1
00:00:00,747 --> 00:00:03,012
By the end of WWII President Roosevelt

2
00:00:03,132 --> 00:00:05,370
had finally succumbed
to the polio

3
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:09,837
that afflicted him
his entire life.

4
00:00:09,872 --> 00:00:12,240
Which brings me to
the Yalta Conference.

5
00:00:12,274 --> 00:00:14,392
Who can tell me three
key points brought up there?

6
00:00:14,443 --> 00:00:15,810
Annie.

7
00:00:15,878 --> 00:00:16,878
The demilitarization
of Germany—

8
00:00:16,912 --> 00:00:17,879
I'm sorry.

9
00:00:17,913 --> 00:00:19,864
Annie Kim.

10
00:00:19,898 --> 00:00:21,799
The demilitarization
of Germany,

11
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,184
the establishment
of Poland's borders

12
00:00:23,218 --> 00:00:25,019
and the formation of
the United Nations.

13
00:00:25,053 --> 00:00:27,388
Side note: The results
of Yalta would later

14
00:00:27,423 --> 00:00:29,056
set the stage for the Cold War.

15
00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:31,192
Oh, boy, spoiler alert.

16
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:36,130
Somebody just won
a ride in the wheelchair.

17
00:00:36,165 --> 00:00:38,049
I'm proud of you
for deciding on a major, Britta.

18
00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:39,500
I'd like to thank the lord
in my prayers about you,

19
00:00:39,534 --> 00:00:41,586
but you're still dressing
like a streetwalker.

20
00:00:41,637 --> 00:00:42,887
Yep, I'm getting serious.

21
00:00:42,921 --> 00:00:45,056
I got a backpack,
I got a new notebook.

22
00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:47,091
Oh, I got one of
those see-through yellow pens

23
00:00:47,142 --> 00:00:48,926
so I can do that thing
where you color in the words.

24
00:00:48,977 --> 00:00:50,094
Highlight?

25
00:00:50,145 --> 00:00:51,562
Probably the backpack.

26
00:00:51,597 --> 00:00:52,847
Free the damascus three.

27
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:55,516
Oh, thanks.
Oh, whoa.

28
00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:56,651
I know this girl.

29
00:00:56,685 --> 00:00:58,319
We used to protest together
all the time

30
00:00:58,353 --> 00:01:00,221
and now she's locked up
in Syria.

31
00:01:00,239 --> 00:01:01,439
Oh, that's terrible.

32
00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:02,824
Yes, it's terrible.

33
00:01:02,858 --> 00:01:04,575
She's imprisoned
by an oppressive regime

34
00:01:04,610 --> 00:01:06,828
halfway around the world
and I'm, what?

35
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,112
In college?

36
00:01:08,163 --> 00:01:10,164
Where are my values?

37
00:01:10,199 --> 00:01:13,501
Man, she's got
a Facebook group?

38
00:01:13,535 --> 00:01:15,837
My first cop flashlight.

39
00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:19,090
Can't wait to get some brains
on this bad boy.

40
00:01:19,124 --> 00:01:20,808
Are you safe, ma'am?
Everything okay?

41
00:01:20,843 --> 00:01:22,243
Is this guy bothering you?

42
00:01:22,277 --> 00:01:23,845
- Huh? Huh?
- Hey!

43
00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:25,412
Who the hell
do you think you are?

44
00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:27,014
The badge says
to serve and protect!

45
00:01:27,049 --> 00:01:28,633
No, it doesn't.

46
00:01:28,684 --> 00:01:32,320
"How's my smile?"
Oh, man.

47
00:01:32,354 --> 00:01:34,138
What the hell am I
in charge of?

48
00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:35,756
See this garbage can?

49
00:01:35,774 --> 00:01:38,092
Students coming out
of the library bump into it.

50
00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:40,361
You can serve and protect them
from a nasty boo-boo.

51
00:01:40,395 --> 00:01:41,629
What do I do if I see a crime?

52
00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:43,631
What a security guard does—

53
00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:45,566
Call a cop.

54
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,151
Where'd you even get these?

55
00:01:47,202 --> 00:01:48,703
- Come on, let me keep them.
- No.

56
00:01:48,737 --> 00:01:51,038
Please?
I swear they're just for sex!

57
00:01:51,063 --> 00:02:00,263
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

58
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:23,305
And this ragtag group
of cut-ups is my study group.

59
00:02:23,425 --> 00:02:26,360
Gang, this is Annie Kim
from my Poli-Sci class.

