1 00:00:02,486 --> 00:00:05,406 This is a historic day 2 00:00:02,486 --> 00:00:05,406 for Greendale. 3 00:00:05,447 --> 00:00:10,369 This state-of-the-art Subway 4 00:00:05,447 --> 00:00:10,369 sandwichery in our cafetorium 5 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,288 represents Greendale's 6 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,288 first steps forward 7 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:15,457 into the realm 8 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:15,457 of the legitimate! 9 00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:16,834 Ooh. 10 00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:18,293 Oh, oh. No problem. 11 00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:18,293 You know what? 12 00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,796 I'm just going to 13 00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,796 get it started 14 00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,796 with my teeth. 15 00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:23,382 The legitimate! Oh. 16 00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:23,382 The legitimate! 17 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:24,884 That should be 18 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:24,884 my sandwich shop. 19 00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:26,802 It was my idea 20 00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:26,802 to put one there. 21 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,345 We're here for you, 22 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,345 Shirley. 23 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,345 Yeah. 24 00:00:28,387 --> 00:00:30,305 Troy, Annie, and I 25 00:00:28,387 --> 00:00:30,305 know what it's like 26 00:00:28,387 --> 00:00:30,305 to be displaced. 27 00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:32,266 They're tenting 28 00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:32,266 our building for termites, 29 00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:32,266 so we're homeless. 30 00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:33,975 I'm staying 31 00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:33,975 in the sleep study lab. 32 00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:35,811 All I have to do is wake up 33 00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:35,811 every three hours and go... 34 00:00:35,853 --> 00:00:38,606 And I get two credits. 35 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,023 Yeah, 36 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,023 and we're going to build 37 00:00:40,065 --> 00:00:40,900 a super awesome pillow fort 38 00:00:40,065 --> 00:00:40,900 here at the school. 39 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,109 Another pillow fort? 40 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,903 Kind of repeating 41 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,903 yourselves, aren't you? 42 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:46,488 That was a blanket fort. 43 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:46,488 This will be a pillow fort. 44 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,407 Way more difficult, 45 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,407 way better. 46 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,576 All difficult things 47 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,576 are better, 48 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,576 like carrying a disease 49 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,620 or holding in 50 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,620 a fart right now. 51 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,620 Ah-ha! 52 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,497 I just found out 53 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,497 how Shirley and I are 54 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,497 going to take down Subway. 55 00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,875 Oh, how? 56 00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,875 Dean? 57 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,085 I assume you're familiar 58 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,085 with the Greendale bylaws. 59 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,712 I am not. 60 00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:03,255 Shirley, 61 00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:03,255 you do the honors. 62 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,048 My brain starts 63 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,048 getting weird 64 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,048 this time of night. 65 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,634 It's 10:00 a.m. 66 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,552 You're welcome. 67 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,552 Uh-oh. 68 00:01:08,594 --> 00:01:11,221 "Any business 69 00:01:08,594 --> 00:01:11,221 operating for profit 70 00:01:08,594 --> 00:01:11,221 on Greendale's campus 71 00:01:11,263 --> 00:01:15,058 "must be at least 51% 72 00:01:11,263 --> 00:01:15,058 owned by a registered 73 00:01:11,263 --> 00:01:15,058 Greendale student"! 74 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,270 That's too bad, Dean. 75 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,270 I don't recall 76 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,270 seeing Subway 77 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,105 in my premenopausal, 78 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,105 postfeminist 79 00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,982 experiential 80 00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,982 marketing class. 81 00:01:22,023 --> 00:01:23,943 Actually, 82 00:01:22,023 --> 00:01:23,943 I'm on the wait list 83 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,527 for the 84 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,527 premen/postfem/ex mark. 85 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:26,946 Who are you? 86 00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:29,740 Gang, meet Greendale's 87 00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:29,740 newest student, Subway. 88 00:01:29,782 --> 00:01:31,867 Your name is Subway? 89 00:01:31,909 --> 00:01:35,245 Yep, using a groundbreaking 90 00:01:31,909 --> 00:01:35,245 but surprisingly legal process 91 00:01:35,287 --> 00:01:38,248 known as corpohumanization, 92 00:01:35,287 --> 00:01:38,248 real people such as myself 93 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:41,961 are now allowed to represent 94 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:41,961 the collective humanity 95 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:41,961 of business owners. 96 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,254 I have contractually waived 97 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,254 my birth identity 98 00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:49,009 and am now 99 00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:49,009 a man and student 100 00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:49,009 named Subway. 101 00:01:49,802 --> 00:01:51,512 I don't believe this. 102 00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:53,722 Come on, Subway, 103 00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:53,722 there is no way 104 00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:53,722 you're 5'10". 105 00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:56,684 So you can vote? 106 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,644 Actually, no, 107 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,644 because technically 108 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,644 I'm only a week old. 109 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,729 Aw. 110 00:02:00,771 --> 00:02:02,189 But please don't think of me 111 00:02:00,771 --> 00:02:02,189 as any less human 112 00:02:00,771 --> 00:02:02,189 than yourselves. 113 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:04,441 I'm here to hang out, 114 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:04,441 take weird classes, 115 00:02:04,483 --> 00:02:07,444 and party as hearty 116 00:02:04,483 --> 00:02:07,444 as my morality clause 117 00:02:04,483 --> 00:02:07,444 allows. 118 00:02:07,486 --> 00:02:10,405 Eat fresh? Eat fresh? 119 00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:12,992 Eat fresh. 120 00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:12,992 That's my man. 121 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,368 Wow, did you know 122 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,368 Greendale students 123 00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:17,037 are technically 124 00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:17,037 in the Army Reserves? 