1 00:00:02,097 --> 00:00:03,891 Really? Hi! 2 00:00:02,097 --> 00:00:03,891 I looked everywhere. 3 00:00:03,891 --> 00:00:05,225 Hey. 4 00:00:03,891 --> 00:00:05,225 Hey. 5 00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:06,560 Happy New Year! 6 00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:09,437 Hi. 7 00:00:11,439 --> 00:00:12,691 Everyone have a good break? 8 00:00:12,691 --> 00:00:14,776 I discovered a new muscle 9 00:00:12,691 --> 00:00:14,776 to work out. 10 00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:17,320 Ladies, you'll thank me 11 00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:17,320 come tank-top season. 12 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,156 I checked all of 13 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,156 Pierce's wardrobes 14 00:00:19,156 --> 00:00:21,075 for portals 15 00:00:19,156 --> 00:00:21,075 to magical worlds. 16 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:22,450 All I found 17 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:22,450 was something called 18 00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:24,452 Emmanuelle in Space 19 00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:24,452 on laser disc. 20 00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:26,830 I couldn't watch it 21 00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:26,830 but it sounded sexy. 22 00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:28,456 "Laser disc." 23 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,834 I joined a group 24 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,834 that cleans the city. 25 00:00:30,834 --> 00:00:33,128 We picked up litter 26 00:00:30,834 --> 00:00:33,128 and dredged the river. 27 00:00:33,128 --> 00:00:34,546 Dredged it for what? 28 00:00:34,546 --> 00:00:35,881 You know, garbage and stuff. 29 00:00:35,881 --> 00:00:38,258 Tires. Condoms. 30 00:00:35,881 --> 00:00:38,258 Needles. 31 00:00:38,258 --> 00:00:40,427 Ha. At one point 32 00:00:38,258 --> 00:00:40,427 we found a finger. 33 00:00:40,427 --> 00:00:43,013 Why are you using 34 00:00:40,427 --> 00:00:43,013 your I-love-butterflies voice? 35 00:00:43,013 --> 00:00:45,140 What? Am I? 36 00:00:43,013 --> 00:00:45,140 I don't know. 37 00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:46,391 Volunteer work is nice. 38 00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,643 You do nice things 39 00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,643 with nice people. 40 00:00:48,643 --> 00:00:50,604 Ooh. 41 00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:53,857 Somebody's finding river fingers 42 00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:53,857 with a cute boy. 43 00:00:53,857 --> 00:00:56,068 What? No. 44 00:00:56,068 --> 00:00:58,779 Well, okay, yes, 45 00:00:56,068 --> 00:00:58,779 but it doesn't matter. 46 00:00:58,779 --> 00:01:01,156 It's not like I'm seeing anyone. 47 00:00:58,779 --> 00:01:01,156 There's just a guy. 48 00:01:01,156 --> 00:01:03,742 A guy that goes to Greendale? 49 00:01:01,156 --> 00:01:03,742 Is it the Russian guy 50 00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:05,285 that looks like a short 51 00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:05,285 Johnny Depp? 52 00:01:05,285 --> 00:01:07,121 Is it the guy who looks 53 00:01:05,285 --> 00:01:07,121 like Vince Vaughn 54 00:01:07,121 --> 00:01:09,081 but smells like fish? 55 00:01:07,121 --> 00:01:09,081 I don't wanna talk about it. 56 00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:11,959 I have someone in my life 57 00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:11,959 that I'm happy to talk about. 58 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:13,293 Again with the Jesus. 59 00:01:13,293 --> 00:01:14,669 Jesus is always in my life. 60 00:01:14,669 --> 00:01:16,463 But things have been 61 00:01:14,669 --> 00:01:16,463 looking better every day 62 00:01:16,463 --> 00:01:17,881 with my ex-husband. 63 00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:22,177 Is it the guy 64 00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:22,177 that looks like Anderson Cooper? 65 00:01:22,177 --> 00:01:24,096 No. 66 00:01:22,177 --> 00:01:24,096 Is it black Michael Chiklis? 67 00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:25,597 No. 68 00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:25,597 White George Foreman? 69 00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:27,808 You guys are talking 70 00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:27,808 about the same person. 71 00:01:27,808 --> 00:01:30,144 He's bi-racial, his name is 72 00:01:27,808 --> 00:01:30,144 David, and he's a human being. 73 00:01:30,144 --> 00:01:33,772 Stop guessing. It's just a 74 00:01:30,144 --> 00:01:33,772 friend. Change the subject. 75 00:01:33,772 --> 00:01:36,108 "Chang" the subject. 76 00:01:33,772 --> 00:01:36,108 Aah! 77 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,945 What are you doing up there? 78 00:01:39,945 --> 00:01:42,572 It's the beginning of a new 79 00:01:39,945 --> 00:01:42,572 semester of anthropology. 80 00:01:42,572 --> 00:01:44,407 I'm here to get 81 00:01:42,572 --> 00:01:44,407 what I was promised. 82 00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:46,576 Sure. Who has 83 00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:46,576 Chang's pile of nothing? 84 00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:49,288 You know what I mean. 85 00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:49,288 I am sick of the runaround. 86 00:01:49,288 --> 00:01:51,248 I'm here to demand an answer 87 00:01:51,248 --> 00:01:52,916 about whether I'm joining 88 00:01:51,248 --> 00:01:52,916 the study group. 89 00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,918 If we have to give 90 00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,918 an immediate answer, 91 00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:56,253 it would have to be no. 92 00:01:56,253 --> 00:01:58,922 Take your time. 93 00:01:56,253 --> 00:01:58,922 Sleep on it. 94 00:01:58,922 --> 00:02:01,508 Then get back to me, 95 00:01:58,922 --> 00:02:01,508 or else. 96 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,347 Jeff, you did say 97 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,347 we would let him in eventually. 98 00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:10,100 That was before he started 99 00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:10,100 using his name as a pun. 100 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:13,394 It makes me so Changry. 101 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:13,394 Oh, God, it's happening to me. 102 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,772 Let's get back to who Annie 103 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,772 loves. Is it Fat Neil? 104 00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:17,357 Bluestreak? 