1
00:00:01,181 --> 00:00:03,434
Ah, should be on.

2
00:00:04,059 --> 00:00:05,977
Okay. Ah.

3
00:00:06,019 --> 00:00:10,065
Um, my name

4
00:00:06,019 --> 00:00:10,065
is Alex Osborne,

5
00:00:10,107 --> 00:00:11,941
and if you're

6
00:00:10,107 --> 00:00:11,941
watching this,

7
00:00:11,983 --> 00:00:13,736
it means I'm dead.

8
00:00:13,778 --> 00:00:15,237
Or I'm just

9
00:00:13,778 --> 00:00:15,237
showing you.

10
00:00:15,279 --> 00:00:18,490
Uh, but I'm

11
00:00:15,279 --> 00:00:18,490
probably dead.

12
00:00:18,532 --> 00:00:21,951
To my ex-wife Magda,

13
00:00:18,532 --> 00:00:21,951
I leave herpes.

14
00:00:21,993 --> 00:00:24,079
But she knows that,

15
00:00:21,993 --> 00:00:24,079
it's dealt with.

16
00:00:24,121 --> 00:00:26,206
As for my collection

17
00:00:24,121 --> 00:00:26,206
of Styx albums,

18
00:00:26,248 --> 00:00:27,792
I leave that to no one.

19
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:31,462
Because that's

20
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:31,462
who appreciated Styx

21
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:31,462
as much as me.

22
00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:34,214
Finally, there's

23
00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:34,214
a kid named Abed

24
00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:34,214
who makes movies

25
00:00:34,256 --> 00:00:37,509
at my community college,

26
00:00:34,256 --> 00:00:37,509
and to him I leave the task

27
00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,512
of creating

28
00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,512
a video tribute

29
00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,512
of my life.

30
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,891
What follows is some

31
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,891
general purpose footage

32
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,891
that he can use.

33
00:00:49,146 --> 00:00:50,564
Where did you get this?

34
00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:52,399
Some one-armed guy

35
00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:52,399
with a scar on his

36
00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:52,399
face dropped it off.

37
00:00:52,441 --> 00:00:53,609
He said he was

38
00:00:52,441 --> 00:00:53,609
Star-Burns' lawyer.

39
00:00:53,651 --> 00:00:54,902
How one-armed was he?

40
00:00:54,944 --> 00:00:56,236
Tell me when to stop.

41
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,908
It was the other arm.

42
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,908
You guys!

43
00:01:00,950 --> 00:01:03,076
I feel oddly compelled

44
00:01:00,950 --> 00:01:03,076
to fulfill his request.

45
00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:04,912
Would you guys help me

46
00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:04,912
write obituary copy?

47
00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:08,499
You mean like, "Star-Burns

48
00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:08,499
died how he lived.

49
00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:08,499
In a meth lab explosion"?

50
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,918
Can we turn this off?

51
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,918
I'm not as comfortable

52
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,918
with death as you guys.

53
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,210
He's in a better

54
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,210
place now.

55
00:01:12,252 --> 00:01:13,337
Yeah. The Blu-ray shelf.

56
00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:16,423
What is that?

57
00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:18,008
Star-burns also

58
00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:18,008
left me his ashes.

59
00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:19,384
He requested

60
00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:19,384
they be burnt.

61
00:01:19,426 --> 00:01:20,719
I don't think he knows

62
00:01:19,426 --> 00:01:20,719
how ashes work.

63
00:01:20,761 --> 00:01:22,012
The small one's his lizard.

64
00:01:22,053 --> 00:01:23,472
If we rub that,

65
00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:25,307
will he come out and

66
00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:25,307
do celebrity impressions?

67
00:01:25,349 --> 00:01:27,601
I don't think so.

68
00:01:25,349 --> 00:01:27,601
Then I want it out of here.

69
00:01:27,643 --> 00:01:30,980
Tie me to dream

70
00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:34,149
to run out of steam

71
00:01:34,191 --> 00:01:37,653
it can be here

72
00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:41,532
tied up, dead in a year

73
00:01:41,573 --> 00:01:46,578
I should stay

74
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,052
You guys, how long are we

75
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,052
going to avoid talking

76
00:02:02,093 --> 00:02:04,471
about this really serious

77
00:02:02,093 --> 00:02:04,471
thing that's happened?

78
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:06,807
Is it always

79
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:06,807
about the holocaust

80
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:06,807
with you people?

81
00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:10,101
I'm talking

82
00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:10,101
about Star-Burns,

83
00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:10,101
you know, dying.

84
00:02:10,143 --> 00:02:12,646
I know it's sad, but death

85
00:02:10,143 --> 00:02:12,646
is a natural part of life

86
00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:13,981
and by the time

87
00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:13,981
I finish this sentence,

88
00:02:14,023 --> 00:02:15,399
100 people will have

89
00:02:14,023 --> 00:02:15,399
died in China.

90
00:02:16,817 --> 00:02:19,737
Why did you stop talking?

91
00:02:19,778 --> 00:02:21,154
I have to

92
00:02:19,778 --> 00:02:21,154
call my pen pal.

