1
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Happy Friday. What are you

2
00:00:04,813 --> 00:00:07,691
doing this weekend?

3
00:00:07,691 --> 00:00:11,319
The question is, who am I

4
00:00:07,691 --> 00:00:11,319
doing this weekend?

5
00:00:11,319 --> 00:00:13,948
He's asking because

6
00:00:11,319 --> 00:00:13,948
he's forgotten. It's nobody.

7
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,450
I'm volunteering

8
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,450
at the animal hospital.

9
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,077
Aw.

10
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Animal hospital?

11
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The animals are patients.

12
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Makes sense.

13
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Dr. Zizmor's

14
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letting me work off

15
00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:23,707
the cost of

16
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Daniel's surgery.

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You won't spend money

18
00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:25,417
on a phone,

19
00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:27,544
but you got Lasik

20
00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:27,544
for your cat?

21
00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:29,546
He only has

22
00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:29,546
the one eye, Jeff.

23
00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:32,049
I can't exactly buy him

24
00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:32,049
a cat monocle, can I?

25
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,467
It's pretentious.

26
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,136
And for your information,

27
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,136
this is a Totorola.

28
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:42,434
Troy and I will be having

29
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:42,434
a special Saturday night,

30
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:45,228
as in Dark Knight.

31
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:45,228
Oh! It came!

32
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:48,065
Our limited-edition,

33
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:48,065
$299 Dark Knight DVD

34
00:00:48,065 --> 00:00:50,734
with bonus footage, commentary,

35
00:00:48,065 --> 00:00:50,734
and autograph,

36
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:53,737
including a personalized

37
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:53,737
message of up to four words!

38
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:57,157
"Abed is Batman now,

39
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:57,157
Christian Bale."

40
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,701
It's official.

41
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,701
From the man himself.

42
00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,453
May I have that back?

43
00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,453
Thank you.

44
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:03,455
If you see this lying out,

45
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:03,455
I'm using it,

46
00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:05,332
so don't take it

47
00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:05,332
and dump it out.

48
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,583
Is this about your noodles?

49
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,502
I didn't say that.

50
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,628
Yeah!

51
00:01:09,628 --> 00:01:11,839
Into your face!

52
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,632
Your tears reveal

53
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,632
your weakness!

54
00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:16,301
What is it with foosball?

55
00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:16,301
They've been at it for weeks.

56
00:01:16,301 --> 00:01:18,887
They're European. It's more

57
00:01:16,301 --> 00:01:18,887
important over there.

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Foosball's the soccer

59
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of ping-pong.

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Eats it! Eats it!

61
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,100
I can't take it anymore.

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Let them be.

63
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,893
Gentlemen,

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my name is

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Clarence Thaddeus Foos.

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My grandfather,

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Fletcher Morton Foos,

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invented this game

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for one purpose,

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to have the loudest,

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dumbest thing happen.

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Now it has. The game

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00:01:33,276 --> 00:01:36,530
of foosball is completed.

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You're free to return

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00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:40,117
to your hearing-impaired

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00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:40,117
families.

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00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:45,455
We'll stop if you can

78
00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:45,455
score a point on us.

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00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:48,249
Tempting, but then wouldn't I

80
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:48,249
be playing foosball?

81
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:51,920
And, if so, how would I not

82
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:51,920
be a loud, weird knob?

83
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,423
Free shot. I'm not

84
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,423
touching the foosenschaften.

85
00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:57,843
Sorry, Luftballons.

86
00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:57,843
I'm above it.

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00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,930
Boo-yah!

88
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:03,932
I wish there was

89
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:03,932
a word to describe

90
00:02:03,932 --> 00:02:06,393
the pleasure I feel

91
00:02:03,932 --> 00:02:06,393
at viewing misfortune.

92
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It's the face

93
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,729
of a broken man.

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00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,438
Jeff. Smile.

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00:02:10,438 --> 00:02:11,940
Uh, uh...

96
00:02:10,438 --> 00:02:11,940
Ooh!

97
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:14,234
They, uh...

98
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:14,234
They come in a six-pack.

