1 00:00:03,252 --> 00:00:05,582 Remember, you guys can have a deep too! 2 00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:07,682 And don't be afraid to play with the... 3 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:10,360 ruuubber spiiider! 4 00:00:10,485 --> 00:00:11,500 I'll ask again... 5 00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,129 - Are you sure I can't bring anything? - I don't understand. 6 00:00:15,295 --> 00:00:17,756 We're having a party, before we're going to the real party? 7 00:00:18,923 --> 00:00:21,093 I think you young people are just making this crap up. 8 00:00:21,259 --> 00:00:22,410 It's a pre-party! 9 00:00:22,535 --> 00:00:24,889 It's informal, intimate, and just for us. 10 00:00:25,055 --> 00:00:27,141 And I told you guys you didn't have to dress up. 11 00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:30,256 - We were wearing this when you called. - When we dress up, you'll know it. 12 00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:33,984 There's nothing in your playlist but spooky party, 13 00:00:34,109 --> 00:00:36,503 the Beetlejuice soundtrack, and NPR podcasts. 14 00:00:36,858 --> 00:00:39,706 We could listen to one of those! I have Michele Norris 15 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,585 interviewing Errol Morris. 16 00:00:42,214 --> 00:00:43,991 Don't worry, they address it. 17 00:00:44,157 --> 00:00:45,323 Let's make this quick. 18 00:00:45,448 --> 00:00:48,025 I got three more polite appearances to make tonight. 19 00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:51,332 I'm one of the Fast and Furious guys. 20 00:00:51,498 --> 00:00:53,915 - Which one? - I don't watch that shallow crap. 21 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,932 I just pick a costume girls will like. 22 00:00:56,695 --> 00:00:59,139 Jeff, can I have a quick conversation with you? 23 00:00:59,409 --> 00:01:01,217 Doubtful, but I support the dream. 24 00:01:04,052 --> 00:01:05,905 Remember last week, when I made you fill out 25 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:08,224 those anonymous personality tests for my psych class? 26 00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:10,069 If you dropped them in another puddle... 27 00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:12,891 No, I processed the results, as per my assignment. 28 00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:14,033 And, Jeff, 29 00:01:14,357 --> 00:01:15,903 one of our friends is... 30 00:01:16,289 --> 00:01:17,817 deeply disturbed. 31 00:01:18,691 --> 00:01:20,210 Trick or Dean! 32 00:01:20,937 --> 00:01:23,683 Don't forget to come by our Halloween scare-tacular dance, 33 00:01:23,808 --> 00:01:25,625 starting in the cafeteria at 9:30. 34 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:29,620 Also, I had the lights rigged to flicker because it's Halloween! 35 00:01:29,786 --> 00:01:32,706 - It's been happening for a week. - Halloween week! 36 00:01:32,872 --> 00:01:36,698 - The lights will work on November 1st? - All Saint's day... 37 00:01:36,823 --> 00:01:37,545 Month! 38 00:01:38,923 --> 00:01:41,399 - You were about to get ridiculous? - Look! 39 00:01:41,524 --> 00:01:45,060 One of the tests came back with 70 out of 75 red flags 40 00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:47,474 for an extreme personality disorder. 41 00:01:47,599 --> 00:01:48,764 Extreme, Jeff! 42 00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:50,141 Like a dorito? 43 00:01:50,307 --> 00:01:51,755 A sociopathic dorito. 44 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,680 A cool ranch lunatic. 45 00:01:53,949 --> 00:01:55,625 Only instead of Zest, Jeff, 46 00:01:56,424 --> 00:01:58,482 one member of our study group has... 47 00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:01,275 homicidal tendencies. 48 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:09,201 I think one member of our study group is an overzealous psych major. 49 00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:11,454 You probably just Britta'd the test results somehow. 50 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,733 No. I double-checked them. Wait. 51 00:02:14,095 --> 00:02:17,001 Are people using my name to mean "make a small mistake"? 52 00:02:38,188 --> 00:02:39,773 - Feygnasse Team - 53 00:02:41,775 --> 00:02:43,402 La Fabrique::. 54 00:02:43,568 --> 00:02:45,744 3x05: Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps 55 00:02:49,213 --> 00:02:51,791 Let's make this party fast and furious, in that order. 