93
00:02:21,196 --> 00:02:22,698
Star-Burns was a good man.

94
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,575
He barely

95
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,575
sued me that time

96
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,575
I ran over his foot.

97
00:02:24,616 --> 00:02:26,869
I say we honor Star-Burns

98
00:02:24,616 --> 00:02:26,869
by discussing him

99
00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:28,370
the same amount we did

100
00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:28,370
when he was alive.

101
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:30,664
Jeff,

102
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:30,664
have some respect.

103
00:02:30,706 --> 00:02:32,791
He might have been

104
00:02:30,706 --> 00:02:32,791
a scuzzy weirdo

105
00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,793
who shaved his sideburns

106
00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,793
into star shapes...

107
00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:35,961
Pai Mai?

108
00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:38,296
It's Troy.

109
00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:38,296
Are you okay?

110
00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,841
Okay, good, I gotta go.

111
00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,841
This costs $7.

112
00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:45,470
But he was also a classmate,

113
00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:45,470
a kinda sorta friend sometimes

114
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:47,723
and above all,

115
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:47,723
a human being.

116
00:02:47,765 --> 00:02:49,140
He touched all our lives.

117
00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:50,308
Annie has a point.

118
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,352
The death of a peer,

119
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,352
especially at our age,

120
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:54,772
can trigger a whole

121
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:54,772
range of emotions.

122
00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:56,732
As a psychologist

123
00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:56,732
Student.

124
00:02:56,774 --> 00:02:58,734
I hereby offer

125
00:02:56,774 --> 00:02:58,734
my licensed

126
00:02:56,774 --> 00:02:58,734
Unlicensed.

127
00:02:58,776 --> 00:02:59,902
services as

128
00:02:58,776 --> 00:02:59,902
a grief counselor.

129
00:02:59,944 --> 00:03:01,987
Grief causer.

130
00:02:59,944 --> 00:03:01,987
If anyone needs to talk,

131
00:03:02,029 --> 00:03:04,406
the doctor is in.

132
00:03:02,029 --> 00:03:04,406
Not even close.

133
00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:07,116
Britta, I could

134
00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:07,116
use some help

135
00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:07,116
dealing with my grief.

136
00:03:07,158 --> 00:03:08,326
Great.

137
00:03:07,158 --> 00:03:08,326
Yeah.

138
00:03:08,368 --> 00:03:10,287
I was hoping

139
00:03:08,368 --> 00:03:10,287
you'd say that, because

140
00:03:11,162 --> 00:03:13,122
I came prepared.

141
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:16,209
You seemed smarter

142
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:16,209
than me when I met you.

143
00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,921
Thank you.

144
00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,921
For the purposes

145
00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,921
of this exercise,

146
00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:21,381
I am Star-Burns.

147
00:03:21,423 --> 00:03:23,968
Tell me the things

148
00:03:21,423 --> 00:03:23,968
you never got

149
00:03:21,423 --> 00:03:23,968
a chance to say to me.

150
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:29,556
Come on, guys,

151
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:29,556
you can ask me anything.

152
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,934
What's heaven like?

153
00:03:31,976 --> 00:03:33,769
Uh, I don't know. Glittery.

154
00:03:33,811 --> 00:03:34,895
Ask me something else.

155
00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:36,480
Have you seen

156
00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:36,480
Tim Russert?

157
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:39,108
Guys, you are

158
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:39,108
doing this wrong.

159
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:39,108
Ask me something personal.

160
00:03:39,149 --> 00:03:40,400
Star-Burns,

161
00:03:39,149 --> 00:03:40,400
I didn't know

162
00:03:39,149 --> 00:03:40,400
you that well,

163
00:03:40,442 --> 00:03:41,819
but why did you smell

164
00:03:40,442 --> 00:03:41,819
exactly like salami?

165
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,279
Abed.

166
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,279
I got one.

167
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,279
Where's my comb?

168
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:45,781
I don't know.

169
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:45,781
Yep, it's him.

170
00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:47,825
Why did you

171
00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:47,825
tape that switchblade

172
00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:47,825
to your ankle?

173
00:03:47,866 --> 00:03:49,367
Why did you always poop

174
00:03:47,866 --> 00:03:49,367
with the stall door open?

175
00:03:49,409 --> 00:03:50,577
Is it true you

176
00:03:49,409 --> 00:03:50,577
made out with Britta?

177
00:03:50,619 --> 00:03:51,954
I don't see

178
00:03:50,619 --> 00:03:51,954
how that's relevant.

179
00:03:51,996 --> 00:03:53,580
It was fat Neil's

180
00:03:51,996 --> 00:03:53,580
black light party.

181
00:03:53,622 --> 00:03:55,874
Vicki saw you.

182
00:03:53,622 --> 00:03:55,874
If that's true...

183
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:59,795
If. Maybe it was because

184
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:59,795
she was really drunk

185
00:03:59,837 --> 00:04:02,714
and she had just found out

186
00:03:59,837 --> 00:04:02,714
that her first boyfriend

187
00:03:59,837 --> 00:04:02,714
was getting married.

