I can't believe
this is our 20th
and final anthropology
diorama of the year.
I can't believe our assignment
is making a diorama
of us making
our 19th diorama.
That's kind of weird.
Oh, come on.
My forehead is not this big.
Troy, can you pass me
that paintbrush?
My monkey!
My monkey
took that paintbrush
and went into that vent.
Oh, I miss him so much.
Someone's got to go after him.
I got this.
What are you doing?
Trust me.
I know these vents
like the back of my Chang.
Holy...
Is that a new stereotype?
Oh, my God.
Did you find him?
Is that a new
stereotype?
No, and no.
But there's
all kinds of stuff in here.
Guys, you won't believe this.
Ooh. It's like a sentimental
treasure pile.
Oh, that's my spoon.
No!
Oh, Hubba Bubba.
Cool.
I thought
they stopped making this.
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
And that's all of it.
Good. That means you can
put your clothes back on.
Uh-uh.
I'm going back in.
Why?
Monkey took my spoon.
It's like a reverse cow birth.
Annie, look!
All of your purple pens
are here.
Do you remember
when you got so mad
because you thought
someone was stealing them?
There are so many memories
in this pile.
Look.
Whoa. The deputy's badge
from when we spent that day
in that old ghost town.
Oh, yeah.
We have to find
the saloon.
Every building
is a saloon.
We gotta go!
Get the tarnation back here,
you city-slicking sons of...
That was one of the best days
of the whole year,
and I almost totally
forgot about it.
We almost totally
got shot.
Yeah, but by a prospector
in red long underwear.
How cool was that?
Glad you had fun.
By the way,
that dude was hard-core racist,
like 1800s Disney-style.
We learned new ways
to hate ourselves.
Hey, glee club trophy.
You guys remember when we had
to fill in for glee club?
[BOTH HUMMING
UPBEAT MELODY]
Guys, that's not
a fond memory.
We won, like, 70 awards.
Yeah, but the reason
we had to fill in for glee club
was because they...
died.
Their bus crashed.
I know, but I was
remembering around that part.
Yeah, focus on the positives,
like we got that
cool new bus driver.
Nice try, Britta,
but it's been a dark year.
Pierce got
hooked on painkillers.
Shirley's having
an unplanned baby.
And apparently,
Chang is in the group?
It's true.
God hates us.
Remember when Abed had a total
mental breakdown at Christmas?
That was adorable
and magical.
He thought
everything was claymation.
Yeah.
But everything wasn't.
And what do you see now,
Abed?
A candy cane forest.
We're all running through
the candy cane forest.
Oh, careful,
don't trip on a gumdrop.
Oh, no, I tripped!
On a gumdrop!
Yay.
Let's find Santa some more.
Well, I think this year
was awesome.
Full of good times
with great people.
Come on, you guys.
Stop focusing on all the
bad stuff and dig deep.
Abed, you're a computer.
Scan your mainframe
for some juicy memories.
Jeff and Britta
are having secret sex.
Exhibit A, the one thing
I do remember from Halloween.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
Hi.
You need some help in there?
Yeah, well,
I can't use my hands
in this costume, so...
Well, uh...
Exhibit B.
Something I overheard
during Christmas.
Why would I want to be in
a school that hates Christmas?
He's got a point. Kidding.
What are you doing later?
How about some holiday benefits?
Hey.
Ixnay in front of Uncan-day.
Hm.
Finally, exhibit C,
the curious circumstances
following
the exciting conclusion
of our St. Patrick's Day
adventure.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh!
Abed!
Uh... Uh, uh...
A leprechaun took our clothes.
And you can never
tell anyone, okay?
Okay, so we hooked up
a few times,
but there's a much larger
issue here.
We are friends
with a grown man
that clearly believes
in leprechauns.
Didn't we decide
at the beginning of the year
that for the good
of the group
we wouldn't allow
any intimacy
between each other
or ourselves?
Troy,
we never said ourselves.
Okay, now I'm really mad.
So am I.
Now we know why
our year's been so horrible.
It's not God that hates us.
It's Jeff and Britta.
Oh, please.
If we were ruining your year,
why didn't you
even know about it?
