1 00:00:01,174 --> 00:00:03,635 And that's how 2 00:00:01,174 --> 00:00:03,635 Paleolithic hunting tribes 3 00:00:03,635 --> 00:00:06,137 overtook early 4 00:00:03,635 --> 00:00:06,137 agricultural civilizations. 5 00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:09,058 Oh. That's an interesting 6 00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:09,058 answer, Miss Edison. 7 00:00:09,058 --> 00:00:11,643 Is it right? 8 00:00:09,058 --> 00:00:11,643 Don't know, don't care. 9 00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,395 But so far, 10 00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,395 you're all getting A's. 11 00:00:13,395 --> 00:00:16,147 Yes! 12 00:00:13,395 --> 00:00:16,147 You're welcome. 13 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:18,067 Are you sure everyone 14 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:18,067 should get A's? 15 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:20,736 It seems unfair to the people 16 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:20,736 that actually studied. 17 00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:24,155 Throw paper balls at her head 18 00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:24,155 until she sits down. 19 00:00:25,866 --> 00:00:27,618 Sitting. I'm sitting. 20 00:00:25,866 --> 00:00:27,618 Good. 21 00:00:27,618 --> 00:00:31,080 Very good. 22 00:00:27,618 --> 00:00:31,080 A-pluses for all of you. 23 00:00:32,873 --> 00:00:35,333 Professor Duncan, 24 00:00:32,873 --> 00:00:35,333 you are such a great teacher 25 00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,585 when you're drinking. 26 00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:38,545 Thank you, Darrell. 27 00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:38,545 It's Troy. 28 00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:42,215 Hey, it the man wants to give 29 00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:42,215 Darrell an A, let him do it. 30 00:00:42,215 --> 00:00:46,219 Nice shot. 31 00:00:42,215 --> 00:00:46,219 Oh, thanks. 32 00:00:46,219 --> 00:00:48,889 A toast 33 00:00:46,219 --> 00:00:48,889 to the easiest school, 34 00:00:48,889 --> 00:00:51,140 the dumbest dean... 35 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:55,186 And the ultimate 36 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:55,186 blow-off class: anthropology. 37 00:00:55,186 --> 00:00:56,396 Who knew? 38 00:00:56,396 --> 00:00:58,816 Cheers. 39 00:00:56,396 --> 00:00:58,816 Yeah. 40 00:00:58,816 --> 00:01:00,734 Hey, Shirley. 41 00:00:58,816 --> 00:01:00,734 Hm? 42 00:01:00,734 --> 00:01:01,944 You're not drinking. 43 00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:03,194 Someone is cruising 44 00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:03,194 for an A-minus. 45 00:01:03,194 --> 00:01:05,114 Oh, no, no, 46 00:01:03,194 --> 00:01:05,114 I'm with child. 47 00:01:05,114 --> 00:01:07,825 If it's my child, it's okay 48 00:01:05,114 --> 00:01:07,825 to have a drink or two. 49 00:01:07,825 --> 00:01:10,243 Chang babies love the sauce, 50 00:01:07,825 --> 00:01:10,243 you know? 51 00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:13,038 Alcohol and duck. 52 00:01:14,331 --> 00:01:17,208 Zoink. 53 00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:20,629 This is not your child, 54 00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:20,629 Chang. It's Andre's. 55 00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:23,132 How do you know? 56 00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:23,132 Because I don't see any locusts. 57 00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,425 Besides, a woman knows 58 00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,425 these things. 59 00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,260 Women have a connectedness 60 00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,260 to their bodies 61 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,138 that you would 62 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,138 never understand. 63 00:01:29,138 --> 00:01:31,264 You have a booger. 64 00:01:31,264 --> 00:01:33,017 I know, 65 00:01:31,264 --> 00:01:33,017 it's part of me. 66 00:01:33,017 --> 00:01:34,977 Hey, can we please do the exam? 67 00:01:34,977 --> 00:01:37,062 Question number two: 68 00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:39,272 How awesome is it 69 00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:39,272 that this class is fake? 70 00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:41,274 Yeah. 71 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:43,902 Here is to never 72 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:43,902 telling the dean. 73 00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:46,071 Yeah. 74 00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:46,071 Cheers. 75 00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:47,781 Hi. 76 00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:54,204 And that is what Jews 77 00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:54,204 do at weddings. 78 00:01:54,204 --> 00:01:57,124 Anthropology. 79 00:01:54,204 --> 00:01:57,124 L'Chaim! 80 00:01:57,124 --> 00:01:58,583 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" 81 00:01:57,124 --> 00:01:58,583 PLAYING] 82 00:02:23,692 --> 00:02:27,946 Professor Duncan, class, 83 00:02:23,692 --> 00:02:27,946 this is Mr. Jacobson. 84 00:02:27,946 --> 00:02:32,492 He's a writer who's doing 85 00:02:27,946 --> 00:02:32,492 a piece on me for Dean Magazine. 86 00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:33,827 Ah! 87 00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:35,620 I know, right? 88 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,830 Keep taking your exam. 89 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,874 Don't let my presence 90 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,874 distract you. 91 00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:41,710 I'm sort of a father figure 92 00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:41,710 to the kids around here 93 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,796 for my outside-the-box 94 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,796 approach to education. 95 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:48,008 You know, like that film, 96 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:48,008 Children of the Corn. 97 00:02:48,008 --> 00:02:51,095 Uh, professor. 98 00:02:48,008 --> 00:02:51,095 What? 99 00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:53,764 Proceed. 