99
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,028
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE"

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00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,028
PLAYING]

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00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:46,808
Oh...

102
00:02:46,808 --> 00:02:48,518
Buttered noodles.

103
00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:54,441
I'm allowed to throw out

104
00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:54,441
the dust, right?

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00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,651
Yeah.

106
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:19,925
What's wrong?

107
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:23,344
I... I...

108
00:03:26,347 --> 00:03:27,724
Why?

109
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:29,434
I stepped on it.

110
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:29,434
Why?

111
00:03:29,434 --> 00:03:32,062
I was dusting the TV.

112
00:03:29,434 --> 00:03:32,062
Why?

113
00:03:32,062 --> 00:03:33,939
I can get a new one

114
00:03:32,062 --> 00:03:33,939
before he gets home.

115
00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,733
Oh, sure, Annie. And then

116
00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,733
we just have to record

117
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,736
fake exclusive commentary

118
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,736
by Christian Bale.

119
00:03:39,736 --> 00:03:43,073
Go ahead, you first.

120
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This scene was a challenge

121
00:03:43,073 --> 00:03:45,533
to all involved...

122
00:03:43,073 --> 00:03:45,533
Stop it! That's not an option!

123
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,619
The disc

124
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,619
is irreplaceably awesome!

125
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,830
What if we got

126
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,830
a different disc, and...

127
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:53,333
Know how many sitcoms have

128
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:53,333
done the "secretly replace

129
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,753
a broken, priceless item"

130
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,753
thing? 'Cause Abed does.

131
00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,630
Abed knows everything,

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00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:00,757
You think you can

133
00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:00,757
think your way out of this

134
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:05,053
with your thinkiness,

135
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:05,053
but don't think too much.

136
00:04:05,053 --> 00:04:06,763
You just have to confess.

137
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,348
Okay?

138
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,348
Okay.

139
00:04:17,607 --> 00:04:19,943
We shot this on location...

140
00:04:19,943 --> 00:04:22,029
He's right. Won't work.

141
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,995
Jeffrey?

142
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,995
What are you doing?

143
00:04:29,995 --> 00:04:32,289
Hmm? Oh. You know,

144
00:04:29,995 --> 00:04:32,289
I just thought

145
00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:34,666
next time those Deutsch bags

146
00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:34,666
try to show off,

147
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,543
maybe I can catch them

148
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,543
by surprise.

149
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,962
You don't need to worry

150
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,962
what foreigners think.

151
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:41,631
That's your birthright

152
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:41,631
as an American.

153
00:04:41,631 --> 00:04:44,634
Okay.

154
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:46,887
Small confession.

155
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,347
I used to love foosball.

156
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:50,473
It was a great

157
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:50,473
after-school game

158
00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:52,600
for a lonely kid

159
00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:52,600
with no dad.

160
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,019
Just masculine enough

161
00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:56,271
without having to know

162
00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:56,271
how to throw or catch.

163
00:04:56,271 --> 00:04:59,566
I have seen you throw.

164
00:04:56,271 --> 00:04:59,566
And it was fun.

165
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,903
Till I started getting bullied

166
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,903
by people like those Germans.

167
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,238
So I quit.

168
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,781
Well, you did

169
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,781
the right thing.

170
00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:10,535
Foosball is a vile game

171
00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:10,535
for vile people.

172
00:05:10,535 --> 00:05:12,037
You wouldn't get it.

173
00:05:12,037 --> 00:05:14,789
It's a guy thing,

174
00:05:12,037 --> 00:05:14,789
not a fresh-baked-pie thing.

175
00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:17,918
Well, I might get it a little.

176
00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:35,227
You don't know me.

177
00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:42,483
Ho... ly... crap.

178
00:05:42,483 --> 00:05:44,485
I think I figured out

179
00:05:42,483 --> 00:05:44,485
the viewing order.

180
00:05:44,485 --> 00:05:46,487
Original version,

181
00:05:44,485 --> 00:05:46,487
director's cut,

182
00:05:46,487 --> 00:05:49,824
director's cut with commentary,

183
00:05:46,487 --> 00:05:49,824
original version cool-down.

