1 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:06,375 Anyone know how long 2 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:06,375 it takes papier-mâché to dry? 3 00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:09,171 Longer than it took Duncan 4 00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:09,171 to think up this assignment. 5 00:00:09,171 --> 00:00:11,923 I think he's gonna 6 00:00:09,171 --> 00:00:11,923 appreciate the work we did 7 00:00:11,923 --> 00:00:13,717 expanding 8 00:00:11,923 --> 00:00:13,717 our evolutionary chart. 9 00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:16,469 Oh, Britta, can you hold up 10 00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:16,469 the final stage of humanity? 11 00:00:16,469 --> 00:00:19,056 I still think man 12 00:00:16,469 --> 00:00:19,056 is gonna evolve into woman. 13 00:00:19,056 --> 00:00:21,432 Not a dragon monster 14 00:00:19,056 --> 00:00:21,432 with three legs. 15 00:00:21,432 --> 00:00:23,352 Three legs? 16 00:00:23,352 --> 00:00:25,187 Well, it's been real. 17 00:00:25,187 --> 00:00:26,730 At least the paste smell has. 18 00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,232 But I have a date to catch. 19 00:00:28,232 --> 00:00:30,400 Or should I say 20 00:00:28,232 --> 00:00:30,400 a catch to date. 21 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,319 Oof. I hope you just 22 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,319 came up with that. 23 00:00:32,319 --> 00:00:34,363 Look out, 24 00:00:32,319 --> 00:00:34,363 drive-by deaning. 25 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:35,864 I'm kidding. 26 00:00:35,864 --> 00:00:37,949 Just a non-violent, 27 00:00:35,864 --> 00:00:37,949 verbal reminder. 28 00:00:37,949 --> 00:00:41,119 The local shelter is having 29 00:00:37,949 --> 00:00:41,119 a Puppy Parade this afternoon. 30 00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:43,747 ANNIE & BRITTA: Aw. 31 00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:43,747 Oh, I wanna lick it. 32 00:00:43,747 --> 00:00:46,415 I expect all of you 33 00:00:43,747 --> 00:00:46,415 to lend a paw. 34 00:00:46,415 --> 00:00:48,043 Heh, heh. 35 00:00:46,415 --> 00:00:48,043 Except you, Jeffrey. 36 00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:50,295 I know you've got 37 00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:50,295 a catch to date. 38 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,797 Oh, like you're famous 39 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,797 for your wit. 40 00:00:52,797 --> 00:00:54,383 Puppy Parade? 41 00:00:52,797 --> 00:00:54,383 I am in. 42 00:00:54,383 --> 00:00:57,135 I wanna see if those 43 00:00:54,383 --> 00:00:57,135 wiener dogs are born that way, 44 00:00:57,135 --> 00:00:59,846 or if they start off normal 45 00:00:57,135 --> 00:00:59,846 and then get wiener. 46 00:00:59,846 --> 00:01:01,431 Abed, did you pick up my pen? 47 00:01:01,431 --> 00:01:03,058 It's purple 48 00:01:01,431 --> 00:01:03,058 with a gel grip. 49 00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,352 Nope. I'm strictly 50 00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,352 mechanical pencils. 51 00:01:05,352 --> 00:01:07,938 More relatable? 52 00:01:05,352 --> 00:01:07,938 It was just here. 53 00:01:07,938 --> 00:01:10,732 You okay, Annie? 54 00:01:07,938 --> 00:01:10,732 Chocolate? 55 00:01:10,732 --> 00:01:12,817 Can I push you 56 00:01:10,732 --> 00:01:12,817 to the parade, Pierce? 57 00:01:12,817 --> 00:01:15,737 No, thanks. I don't want people 58 00:01:12,817 --> 00:01:15,737 to see me as a handicap. 59 00:01:15,737 --> 00:01:19,241 If anything, this chair 60 00:01:15,737 --> 00:01:19,241 makes me more than a human. 61 00:01:22,869 --> 00:01:24,996 You move it by blowing 62 00:01:22,869 --> 00:01:24,996 into this tube. 63 00:01:24,996 --> 00:01:26,373 It's the most expensive one. 64 00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:28,833 I outbid three hospitals 65 00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:28,833 for this baby, 66 00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:31,420 and it was worth every penny. 67 00:01:35,715 --> 00:01:38,427 Oh. Oh. 68 00:01:41,096 --> 00:01:43,014 Wait. 69 00:01:41,096 --> 00:01:43,014 Please, just wait. 70 00:01:43,014 --> 00:01:46,017 I'm sorry, but I need to know 71 00:01:43,014 --> 00:01:46,017 who took my pen. 72 00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:48,103 Uh... 73 00:01:48,103 --> 00:01:50,230 Sorry, 74 00:01:48,103 --> 00:01:50,230 I don't see it. 75 00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:52,690 Yeah, 76 00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:52,690 sorry, Annie. 77 00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:56,611 No. Not "Sorry, Annie." 78 00:01:56,611 --> 00:01:59,948 We passed "Sorry, Annie" 79 00:01:56,611 --> 00:01:59,948 eight pens ago. 80 00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:02,993 I keep bringing pens 81 00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:02,993 and you guys keep taking them, 82 00:02:02,993 --> 00:02:05,787 and I'm afraid 83 00:02:02,993 --> 00:02:05,787 I'm putting my foot down. 84 00:02:05,787 --> 00:02:07,289 Okay. 85 00:02:07,289 --> 00:02:09,791 Now Annie has made it clear 86 00:02:07,289 --> 00:02:09,791 that this is an issue, 87 00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:11,376 so from now on, 88 00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:11,376 we need to be more 89 00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:14,129 respectful 90 00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:14,129 of her things, okay? 91 00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:15,464 Okay. 92 00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:15,464 Cool. 93 00:02:23,263 --> 00:02:25,056 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" 94 00:02:23,263 --> 00:02:25,056 PLAYING] 95 00:02:33,606 --> 00:02:35,942 All right, 96 00:02:33,606 --> 00:02:35,942 it's not on the floor, 97 00:02:35,942 --> 00:02:37,486 so whoever accidentally took... 98 00:02:37,486 --> 00:02:39,029 Not accidentally. 99 00:02:39,029 --> 00:02:40,822 Accidents don't just happen 100 00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:42,907 over and over 101 00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:42,907 and over again, okay? 102 00:02:42,907 --> 00:02:44,451 This isn't budget day-care. 103 00:02:44,451 --> 00:02:46,661 Okay, whoever insidiously 104 00:02:46,661 --> 00:02:48,497 and with great malice 105 00:02:46,661 --> 00:02:48,497 aforethought 106 00:02:48,497 --> 00:02:49,914 abducted Annie's pen, 107 00:02:49,914 --> 00:02:52,334 confess, repent and relinquish 108 00:02:49,914 --> 00:02:52,334 so we can leave. 