60
00:02:26,394 --> 00:02:28,729
We just figured out we had
the same G.P.A. in high school.

61
00:02:28,763 --> 00:02:31,298
Well, mine was higher if you
consider my school's ranking.

62
00:02:31,332 --> 00:02:33,467
Well, it sounds like you had
a lighter course load, so.

63
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:34,568
Well, I was in a lot of clubs.

64
00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:35,969
I founded 17 of them.

65
00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:37,471
Well, I was actually thinking
about founding a model U.N.

66
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,139
here at Greendale.
Any interest?

67
00:02:39,174 --> 00:02:40,607
I'll probably be busy,

68
00:02:40,642 --> 00:02:42,209
and you probably need to study,

69
00:02:42,243 --> 00:02:43,560
so see you in class.

70
00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:46,447
Okay, goodbye.

71
00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:48,348
Wow, Annie.

72
00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:50,717
How progressive of you to have
a multicultural evil twin.

73
00:02:50,752 --> 00:02:51,718
An Asian Annie.

74
00:02:51,753 --> 00:02:53,454
Obama's America.

75
00:02:53,488 --> 00:02:55,722
Her name is Annie Kim,

76
00:02:55,757 --> 00:02:56,757
and she's not evil.

77
00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:57,791
She's my friend.

78
00:02:57,826 --> 00:02:59,059
Didn't look like it.

79
00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:00,527
Yeah, you seemed pretty
competitive with her.

80
00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:02,729
You be careful, Annie.
They are ruthless.

81
00:03:02,764 --> 00:03:04,231
What?

82
00:03:04,265 --> 00:03:06,032
What? Not Asians.

83
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:07,050
Women.

84
00:03:07,085 --> 00:03:08,602
I'm not competing with her.

85
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,036
I find her adorable.

86
00:03:10,054 --> 00:03:11,371
She's like a younger me.

87
00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:12,923
You mean the younger you
that took so much Adderall

88
00:03:12,974 --> 00:03:14,374
she tried to straighten
the lines on our high school

89
00:03:14,392 --> 00:03:15,742
football field during a game?

90
00:03:15,777 --> 00:03:17,211
Ooh, be careful, Annie.

91
00:03:17,245 --> 00:03:18,245
You don't want this little girl

92
00:03:18,279 --> 00:03:19,580
to suck you back
to the dark side.

93
00:03:19,614 --> 00:03:21,748
Hey, guys,
what're you trying to do here?

94
00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:23,049
This is our Annie.

95
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:25,452
That little twerp
is a can of Annie lite.

96
00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:26,987
She couldn't hold a candle
to the real thing

97
00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:29,990
in any category of anything.

98
00:03:30,024 --> 00:03:31,391
Aw, well, I wasn't
fishing for that.

99
00:03:31,426 --> 00:03:33,961
You're the best, kiddo.

100
00:03:33,995 --> 00:03:34,962
You know what else
was the best?

101
00:03:34,996 --> 00:03:36,196
The rainforests.

102
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:38,532
Too bad the fascist oligarchies
are raping them

103
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:42,002
to make hamburgers.
Look it up.

104
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,639
Looks like someone woke up
on the regular side of the bed.

105
00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:47,207
Britta's just having
a rough time

106
00:03:47,242 --> 00:03:49,009
because her friend's in prison.

107
00:03:49,043 --> 00:03:50,277
I went to her Facebook page.

108
00:03:50,311 --> 00:03:53,247
It says she was tear-gassed
and possibly beaten.

109
00:03:53,281 --> 00:03:55,849
I haven't been tear-gassed
in so long.

110
00:03:55,884 --> 00:03:57,434
Well, you're on a new path now.

111
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,786
Oh, goody, a new path.

112
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:03,190
Is it lined with credit cards
and flat screen TVs?

113
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:05,325
Does it go by an Ikea?

114
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,693
Maybe I don't want a new path!

115
00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:07,778
Or any path.

116
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,447
Maybe my path is a war path

117
00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:14,401
that leads
to the terrordome, n-words!

118
00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:16,803
Okay, maybe I went too far.

119
00:04:16,838 --> 00:04:19,272
Maybe I don't want to offend
my African-American friends,

120
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,158
but the larger point is,

121
00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:26,296
maybe I'm not done
raging against the machine.

122
00:04:26,331 --> 00:04:27,314
Raging against the what?

123
00:04:27,348 --> 00:04:28,482
That sounds dangerous.

124
00:04:28,516 --> 00:04:31,018
Don't worry.
She'll be bad at it.