184
00:05:49,824 --> 00:05:53,078
Yeah, we'll see.

185
00:05:49,824 --> 00:05:53,078
Mm-hm.

186
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:57,249
Oh, my God, you guys.

187
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:57,249
We've been robbed!

188
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:04,131
Oh, man. I can't believe

189
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:04,131
we got robbed.

190
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,050
Shirley, Shirley.

191
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,050
You have to teach me.

192
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:09,468
Please, help me beat

193
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:09,468
those evil power Krauts.

194
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:11,096
Don't you get it, Jeff?

195
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:14,724
They're not evil people

196
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:14,724
that are good at foosball.

197
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:17,727
They are good at foosball

198
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:17,727
because they're evil.

199
00:06:17,727 --> 00:06:20,188
It's an evil game that

200
00:06:17,727 --> 00:06:20,188
brings out the worst in us,

201
00:06:20,188 --> 00:06:21,606
like out-of-town weddings

202
00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:23,566
where the reception's

203
00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:23,566
in the same place.

204
00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:26,194
Great. After three years

205
00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:26,194
of religious advice

206
00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:27,737
and carb-laden pastries,

207
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:31,032
you finally have one thing

208
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:31,032
I actually need, and...

209
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,660
I'm sorry.

210
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,204
Um, that was rude.

211
00:06:36,204 --> 00:06:39,416
It shouldn't be

212
00:06:36,204 --> 00:06:39,416
so important to me.

213
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:41,542
I'll, uh...

214
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:41,542
I'll see you Monday.

215
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:44,921
Jeff...

216
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,883
Tomorrow, dawn,

217
00:06:48,883 --> 00:06:50,135
be in the student lounge.

218
00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:52,220
Shirley, you are the best.

219
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,312
Dear Lord,

220
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,312
please forgive me.

221
00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,481
And please

222
00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,481
have mercy on him.

223
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,191
The stakes have

224
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,191
never been higher.

225
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,609
Shut up, Leonard.

226
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,609
I found your YouTube page.

227
00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:08,820
What's the point

228
00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:08,820
reviewing frozen pizza?

229
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,613
You're talking about it.

230
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,533
Well, that is true.

231
00:07:17,662 --> 00:07:19,914
Now, Jeffrey,

232
00:07:17,662 --> 00:07:19,914
the key to winning foosball

233
00:07:19,914 --> 00:07:22,625
is to tap into your darkness,

234
00:07:19,914 --> 00:07:22,625
so promise you won't judge

235
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:24,461
the side of me

236
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:24,461
that might come out.

237
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:27,881
Shirley, I'm gonna be

238
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:27,881
perfectly blunt with you.

239
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,632
The few times you've been bad

240
00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:31,259
are the times

241
00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:31,259
I've liked you most.

242
00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:32,969
Really?

243
00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:32,969
Remember making fun

244
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:35,889
of Britta's boyfriend's nipples?

245
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:35,889
They were tiny.

246
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,058
Remember what you did

247
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,058
to Pierce's hoagie?

248
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,394
That was so disturbing,

249
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,394
I almost proposed.

250
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:43,438
Now, come on,

251
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:43,438
show me how to dominate.

252
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:47,442
All right, Winger,

253
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:47,442
hands on the grips.

254
00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:51,154
I'm coming up on your

255
00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:51,154
right side in three, two, one!

256
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:53,698
Know why you can't stop me?

257
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:53,698
I'm not playing a game.

258
00:07:53,698 --> 00:07:55,992
For you, it's

259
00:07:53,698 --> 00:07:55,992
winning and losing.

260
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:57,827
For me, it's

261
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:57,827
life and death. Unh!

262
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:00,455
That's how I win.

263
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:00,455
That's where you have to go.

264
00:08:00,455 --> 00:08:03,250
No more thought,

265
00:08:00,455 --> 00:08:03,250
no more feeling.

266
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,127
Kill or be killed. Kill

267
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,127
or be killed, little man.

268
00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:09,130
Think when this mattered, before

269
00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:09,130
you got to be too cool. Unh!

270
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,383
Stop acting like

271
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,383
you're not ashamed.