100 00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:53,764 Yes. 101 00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:58,936 The anthropology final. 102 00:02:58,936 --> 00:03:00,729 Do you know what? 103 00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:03,356 I have left the exam paper 104 00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:03,356 in my office, 105 00:03:03,356 --> 00:03:05,192 but it is a real doozy. 106 00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:09,654 There is an interactive element, 107 00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:09,654 a performance component, 108 00:03:09,654 --> 00:03:11,406 and I don't wanna tip it, 109 00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:16,203 but there may be a lump of clay 110 00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:16,203 coming to everyone in the room. 111 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:18,872 So toodle-loo. Cheerio. 112 00:03:18,872 --> 00:03:22,542 Wowee. 113 00:03:18,872 --> 00:03:22,542 This is a real college. 114 00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:26,797 So after this, we should check 115 00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:26,797 out the World Food Festival 116 00:03:26,797 --> 00:03:27,798 in the parking lot. 117 00:03:27,798 --> 00:03:29,549 No way. 118 00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:33,262 There are lunch trucks with 18 119 00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:33,262 different nationalities of food. 120 00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:35,222 You know what? 121 00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:35,222 Not different, equal. 122 00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:38,976 Equal to whites. You know what? 123 00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:38,976 Better than whites. 124 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:41,270 I think that sounds 125 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:41,270 like an awesome thing 126 00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:42,813 to do immediately. 127 00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:46,150 I bet the reader of 128 00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:46,150 Dean Magazine would love it. 129 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:47,734 Yeah. 130 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:47,734 Mm. 131 00:03:47,734 --> 00:03:49,861 I'm good. 132 00:03:47,734 --> 00:03:49,861 I'd like to stay here 133 00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:51,780 and check out 134 00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:51,780 this unorthodox exam. 135 00:03:53,531 --> 00:03:55,200 Oh... 136 00:03:53,531 --> 00:03:55,200 Shirley, you okay? 137 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,452 Uh-huh. 138 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,452 Just a little indigestion. 139 00:03:57,452 --> 00:03:59,163 I've been having it 140 00:03:57,452 --> 00:03:59,163 all morning. 141 00:03:59,163 --> 00:04:01,039 Are you sure 142 00:03:59,163 --> 00:04:01,039 it isn't a contraction? 143 00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:03,750 No, no. It's way 144 00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:03,750 too early for any of that. 145 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,376 My other two 146 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,376 came right on schedule. 147 00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,004 Maybe even a little late. 148 00:04:07,004 --> 00:04:08,297 Jordan was in here so long, 149 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,756 he came out 150 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,756 with a driver's license. 151 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:13,802 I'm kidding. 152 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:13,802 That's not true. Ooh. 153 00:04:13,802 --> 00:04:15,679 Chang babies 154 00:04:13,802 --> 00:04:15,679 are always premature. 155 00:04:15,679 --> 00:04:17,973 We gestate fast because we're 156 00:04:15,679 --> 00:04:17,973 better at obtaining nutrients. 157 00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,516 Some need only 158 00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,516 eight months, 159 00:04:19,516 --> 00:04:23,187 depending on how much 160 00:04:19,516 --> 00:04:23,187 of the mother they eat. 161 00:04:23,187 --> 00:04:25,480 Oh... Uh... 162 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,150 Shirley, that is 163 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,150 full of chemicals. 164 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:29,985 I wouldn't expose 165 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:29,985 your baby to that. 166 00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:32,654 Actually, my doctor said 167 00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:32,654 antacid is safe to take. 168 00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:35,782 Let me guess who paid 169 00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:35,782 for that study: big antacid? 170 00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:37,868 Shirley, chew on 171 00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:37,868 a eucalyptus root 172 00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:40,871 and, I know it sounds 173 00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:40,871 gross, pig saliva. 174 00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:43,373 It's the same active 175 00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:43,373 ingredient as antacid. 176 00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:45,250 They dress it up 177 00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:45,250 with a fancy name. 178 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,627 How dare they? 179 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,627 Wanna see a movie today? 180 00:04:47,627 --> 00:04:49,338 Word. 181 00:04:47,627 --> 00:04:49,338 Cool. 182 00:04:49,338 --> 00:04:51,631 Hey, guys, 183 00:04:49,338 --> 00:04:51,631 why do you do that? 184 00:04:51,631 --> 00:04:53,550 Do what? 185 00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:57,679 It's cool. 186 00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:57,679 How? 187 00:04:57,679 --> 00:04:59,514 I don't know. 188 00:04:57,679 --> 00:04:59,514 It just is. 189 00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:02,684 Well, let me in. 190 00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:02,684 Let me in to the handshake. 191 00:05:02,684 --> 00:05:04,394 I'll give you $1000. 