125
00:04:31,052 --> 00:04:32,970
Keep clear of the can.

126
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:37,424
Sir, step around the can.

127
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:40,177
Mind the can, student.

128
00:04:55,743 --> 00:04:57,477
You just got yourself
a warning.

129
00:04:57,495 --> 00:04:59,363
I piss warnings, pig.

130
00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:20,701
And that's how we do that.

131
00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:22,603
Hey!

132
00:05:22,637 --> 00:05:25,639
I got my eye on you, missy.

133
00:05:37,568 --> 00:05:40,721
Hi.

134
00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:42,389
You okay, kiddo?

135
00:05:42,423 --> 00:05:44,324
Yeah, yeah.
You know what's funny?

136
00:05:44,359 --> 00:05:45,459
This is so silly.

137
00:05:45,493 --> 00:05:47,461
Remember little Annie Kim
from Poli-Sci?

138
00:05:47,495 --> 00:05:49,663
Boy, she just...
took my model U.N. idea

139
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:52,082
and just...

140
00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:53,700
She is quite
the little go-getter.

141
00:05:53,735 --> 00:05:55,302
Wait, what?

142
00:05:55,336 --> 00:05:56,420
She stole your idea?

143
00:05:56,471 --> 00:05:57,587
Sneak attack.

144
00:05:57,639 --> 00:05:59,473
That's just like—

145
00:05:59,507 --> 00:06:01,475
Not women, Asians.

146
00:06:01,509 --> 00:06:04,011
Well, the real important thing
is that there is a model U.N.

147
00:06:04,045 --> 00:06:06,013
It doesn't really matter
who starts it.

148
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:08,081
It just means her name
goes on some charter

149
00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:10,067
and she gets to put it
on her résumé.

150
00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:12,986
And lead the Greendale team
to the national model U.N.,

151
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:16,222
and meet Kofi Annan, Boutros
Boutros Ghali, and Will.I.Am.

152
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,241
Boutros Boutros Ghali?

153
00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:20,327
I'm gonna find
this little brat's off-switch.

154
00:06:20,361 --> 00:06:21,394
Jeff!

155
00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,896
He's just being protective.

156
00:06:22,914 --> 00:06:24,581
I'll stop him.

157
00:06:24,615 --> 00:06:26,600
I am so excited that
we finally have a model U.N.

158
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:27,901
here at Greendale.

159
00:06:27,935 --> 00:06:29,636
I am really, really, really,
really, really, really

160
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:30,904
into model U.N.s.

161
00:06:30,938 --> 00:06:32,773
They used to call me model U.N.
guy back in college.

162
00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:36,076
Well, that's not—
don't research that.

163
00:06:36,094 --> 00:06:38,845
The important thing here
is that I am really—

164
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,681
Pardon me, Professor Cligoris.

165
00:06:40,715 --> 00:06:42,099
Cligoris?

166
00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:44,451
Either pronunciation is fine?
Are you here for the model U.N.?

167
00:06:44,485 --> 00:06:46,820
I'm here to tell you
that the entire idea

168
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:49,806
to have a model U.N.
was hers.

169
00:06:49,857 --> 00:06:52,592
Really? So you're
Clark M. Eichelburger.

170
00:06:52,627 --> 00:06:55,028
So I've had your photo around my
neck since I was in high school.

171
00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:56,630
I'm talking about
the Greendale model U.N.

172
00:06:56,664 --> 00:07:00,701
My Annie gave
this other Annie the idea

173
00:07:00,735 --> 00:07:02,269
and the diabolical
little b—usybody

174
00:07:02,303 --> 00:07:03,904
stabbed her in the back.

175
00:07:03,938 --> 00:07:05,238
It's childish.

176
00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:07,641
Honestly I'm just happy
there is a model U.N.

177
00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:08,842
Annie, is this true?

178
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:12,779
I recall other Annie
mentioned the concept,

179
00:07:12,814 --> 00:07:14,280
but she certainly
didn't take the initiative

180
00:07:14,298 --> 00:07:16,316
to find a faculty advisor.

181
00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:17,918
I didn't know that all you had
to do was call dibs.

182
00:07:17,952 --> 00:07:19,086
I'm not calling dibs.

183
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,670
Because I'm not a petty
competitive child

184
00:07:20,722 --> 00:07:22,339
that steals ideas.

185
00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:24,391
I simply refuse to acknowledge
the authority

186
00:07:24,425 --> 00:07:25,959
of your criminal model U.N.