125 00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,458 Let's say a little prayer 126 00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,458 for peace. 127 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,753 Tie me to dream 128 00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:27,923 to run out of steam 129 00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:31,385 it can be here 130 00:02:31,426 --> 00:02:35,305 tied up, dead in a year 131 00:02:35,347 --> 00:02:40,310 I should stay 132 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:50,821 Annie, 133 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:50,821 you've got to get me 134 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:50,821 into this sleep lab. 135 00:02:50,863 --> 00:02:52,614 I can't think 136 00:02:50,863 --> 00:02:52,614 of a better use 137 00:02:50,863 --> 00:02:52,614 of my time here 138 00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:53,699 than being unconscious. 139 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,283 It's not a blow-off class, 140 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,283 Jeff. 141 00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,411 We're only allowed to bring 142 00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,411 one stuffed animal. 143 00:02:57,452 --> 00:02:59,287 I'm bringing Ruthie... 144 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:01,665 But using her pouch 145 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:01,665 to sneak in Nathan. 146 00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:03,876 Well, have fun. 147 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:07,504 Wait, since when 148 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:07,504 do we have lockers? 149 00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:10,925 Uh, since 150 00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:10,925 Registration Day, 2009. 151 00:03:10,966 --> 00:03:14,302 Jeff, did you skip 152 00:03:10,966 --> 00:03:14,302 the Pre-orientation Freshman 153 00:03:10,966 --> 00:03:14,302 Welcome Seminar 154 00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:16,513 and Diversity Fire Circle? 155 00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:18,473 This explains so much 156 00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:18,473 about you. 157 00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,100 Are you saying 158 00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,100 I've had a locker here 159 00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,100 for two and a half years? 160 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,649 Whoa, whoa. Wow. 161 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,777 "Halloween dance." 162 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,777 "Post-halloween dance." 163 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,070 "Dance contest." 164 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,738 "Contest dance." 165 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,738 Oh, come on. 166 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,908 What's this? "Save Garrett"? 167 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,908 What's wrong with Garrett? 168 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,118 Nothing now. 169 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,118 We saved him. 170 00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:41,121 Aah! 171 00:03:41,162 --> 00:03:42,414 Wait, 172 00:03:41,162 --> 00:03:42,414 that's "saved" Garrett? 173 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,834 Ooh, what's this? 174 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,834 Love letter? 175 00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,045 Oh, it's probably 176 00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,045 one of many. 177 00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,964 Oh, no. 178 00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,964 This is a hate letter. 179 00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:51,715 What? 180 00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:51,715 Let me see that. 181 00:03:51,757 --> 00:03:53,300 "Dear Jeff, 182 00:03:51,757 --> 00:03:53,300 this might come as a shock 183 00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,218 "to someone who thinks 184 00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,218 he's God's gift 185 00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,218 to the world, 186 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,096 "but you're actually 187 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,096 an inconsiderate jerk. 188 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,221 "Kim." 189 00:03:58,263 --> 00:04:00,307 "Inconsiderate"? 190 00:03:58,263 --> 00:04:00,307 Who's Kim? 191 00:04:00,348 --> 00:04:02,267 I don't know, and clearly 192 00:04:00,348 --> 00:04:02,267 she doesn't know me. 193 00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,727 Gesundheit. 194 00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:05,353 I didn't sneeze. 195 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,944 Look at these idiots. 196 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,944 Cattle, sheep... 197 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,195 Other animals 198 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,195 that travel in herds. 199 00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:15,489 I want to say snakes. 200 00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:17,658 Am I the only person 201 00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:17,658 enraged by the fact 202 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:19,785 that corporations 203 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:19,785 are taking human form? 204 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,788 I totally predicted this 205 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,788 in my high school 206 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,788 newspaper column 207 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,205 "Britta Unfiltered." 208 00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:26,625 Unfiltered. I get it. 209 00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:26,625 Get what? 210 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,629 Actually, maybe Subway 211 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,629 taking human form 212 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,629 could be its undoing. 213 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,131 Uh, Britta... 214 00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:34,257 You're a, uh, 215 00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:34,257 progressive woman 216 00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:38,762 of a more 217 00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:38,762 liberated looseness. 218 00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:41,515 You could get close to Subway 219 00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:41,515 and find out some dirt on him. 220 00:04:41,556 --> 00:04:43,600 Corporate espionage. 221 00:04:41,556 --> 00:04:43,600 I like it. 222 00:04:43,642 --> 00:04:44,977 Microphones hidden 223 00:04:43,642 --> 00:04:44,977 in lipstick. 224 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,895 Lipstick hidden 225 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,895 in microphones. 226 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:48,689 And the deadliest weapon 227 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:48,689 of them all... 228 00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:50,107 The penis flytrap. 229 00:04:50,149 --> 00:04:52,151 Okay! 230 00:04:50,149 --> 00:04:52,151 This conversation is over. 231 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,903 I am not a whore, 232 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,903 and not that 233 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,903 I've done the math, 234 00:04:54,945 --> 00:04:57,322 but if I were, I'd be 235 00:04:54,945 --> 00:04:57,322 the super classy kind 236 00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,034 that gets flown 237 00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,034 to Dubai to stay 238 00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,034 in an underwater hotel. 239 00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:05,873 Abed, Troy. 240 00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,290 Ah, don't worry, Dean. 241 00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,667 We have all 242 00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,667 the proper permits 243 00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,667 right here. 244 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,169 Oh, silly me! 245 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,088 This is a coupon for 20% off 246 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,088 at Bed Bath & Beyond. 