105 00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:17,357 Optimus Prime? 106 00:02:17,357 --> 00:02:19,109 I know some of these 107 00:02:17,357 --> 00:02:19,109 are Transformers. 108 00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:20,986 Who cares? 109 00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:20,986 Let's just study. 110 00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,863 We haven't had 111 00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,863 our first class yet. 112 00:02:22,863 --> 00:02:25,115 Can we talk about something 113 00:02:22,863 --> 00:02:25,115 other than Annie's love life? 114 00:02:25,115 --> 00:02:27,242 We could talk about 115 00:02:25,115 --> 00:02:27,242 my love life. 116 00:02:27,242 --> 00:02:29,577 Is it Jean Claude Van Overbite? 117 00:02:29,577 --> 00:02:30,912 We should learn 118 00:02:29,577 --> 00:02:30,912 people's names. 119 00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:32,622 I agree with brown 120 00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:32,622 Jamie Lee Curtis. 121 00:02:33,874 --> 00:02:35,334 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" 122 00:02:33,874 --> 00:02:35,334 PLAYING] 123 00:03:00,483 --> 00:03:02,194 Duncan's late. 124 00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,905 I hope he didn't drive his car 125 00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,905 into another marathon. 126 00:03:04,905 --> 00:03:07,282 How can you wanna 127 00:03:04,905 --> 00:03:07,282 date your ex-husband 128 00:03:07,282 --> 00:03:08,658 after what he did to you? 129 00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,785 He apologized. 130 00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,785 Oh, he apologized. 131 00:03:10,785 --> 00:03:13,288 I guess that completely 132 00:03:10,785 --> 00:03:13,288 un-bangs that stripper. 133 00:03:13,288 --> 00:03:15,498 Well, forgive me 134 00:03:13,288 --> 00:03:15,498 for being forgiving. 135 00:03:15,498 --> 00:03:17,751 Oh, that's right, 136 00:03:15,498 --> 00:03:17,751 you don't know how. 137 00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:20,837 I'm relieved Shirley is seeing 138 00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:20,837 her ex-husband and not Chang. 139 00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:22,463 Why would she be with Chang? 140 00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,799 Why do I have to say 141 00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,799 everything I'm thinking? 142 00:03:24,799 --> 00:03:27,302 I wish my mouth 143 00:03:24,799 --> 00:03:27,302 was further away from my brain. 144 00:03:27,302 --> 00:03:29,179 I wish my brain 145 00:03:27,302 --> 00:03:29,179 had its own brain. 146 00:03:29,179 --> 00:03:31,348 I wish Chang hadn't had sex 147 00:03:29,179 --> 00:03:31,348 with Shirley. 148 00:03:31,348 --> 00:03:33,267 What? When? 149 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:35,643 Where? 150 00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:37,979 How? 151 00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:37,979 I can't talk about it. 152 00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:41,233 Troy, I'm your roommate. 153 00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:41,233 I can keep a secret. 154 00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:44,236 Remember that Halloween party 155 00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:44,236 that none of us can remember? 156 00:03:44,236 --> 00:03:46,405 I don't remember anything 157 00:03:44,236 --> 00:03:46,405 we can remember. 158 00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:49,532 Well, Chang left me a message 159 00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:49,532 that night saying they did it. 160 00:03:49,532 --> 00:03:51,451 But you can't tell anybody. 161 00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:54,079 You have my word 162 00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:54,079 as your roommate, 163 00:03:54,079 --> 00:03:56,623 and that is a bond 164 00:03:54,079 --> 00:03:56,623 I will never violate. 165 00:03:58,292 --> 00:04:01,378 You can't tweet it either. 166 00:03:58,292 --> 00:04:01,378 We never discussed new media. 167 00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:03,046 Sorry all that stuff 168 00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:03,046 got dragged out 169 00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:05,382 about me having a crush 170 00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:05,382 on somebody. 171 00:04:05,382 --> 00:04:06,967 Why would you be sorry 172 00:04:05,382 --> 00:04:06,967 about that? 173 00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:09,344 You know, awkward. 174 00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,512 You don't think 175 00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,512 I actually care, do you? 176 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:14,474 No, I just didn't want you 177 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:14,474 to think I thought you cared. 178 00:04:14,474 --> 00:04:18,270 Greetings, welcome to your 179 00:04:14,474 --> 00:04:18,270 second semester of anthropology 180 00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:20,772 where it is about to get real. 181 00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:23,317 Now, I forget 182 00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:23,317 where we left off last year. 183 00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:25,568 Uh... Fat Neil. 184 00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:25,568 The Bronze Age? 185 00:04:25,568 --> 00:04:27,821 Thank you, Fat Neil. 186 00:04:25,568 --> 00:04:27,821 Neil's fine. 187 00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:29,656 Not from an actuarial 188 00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:29,656 standpoint. 189 00:04:29,656 --> 00:04:31,366 Now, please forgive 190 00:04:29,656 --> 00:04:31,366 my lateness, 191 00:04:31,366 --> 00:04:35,245 but I wasn't sure 192 00:04:31,366 --> 00:04:35,245 how to find Greendale sober. 193 00:04:35,245 --> 00:04:39,916 Yes, you heard me right, 194 00:04:35,245 --> 00:04:39,916 I have stopped drinking, 195 00:04:39,916 --> 00:04:41,335 mainly due to the fact 196 00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:42,961 that I could no longer 197 00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:42,961 get an erection. 198 00:04:42,961 --> 00:04:44,338 Now that I'm on the wagon, 199 00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:47,424 you can expect both this class 200 00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:47,424 and my penis 201 00:04:47,424 --> 00:04:51,136 to be more focused 202 00:04:47,424 --> 00:04:51,136 and rewarding. 