed to be 39 00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:54,732 like miles ahead? 40 00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:57,150 If you have to ask, 41 00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:57,150 you're streets behind. 42 00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:59,152 Okay. We can banter 43 00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:59,152 if we wanna banter. 44 00:00:59,152 --> 00:01:01,906 But I'm leaving for lunch early. 45 00:00:59,152 --> 00:01:01,906 Me too. 46 00:01:01,906 --> 00:01:04,033 Me three. 47 00:01:01,906 --> 00:01:04,033 Streets ahead. 48 00:01:04,033 --> 00:01:06,785 Man, you guys really love 49 00:01:04,033 --> 00:01:06,785 these stupid chicken fingers. 50 00:01:06,785 --> 00:01:09,120 They're the only good thing 51 00:01:06,785 --> 00:01:09,120 in the cafeteria. 52 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,456 I haven't had one in weeks. 53 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,456 They run out so fast. 54 00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:13,584 If God were edible, 55 00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:13,584 not that I'm Catholic, 56 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:16,378 but if it was cool to eat God, 57 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:16,378 he'd be a chicken finger. 58 00:01:16,378 --> 00:01:17,838 Mm-hm. 59 00:01:17,838 --> 00:01:19,965 Well, I wouldn't know. 60 00:01:17,838 --> 00:01:19,965 I'm a vegetarian. 61 00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:21,466 Oh, shocker. 62 00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:21,466 Yeah. 63 00:01:21,466 --> 00:01:23,218 If you guys knew 64 00:01:21,466 --> 00:01:23,218 how they treated 65 00:01:23,218 --> 00:01:26,221 the animals that you're eating, 66 00:01:23,218 --> 00:01:26,221 you would eat them even faster 67 00:01:26,221 --> 00:01:27,848 to put them 68 00:01:26,221 --> 00:01:27,848 out of their misery. 69 00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:30,350 And then 70 00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:30,350 you would throw up. 71 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,061 I don't know, 72 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,061 maybe I'm feeling 73 00:01:32,061 --> 00:01:33,854 extra protective 74 00:01:32,061 --> 00:01:33,854 of animals today 75 00:01:33,854 --> 00:01:35,522 because my cat is sick. 76 00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:37,190 Oh, a cat? 77 00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:37,190 That's awful. 78 00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:38,525 He has diabetes. 79 00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:40,527 He can't even make it 80 00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:40,527 to the litter box. 81 00:01:40,527 --> 00:01:42,487 Chicken run. 82 00:01:40,527 --> 00:01:42,487 Whoo! 83 00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:48,243 I'm afraid that I'm gonna 84 00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:48,243 have to put her to sleep and... 85 00:01:48,243 --> 00:01:49,912 Mm-hm. 86 00:01:49,912 --> 00:01:51,872 Aw, go on. 87 00:01:49,912 --> 00:01:51,872 God bless you. 88 00:01:51,872 --> 00:01:54,041 Save some for me! 89 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:55,960 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST 90 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:55,960 IT WAS HERE" PLAYING] 91 00:02:02,215 --> 00:02:03,842 Troy. 92 00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:05,928 I can hear those 93 00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:05,928 fingers calling my name. 94 00:02:05,928 --> 00:02:07,471 Troy. 95 00:02:05,928 --> 00:02:07,471 Troy, Troy. 96 00:02:07,471 --> 00:02:09,264 Did you get my text message? 97 00:02:09,264 --> 00:02:10,599 Did you get my text message? 98 00:02:10,599 --> 00:02:12,142 Um, I think it's... 99 00:02:12,142 --> 00:02:14,979 Hi. 100 00:02:14,979 --> 00:02:16,688 I gotta stop hanging 101 00:02:14,979 --> 00:02:16,688 out with her. 102 00:02:16,688 --> 00:02:19,399 She sounds like 103 00:02:16,688 --> 00:02:19,399 a chicken finger. 104 00:02:19,399 --> 00:02:20,818 Again? 105 00:02:20,818 --> 00:02:22,486 Outrageous. 106 00:02:22,486 --> 00:02:24,029 At least apologize. 107 00:02:24,029 --> 00:02:27,449 How can you just stand there 108 00:02:24,029 --> 00:02:27,449 like a mute idiot? 109 00:02:30,911 --> 00:02:33,580 Well, throat surgery might 110 00:02:30,911 --> 00:02:33,580 humanize you. 111 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,457 It doesn't make 112 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,457 this acceptable. 113 00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:37,250 So cute. 114 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,670 And I don't even normally 115 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,670 like dreadlocks. 116 00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:41,463 Hello. 117 00:02:43,007 --> 00:02:45,300 His dreadlocks remind me 118 00:02:43,007 --> 00:02:45,300 of the Predator. 119 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,677 Which is weird 120 00:02:46,677 --> 00:02:48,887 because you're doing 121 00:02:46,677 --> 00:02:48,887 the actual hunting, 122 00:02:48,887 --> 00:02:50,806 and you seem invisible to him. 123 00:02:51,974 --> 00:02:53,600 Abed, you know what I do? 124 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,102 Before I talk, I ask myself, 125 00:02:55,102 --> 00:02:56,603 "What am I about to say? 126 00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:59,272 And how might it affect 127 00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:59,272 each person listening?" 128 00:02:59,272 --> 00:03:00,774 I'm really glad you said that. 129 00:03:00,774 --> 00:03:03,192 The idea that you compulsively 130 00:03:00,774 --> 00:03:03,192 filter yourself 131 00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:05,779 makes your lack of flavor 132 00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:05,779 kind of a flavor. 133 00:03:05,779 --> 00:03:09,449 Sorry, guys, 134 00:03:05,779 --> 00:03:09,449 they ran out again. 135 00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:11,952 Something's gotta be done. 136 00:03:11,952 --> 00:03:14,203 Oh, I love chicken fingers. 137 00:03:14,203 --> 00:03:16,790 Hey. 138 00:03:14,203 --> 00:03:16,790 Oh, you're the man. 139 00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:19,459 What the hell, man? 140 00:03:19,459 --> 00:03:21,712 That's half our problem 141 00:03:19,459 --> 00:03:21,712 right there. 