247 00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:17,217 No need to bribe me, Troy. 248 00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:17,217 Actually... 249 00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:18,552 There's plenty more 250 00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:18,552 where that came from. 251 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,262 Look, I was just Googling 252 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,262 record lengths of stuff, 253 00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,557 and apparently there's 254 00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,557 a Guinness World Record 255 00:05:23,598 --> 00:05:25,934 for the biggest pillow 256 00:05:23,598 --> 00:05:25,934 or blanket fort. 257 00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:27,978 So you boys... 258 00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:27,978 You should go for it. 259 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,479 Put this school 260 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,479 on the map. 261 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,483 We'd have a better chance 262 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,483 of setting the record 263 00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:36,028 if we made this 264 00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:36,028 a blanket fort, 265 00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:36,028 you know, take less time. 266 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,779 We wanted to make 267 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,779 a pillow fort. 268 00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:39,656 I don't want 269 00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:39,656 to sacrifice quality 270 00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:39,656 for square footage. 271 00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:41,366 We don't need 272 00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:41,366 a world record to tell us 273 00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:41,366 we did something cool. 274 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,450 But if we won, 275 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,450 we might meet that dude 276 00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:43,660 with the curly 277 00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:43,660 fingernails. 278 00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,370 Shridhar Chillal? 279 00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,370 Not interested. 280 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,081 I saw him on a talk show. 281 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,081 He came off as pretentious. 282 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,251 I'm going to 283 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,251 go get a drink. 284 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,251 Okay. 285 00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:55,672 Troy Barnes. 286 00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:56,882 Vice Dean Laybourne. 287 00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,094 You have a beard 288 00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,094 and a ponytail. 289 00:06:00,135 --> 00:06:01,469 Going through some stuff 290 00:06:00,135 --> 00:06:01,469 right now, Troy. 291 00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:03,555 Don't worry about it. 292 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,057 Any chance you've given 293 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,057 a second thought to joining 294 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,059 my air conditioning 295 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,059 repair school? 296 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,810 Sorry. 297 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,687 Kind of busy at the moment 298 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,687 doing some awesome work 299 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,687 with Abed. 300 00:06:10,729 --> 00:06:12,981 Ah, yeah, Abed. 301 00:06:13,023 --> 00:06:15,817 You guys watch that 302 00:06:13,023 --> 00:06:15,817 television show together, 303 00:06:13,023 --> 00:06:15,817 don't you? 304 00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,444 Inspector Spacetime. 305 00:06:17,485 --> 00:06:18,612 Funny, Troy. 306 00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,488 You and Abed have 307 00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,488 always reminded me 308 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,783 of the Inspector and 309 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,783 his trusty constable Reggie. 310 00:06:22,824 --> 00:06:24,034 Cool! 311 00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:26,161 The Inspector, of course, 312 00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:26,161 is smart, decisive, 313 00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:27,829 and Reggie is... 314 00:06:27,871 --> 00:06:30,249 Well, he's Reggie. 315 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:33,877 Reggie is trained 316 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:33,877 in zero-gravity martial arts 317 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:33,877 and has a whistle. 318 00:06:33,919 --> 00:06:35,378 Yeah. 319 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,464 But he never really 320 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,464 gets to blow the whistle 321 00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:40,675 unless the Inspector 322 00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:40,675 says it's okay. 323 00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:43,262 Less of a friendship, 324 00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:43,262 more of a self-centered nerd 325 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,597 and his naive, 326 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,597 obedient lapdog. 327 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:46,848 Well, I got a thing. 328 00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,475 You take care. 329 00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:52,562 Well, according to the office, 330 00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:52,562 this is the locker 331 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:56,441 of the only Kim I've had 332 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:56,441 any class with since 2009. 333 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,777 Wonder what you did 334 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,777 to make her so mad. 335 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,947 Maybe the two of you made out, 336 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,947 and then you forgot about her. 337 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,825 Annie, that's what 338 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,825 you think of me? 339 00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,325 I don't make out 340 00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,325 with forgettable women. 341 00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:07,619 Can I help you? 342 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,163 We're looking 343 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,163 for Kim McFadden. 344 00:07:09,204 --> 00:07:10,289 This is her locker, 345 00:07:09,204 --> 00:07:10,289 right? 346 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,040 Are you serious? 347 00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,375 She slipped a note 348 00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,375 into my locker 349 00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,375 a couple years ago. 350 00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:15,710 I guess I pissed her off 351 00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:15,710 somehow. 352 00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:16,962 I'm hoping to apologize. 353 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:19,173 That might not be easy. 354 00:07:19,214 --> 00:07:21,466 Kim's no longer 355 00:07:19,214 --> 00:07:21,466 with us. 356 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,343 She died two weeks ago. 357 00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:24,385 What? 358 00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,180 Sorry to drop that 359 00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,180 on you and run, 360 00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:27,848 but there's a rally 361 00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:27,848 for Garrett. 