109 00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:53,751 Maybe nobody took it. 110 00:02:53,751 --> 00:02:56,338 Sometimes I think I lost 111 00:02:53,751 --> 00:02:56,338 something important, 112 00:02:56,338 --> 00:02:58,256 and it turns out, 113 00:02:56,338 --> 00:02:58,256 I already ate it. 114 00:02:58,256 --> 00:03:00,425 I didn't eat my pen, Troy. 115 00:03:00,425 --> 00:03:02,719 I know I brought it, 116 00:03:00,425 --> 00:03:02,719 and now it's gone. 117 00:03:02,719 --> 00:03:05,055 Ah. I took a photo. 118 00:03:05,972 --> 00:03:07,640 Aha. 119 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,227 Zoom in. See? 120 00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,937 See? I took this 121 00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,937 10 minutes ago. 122 00:03:12,937 --> 00:03:14,398 My pen was on the table. 123 00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:16,024 No one has come in 124 00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:16,024 or out since. 125 00:03:16,024 --> 00:03:19,986 One of you 126 00:03:16,024 --> 00:03:19,986 has my pen right now. 127 00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:23,698 Annie, it's a pen. 128 00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,992 It's not a pen. 129 00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,992 It's a principle. 130 00:03:29,413 --> 00:03:31,248 Not a good time to get gum. 131 00:03:29,413 --> 00:03:31,248 Okay. 132 00:03:31,248 --> 00:03:32,957 Are we going 133 00:03:31,248 --> 00:03:32,957 to the Puppy Parade? 134 00:03:32,957 --> 00:03:34,459 Feels like a bottle episode. 135 00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:36,044 Again with the TV crap. 136 00:03:36,044 --> 00:03:38,588 Hey, meatball, 137 00:03:36,044 --> 00:03:38,588 did you take Annie's pen 138 00:03:38,588 --> 00:03:41,425 to make life more like 139 00:03:38,588 --> 00:03:41,425 Benny Hill or whatever you do? 140 00:03:41,425 --> 00:03:43,718 Abed? 141 00:03:41,425 --> 00:03:43,718 I wouldn't do that. 142 00:03:43,718 --> 00:03:45,053 I hate bottle episodes. 143 00:03:45,053 --> 00:03:47,055 They're emotional nuance. 144 00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:49,224 I might as well sit with 145 00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:49,224 a bucket on my head. 146 00:03:49,224 --> 00:03:51,268 I have a photography project 147 00:03:49,224 --> 00:03:51,268 to finish. 148 00:03:51,268 --> 00:03:52,643 My grandmother's hands 149 00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:54,938 aren't gonna take 150 00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:54,938 close-ups of themselves. 151 00:03:54,938 --> 00:03:57,232 Hasta la later. 152 00:03:54,938 --> 00:03:57,232 Hmph. 153 00:03:57,232 --> 00:03:59,025 Was that "hmph" 154 00:03:57,232 --> 00:03:59,025 directed at me? 155 00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:01,819 If the "hmph" fits. 156 00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:01,819 I don't have your pen, Annie. 157 00:04:01,819 --> 00:04:04,864 I'm always lending you supplies. 158 00:04:01,819 --> 00:04:04,864 You never come prepared. 159 00:04:04,864 --> 00:04:06,533 If it's so important, 160 00:04:04,864 --> 00:04:06,533 have my pen. 161 00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,785 That's my pen. 162 00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,785 Whatever, people. 163 00:04:08,785 --> 00:04:10,120 They're just things. 164 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,539 I don't suppose 165 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,539 you'd mind letting us 166 00:04:12,539 --> 00:04:14,207 take a quick look-see 167 00:04:12,539 --> 00:04:14,207 in your bag? 168 00:04:14,207 --> 00:04:16,000 I'd very much mind, Annie. 169 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,212 There's no such thing as a quick 170 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,212 invasion of civil liberties. 171 00:04:19,212 --> 00:04:21,923 Oh, man. 172 00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:24,717 It starts with a quick look 173 00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:24,717 into someone's bag. 174 00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:27,178 Then it's a brisk peek 175 00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:27,178 at our phone records. 176 00:04:27,178 --> 00:04:29,306 And before you can say 1984, 177 00:04:29,306 --> 00:04:31,516 the Thought Police 178 00:04:29,306 --> 00:04:31,516 are forcy-worcing you 179 00:04:31,516 --> 00:04:32,850 to bend and spread. 180 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:35,312 Are the Thought Police 181 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:35,312 gonna make love to us? 182 00:04:35,312 --> 00:04:36,980 They find thoughts 183 00:04:35,312 --> 00:04:36,980 in our butts? 184 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,440 I should've read that book. 185 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,318 Stop using the Constitution 186 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,318 as a baby blanket. 187 00:04:41,318 --> 00:04:43,528 She invoked 188 00:04:41,318 --> 00:04:43,528 the Freedom of Information Act 189 00:04:43,528 --> 00:04:45,363 to request photocopies 190 00:04:43,528 --> 00:04:45,363 of my notes. 191 00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:46,656 Heh. That's pretty good. 192 00:04:46,656 --> 00:04:48,366 Well, excuse me 193 00:04:46,656 --> 00:04:48,366 for living free. 194 00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,285 We all know 195 00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,285 the pen's in your bag. 196 00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:53,455 Yeah, come on. 197 00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:53,455 Yeah, come on, just drop it. 198 00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,585 Happy? 199 00:04:58,585 --> 00:05:00,795 Not if that's a used Q-tip. 200 00:04:58,585 --> 00:05:00,795 Ew! 201 00:05:00,795 --> 00:05:02,713 Gross. 202 00:05:00,795 --> 00:05:02,713 Yes, gross. 203 00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:05,383 Welcome to the gross business 204 00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:05,383 of martial law. 205 00:05:05,383 --> 00:05:08,219 Welcome to what used 206 00:05:05,383 --> 00:05:08,219 to be individuality 207 00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:11,389 seized and disintegrated 208 00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:11,389 by cowardly groupthink. 209 00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:14,518 Welcome, my friends, 210 00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:14,518 welcome to the machine. 211 00:05:14,518 --> 00:05:16,186 It looks like you were wrong. 212 00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:18,938 Britta does come prepared 213 00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:18,938 for one thing. 