142 00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:24,131 Star-Burns works the fryer 143 00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:24,131 and skims fingers. 144 00:03:24,131 --> 00:03:25,966 No way. 145 00:03:24,131 --> 00:03:25,966 He gives them to people 146 00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:28,468 just so they'll act like he 147 00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:28,468 isn't Star-Burns. 148 00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:30,179 Well, I may not eat meat, 149 00:03:30,179 --> 00:03:31,972 but I am not gonna eat 150 00:03:30,179 --> 00:03:31,972 that injustice. 151 00:03:31,972 --> 00:03:33,682 Let's complain. 152 00:03:31,972 --> 00:03:33,682 Yeah. 153 00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:36,351 We complain, he gets a warning, 154 00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:36,351 learns to be sneakier. 155 00:03:36,351 --> 00:03:38,145 I say we knock him out 156 00:03:36,351 --> 00:03:38,145 of the kitchen, 157 00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:40,438 replace him with one 158 00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:40,438 of our own all in one move. 159 00:03:40,438 --> 00:03:42,649 Then we're the ones 160 00:03:40,438 --> 00:03:42,649 with the chicken. 161 00:03:42,649 --> 00:03:43,901 It's like a mafia movie. 162 00:03:43,901 --> 00:03:45,569 As far back as I can remember, 163 00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:47,445 I always wanted to be 164 00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:47,445 in a mafia movie. 165 00:03:47,445 --> 00:03:49,573 Cool. 166 00:03:47,445 --> 00:03:49,573 That's exactly what it's like. 167 00:03:49,573 --> 00:03:51,408 And you get the most 168 00:03:49,573 --> 00:03:51,408 important job. 169 00:03:51,408 --> 00:03:52,826 You're gonna be fry cook. 170 00:03:52,826 --> 00:03:54,203 Watching 171 00:03:52,826 --> 00:03:54,203 different movies. 172 00:03:54,203 --> 00:03:56,121 You worked in your dad's 173 00:03:54,203 --> 00:03:56,121 restaurant. 174 00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:58,582 Apply for the job 175 00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:58,582 after we get Star-Burns fired. 176 00:03:58,582 --> 00:04:01,001 I don't know. 177 00:03:58,582 --> 00:04:01,001 I don't know about the firing. 178 00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:02,961 I think he really relies 179 00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:02,961 on that income. 180 00:04:02,961 --> 00:04:04,504 Yeah, man. 181 00:04:04,504 --> 00:04:06,798 Every day you flock 182 00:04:04,504 --> 00:04:06,798 like sheep and wait in line 183 00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,800 for a broken promise 184 00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,800 from a dirty system. 185 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,343 Back in those days, 186 00:04:10,343 --> 00:04:12,387 Jeff was the guy 187 00:04:10,343 --> 00:04:12,387 that made things happen. 188 00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:15,140 He always knew what to say, 189 00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:15,140 and when to slap the table. 190 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,975 You wanna be sheep, 191 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,975 keep flocking. 192 00:04:16,975 --> 00:04:19,228 You wanna be wolves, 193 00:04:16,975 --> 00:04:19,228 form a pack. 194 00:04:19,228 --> 00:04:21,688 And that was it. 195 00:04:19,228 --> 00:04:21,688 It was that simple. 196 00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:24,066 At that moment, 197 00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:24,066 we stopped being a family 198 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:27,736 and started being a family 199 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:27,736 in italics. 200 00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,529 Britta got cozy 201 00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,529 with Star-Burns. 202 00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:31,198 Can I touch both of...? Oh. 203 00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:31,198 Yeah. 204 00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:33,408 He lowered his guard. 205 00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:35,744 He was gone. 206 00:04:37,246 --> 00:04:39,706 I mean, the way Jeff saw it, 207 00:04:37,246 --> 00:04:39,706 by not respecting us, 208 00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:42,126 Star-Burns had basically 209 00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:42,126 brought it on himself. 210 00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:44,586 And when his job opened up, 211 00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:44,586 we did what we had to do 212 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:47,338 to keep the list of applicants 213 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:47,338 to a minimum. 214 00:04:47,338 --> 00:04:49,258 I had worked 215 00:04:47,338 --> 00:04:49,258 in my dad's restaurant, 216 00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:50,842 so I had an impressive 217 00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:50,842 résumé. 218 00:04:50,842 --> 00:04:53,845 It's very impressive. 219 00:04:50,842 --> 00:04:53,845 Especially your reference. 220 00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:55,222 Just give them a call 221 00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:55,222 right now. 222 00:04:55,222 --> 00:04:57,474 But we weren't taking 223 00:04:55,222 --> 00:04:57,474 any chances. 224 00:04:57,474 --> 00:04:59,392 The fix was in. 225 00:04:59,392 --> 00:05:01,937 Trump Tower, this is Donald. 226 00:05:01,937 --> 00:05:04,106 Well, he can deep-fry 227 00:05:01,937 --> 00:05:04,106 the hell out of chicken. 228 00:05:04,106 --> 00:05:05,857 Troy even applied 229 00:05:04,106 --> 00:05:05,857 for the same job 230 00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:08,068 and gave the world's 231 00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:08,068 worst interview. 232 00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:11,529 Just to make me look better, 233 00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:11,529 and that was that. 234 00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:13,157 This was the glorious time. 235 00:05:13,157 --> 00:05:15,575 No more racing to 236 00:05:13,157 --> 00:05:15,575 the cafeteria. No more lines. 