272
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:14,844
Follow that shame to the fear.

273
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:14,844
Follow that fear to the rage.

274
00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:17,180
You put that rage...

275
00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:17,180
Aah!

276
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,599
Up your ass, turkey.

277
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,599
Ha, ha!

278
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,893
There's only two ways

279
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,893
off this table,

280
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,686
kill or be killed.

281
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,686
Say it.

282
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:25,522
Kill or be killed.

283
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:25,522
Say it, mumbles!

284
00:08:25,522 --> 00:08:27,648
Kill or be killed.

285
00:08:25,522 --> 00:08:27,648
Kill!

286
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:30,860
Kill! Kill!

287
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:30,860
Kill! Kill!

288
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,404
Yeah!

289
00:08:34,406 --> 00:08:36,241
You called me turkey.

290
00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:37,451
I love it.

291
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,958
Sorry we couldn't get a car

292
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,958
over here until now.

293
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,210
Our captain was killed

294
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,210
on duty last night.

295
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,087
My God,

296
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,087
I'm so sorry.

297
00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:50,422
Yeah. Good man.

298
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:52,591
Leaves behind two kids

299
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:52,591
and a pregnant wife.

300
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,634
So you're missing

301
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,634
a Batman DVD?

302
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,512
My Dark Knight extended

303
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,512
extended cut, wasn't insured.

304
00:08:57,512 --> 00:08:59,931
No sign of forced entry

305
00:08:57,512 --> 00:08:59,931
on your door or windows.

306
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,516
Sure it wasn't misplaced?

307
00:09:01,516 --> 00:09:04,519
Someone broke in.

308
00:09:01,516 --> 00:09:04,519
Some of my jewelry's missing.

309
00:09:04,519 --> 00:09:05,937
You sure about that, Annie?

310
00:09:05,937 --> 00:09:08,064
Mmm-hmm.

311
00:09:05,937 --> 00:09:08,064
My necklace.

312
00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:09,649
It was gold.

313
00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:09,649
White gold.

314
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,235
With emeralds.

315
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,235
And my name engraved in Hebrew.

316
00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:14,112
It was a bat mitzvah gift

317
00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:14,112
from my nana.

318
00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:16,156
She was a Rockette.

319
00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:16,156
She married a Count.

320
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,617
He was blind.

321
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,617
He loved her for her mind.

322
00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:21,035
Good color for the report,

323
00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:21,035
but I got to be honest,

324
00:09:21,035 --> 00:09:23,371
small stuff like this

325
00:09:21,035 --> 00:09:23,371
almost never turns up.

326
00:09:23,371 --> 00:09:26,166
Oh, no, Abed.

327
00:09:23,371 --> 00:09:26,166
We'll be in touch.

328
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,836
You look familiar. Did I pretend

329
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,836
to shoot a guy in front of you

330
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,129
to teach you gun safety?

331
00:09:33,923 --> 00:09:35,800
I'm really good at faces.

332
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,345
I guess the only upside is

333
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,305
it's brought us closer

334
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,305
as roommates.

335
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:43,141
Something doesn't add up.

336
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:43,141
There was no forced entry.

337
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:45,310
Had to be an inside job.

338
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:45,310
We don't know that.

339
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:48,021
Instead of taking cash,

340
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:48,021
pharmaceuticals, laptops,

341
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:52,317
they take my Batman DVD, and

342
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:52,317
one piece of ornate jewelry?

343
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:53,610
Nana gave it.

344
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:53,610
It's smoke.

345
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,278
It's a ruse, a lie.

346
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,278
Hmm?

347
00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:57,071
I think I know

348
00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:57,071
what happened.

349
00:09:57,071 --> 00:10:00,783
Abed, I...

350
00:09:57,071 --> 00:10:00,783
The landlord did it.

351
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:03,744
It all makes sense. Rick has

352
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:03,744
keys to every apartment, means.

353
00:10:03,744 --> 00:10:06,498
Knows when we're coming

354
00:10:03,744 --> 00:10:06,498
and going, opportunity.