214 00:05:18,938 --> 00:05:20,982 Or six. Big weekend? 215 00:05:20,982 --> 00:05:23,568 Can't complain. 216 00:05:20,982 --> 00:05:23,568 Razzle pzazzle. 217 00:05:23,568 --> 00:05:25,570 Attention, students. 218 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,323 The Puppy Parade 219 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,323 is starting on the quad. 220 00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:31,326 Come quick. Every moment, 221 00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:31,326 these puppies grow older 222 00:05:31,326 --> 00:05:33,328 and less deserving 223 00:05:31,326 --> 00:05:33,328 of our attention. 224 00:05:33,328 --> 00:05:36,206 Whoa, whoa. Where do you think 225 00:05:33,328 --> 00:05:36,206 you're going? 226 00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:39,250 Have you ever gone to a Puppy 227 00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:39,250 Parade halfway through, Britta? 228 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,961 It is pointless. 229 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,961 Then you clearly stole the pen. 230 00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:43,963 The Patriot Act cuts 231 00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:43,963 both ways. 232 00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,383 Actually, it's one-sided. 233 00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,383 That's the point. 234 00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:48,009 Here's my point. 235 00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:50,719 Whoever the thief is just 236 00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:50,719 watched me get Guantanamoed. 237 00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:53,306 I'd like to know who it is 238 00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:53,306 so I can let them know 239 00:05:53,306 --> 00:05:54,974 they have lost my trust. 240 00:05:54,974 --> 00:05:56,685 It's a bottle episode. 241 00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:59,437 We're sorry we looked 242 00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:59,437 at your prophylactic equipment. 243 00:05:59,437 --> 00:06:01,481 Your mistakes 244 00:05:59,437 --> 00:06:01,481 are none of our business. 245 00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:02,857 Oh, thanks, Shirley. 246 00:06:02,857 --> 00:06:05,235 Let's rustle through 247 00:06:02,857 --> 00:06:05,235 your tampons and wallet 248 00:06:05,235 --> 00:06:06,653 so we can apologize to you. 249 00:06:06,653 --> 00:06:09,030 I'm sure everybody here 250 00:06:06,653 --> 00:06:09,030 knows I don't steal. 251 00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:12,033 Have you checked? If you took it 252 00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:12,033 by mistake, I forgive you. 253 00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:13,577 If I took it, it's larceny. 254 00:06:13,577 --> 00:06:15,953 If you find it under mother hen, 255 00:06:13,577 --> 00:06:15,953 it's a mistake. 256 00:06:15,953 --> 00:06:17,664 Mother hen? 257 00:06:15,953 --> 00:06:17,664 We're the same age. 258 00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:20,542 Sure, unless time is linear. 259 00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:20,542 I'll make your ass linear. 260 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:23,253 That doesn't make sense. 261 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:23,253 I'll make your ass sense. 262 00:06:23,253 --> 00:06:24,962 Don't get your panties 263 00:06:23,253 --> 00:06:24,962 puckered. 264 00:06:24,962 --> 00:06:26,797 We're all really thinking, 265 00:06:26,797 --> 00:06:29,008 if the culprit 266 00:06:26,797 --> 00:06:29,008 is among us, 267 00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:31,802 statistically speaking, 268 00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:31,802 it's Troy. 269 00:06:31,802 --> 00:06:35,973 Yes, we were all 270 00:06:31,802 --> 00:06:35,973 just thinking that, in 1856. 271 00:06:35,973 --> 00:06:38,351 1856? 272 00:06:38,351 --> 00:06:39,561 What if a ghost took the pen? 273 00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:41,396 Please forgive him. 274 00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:41,396 For what? 275 00:06:41,396 --> 00:06:44,065 For stealing the pen, dummy. 276 00:06:41,396 --> 00:06:44,065 Why would I take her pen? 277 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,692 I don't even like 278 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,692 having my own. 279 00:06:45,692 --> 00:06:47,611 It's probably 280 00:06:45,692 --> 00:06:47,611 under Pierce's cast. 281 00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:49,654 He uses everything 282 00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:49,654 to itch his legs. 283 00:06:49,654 --> 00:06:51,197 We're on our third DVD remote. 284 00:06:51,197 --> 00:06:52,781 If I took the pen, 285 00:06:51,197 --> 00:06:52,781 I'd say so. 286 00:06:52,781 --> 00:06:53,991 You probably forgot. 287 00:06:53,991 --> 00:06:56,035 Been popping painkillers 288 00:06:53,991 --> 00:06:56,035 like Tic Tacs. 289 00:06:56,035 --> 00:06:58,288 Oh, yeah, right. 290 00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:03,376 "Side effects, verbal dysphasia 291 00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:03,376 and octopus loss." 292 00:07:03,376 --> 00:07:06,254 I don't see anything 293 00:07:03,376 --> 00:07:06,254 on this squirrel about memory. 294 00:07:06,254 --> 00:07:08,298 Now I wanna know 295 00:07:06,254 --> 00:07:08,298 who has it. 296 00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,592 Nice try. That doesn't take you 297 00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,592 off the list. 298 00:07:10,592 --> 00:07:12,051 Jeff, you're in charge. 299 00:07:12,051 --> 00:07:13,386 I demand you deal with this. 300 00:07:13,386 --> 00:07:16,139 There's nothing to deal with. 301 00:07:13,386 --> 00:07:16,139 I'll say. 302 00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:19,183 Okay, all right, all right, 303 00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:19,183 everyone breathe. 304 00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:24,021 You know what this is? 305 00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:24,021 Yep. 306 00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,232 Shut up. 307 00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,232 This is a normal day 308 00:07:26,232 --> 00:07:28,318 with friends 309 00:07:26,232 --> 00:07:28,318 who are done studying 310 00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:30,945 and a pen that rolled away. 311 00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:30,945 Rolled away? 312 00:07:30,945 --> 00:07:32,405 Or fell down someone's shoe. 313 00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:35,575 Let's check shoes. 