192 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,440 Indecent Proposal. 193 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,440 Indecent Proposal. 194 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,193 Woody. 195 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,193 Demi. 196 00:05:11,193 --> 00:05:12,236 Nice. 197 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,792 You two 198 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,792 gonna fall in love? 199 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:31,713 No. I don't know. Tsh. 200 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:31,713 No. 201 00:05:34,258 --> 00:05:37,719 So have you considered 202 00:05:34,258 --> 00:05:37,719 natural childbirth? 203 00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,846 Are you kidding me? 204 00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,846 I'll take whatever they got. 205 00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:41,598 Epidural is a proper 206 00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:41,598 Christian woman's 207 00:05:41,598 --> 00:05:42,807 only chance to get wrecked. 208 00:05:42,807 --> 00:05:44,559 From what I'm told, 209 00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:47,520 the real high is the endorphin 210 00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:47,520 rush of a chemical-free birth. 211 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,022 I read an article 212 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,022 that said 213 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:51,066 some women can 214 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:51,066 actually achieve or... 215 00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:52,234 Uh, uh... No, no, no. 216 00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:53,610 Thank you 217 00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:53,610 for the conversation. 218 00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:55,528 I know 219 00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:55,528 what you're talking about. 220 00:05:55,528 --> 00:05:58,198 That's not something a woman 221 00:05:55,528 --> 00:05:58,198 does on her child's head. 222 00:05:58,198 --> 00:06:00,449 But... 223 00:05:58,198 --> 00:06:00,449 Listen, backseat birther, 224 00:06:00,449 --> 00:06:02,369 Shirley's 225 00:06:00,449 --> 00:06:02,369 on her third kid. 226 00:06:02,369 --> 00:06:04,996 She doesn't need a slacker 227 00:06:02,369 --> 00:06:04,996 with two one-eyed cats 228 00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:06,581 governing her body. 229 00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:08,875 First of all, together, 230 00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:08,875 my cats can do anything. 231 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:10,543 Secondly, 232 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:10,543 you're disqualified 233 00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:12,170 from this conversation 234 00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:12,170 the moment 235 00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:14,423 you decided to grow a wang. 236 00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:14,423 I regret nothing. 237 00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:17,550 I feel sorry for the airhead 238 00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:17,550 you're gonna knock up at 70. 239 00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:19,261 You're gonna be sitting 240 00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:19,261 in the waiting room 241 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:22,847 playing solitaire while a life 242 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:22,847 is created 10 feet from you. 243 00:06:22,847 --> 00:06:26,517 Oh, and you're gonna squat 244 00:06:22,847 --> 00:06:26,517 in a babbling brook 245 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,395 and a beautiful star child 246 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,395 is gonna slide out 247 00:06:28,395 --> 00:06:30,147 on a ray of sunshine 248 00:06:30,147 --> 00:06:33,275 while your cats each half watch, 249 00:06:30,147 --> 00:06:33,275 because you're so natural. 250 00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:37,070 Okay. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, boy. 251 00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:40,324 Can someone please get 252 00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:40,324 every mop on campus? 253 00:06:40,324 --> 00:06:43,576 Um... Did you break water? 254 00:06:40,324 --> 00:06:43,576 Is that broken water? 255 00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:44,786 That's broken water! 256 00:06:44,786 --> 00:06:46,495 Chang baby! 257 00:06:48,539 --> 00:06:50,875 Just nice and easy. Careful. 258 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:53,878 Oh, Father, God Almighty, 259 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:53,878 this isn't happening. 260 00:06:53,878 --> 00:06:55,672 It's too soon. 261 00:06:55,672 --> 00:06:57,924 I don't want my baby's first 262 00:06:55,672 --> 00:06:57,924 memory to be Star-Burns. 263 00:06:57,924 --> 00:07:00,385 Oh, goodness. Okay, 264 00:06:57,924 --> 00:07:00,385 this is not a big deal. 265 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,346 Wait, I mean, 266 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,346 it is a big deal. 267 00:07:02,346 --> 00:07:05,265 It's just not a big bad deal, 268 00:07:02,346 --> 00:07:05,265 it's a big good deal. 269 00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:06,724 If I could have 270 00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:06,724 everyone's attention... 271 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:09,102 We'd like not to have 272 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:09,102 your attention. 273 00:07:09,102 --> 00:07:12,397 Okay, give me your attention. 274 00:07:09,102 --> 00:07:12,397 This student is having a baby. 275 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:14,232 What am I talking about? 276 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:14,232 You already know. 277 00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:15,984 Okay, here's what it is. 278 00:07:15,984 --> 00:07:18,778 I'm gonna go get my Prius, 279 00:07:15,984 --> 00:07:18,778 I'm gonna pull around the back 280 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:20,280 and I'm gonna drive her 281 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:20,280 to the hospital. 