56 00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:53,564 I want to go to the dance. 57 00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:55,831 I heard the Dean's got free taco from the army. 58 00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:57,373 We can go to the dance in a bit. 59 00:02:57,499 --> 00:03:01,837 But first, why don't we tell some scaaary stories? 60 00:03:04,798 --> 00:03:07,023 I'll start with a story about a horrible fate 61 00:03:07,148 --> 00:03:08,477 befalling innocent people, 62 00:03:08,602 --> 00:03:10,829 and then I'm curious to get individual reactions. 63 00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:15,559 Once upon a time, a couple in a car making out or something. 64 00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:20,129 I think I heard something. 65 00:03:20,254 --> 00:03:22,037 Just the sound of my heart, baby. 66 00:03:23,902 --> 00:03:25,690 In the news tonight, tops story. 67 00:03:25,815 --> 00:03:28,061 An escaped convict from the asylum has escaped, 68 00:03:28,186 --> 00:03:30,116 and he's mental and he's on the loose and stuff. 69 00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:32,045 Oh, my God. That sounds dangerous. 70 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,382 I'm sure it's no biggie, but I am a horny man. 71 00:03:34,507 --> 00:03:35,715 I'm only half-present. 72 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,479 He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand, 73 00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:40,626 a hook thing where his hand should be. 74 00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:43,003 - You know what I mean. - That sounds dangerous. 75 00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:44,880 Fine, I'll get out and look. 76 00:03:47,119 --> 00:03:48,985 But then I'm entitled to sex. 77 00:03:53,805 --> 00:03:55,975 I'm getting stabbed with his hook hand thing. 78 00:03:56,141 --> 00:03:57,723 Oh, my God! No! 79 00:03:57,848 --> 00:03:59,436 I was right! 80 00:03:59,602 --> 00:04:01,923 And the woman was screaming and the man got killed. 81 00:04:03,354 --> 00:04:05,109 - How did you feel? - Embarrassed. 82 00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:06,651 That's an odd reaction. 83 00:04:07,559 --> 00:04:08,413 Seems fair. 84 00:04:08,538 --> 00:04:11,073 - What embarrassed you about it? - I didn't care about the characters. 85 00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:13,409 - Didn't care about them? - They were stupid. 86 00:04:13,871 --> 00:04:16,745 They put themselves in danger, when they were warned, the guy got out. 87 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,510 Do you believe because he was stupid he deserved to die? 88 00:04:19,914 --> 00:04:21,459 What kind of party is this? 89 00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:24,197 I suppose, from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. 90 00:04:24,322 --> 00:04:26,532 This is nonsense or even basic survival instinct. 91 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:29,602 That not scary cause the characters making choices the audience don't make. 92 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,844 Plus, you need a smarter lead. Here, like this. 93 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,555 It's a cold night in the woods. 94 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,598 We establish a traditional cabin, then cut to... 95 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,948 A log cabin so we could be intimate in safety, 'cause it's not the 50s, 96 00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:41,270 we don't have to park a car and neck at inspiration point. 97 00:04:41,436 --> 00:04:44,064 That makes sense. I'm turned on by how logical you are. 98 00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:46,567 I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry. 99 00:04:47,211 --> 00:04:49,827 I just brushed my teeth, this would be the optimal time to kiss. 100 00:04:52,169 --> 00:04:54,158 Enjoyable. Soft lips. The right level of moisture. 101 00:04:54,324 --> 00:04:55,875 - Do it again. - No. 102 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,067 We should listen to the news on this radio. 103 00:04:58,192 --> 00:04:59,758 I brought it as a cautionary measure, 104 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,539 'cause this cabin is near the local insane asylum. 