188
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:05,425
If you guys are gonna

189
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:05,425
do this wrong, then

190
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:05,425
I'm gonna take these off.

191
00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:06,885
Ow!

192
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,013
Okay, grief counseling

193
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,013
is growing on me.

194
00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:17,813
Ben chang is here.

195
00:04:17,855 --> 00:04:19,648
Ah, send him in.

196
00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,362
Ben, how's it Deaning?

197
00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,362
Can't com-Chang.

198
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:27,489
Just needed you

199
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:27,489
to sign this.

200
00:04:27,531 --> 00:04:28,991
Okay.

201
00:04:29,033 --> 00:04:32,661
Let's just give this

202
00:04:29,033 --> 00:04:32,661
a little look-a-roo.

203
00:04:33,662 --> 00:04:36,081
"Request for

204
00:04:33,662 --> 00:04:36,081
increased security."

205
00:04:36,123 --> 00:04:37,624
"Cool new uniforms."

206
00:04:36,123 --> 00:04:37,624
I like that.

207
00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:40,335
"Power to

208
00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:40,335
enact martial law,"

209
00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:40,335
Not so much.

210
00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,380
"Indefinite detention,

211
00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,380
pepper spray,

212
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:47,258
"involuntary cavity searches,

213
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:47,258
no soft-serve"?

214
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,178
All liquids and gels

215
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,178
must be in sealed bottles

216
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,679
no larger

217
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,679
than three ounces.

218
00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:53,473
I'm sorry, Chang,

219
00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:53,473
this stuff is too extreme.

220
00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:55,809
This is a community college,

221
00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:55,809
not an inner-city high school.

222
00:04:55,851 --> 00:04:58,103
It's a community college

223
00:04:55,851 --> 00:04:58,103
where a degenerate

224
00:04:58,145 --> 00:05:00,271
just blew himself up

225
00:04:58,145 --> 00:05:00,271
with stolen lab equipment.

226
00:05:00,313 --> 00:05:02,440
To be fair,

227
00:05:00,313 --> 00:05:02,440
it was the crystal meth

228
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:05,276
inside the stolen

229
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:05,276
lab equipment

230
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:05,276
that blew him up.

231
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:07,278
That's the problem

232
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:07,278
with you civilian suits.

233
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,239
You want the results

234
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,239
but you don't want to know

235
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,532
how the sausage gets made.

236
00:05:10,574 --> 00:05:12,492
Well, I'll tell you

237
00:05:10,574 --> 00:05:12,492
how the sausage gets made.

238
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:14,870
It's a lot of ground

239
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:14,870
meat and it gets

240
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:14,870
stuffed into a casing

241
00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:17,873
that looks like a cross

242
00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:17,873
between a dude's

243
00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:17,873
dong and a poop.

244
00:05:17,915 --> 00:05:20,042
I don't know

245
00:05:17,915 --> 00:05:20,042
how that helps me,

246
00:05:17,915 --> 00:05:20,042
but please leave.

247
00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:21,919
Fine, but you

248
00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:21,919
will regret this.

249
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,253
I doubt it.

250
00:05:25,296 --> 00:05:26,423
This just came for you.

251
00:05:29,551 --> 00:05:31,178
Great.

252
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:34,347
I have to give

253
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:34,347
more bad news to Jeff

254
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:34,347
and his study group.

255
00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:36,265
Hold my calls,

256
00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:36,265
I have to pick an outfit.

257
00:05:40,938 --> 00:05:42,773
Who wants to dance?

258
00:05:44,273 --> 00:05:45,776
Nice work, everyone.

259
00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:49,029
Now think about that last

260
00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:49,029
little puppy in that basket

261
00:05:49,071 --> 00:05:51,240
out of all those puppies.

262
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,534
And now,

263
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,534
he's catching fire too.

264
00:05:54,576 --> 00:05:57,412
Britta!

265
00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:59,330
Why are you making us

266
00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:59,330
feel these things?

267
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:02,459
We need to bring

268
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:02,459
our emotions to the surface

269
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:02,459
and explore them.

270
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,002
Does it always have

271
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,002
to be puppies though?

272
00:06:04,044 --> 00:06:05,629
Oh, come on, everybody.

273
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:07,464
This is a completely

274
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:07,464
unnecessary process.

275
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,382
What Jeff's

276
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,382
doing right now

277
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,382
is called denial

278
00:06:09,424 --> 00:06:11,426
and it is the first

279
00:06:09,424 --> 00:06:11,426
of five stages of grief

280
00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:13,511
that ends with acceptance.

281
00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,304
Name any other stage.

282
00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,304
What are you, my final?

283
00:06:15,346 --> 00:06:17,266
Maybe we don't need

284
00:06:15,346 --> 00:06:17,266
grief counseling.

285
00:06:17,306 --> 00:06:19,143
But seems like

286
00:06:17,306 --> 00:06:19,143
the least we could do

287
00:06:19,184 --> 00:06:20,894
is have a memorial

288
00:06:19,184 --> 00:06:20,894
or something.