282 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,158 I drive a Prius, 283 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,158 which is pretty cool. 284 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:25,494 Dean, go! 285 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:25,494 Dean gone. 286 00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:28,705 Can you please call Andre? 287 00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:28,705 He's "Sugar Boots" in my phone. 288 00:07:28,705 --> 00:07:30,123 That hurts, Shirley. 289 00:07:30,123 --> 00:07:32,709 Oh, I'll get it, 290 00:07:30,123 --> 00:07:32,709 because I am here for you. 291 00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:34,669 We came so close 292 00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:36,796 to having one class 293 00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:36,796 that wasn't all about them. 294 00:07:36,796 --> 00:07:39,799 Remember when they took 295 00:07:36,796 --> 00:07:39,799 that trip on St. Patrick's Day? 296 00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:41,176 God, that was 297 00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:41,176 a good week. 298 00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:43,303 This has got to be 299 00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:43,303 a Chang baby. 300 00:07:43,303 --> 00:07:44,888 Changs are never 301 00:07:43,303 --> 00:07:44,888 born in hospitals. 302 00:07:44,888 --> 00:07:47,974 More like taxicabs, 303 00:07:44,888 --> 00:07:47,974 hardware stores, 304 00:07:47,974 --> 00:07:49,267 bank lines, sewers. 305 00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,311 My nephew Jin 306 00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,311 was born on a treadmill 307 00:07:51,311 --> 00:07:52,729 at Bally Total Fitness. 308 00:07:52,729 --> 00:07:54,523 Twenty-percent incline. 309 00:07:54,523 --> 00:07:57,025 Sugar Boots says 310 00:07:54,523 --> 00:07:57,025 he'll meet us at the hospital. 311 00:07:57,025 --> 00:08:00,195 Now, can somebody do 312 00:07:57,025 --> 00:08:00,195 something about him? 313 00:08:00,195 --> 00:08:02,030 I'm saying, nobody 314 00:08:00,195 --> 00:08:02,030 needs to freak out. 315 00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,823 A Chang is hearty 316 00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,823 to the core. 317 00:08:03,823 --> 00:08:05,200 We come out healthy. 318 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,535 That's why there's 319 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,535 a billion of us. 320 00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,495 Ever try Googling me? 321 00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,495 Can't be done. 322 00:08:08,495 --> 00:08:10,830 Ben, you have to stop 323 00:08:08,495 --> 00:08:10,830 freaking her out. 324 00:08:10,830 --> 00:08:12,249 Hey, show me some respect. 325 00:08:12,249 --> 00:08:14,751 I might be that child's 326 00:08:12,249 --> 00:08:14,751 estranged father. 327 00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:16,503 Well, what's it 328 00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:16,503 gonna be? 329 00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:18,213 What? 330 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:20,924 I wanna buy the rights to your 331 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:20,924 handshake. We have a deal? 332 00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:22,800 We're about to take 333 00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:22,800 Shirley to the hospital. 334 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,302 This is not the time. 335 00:08:24,302 --> 00:08:25,845 Oh, it's the time. 336 00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:28,765 According to my watch, 337 00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:28,765 it's 1000 o'clock. 338 00:08:28,765 --> 00:08:30,392 TROY & ABED: Deal. 339 00:08:28,765 --> 00:08:30,392 Great. 340 00:08:32,936 --> 00:08:34,104 So how does it work? 341 00:08:34,104 --> 00:08:35,355 I don't know, 342 00:08:34,104 --> 00:08:35,355 we just do it 343 00:08:35,355 --> 00:08:37,566 when one of us says 344 00:08:35,355 --> 00:08:37,566 something awesome. 345 00:08:37,566 --> 00:08:38,983 All right. 346 00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:40,818 Betty Grable. 347 00:08:42,862 --> 00:08:45,240 I said, "Betty Grable." 348 00:08:56,126 --> 00:09:00,422 No. 349 00:08:56,126 --> 00:09:00,422 Yes. 350 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:03,300 No. 351 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:03,300 Do it. 352 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,801 Make your money, whore. 353 00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,685 Who's Betty Grable? 354 00:09:14,685 --> 00:09:16,146 Yeah, that's the stuff. 355 00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:20,984 Try to take deep breaths 356 00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:20,984 and relax. 357 00:09:20,984 --> 00:09:22,569 Where is the dean? 358 00:09:22,569 --> 00:09:24,737 Oh, my God, 359 00:09:22,569 --> 00:09:24,737 everything's wet. 360 00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,739 Ugh. Oh, That's okay. 361 00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,739 Ooh. 362 00:09:26,739 --> 00:09:28,575 That's okay 363 00:09:26,739 --> 00:09:28,575 because it is natural. 364 00:09:28,575 --> 00:09:30,243 It's natural. 365 00:09:30,243 --> 00:09:32,412 Are you uncomfortable, 366 00:09:30,243 --> 00:09:32,412 Britta? 367 00:09:32,412 --> 00:09:34,498 You wish. 368 00:09:32,412 --> 00:09:34,498 Ooh! 369 00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,626 Okay. 370 00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,626 Four hundred, 500. 371 00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:39,877 It's like a million bucks 372 00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:39,877 in dog dollars. 373 00:09:39,877 --> 00:09:41,588 Word. 374 00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:45,467 What happened? 375 00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:45,467 Something's off. 376 00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:50,347 It's like buying 377 00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:50,347 candy from a baby. 378 00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:53,475 What did you do? 379 00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:53,475 You ruined it. 380 00:09:53,475 --> 00:09:54,934 Give him back the money. 381 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:57,479 No, no, no, the money 382 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:57,479 doesn't matter anymore. 