105 00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:05,820 Is that why you were able to rent it at such a reasonable rate? 106 00:05:06,294 --> 00:05:08,380 - I hope you're as fertile as I am. - More. 107 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,530 Why are you doing the whole song? 108 00:05:32,696 --> 00:05:35,313 They wouldn't turn at the moment of the most pertinent news broadcast. 109 00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:37,868 It's too coincidental. But I'll jump forward in time. 110 00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:38,971 What was that? 111 00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:41,205 Based on what we just heard, but not just just heard, 112 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:45,209 I assume it's the hook-handed killer who escaped when the security failed. 113 00:05:45,375 --> 00:05:48,051 They shouldn't have cut corners, although it is understandable, 114 00:05:48,176 --> 00:05:49,839 given the recent economic downturn. 115 00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:52,508 Should we go check it out? 116 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,412 We should call 911 on my fully-charged cell phone, 117 00:05:55,537 --> 00:05:58,305 lock the doors, stand back to back in the room holding knives. 118 00:06:04,311 --> 00:06:05,424 I love you... 119 00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:13,863 Did these people ever die or what? 120 00:06:14,029 --> 00:06:14,991 Eventually, 121 00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:17,028 once it had been... 122 00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:18,693 eaaarned. 123 00:06:19,902 --> 00:06:22,616 Well, Britta. It looks like you're barking up the wrong tree. 124 00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:25,025 You want to hear a scary story? 125 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,625 I've got a scary story. 126 00:06:30,448 --> 00:06:32,822 Thank you for pulling me from that carriage. 127 00:06:33,242 --> 00:06:35,300 I don't know what could have frightened my horses so. 128 00:06:35,425 --> 00:06:37,773 Many vile creatures make these woods their home. 129 00:06:38,303 --> 00:06:39,696 Some even warn of... 130 00:06:40,171 --> 00:06:40,973 monsters. 131 00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,893 I don't believe in monsters. 132 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,603 I believe every man has good within. 133 00:06:46,461 --> 00:06:48,772 I must retrieve my books from the debris tomorrow. 134 00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:50,443 I am a schoolteacher, 135 00:06:50,568 --> 00:06:52,610 and many children rely on me to educate them. 136 00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:54,614 Be gone, innocent one! 137 00:06:54,739 --> 00:06:55,654 What's wrong? 138 00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:58,132 You may choose not to believe in them, 139 00:06:58,509 --> 00:07:00,403 but I am a monster. 140 00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,327 And I must feed. 141 00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:07,862 Do not judge me for my weakness. 142 00:07:07,987 --> 00:07:10,878 Stifle your slackened maw, you drained and tainted bitch dog. 143 00:07:13,296 --> 00:07:14,340 I'm fine with this. 144 00:07:15,465 --> 00:07:16,300 Wait! 145 00:07:18,859 --> 00:07:20,596 Teach me to read. 146 00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:25,935 Sound it out. 147 00:07:26,538 --> 00:07:28,041 Wo... Rd dog. 148 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,298 Hates... 149 00:07:31,376 --> 00:07:32,181 Cats. 150 00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:33,622 "Reason not the need! 151 00:07:33,747 --> 00:07:36,946 "Our basest beggars are in the poorest things superfluous." 152 00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:43,234 You should be proud of how much I've changed you. 153 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:44,537 Thanks for helping me, 154 00:07:45,245 --> 00:07:47,688 but I'm afraid some monsters 155 00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:49,250 cannot change. 156 00:07:51,445 --> 00:07:53,018 Resist your craving! 157 00:07:53,718 --> 00:07:55,358 Just pick up a good book 158 00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:56,492 and read! 159 00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:58,008 Your porcelain neck, 160 00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,177 in the light of the full moon, 161 00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:02,346 too appetizing. 