203 00:04:51,136 --> 00:04:53,138 Also, there's gonna be 204 00:04:51,136 --> 00:04:53,138 more than one diorama. 205 00:04:53,138 --> 00:04:54,889 Ugh. 206 00:04:53,138 --> 00:04:54,889 Lame. 207 00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:57,517 I am so sorry. 208 00:04:57,517 --> 00:05:00,728 I train seeing-eye dogs 209 00:04:57,517 --> 00:05:00,728 and today was graduation. 210 00:05:00,728 --> 00:05:02,897 I couldn't leave without 211 00:05:00,728 --> 00:05:02,897 shaking all their little paws. 212 00:05:02,897 --> 00:05:05,566 Rich. 213 00:05:02,897 --> 00:05:05,566 Jeff. 214 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:06,985 Rich. 215 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:06,985 Annie. 216 00:05:06,985 --> 00:05:08,736 Annie? Rich? 217 00:05:08,736 --> 00:05:11,781 You're taking anthropology? 218 00:05:08,736 --> 00:05:11,781 You made it sound so fun. 219 00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:14,159 We spent the holiday break 220 00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:14,159 dredging a river together. 221 00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:16,036 We found... 222 00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:16,036 A finger, yeah. Hmm. 223 00:05:16,036 --> 00:05:19,289 Sounds gruesome, but I'm used 224 00:05:16,036 --> 00:05:19,289 to seeing that kind of thing. 225 00:05:19,289 --> 00:05:21,208 Because I'm a doctor. 226 00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,376 That's terrific. 227 00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:24,627 You're valuable. 228 00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:27,506 I can't believe Rich actually 229 00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:27,506 enrolled in our class. 230 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:28,965 It means he likes me, 231 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:28,965 right? 232 00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:31,218 Why wouldn't he? 233 00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:31,218 He is so sweet. 234 00:05:31,218 --> 00:05:32,802 Yeah, sweet and wise. 235 00:05:32,802 --> 00:05:34,929 He has lived 236 00:05:32,802 --> 00:05:34,929 such a long, full life. 237 00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,349 How old is he again? 238 00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,349 Thirty-something. 239 00:05:37,349 --> 00:05:39,518 He has a landline 240 00:05:37,349 --> 00:05:39,518 and uses the word "album." 241 00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:41,602 You don't think 242 00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:41,602 he's too old for me? 243 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:44,523 No. 244 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:44,523 No, come on, by that logic, 245 00:05:44,523 --> 00:05:46,858 I wouldn't have a shot 246 00:05:44,523 --> 00:05:46,858 with anybody at this table. 247 00:05:46,858 --> 00:05:48,651 Ugh. 248 00:05:46,858 --> 00:05:48,651 Speaking of creepy, 249 00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:50,862 sober Duncan is worse 250 00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:50,862 than drunk Duncan. 251 00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:53,281 This class is about to 252 00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:53,281 get really hard. 253 00:05:53,281 --> 00:05:55,825 I have an idea about that. 254 00:05:53,281 --> 00:05:55,825 Rich is really smart 255 00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:57,618 and he knows a lot 256 00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:57,618 about anthropology. 257 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,079 If we start 258 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,079 studying with him, 259 00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:01,331 it could help a lot, 260 00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:01,331 plus, you know... 261 00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:04,583 Heh-heh. 262 00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:04,583 Oh, you know what, though? 263 00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:06,336 I just realized. 264 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:09,005 So unfair to so many people, 265 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:09,005 right? 266 00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:10,465 Britta, 267 00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:10,465 you're always talking about 268 00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:13,260 how we have no one 269 00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:13,260 of Latin descent. 270 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:15,970 Pierce, you're looking 271 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:15,970 for someone old enough 272 00:06:15,970 --> 00:06:17,347 to find your racism subversive. 273 00:06:17,347 --> 00:06:19,558 I could go on and on. 274 00:06:19,558 --> 00:06:21,893 There's a process. 275 00:06:19,558 --> 00:06:21,893 It takes time. 276 00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:24,603 Well, then I say 277 00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:24,603 we gather all the candidates 278 00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:27,023 and make an informed, 279 00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:27,023 democratic decision. 280 00:06:27,023 --> 00:06:29,150 We can have a mixer, 281 00:06:27,023 --> 00:06:29,150 invite the people 282 00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:30,818 we're submitting 283 00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:30,818 for consideration. 284 00:06:30,818 --> 00:06:32,070 All in favor of tonight? 285 00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,530 Oh, I am. 286 00:06:33,530 --> 00:06:35,031 Thank you, I'm finished. 287 00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:37,951 No, I'd say you got 288 00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:37,951 about two more good years. 289 00:06:37,951 --> 00:06:41,079 Oh, everyone, 290 00:06:37,951 --> 00:06:41,079 this is Andre. 291 00:06:41,079 --> 00:06:42,747 My ex-husband 292 00:06:41,079 --> 00:06:42,747 and boyfriend. 293 00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:44,499 He came to spend the day 294 00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:44,499 with me. 295 00:06:44,499 --> 00:06:47,877 Hey, nice to meet you guys. 296 00:06:44,499 --> 00:06:47,877 I've heard a lot about you. 297 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:49,463 We haven't heard 298 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:49,463 a lot about you 299 00:06:49,463 --> 00:06:51,548 or what you've done 300 00:06:49,463 --> 00:06:51,548 or with who. 301 00:06:51,548 --> 00:06:53,425 Well, I hope 302 00:06:51,548 --> 00:06:53,425 you give me a chance 303 00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:56,261 to make up for everything 304 00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:56,261 you haven't heard. 