314 00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:35,575 Annie. 315 00:07:35,575 --> 00:07:38,161 Fine, fine. 316 00:07:38,161 --> 00:07:42,165 Someone in this room 317 00:07:38,161 --> 00:07:42,165 is hiding your pen. 318 00:07:42,165 --> 00:07:44,668 Wanna know why? 319 00:07:42,165 --> 00:07:44,668 They feel terrible. 320 00:07:44,668 --> 00:07:46,002 They made a mistake. 321 00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:47,962 They waited too long 322 00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:47,962 to come forward 323 00:07:47,962 --> 00:07:49,130 and now they feel bad. 324 00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:50,799 They should. 325 00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:50,799 Mm-hm. 326 00:07:50,799 --> 00:07:54,678 Okay, okay. So, pen thief, 327 00:07:50,799 --> 00:07:54,678 we understand what happened, 328 00:07:54,678 --> 00:07:57,221 and we forgive you. 329 00:07:54,678 --> 00:07:57,221 If you confess and apologize. 330 00:07:57,221 --> 00:07:59,349 But here's the trick. 331 00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:00,642 Because this person 332 00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:03,478 now has no reason 333 00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:03,478 not to come forward, 334 00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:05,772 if by some chance, 335 00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:05,772 I get to the count of three 336 00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:08,858 and nobody comes forward, guess 337 00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:08,858 what. 338 00:08:08,858 --> 00:08:12,903 We have to accept that no one 339 00:08:08,858 --> 00:08:12,903 has the pen, don't we? 340 00:08:12,903 --> 00:08:14,739 Don't we? 341 00:08:16,658 --> 00:08:19,243 Good. So here we go. 342 00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:21,412 One. 343 00:08:22,706 --> 00:08:24,457 Two. 344 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,628 Pierce, you have something 345 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,628 to tell us? 346 00:08:28,628 --> 00:08:31,214 Yes. Is it me, 347 00:08:28,628 --> 00:08:31,214 or has it become really obvious 348 00:08:31,214 --> 00:08:32,382 that Jeff took the pen? 349 00:08:32,382 --> 00:08:34,300 Yes. 350 00:08:32,382 --> 00:08:34,300 Definitely could be. 351 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,302 You wanna make a bet, you jerks? 352 00:08:36,302 --> 00:08:38,596 Lockdown. 353 00:08:36,302 --> 00:08:38,596 Abed, seal the doors. 354 00:08:38,596 --> 00:08:41,766 Nobody leaves 355 00:08:38,596 --> 00:08:41,766 until this pen shows up. 356 00:08:41,766 --> 00:08:43,267 I don't like this. 357 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,269 Yeah, tell it to the pen 358 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,269 you might have. 359 00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:46,855 Gwynnifer? Hi. 360 00:08:46,855 --> 00:08:49,023 Yeah, it's me. 361 00:08:46,855 --> 00:08:49,023 I can't make it. 362 00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:51,192 Well, tell your disappointment 363 00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:51,192 to suck it. 364 00:08:51,192 --> 00:08:52,985 I'm doing a bottle episode. 365 00:09:12,255 --> 00:09:14,090 Okay. 366 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,217 You just became my hero. 367 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,217 Thank you. 368 00:09:16,217 --> 00:09:18,636 No pen. 369 00:09:16,217 --> 00:09:18,636 I can see that. 370 00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:20,680 Why do you keep 371 00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:20,680 taking that tone with me? 372 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,224 Oh, I'll field that. 373 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,224 If nobody else has this pen, 374 00:09:23,224 --> 00:09:24,975 it means you realized 375 00:09:23,224 --> 00:09:24,975 you had it 376 00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:27,478 and were too embarrassed to say, 377 00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:27,478 and we kill you. 378 00:09:27,478 --> 00:09:30,899 I'm not hiding my own pen, 379 00:09:27,478 --> 00:09:30,899 you paranoid weirdo. 380 00:09:30,899 --> 00:09:33,276 Everybody stay within 381 00:09:30,899 --> 00:09:33,276 each other's eyelines. 382 00:09:33,276 --> 00:09:34,778 Me next, right? 383 00:09:34,778 --> 00:09:36,613 Hold on. 384 00:09:34,778 --> 00:09:36,613 Can we please consider 385 00:09:36,613 --> 00:09:38,489 the threshold 386 00:09:36,613 --> 00:09:38,489 that we are crossing? 387 00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:40,825 We don't trust Abed? 388 00:09:40,825 --> 00:09:43,369 He shredded my backpack. 389 00:09:40,825 --> 00:09:43,369 He freed my pet monkey. 390 00:09:43,369 --> 00:09:45,705 Because we corrupted him. 391 00:09:43,369 --> 00:09:45,705 He's our innocent. 392 00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:48,124 He put gum in your hair. 393 00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:48,124 Empty the bag, Abed. 394 00:09:48,124 --> 00:09:50,376 Pierce, you don't have a bag? 395 00:09:48,124 --> 00:09:50,376 Giraffe. 396 00:09:50,376 --> 00:09:52,211 Uh, Jeff, you don't have a bag? 397 00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:53,880 I'd never deprive the world 398 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,132 of the part of my chest 399 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,132 the strap would cover. 400 00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:58,802 Makes sense. What's left, 401 00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:58,802 hugging and crying, 402 00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:00,052 then we're done? 403 00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:02,388 Wait, Abed, 404 00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:02,388 why is my name in here? 405 00:10:02,388 --> 00:10:06,058 That's mine. 406 00:10:02,388 --> 00:10:06,058 And Shirley's and Annie's? 407 00:10:06,058 --> 00:10:07,727 What is it? 408 00:10:06,058 --> 00:10:07,727 Charts, 409 00:10:07,727 --> 00:10:09,019 some kind of calendar? 410 00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:11,731 That's my personal 411 00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:11,731 private business. 