289
00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:23,021
Oh, yes, we could

290
00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:23,021
have a little service

291
00:06:23,063 --> 00:06:24,439
and I could bring

292
00:06:23,063 --> 00:06:24,439
some of my brownies

293
00:06:24,481 --> 00:06:26,233
and I guess someone

294
00:06:24,481 --> 00:06:26,233
should sing Ave Maria.

295
00:06:26,275 --> 00:06:28,026
I mean,

296
00:06:26,275 --> 00:06:28,026
I can do it. Whatever.

297
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:29,653
Sure, why not

298
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:29,653
drag it out for weeks?

299
00:06:29,694 --> 00:06:31,738
Why not wallow

300
00:06:29,694 --> 00:06:31,738
for the rest of our lives

301
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,698
and never

302
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,698
get anything done?

303
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,994
Or we could just admit

304
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,994
the simple fact that one day,

305
00:06:37,035 --> 00:06:40,538
something is in your life

306
00:06:37,035 --> 00:06:40,538
and one day, it's not.

307
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,750
Dean-jour, mes amis!

308
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,169
Unfortunately,

309
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,169
due to the whole

310
00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:47,171
Star-Burns

311
00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:47,171
meth lab explosion,

312
00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:49,173
professor Kane

313
00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:49,173
has resigned,

314
00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:51,716
and you biology class

315
00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:51,716
has been can-can-cancelled.

316
00:06:54,385 --> 00:06:55,804
Your grade is now

317
00:06:54,385 --> 00:06:55,804
an incomplete.

318
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,722
You'll have to make up

319
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,722
the credit in the summer.

320
00:07:01,852 --> 00:07:03,394
My summer is gone?

321
00:07:06,315 --> 00:07:07,774
No.

322
00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:11,361
No!

323
00:07:12,821 --> 00:07:16,033
Well, I had a little

324
00:07:12,821 --> 00:07:16,033
Rockette kick-line

325
00:07:12,821 --> 00:07:16,033
thing planned, but...

326
00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:49,816
Okay.

327
00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:49,816
That was Garrett

328
00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:49,816
singing, um, Ave Maria?

329
00:07:49,858 --> 00:07:52,027
Ave Maria!

330
00:07:52,069 --> 00:07:54,029
Uh, now, Shirley,

331
00:07:52,069 --> 00:07:54,029
I understand you wanted

332
00:07:54,071 --> 00:07:55,989
to sing something as well?

333
00:07:54,071 --> 00:07:55,989
No, thank you.

334
00:07:56,031 --> 00:07:58,533
Okay, then let's move

335
00:07:56,031 --> 00:07:58,533
on to the eulogies.

336
00:07:58,575 --> 00:08:02,246
Does anyone have

337
00:07:58,575 --> 00:08:02,246
anything they wanna say

338
00:07:58,575 --> 00:08:02,246
in the memory of Star-Burns?

339
00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:06,666
Oh! Because his sideburns

340
00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:06,666
were shaped like stars.

341
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:08,960
I just got it.

342
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:08,960
I just got that.

343
00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:10,670
Anything at all.

344
00:08:10,712 --> 00:08:13,631
This is a safe place to

345
00:08:10,712 --> 00:08:13,631
say what you're feeling.

346
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:16,009
I'll say something.

347
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:16,009
Oh, oh.

348
00:08:20,555 --> 00:08:23,433
After learning about

349
00:08:20,555 --> 00:08:23,433
Star-Burns' death,

350
00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:26,686
I personally went through

351
00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:26,686
the stages of grief

352
00:08:26,728 --> 00:08:28,521
and have now arrived

353
00:08:28,563 --> 00:08:30,857
at the final one,

354
00:08:28,563 --> 00:08:30,857
acceptance.

355
00:08:30,899 --> 00:08:32,234
Whoo! Closure!

356
00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:34,319
Acceptance

357
00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:34,319
that this place,

358
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:38,448
this fallujah

359
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:38,448
of higher learning

360
00:08:38,489 --> 00:08:41,492
is a prison from

361
00:08:38,489 --> 00:08:41,492
which none of us

362
00:08:38,489 --> 00:08:41,492
will ever escape.

363
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,203
Okay, Jeffrey,

364
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,203
now we're mixing

365
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,203
metaphors here...

366
00:08:43,245 --> 00:08:44,996
And it turns out

367
00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:49,667
that Star-Burns,

368
00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:49,667
this man in this urn,

369
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:52,087
was a hero to us

370
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:52,087
the whole time

371
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:53,838
because he did

372
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:53,838
the one thing

373
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,549
that none of us

374
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,549
ever tried to do.

375
00:08:57,301 --> 00:08:58,468
He got out.

376
00:09:01,179 --> 00:09:03,640
And then he exploded.

377
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:06,310
Because Greendale

378
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:06,310
hates its students.

379
00:09:06,351 --> 00:09:09,187
No. No.