362 00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:29,557 But we saved him. 363 00:07:30,725 --> 00:07:31,935 Did we? 364 00:07:36,982 --> 00:07:38,192 What do you recommend? 365 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:40,277 What's it to you, 366 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:40,277 meat pusher? 367 00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:42,279 Sounds like you might 368 00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:42,279 be a vegetarian. 369 00:07:42,321 --> 00:07:43,571 You should try 370 00:07:42,321 --> 00:07:43,571 Subway's Veggie Delite. 371 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:46,116 You should try reading 372 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:46,116 Orwell's 1984. 373 00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:47,742 I have. 374 00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:47,742 It's a great book. 375 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,410 It really awakened me 376 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,410 in high school. 377 00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:50,453 I think kids should 378 00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:50,453 be forced to read it. 379 00:07:50,495 --> 00:07:53,665 Me too. 380 00:07:50,495 --> 00:07:53,665 Anyway, you're living it. 381 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,293 You're a human puppet 382 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,293 with big sandwich's 383 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,293 hand up your ass. 384 00:07:56,335 --> 00:07:58,003 Is this what you dreamt 385 00:07:56,335 --> 00:07:58,003 of being? 386 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,131 Unfortunately 387 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,131 I'm not allowed to 388 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,131 discuss my former life 389 00:08:01,173 --> 00:08:02,883 or engage in any 390 00:08:01,173 --> 00:08:02,883 nonplatonic relations, 391 00:08:02,924 --> 00:08:04,384 practice religion 392 00:08:02,924 --> 00:08:04,384 in public, 393 00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:06,469 or eat any nonfresh, 394 00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:06,469 unhealthy food like that 395 00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:07,971 found anywhere 396 00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:07,971 outside Subway. 397 00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:09,639 Why are you getting 398 00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:09,639 all that? 399 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,391 I wanted to 400 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,391 stand next to you 401 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,391 for a moment. 402 00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:13,977 It was worth it. 403 00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:17,022 Like a good book by Orwell 404 00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:17,022 or a Veggie Delite. 405 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:24,487 Is that you, Subway? 406 00:08:24,529 --> 00:08:26,281 My eyesight ain't 407 00:08:24,529 --> 00:08:26,281 what it used to be. 408 00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:28,116 Eat these Tater Tots, 409 00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:28,116 Harry. 410 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,535 For what it's worth, 411 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,535 I think you might see 412 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,535 more than all of us. 413 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,207 Did you see him 414 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,207 smiling at you? 415 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,209 Top-notch whoresmanship, 416 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,209 Britta. 417 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,544 Pierce. 418 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,544 Sorry. Whoreswomanship. 419 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,213 Forgot it was the '90s. 420 00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:42,756 Uh-oh. 421 00:08:42,797 --> 00:08:44,674 Anyway... 422 00:08:42,797 --> 00:08:44,674 Thank you, Britta. 423 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,968 I knew we could count on you 424 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,968 to help us take him down! 425 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,221 Yep, that's me, the girl 426 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,221 who's going to destroy 427 00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,723 the big sandwich company 428 00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,723 with the dreamy eyes. 429 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,475 Ooh! 430 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,475 We did it, Pierce. 431 00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:13,161 Powerful passage, 432 00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:13,161 isn't it? 433 00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:15,747 "She had become 434 00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:15,747 a physical necessity." 435 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,083 You circled 436 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,083 this paragraph. 437 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,585 I can't say 438 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,585 that I did. 439 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,004 I just think it's 440 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,004 a striking expression 441 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,004 of love's ability 442 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:26,633 to persevere within 443 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:26,633 the cracks and cogs 444 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:26,633 of inhuman systems. 445 00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:29,844 Who were you, Subway, 446 00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:29,844 before you were Subway? 447 00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:31,430 I can't say. 448 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,764 I have to live 449 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,764 within the rules. 450 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,808 This identity 451 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,808 is my life. 452 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,393 If I do this 453 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,393 for three more years, 454 00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:38,019 I can live 455 00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:38,019 a real dream. 456 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,646 Well, at least tell me 457 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,646 what that is. 458 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,399 I want to run 459 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,399 a nonprofit shelter 460 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,399 for handicapped animals. 461 00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:44,443 Dogs with wheels 462 00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:44,443 for hind legs. 463 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,694 Deaf hamsters. 464 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,694 One-eyed cats? 465 00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:49,948 Well, they weren't 466 00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:49,948 on the top of 467 00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:49,948 my list, but sure. 468 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,034 I should go. 469 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,034 This is getting 470 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,034 out of bounds for me. 471 00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:54,619 Eat fresh. 472 00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,748 You should put 473 00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,748 the small ones 474 00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,748 in the middle, 475 00:09:58,790 --> 00:09:59,874 or the wall won't hold 476 00:09:58,790 --> 00:09:59,874 the ceiling. 