305 00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:59,806 Hey, how about a round 306 00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:59,806 of soft serve on me? 307 00:06:59,806 --> 00:07:01,766 Isn't he handsome? 308 00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:05,353 Shirley, I've been fed a lot 309 00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:05,353 of soft serve by a lot of guys. 310 00:07:05,353 --> 00:07:06,896 Sometimes it's rent money, 311 00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:08,607 sometimes it's 312 00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:08,607 Chili Peppers tickets. 313 00:07:08,607 --> 00:07:10,108 And, yeah, I'll admit it, 314 00:07:10,108 --> 00:07:12,360 one time it was a gym bag 315 00:07:10,108 --> 00:07:12,360 full of nickels. 316 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,904 But it never lasts 317 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,904 and they never change. 318 00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:17,657 Britta, I'm a grown-ass woman 319 00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:17,657 and I made my decision. 320 00:07:17,657 --> 00:07:19,117 How do you know 321 00:07:17,657 --> 00:07:19,117 it's the right one? 322 00:07:19,117 --> 00:07:20,994 Because I'm pregnant, okay? 323 00:07:24,456 --> 00:07:27,584 I was going to wait 324 00:07:24,456 --> 00:07:27,584 to share my exciting news, 325 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:29,794 but now's a good time 326 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:29,794 to tell you 327 00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:31,171 that I am eight weeks along. 328 00:07:31,171 --> 00:07:32,797 Which is a little surprising. 329 00:07:34,257 --> 00:07:35,592 Halloween. 330 00:07:35,592 --> 00:07:37,594 What? 331 00:07:35,592 --> 00:07:37,594 Nothing. 332 00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:43,266 Thanks for coming, 333 00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:43,266 fellow anthropology students. 334 00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:44,559 For the first semester, 335 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:46,769 you knew us as 336 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:46,769 "that study group." 337 00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:49,230 But tonight, 338 00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:49,230 we wanna get to know you. 339 00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,690 Please forgive the spread. 340 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,900 The vending machines 341 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,900 haven't been restocked. 342 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,487 So help yourselves 343 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,487 to Tropical Skittles, 344 00:07:55,487 --> 00:07:56,988 cigarettes or mouth wash. 345 00:07:56,988 --> 00:08:00,950 And have a good time. 346 00:08:01,909 --> 00:08:04,454 Okay. 347 00:08:01,909 --> 00:08:04,454 I have to figure out 348 00:08:04,454 --> 00:08:06,039 if Shirley did it 349 00:08:04,454 --> 00:08:06,039 with her ex-husband 350 00:08:06,039 --> 00:08:07,624 the week after Halloween. 351 00:08:07,624 --> 00:08:09,959 How are you gonna do that? 352 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:11,336 I got moves. 353 00:08:11,336 --> 00:08:14,005 So bun in the oven. 354 00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:16,591 Guess it's no surprise, 355 00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:16,591 after working on it. 356 00:08:16,591 --> 00:08:18,385 I wouldn't quite say 357 00:08:16,591 --> 00:08:18,385 working on it, 358 00:08:18,385 --> 00:08:20,845 just kind of happens. 359 00:08:18,385 --> 00:08:20,845 Oh, yeah, I do. 360 00:08:20,845 --> 00:08:22,639 Especially 361 00:08:20,845 --> 00:08:22,639 when the season's right. 362 00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:25,642 Oh. Dead leaves. 363 00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:25,642 Pumpkins everywhere. 364 00:08:25,642 --> 00:08:28,019 Nature's Viagra, right? 365 00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:29,937 I guess. 366 00:08:29,937 --> 00:08:32,023 And then when all the pumpkins 367 00:08:29,937 --> 00:08:32,023 just start to rot 368 00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:35,193 and all the children 369 00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:35,193 have removed their outfits 370 00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:39,072 because they've already 371 00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:39,072 gotten their candy. 372 00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:44,160 You know, I'm gonna go talk 373 00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:44,160 to some other people, all right? 374 00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:51,959 So? 375 00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:51,959 His mind is like a fortress. 376 00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:54,962 Why not tell Shirley, 377 00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:54,962 "Look, you slept with Chang," 378 00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:56,590 and let her deal with it? 379 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:58,132 If someone had sex with Chang 380 00:08:58,132 --> 00:09:00,218 and get to not remember 381 00:08:58,132 --> 00:09:00,218 it happened, 382 00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:01,511 that's a gift from God. 383 00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:03,221 I'm not taking 384 00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:03,221 that away from her. 385 00:09:03,221 --> 00:09:04,639 Here's a good reason. 386 00:09:04,639 --> 00:09:06,891 You ever find parsley 387 00:09:04,639 --> 00:09:06,891 in your teeth 388 00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:09,102 that your friends 389 00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:09,102 hadn't told you about? 390 00:09:09,102 --> 00:09:11,354 Now imagine your teeth 391 00:09:09,102 --> 00:09:11,354 are a uterus, 392 00:09:11,354 --> 00:09:13,565 and the parsley 393 00:09:11,354 --> 00:09:13,565 is a half-Chinese baby. 394 00:09:13,565 --> 00:09:16,526 Hey, guys, 395 00:09:13,565 --> 00:09:16,526 I want you to meet someone. 396 00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:19,654 My name's Quendra, 397 00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:19,654 I spell it with a Q-U. 398 00:09:19,654 --> 00:09:21,989 She's thinking 399 00:09:19,654 --> 00:09:21,989 about taking anthropology. 