237 00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:19,246 To us, lines were for suckers, 238 00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:19,246 hacks, sheep. 239 00:05:19,246 --> 00:05:21,290 We were wolves. 240 00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:23,917 And we had the chicken 241 00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:23,917 to prove it. 242 00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:28,005 To victory. 243 00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:31,258 It feels unfamiliar, 244 00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:31,258 but it tastes like chicken. 245 00:05:34,178 --> 00:05:36,763 Hi. 246 00:05:34,178 --> 00:05:36,763 Hello. 247 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:39,348 You guys are lucky. 248 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:39,348 They're always running out. 249 00:05:39,348 --> 00:05:40,725 Would you like one? 250 00:05:40,725 --> 00:05:42,978 The name's Shirley, memorize it. 251 00:05:42,978 --> 00:05:46,106 I will, Shirley. 252 00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:49,734 See that, ladies? The universe 253 00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:49,734 goes by supply and demand. 254 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:52,237 The more you take and use, 255 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:52,237 the more it sends. 256 00:05:52,237 --> 00:05:53,780 Somebody's been 257 00:05:52,237 --> 00:05:53,780 taking extra. 258 00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:55,991 What's in that container? 259 00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:55,991 Eight fingers. 260 00:05:55,991 --> 00:05:59,119 Abed. 261 00:05:55,991 --> 00:05:59,119 Abed's study group. 262 00:05:59,119 --> 00:06:01,788 Why you giving Chang chicken? 263 00:05:59,119 --> 00:06:01,788 We have an agreement. 264 00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,957 If you get caught skimming, 265 00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,957 you get fired. 266 00:06:03,957 --> 00:06:06,335 We all go back to eating 267 00:06:03,957 --> 00:06:06,335 like Britta. 268 00:06:06,335 --> 00:06:08,295 Yeah, we put you in that job. 269 00:06:08,295 --> 00:06:10,547 I dressed like a crazy pharaoh 270 00:06:08,295 --> 00:06:10,547 for you, man. 271 00:06:10,547 --> 00:06:13,008 You make the fingers, Abed, 272 00:06:10,547 --> 00:06:13,008 not the decisions. 273 00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:14,926 I'm sorry. 274 00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:14,926 It's okay, buddy. 275 00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:17,262 But just remember, 276 00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:17,262 these things have power. 277 00:06:17,262 --> 00:06:19,264 So just let me know 278 00:06:17,262 --> 00:06:19,264 next time you have 279 00:06:19,264 --> 00:06:21,016 any more agreements, 280 00:06:19,264 --> 00:06:21,016 all right? 281 00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:23,310 I agreed to give Chang 282 00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:23,310 eight fingers per lunch 283 00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,437 in exchange for a 10 percent 284 00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,437 bump on every test for us. 285 00:06:26,437 --> 00:06:28,397 Oh. 286 00:06:26,437 --> 00:06:28,397 Okay, 287 00:06:28,397 --> 00:06:30,441 Abed makes the fingers 288 00:06:28,397 --> 00:06:30,441 and the decisions. 289 00:06:30,441 --> 00:06:33,862 Yeah, I'm gonna pass 290 00:06:30,441 --> 00:06:33,862 Spanish class. 291 00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:42,453 At Greendale, they were always 292 00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:42,453 out of chicken fingers. 293 00:06:42,453 --> 00:06:44,455 So whoever could get them 294 00:06:42,453 --> 00:06:44,455 had power. 295 00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:47,209 I the guy was in the apron, 296 00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:47,209 so I came up with a system. 297 00:06:47,209 --> 00:06:49,502 Pretty soon half the chicken 298 00:06:47,209 --> 00:06:49,502 at Greendale 299 00:06:49,502 --> 00:06:51,922 was going out the side door. 300 00:06:51,922 --> 00:06:53,798 Everybody in our crew 301 00:06:51,922 --> 00:06:53,798 had a job. 302 00:06:53,798 --> 00:06:55,133 T-Bone was the bag man. 303 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:57,010 He'd move the fingers 304 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:57,010 to a storeroom 305 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,762 where two girls 306 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,762 did the packaging. 307 00:06:58,762 --> 00:07:00,931 We could trust them 308 00:06:58,762 --> 00:07:00,931 not to eat the supply 309 00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:02,891 because Britta 310 00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:02,891 was a vegetarian. 311 00:07:02,891 --> 00:07:05,810 And Shirley figured that if 312 00:07:02,891 --> 00:07:05,810 she stole, she'd go to hell. 313 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:08,146 They'd hand the stuff 314 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:08,146 out the window to Annie. 315 00:07:08,146 --> 00:07:10,399 She was the leg man, 316 00:07:08,146 --> 00:07:10,399 the distributor. 317 00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:14,027 The crazy thing was, 318 00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:14,027 it was their food. 319 00:07:14,027 --> 00:07:16,529 And we were stealing it 320 00:07:14,027 --> 00:07:16,529 and giving it back to them 321 00:07:16,529 --> 00:07:17,948 like it was a big favor. 322 00:07:17,948 --> 00:07:19,699 Nobody asked any questions, 323 00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:21,618 because Pierce's experience 324 00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:21,618 as a CEO 325 00:07:21,618 --> 00:07:24,371 had taught him how to keep 326 00:07:21,618 --> 00:07:24,371 the wheels from squeaking. 327 00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,164 I had it all worked out 328 00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,164 on a schedule. 329 00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:27,874 You know, 330 00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:27,874 I've never been fired. 