477 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,709 Why do I always have 478 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,709 to be your Reggie? 479 00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:02,919 What? 480 00:10:02,961 --> 00:10:04,171 I wanted to make 481 00:10:02,961 --> 00:10:04,171 a blanket fort, 482 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,631 and you never even gave it 483 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,631 a second thought. 484 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,425 I'm not even your sidekick. 485 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,425 I'm your underkick. 486 00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:10,427 I never said 487 00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:10,427 you couldn't do anything. 488 00:10:10,469 --> 00:10:12,095 If you want to 489 00:10:10,469 --> 00:10:12,095 make a blanket fort, 490 00:10:10,469 --> 00:10:12,095 that's fine with me. 491 00:10:12,971 --> 00:10:14,597 Thank you. 492 00:10:14,639 --> 00:10:17,517 Just don't make it 493 00:10:14,639 --> 00:10:17,517 part of my pillow fort. 494 00:10:20,895 --> 00:10:22,814 Fine. 495 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,649 I'll start it 496 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,649 somewhere else. 497 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,361 Have fun stacking pillows 498 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,361 like a baby. 499 00:10:29,488 --> 00:10:31,656 Jeff, 500 00:10:29,488 --> 00:10:31,656 are you okay? 501 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,950 I'm lying on campus 502 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,950 furniture, so no. 503 00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:35,576 Is it about 504 00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:35,576 this Kim girl? 505 00:10:38,579 --> 00:10:42,083 She is someone who died 506 00:10:38,579 --> 00:10:42,083 thinking I was a dick. 507 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,418 I can never 508 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,418 apologize. 509 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,212 I can never 510 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,212 change her mind. 511 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,881 That makes me 512 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,881 a dick forever. 513 00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:50,133 You think that's 514 00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:50,133 what an apology is? 515 00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:53,845 A spell you cast 516 00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:53,845 on another person to 517 00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:53,845 make them forgive you? 518 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:57,098 Apologies are opportunities 519 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:57,098 to admit your own mistakes. 520 00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:58,850 Apologize to her locker. 521 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,686 But how can I apologize 522 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,686 if I don't know 523 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,686 what I did wrong? 524 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:05,815 Well, didn't she call you 525 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:05,815 inconsiderate? 526 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:08,360 Sounds to me like you know 527 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:08,360 exactly what you did wrong. 528 00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,196 Leonard, 529 00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,196 what are you doing? 530 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,114 Abed's fort 531 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,114 needs pillows. 532 00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:14,573 But I was going 533 00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:14,573 to lie there. 534 00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:17,952 I was going to invest 535 00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:17,952 in IBM in 1952, 536 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,163 but life is full 537 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,163 of disappointments. 538 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,503 Eating fresh, 539 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,503 are we? 540 00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:28,004 Have you found any dirt 541 00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:28,004 on Subway yet? 542 00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:30,673 No, nothing. I should 543 00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:30,673 probably hang out 544 00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:30,673 with him more. 545 00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:33,468 You know what I think? 546 00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:33,468 I think you're falling 547 00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:33,468 for him. 548 00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:35,678 I am not. 549 00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:35,678 Who do you think I am? 550 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,013 I lived 551 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,013 in New York. 552 00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:39,057 You never lived anywhere. 553 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,767 You're a weapon 554 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,767 designed for sex. 555 00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:42,269 You only think 556 00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:42,269 you lived in New York 557 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,728 'cause I implanted 558 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,728 your memories. 559 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:46,689 Oh, Pierce, stop it! 560 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:46,689 Look what we're becoming. 561 00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:48,442 I'm sorry we pulled you 562 00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:48,442 into this dirty game. 563 00:11:48,483 --> 00:11:49,608 I want you to stop. 564 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,111 Yeah, 565 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,111 we're pulling you out... 566 00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:53,572 Right after 567 00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:53,572 your last assignment. 568 00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,366 This pen 569 00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,366 is a microphone. 570 00:11:56,408 --> 00:11:59,618 It's also a miniflask. 571 00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,456 Did you just drink ink? 572 00:12:02,497 --> 00:12:04,749 Just plant this 573 00:12:02,497 --> 00:12:04,749 on Subway, 574 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,418 and you'll never have 575 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,418 to see him again. 576 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,462 Until then, 577 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,462 keep him interested. 578 00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,630 And for God's sakes, 579 00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,630 slap some life 580 00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,630 on those dead lips. 581 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:18,972 Hello, Abed. 582 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:18,972 How's the pillow fort going? 583 00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:21,141 It's hard making 584 00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:21,141 something perfect, 585 00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:21,141 but it's worth it. 586 00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:23,393 Yeah, I'll remember that 587 00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:23,393 when I'm being given a key 588 00:12:23,435 --> 00:12:25,103 to the secret 589 00:12:23,435 --> 00:12:25,103 Guinness Record 590 00:12:23,435 --> 00:12:25,103 Holders' Clubhouse, 591 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,272 where I'll be hanging 592 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,272 with those two fat guys 593 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,272 on motorcycles 594 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,107 and being fitted 595 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,107 for a beard of bees. 596 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,319 Whoo! Well, Troy, 597 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,319 I just got off the phone 598 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,319 with Guinness, 599 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,861 and they are sending 600 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,861 a representative 601 00:12:33,903 --> 00:12:36,739 to have a look-see 602 00:12:33,903 --> 00:12:36,739 at your blanket fort. 603 00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,657 Are we world-record ready? 