412 00:10:11,731 --> 00:10:15,067 "Annie, 4 on, 28 off, 413 00:10:11,731 --> 00:10:15,067 next November 10th. 414 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,862 Britta, 5 on, 27 off..." 415 00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:21,699 Oh, my God. Are you charting 416 00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:21,699 our menstrual cycles? 417 00:10:21,699 --> 00:10:23,576 What? Gross. 418 00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:26,746 Abed, this is so personal. 419 00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:26,746 And so accurate. 420 00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:29,540 Creepy. I don't understand 421 00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:29,540 why you would do this. 422 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,459 I can explain. 423 00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:34,128 I thought you'd keep 424 00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:34,128 yelling over me. I can explain. 425 00:10:34,128 --> 00:10:37,006 I have trouble reading people, 426 00:10:34,128 --> 00:10:37,006 I say the wrong things. 427 00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:39,717 I noticed it was happening 428 00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:39,717 more often with you three. 429 00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:42,762 I noticed fluctuating patterns 430 00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:42,762 and started graphing them. 431 00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,889 By the time I realized 432 00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,889 what I was measuring, 433 00:10:44,889 --> 00:10:48,225 it had started to yield positive 434 00:10:44,889 --> 00:10:48,225 results, so I kept doing it. 435 00:10:48,225 --> 00:10:50,227 Were you ever 436 00:10:48,225 --> 00:10:50,227 gonna tell us about this? 437 00:10:50,227 --> 00:10:52,355 I feel so violated. 438 00:10:53,731 --> 00:10:54,899 Thanks. 439 00:10:54,899 --> 00:10:57,443 More chocolate? 440 00:10:57,443 --> 00:10:59,278 Aah! Get away from me. 441 00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:01,531 Abed just became my hero. 442 00:11:01,531 --> 00:11:03,407 Can I have a little...? 443 00:11:01,531 --> 00:11:03,407 No! 444 00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:06,703 Sheesh. Guess it's true what 445 00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:06,703 they say about the sync-up. 446 00:11:06,703 --> 00:11:09,121 If I could share 447 00:11:06,703 --> 00:11:09,121 a few words of sarcasm 448 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,623 with whoever took this pen. 449 00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:12,959 I wanna say thank you 450 00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:12,959 for doing this to me. 451 00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:15,545 Thought I'd have to suffer 452 00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:15,545 through a Puppy Parade. 453 00:11:15,545 --> 00:11:18,088 I prefer being entombed 454 00:11:15,545 --> 00:11:18,088 in a mausoleum of feelings 455 00:11:18,088 --> 00:11:20,383 I can neither understand 456 00:11:18,088 --> 00:11:20,383 nor reciprocate. 457 00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:22,426 Whoever you are, 458 00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:22,426 can I get you anything? 459 00:11:22,426 --> 00:11:25,346 Ice cream? Best friend medal? 460 00:11:22,426 --> 00:11:25,346 Anything? Mm-mm? 461 00:11:25,346 --> 00:11:27,932 Okay, sarcasm over. 462 00:11:25,346 --> 00:11:27,932 You're last up, Shirley. 463 00:11:27,932 --> 00:11:30,184 Dump your comedically huge bag 464 00:11:27,932 --> 00:11:30,184 and end this. 465 00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:31,853 Uh... 466 00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:31,853 No, thank you. 467 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:37,483 Well, well, well, 468 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:37,483 Harvey Keitel. 469 00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:40,611 Well, what do you know, 470 00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:40,611 Henry David Thoreau. 471 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:45,033 My, oh, my, Mike Tyson. 472 00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:47,410 Empty the bag. 473 00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:47,410 No, I don't have Annie's pen. 474 00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:49,913 I'm a Christian woman 475 00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:49,913 that doesn't open her bag. 476 00:11:49,913 --> 00:11:53,249 What did the Christian woman 477 00:11:49,913 --> 00:11:53,249 think would happen? 478 00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:54,792 You'd find it on the Muslim. 479 00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:57,461 Real nice. 480 00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:57,461 Nicer than you, condom carrier. 481 00:11:57,461 --> 00:11:59,338 Dump the bag or you're guilty. 482 00:11:57,461 --> 00:11:59,338 No. 483 00:11:59,338 --> 00:12:00,631 Aah! Aah! 484 00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:03,300 Oh, Lord, he's thrown a clot. 485 00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:03,300 Pierce. 486 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,011 Call 911. Pierce... Aah! 487 00:12:05,011 --> 00:12:06,470 No. No. 488 00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,222 Pierce, you didn't need 489 00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,222 to do that. 490 00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:10,433 Yes, I did. 491 00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:10,433 All you guys do is talk, 492 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:12,685 leaving me to do the things 493 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:12,685 you won't do. 494 00:12:12,685 --> 00:12:14,186 People like you are 495 00:12:12,685 --> 00:12:14,186 the reason 496 00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:17,648 we took so long 497 00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:17,648 to get into Vietnam. 498 00:12:17,648 --> 00:12:20,192 Is this what you were trying 499 00:12:17,648 --> 00:12:20,192 to hide, Shirley? 500 00:12:20,192 --> 00:12:21,569 A pregnancy test? 501 00:12:21,569 --> 00:12:23,529 And more importantly, 502 00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:26,282 are they seriously 503 00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:26,282 marketing them to black women? 504 00:12:26,282 --> 00:12:28,284 Guys, this is 505 00:12:26,282 --> 00:12:28,284 a terribly childish way 506 00:12:28,284 --> 00:12:30,620 to handle 507 00:12:28,284 --> 00:12:30,620 this kind of situation. 