187
00:07:25,993 --> 00:07:27,094
So don't recognize it.

188
00:07:27,128 --> 00:07:28,328
It still exists.

189
00:07:28,363 --> 00:07:30,797
Oh, then Annie'll just
start her own model U.N.

190
00:07:30,815 --> 00:07:31,965
Yeah, for grown-ups.

191
00:07:31,999 --> 00:07:33,333
Well, I still don't
recognize it.

192
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:35,168
Well, it exists, baby!

193
00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:36,436
I'm sorry, I don't understand
your relationship here.

194
00:07:36,471 --> 00:07:38,071
Is he your father
or your lover?

195
00:07:38,106 --> 00:07:39,356
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

196
00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:40,474
There can only be one
model U.N.

197
00:07:40,508 --> 00:07:41,942
that officially represents
this school

198
00:07:41,976 --> 00:07:43,577
so let's take our foot
off the crazy pedal

199
00:07:43,611 --> 00:07:44,845
for just a moment here.

200
00:07:44,879 --> 00:07:46,813
There's only one rational way
to settle this.

201
00:07:46,848 --> 00:07:49,583
A head-to-head model U.N.
Battle Royale,

202
00:07:49,617 --> 00:07:54,888
the rules to which I would have
to spend the evening devising.

203
00:07:54,922 --> 00:07:56,590
We'll have the competition
tomorrow

204
00:07:56,624 --> 00:07:58,058
in the cafeteria
at 7:00 P.M.

205
00:07:58,092 --> 00:08:00,594
May the most United Nations win.

206
00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:02,095
- Fair enough.
- Totally fair.

207
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,831
I'll see you in the fair papers,
other Annie.

208
00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:07,350
Oh, and you were asking
what our relationship is?

209
00:08:07,385 --> 00:08:08,552
- We're friends.
- Yeah.

210
00:08:08,603 --> 00:08:09,936
- Good friends.
- Grown-up friends.

211
00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:10,937
- Yeah.
- So.

212
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:16,209
We're friendly.

213
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,728
So, the key to winning this thing is

214
00:08:21,848 --> 00:08:23,549
when in doubt,
agree with Annie.

215
00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:24,583
That's sweet, Jeff.

216
00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:26,035
But everyone should
just have fun.

217
00:08:26,086 --> 00:08:27,720
Then again, what's more fun
than winning?

218
00:08:30,173 --> 00:08:31,257
Pierce.

219
00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:32,992
I'm offended you would
single me out.

220
00:08:33,026 --> 00:08:34,493
Did you read up on
your country's info-packet?

221
00:08:34,528 --> 00:08:35,561
Yes.

222
00:08:35,595 --> 00:08:37,730
Somalia has 1,900 miles
of coastline,

223
00:08:37,764 --> 00:08:39,065
a government that
knows its place,

224
00:08:39,099 --> 00:08:41,300
and all the guns and wives
you can afford to buy.

225
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:43,235
Why have I never heard
of this paradise before?

226
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:44,503
I studied up on my country.

227
00:08:44,538 --> 00:08:47,073
Is it okay if
we do accents, sugar?

228
00:08:47,107 --> 00:08:49,575
Troy, Georgia the country,
not the state.

229
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:51,510
That's right.
Capital city Tbilisi,

230
00:08:51,528 --> 00:08:53,179
and former member
of the Soviet Union.

231
00:08:53,213 --> 00:08:56,082
And we kindly request y'all
mind your Ps and Qs.

232
00:08:56,116 --> 00:08:58,167
Welcome to the world's
first ever model U.N.-off.

233
00:08:59,486 --> 00:09:01,687
You will each be scored
on your U.N.'s ability

234
00:09:01,722 --> 00:09:07,226
to pass resolutions, follow
procedure, and maintain order.

235
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:10,830
The end goal, of course,
total world peace.

236
00:09:10,864 --> 00:09:12,264
Any questions?

237
00:09:12,299 --> 00:09:14,033
Does two U.N.s mean
there are two earths?

238
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,535
Uh, yeah.
Sure, two earths.

239
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:18,070
Parallel earths
in different galaxies

240
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:19,772
or identical earths
in parallel dimensions?

241
00:09:19,806 --> 00:09:20,873
The latter one.

242
00:09:20,907 --> 00:09:22,057
Well, what does that say
about free will?

243
00:09:22,092 --> 00:09:23,075
Abed! Professor—

244
00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:24,210
Right, yeah, let's begin.