331 00:07:27,874 --> 00:07:29,918 The minute 332 00:07:27,874 --> 00:07:29,918 you thought about busting us 333 00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:32,170 was the minute 334 00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:32,170 you had chicken in your hand. 335 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:34,298 It's just insulting 336 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:34,298 that you're eating 337 00:07:34,298 --> 00:07:36,425 his chicken fingers 338 00:07:34,298 --> 00:07:36,425 in front of me. 339 00:07:36,425 --> 00:07:39,510 Everyone had their hand out. 340 00:07:36,425 --> 00:07:39,510 Everyone wanted what we had. 341 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:41,138 Oh. Well, here you go. 342 00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:45,100 And Jeff had the most 343 00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:45,100 important job of all. 344 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,477 He was at the top. 345 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,477 He was the boss. 346 00:07:47,477 --> 00:07:49,354 He was our leader. 347 00:07:49,354 --> 00:07:51,064 What the hell is going on? 348 00:07:51,064 --> 00:07:52,482 AV kids hooked it up. 349 00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:54,359 Abed supplied 350 00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:54,359 the whole department 351 00:07:54,359 --> 00:07:55,777 with chicken fingers. 352 00:07:55,777 --> 00:07:57,904 You think that's good, 353 00:07:55,777 --> 00:07:57,904 check out my posse 354 00:07:57,904 --> 00:07:59,406 and Troy's monkey. 355 00:07:59,406 --> 00:08:00,949 Troy, why do you have a monkey? 356 00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:03,034 It's an animal 357 00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:03,034 that looks like a dude. 358 00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:04,411 Why don't I have 359 00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:04,411 10 of them? 360 00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:09,207 Guys, look at 361 00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:09,207 what Abed scored for me. 362 00:08:09,207 --> 00:08:13,295 It has a million zippers, 363 00:08:09,207 --> 00:08:13,295 and it was free. 364 00:08:15,964 --> 00:08:17,632 Oh, robot. 365 00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:18,883 I am a robot. 366 00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:21,136 I am programmed 367 00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:21,136 to love this backpack. 368 00:08:21,136 --> 00:08:22,720 This is insane. 369 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,141 More insane than programming 370 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,141 them to replace auto workers? 371 00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:27,851 What? 372 00:08:27,851 --> 00:08:31,438 Okay, okay, if you're not 373 00:08:27,851 --> 00:08:31,438 in this study group, please... 374 00:08:31,438 --> 00:08:34,191 No, no. 375 00:08:31,438 --> 00:08:34,191 That means you, sexy dreadlocks. 376 00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:35,859 Britta's hairdresser. 377 00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:35,859 What? 378 00:08:35,859 --> 00:08:37,735 Pierce's hackneyed entourage. 379 00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:39,363 Hackneyed? 380 00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:40,989 You see the turban guy? 381 00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:40,989 Yes... 382 00:08:40,989 --> 00:08:43,741 in a '90s ski movie 383 00:08:40,989 --> 00:08:43,741 that featured an entourage. 384 00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:45,952 Don't you think 385 00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:45,952 this is getting out of hand? 386 00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:48,746 We won't get caught. We have 387 00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:48,746 campus security on the take. 388 00:08:48,746 --> 00:08:50,915 Abed's got it all figured out. 389 00:08:50,915 --> 00:08:53,335 Well, that's a relief. 390 00:08:50,915 --> 00:08:53,335 Yeah, it's pretty cool 391 00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:55,586 being friends with 392 00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:55,586 the biggest man on campus. 393 00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:57,755 Isn't that right, 394 00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:57,755 Annie's Boobs? 395 00:08:57,755 --> 00:08:59,424 Please rename that thing. 396 00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:01,426 This time, 397 00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:01,426 not with a contest on Twitter. 398 00:09:01,426 --> 00:09:04,054 It's his Twitter account. 399 00:09:01,426 --> 00:09:04,054 He can do what he wants. 400 00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,680 They are my body parts. 401 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,433 Know what I don't appreciate? 402 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,433 I do not consent to this. 403 00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,185 You'll be begging 404 00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,185 for his company. 405 00:09:10,185 --> 00:09:11,602 I own that. 406 00:09:11,602 --> 00:09:13,146 I wouldn't threaten a monkey. 407 00:09:13,146 --> 00:09:15,648 They have more lactic acid 408 00:09:13,146 --> 00:09:15,648 than us. 409 00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:18,443 Shared my chicken with him. 410 00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:18,443 Talk to the backpack. 411 00:09:18,443 --> 00:09:22,280 You're the worst, Annie. 412 00:09:18,443 --> 00:09:22,280 Streets ahead. 413 00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:28,453 Now, where's he going? 414 00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:28,453 Uh, hello? 415 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,916 Line starts behind you. 416 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,916 Oh, he's cool. 417 00:09:32,916 --> 00:09:34,792 Six fingers every Wednesday. 418 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,669 Cool. And what can you offer? 419 00:09:36,669 --> 00:09:39,881 I have a bicycle. 420 00:09:36,669 --> 00:09:39,881 And I teach beginner's tennis. 421 00:09:39,881 --> 00:09:41,341 Cool, okay. 422 00:09:41,341 --> 00:09:45,554 Six fingers Wednesdays, 423 00:09:41,341 --> 00:09:45,554 all right. 424 00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:46,971 We'll be in touch, Janel. 