508 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,705 Does this mean 509 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,705 you have a new boyfriend? 510 00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:34,707 Who, who, who? 511 00:12:34,707 --> 00:12:37,334 Not that it's anyone's business. 512 00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:40,128 I recently reconnected 513 00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:40,128 with my husband over Labor Day. 514 00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:42,966 The Lord may have a plan 515 00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:42,966 that doesn't include 516 00:12:42,966 --> 00:12:46,010 that slut he ran away with. 517 00:12:42,966 --> 00:12:46,010 You're not pregnant, Shirley. 518 00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:48,930 Why does everybody think 519 00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:48,930 I'm old? I'm around Jeff's age. 520 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,974 I have a uterus. 521 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,974 According to my charts, 522 00:12:50,974 --> 00:12:53,017 you couldn't have conceived 523 00:12:50,974 --> 00:12:53,017 Labor Day. 524 00:12:53,017 --> 00:12:55,185 You would've been 525 00:12:53,017 --> 00:12:55,185 ovulating on Halloween. 526 00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:57,187 If you're gonna have 527 00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:57,187 a pregnant woman, 528 00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:58,982 I say go elevator labor 529 00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:58,982 or go home. 530 00:12:58,982 --> 00:13:00,817 Halloween? 531 00:13:00,817 --> 00:13:03,527 Well, that's that, then. 532 00:13:00,817 --> 00:13:03,527 Yeah, what a relief. 533 00:13:03,527 --> 00:13:06,572 Looks like someone narrowly 534 00:13:03,527 --> 00:13:06,572 avoided a mistake of their own. 535 00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:09,199 Oh, or is it only bad 536 00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:09,199 if you sleep with unmarried men? 537 00:13:09,199 --> 00:13:11,119 The Bible 538 00:13:09,199 --> 00:13:11,119 doesn't recognize divorce. 539 00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:12,912 You marry a man, 540 00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:12,912 he's your man. 541 00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:14,538 After he marries 542 00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:14,538 someone else, 543 00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,290 if you jump into the sack 544 00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,290 with him, 545 00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:19,043 you're an angel, so long as 546 00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:19,043 you don't use protection? 547 00:13:19,043 --> 00:13:21,087 I'm so glad 548 00:13:19,043 --> 00:13:21,087 you're enjoying this. 549 00:13:21,087 --> 00:13:25,215 And I hope whoever stole 550 00:13:21,087 --> 00:13:25,215 that pen enjoys it in hell. 551 00:13:25,215 --> 00:13:26,425 Nice try, Stephen Fry. 552 00:13:26,425 --> 00:13:28,011 Stephen Fry. 553 00:13:28,011 --> 00:13:30,763 We all have an agreement. 554 00:13:28,011 --> 00:13:30,763 Nobody leaves till we find it. 555 00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:34,475 Oh! 556 00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:34,475 Yeah, here we go. 557 00:13:34,475 --> 00:13:36,435 We are gonna find this pen. 558 00:13:36,435 --> 00:13:39,438 We are gonna find that pen. 559 00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:41,941 Oh... 560 00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:41,941 And if we can't find it, 561 00:13:41,941 --> 00:13:43,776 our children will find it. 562 00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:46,737 Is it over here in these books, 563 00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:46,737 the pen? 564 00:13:46,737 --> 00:13:49,448 This incredible, 565 00:13:46,737 --> 00:13:49,448 magical pen 566 00:13:49,448 --> 00:13:51,868 that nobody knows 567 00:13:49,448 --> 00:13:51,868 how it could disappear. 568 00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:53,703 Oh, maybe it's right in here. 569 00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:55,997 Guys, this is school property. 570 00:13:55,997 --> 00:13:58,248 Can we just forget it? 571 00:13:58,248 --> 00:14:00,292 It's a pen. 572 00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:08,300 Oh. 573 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:11,261 It's a pen now? 574 00:14:12,429 --> 00:14:14,515 Really? 575 00:14:14,515 --> 00:14:16,893 It's not a principle anymore? 576 00:14:16,893 --> 00:14:19,854 Now it's a pen? 577 00:14:21,105 --> 00:14:23,566 Why the change of heart? 578 00:14:23,566 --> 00:14:26,986 You're not seriously 579 00:14:23,566 --> 00:14:26,986 accusing me. We searched my bag. 580 00:14:26,986 --> 00:14:29,697 Which is exactly the last place 581 00:14:26,986 --> 00:14:29,697 you'd put it 582 00:14:29,697 --> 00:14:32,033 if you found it 583 00:14:29,697 --> 00:14:32,033 halfway through all this. 584 00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:35,078 In fact, assuming that one of us 585 00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:35,078 does have the pen, 586 00:14:35,078 --> 00:14:37,121 who has the most incentive 587 00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:39,331 to make sure it never sees 588 00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:39,331 the light of day? 589 00:14:39,331 --> 00:14:40,624 You wanna go there? 590 00:14:39,331 --> 00:14:40,624 Yeah. 591 00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:41,959 I'll go there, 592 00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:41,959 Okay. 593 00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,293 I was born there. 594 00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,293 Really? 595 00:14:43,293 --> 00:14:46,255 There's a placard there 596 00:14:43,293 --> 00:14:46,255 commemorating me. 597 00:14:46,255 --> 00:14:48,591 What's going on 598 00:14:46,255 --> 00:14:48,591 and how can I help? 599 00:14:48,591 --> 00:14:50,801 Annie, relax. 600 00:14:48,591 --> 00:14:50,801 No, you relax, Jeff. 601 00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,596 Or are you scared if you do, 602 00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,596 my pen will fall out? 603 00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:55,806 Oh, you precocious little bitch. 604 00:14:55,806 --> 00:14:58,392 Okay, guys, guys, 605 00:14:55,806 --> 00:14:58,392 hey, guys, stop. 606 00:14:58,392 --> 00:15:00,186 You're being 607 00:14:58,392 --> 00:15:00,186 completely illogical. 