383 00:09:57,479 --> 00:10:00,357 Once you've sold something out, 384 00:09:57,479 --> 00:10:00,357 you can't get it back. 385 00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:01,732 You didn't even like 386 00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:01,732 our handshake. 387 00:10:01,732 --> 00:10:03,652 I hated it. 388 00:10:01,732 --> 00:10:03,652 Now it's gone. 389 00:10:03,652 --> 00:10:06,737 You two are dumber 390 00:10:03,652 --> 00:10:06,737 than Jackie Coogan. 391 00:10:06,737 --> 00:10:10,325 He divorced Betty Grable. 392 00:10:13,036 --> 00:10:16,080 Pierce tainted our special 393 00:10:13,036 --> 00:10:16,080 handshake with his blood money. 394 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,041 Now we can't 395 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,041 get the magic back. 396 00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:20,751 Holy crap, you two, for real? 397 00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:20,751 Yeah. 398 00:10:20,751 --> 00:10:22,712 Nobody cares about 399 00:10:20,751 --> 00:10:22,712 your handshake. 400 00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:25,674 A baby is coming out of 401 00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:25,674 Shirley's vagina 2 feet from us. 402 00:10:25,674 --> 00:10:27,842 Her contractions are 403 00:10:25,674 --> 00:10:27,842 six minutes apart. 404 00:10:27,842 --> 00:10:29,802 So unless her cervix is 405 00:10:27,842 --> 00:10:29,802 dilated more than 8 centimeters, 406 00:10:29,802 --> 00:10:31,221 we have time to get her 407 00:10:29,802 --> 00:10:31,221 to a hospital. 408 00:10:34,098 --> 00:10:37,018 I delivered a baby 409 00:10:34,098 --> 00:10:37,018 earlier this year. 410 00:10:37,018 --> 00:10:38,436 Where was I 411 00:10:37,018 --> 00:10:38,436 when that happened? 412 00:10:38,436 --> 00:10:40,104 I don't know, 413 00:10:38,436 --> 00:10:40,104 off in the background. 414 00:10:41,731 --> 00:10:42,982 Did you pull 415 00:10:41,731 --> 00:10:42,982 your car up? 416 00:10:42,982 --> 00:10:45,402 Uh, no. 417 00:10:42,982 --> 00:10:45,402 It's been overturned. 418 00:10:45,402 --> 00:10:47,404 What? 419 00:10:45,402 --> 00:10:47,404 Okay, look, 420 00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:49,239 I don't wanna 421 00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:49,239 alarm anyone, 422 00:10:49,239 --> 00:10:52,492 but the World Food Festival 423 00:10:49,239 --> 00:10:52,492 has taken a dark turn. 424 00:10:52,492 --> 00:10:54,827 I guess some 425 00:10:52,492 --> 00:10:54,827 national ethnicities 426 00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:56,454 don't play nice with others 427 00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:59,416 and things have turned 428 00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:59,416 into a bit of a race... 429 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:02,335 kerfuffle. 430 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:02,335 You mean "riot"? 431 00:11:02,335 --> 00:11:06,590 Let's use "kerfuffle" 432 00:11:02,335 --> 00:11:06,590 for now, okay, Mr. Winger? 433 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:10,719 Oh, God. I was just trying 434 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:10,719 to feed hungry foodies. 435 00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:13,597 I'm going to call an ambulance. 436 00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:13,597 There's ambulances out there. 437 00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:15,432 They're overturning 438 00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:15,432 those too. 439 00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:18,226 I mean, I didn't even know 440 00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:18,226 there was a difference 441 00:11:18,226 --> 00:11:20,687 between North 442 00:11:18,226 --> 00:11:20,687 and South Korean barbeque. 443 00:11:20,687 --> 00:11:23,356 I mean, M.A.S.H. lasted 444 00:11:20,687 --> 00:11:23,356 longer than that war. 445 00:11:23,356 --> 00:11:26,276 Get over it. Am I right? 446 00:11:23,356 --> 00:11:26,276 Don't print that. 447 00:11:26,276 --> 00:11:28,612 Let's just quit 448 00:11:26,276 --> 00:11:28,612 jotting. Quit... 449 00:11:28,612 --> 00:11:29,987 Stop writing! 450 00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:31,656 911 says it's gonna 451 00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:31,656 take over an hour 452 00:11:31,656 --> 00:11:33,366 because of a race kerfuffle. 453 00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:36,578 Ooh. Lake Wobegon days! 454 00:11:36,578 --> 00:11:38,913 Abed, what do we do? 455 00:11:38,913 --> 00:11:40,331 Shirley, pretend 456 00:11:38,913 --> 00:11:40,331 I'm saying this 457 00:11:40,331 --> 00:11:41,916 in a soothing, 458 00:11:40,331 --> 00:11:41,916 non-robotic voice. 459 00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,334 We won't make it 460 00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,334 to the hospital. 461 00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:45,629 I'm gonna have this baby 462 00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:45,629 at a hospital 463 00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:47,796 with my husband, 464 00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:47,796 the father of my baby. 465 00:11:47,796 --> 00:11:49,382 Unless that father is me. 466 00:11:49,382 --> 00:11:51,718 In which case, what you need 467 00:11:49,382 --> 00:11:51,718 to do is elevate your legs 468 00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:55,305 over your head while facing 469 00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:55,305 the northeast corner of room. 470 00:11:55,305 --> 00:11:57,766 But try not to look at the door, 471 00:11:55,305 --> 00:11:57,766 that's bad luck. 472 00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,350 Chang babies 473 00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,350 are very superstitious. 474 00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:03,271 Also, if you can visualize 475 00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:03,271 a rabbit riding a dragon 476 00:12:03,271 --> 00:12:06,399 it'll increase his chances 477 00:12:03,271 --> 00:12:06,399 of winning lotteries. 478 00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:08,234 Ben, corner. 