400 00:09:21,989 --> 00:09:24,534 So maybe she would make 401 00:09:21,989 --> 00:09:24,534 a nice addition or two 402 00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:26,827 to our study group. 403 00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:26,827 Something to consider. 404 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,288 Are you Abed? 405 00:09:28,288 --> 00:09:30,081 I love Star Wars. 406 00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:31,499 That's Troy. 407 00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:32,751 I love footballs. 408 00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:34,502 We're dealing with 409 00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:34,502 heavier things 410 00:09:34,502 --> 00:09:36,170 than your shameless lobbying. 411 00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:37,756 Rich brought kettle corn. 412 00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:40,717 Kettle corn? 413 00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:40,717 That's a fun-time snack. 414 00:09:40,717 --> 00:09:42,802 I make it in my garage. 415 00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:47,807 I spell kettle corn 416 00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:47,807 with a Q-U. 417 00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:49,267 Well, don't. 418 00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:51,102 What is this? 419 00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:51,102 What's going on? 420 00:09:51,102 --> 00:09:52,520 It's a mixer. 421 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,063 Why is everyone 422 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,063 from anthro class here? 423 00:09:54,063 --> 00:09:56,857 Are you guys picking 424 00:09:54,063 --> 00:09:56,857 a new study group member? 425 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,402 You didn't invite me? 426 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,402 Didn't know how to reach you. 427 00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,862 What are you talking about? 428 00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,862 I'm everywhere. 429 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,906 We didn't know 430 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,906 how to reach you. 431 00:10:03,906 --> 00:10:06,159 That's not true. 432 00:10:03,906 --> 00:10:06,159 That's a lie. 433 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,077 We didn't know how to reach you. 434 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,077 It's a mixer. 435 00:10:08,077 --> 00:10:11,414 It's a mixer. It's a mixer. 436 00:10:08,077 --> 00:10:11,414 It's a mixer. 437 00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:14,125 Works every time. 438 00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:15,918 This is so good. 439 00:10:17,378 --> 00:10:19,422 Fifty dollars? What a pig. 440 00:10:19,422 --> 00:10:21,257 You can't make this at home. 441 00:10:26,262 --> 00:10:29,349 Jeff, I think 442 00:10:26,262 --> 00:10:29,349 we should vote now. 443 00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:31,225 Most people left 444 00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:31,225 after we ran out of Skittles. 445 00:10:31,225 --> 00:10:33,520 Come on, it's pretty obvious 446 00:10:31,225 --> 00:10:33,520 Rich is the best candidate. 447 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,189 Yeah, looks like he's our guy. 448 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,189 I'll be right there. 449 00:10:37,857 --> 00:10:40,026 This can't be happening. 450 00:10:40,026 --> 00:10:42,445 I agree. 451 00:10:46,115 --> 00:10:47,826 You can't talk, 452 00:10:46,115 --> 00:10:47,826 then do a slow clap. 453 00:10:47,826 --> 00:10:49,327 You don't know that. 454 00:10:49,327 --> 00:10:50,953 But I know this. 455 00:10:50,953 --> 00:10:53,623 Unless you want a front row seat 456 00:10:50,953 --> 00:10:53,623 to Annie loves Richie, 457 00:10:53,623 --> 00:10:57,293 it's time to "Chang" 458 00:10:53,623 --> 00:10:57,293 your point of view. 459 00:10:57,293 --> 00:10:58,878 It's not even clever. 460 00:10:58,878 --> 00:11:01,297 You keep using it 461 00:10:58,878 --> 00:11:01,297 as the word "change." 462 00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:05,926 Okay. Okay. Okay. 463 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:09,013 Just do me a favor. 464 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:11,265 Let me do all the talking 465 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:11,265 and follow my lead. 466 00:11:11,265 --> 00:11:13,309 Deal. 467 00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:16,145 Seriously, 468 00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:16,145 do you have brain damage? 469 00:11:16,145 --> 00:11:18,648 Rich is also board-certified 470 00:11:16,145 --> 00:11:18,648 in pediatrics. 471 00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:21,693 Once a month he flies down 472 00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:21,693 to volunteer in the rainforest 473 00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:23,403 fixing children's 474 00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:23,403 cleft palates 475 00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:25,363 and teaching them 476 00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:25,363 acoustic guitar. 477 00:11:25,363 --> 00:11:26,865 Other than that, well, 478 00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:28,991 his kettle corn 479 00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:28,991 speaks for itself. 480 00:11:28,991 --> 00:11:30,702 I couldn't agree more. 481 00:11:30,702 --> 00:11:32,662 Looks like this is 482 00:11:30,702 --> 00:11:32,662 an open-and-shut case. 483 00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:34,622 Did someone say case? 484 00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:36,207 Because I haven't made mine yet. 485 00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:38,209 What? What's your case? 486 00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:40,919 Ben Chang is my case. 487 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,380 You can't be serious. 488 00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:43,840 Oh, I'm serious, baby. 489 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,384 I am Yahoo Serious. 490 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,384 I'm Serious FM. 491 00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:48,469 Welcome to the 492 00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:48,469 World Serious of Seriousness. 