162 00:08:02,893 --> 00:08:04,136 Unfortunate... 163 00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:05,988 for you. 164 00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:09,588 You see, some monsters cannot change. 165 00:08:10,078 --> 00:08:11,981 But others can. 166 00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:13,524 What is this? 167 00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:14,961 I'm a werewolf 168 00:08:15,086 --> 00:08:18,280 that feeds on selfish vampires. 169 00:08:22,949 --> 00:08:24,950 And she ripped into his torso, 170 00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:27,773 like a gerbil shredding a quaker oats box, 171 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,832 sending chunks of viscera 172 00:08:29,998 --> 00:08:32,918 and an aerosol mist of blood all over the skanky concubine. 173 00:08:34,294 --> 00:08:36,547 Then, she flossed her teeth with his tendons. 174 00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:38,104 And because he was a vampire, 175 00:08:38,229 --> 00:08:40,468 he lived through all of it. 176 00:08:40,634 --> 00:08:43,138 He had to watch her swallow his last eyeball. 177 00:08:43,263 --> 00:08:45,299 She kept it attached to the optic nerve, 178 00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,079 so he could see down her throat, 179 00:08:47,204 --> 00:08:50,303 to his own partially digested flesh 180 00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:51,228 in... 181 00:08:51,509 --> 00:08:52,688 her stomach. 182 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,739 See? There was a twist. 183 00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:17,421 I didn't know you were such a fan of... gore. 184 00:09:17,587 --> 00:09:18,541 It's Halloween. 185 00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,925 If you're gonna tell us a scary story, give it some texture. 186 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,472 Wasn't that great. 187 00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:23,844 Your texture was so 188 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,810 discompassionately macabre, 189 00:09:26,935 --> 00:09:29,636 as if without the slightest regard for human life. 190 00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:33,229 Stop pinning ribbons to her. Why Annie have to be good at everything? 191 00:09:33,738 --> 00:09:37,013 You guys wanna hear a real, legit scary story? 192 00:09:40,584 --> 00:09:42,196 Is there anyone? Help. 193 00:09:42,876 --> 00:09:44,240 Thank God, an old doctor. 194 00:09:44,406 --> 00:09:47,014 We're top gun fighter pilots, the best of the best. 195 00:09:48,207 --> 00:09:49,453 Our F-15 went down. 196 00:09:49,619 --> 00:09:52,468 I thought I heard something awesome out there. 197 00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:56,752 Please, come in, for first aids and what have you. 198 00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,672 Drinks from a stranger. 199 00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:01,681 So medical. Thank you. 200 00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:14,937 Wakey-wakey. 201 00:10:15,487 --> 00:10:16,480 What's going on? 202 00:10:16,646 --> 00:10:20,025 This cabin is my lab where I do weird experiments on people. 203 00:10:21,192 --> 00:10:22,027 Look! 204 00:10:23,648 --> 00:10:25,322 Forced to be together forever! 205 00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:29,393 I sewed you together. I totally sewed you together! 206 00:10:34,697 --> 00:10:36,709 Now, do we have E.S.P.? 207 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:39,295 We're psychic now, we can destroy him. 208 00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,809 - You tried to destroy us... - But you only made us... 209 00:10:59,934 --> 00:11:01,496 More awesome! 210 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:03,444 I'm jealous! 211 00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:11,327 Now you are the subject. 212 00:11:11,493 --> 00:11:13,162 What? What? Tell me more. 213 00:11:13,328 --> 00:11:15,039 We sewed your butt to your chest! 214 00:11:18,798 --> 00:11:19,799 Wait. 215 00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:22,220 You fools! 216 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:24,345 By sewing my butt to my chest, 217 00:11:24,470 --> 00:11:26,884 you've given me boobs I can touch all day. 218 00:11:27,713 --> 00:11:28,886 With what? 219 00:11:45,293 --> 00:11:46,362 Feet hands. 