479 00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:11,112 Listen, Shirley, we're having 480 00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:11,112 the baby right here, right now. 481 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,864 Okay. 482 00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:16,075 Get every blanket 483 00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:16,075 and coat you can find. 484 00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:17,910 Anything soft 485 00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:17,910 for Shirley to lie on. 486 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:20,413 Annie, call Andre and 487 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:20,413 tell him to meet us here. 488 00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:22,415 What can I do? 489 00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:22,415 Stop rubbing her shoulders. 490 00:12:22,415 --> 00:12:25,502 What are you doing? 491 00:12:22,415 --> 00:12:25,502 Being natural. 492 00:12:25,502 --> 00:12:28,296 Jeff, help me move 493 00:12:25,502 --> 00:12:28,296 Shirley to the ground. 494 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:29,547 All right, just stand 495 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:29,547 right here. 496 00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:30,923 Okay. Okay. 497 00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:32,883 Easy. Easy. 498 00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:32,883 Troy, blankets. 499 00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:35,052 Here we go. Okay. 500 00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:35,052 Okay. Okay. 501 00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:37,930 I just need to take a look 502 00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:37,930 and see how far along you are. 503 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:39,599 Oh, I'm sorry, 504 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:39,599 I don't feel comfortable 505 00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:41,685 with you taking a tour 506 00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:41,685 of my nethers. 507 00:12:41,685 --> 00:12:43,436 I'd prefer if it was 508 00:12:41,685 --> 00:12:43,436 one of the girls. 509 00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:45,980 I can do it. I can do it. 510 00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:45,980 I'm good at looking. 511 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:49,025 I am here for you. 512 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:49,025 Okay, what do I do? 513 00:12:49,025 --> 00:12:52,028 Look and see if the baby's head 514 00:12:49,025 --> 00:12:52,028 has reached the cervix. 515 00:12:52,028 --> 00:12:54,698 No problo, Rob Lowe. 516 00:13:11,297 --> 00:13:13,924 I take it the head 517 00:13:11,297 --> 00:13:13,924 has reached the cervix. 518 00:13:16,177 --> 00:13:18,262 Oh, God. Okay. Oh, God. 519 00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,390 All right. 520 00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,390 Not to worry. 521 00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:22,099 This kind of thing 522 00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:22,099 happens all the time. 523 00:13:22,099 --> 00:13:24,060 Are a lot of babies 524 00:13:22,099 --> 00:13:24,060 born in classrooms? 525 00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:27,021 Well, a lot more are 526 00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:27,021 conceived. Heh, heh, heh. 527 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,690 No, Paul, 528 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,690 that's off the record. 529 00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:30,817 And not true. Sort of. 530 00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:30,817 Annie. 531 00:13:30,817 --> 00:13:33,737 Gotta go. 532 00:13:30,817 --> 00:13:33,737 Due to a conflict of genitals 533 00:13:33,737 --> 00:13:35,613 I've been disqualified 534 00:13:33,737 --> 00:13:35,613 from delivering Shirley's baby. 535 00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:37,240 I'm gonna walk you 536 00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:37,240 through it. 537 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,743 I can't deliver a baby. 538 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,743 I'm not prepared. 539 00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:41,745 I need to take a class, 540 00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:41,745 shadow a nurse, 541 00:13:41,745 --> 00:13:43,705 or at least 542 00:13:41,745 --> 00:13:43,705 have my mom hug me first. 543 00:13:43,705 --> 00:13:45,790 Oh, God. I'm seeing spots. 544 00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:48,877 Oh, my Lord! Why are you 545 00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:48,877 doing these things to me? 546 00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:51,087 How have I failed you? 547 00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:51,087 Oh! 548 00:13:51,087 --> 00:13:52,255 Someone's gotta calm her down. 549 00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:55,633 I got this. 550 00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:55,633 Shirley, look at me. 551 00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:57,802 Look at my face. 552 00:13:57,802 --> 00:13:59,345 Connect with me. 553 00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,434 Ha-ha-ha! 554 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:05,643 What in the hell? 555 00:14:05,643 --> 00:14:06,770 I don't know what to do. 556 00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,271 Chang! Where's Chang? 557 00:14:08,271 --> 00:14:09,564 What's up, baby? 558 00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:11,982 You said Chang babies 559 00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:11,982 all come this way? 560 00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:13,610 Yup, like a bullet 561 00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:13,610 from a gun. 562 00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:14,985 And they're all okay? 563 00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:18,030 Hell, yeah. More than okay. 564 00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:18,030 Super babies. 565 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,116 Seven generations 566 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,116 of little scrappers 567 00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,492 born in 568 00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,492 the worst conditions 569 00:14:21,492 --> 00:14:23,411 you can imagine. 570 00:14:21,492 --> 00:14:23,411 Tell me. 571 00:14:23,411 --> 00:14:25,705 My cousin slid out feet first 572 00:14:23,411 --> 00:14:25,705 in a Pickle Barrel. 