Maybe we were so distracted
by all the other times
you two put yourselves
before the group.
What? When have we ever
put ourselves before the group?
You want examples?
I think they want some examples.
Okay, let's give them
some examples.
Troy, drop a beat.
Just give them some examples.
Fine.
Chipmunk.
Mm. Impressive, Mr. Winger.
Someone's going to regionals.
It's a special cape.
A cape for justice.
What are you doing?
There's rioting
in Tunisia!
The Cape
is premiering.
Humanity is premiering,
you jags.
We need to talk.
These people are giving out
free iPhones!
What?
No, no.
No!
This habitat
was for humanity.
Whoever did it,
step forward.
You five are in big trouble.
Jeff and Britta,
you're free to go.
Because you didn't
step forward,
and are therefore innocent.
You can't ignore the facts.
You two are ruining
this group.
Just because we're good-looking
doesn't make us villains.
Yeah. Are you sure you guys
have the group's
best interests at heart?
Feast your ear tongues
on these memory pops.
Pierce,
you've had three flu shots.
That's for
the day-care center.
I'll be a living god!
I'm glad you're considering
the exciting opportunity
of selling Lady Miss Lady
cosmetics.
Please,
open your starter kits.
Okay, now that the seals
have been broken,
you each owe me $50.
I'm Jeff Winger.
Does this hard-boiled egg
make me look fat?
My name is Jeff Winger.
I love working this BlackBerry
because it tones my thumbs.
It was a particularly
small egg.
That's why I was asking.
You can yell at me all you want.
I've seen enough movies
to know that popping the back
of a raft makes it go faster.
Show's gonna last
three weeks!
Six seasons and a movie!
Pierce, you can't sneak up on me
like that.
When I'm startled,
my training takes over.
Hello!
Those are just stories
about us being cute.
You guys go out of your way
to endanger the fabric
of this group.
Yeah, leave our fabric alone.
You guys aren't seeing
the bigger picture.
We compartmentalized our libidos
for the good of the group.
Oh, you compartmentalized,
did you?
Then what's been going on
with us all year?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking
about the Annie of it all.
The long looks,
the stolen glances.
The general atmosphere of
"Would they, might they?"
Annie, I think you're
reading into some things.
Oh, really?
[SARA BAREILLES'
"GRAVITY" PLAYS]
Oh, give me a break.
I mean,
you could do the same thing
with Pierce and Abed.
[SARA BAREILLES'
"GRAVITY" PLAYS]
Yeah, let's be honest, there's
more between you and Annie
than between me and Pierce.
How dare you?
Abed, it's called chemistry.
I have it with everybody.
Everybody? I haven't felt any
of that chemistry coming my way.
I don't know if you're racist
or I intimidate you sexually,
but I know
it's one of those two.
Dean-a-ling-a-ling.
I was heading to judge
our belated carnival
when I heard you guys
having a tiff.
What's the rumpus?
We were debating
how many times per year
a man can drop
in a study room
in a dumb costume
with irrelevant news.
Dean-yow!
It's Feline Aids
Awareness day, folks,
so let's whip it
in the keister.
Guys, Greendale's music
department is flat "baroque,"
so we are having
a fundraiser.
Why, it's time to Tina "Turner"
the clocks ahead.
Happy daylight savings!
Deanie, vidi, vici!
I came, I saw,
I conquered
the idea of a free
Caesar-salad bar
in the cafeteria.
Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a dean.
That's right.
Greendale presents
"Gone With the Windows,"
where we'll celebrate
our new energy-conscious windows
with a cotillion.
Oop.
Okay.
Well, I guess
we don't see our patterns
until they're all laid out
in front of us.
Thank you for being
so nice about it.
Oh, dean. Dean.
Can we please stop fighting?
We're starting to hurt
innocent perverts.
I don't want to stop.
We're airing
out this dirty laundry.
After that,
we'll stop fighting forever.
Am I the only one that remembers
our horrible camping trip?
"Some-mores," not "s'mores."
No, you're saying it wrong.
I just found out about it.
It's pronounced "s'mores."
Yeah, it's a contraction
of "some mores."
So contract it.