220 00:11:46,528 --> 00:11:49,448 What did I do to deserve that? Keep me out of your stupid stories. 221 00:11:49,614 --> 00:11:52,993 I didn't say it was you. He was a crazy, old, racist doctor. 222 00:11:53,159 --> 00:11:55,121 I'm your crazy, old, racist friend. 223 00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:58,165 I was, anyway. Now I'm not so sure. 224 00:11:58,331 --> 00:11:59,659 It's just a story. 225 00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:00,626 Yeah? 226 00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:01,836 So is this. 227 00:12:05,255 --> 00:12:07,428 - Come back to bed, Magnum. - In a moment, girls. 228 00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:10,427 I'm just enjoying an expensive post-coital brandy. 229 00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:17,542 Whats we gots heres? 230 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:19,520 It's a home invasion, you jive mother. 231 00:12:19,686 --> 00:12:21,453 Easy, easy, easy. 232 00:12:21,885 --> 00:12:23,190 Nobody has to get hurt. 233 00:12:23,356 --> 00:12:24,759 That's right, honky. 234 00:12:24,884 --> 00:12:28,708 You take it real easy and give us your brandy and hubcaps. 235 00:12:30,005 --> 00:12:31,033 Okay, but... 236 00:12:32,824 --> 00:12:33,826 Oh, man. 237 00:12:37,454 --> 00:12:39,832 You are still relevant! 238 00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:42,168 Oh, my god! 239 00:12:45,086 --> 00:12:47,542 I'm ready for my birthday spanking. 240 00:12:47,887 --> 00:12:49,842 Which of you girls knows how to count to 30? 241 00:12:54,365 --> 00:12:57,808 What in the hell was that? 242 00:12:58,409 --> 00:13:00,144 That wasn't even a ghost story. 243 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:03,272 It was like an episode of some show we're all too young to have heard of. 244 00:13:03,438 --> 00:13:05,232 Then I chopped up your bodies. 245 00:13:05,398 --> 00:13:06,650 It's us, and you, Magnum? 246 00:13:06,816 --> 00:13:08,444 Still am, Pakistan. Wanna try me? 247 00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:09,612 Guys, 248 00:13:09,778 --> 00:13:11,597 these stories are getting personal. 249 00:13:11,722 --> 00:13:13,420 And so needlessly violent. 250 00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:17,095 And the days when ghost stories were about good versus evil? 251 00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:18,954 Once upon a time... 252 00:13:23,455 --> 00:13:25,499 Man. My drugs are wearing off. 253 00:13:25,624 --> 00:13:26,698 Who's got more? 254 00:13:27,712 --> 00:13:29,272 Here you go, baby. 255 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,593 All right, all right. 256 00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:34,720 That is my kind of pot bong. 257 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,227 Jango, check it out. 258 00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:44,313 Swarms of locusts and tornadoes of frogs. 259 00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:47,445 I don't care, I lived in New York. 260 00:13:56,088 --> 00:13:57,785 It's like New York out there. 261 00:13:57,951 --> 00:14:00,367 We interrupt your death metal to bring you some heavy news. 262 00:14:00,492 --> 00:14:03,374 All the good Christians got raptured, so if you're hearing this, 263 00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:06,836 the good news is you're the coolest people in the world. 264 00:14:07,728 --> 00:14:10,544 The bad news is the world is over. This is NPR. 265 00:14:10,669 --> 00:14:12,680 Man. End of days? 266 00:14:12,805 --> 00:14:14,802 Could anything suck harder than this? 267 00:14:16,209 --> 00:14:18,097 Hel-lo! 268 00:14:19,556 --> 00:14:20,554 Devil here. 269 00:14:20,679 --> 00:14:23,060 Just popping by with a little damnation orientation. 270 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:24,395 Here's the sched. 271 00:14:24,884 --> 00:14:27,261 At 10:00, you'll be buried neck-deep in scorpions. 272 00:14:27,386 --> 00:14:29,900 11:15, lava enemas, followed by Pilates. 273 00:14:30,066 --> 00:14:31,652 - That's good. - I like Pilates. 274 00:14:31,818 --> 00:14:33,737 It's a demon that eats your genitals. 275 00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:37,853 But first, stabby-stabby. 