573 00:14:25,705 --> 00:14:27,665 My uncle was born 574 00:14:25,705 --> 00:14:27,665 during rainy season 575 00:14:27,665 --> 00:14:29,333 in a Mongolian 576 00:14:27,665 --> 00:14:29,333 sheep pasture. 577 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,836 My brother, born under 578 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,836 a crowded noodle bar 579 00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:34,297 while my grandfather 580 00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:34,297 finished his shrimp. 581 00:14:34,297 --> 00:14:35,673 Nothing can stop us. 582 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:38,384 Not the hurricanes, 583 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:38,384 not the Communists, 584 00:14:38,384 --> 00:14:40,470 not the feds, 585 00:14:38,384 --> 00:14:40,470 not the Girl Scouts. 586 00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,472 What are you doing? 587 00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,472 Get in there. 588 00:14:42,472 --> 00:14:44,390 Me? Forget it, 589 00:14:42,472 --> 00:14:44,390 I'm the worst. 590 00:14:44,390 --> 00:14:47,351 Well, that's a discussion 591 00:14:44,390 --> 00:14:47,351 for a different time. 592 00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:50,020 Britta, there is something 593 00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:50,020 in you 594 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,731 that wants to take care 595 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,731 of people so bad 596 00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:53,441 that you'll do it 597 00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:53,441 until you puke. 598 00:14:53,441 --> 00:14:55,443 That's what Shirley 599 00:14:53,441 --> 00:14:55,443 needs right now. 600 00:14:55,443 --> 00:14:57,320 Are you saying 601 00:14:55,443 --> 00:14:57,320 I'll be a good mom? 602 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,947 Heh, heh, what? No. 603 00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:01,365 Man, you will really 604 00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:01,365 force anything, won't you? 605 00:15:01,365 --> 00:15:03,743 Just get in there and force 606 00:15:01,365 --> 00:15:03,743 that baby out of Shirley. 607 00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:08,998 Step aside, people. 608 00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:08,998 Britta for the win! 609 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:14,295 Get out of my way. 610 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:14,295 Okay, I'm ready. 611 00:15:14,295 --> 00:15:16,506 Abed, walk me through this. 612 00:15:16,506 --> 00:15:17,882 Okay, at each 613 00:15:16,506 --> 00:15:17,882 contraction, 614 00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:19,509 you need to tell 615 00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:19,509 Shirley to push. 616 00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:20,802 That's it? 617 00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:22,178 Don't tell any doctors 618 00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:22,178 I said this, 619 00:15:22,178 --> 00:15:23,513 but the bus pretty much 620 00:15:22,178 --> 00:15:23,513 drives itself. 621 00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:26,349 Who is the bus 622 00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:26,349 in this scenario? 623 00:15:26,349 --> 00:15:29,352 Push. Push. Push. 624 00:15:29,352 --> 00:15:30,937 TROY & ABED: 625 00:15:29,352 --> 00:15:30,937 Push. Push. Push. 626 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,105 Push. Push. Push. 627 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,105 Bring it on. Good. 628 00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:35,065 Push. 629 00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:35,065 Come on, Shirley. 630 00:15:35,065 --> 00:15:36,609 The head is out! 631 00:15:36,609 --> 00:15:39,236 Now, feel around the neck 632 00:15:36,609 --> 00:15:39,236 for the umbilical cord. 633 00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:41,656 There's no cord. 634 00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:43,199 I think 635 00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:43,199 that's a good thing. 636 00:15:43,199 --> 00:15:45,743 I am nailing this. 637 00:15:43,199 --> 00:15:45,743 You're doing great too. 638 00:15:45,743 --> 00:15:48,037 Chang, more stories. 639 00:15:48,037 --> 00:15:49,747 Okay, so in World War II, 640 00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:53,042 a lot of us were rounded up 641 00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:53,042 in labor camps, mining mostly. 642 00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:54,836 Hundreds of Changs were born 643 00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:54,836 underneath the earth. 644 00:15:54,836 --> 00:15:57,046 Most spent their first 645 00:15:54,836 --> 00:15:57,046 five years underground. 646 00:15:57,046 --> 00:16:01,592 Hey, I'm here. 647 00:15:57,046 --> 00:16:01,592 Oh, Andre. 648 00:16:01,592 --> 00:16:03,761 Okay. Hi, baby. 649 00:16:03,761 --> 00:16:05,596 It's gonna be all right. 650 00:16:03,761 --> 00:16:05,596 Okay. 651 00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,515 Ma'am, we can take it 652 00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,515 from here. 653 00:16:07,515 --> 00:16:09,475 Guys, I got it. 654 00:16:07,515 --> 00:16:09,475 I'm in the zone. 655 00:16:09,475 --> 00:16:12,020 Come on, Shirley. 656 00:16:09,475 --> 00:16:12,020 Push, push, push. 657 00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,646 Push it. Push it. 658 00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,646 Here it comes. 659 00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:15,982 It's Baby Greendale. 660 00:16:15,982 --> 00:16:17,775 You guys don't have 661 00:16:15,982 --> 00:16:17,775 to name it that. 662 00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,819 I don't claim that power. 663 00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,819 I'm merely the deliverer. 664 00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:22,572 Britta, focus. 665 00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:22,572 Oh, doy. Okay, come on, Shirley. 666 00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:26,534 ABED & ANNIE: 667 00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:26,534 Push! Push! Push! 668 00:16:26,534 --> 00:16:28,369 Oh, it's a boy! 669 00:16:29,662 --> 00:16:31,205 And it's also 670 00:16:29,662 --> 00:16:31,205 a black person. 