380
00:09:06,351 --> 00:09:09,187
It sucks the lives

381
00:09:06,351 --> 00:09:09,187
from their bodies

382
00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:12,941
and forces

383
00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:12,941
their desiccated husks

384
00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:12,941
to attend summer school.

385
00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:16,236
Okay, Jeffrey,

386
00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:16,236
this is a funeral.

387
00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:16,236
Let's keep it light.

388
00:09:16,278 --> 00:09:17,946
Annie, Annie,

389
00:09:16,278 --> 00:09:17,946
maybe you could say

390
00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:20,198
something nice

391
00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:20,198
about Star-Burns.

392
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,117
Get some sugar

393
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,117
to go with that spice.

394
00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:23,701
Way to go, Jeff.

395
00:09:27,414 --> 00:09:31,042
Star-Burns or Alex,

396
00:09:27,414 --> 00:09:31,042
as he like to be called,

397
00:09:31,084 --> 00:09:33,086
was a human being.

398
00:09:33,128 --> 00:09:35,046
A Greendale human being.

399
00:09:35,088 --> 00:09:36,506
Like me.

400
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:42,304
I've given this place

401
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:42,304
my childhood,

402
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,848
my enthusiasm,

403
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,848
and my loyalty,

404
00:09:44,889 --> 00:09:47,725
and in return,

405
00:09:44,889 --> 00:09:47,725
Greendale has warped me

406
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,894
like a barbie

407
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,894
in a microwave.

408
00:09:50,812 --> 00:09:53,523
Our school flag

409
00:09:50,812 --> 00:09:53,523
is an anus!

410
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,192
You were the

411
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,192
guys who drew it.

412
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:59,112
We're not even the best

413
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:59,112
community college

414
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:59,112
in our community.

415
00:09:59,154 --> 00:10:01,823
Let that sink in.

416
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:06,119
And the cherry

417
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:06,119
on top on this

418
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:06,119
total lack of sundae,

419
00:10:06,161 --> 00:10:11,249
I'm failing

420
00:10:06,161 --> 00:10:11,249
a remedial biology

421
00:10:06,161 --> 00:10:11,249
class on a technicality

422
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:14,503
all because you don't know

423
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:14,503
how to run a school.

424
00:10:14,544 --> 00:10:16,838
Oh, that's...

425
00:10:14,544 --> 00:10:16,838
Shame on you, Dean.

426
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,799
Shame on you!

427
00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:21,551
Edison out.

428
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:32,145
Wow. Let's maybe

429
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:32,145
not drop the $50 mics,

430
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:32,145
okay, guys?

431
00:10:32,187 --> 00:10:34,064
Shirley, you love Jesus.

432
00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,899
I think

433
00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,899
we all could use

434
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,693
some good old-fashioned

435
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,693
religion right now.

436
00:10:41,029 --> 00:10:43,073
Well, uh, all right.

437
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:47,077
Um, Star-Burns, I'm told,

438
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:47,077
um, was a drug dealer.

439
00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:49,204
Which, of course,

440
00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:49,204
is not good behavior.

441
00:10:49,246 --> 00:10:51,289
Which... But he...

442
00:10:49,246 --> 00:10:51,289
It was a business.

443
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,542
Um, he had

444
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,542
an entrepreneurial spirit.

445
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,377
Amen.

446
00:10:55,419 --> 00:10:57,546
I had an

447
00:10:55,419 --> 00:10:57,546
entrepreneurial spirit.

448
00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,256
I had dreams.

449
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:03,051
Dreams of opening

450
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:03,051
a sandwich shop

451
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:03,051
in this cafeteria.

452
00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:05,595
And Greendale listened

453
00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:05,595
to those dreams,

454
00:11:05,636 --> 00:11:06,721
and stole them.

455
00:11:07,638 --> 00:11:10,892
And sold them to Subway.

456
00:11:16,273 --> 00:11:17,732
Worst wake ever.

457
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:19,859
I'm starting to get

458
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:19,859
nervous about this.

459
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:22,695
Yep, it'd be nice to have

460
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:22,695
some protection, right?

461
00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:24,613
Think maybe it's about

462
00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:24,613
time you signed this?

463
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:30,661
Just promise me

464
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:30,661
you'll use restraint.

465
00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:31,829
Yep. Every type we got.

466
00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:36,585
Gentlemen!

467
00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:36,585
All hail Chang!

468
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:38,920
This is the day

469
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:38,920
we've been waiting for.

470
00:11:38,962 --> 00:11:40,130
Suit up!

471
00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:44,008
You say sucks

472
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,100
Peace.

473
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,100
Boo boo boo.

474
00:11:52,142 --> 00:11:55,061
No, no, no, no, no,

475
00:11:52,142 --> 00:11:55,061
no, oh, no, you don't.

476
00:11:56,854 --> 00:12:00,150
Look, I don't know

477
00:11:56,854 --> 00:12:00,150
how this got

478
00:11:56,854 --> 00:12:00,150
out of hand either.