604 00:12:38,699 --> 00:12:40,076 Garrett? 605 00:12:40,118 --> 00:12:42,829 We are still more than 606 00:12:40,118 --> 00:12:42,829 2,000 square feet shy 607 00:12:40,118 --> 00:12:42,829 of the record. 608 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:45,748 Abed's pillow fort 609 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:45,748 is the only thing 610 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:45,748 standing in our way. 611 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,501 Well, what are we going 612 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,501 to do here, guys? 613 00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,294 Is there a way 614 00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,294 we can connect them? 615 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,629 You can't 616 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,629 connect the blanket fort 617 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,629 to the pillow fort 618 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,088 and still call it 619 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,088 a pillow fort. 620 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,298 Even if you could, 621 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,298 I'd rather see 622 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,633 my work destroyed 623 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,633 than compromise it. 624 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,260 Great, Abed will destroy 625 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,260 his pillow fort, 626 00:12:57,302 --> 00:13:00,263 and Troy will expand 627 00:12:57,302 --> 00:13:00,263 his blanket fort 628 00:12:57,302 --> 00:13:00,263 into the space. 629 00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:01,889 Everyone wins. 630 00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:05,101 Except Abed, but you know, 631 00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:05,101 not everyone can win. 632 00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:06,894 Is that what 633 00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:06,894 you want, Troy? 634 00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:08,938 For me to destroy 635 00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:08,938 my pillow fort so you 636 00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:08,938 could set your record? 637 00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:11,690 It is. 638 00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:14,110 Magnitude. 639 00:13:14,152 --> 00:13:16,154 Evacuate Fort Abed, 640 00:13:14,152 --> 00:13:16,154 and prepare 641 00:13:14,152 --> 00:13:16,154 for self-destruct. 642 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,822 Sir? 643 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,822 Do it. 644 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,157 We're done here. 645 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,783 Pop, pop, Captain. 646 00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:32,837 Oh! 647 00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:32,837 Subway. 648 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,006 Britta, I was worried 649 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,006 you wouldn't come. 650 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,592 I can't stop thinking 651 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,592 about you. 652 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,592 Shh. 653 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,181 They wanted me to plant 654 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,181 a bug on you. 655 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,807 I can't, 656 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,807 and I won't. 657 00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:47,935 Our values, our identities... 658 00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:47,935 They mean nothing to me now. 659 00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,396 Only the primal remains. 660 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:53,441 To me, you are simply 661 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:53,441 a physical necessity. 662 00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:55,276 Mmm. 663 00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:55,276 Mmm. 664 00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:56,944 Oh, Subway. 665 00:14:00,365 --> 00:14:01,908 Subway. 666 00:14:01,949 --> 00:14:03,535 Oh, Subway. 667 00:14:01,949 --> 00:14:03,535 Mmm. 668 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,163 Oh, Subway. 669 00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:08,873 Oh, no, no. 670 00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:08,873 No, this is wrong, Pierce. 671 00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,208 I just wanted to open 672 00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,208 a sandwich shop. 673 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,750 I did not sign up 674 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,750 for this. 675 00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,127 You don't want to get 676 00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,127 your hands dirty, fine. 677 00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:14,588 I will. 678 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,340 Nice knowing you, 679 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,340 Subway. 680 00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:19,259 If that is 681 00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:19,259 your real name. 682 00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:23,263 Ah. 683 00:14:33,732 --> 00:14:36,443 Kim. 684 00:14:33,732 --> 00:14:36,443 It's me, Jeff. 685 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,654 The inconsiderate jerk. 686 00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:41,740 Look, I don't remember 687 00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:41,740 hurting you, 688 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,075 and I have to assume 689 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,075 that's what hurt you. 690 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,744 God knows what crime 691 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,744 you've committed 692 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,995 to deserve me 693 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,995 disregarding you entirely. 694 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:50,624 But whatever your crime, 695 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:50,624 I think we both know 696 00:14:50,665 --> 00:14:53,042 the real crime 697 00:14:50,665 --> 00:14:53,042 is mine. 698 00:14:53,084 --> 00:14:54,794 I'm a self-centered, 699 00:14:53,084 --> 00:14:54,794 shallow jackass. 700 00:14:56,212 --> 00:15:00,717 And I just want to 701 00:14:56,212 --> 00:15:00,717 thank you for your note 702 00:15:00,759 --> 00:15:03,720 because I'm going 703 00:15:00,759 --> 00:15:03,720 to try and change. 704 00:15:03,762 --> 00:15:05,096 I just wish you were here 705 00:15:03,762 --> 00:15:05,096 to forgive me. 706 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,598 I am. 707 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,890 And I do. 708 00:15:09,392 --> 00:15:10,602 I'm Kim. 709 00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,730 What? 710 00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,730 You said Kim was dead. 711 00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:16,316 Because you never remember 712 00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:16,316 who I am. 713 00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:18,025 First year, we hung out, 714 00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:18,025 like, ten times. 