425 00:09:46,971 --> 00:09:49,891 Thank you, Abed. 426 00:09:46,971 --> 00:09:49,891 You're welcome. 427 00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:51,851 Hey, Jeff. 428 00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:51,851 Hey, buddy. 429 00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:53,770 It's quite a setup 430 00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:53,770 you got here. 431 00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:56,064 Yeah, 432 00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:56,064 I'm pretty excited about it. 433 00:09:56,064 --> 00:09:59,526 It turns out everyone has needs 434 00:09:56,064 --> 00:09:59,526 and everyone has functions. 435 00:09:59,526 --> 00:10:01,528 Look, I've been thinking. 436 00:10:01,528 --> 00:10:03,488 Maybe I need to hit 437 00:10:01,528 --> 00:10:03,488 the big red button 438 00:10:03,488 --> 00:10:05,782 and bring an end 439 00:10:03,488 --> 00:10:05,782 to this operation. 440 00:10:05,782 --> 00:10:09,160 I mean, it's been fun, 441 00:10:05,782 --> 00:10:09,160 but it's out of control now. 442 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,703 Am I right? 443 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,703 I don't know. 444 00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:13,039 The entire campus 445 00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:13,039 is controlled by our group. 446 00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:14,832 Our group is controlled 447 00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:14,832 by chicken, 448 00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,751 and the chicken is controlled 449 00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,751 by me. 450 00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:19,003 Float? 451 00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:19,003 I'm good. 452 00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:21,631 Abed, 453 00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:21,631 the mafia movie is over. 454 00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:22,966 I'm not doing a mafia movie. 455 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:24,968 I don't need to use 456 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:24,968 movies or TV shows 457 00:10:24,968 --> 00:10:26,261 to talk to people anymore. 458 00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:28,388 I needed them 459 00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:28,388 because the day-to-day world 460 00:10:28,388 --> 00:10:30,807 made no sense to me, 461 00:10:28,388 --> 00:10:30,807 but now everyone's speaking 462 00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:32,392 the same language: 463 00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:32,392 chicken. 464 00:10:32,392 --> 00:10:34,894 I understand people 465 00:10:32,392 --> 00:10:34,894 and they understand me. 466 00:10:34,894 --> 00:10:38,565 People are gonna get tired of 467 00:10:34,894 --> 00:10:38,565 chicken. I'm tired of chicken. 468 00:10:38,565 --> 00:10:42,819 You're not tired of chicken. 469 00:10:38,565 --> 00:10:42,819 You miss the taste of control. 470 00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:44,404 Well, that's crazy. 471 00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:47,282 Is it? 472 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,536 The very thing that drove you 473 00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:53,497 to this room 474 00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:53,497 is what would prevent you 475 00:10:53,497 --> 00:10:55,373 from properly running 476 00:10:53,497 --> 00:10:55,373 this machine. 477 00:10:55,373 --> 00:10:57,959 Or even being a cog in it, 478 00:10:55,373 --> 00:10:57,959 your ego. 479 00:11:00,504 --> 00:11:02,130 I see. I see. 480 00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:04,466 This has been about me 481 00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:04,466 the whole time. 482 00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:08,970 You want a shot 483 00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:08,970 at the Jeff Winger throne? 484 00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:11,848 You better bring 485 00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:11,848 a powerful ass. 486 00:11:11,848 --> 00:11:14,392 Oh, and for your information, 487 00:11:11,848 --> 00:11:14,392 I don't have an ego. 488 00:11:14,392 --> 00:11:17,437 My Facebook photo 489 00:11:14,392 --> 00:11:17,437 is a landscape. 490 00:11:22,442 --> 00:11:25,278 You're the best, Eduardo. 491 00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,738 Thank you all for coming. 492 00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,738 Can we make this quick? 493 00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,074 I need to give a banana 494 00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,074 to Annie's Boobs. 495 00:11:30,074 --> 00:11:31,784 Abed is drunk 496 00:11:30,074 --> 00:11:31,784 with chicken power. 497 00:11:31,784 --> 00:11:34,787 He's gone from lovable 498 00:11:31,784 --> 00:11:34,787 Johnny Five to evil HAL. 499 00:11:34,787 --> 00:11:36,540 Hal Holb... 500 00:11:34,787 --> 00:11:36,540 Not Hal Holbrook. 501 00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,124 What are you saying? 502 00:11:38,124 --> 00:11:39,917 You all have to stop working 503 00:11:38,124 --> 00:11:39,917 for him. 504 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:43,630 Let this operation dry up 505 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:43,630 and let his wheels spin down. 506 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:46,591 At which point you would be 507 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:46,591 in charge again, right? 508 00:11:46,591 --> 00:11:48,343 What? 509 00:11:46,591 --> 00:11:48,343 This is so sad. 510 00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:51,929 You're jealous of Abed 511 00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:51,929 because he's providing for us. 512 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:55,016 I'm concerned about Abed because 513 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:55,016 he won't listen to reason. 514 00:11:55,016 --> 00:11:57,602 Won't listen to your reason. 515 00:11:57,602 --> 00:11:59,396 Why should he? 516 00:11:57,602 --> 00:11:59,396 Jeff's so not... 517 00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:02,357 Say, "Streets ahead," 518 00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:02,357 and die. 519 00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:03,983 Streets ahead. 