479
00:12:00,191 --> 00:12:04,070
But as a student

480
00:12:00,191 --> 00:12:04,070
who's been at Greendale

481
00:12:00,191 --> 00:12:04,070
for over a decade,

482
00:12:04,112 --> 00:12:08,116
I think I've earned

483
00:12:04,112 --> 00:12:08,116
the right to say

484
00:12:04,112 --> 00:12:08,116
a few final words.

485
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:09,826
Let him talk!

486
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:13,913
I'm sorry.

487
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:13,913
Thank you, thank you.

488
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,418
Let's burn

489
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,418
this mother down!

490
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:20,504
Yeah!

491
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:23,672
Helter skelter!

492
00:12:25,091 --> 00:12:26,259
No, no, no!

493
00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:35,684
I'm gonna take everything

494
00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:35,684
but onions and olives.

495
00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:38,605
I know

496
00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:38,605
my comb's in here,

497
00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:38,605
you son of a bitch!

498
00:12:47,614 --> 00:12:49,240
Look, tiny riot gear.

499
00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:50,575
Aw!

500
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,792
It's so peppery!

501
00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:03,838
Oh, no.

502
00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:21,022
Strange,

503
00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:21,022
I'm not finding any

504
00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:21,022
pepper spray on you.

505
00:13:21,064 --> 00:13:22,482
Well, check harder.

506
00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:24,775
It's not like I'm crying

507
00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:24,775
because I was chased

508
00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:27,237
by the gang

509
00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:27,237
of scary 12-year-olds.

510
00:13:27,278 --> 00:13:29,614
No entry, we're guarding

511
00:13:27,278 --> 00:13:29,614
general Chang's prisoners.

512
00:13:29,656 --> 00:13:31,115
Okay,

513
00:13:29,656 --> 00:13:31,115
this is my school,

514
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:33,243
and I will enter

515
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:33,243
whatever I want.

516
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:36,162
Well, Subway

517
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:36,162
has threatened to

518
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:36,162
pull out of Greendale

519
00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:38,081
and the school board

520
00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:38,081
is furious.

521
00:13:38,122 --> 00:13:40,584
Tomorrow, they are having

522
00:13:38,122 --> 00:13:40,584
a hearing to investigate

523
00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:45,754
the ringleaders

524
00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:45,754
of the riot, aka

525
00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:45,754
the Greendale Seven.

526
00:13:46,089 --> 00:13:47,591
Catchy.

527
00:13:47,632 --> 00:13:49,800
How about

528
00:13:47,632 --> 00:13:49,800
Pierce Hawthorne

529
00:13:47,632 --> 00:13:49,800
and the Greendale Six?

530
00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:52,011
Pierce!

531
00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:52,011
How about

532
00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:52,011
the Greendale Five?

533
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:54,389
I'm such a bad dean.

534
00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:56,349
No, you're not.

535
00:13:56,391 --> 00:13:57,892
Well, you are. But...

536
00:13:58,893 --> 00:14:00,604
We're worse students.

537
00:14:00,645 --> 00:14:02,063
While you tried

538
00:14:00,645 --> 00:14:02,063
to save Greendale,

539
00:14:02,105 --> 00:14:04,148
we trashed the school

540
00:14:02,105 --> 00:14:04,148
like a TV commercial

541
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:06,109
where the teacher

542
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:06,109
banned skittles.

543
00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,319
That's sweet of you

544
00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,319
to say, Jeffrey.

545
00:14:08,361 --> 00:14:09,862
But it doesn't

546
00:14:08,361 --> 00:14:09,862
change the fact

547
00:14:09,904 --> 00:14:13,742
that we're all Ted Danson

548
00:14:09,904 --> 00:14:13,742
at Whoopie Goldberg's roast.

549
00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:16,494
What if we all back

550
00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:16,494
each other up to the board

551
00:14:16,536 --> 00:14:20,582
and explain the we

552
00:14:16,536 --> 00:14:20,582
were all experiencing

553
00:14:16,536 --> 00:14:20,582
"funeral crazies"?

554
00:14:20,624 --> 00:14:23,460
I can say that's a thing

555
00:14:20,624 --> 00:14:23,460
because I'm a psych major.

556
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:26,879
They're still

557
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:26,879
going to need a fall guy.

558
00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:28,632
How about

559
00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:28,632
the crazy man

560
00:14:28,673 --> 00:14:32,135
who commanded

561
00:14:28,673 --> 00:14:32,135
a bunch of preteens to

562
00:14:28,673 --> 00:14:32,135
spray poison in our faces?

563
00:14:34,262 --> 00:14:35,680
You know what?

564
00:14:35,722 --> 00:14:37,807
It was right under

565
00:14:35,722 --> 00:14:37,807
our noses, wasn't it?

566
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,769
Group hug.

567
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:42,687
Where I'm between

568
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:42,687
Jeff and Troy.

569
00:14:42,729 --> 00:14:45,148
Here we go...

570
00:14:42,729 --> 00:14:45,148
Oop, you're walking

571
00:14:42,729 --> 00:14:45,148
away from the hug.

572
00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:53,072
Hey there, Ben.