355
00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:09,834
He dressed as The Joker

356
00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:09,834
for Halloween, motive.

357
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,671
Hmm.

358
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,671
Something's got to be done.

359
00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:14,548
Oh, let's not leap

360
00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:14,548
to thing-doing.

361
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,841
Right, Annie?

362
00:10:21,095 --> 00:10:22,722
Double strike.

363
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,432
Got it.

364
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,432
Back blast.

365
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,227
Boom!

366
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,227
Viper shot.

367
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:30,397
Nailed it!

368
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:30,397
Oh, look.

369
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,357
How cute.

370
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,357
You do like foosball.

371
00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:34,442
You just have to practice

372
00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:34,442
with your mama.

373
00:10:34,442 --> 00:10:36,861
What are you doing here?

374
00:10:34,442 --> 00:10:36,861
Shouldn't you be making

375
00:10:36,861 --> 00:10:39,030
weird art movies

376
00:10:36,861 --> 00:10:39,030
or well-engineered cars?

377
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,781
Take that back!

378
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,781
We came to play.

379
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,743
Get away from our table.

380
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,743
We're using it, strudel-brain.

381
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,286
Nice.

382
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,286
Play us for it.

383
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:46,621
Fine.

384
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:46,621
Monday morning.

385
00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:48,582
Only let's make it

386
00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:48,582
interesting.

387
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,500
The losers never use

388
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,500
this table again.

389
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,378
Oh, you are so on

390
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,378
that things have now become

391
00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:55,129
very much like

392
00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:55,129
Donkey Kong.

393
00:10:55,129 --> 00:10:56,756
We're gonna

394
00:10:55,129 --> 00:10:56,756
kick das butt.

395
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,007
Nice.

396
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,007
Thank you.

397
00:10:58,007 --> 00:10:59,718
Enough Teutonic punnery.

398
00:10:59,718 --> 00:11:02,053
Monday morning,

399
00:10:59,718 --> 00:11:02,053
you get this.

400
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,184
Were you guys walking

401
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,184
with a soccer ball

402
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:11,521
so you could do that?

403
00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:13,732
They left the ball

404
00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:13,732
and everything.

405
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:17,569
They were literally walking

406
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:17,569
around with it like a prop.

407
00:11:17,569 --> 00:11:20,321
That's like a $25 bit,

408
00:11:17,569 --> 00:11:20,321
and it's not even that good.

409
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:23,157
You have got to come clean.

410
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:25,784
I don't know what he's doing,

411
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:25,784
but it's dramatic.

412
00:11:25,784 --> 00:11:28,288
I'm sure he's moved on

413
00:11:25,784 --> 00:11:28,288
to some other obsession.

414
00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:34,127
Oh, look, fun.

415
00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:34,127
The police are powerless.

416
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,337
I must take justice

417
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,337
into my own hands.

418
00:11:36,337 --> 00:11:39,215
Men like Rick

419
00:11:36,337 --> 00:11:39,215
operate above the law.

420
00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:41,718
But there's something else

421
00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:41,718
above the law.

422
00:11:41,718 --> 00:11:43,010
Bats.

423
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,387
And me.

424
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:48,057
Abed, don't do

425
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:48,057
anything drastic.

426
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,560
Maybe we should just

427
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,560
take a step back and...

428
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,187
Is that the grappling hook

429
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,187
I got you for Christmas?

430
00:11:53,187 --> 00:11:54,481
The night beckons.

431
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,483
Its black fingers

432
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,483
curl and uncurl,

433
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,527
going, like,

434
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,527
"Hey, come here."

435
00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:02,572
Abed, wait! Wait.

436
00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:02,572
I did it.

437
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:04,407
I stepped on your DVD,

438
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:04,407
and it broke,

439
00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:07,410
and I staged a break-in

440
00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:07,410
to cover it up.

441
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:10,580
If that were true, you would've

442
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:10,580
come forward a long time ago.

443
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:13,874
You're lying to keep me

444
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:13,874
out of danger.

445
00:12:13,874 --> 00:12:15,543
But there can be no peace

446
00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:18,212
while crime spits and dances

447
00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:18,212
on the grave of justice

448
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:22,216
to the hot beats and infectious

449
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:22,216
rhythms of all that is wrong.