520 00:12:03,983 --> 00:12:05,734 You wanna boss me around? 521 00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:08,196 Get me an entourage. 522 00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:08,196 Get Troy a monkey. 523 00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:09,614 That's what a real boss does. 524 00:12:09,614 --> 00:12:11,700 We probably shouldn't 525 00:12:09,614 --> 00:12:11,700 be talking to him 526 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,910 without checking with Abed. 527 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,910 I'm trying him. 528 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:16,079 He's not picking up. 529 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:16,079 What did you do with him? 530 00:12:16,079 --> 00:12:18,039 I don't believe 531 00:12:16,079 --> 00:12:18,039 what greedy sellouts 532 00:12:18,039 --> 00:12:19,290 you people turned out to be. 533 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,251 I'm not gonna stand 534 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,251 and be ignored. 535 00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:22,960 Shh. Voicemail. Hey, Abed! 536 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,171 Jeff says you're not 537 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,171 listening to him. 538 00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:27,674 Does that mean we shouldn't 539 00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:27,674 listen to him either? 540 00:12:27,674 --> 00:12:31,135 Oh, also, should we make special 541 00:12:27,674 --> 00:12:31,135 jackets for our crime family? 542 00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:33,304 Like blazers with 543 00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:33,304 chicken finger patches. 544 00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,432 I don't know, 545 00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,432 long message, I'm sorry. 546 00:12:35,432 --> 00:12:36,600 That's it. 547 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,142 Oh! 548 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,142 Abed! 549 00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,479 I'm walking out 550 00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,479 this door right now. 551 00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:43,064 Okay. 552 00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:43,064 Okay, bye. 553 00:12:43,064 --> 00:12:44,566 For real. 554 00:12:43,064 --> 00:12:44,566 Good. 555 00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:46,610 I'm not gonna look back. 556 00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:46,610 Mm-hm. 557 00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:48,612 Goodbye. 558 00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:48,612 Goodbye. 559 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:51,281 Abed. 560 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:51,281 Hi, hi, yeah. 561 00:13:19,726 --> 00:13:22,604 Yeah, I got you fired. 562 00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:23,854 You deserved it. 563 00:13:23,854 --> 00:13:26,941 Maybe, maybe not. 564 00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:31,070 The question is, 565 00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:31,070 what do they deserve? 566 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,035 Key to the kitchen. 567 00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:40,622 There's a valve on the back 568 00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:40,622 of the chicken fryer 569 00:13:40,622 --> 00:13:42,582 that's not made anymore. 570 00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:45,960 Now, say someone 571 00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:45,960 were to remove it. 572 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,962 The fryer wouldn't work. 573 00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:52,801 Forever. 574 00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:52,801 How petty do you think I am? 575 00:13:58,222 --> 00:13:59,683 Jeff leaving the family 576 00:13:59,683 --> 00:14:01,309 didn't turn out 577 00:13:59,683 --> 00:14:01,309 to be a problem. 578 00:14:01,309 --> 00:14:03,561 Okay, I think we're 579 00:14:01,309 --> 00:14:03,561 set for the quiz. 580 00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,355 Yep. 581 00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,355 See you guys in class. 582 00:14:05,355 --> 00:14:06,648 Oh, wait, before you go. 583 00:14:06,648 --> 00:14:09,275 Oh, free notebooks. 584 00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:12,362 But the family's success 585 00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:12,362 started to go to their heads. 586 00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:14,905 They didn't have college ruled? 587 00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:14,905 No, sorry. 588 00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:17,116 It's okay. 589 00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:23,331 Abed? 590 00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:23,331 Yeah? 591 00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:25,625 Can I talk to you for a minute? 592 00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:25,625 Sure. 593 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,335 We have a situation. 594 00:14:27,335 --> 00:14:29,086 Hey. 595 00:14:27,335 --> 00:14:29,086 Who is this? 596 00:14:29,086 --> 00:14:32,423 Travis. You wanted someone 597 00:14:29,086 --> 00:14:32,423 in your entourage named Travis. 598 00:14:32,423 --> 00:14:34,592 Show him your license. 599 00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:37,261 Travis is his middle name. 600 00:14:37,261 --> 00:14:40,014 I go by Travis. 601 00:14:37,261 --> 00:14:40,014 No, you go by the door. 602 00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:43,309 See you, Travis. 603 00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:47,564 Abed? 604 00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:47,564 Yep? 605 00:14:47,564 --> 00:14:49,607 No, no, no. 606 00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:52,109 My monkey hates 607 00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:52,109 this caviar. 