245
00:09:24,244 --> 00:09:25,594
Ready, set,

246
00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:26,612
peace.

247
00:09:26,646 --> 00:09:27,980
Crisis alert.

248
00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:30,716
A civil war has broken out
in Ethiopia.

249
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:33,586
Rebel forces have seized
the grain supply,

250
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,321
creating
a humanitarian disaster.

251
00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:37,056
Okay, cool heads, everyone.

252
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:39,892
America proposes a U.N.
peacekeeping force of

253
00:09:39,926 --> 00:09:40,926
10,000 troops.

254
00:09:40,961 --> 00:09:41,927
Uruguay agrees.

255
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:43,229
Ooh, uh, China, too.

256
00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:46,265
Georgia—the country—
is much obliged.

257
00:09:46,299 --> 00:09:48,234
There's gonna be refugees.
Who can take refugees?

258
00:09:48,268 --> 00:09:49,735
The great country of Somalia.

259
00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,837
This gem,
this Shangri-La

260
00:09:51,872 --> 00:09:54,273
graciously invites
the Ethiopian refugees

261
00:09:54,307 --> 00:09:57,676
to enjoy safe lodging
and cool ocean breezes

262
00:09:57,711 --> 00:09:59,111
on its sand-swept beaches.

263
00:09:59,146 --> 00:10:00,296
Okay, we're rolling.

264
00:10:00,347 --> 00:10:01,297
Switzerland proposes
a peace summit.

265
00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:02,748
Good idea, Switzerland.

266
00:10:02,783 --> 00:10:04,249
And maybe at the peace summit
we can discuss the possibility

267
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:05,584
of opening a portal
to Earth II.

268
00:10:05,602 --> 00:10:07,386
Can we put a pin
in that, Switzerland?

269
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:08,821
Earth II is out there,
can't ignore it forever.

270
00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:10,956
Well, China has money.
Does anybody want some?

271
00:10:10,991 --> 00:10:13,592
Yes! The United States
proposes using China's money

272
00:10:13,627 --> 00:10:15,277
to fund agricultural programs

273
00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:18,464
to support Ethiopia's
sustainable farms.

274
00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:20,699
Which should promote economic
development and security.

275
00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:22,268
All in favor?

276
00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:23,803
It's unanimous.

277
00:10:23,837 --> 00:10:25,037
Good resolving,
blue U.N.

278
00:10:25,071 --> 00:10:26,539
You really covered
all the bases.

279
00:10:26,573 --> 00:10:28,541
We have a unanimous decision
as well.

280
00:10:28,575 --> 00:10:30,676
Then after one round,
we are tied.

281
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:34,346
Looks like both U.N.s
are experts at fostering unity.

282
00:10:34,381 --> 00:10:35,681
- Crap.
- Damn it.

283
00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:36,882
Crisis alert. Russia...

284
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:38,651
This is what the United Nations

285
00:10:38,685 --> 00:10:39,969
is doing to your freedom.

286
00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:43,339
I'm your freedom!
And I'm in a cage.

287
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,224
With the world!

288
00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:46,725
Because of them!

289
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,160
I thought I'd find you here.

290
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:50,629
What are you gonna do,
lock me up?

291
00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:51,697
Just give me a reason.

292
00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:54,350
I'll give you a reason!

293
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:56,402
Whoa!

294
00:10:58,572 --> 00:11:00,189
That's it,
you're coming with me.

295
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:08,113
He's pulling my cage.

296
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,165
I'm being pulled in my cage
for no reason!

297
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,417
Is anybody seeing this?

298
00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,919
Is the world seeing this?
Are we facebooking this?

299
00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:16,755
Crisis alert!
A tsunami has hit Vietnam.

300
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:18,858
Massive—crisis alert,
famine in Ghana—

301
00:11:18,892 --> 00:11:21,660
crisis alert—tuberculosis
outbreak—crisis alert!

302
00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:23,379
Humanitarian aid.
We further resolve—

303
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,897
- Disarmament treaty.
- Crisis alert!

304
00:11:24,931 --> 00:11:26,298
To help women and children
get through famines.

305
00:11:26,332 --> 00:11:27,332
Save the orphans.

306
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:28,350
Loose nukes—

307
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:29,668
sinkhole—
North Korea—

308
00:11:29,686 --> 00:11:31,387
the prime minister in exile!
Military coup!

309
00:11:31,438 --> 00:11:34,390
The tropical paradise
of Somalia graciously yields.

310
00:11:34,441 --> 00:11:35,724
- China will pay.
- Gooder than grits.