573
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:55,116
Would you mind

574
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:55,116
scooching from my desk?

575
00:14:55,158 --> 00:14:57,243
Got some

576
00:14:55,158 --> 00:14:57,243
testimony to prepare

577
00:14:57,285 --> 00:14:59,746
for the school board

578
00:14:57,285 --> 00:14:59,746
meeting tomorrowsies.

579
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:03,833
That testimony wouldn't

580
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:03,833
happen to involve

581
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:03,833
pinning the riot on me.

582
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:06,377
Ben, I'm sorry,

583
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:06,377
but this has gone too far.

584
00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:09,046
I regret issuing those

585
00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:09,046
extraordinary powers to you.

586
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:11,424
I regret letting

587
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:11,424
this child army

588
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:11,424
get out of hand.

589
00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:14,010
I regret giving you that

590
00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:14,010
unasked for adult back rub

591
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:15,679
when you were

592
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:15,679
asleep that once.

593
00:15:17,388 --> 00:15:18,389
I think we're gonna

594
00:15:17,388 --> 00:15:18,389
have to let you go.

595
00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:20,099
Nuh-uh,

596
00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:20,099
ain't happening.

597
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:22,226
I always knew

598
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:22,226
this day would come.

599
00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:25,438
Now the only person getting

600
00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:25,438
replaced around here is you.

601
00:15:28,483 --> 00:15:30,151
Oh, my god, it's me.

602
00:15:30,193 --> 00:15:32,278
I will...

603
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:38,618
The single worst wake riot

604
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:38,618
this district has ever seen.

605
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:41,120
And we've seen our share.

606
00:15:41,162 --> 00:15:45,750
Tables, chairs, floors,

607
00:15:41,162 --> 00:15:45,750
ceilings, all affected.

608
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:50,004
A campus

609
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:50,004
already in mourning

610
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:50,004
is pushed into chaos.

611
00:15:50,046 --> 00:15:52,089
And sitting here

612
00:15:50,046 --> 00:15:52,089
facing me now,

613
00:15:52,131 --> 00:15:54,384
the so-called

614
00:15:52,131 --> 00:15:54,384
Greendale Seven.

615
00:15:54,425 --> 00:15:58,847
Reportedly responsible

616
00:15:54,425 --> 00:15:58,847
for inciting the

617
00:15:54,425 --> 00:15:58,847
entire chain of events.

618
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,892
This is some

619
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,892
pretty serious stuff.

620
00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:06,855
Sir.

621
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:11,067
Although my friends

622
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:11,067
and I behaved

623
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:11,067
somewhat irresponsibly,

624
00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:13,903
we shouldn't forget about

625
00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:13,903
the circumstances on campus.

626
00:16:14,779 --> 00:16:17,323
We had just

627
00:16:14,779 --> 00:16:17,323
lost a classmate.

628
00:16:17,365 --> 00:16:20,117
And a lizard,

629
00:16:17,365 --> 00:16:20,117
Your Majesty.

630
00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:26,249
It was an emotional time

631
00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:26,249
and we acted emotionally.

632
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:30,002
But the real question is,

633
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:30,002
how did the school respond?

634
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:33,047
The riot was exacerbated

635
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:35,216
by the school

636
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:35,216
security staff's

637
00:16:35,258 --> 00:16:38,010
heavy-handed and,

638
00:16:35,258 --> 00:16:38,010
frankly, insane response.

639
00:16:38,052 --> 00:16:40,346
Hey, everyone.

640
00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:41,972
Oh, so sorry

641
00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:41,972
to pop in like this.

642
00:16:42,014 --> 00:16:43,266
I really hope

643
00:16:42,014 --> 00:16:43,266
I'm not interrupting.

644
00:16:43,307 --> 00:16:45,852
Just wanted to see how

645
00:16:43,307 --> 00:16:45,852
everything's going,

646
00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:47,228
and those are

647
00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:47,228
for you fellows.

648
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:49,439
I never forget a face

649
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:49,439
or a favorite cookie.

650
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,482
And I brought extras,

651
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,482
because I know how Richie

652
00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:53,943
got into that

653
00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:53,943
last basket I brought.

654
00:16:53,984 --> 00:16:55,945
Probably good

655
00:16:53,984 --> 00:16:55,945
to have a backup.

656
00:16:55,986 --> 00:16:58,907
I did. I did get into

657
00:16:55,986 --> 00:16:58,907
them pretty good.

658
00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:01,325
So everything going okay?

659
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:03,286
Or are you guys going to

660
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:03,286
trash this building too?

661
00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,455
Yeah, we were just

662
00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,455
going over the charges.

663
00:17:05,496 --> 00:17:07,749
Seems like you

664
00:17:05,496 --> 00:17:07,749
had your hands full

665
00:17:05,496 --> 00:17:07,749
with these individuals.

666
00:17:07,791 --> 00:17:09,292
This is crazy.

667
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,586
You guys are

668
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,586
really buying this?

669
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,586
Excuse me?