608 00:14:55,446 --> 00:14:57,240 Troy, isn't that...? 609 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,951 They were spoiled, fat, lazy. 610 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,951 I'd given them everything 611 00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:03,371 and somehow 612 00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:03,371 I'd lost their respect. 613 00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:05,373 So I did the only thing 614 00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:05,373 I could think of. 615 00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:07,792 I did what I thought 616 00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:07,792 Jeff would do. 617 00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:09,627 I sent them a message. 618 00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:13,047 [DEREK & THE DOMINOES' 619 00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:13,047 "LAYLA PLAYING] 620 00:15:21,305 --> 00:15:23,433 Somebody's backpack. 621 00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:07,184 These were the bad times. 622 00:16:10,897 --> 00:16:12,148 There he is. 623 00:16:12,148 --> 00:16:14,609 Jeff, Jeff. 624 00:16:12,148 --> 00:16:14,609 Jeff. 625 00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:16,152 Jeff, Abed killed my backpack. 626 00:16:16,152 --> 00:16:18,279 I caught him stuffing 627 00:16:16,152 --> 00:16:18,279 my man full of chicken. 628 00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:20,824 Tyler Perry has movies 629 00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:20,824 about why that's wrong. 630 00:16:20,824 --> 00:16:22,742 That little Arab 631 00:16:20,824 --> 00:16:22,742 is off his rocker. 632 00:16:22,742 --> 00:16:24,118 He released Annie's Boobs. 633 00:16:24,118 --> 00:16:25,787 Annie's Boobs could be anywhere. 634 00:16:25,787 --> 00:16:27,163 Could be... 635 00:16:25,787 --> 00:16:27,163 We got it. 636 00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:29,165 The monkey's name 637 00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:29,165 is Annie's Boobs. 638 00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:31,375 Look what Abed did to my hair. 639 00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,878 I feel terrible for all of you. 640 00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:36,840 Wait, no, I don't, because 641 00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:36,840 I warned you about all this. 642 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,550 You were so high on your 643 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,550 backpacks and hairstyles, 644 00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,552 you accused me of being jealous. 645 00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:43,304 You were right. 646 00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:43,304 But what can we do? 647 00:16:43,304 --> 00:16:46,349 I'm sorry, you brushed over 648 00:16:43,304 --> 00:16:46,349 that first part. 649 00:16:46,349 --> 00:16:47,976 Together. 650 00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:50,895 You were right. 651 00:16:50,895 --> 00:16:52,313 Now, what you can do 652 00:16:50,895 --> 00:16:52,313 is go home 653 00:16:52,313 --> 00:16:54,231 and write that 654 00:16:52,313 --> 00:16:54,231 on your bathroom mirror. 655 00:16:54,231 --> 00:16:56,192 Wouldn't that make it 656 00:16:54,231 --> 00:16:56,192 like I was right? 657 00:16:56,192 --> 00:16:58,152 Yeah. 658 00:16:56,192 --> 00:16:58,152 I don't have a mirror. 659 00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,112 It's not reversed 660 00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,112 because you're the... 661 00:17:00,112 --> 00:17:02,114 You'd have the mirror 662 00:17:00,112 --> 00:17:02,114 behind you. 663 00:17:02,114 --> 00:17:03,658 And I would like... 664 00:17:05,535 --> 00:17:07,077 As for Abed, 665 00:17:07,077 --> 00:17:10,915 for his sake, I guess 666 00:17:07,077 --> 00:17:10,915 I'll have to take him out. 667 00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:14,251 Poor little guy. 668 00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:14,251 Oh, good, that's nice. 669 00:17:32,687 --> 00:17:35,606 Abed. 670 00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:38,526 What are you doing? 671 00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:38,526 Making Tater Tots. 672 00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,695 You were right, 673 00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,695 people got sick of chicken, 674 00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:43,072 but I was close. I just need 675 00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:43,072 a new food, new system. 676 00:17:43,072 --> 00:17:45,575 I'm gonna experiment 677 00:17:43,072 --> 00:17:45,575 with jalapeño poppers, 678 00:17:45,575 --> 00:17:47,577 then Zucchini Zircles. 679 00:17:45,575 --> 00:17:47,577 I don't get it. 680 00:17:47,577 --> 00:17:49,203 It's not that complicated, Jeff. 681 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,455 Replaced the C in circle 682 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,455 with a Z for zucchini. 683 00:17:51,455 --> 00:17:52,957 No, I mean, 684 00:17:51,455 --> 00:17:52,957 why are you here? 685 00:17:52,957 --> 00:17:54,959 You said you were close? 686 00:17:57,253 --> 00:17:59,547 What were you close to? 687 00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:05,261 To the group? 688 00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:05,261 To people? 689 00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:07,179 Don't do a special episode 690 00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:07,179 about me. 691 00:18:07,179 --> 00:18:08,723 Oh. I wouldn't dream of it. 692 00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:13,185 Everyone else needs my help. 693 00:18:13,185 --> 00:18:17,231 That's what people don't get, 694 00:18:13,185 --> 00:18:17,231 is that they need to get me. 695 00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:20,359 I need to be able to connect 696 00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:20,359 to people like you can, 697 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,112 and then I can make 698 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,112 everyone happy. 699 00:18:27,199 --> 00:18:28,576 Do you know why I'm here? 700 00:18:28,576 --> 00:18:30,536 You got caught 701 00:18:28,576 --> 00:18:30,536 with a fake degree. 702 00:18:30,536 --> 00:18:33,163 They started using that 703 00:18:30,536 --> 00:18:33,163 on Law & Order. 