311
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,109
Switzerland is very concerned
about Earth II.

312
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:38,176
Uruguay agrees.

313
00:11:38,194 --> 00:11:39,311
Uruguay sounds
like "you're a gay."

314
00:11:39,345 --> 00:11:40,846
Backyard barbecue!

315
00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:42,181
Uruguay kindly requests that

316
00:11:42,215 --> 00:11:44,533
Somalia stop pronouncing it
"you're a gay."

317
00:11:44,568 --> 00:11:46,151
- Hereditary monarchy!
- Resolved.

318
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:48,120
- Graft and corruption.
- Resolved.

319
00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:49,238
Crisis alert!

320
00:11:49,289 --> 00:11:50,239
Resolved.

321
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:51,724
Looking good, blue U.N.

322
00:11:51,758 --> 00:11:53,759
Getting very close
to world peace.

323
00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:55,895
That's my girl.
You are kicking ass.

324
00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:57,212
All right, guys,

325
00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:59,632
this is the home stretch.
All we gotta do is focus.

326
00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:01,383
Oh! Damn, Pierce.

327
00:12:01,418 --> 00:12:02,701
Ooh, that wasn't me.

328
00:12:02,736 --> 00:12:04,737
I don't smell anything—
whup, I just got it.

329
00:12:04,771 --> 00:12:06,138
Oh, it's in my mouth.

330
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:07,423
Guys, come on, focus.

331
00:12:07,474 --> 00:12:08,908
Like adults.

332
00:12:08,942 --> 00:12:10,809
We're gonna lose a point
if we don't get through this.

333
00:12:10,844 --> 00:12:12,912
Get through it?
It's almost a solid.

334
00:12:12,946 --> 00:12:14,546
Crisis alert.

335
00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:16,482
A genocidal dictator
in Laos—

336
00:12:16,516 --> 00:12:18,584
Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that.

337
00:12:18,618 --> 00:12:21,070
Okay, so, looking at Turkey,
what can you do?

338
00:12:21,104 --> 00:12:22,955
So let me get this straight.

339
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:24,657
You're bringing her in here

340
00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:27,159
for "making a mess."

341
00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:28,494
I did more than make a mess.

342
00:12:28,528 --> 00:12:30,462
I turned your whole system
inside out.

343
00:12:30,497 --> 00:12:32,131
And I shut her down.

344
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:33,499
Young lady, you spilled paint
on a globe.

345
00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:35,467
You're as much a criminal
as this idiot is a cop.

346
00:12:35,502 --> 00:12:36,835
None whatsoever.

347
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:40,272
Okay, but, um, she's going
to do something illegal.

348
00:12:40,307 --> 00:12:41,307
Aren't you?

349
00:12:41,341 --> 00:12:43,475
Is that true?
Do you, Britta Perry,

350
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:46,345
have any intentions
of breaking any laws ever?

351
00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:47,846
I-I-

352
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:49,848
Oh, my God.

353
00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:51,850
No, it's not that simple.

354
00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,986
I have a life now.

355
00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:55,421
I have a major and—

356
00:12:55,455 --> 00:12:56,421
Get out please.

357
00:12:56,439 --> 00:12:58,357
I have highlighters.

358
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:02,761
Get out!

359
00:13:02,796 --> 00:13:05,631
Okay, I know you've got a lot
on your mind right now.

360
00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:08,233
But somebody broke that thing

361
00:13:08,268 --> 00:13:09,835
that comes down
from the parking booth.

362
00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:12,271
You know the thing
that comes down,

363
00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:15,140
keeps the... cars
from coming in.

364
00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:17,643
The thing. It's like a gate,
but it's just a stick.

365
00:13:17,677 --> 00:13:19,945
Comes down, from a hinge.

366
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:21,580
Keeps the cars out.

367
00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,882
Goes up and down 90 degrees.

368
00:13:23,917 --> 00:13:25,517
The arm?

369
00:13:28,054 --> 00:13:31,123
Ooh, point goes to red team.

370
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:32,391
How is this still happening?

371
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,793
I can't remember what
regular air smells like.

372
00:13:34,828 --> 00:13:37,229
Do something or
we're gonna lose.

373
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:41,367
Guys, this is important
to Annie.

374
00:13:41,401 --> 00:13:43,535
So whoever actually died
a few months ago, 'fess up

375
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:44,737
so we can put a stake
through your heart.

376
00:13:45,905 --> 00:13:46,872
Jeff!