276 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:41,245 For whom do we cry out? 277 00:14:41,812 --> 00:14:43,789 All the good people are gone! 278 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:52,173 Look! Our friend we used to pick on for being Christian. 279 00:14:52,339 --> 00:14:54,456 Oh, she looks great. 280 00:14:57,177 --> 00:14:59,513 A righteous wind blows! 281 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,349 Off to Pilates! 282 00:15:04,059 --> 00:15:06,067 Thank you for saving us, Shirley. 283 00:15:06,502 --> 00:15:09,681 Your name's not Shirley, this is a story about strangers. 284 00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:11,775 Anywho, take us to heaven, please? 285 00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:15,083 I cannot. 286 00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:18,324 I just came to say good-bye on my way to Abraham's bosom. 287 00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:20,075 Bye. 288 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:23,728 I forgive you. 289 00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:28,708 Gay marriage! 290 00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:32,660 And he chainsawed them to bits! 291 00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:36,468 Then he put 'em back together. And then he chainsawed them again! 292 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,593 Forever. 293 00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:42,000 Where was Jeff in that story? And why was my name Jango? 294 00:15:45,949 --> 00:15:48,305 Shirley, that wasn't a horror story. 295 00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:49,271 A sermon. 296 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:51,342 You ruined a Britta party. 297 00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:53,317 That's like letting poop spoil. 298 00:15:57,237 --> 00:15:58,030 Wait! 299 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,867 We have to figure this out. 300 00:16:02,033 --> 00:16:03,786 - What? - Long story short. 301 00:16:03,952 --> 00:16:05,988 The psych tests came back. 302 00:16:06,113 --> 00:16:09,041 Turns out one of you is probably a homicidal maniac. 303 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,129 That's stupid. 304 00:16:12,669 --> 00:16:16,619 I have a responsibility to figure out which one of you is sick, 305 00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:18,250 and get you the treatment you need. 306 00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:21,095 You're a danger to yourself and others in your current state. 307 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:23,514 We know each other. None of us are murderers. 308 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,961 No, but one of you has the potential. 309 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,602 If we leave here now, do you know what might happen? 310 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,257 Britta, what are you describing? 311 00:16:58,752 --> 00:16:59,550 What? 312 00:16:59,716 --> 00:17:02,052 Who has images like that in their head? 313 00:17:02,218 --> 00:17:05,181 The same kind that would make us tell stories to study our minds. 314 00:17:05,347 --> 00:17:07,141 - One of you... - One of us? 315 00:17:07,307 --> 00:17:09,059 You took that test too, right? 316 00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:11,479 What are you saying? 317 00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,320 Oh, my God! 318 00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:18,527 What if it is me? 319 00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:22,766 Wait. This is crazy! 320 00:17:22,891 --> 00:17:25,743 We freak out because it's Halloween. We just need to settle down. 321 00:17:31,706 --> 00:17:34,043 - I kill you. - You don't want to be barium sulfated! 322 00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:38,672 Stay back, psychos or I'll slit your throats. 323 00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:41,175 What has happened to all of you? 324 00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:44,345 You heard all the stories. Anyone here could be a psycho! 325 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,909 Thinking that is what's psycho. 326 00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:49,892 Here, I have a story that I think might help. 327 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,071 Before you do anything, tell us why you kill people. 328 00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:04,490 Fear. 329 00:18:06,032 --> 00:18:07,831 I kill because I'm afraid. 