704 00:18:33,163 --> 00:18:34,874 Total rip-off. 705 00:18:34,874 --> 00:18:37,919 I'm here to dismantle 706 00:18:34,874 --> 00:18:37,919 the fryer. 707 00:18:37,919 --> 00:18:40,922 To cut your power off 708 00:18:37,919 --> 00:18:40,922 at its source. 709 00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,591 Don't you see 710 00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,591 what happened? 711 00:18:43,591 --> 00:18:46,636 I manipulated the group into 712 00:18:43,591 --> 00:18:46,636 getting you the fry cook job 713 00:18:46,636 --> 00:18:48,805 so I could have some chicken. 714 00:18:48,805 --> 00:18:53,142 And you turned it all into a way 715 00:18:48,805 --> 00:18:53,142 to make everyone like you. 716 00:18:53,142 --> 00:18:56,980 Made me ashamed of myself, 717 00:18:53,142 --> 00:18:56,980 made me jealous. 718 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,773 Maybe this is 719 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,773 a special episode. 720 00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:01,067 It's pretty alarming behavior. 721 00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:01,067 Yeah. 722 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,235 There's specialists 723 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,235 you could talk to. 724 00:19:03,235 --> 00:19:05,571 Maybe I should do that. 725 00:19:05,571 --> 00:19:08,198 In the meantime, 726 00:19:05,571 --> 00:19:08,198 let's make a deal. 727 00:19:08,198 --> 00:19:10,618 I'll help you connect 728 00:19:08,198 --> 00:19:10,618 with people, 729 00:19:10,618 --> 00:19:12,578 and you help me do a better job 730 00:19:10,618 --> 00:19:12,578 with them. 731 00:19:12,578 --> 00:19:14,246 Like Knight Rider. 732 00:19:12,578 --> 00:19:14,246 Exactly. 733 00:19:14,246 --> 00:19:16,540 Like Knight Rider. 734 00:19:14,246 --> 00:19:16,540 Deal. 735 00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:18,250 I'll put on a leather jacket, 736 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:21,087 make out with an aerobics 737 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:21,087 instructor. Pull around front, 738 00:19:21,087 --> 00:19:23,547 startle passers-by with 739 00:19:21,087 --> 00:19:23,547 your ability to talk. 740 00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:24,924 Maybe we should just stay here 741 00:19:24,924 --> 00:19:26,801 and have a plate 742 00:19:24,924 --> 00:19:26,801 of chicken fingers. 743 00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:28,177 Cool. 744 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:30,054 Can we eat them 745 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:30,054 while sitting on a table 746 00:19:30,054 --> 00:19:32,849 like in Sixteen Candles? 747 00:19:30,054 --> 00:19:32,849 Pick one reference, Abed. 748 00:19:32,849 --> 00:19:34,809 Sixteen Candles. 749 00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:37,603 And just like that, 750 00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:37,603 the mafia movie was over. 751 00:19:37,603 --> 00:19:38,938 I quit the fry cook job, 752 00:19:38,938 --> 00:19:40,731 somewhat for the sake 753 00:19:38,938 --> 00:19:40,731 of the family, 754 00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:44,902 but mostly for the sake 755 00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:44,902 of Jeff's ego, poor guy. 756 00:19:44,902 --> 00:19:46,696 Things went back to normal. 757 00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:49,573 Everyone's back to being 758 00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:49,573 a bunch of regular schnooks. 759 00:19:49,573 --> 00:19:51,408 And I'm back to being a weirdo. 760 00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:55,121 Back to watching 761 00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:55,121 from the outside for now. 762 00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:57,999 There's still not enough 763 00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:57,999 chicken fingers. 764 00:19:57,999 --> 00:20:00,168 No way, no seriously. 765 00:19:57,999 --> 00:20:00,168 What? 766 00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:01,794 As soon as our family 767 00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:01,794 moved out, 768 00:20:01,794 --> 00:20:04,213 a new syndicate moved in 769 00:20:01,794 --> 00:20:04,213 to take its place. 770 00:20:04,213 --> 00:20:07,216 But you know what they'll never 771 00:20:04,213 --> 00:20:07,216 make a replacement for? 772 00:20:08,885 --> 00:20:11,303 Friends. 773 00:20:11,303 --> 00:20:13,931 Okay, thank you. 774 00:20:11,303 --> 00:20:13,931 That's great, Abed. 775 00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:16,392 But could you 776 00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:16,392 just answer the question? 777 00:20:16,392 --> 00:20:17,810 What was it? 778 00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:19,520 Do you know 779 00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:19,520 who might have stolen 780 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,605 a box of hairnets 781 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,605 from the kitchen? 782 00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:25,193 Someone with hair. 783 00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:25,193 I'm gonna write that down. 784 00:20:29,155 --> 00:20:30,823 Ready? 785 00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:34,702 Oh, that's nice. 786 00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:34,702 Never been done. 787 00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:35,912 Here I come. 788 00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:37,914 Back up the same staircase. 789 00:20:37,914 --> 00:20:41,209 It's good. 790 00:20:37,914 --> 00:20:41,209 Double escalator. 791 00:20:41,209 --> 00:20:45,295 Wow. I haven't seen that before. 792 00:20:41,209 --> 00:20:45,295 How did you think of that? 793 00:20:45,295 --> 00:20:48,674 And now for our signature trick. 794 00:20:45,295 --> 00:20:48,674 Awesome elevator. 795 00:20:48,674 --> 00:20:50,176 No. 796 00:20:48,674 --> 00:20:50,176 I can't do it. 797 00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:51,886 I got babies. 798 00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:51,886 I gotta get home. 799 00:20:51,886 --> 00:20:53,721 It's their loss. 800 00:20:51,886 --> 00:20:53,721 Yeah. 801 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:07,777 That was awesome. 802 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:07,777 Yeah.