608 00:15:00,186 --> 00:15:02,939 We need to flip the table, 609 00:15:00,186 --> 00:15:02,939 divide by gender, then search 610 00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:05,608 each other in our underwear. 611 00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:05,608 What? 612 00:15:05,608 --> 00:15:07,068 Now what? 613 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:10,947 Everybody shake. 614 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:10,947 Enough to dislodge. 615 00:15:13,282 --> 00:15:15,701 Okay, anything hit the floor? 616 00:15:13,282 --> 00:15:15,701 No. 617 00:15:15,701 --> 00:15:18,037 What are those underwear 618 00:15:15,701 --> 00:15:18,037 made out of? 619 00:15:18,037 --> 00:15:20,372 Oh, they're an organic 620 00:15:18,037 --> 00:15:20,372 soy-cotton blend. 621 00:15:20,372 --> 00:15:22,499 This Gwynnifer 622 00:15:20,372 --> 00:15:22,499 must be real special. 623 00:15:22,499 --> 00:15:25,461 Don't you usually wear the 624 00:15:22,499 --> 00:15:25,461 stripey Beetlejuice numbers? 625 00:15:25,461 --> 00:15:26,963 What does she mean, 626 00:15:25,461 --> 00:15:26,963 usually? 627 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,339 All right, 628 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,339 end of the road. 629 00:15:29,339 --> 00:15:32,009 We've torn apart the room, 630 00:15:29,339 --> 00:15:32,009 we've stripped. 631 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:35,846 There is absolutely 632 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:35,846 no place left... 633 00:15:37,723 --> 00:15:40,101 No. 634 00:15:40,101 --> 00:15:41,936 No. 635 00:15:45,481 --> 00:15:46,941 No. 636 00:15:46,941 --> 00:15:49,068 No! No. 637 00:15:51,361 --> 00:15:54,198 Damn it. 638 00:15:51,361 --> 00:15:54,198 Broke my scissors. 639 00:15:54,198 --> 00:15:56,325 Here. Be careful. 640 00:15:56,325 --> 00:15:58,911 That's the last pair we have. 641 00:15:58,911 --> 00:16:00,412 Also, don't cut his legs. 642 00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:03,707 I'm worried 643 00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:03,707 we've gone too far. 644 00:16:03,707 --> 00:16:05,709 This is how super villains 645 00:16:03,707 --> 00:16:05,709 are created. 646 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,795 Can't you just make 647 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,795 a speech about trust 648 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:09,421 throw in a few digs 649 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:09,421 at a celebrity 650 00:16:09,421 --> 00:16:11,215 and put a ribbon 651 00:16:09,421 --> 00:16:11,215 on this thing? 652 00:16:11,215 --> 00:16:14,010 Abed, think about this 653 00:16:11,215 --> 00:16:14,010 for one second. 654 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,886 If a single one of us 655 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,886 leaves this room 656 00:16:15,886 --> 00:16:17,554 before we find that pen, 657 00:16:17,554 --> 00:16:20,933 how can any of us trust anyone 658 00:16:17,554 --> 00:16:20,933 in this group ever again? 659 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:24,270 What's your hurry? 660 00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:25,646 I'm clothing myself. 661 00:16:25,646 --> 00:16:27,731 I'm not comfortable 662 00:16:25,646 --> 00:16:27,731 in my all-together 663 00:16:27,731 --> 00:16:29,108 like you two anorexic jezeb... 664 00:16:29,108 --> 00:16:32,653 Oh, I'm so sorry, 665 00:16:29,108 --> 00:16:32,653 that was really mean. 666 00:16:32,653 --> 00:16:34,363 I don't know 667 00:16:32,653 --> 00:16:34,363 where that came from. 668 00:16:34,363 --> 00:16:36,240 We've all been through 669 00:16:34,363 --> 00:16:36,240 a lot today. 670 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,659 And I'm sure 671 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,659 this pregnancy scare's 672 00:16:38,659 --> 00:16:40,577 been weighing on you 673 00:16:38,659 --> 00:16:40,577 all week, right? 674 00:16:40,577 --> 00:16:41,871 Mm-hm. 675 00:16:41,871 --> 00:16:44,123 And maybe that's why 676 00:16:41,871 --> 00:16:44,123 you took my pen? 677 00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:45,833 What? 678 00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:45,833 Where are you hiding it? 679 00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:47,417 Oh, my goodne... 680 00:16:47,417 --> 00:16:50,004 All right, here we go. 681 00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:56,344 It smells like 682 00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:56,344 a Waffle House sink. 683 00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:59,847 Pierce, are you using Slim Jims 684 00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:59,847 to scratch your legs? 685 00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:03,226 Have we not gotten to a place 686 00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:03,226 free of judgment yet? 687 00:17:03,226 --> 00:17:05,186 This isn't it, this isn't it, 688 00:17:03,226 --> 00:17:05,186 where is it? 689 00:17:05,186 --> 00:17:07,730 Where's the pen, 690 00:17:05,186 --> 00:17:07,730 where's the pen? 691 00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:10,149 Where's the pen? 692 00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:13,069 It's getting a little chilly 693 00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:13,069 outside, 694 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,654 so the animal wranglers asked 695 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,654 every student 696 00:17:15,654 --> 00:17:18,407 to pick up a puppy 697 00:17:15,654 --> 00:17:18,407 and hold it so they stay warm 698 00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:20,993 while the volunteers 699 00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:20,993 hand out puppy-sized hats. 700 00:17:20,993 --> 00:17:22,536 Honestly, I don't know 701 00:17:22,536 --> 00:17:24,621 why I'm even making 702 00:17:22,536 --> 00:17:24,621 these announcements. 703 00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:29,418 There can't be anyone 704 00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:29,418 who isn't already on the quad. 705 00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:39,469 Annie, 706 00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:39,469 I'd just like to say, 707 00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,931 on behalf of whoever 708 00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,931 actually stole this pen, 709 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:44,392 I really am sorry 710 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:44,392 about all this. 711 00:17:44,392 --> 00:17:46,435 I knew it was you. 712 00:17:44,392 --> 00:17:46,435 I knew it was you. 713 00:17:46,435 --> 00:17:49,021 It could be any of you. 714 00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:50,898 For all we know, it's you. 715 00:17:50,898 --> 00:17:52,983 I wish it were. 716 00:17:50,898 --> 00:17:52,983 I really do. 717 00:17:52,983 --> 00:17:55,027 I wish I could just find it 718 00:17:52,983 --> 00:17:55,027 behind my ear. 719 00:17:55,027 --> 00:17:57,280 I'd rather be that stupid 720 00:17:55,027 --> 00:17:57,280 than have to think 721 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,073 any of us 722 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,073 might be inconsiderate. 