493 00:11:48,469 --> 00:11:50,179 Sponsored by Honey Nut Seri-os. 494 00:11:50,179 --> 00:11:51,556 Are you stalling right now? 495 00:11:51,556 --> 00:11:54,684 Stalling? 496 00:11:51,556 --> 00:11:54,684 Ha-ha-ha. 497 00:11:54,684 --> 00:11:57,019 Stalling. 498 00:11:54,684 --> 00:11:57,019 No, Annie. 499 00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:58,688 In fact, you're gonna wish 500 00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:58,688 I was stalling. 501 00:11:58,688 --> 00:12:00,690 Oh, I just got it. Thank you. 502 00:11:58,688 --> 00:12:00,690 Oh. 503 00:12:02,817 --> 00:12:04,318 I wanna say 504 00:12:02,817 --> 00:12:04,318 some names to you. 505 00:12:04,318 --> 00:12:05,653 Want some? 506 00:12:05,653 --> 00:12:07,697 Jeffrey Dahmer. 507 00:12:07,697 --> 00:12:10,450 Ted Bundy. 508 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,493 Rich. 509 00:12:12,493 --> 00:12:14,788 What do they have in common? 510 00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:17,749 We don't know them very well. 511 00:12:17,749 --> 00:12:20,460 What do we know about Ben Chang? 512 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:22,629 We know he's nuts. 513 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:22,629 Let him finish. 514 00:12:22,629 --> 00:12:25,715 We know he's dangerous. 515 00:12:22,629 --> 00:12:25,715 Unpredictable. Selfish. 516 00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:28,259 We know he uses his name 517 00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:28,259 to make bad puns. 518 00:12:28,259 --> 00:12:30,511 Guilty as Chang'd. 519 00:12:28,259 --> 00:12:30,511 When he talks, 520 00:12:30,511 --> 00:12:34,140 he over- and under-emphasizes 521 00:12:30,511 --> 00:12:34,140 words at random. 522 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:36,517 When he eats, 523 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:36,517 he holds his fork 524 00:12:36,517 --> 00:12:37,852 like a murderer's knife, 525 00:12:37,852 --> 00:12:40,271 gnawing at 526 00:12:37,852 --> 00:12:40,271 its skewered payload 527 00:12:40,271 --> 00:12:41,980 like a deranged 528 00:12:40,271 --> 00:12:41,980 woodland rodent. 529 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:44,150 Bring it home. 530 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:44,150 He smells like Band-Aids. 531 00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:46,736 We know he dresses 532 00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:46,736 like a Cuban cab driver. 533 00:12:46,736 --> 00:12:48,112 We know he exhibits... 534 00:12:48,112 --> 00:12:50,323 Nay, flaunts, proudly, 535 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:53,033 obvious symptoms 536 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:53,033 of over half a dozen disorders 537 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,662 you wouldn't wish 538 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,662 on your worst enemy's pets. 539 00:12:55,662 --> 00:12:57,037 Feel the heat. 540 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:59,874 We know these things 541 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:59,874 about Ben Chang. 542 00:12:59,874 --> 00:13:03,461 And so much more than we ever 543 00:12:59,874 --> 00:13:03,461 wanted to know about him. 544 00:13:03,461 --> 00:13:05,630 Why? 545 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,298 Because it's there. 546 00:13:07,298 --> 00:13:09,467 It's on the surface. 547 00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:12,386 What you see 548 00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:12,386 may be what you don't want, 549 00:13:12,386 --> 00:13:15,890 but it's also what you get. 550 00:13:17,099 --> 00:13:18,893 Wow. 551 00:13:18,893 --> 00:13:21,771 Who is this kettle corn 552 00:13:18,893 --> 00:13:21,771 popping phantom? 553 00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,481 This human question mark? 554 00:13:23,481 --> 00:13:26,442 This number eight scoop 555 00:13:23,481 --> 00:13:26,442 of vanilla tapioca 556 00:13:26,442 --> 00:13:28,486 with a PhD in Being Swell 557 00:13:28,486 --> 00:13:30,989 and a masters in 558 00:13:28,486 --> 00:13:30,989 Everybody Loves Me? 559 00:13:30,989 --> 00:13:33,324 Who is it? 560 00:13:34,951 --> 00:13:37,035 We may never know. 561 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:42,040 I only know one thing. 562 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,836 Nobody is this good a person. 563 00:13:46,337 --> 00:13:51,049 And nobody 564 00:13:46,337 --> 00:13:51,049 can get any worse than this. 565 00:13:51,049 --> 00:13:53,344 He's horrible. 566 00:13:54,721 --> 00:13:56,472 Now. 567 00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:05,565 Who's voting for Chang? 568 00:14:07,025 --> 00:14:08,943 Who's voting for Rich? 569 00:14:11,487 --> 00:14:13,364 Uh... 570 00:14:11,487 --> 00:14:13,364 Shirley. 571 00:14:13,364 --> 00:14:15,449 Oh, wow. What you gonna do, 572 00:14:13,364 --> 00:14:15,449 baby? 573 00:14:15,449 --> 00:14:17,410 I don't know. 574 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:21,414 Shirley, this is the best 575 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:21,414 kettle corn I've ever had. 576 00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:24,751 If you don't vote for Rich, 577 00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:24,751 I'll shatter your world. 578 00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:27,253 You gonna what? 579 00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:27,253 I'll shatter your world. 580 00:14:27,253 --> 00:14:29,005 I heard you. 581 00:14:27,253 --> 00:14:29,005 I vote for Chang. 582 00:14:29,005 --> 00:14:31,716 Yes, yes. In your face. 583 00:14:29,005 --> 00:14:31,716 Yes. 584 00:14:31,716 --> 00:14:34,594 No. No. 585 00:14:31,716 --> 00:14:34,594 Yes. 586 00:14:34,594 --> 00:14:36,721 Chang and Shirley 587 00:14:34,594 --> 00:14:36,721 had sex on Halloween. 588 00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:38,264 Huh? 589 00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:38,264 What? 590 00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:39,766 What? 591 00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:39,766 What? 592 00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:41,726 You may be pregnant 593 00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:41,726 with his baby. 594 00:14:41,726 --> 00:14:44,604 No, no, no. Mm-mm. 595 00:14:44,604 --> 00:14:45,939 Pierce! 596 00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:47,356 She crossed me. 597 00:14:47,356 --> 00:14:49,483 Is that why 598 00:14:47,356 --> 00:14:49,483 you were interrogating me 599 00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,360 about my sexual activity? 