450
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,596
Oh!

451
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,596
Just...

452
00:12:26,596 --> 00:12:28,306
Use your foot.

453
00:12:26,596 --> 00:12:28,306
Ooh!

454
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:31,351
You're okay. Okay.

455
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:31,351
Ooh!

456
00:12:32,977 --> 00:12:34,895
Oh!

457
00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:38,107
Troy! What are we gonna do?

458
00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:38,107
Now you're open to input?

459
00:12:38,107 --> 00:12:39,942
I'm following him.

460
00:12:39,942 --> 00:12:43,154
You moving in here was

461
00:12:39,942 --> 00:12:43,154
supposed to tone us down.

462
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,990
So, Shirley,

463
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,990
tell me,

464
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:49,243
how does someone with

465
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:49,243
your talent ever stop playing?

466
00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:53,039
I don't want to talk about that.

467
00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:53,039
We're like best friends now.

468
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,375
Don't back away from this.

469
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,375
Open up to me.

470
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,627
Okay, well.

471
00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:00,338
When I was a kid,

472
00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:00,338
I had anger, Jeff.

473
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:04,300
Real bad anger.

474
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:04,300
And foosball was a release.

475
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,679
But I didn't just beat people.

476
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,679
I broke 'em.

477
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,682
One time I was running

478
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,682
this table over at this YMCA,

479
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:12,684
and I was really giving it

480
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:12,684
to this kid,

481
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:16,020
this skinny white boy,

482
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:16,020
no offense. He started crying.

483
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,189
They always started crying.

484
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:20,817
This boy made me want

485
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:20,817
to take it all the way.

486
00:13:20,817 --> 00:13:23,236
I started jabbing him

487
00:13:20,817 --> 00:13:23,236
with the rods until...

488
00:13:24,278 --> 00:13:25,904
the boy peed himself.

489
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,574
Everybody laughed.

490
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,574
I laughed.

491
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:31,411
But after that,

492
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:31,411
the game lost its flavor.

493
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,287
Once you make

494
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,287
a boy pee his pants,

495
00:13:33,287 --> 00:13:37,083
you start thinking about

496
00:13:33,287 --> 00:13:37,083
where your life is headed.

497
00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:41,128
Jeff, what's wrong?

498
00:13:41,128 --> 00:13:44,716
Gonna kill you!

499
00:13:41,128 --> 00:13:44,716
Your ass is mine!

500
00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:48,678
You're such a punk!

501
00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:48,678
You like being beat by a girl?

502
00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:50,680
Yes!

503
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,100
What are you crying for?

504
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,100
Your mama cannot help you,

505
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,810
I know your daddy ain't around,

506
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:57,604
or you wouldn't play

507
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:57,604
like a bitch.

508
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,356
Ha!

509
00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:02,066
Ooh!

510
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:08,615
Oh, my goodness gracious.

511
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:08,615
Is that what I think?

512
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,367
I just beat this kid

513
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,367
all the way to tinkletown.

514
00:14:13,494 --> 00:14:15,747
Tinkletown. Tinkletown.

515
00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:19,333
Tinkletown.

516
00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:19,333
Tinkletown.

517
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:22,086
Tinkletown.

518
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:22,086
Tinkletown.

519
00:14:22,086 --> 00:14:23,671
You were Big Cheddar?

520
00:14:23,671 --> 00:14:26,048
Who told you that...

521
00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:27,550
Oh, dear Lord.

522
00:14:29,218 --> 00:14:30,595
You're Tinkletown?

523
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,847
Don't call me that!

524
00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:35,642
All your fake sweetness

525
00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:35,642
and religion

526
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,686
is just a veil covering

527
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,686
a horrible monster.

528
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,608
And I had a lot of

529
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,608
Mountain Dew that day!

530
00:14:49,113 --> 00:14:52,492
Sam, Ziggy says

531
00:14:49,113 --> 00:14:52,492
there's an 80 percent chance

532
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,703
you can't leave Woodstock

533
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,703
until you bone these hippies.