377
00:13:46,906 --> 00:13:47,973
Annie, I think
the real lesson here is

378
00:13:47,991 --> 00:13:49,508
that a model U.N.,
much like the real U.N.,

379
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:51,493
quickly falls apart
when faced with actual—

380
00:13:51,528 --> 00:13:54,847
Noooooo!

381
00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:59,752
I think the lesson here
is that I need to win this!

382
00:13:59,786 --> 00:14:02,037
I want to win!

383
00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:03,205
And you!

384
00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:07,676
You suck!
You're a stupid, ugly poopface!

385
00:14:07,711 --> 00:14:10,195
I'm better than you!

386
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:11,663
Annie, stop.

387
00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:13,165
You're acting
like a little schoolgirl

388
00:14:13,199 --> 00:14:14,433
and not in a hot way.

389
00:14:23,209 --> 00:14:25,227
Okay.

390
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:27,279
Uh, that made me sound creepy.

391
00:14:27,313 --> 00:14:29,398
But—but here's the thing.

392
00:14:41,408 --> 00:14:44,544
Don't look at me.

393
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:48,078
If embarrassment were
bountiful zinc deposits,

394
00:14:48,112 --> 00:14:49,329
I'd be Zambia.

395
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,216
There's nothing
to be Zambia about, Annie.

396
00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:55,101
This is all my fault.

397
00:14:55,136 --> 00:14:57,120
I pushed you into competing
with other Annie.

398
00:14:57,138 --> 00:14:58,321
Are you kidding me?

399
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,790
I practically ran to you
with that flier.

400
00:15:00,825 --> 00:15:02,726
I wanted to destroy her.

401
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,194
All because I can't handle
the thought

402
00:15:04,228 --> 00:15:06,179
of anyone getting
more gold stars than me.

403
00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:08,298
I'm such a child.

404
00:15:08,332 --> 00:15:10,634
You're not.

405
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:13,136
Listen, when you really
hate someone

406
00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:15,071
the way you hate Annie Kim,

407
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:18,742
or when you feel
the way I feel about you,

408
00:15:18,776 --> 00:15:23,029
the easy loophole through
the creepiness and danger

409
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,364
is to treat them like a child.

410
00:15:24,415 --> 00:15:26,533
"A chip off the old block,
you're the best, kiddo."

411
00:15:26,584 --> 00:15:27,951
It's a crutch.

412
00:15:27,985 --> 00:15:31,538
It's a way for me to tell you
how important you are

413
00:15:31,589 --> 00:15:33,423
from a distance.

414
00:15:33,457 --> 00:15:36,226
But now you're becoming this...

415
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:38,728
mature, self-possessed,
intelligent young woman,

416
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,597
and I can't keep
patting you on the head

417
00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:41,664
or talking down to you.

418
00:15:41,682 --> 00:15:44,267
But I like how close we are.

419
00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:46,870
I don't want to grow up if
it means losing what we have.

420
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,305
Well, tough, Annie.

421
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:51,274
You have to grow up because the
world needs more women like you.

422
00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:54,544
Can't keep doing
this forever, kiddo.

423
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,714
Can't we?

424
00:16:02,553 --> 00:16:03,703
- Nope. I can't, no.
- Nope, that's gross.

425
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:06,406
That feels gross.

426
00:16:06,457 --> 00:16:08,792
Well, I better go
check on the group.

427
00:16:08,826 --> 00:16:10,043
If they haven't left already.

428
00:16:10,077 --> 00:16:11,094
I'll follow you.

429
00:16:11,128 --> 00:16:12,879
From a respectable distance.

430
00:16:17,134 --> 00:16:18,835
Guys?

431
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,870
I'm sorry I put you
through that.

432
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,439
And I know it doesn't make up
for what happened,

433
00:16:22,473 --> 00:16:25,642
but would it help if I said

434
00:16:25,676 --> 00:16:27,777
I farted?

435
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,879
Annie, no.

436
00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:32,015
I can't let you fall
on that sword because...

437
00:16:32,049 --> 00:16:33,650
I farted.

438
00:16:33,684 --> 00:16:35,068
No, I farted.

439
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,486
I farted.

440
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,088
Guys, I wasn't doing
the Spartacus thing.

441
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,089
I farted.

442
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,090
No, seriously, I—

443
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,124
We all farted.

444
00:16:41,158 --> 00:16:44,294
Oh, you guys!

445
00:16:44,328 --> 00:16:45,829
- Annie...
- I'm farting now.

446
00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,230
Wait, why are you still here?