330 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,496 Give me a hug. 331 00:18:12,112 --> 00:18:13,290 Get in here. 332 00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:17,878 - Love hugs, love hugs. - Let it out, it's okay? 333 00:18:21,074 --> 00:18:22,007 You're welcome. 334 00:18:22,173 --> 00:18:24,093 That was the gayest crap I've ever heard. 335 00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:25,219 What the hell? 336 00:18:25,554 --> 00:18:28,347 Why are you so determined to have us relax, put down our weapons? 337 00:18:28,513 --> 00:18:31,086 Maybe he's a remorseless madman with no empathy, 338 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,310 who eludes detection by manipulating others. 339 00:18:33,476 --> 00:18:34,562 Yeah, Jeff. 340 00:18:34,728 --> 00:18:36,772 We should go through your test answers. 341 00:18:36,938 --> 00:18:38,566 I filled mine out randomly. 342 00:18:39,009 --> 00:18:40,067 - Come on. - What? 343 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:42,475 You idiot! 344 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,157 That was probably the test that returned the psychotic result! 345 00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:47,121 Maybe. 346 00:18:47,246 --> 00:18:48,492 What kind of sociopath 347 00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:51,120 doesn't offer that information, like, an hour ago? 348 00:18:51,286 --> 00:18:52,574 I'm no sociopath. 349 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,277 I always know what I'm doing is wrong. 350 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,559 I don't like taking tests, doing work, or getting yelled at. 351 00:18:58,684 --> 00:19:01,630 So if you think about it, that makes me the sanest person here. 352 00:19:04,841 --> 00:19:06,051 Is this your test? 353 00:19:06,217 --> 00:19:07,470 A bunch of bubbles. 354 00:19:07,785 --> 00:19:08,761 Wait! 355 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,086 Give me those. 356 00:19:10,513 --> 00:19:13,578 Why are the scores on the bottoms? They should... 357 00:19:15,249 --> 00:19:18,939 Britta, look at the arrow. You ran these upside-down. 358 00:19:19,105 --> 00:19:19,899 Britta'd. 359 00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:23,444 Whatever. I'll run them through again. 360 00:19:25,236 --> 00:19:27,029 You're gonna stop using my name 361 00:19:27,154 --> 00:19:31,368 to mean "making a tiny and understandable mistake." 362 00:19:37,707 --> 00:19:41,796 - So we're all insane. - Well, except for this person. 363 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,615 Is that one mine? 364 00:19:44,047 --> 00:19:45,727 We should probably figure it out? 365 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,469 If one of us isn't crazy, it's fair that we know who they are. 366 00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:52,431 Or we could hold on to the notion that any one of us might be sane. 367 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,602 We learned an important lesson. 368 00:19:57,894 --> 00:20:01,607 We should never make the Britta of Britta-ing each other's feelings. 369 00:20:02,628 --> 00:20:03,859 You're using it wrong. 370 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:05,595 You Britta'd "Britta'd." 371 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,449 - Way to pull an Abed. - I don't get it. 372 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,531 Don't Pierce. 373 00:20:08,697 --> 00:20:09,945 I don't get it. 374 00:20:25,797 --> 00:20:26,757 Guys! 375 00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,551 It's been three days. 376 00:20:28,676 --> 00:20:30,476 When you gonna let me go? 377 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:32,617 At least, say something. 378 00:20:32,997 --> 00:20:33,842 Guys! 379 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,309 Should we let him go? 380 00:20:37,579 --> 00:20:38,715 Let me think. 381 00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,227 More brandy? 382 00:20:41,352 --> 00:20:42,802 Don't mind if I do. 383 00:20:46,372 --> 00:20:49,006 Should we get back to our F-15 we repaired with our mind powers? 384 00:20:49,131 --> 00:20:51,410 - I was thinking the same thing. - I know! 385 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:52,790 Jinx! Double jinx! 386 00:20:52,915 --> 00:20:53,965 Triple jinx! 387 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:56,770 Troy and Abed sewn together!