534
00:14:55,703 --> 00:14:57,204
Oh, boy.

535
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:19,018
You know what I came for,

536
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:19,018
scum. Where is it?

537
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:21,187
In the closet.

538
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:21,187
In the closet, man.

539
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,022
Abed, stop it!

540
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,022
Get him!

541
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,608
I mean, stop it.

542
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,608
They're in the closet.

543
00:15:25,608 --> 00:15:28,611
I knew I'd get caught.

544
00:15:25,608 --> 00:15:28,611
Just don't hurt me, Batman.

545
00:15:28,611 --> 00:15:30,070
Closet.

546
00:15:32,323 --> 00:15:33,992
Oh!

547
00:15:35,242 --> 00:15:36,828
Women's shoes?

548
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:40,498
But Rick doesn't have a wife.

549
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:40,498
Or women's feet.

550
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:43,543
Wait. My summertime

551
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:43,543
ballet flats?

552
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,878
I thought I lost these.

553
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,046
Is it there?

554
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,046
Does he have the DVD?

555
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,089
The what?

556
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,089
The DVD.

557
00:15:50,299 --> 00:15:51,759
He has it, all right.

558
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,720
And it looks like

559
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,720
he broke it.

560
00:15:56,347 --> 00:15:58,391
Who are you?

561
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:05,105
If you had

562
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:05,105
something to say,

563
00:16:05,105 --> 00:16:07,316
why not put it

564
00:16:05,105 --> 00:16:07,316
in the text message?

565
00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:08,818
I wasn't sure

566
00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:08,818
what to say.

567
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,155
Do you understand what

568
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,155
you did to me, Big Cheddar?

569
00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:16,409
Please, don't call me that.

570
00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:16,409
Why not? It's what you are.

571
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,578
A mean, nasty bully.

572
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,496
I was 12 years old.

573
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:23,499
I peed!

574
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:23,499
I had to change schools.

575
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,251
I changed everything.

576
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,628
My clothes, my hair,

577
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,628
my personality,

578
00:16:27,628 --> 00:16:28,922
because of you.

579
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,840
What a waste.

580
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,633
I wish I could take

581
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,633
a picture of you

582
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,427
and send it

583
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,427
to my 10-year-old self.

584
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,845
Watch it, Winger.

585
00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:37,972
You don't have a trademark

586
00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:37,972
on self-pity.

587
00:16:37,972 --> 00:16:39,473
I will defend myself.

588
00:16:39,473 --> 00:16:43,477
Good. Bring the cheddar...

589
00:16:39,473 --> 00:16:43,477
Big Cheddar.

590
00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:46,397
I'll put you on the express

591
00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:46,397
train back to tinkletown!

592
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,471
Ah! Die!

593
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,471
Ha! Never!

594
00:17:29,523 --> 00:17:31,734
Argh!

595
00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:33,945
Argh!

596
00:17:33,945 --> 00:17:35,738
Argh!

597
00:17:35,738 --> 00:17:37,197
You get it.

598
00:17:35,738 --> 00:17:37,197
No, you get it.

599
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:41,119
You need the advantage.

600
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:41,119
Wrong. Wrong!

601
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,579
Every game I ever won,

602
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,579
I won fairly.

603
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:47,125
Foosball was how I measured

604
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:47,125
my value. You took that away!

605
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,293
Why do think I had to?

606
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,293
Try sprouting three feet

607
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:51,420
when boys are about

608
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:51,420
to look at you.

609
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,965
Everyone stopped liking me.

610
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,965
This game is all I had.

611
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,258
It's all I had.

612
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,258
Well, that's stupid.

613
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,052
You're a perfectly

614
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,052
fine person.

615
00:17:58,052 --> 00:18:00,179
So are you.

616
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,389
Thank you.

617
00:18:03,307 --> 00:18:04,642
You're welcome.

618
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,731
I'm sorry, Jeff.

619
00:18:13,109 --> 00:18:16,654
You don't have anything

620
00:18:13,109 --> 00:18:16,654
to be sorry for, Shirley.