447
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:49,332
Abed may have figured out
a way we can still win.

448
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,500
Really? How?

449
00:16:50,534 --> 00:16:51,918
It's simple, really.
First we...

450
00:16:55,122 --> 00:16:56,122
Abed, what did I tell you?

451
00:16:56,173 --> 00:16:57,140
You can't just mumble nonsense.

452
00:16:57,174 --> 00:16:58,308
No one's cutting away.

453
00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:00,577
Okay, fine,
here's my actual plan.

454
00:17:18,729 --> 00:17:19,696
What is that?

455
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:21,064
It's from Britta.

456
00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:24,600
She's promising to disrupt
the model... U.N.

457
00:17:24,618 --> 00:17:27,003
She says she's gonna cause
a disruption that,

458
00:17:27,037 --> 00:17:29,539
while not completely illegal,
should be a real concern

459
00:17:29,573 --> 00:17:32,142
to campus... Security!

460
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,993
Oh, no.

461
00:17:34,044 --> 00:17:37,147
Maybe we should call
the real cops.

462
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,748
You know, back in the '80s,

463
00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,917
I had this real
piece of work protestor,

464
00:17:40,951 --> 00:17:42,519
used to always give me trouble.

465
00:17:42,553 --> 00:17:44,521
You know what happened to her?

466
00:17:44,555 --> 00:17:47,123
She incited a riot
at the W.T.O.

467
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:50,393
Got choked
until she passed out.

468
00:17:50,428 --> 00:17:55,131
By some real cop
with a real billyclub.

469
00:17:57,768 --> 00:18:01,805
Sometimes I wonder, you know?

470
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:03,973
Well, what are you waiting for?

471
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:08,011
Go show that hippie
how the world really works.

472
00:18:10,147 --> 00:18:14,350
Aren't you
forgetting something?

473
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,820
All in favor?

474
00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:18,054
Aye?

475
00:18:18,088 --> 00:18:20,540
Could you morons say aye
any slower? Come on.

476
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:35,004
- Greetings, people of Earth II.
- What is this?

477
00:18:35,039 --> 00:18:37,407
We represent
the United Nations from Earth I.

478
00:18:37,441 --> 00:18:40,343
Using our Switzerland's
hadron collider

479
00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:41,811
and resources from
every nation,

480
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:43,646
the people of our planet
have constructed

481
00:18:43,681 --> 00:18:45,582
a trans-dimensional
gateway here.

482
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:46,900
They can't do this.

483
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,751
The science works out.

484
00:18:48,786 --> 00:18:49,986
Yes.

485
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:52,222
We come to you with an offer.

486
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,224
We he achieved world peace,
tying our score with yours.

487
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,025
But we are willing
to concede our victory

488
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,328
if you agree conceding yours,

489
00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:02,398
forming one gigantic
United United Nations.

490
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,466
We did it.

491
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:04,767
You're a fool.

492
00:19:04,802 --> 00:19:07,770
Your ultimatum is itself
a technical act of aggression.

493
00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:10,740
If we simply refuse
to recognize your authority,

494
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:13,943
we still remain ahead
and you lose.

495
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,445
But you win a simple game.

496
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:18,581
The larger symbolic victory
will be ours.

497
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,750
Oh la la.

498
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:21,851
We refuse.

499
00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:23,653
I'll take the real victory.

500
00:19:23,687 --> 00:19:28,124
A logical, effective,
common sense move, Annie Kim.

501
00:19:28,158 --> 00:19:30,627
One which flies in the very face
of the United Nations itself,

502
00:19:30,661 --> 00:19:33,997
a fundamentally symbolic
organization

503
00:19:34,031 --> 00:19:36,466
founded on the principles
of high-minded rhetoric

504
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,467
and empty gestures.

505
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,636
Blue U.N. wins.

506
00:19:48,679 --> 00:19:49,679
What the hell are you doing?

507
00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:50,847
Nothing.

508
00:19:50,881 --> 00:19:54,417
And you can't do anything
to stop me.

509
00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:57,470
Did someone say
"can't do anything"?

510
00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:33,890
Oh, that's—
that's nice. No?

511
00:20:35,659 --> 00:20:37,960
I knew you'd come.

512
00:20:37,978 --> 00:20:40,813
You're so busted.

513
00:20:49,113 --> 00:20:51,114
Yes.

514
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,078
I told you to stop playing
Operation on me!

515
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,218
I'm not your damn board game!

516
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:12,719
At least you didn't get
my spare ribs.

517
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:22,384
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com