723 00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:02,326 After all we've been through, 724 00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:02,326 it almost seems impossible. 725 00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:08,874 It seems 726 00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:08,874 less than impossible. 727 00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:13,837 Something impossible 728 00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:13,837 actually seems more likely. 729 00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:16,299 Here we go. 730 00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:16,299 A Winger speech to take us home. 731 00:18:16,299 --> 00:18:18,092 What if a ghost took the pen? 732 00:18:18,092 --> 00:18:19,843 Let him finish. 733 00:18:18,092 --> 00:18:19,843 I am finished. 734 00:18:19,843 --> 00:18:22,430 For real, honestly, 735 00:18:19,843 --> 00:18:22,430 seriously, why not? 736 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,890 Why not just a ghost 737 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,890 took the pen? 738 00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,393 Okay, I've been 739 00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,393 saying that for hours. 740 00:18:27,393 --> 00:18:30,229 And we should've listened 741 00:18:27,393 --> 00:18:30,229 to Troy from the beginning. 742 00:18:30,229 --> 00:18:31,480 Guys, look in your hearts 743 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,441 and answer this question 744 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,441 honestly. 745 00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:34,817 What's more likely? 746 00:18:34,817 --> 00:18:36,693 That someone in this group 747 00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:39,613 doesn't belong 748 00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:39,613 in this group or ghosts? 749 00:18:39,613 --> 00:18:41,991 If we have to choose 750 00:18:39,613 --> 00:18:41,991 between turning on each other 751 00:18:41,991 --> 00:18:43,575 or pinning it 752 00:18:41,991 --> 00:18:43,575 on some specter 753 00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:45,702 with unfinished 754 00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:45,702 pen-related business, 755 00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:49,039 I'm sorry, 756 00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:49,039 but my money's on ghost. 757 00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:52,042 Well, 758 00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:52,042 I'm not a religious person, 759 00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,253 but I've seen specials 760 00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,253 on the paranormal. 761 00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:55,504 Anything's possible. 762 00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:57,423 Relative to the alternative? 763 00:18:57,423 --> 00:19:00,550 It actually seems 764 00:18:57,423 --> 00:19:00,550 more logical to me. 765 00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:02,886 Why would a ghost want a pen? 766 00:19:06,849 --> 00:19:09,601 Troy? 767 00:19:09,601 --> 00:19:11,770 Okay, so I see it 768 00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:14,106 as a lot like the movie 769 00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:14,106 Paranormal Activity, 770 00:19:14,106 --> 00:19:17,026 except for more boring 771 00:19:14,106 --> 00:19:17,026 and fancy. 772 00:19:17,026 --> 00:19:19,403 And I think in 1856, 773 00:19:19,403 --> 00:19:21,571 it is possible 774 00:19:19,403 --> 00:19:21,571 that a man was beheaded 775 00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:23,657 while he was 776 00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:23,657 writing in his diary 777 00:19:23,657 --> 00:19:25,201 to his long-lost love. 778 00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:27,411 And now he roams 779 00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:27,411 the halls of Greendale 780 00:19:27,411 --> 00:19:28,620 screaming for his pen 781 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,331 so he can write her 782 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,331 a love letter. 783 00:19:30,331 --> 00:19:31,999 "I need her, 784 00:19:30,331 --> 00:19:31,999 I need her," 785 00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:35,419 he screams 786 00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:35,419 as he looks for a pen. 787 00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:47,431 What the hell 788 00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:47,431 did you people do in there? 789 00:19:47,431 --> 00:19:50,351 Something 790 00:19:47,431 --> 00:19:50,351 you could only dream of, 791 00:19:50,351 --> 00:19:53,229 you non-miraculous 792 00:19:50,351 --> 00:19:53,229 son of a bitch. 793 00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:56,273 Non-miraculous? 794 00:19:56,273 --> 00:19:59,193 Wait. Abed. 795 00:20:36,021 --> 00:20:40,192 Now, who could resist falling 796 00:20:36,021 --> 00:20:40,192 in love with our next float? 797 00:20:40,192 --> 00:20:42,694 This Autumn Colors puppy 798 00:20:40,192 --> 00:20:42,694 reminds us 799 00:20:42,694 --> 00:20:44,780 that while the leaves 800 00:20:42,694 --> 00:20:44,780 might be changing, 801 00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:48,492 responsible pet ownership 802 00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:48,492 is always in season. 803 00:20:48,492 --> 00:20:52,580 Oh, here's a crowd favorite, 804 00:20:48,492 --> 00:20:52,580 the Top and Tails float. 805 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:55,458 A champagne bath 806 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:55,458 and a red sports car? 807 00:20:55,458 --> 00:20:57,209 Let's hope he's single. 808 00:20:57,209 --> 00:20:59,044 Okay... Oh, okay. 809 00:20:59,044 --> 00:21:02,965 Well, this one feels 810 00:20:59,044 --> 00:21:02,965 a little preachy. Oh. 811 00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:06,302 Boo! Boo!