621
00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:18,781
Rick has agreed to stay

622
00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:18,781
out of your apartment

623
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:20,282
as long as you stay

624
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:20,282
out of his.

625
00:18:20,282 --> 00:18:22,201
I'm getting tired

626
00:18:20,282 --> 00:18:22,201
of saying this.

627
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,496
These things wouldn't happen

628
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,496
if you'd invest in a shoe safe.

629
00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:29,416
That's it? We just live

630
00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:29,416
upstairs from this...

631
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,752
guy that's really

632
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,752
into footwear?

633
00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:34,588
Sweetie, you're a renter.

634
00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:34,588
Look forward to owning a house.

635
00:18:34,588 --> 00:18:37,591
Be glad he's not into heads.

636
00:18:34,588 --> 00:18:37,591
Thanks for your help.

637
00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:41,721
If you should ever need me,

638
00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:41,721
I get out of school around 4:00.

639
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:45,558
This guys sleeps outside your

640
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:45,558
room, and that's okay?

641
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,561
One thing I don't understand.

642
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,646
Why would Rick deny

643
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,646
taking my DVD?

644
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:52,148
And why break it?

645
00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:55,735
Maybe he stepped on it

646
00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:55,735
by accident

647
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:59,405
and felt really,

648
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:59,405
really, really bad.

649
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,074
All the more reason

650
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,074
to confess.

651
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:04,410
Not everybody's perfect, Abed.

652
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:04,410
Batman. And I am.

653
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,328
Well, Batman,

654
00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:09,207
on behalf of all of us

655
00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:09,207
that aren't perfect,

656
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:12,334
can I just say I'm sorry

657
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:12,334
I broke your DVD?

658
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:14,795
Apology accepted.

659
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:17,715
I wouldn't mention it to Abed.

660
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:17,715
That guy's pretty ruthless.

661
00:19:17,715 --> 00:19:19,967
And that's coming

662
00:19:17,715 --> 00:19:19,967
from Batman.

663
00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:26,432
Hey, guys.

664
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,809
Abed, where

665
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,809
have you been?

666
00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:30,310
Troy, really?

667
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:33,981
Let it go.

668
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:33,981
Aw, black in the house!

669
00:19:33,981 --> 00:19:36,901
My hand is cramping.

670
00:19:33,981 --> 00:19:36,901
It's fine.

671
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:38,778
Oh.

672
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,654
Hey, Freudenkatzen.

673
00:19:40,654 --> 00:19:43,574
Ready for your schpankin'?

674
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:46,869
Just like we practiced?

675
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:46,869
Let's shut 'em down.

676
00:19:46,869 --> 00:19:50,081
Let's dance, David Bowie.

677
00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:07,473
Get the ball, Karl.

678
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,516
I'm trying,

679
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,516
and stop yelling at me.

680
00:20:09,516 --> 00:20:11,560
Stop being

681
00:20:09,516 --> 00:20:11,560
such a Schwein!

682
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,313
Aren't you playing foosball?

683
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,313
We've played enough.

684
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,982
We're gonna go see

685
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,982
a movie.

686
00:20:21,195 --> 00:20:22,905
Since when

687
00:20:21,195 --> 00:20:22,905
are those two so close?

688
00:20:33,082 --> 00:20:36,418
Well, this is

689
00:20:33,082 --> 00:20:36,418
November 29th,

690
00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:38,587
and I'm Leonard,

691
00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:40,047
and today I'm reviewing

692
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:43,383
Eugenio's Four Cheese

693
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:43,383
Frozen Pizza.

694
00:20:43,383 --> 00:20:45,970
That's $5.99 at Kroger's.

695
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:48,931
I've tried it before,

696
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:48,931
and we'll see.

697
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,147
Mmm!

698
00:20:56,147 --> 00:20:58,232
Mmm, the cheese is good.

699
00:20:59,984 --> 00:21:01,819
The sauce is good, too.

700
00:21:01,819 --> 00:21:04,697
It's definitely a buy.

701
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,366
Eugenio's Four Cheese

702
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,366
Frozen Pizza.

703
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:11,329
A buy.

704
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:11,329
See you next time.