670
00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:14,505
Chang is a psychopathic

671
00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:14,505
wannabe warlord

672
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,841
with an army

673
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,841
of prepubescent thugs.

674
00:17:16,883 --> 00:17:20,804
He was living

675
00:17:16,883 --> 00:17:20,804
in the school's air

676
00:17:16,883 --> 00:17:20,804
vent system with a monkey!

677
00:17:20,845 --> 00:17:22,096
That's not...

678
00:17:22,138 --> 00:17:23,807
Well, where's the dean?

679
00:17:22,138 --> 00:17:23,807
He'll tell you.

680
00:17:23,848 --> 00:17:26,058
Hey, guys.

681
00:17:23,848 --> 00:17:26,058
Can't stay, gotta run,

682
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,770
but, uh,

683
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,770
these troublemakers

684
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,770
have got to go.

685
00:17:31,773 --> 00:17:33,232
I think

686
00:17:31,773 --> 00:17:33,232
I've heard enough,

687
00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:35,693
and I don't see

688
00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:35,693
what choice I have.

689
00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:37,737
Greendale Seven.

690
00:17:37,779 --> 00:17:39,530
Jeff Winger,

691
00:17:37,779 --> 00:17:39,530
Annie Edison,

692
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:42,909
Pierce Hawthorne,

693
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:42,909
Britta Perry,

694
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:42,909
Shirley Bennet,

695
00:17:42,951 --> 00:17:45,578
Abed Nadir,

696
00:17:42,951 --> 00:17:45,578
Troy Barnes,

697
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:49,916
you are hereby expelled from

698
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:49,916
Greendale community college.

699
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:52,084
May god have mercy

700
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:52,084
on your souls.

701
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:55,797
Rusty Bucket?

702
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:55,797
Rusty Bucket?

703
00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:57,047
Rusty Bucket?

704
00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:57,047
Yep.

705
00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,342
Okay,

706
00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,342
transform and roll out.

707
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:09,936
13 years of college

708
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:09,936
down the drain.

709
00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:11,270
I was gonna be

710
00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:11,270
the first one in my family

711
00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:13,523
to graduate from

712
00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:13,523
community college.

713
00:18:13,564 --> 00:18:16,651
Everyone else graduated

714
00:18:13,564 --> 00:18:16,651
from normal college.

715
00:18:16,693 --> 00:18:19,779
Now they're really gonna

716
00:18:16,693 --> 00:18:19,779
give me a hard time.

717
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,115
You're drinking?

718
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,115
Yeah, well, my life

719
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,115
can't get double ruined.

720
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:25,201
Can't believe

721
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:25,201
we're expelled.

722
00:18:25,242 --> 00:18:26,661
Greendale was our home.

723
00:18:26,703 --> 00:18:28,162
Britta, isn't it time

724
00:18:26,703 --> 00:18:28,162
for you to explain

725
00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:29,580
that every failure

726
00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:29,580
is also an opportunity?

727
00:18:29,622 --> 00:18:32,249
Whatever, I'm the worst.

728
00:18:29,622 --> 00:18:32,249
I'm also the worst.

729
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,794
Not gonna argue,

730
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,794
but I am gonna forgive you.

731
00:18:34,836 --> 00:18:37,630
That's the pizza.

732
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,256
Roll a die to see

733
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,256
who gets it?

734
00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:41,759
I'll get it.

735
00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:44,929
You guys remember our

736
00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:44,929
housewarming party?

737
00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:47,473
What would have happened

738
00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:47,473
if I had just let Jeff

739
00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:47,473
roll the die that night?

740
00:18:47,515 --> 00:18:49,809
I assumed this

741
00:18:47,515 --> 00:18:49,809
was the best timeline,

742
00:18:47,515 --> 00:18:49,809
but what if it's the darkest?

743
00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:52,353
Well, I don't

744
00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:52,353
think anyone knows

745
00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:52,353
what you're talking about,

746
00:18:52,395 --> 00:18:54,480
but it does seem like things

747
00:18:52,395 --> 00:18:54,480
couldn't get any worse.

748
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:03,072
No.

749
00:19:04,323 --> 00:19:06,200
We're all gonna

750
00:19:04,323 --> 00:19:06,200
get through this.

751
00:19:06,242 --> 00:19:08,578
We're all alive

752
00:19:06,242 --> 00:19:08,578
and we're all fine.

753
00:19:09,954 --> 00:19:11,706
And Britta,

754
00:19:09,954 --> 00:19:11,706
you're not the worst.

755
00:19:12,957 --> 00:19:14,083
You're the best.

756
00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:18,880
He's right.

757
00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:18,880
Things are bad.

758
00:19:19,714 --> 00:19:21,632
But we're together.

759
00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:22,926
That makes this

760
00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:22,926
the perfect timeline.

761
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:25,135
Wait.

762
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:25,135
There are other timelines?

763
00:19:33,061 --> 00:19:34,520
Pizza time.

764
00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:16,270
blood in your eyes

765
00:20:16,312 --> 00:20:18,815
fight with steel

766
00:20:30,994 --> 00:20:34,789
and honor