671 00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:34,667 Not that that's important. 672 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,836 Are you sure it's yours, baby? 673 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,836 Yes. 674 00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:38,379 It's definitely his. 675 00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:39,589 I never told you this part, 676 00:16:39,589 --> 00:16:42,216 but all Changs 677 00:16:39,589 --> 00:16:42,216 are born with tails. 678 00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:45,302 You kind of dodged 679 00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:45,302 a bullet there. 680 00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:51,517 Did that just happen? 681 00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:53,102 It's back. 682 00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:53,102 It never left. 683 00:16:57,147 --> 00:17:00,359 Hi. Aw. 684 00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:06,908 We did it, Sugar Boots. 685 00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:06,908 No, you did it, baby. 686 00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:09,368 Congratulations, sir. 687 00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:10,912 After a fierce campaign, 688 00:17:10,912 --> 00:17:13,247 I happily concede 689 00:17:10,912 --> 00:17:13,247 this baby to you. 690 00:17:13,247 --> 00:17:15,124 Pretty classy of me. 691 00:17:15,124 --> 00:17:16,667 Thank you, Chang. 692 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,294 Couldn't have done this 693 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,294 without you. 694 00:17:18,294 --> 00:17:20,004 No bigs. 695 00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:21,380 Andre? 696 00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:21,380 Yeah? 697 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:24,341 I think I wanna 698 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:24,341 name him after Ben. 699 00:17:24,341 --> 00:17:25,635 What? 700 00:17:24,341 --> 00:17:25,635 Hm? 701 00:17:25,635 --> 00:17:27,261 Really? 702 00:17:25,635 --> 00:17:27,261 Really? 703 00:17:27,261 --> 00:17:29,722 Yeah, I mean, 704 00:17:27,261 --> 00:17:29,722 you may not be his father, 705 00:17:29,722 --> 00:17:32,182 but you helped bring him 706 00:17:29,722 --> 00:17:32,182 into the world. 707 00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:36,854 All right, well, we'll have 708 00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:36,854 our own little baby Ben Bennett. 709 00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:39,732 Ben Bennett? Oh, damn. 710 00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:39,732 Mm-hm. 711 00:17:39,732 --> 00:17:41,985 Okay. No, no, no, 712 00:17:39,732 --> 00:17:41,985 that's fine. 713 00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:44,904 Ben Bennett. 714 00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:47,448 Hi, Ben Bennett. 715 00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:48,908 Oh, look, 716 00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:48,908 he said "Chang." 717 00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,409 No. 718 00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,409 No, he didn't. 719 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:53,496 See? Nothing to it. 720 00:17:53,496 --> 00:17:55,164 Yeah. 721 00:17:55,164 --> 00:17:56,874 Can you believe that's how 722 00:17:55,164 --> 00:17:56,874 we come into this world? 723 00:17:56,874 --> 00:17:59,877 Screaming, crying 724 00:17:56,874 --> 00:17:59,877 and covered in crap. 725 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:02,797 Then somewhere along the lines 726 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:02,797 we get it into our heads 727 00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:04,381 that we're destined 728 00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:04,381 for greatness. 729 00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:08,636 We are. I just yanked 730 00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:08,636 a little dude out of my friend. 731 00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:10,554 Yeah. 732 00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:12,515 I guess we passed 733 00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:12,515 anthropology. 734 00:18:12,515 --> 00:18:15,184 Look at how teeny his hands are. 735 00:18:15,184 --> 00:18:18,146 They're so little. His fingers 736 00:18:15,184 --> 00:18:18,146 are like Good & Plenties. 737 00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:20,064 I know, I wanna eat them. 738 00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:22,859 Which is lame. 739 00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:22,859 Totally. 740 00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:24,360 This has been quite a day. 741 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,821 You can expect a cover story 742 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,821 in the next issue. 743 00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:28,739 In a good way? 744 00:18:28,739 --> 00:18:31,325 Like, an article about 745 00:18:28,739 --> 00:18:31,325 what a good dean I am? 746 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,872 Absolutely. 747 00:18:35,872 --> 00:18:38,248 I did it. Heh, heh. 748 00:18:38,248 --> 00:18:40,793 I did it. 749 00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:44,213 I am a good dean. 750 00:18:44,213 --> 00:18:46,256 I am a good dean! 751 00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:47,967 Ha-ha-ha! Whoo! 752 00:18:59,937 --> 00:19:01,939 Are you sure 753 00:18:59,937 --> 00:19:01,939 you wanna do this? 754 00:19:01,939 --> 00:19:03,607 People do it in movies, 755 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:05,068 but there are 756 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:05,068 real-world consequences. 757 00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:06,819 I know, but if we 758 00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:06,819 take that test today, 759 00:19:06,819 --> 00:19:09,530 we are definitely 760 00:19:06,819 --> 00:19:09,530 going to fail it. 761 00:19:09,530 --> 00:19:11,532 Okay, let's do it. 762 00:19:25,546 --> 00:19:26,964 What are you guys doing? 763 00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:33,930 Cancel school today or 764 00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:33,930 we tell everybody about this. 765 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,890 Deal.