600 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,362 Troy? 601 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,362 Chang left me a voicemail 602 00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:56,407 on Halloween 603 00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:56,407 to say that you two did it. 604 00:14:56,407 --> 00:14:58,325 I could hear you 605 00:14:56,407 --> 00:14:58,325 in the background. 606 00:14:58,325 --> 00:15:01,161 Shirley, 607 00:14:58,325 --> 00:15:01,161 what is he talking about? 608 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,830 I don't remember 609 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,830 that night. 610 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:05,041 Nobody 611 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:05,041 remembers anything. 612 00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:08,502 Oh. Now I understand 613 00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:08,502 these photos. 614 00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:10,504 Do you mind if I forward these 615 00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:10,504 to my brother? 616 00:15:10,504 --> 00:15:13,633 Oh! I want this man 617 00:15:10,504 --> 00:15:13,633 out of here. 618 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:15,593 Well, you just voted him in, 619 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:15,593 so... 620 00:15:15,593 --> 00:15:17,177 What is wrong with you? 621 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,263 Shirley is in crisis. 622 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,263 This isn't silly anymore. 623 00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:20,681 I don't understand. 624 00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:23,225 Just wait, baby. 625 00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:23,225 I don't understand either, 626 00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:25,227 but we can work this out. 627 00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:25,227 We'll figure it out. 628 00:15:29,065 --> 00:15:31,358 Andre, no. 629 00:15:32,944 --> 00:15:36,322 I think that this is 630 00:15:32,944 --> 00:15:36,322 a good time to go. 631 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:38,908 ANNIE & PIERCE: 632 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:38,908 Rich, no. 633 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,622 You finally did it, 634 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,622 Jeff Winger. 635 00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:47,207 You finally hurt this group 636 00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:47,207 in a way that will never heal. 637 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,462 Kettle corn. 638 00:15:58,136 --> 00:16:00,179 There you are. 639 00:16:00,179 --> 00:16:02,473 Can you explain to me 640 00:16:00,179 --> 00:16:02,473 what you've been doing? 641 00:16:02,473 --> 00:16:05,893 Well, Annie, when a man loves 642 00:16:02,473 --> 00:16:05,893 food and beverages very much, 643 00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:07,812 and they pass 644 00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:07,812 through his system... 645 00:16:07,812 --> 00:16:09,438 I'm not in the mood, Jeff. 646 00:16:09,438 --> 00:16:11,482 Explain your behavior 647 00:16:09,438 --> 00:16:11,482 with Rich today. 648 00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:13,526 Sorry not everyone 649 00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:13,526 is as in love 650 00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,903 with Dr. Do-No-Wrong 651 00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,903 as you are. 652 00:16:15,903 --> 00:16:18,072 And don't say it's because 653 00:16:15,903 --> 00:16:18,072 I'm jealous of him. 654 00:16:18,072 --> 00:16:20,116 Oh, come on, Jeff. 655 00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:21,367 I'm sick of this. 656 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,410 One minute, 657 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,410 I'm too young to date, 658 00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:25,621 the next, you're trying 659 00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:25,621 to get rid of guys I like. 660 00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:27,748 Either you want me, or you 661 00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:27,748 don't. What's it gonna be? 662 00:16:27,748 --> 00:16:30,001 I wish I could give you 663 00:16:27,748 --> 00:16:30,001 an answer that makes sense. 664 00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:32,045 Relationships 665 00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:32,045 are complicated. 666 00:16:32,045 --> 00:16:33,587 And we're in 667 00:16:32,045 --> 00:16:33,587 the men's room. 668 00:16:33,587 --> 00:16:35,131 Fine. 669 00:16:35,131 --> 00:16:37,424 Well, I'm gonna ask Rich out. 670 00:16:37,424 --> 00:16:39,385 Nothing complicated 671 00:16:37,424 --> 00:16:39,385 about that. 672 00:16:42,722 --> 00:16:44,264 There you are. 673 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,059 Did I walk into 674 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,059 the wrong bathroom? 675 00:16:46,059 --> 00:16:48,394 You have to find Andre and talk 676 00:16:46,059 --> 00:16:48,394 to him. Shirley is devastated. 677 00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:50,396 Since when do you want him 678 00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:50,396 in her life? 679 00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:53,482 I'm not a fan of the guy, 680 00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:53,482 but I'm a fan of Shirley 681 00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:55,317 and this is what she wants. 682 00:17:03,534 --> 00:17:04,952 There you are. 683 00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:13,044 Mezzanine? 684 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:22,386 Hmm. Nice sweater. 685 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:22,386 Mm. 686 00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:23,763 My dad gave it to me. 687 00:17:25,139 --> 00:17:28,434 So, um... 688 00:17:25,139 --> 00:17:28,434 Look, I'm not mad at Shirley. 689 00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:30,186 You're not? 690 00:17:30,186 --> 00:17:33,064 No, I'm mad at myself. 691 00:17:33,064 --> 00:17:35,108 You know, if I hadn't 692 00:17:33,064 --> 00:17:35,108 left her like I did, 693 00:17:35,108 --> 00:17:37,276 none of this 694 00:17:35,108 --> 00:17:37,276 would've happened. 695 00:17:37,276 --> 00:17:38,986 You ever have something 696 00:17:38,986 --> 00:17:40,404 that you didn't 697 00:17:38,986 --> 00:17:40,404 truly appreciate 698 00:17:40,404 --> 00:17:42,115 until you didn't have it 699 00:17:40,404 --> 00:17:42,115 anymore? 700 00:17:42,115 --> 00:17:45,451 Oh, yeah. Keristina. 