715 00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:20,111 And each time, 716 00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:20,111 you introduced 717 00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:20,111 yourself to me. 718 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,821 That's why 719 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,821 I wrote that note. 720 00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:24,198 And then today, it's like 721 00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:24,198 you still don't remember me. 722 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,867 And... And you still assume 723 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,867 from my name that I am a girl. 724 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:28,869 I had no choice 725 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:28,869 but to make up 726 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:28,869 that awesome story 727 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:31,623 about a dead chick 728 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:31,623 to hurt you 729 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:31,623 like you hurt me. 730 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,916 I am so sorry... 731 00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:38,045 Kim. Right? 732 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:39,880 Do you know how long I've 733 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:39,880 waited to hear you say that? 734 00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:43,968 What the hell 735 00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:43,968 is this crap? 736 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,680 Annie, 737 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,680 this is Kim. 738 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:47,888 I think because he had 739 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:47,888 a girl's name, 740 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:49,098 I never 741 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:49,098 took him seriously. 742 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,142 It happens literally 743 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,142 all the time, 744 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,020 which is insane 745 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,020 because 16% of all people 746 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,020 named Kim are men. 747 00:15:54,061 --> 00:15:55,396 I'm sorry, buddy. 748 00:15:55,438 --> 00:15:56,773 Don't apologize 749 00:15:55,438 --> 00:15:56,773 to this guy. 750 00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:58,232 You told me 751 00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:58,232 to apologize. 752 00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:00,067 To a dead girl's locker. 753 00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:03,363 I thought 754 00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:03,363 I was representing 755 00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:03,363 the sisterhood. 756 00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:04,781 Thought I was 757 00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:04,781 teaching you a lesson 758 00:16:04,823 --> 00:16:08,242 about all the girls 759 00:16:04,823 --> 00:16:08,242 you dominate 760 00:16:04,823 --> 00:16:08,242 and then ignore. 761 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:11,705 Not to waste your energy 762 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:11,705 on some weird, cloying, 763 00:16:11,746 --> 00:16:14,374 hypersensitive stalker 764 00:16:11,746 --> 00:16:14,374 with a girl's name. 765 00:16:14,415 --> 00:16:16,459 Hey! 766 00:16:14,415 --> 00:16:16,459 You are really mean. 767 00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:18,795 Put it in a letter, 768 00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:18,795 Jane Austen. 769 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,550 Prepare to initiate 770 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,550 Protocol Omega. 771 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,846 Good-bye, pillow fort. 772 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,846 You were a beautiful dream. 773 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:31,349 More than a dream. 774 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:31,349 It's here. 775 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,600 Who are you? 776 00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:34,060 Someone who understands 777 00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:34,060 dedication 778 00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:37,146 to craftsmanship 779 00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:37,146 in the face of mediocrity. 780 00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:40,441 This world is run 781 00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:40,441 by the unremarkables. 782 00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,109 Don't do what 783 00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,109 you always do, Abed. 784 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,945 Don't corrupt the host 785 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,945 to pacify the parasites. 786 00:16:44,987 --> 00:16:46,447 Ask yourself, 787 00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:49,868 "What if I stopped worrying 788 00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:49,868 about their acceptance 789 00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:49,868 of me?" 790 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:53,287 What if it fell 791 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:53,287 to the Reggies 792 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:53,287 of the world 793 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:58,000 to keep up with 794 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:58,000 the Inspectors or perish? 795 00:16:58,042 --> 00:17:01,588 Now please turn your head 796 00:16:58,042 --> 00:17:01,588 while I crawl away. 797 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,924 I'm going through some stuff 798 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,924 right now. 799 00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:06,426 I'm very insecure. 800 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,722 What's going on? 801 00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,640 I'll ask 802 00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,640 the questions here. 803 00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:15,393 You had sex with Subway, 804 00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:15,393 and I recorded it. 805 00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,854 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. 806 00:17:17,896 --> 00:17:20,314 Mmm-hmm. 807 00:17:17,896 --> 00:17:20,314 Hmm. 808 00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:21,608 You know what, I'm going 809 00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:21,608 to let this one slide. 810 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,526 What? 811 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,526 What? 812 00:17:23,568 --> 00:17:25,319 I know we have 813 00:17:23,568 --> 00:17:25,319 very strict rules against 814 00:17:23,568 --> 00:17:25,319 romantic entanglements 815 00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:28,698 with our corpohumanoids, 816 00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:28,698 but at this point in time, 817 00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:31,325 we can't stop them 818 00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:31,325 from having hearts. 819 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,327 These two are 820 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,327 clearly in love. 821 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,162 If they want 822 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,162 to express that love 823 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:38,917 in a perfectly healthy way, 824 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:38,917 then... Okay, hold on. 825 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,042 Is this 826 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,042 what I think it is? 827 00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:45,131 That got unhealthy 828 00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:45,131 real quick. 829 00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,133 That... Okay, that's... 830 00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,133 Yeah, that's weird. 831 00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:49,469 That is well out 832 00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:49,469 of the mainstream. 