Stop saying "some-mores"
unless you "can not."
Guys!
We need to stop fighting.
No, we don't.
It's good
that we're getting
all this out there.
After this,
we'll stop fighting.
That's what we said when we were
painting Shirley's nursery.
I was talking about the paint.
You were being racist.
When I'm being racist,
you'll know.
Guys. Guys. Guys!
Let's not repeat
events of Caesar Salad Day.
We need more people like
Ralph Nader in this country!
He was promoting
automotive safety!
Troy, your nose is bleeding.
Abed, stop being meta.
Why do you always
take whatever happens
and shove it up its own ass?
He's not being meta.
He's pointing out
what none of us acknowledge.
It's all of us.
This group is toxic.
We fight about fighting
about fighting.
We're sick.
I hate us!
Well, what do we do now?
We could do
what we always do.
Storm out in a huff and say
that the group is breaking up.
Troy, pass me
that paintbrush, please.
Does anybody have any iodine?
How many vents are you gonna
crawl out of this year?
That's it. We're done.
Yeah. Done.
See you all tomorrow.
You guys, wait.
I wanna say something.
You don't have to save us with
a speech. We're not breaking up.
So we don't need
to get back together.
I know I don't have to,
but I want to.
Look, we've known each other
for almost two years now.
And, yeah, in that time,
I've given a lot of speeches,
but they all have
one thing in common.
They're all different.
These drug runners
aren't gonna execute Pierce
because he's racist.
It's a locomotive
that runs on us.
And the only sharks
in that water...
Are the emotional ghosts
that I like to call fear.
Anchovies.
Fear.
And the dangers
of ingesting mercury. Ah!
Because the real bugs
aren't the ones in those beds.
And there's no such thing
as a free Caesar salad.
And even if there were...
The Cape still might find
a second life on cable.
And I'll tell you why.
That water is a lie!
Harrison Ford
is irradiating our testicles
with microwave
satellite transmissions!
So maybe we are caught
in an endless cycle of screw-ups
and hurt feelings,
but I choose to believe
it's just the universe's way
of molding us
into some kind of super group.
Like the Traveling Wilburys.
Yes, Troy.
Like the Traveling Wilburys
of pain,
prepared for any insane
adventure life throws our way.
I don't know about you,
but I'm looking forward
to every one of them.
Oh, Jeffrey.
Oh, Jeff.
Jeffrey, Jeffrey.
Well, I guess
we can get through anything.
So it's probably okay
if you and Britta
want to keep, you know,
hooking up.
I don't mind so much.
I'm cool with it.
God cares.
Have fun tonight.
So...
guess we don't have to keep
sneaking around anymore.
Yeah, I guess not.
Wanna stop doing this? Yeah.
It's not you, it's me.
It's you.
Hey, guys.
Hey, you guys
remember the time when...?
Those guys don't care
who they hurt, do they?
You know, I still don't even
know if I'm in the group.
[SARA BAREILLES'
"GRAVITY" PLAYS]
Hey, you and I have had
some pretty good times, huh?
Ow! Ow!
Aah! Ow!
Ow! Ow!
What a year.
Ow! Ow! Aah!
Aah! Ow! Ow!
Hey, everybody.
Can I help you with anything?
I care about you guys.
Shut up, dean.
You dress in stupid outfits.
Well, you have a right to your
opinion, so I'll just leave.
You could have been nicer
to the dean, Jeff.
So what? I don't care.
I just think there maybe
could be repercussions, yo.
I don't care what you think.
I don't care
about repercussions.
I don't care about the dean.
Okay.
Meanwhile, at that same moment,
a truck full of toxic waste
crashes and spills on the dean,
transforming him into
Mega-Dean!
I don't care about anything.
Wait. I care now!
Now I care!
Too late.
[BONES CRUNCHING,
JEFF SCREAMING]
I owe you guys
an apology.
The dean runs our school.
He's entitled
to a modicum of respect.
You're always so mean to him.
Why?
It's embarrassing to admit,
but sometimes I felt jealous
of his interesting outfits.
Jeffrey,
if I didn't know better,
I'd say you had
a crush on him.
I'll never tell!