701 00:17:45,451 --> 00:17:47,745 Old girlfriend? 702 00:17:45,451 --> 00:17:47,745 Almond facial scrub. 703 00:17:47,745 --> 00:17:49,705 They only make it in Finland. 704 00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:53,417 The old me would have been 705 00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:53,417 long gone by now. 706 00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:55,544 I didn't think 707 00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:55,544 I could ever change 708 00:17:55,544 --> 00:17:58,505 but the love of a good woman 709 00:17:55,544 --> 00:17:58,505 makes anything possible. 710 00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:04,220 Looks like I'm gonna be 711 00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:04,220 a daddy again. 712 00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,888 Yeah, but... 713 00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,888 Hey. 714 00:18:05,888 --> 00:18:08,307 It doesn't matter 715 00:18:05,888 --> 00:18:08,307 who the baby's father is, 716 00:18:08,307 --> 00:18:10,350 I'm in for the long haul. 717 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,061 If it's mine, 718 00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,021 he's gonna be 719 00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,021 a great football player. 720 00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:17,524 And if it's Chang's, 721 00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:17,524 we'll go for golf. 722 00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,203 Hey. 723 00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,203 Hey. 724 00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:33,249 Annie just texted me. 725 00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:33,249 She asked Rich out. 726 00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:37,628 Cool. 727 00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:37,628 He said no. 728 00:18:37,628 --> 00:18:40,006 He said she's great, 729 00:18:37,628 --> 00:18:40,006 but too young. 730 00:19:13,331 --> 00:19:16,750 Don't say anything until 731 00:19:13,331 --> 00:19:16,750 I've said what I gotta say. 732 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,045 I've known you 733 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,045 for almost two years now, 734 00:19:19,045 --> 00:19:22,923 and I've never taken you 735 00:19:19,045 --> 00:19:22,923 as seriously as I should have. 736 00:19:22,923 --> 00:19:26,426 You are the strangest, 737 00:19:22,923 --> 00:19:26,426 coolest, 738 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,805 most genuine person 739 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,805 I've ever met, 740 00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:33,100 and the thing 741 00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:33,100 that scares me about you 742 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,269 is how good 743 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,269 you make me wish I was. 744 00:19:37,146 --> 00:19:38,689 Help me, Rich. 745 00:19:38,689 --> 00:19:40,107 Help me become like you. 746 00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:47,573 I mean, 747 00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:47,573 I am so amazing, 748 00:19:47,573 --> 00:19:50,951 but I'm not perfect. 749 00:19:50,951 --> 00:19:53,495 You are. 750 00:19:53,495 --> 00:19:56,415 Give me that power 751 00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:57,875 so I can abuse it. 752 00:19:57,875 --> 00:20:01,962 Heh. Jeff, 753 00:19:57,875 --> 00:20:01,962 you are one funny bunny. 754 00:20:01,962 --> 00:20:03,672 You can't just fake 755 00:20:01,962 --> 00:20:03,672 being good 756 00:20:03,672 --> 00:20:05,465 in order to get away 757 00:20:03,672 --> 00:20:05,465 with doing bad things. 758 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,093 I completely understand. 759 00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:11,597 And do you understand 760 00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:11,597 that I still have to try? 761 00:20:11,597 --> 00:20:16,518 And if you don't help me, 762 00:20:11,597 --> 00:20:16,518 you're a bad person. 763 00:20:17,728 --> 00:20:19,563 You got me there, guy. 764 00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,775 Come on in and dry off. 765 00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:25,278 Oh. Smells delicious. 766 00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:25,278 Are you baking? 767 00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:27,405 Yeah, muffin tops. 768 00:20:30,366 --> 00:20:31,700 Today we'll show you 769 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,535 how to make kettle corn 770 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,535 with Dr. Rich. 771 00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:35,913 How do I get 772 00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:35,913 one of those giant spoons? 773 00:20:35,913 --> 00:20:38,124 Well, actually, 774 00:20:35,913 --> 00:20:38,124 I carved this one myself 775 00:20:38,124 --> 00:20:40,793 after lighting struck 776 00:20:38,124 --> 00:20:40,793 an oak tree in my backyard. 777 00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:43,129 And then, I made my nephew 778 00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:43,129 a rocking horse. 779 00:20:43,129 --> 00:20:45,298 That's adorable. 780 00:20:43,129 --> 00:20:45,298 Nice. Smells heavenly. 781 00:20:45,298 --> 00:20:47,383 What sets your kettle corn 782 00:20:45,298 --> 00:20:47,383 apart? 783 00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:48,926 Well, it's a secret ingredient, 784 00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:50,552 a couple extra pinches 785 00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:50,552 of love. 786 00:20:50,552 --> 00:20:52,596 Oh. You can't beat that. 787 00:20:50,552 --> 00:20:52,596 That feels good. 788 00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,098 Not this again. 789 00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:56,600 Rich, you know they're doing 790 00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:56,600 a fake morning show. 791 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,478 There are no cameras. 792 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,478 I know. 793 00:20:59,478 --> 00:21:01,480 It's just a fun way 794 00:20:59,478 --> 00:21:01,480 to start the day. 795 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,150 So grab a paddle, partner, 796 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,150 and hop on in here. 797 00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:05,859 You know what, 798 00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:05,859 that does sound... 799 00:21:05,859 --> 00:21:07,903 Yeah.