833 00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:50,804 You know, 834 00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:50,804 I was raised in the... 835 00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,389 The Bay Area, but I... 836 00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,389 I'm a father now. 837 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,269 Subway cannot 838 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,269 stand for that, 839 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,269 and frankly, Rick, 840 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,854 I... I'm surprised you did. 841 00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:01,397 My name is Subway. 842 00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:01,397 Not anymore. 843 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:03,733 The bread is stale. 844 00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:05,526 No! No! 845 00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:05,526 Oh, my God. 846 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:06,736 Subway, I love you! 847 00:18:06,778 --> 00:18:08,362 Britta! 848 00:18:06,778 --> 00:18:08,362 Shut up. 849 00:18:08,404 --> 00:18:09,656 How could you? 850 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:13,367 Well, if that'll be all, 851 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:13,367 I'll be on my way. 852 00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:16,621 If someone could 853 00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:16,621 hand me my jacket. 854 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,666 It's right over there 855 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,666 on the coat rack 856 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,666 next to the door. 857 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,168 If somebody could 858 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,168 just hand it to me, 859 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,168 that would be great. 860 00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:27,047 I guess I'm confused. 861 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,341 Why don't you just grab it 862 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,341 on your way out the door... 863 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:30,384 You know what? 864 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:30,384 Now I'm not leaving. 865 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,428 Now I'm just going 866 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,428 to sit for a while 867 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:35,640 and focus on how 868 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:35,640 unacceptable today was. 869 00:18:37,057 --> 00:18:38,058 Jeff. 870 00:18:38,935 --> 00:18:41,187 I wanted to apologize. 871 00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:44,732 I never realized 872 00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:44,732 I had my own issues 873 00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:44,732 regarding gender roles, 874 00:18:44,774 --> 00:18:47,485 and it was 875 00:18:44,774 --> 00:18:47,485 certainly unfair of me 876 00:18:44,774 --> 00:18:47,485 to take them out on Kim. 877 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,820 Mmm. 878 00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:50,237 Who's Kim? 879 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,659 Corporate America 880 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,659 has destroyed love. 881 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,369 Again? 882 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,369 Subway! 883 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:01,374 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought 884 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:01,374 you were someone else. 885 00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:04,210 Britta, you silly. 886 00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:04,210 It is me, Subway. 887 00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:06,045 What? 888 00:19:06,086 --> 00:19:07,881 I had a great time 889 00:19:06,086 --> 00:19:07,881 with you last night 890 00:19:06,086 --> 00:19:07,881 in the pillow fort, 891 00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:10,299 the one exception being 892 00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:10,299 the deviant sex act 893 00:19:10,341 --> 00:19:12,343 you initiated 894 00:19:10,341 --> 00:19:12,343 without my consent. 895 00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:17,056 Eat fresh. 896 00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:20,226 Oh, jeez. 897 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,812 There is 898 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,812 a situation developing 899 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,812 in the study room. 900 00:19:22,854 --> 00:19:24,647 I would elaborate, 901 00:19:22,854 --> 00:19:24,647 but I am out of breath 902 00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,357 because I walked here 903 00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,357 very briskly. 904 00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:31,696 Calm down! 905 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,947 Calm! 906 00:19:32,989 --> 00:19:34,574 Down! 907 00:19:35,449 --> 00:19:36,492 What's going on here? 908 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,160 Abed won't 909 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,160 tear down his fort. 910 00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,704 I shouldn't have 911 00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,704 to compromise 912 00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,704 my craftsmanship 913 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,873 to placate mediocrity. 914 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,873 Mediocrity? 915 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,791 Okay, boys, boys. 916 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,960 The Guinness rep will 917 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,960 be here in two days. 918 00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:49,380 Can we just flip a coin 919 00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:49,380 to decide who has 920 00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:49,380 to back down? 921 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,965 No. 922 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,965 No. 923 00:19:51,007 --> 00:19:53,259 Well, I'm dean, 924 00:19:51,007 --> 00:19:53,259 so I'm making the call. 925 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,513 The pillow fort 926 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,513 comes down. 927 00:19:57,555 --> 00:19:58,681 All right, you stay back. 928 00:19:58,723 --> 00:19:59,766 Watch it, Star-Burns. 929 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:01,517 My name is Alex! 930 00:20:07,899 --> 00:20:09,400 This is war! 931 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,418 Back, back. Back. 932 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,128 Go. 933 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,128 Back, back, back 934 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,128 in the fort. 935 00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:34,133 To be continued. 936 00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:45,686 Sir, it appears that 937 00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:45,686 Troy Barnes' blanket fort 938 00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:48,230 may go to war 939 00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:48,230 with Abed Nadir's 940 00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:48,230 pillow fort. 941 00:20:48,272 --> 00:20:49,565 Of course. 942 00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:52,068 Soon Troy and Abed 943 00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:52,068 will be torn asunder, 944 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:55,655 and an unencumbered Troy 945 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:55,655 will turn to his destiny... 946 00:20:55,696 --> 00:20:58,324 The air conditioning 947 00:20:55,696 --> 00:20:58,324 repair school. 948 00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:00,200 You are a cold-blooded man, 949 00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:00,200 sir. 950 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:01,953 Yes. 951 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:04,705 How unfortunate 952 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:04,705 for Troy and Abed. 953 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,166 Huh. 954 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,585 See you at band practice.