1 00:00:01,966 --> 00:00:04,224 Look at us. Still together as a group 2 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,256 even, what, two months after being kicked out 3 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,538 of you know where. 4 00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:10,874 Yeah, good thing I came up 5 00:00:10,913 --> 00:00:12,331 with this idea for potluck dinners. 6 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:13,979 Pierce, all you said was, "I'm hungry." 7 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,731 All Henry Ford said was, "I need a ride." 8 00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,317 Troy, is that a casserole? 9 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:19,155 It's bagel bites 10 00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:20,874 in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction 11 00:00:20,927 --> 00:00:22,127 with a doritos glaze. 12 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,104 I just really want to make my food, you know. 13 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,159 Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison? 14 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,029 I need to eat natural, organic foods, 15 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,514 or I'm never gonna get rid of this hangover. 16 00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:33,782 Jeff, what'd you bring? 17 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,618 Pack of lifesavers. 18 00:00:36,653 --> 00:00:38,170 Sorry. Dead battery. 19 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,821 Where's Abed? 20 00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,290 Have you seen Abed? 21 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,776 He's probably out getting something really cool 22 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,327 for the dinner. 23 00:00:45,328 --> 00:00:51,300 See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police. 24 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,269 Abed, what happened? 25 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,637 Found your friend going through the dumpster 26 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,838 outside the administration building in Greendale again. 27 00:00:56,839 --> 00:01:01,277 This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol. 28 00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,394 It's okay, officer. 29 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,513 He's just playing a character from TV. 30 00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:07,650 Oh, yes, I'm very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. 31 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,684 You think a guy becomes a cop 32 00:01:08,685 --> 00:01:10,319 because his prom night was a dream? 33 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,239 If this were comic-con, I'd take a bullet for that kid. 34 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,708 But, here in the real world, trespassing is a crime. 35 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,875 We're sorry, officer. 36 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,128 Our friend has been having a hard time 37 00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:22,464 adjusting to being expelled from Greendale. 38 00:01:22,465 --> 00:01:24,450 - It won't happen again. - That's for sure. 39 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,536 I talked to your former Dean. I recommended he press charges. 40 00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:28,637 He said he'd hold off 41 00:01:28,638 --> 00:01:30,872 on the condition that you set an appointment with this guy. 42 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,224 He's offering to foot 43 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,842 the bill for the consultation himself. 44 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,227 It's the number for a psychiatrist. 45 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,379 What? No. Abed's not crazy. 46 00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:39,648 Where does the Dean get off? He's not the real Dean. 47 00:01:39,649 --> 00:01:41,517 He's been replaced by an identical life-form 48 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,968 for some nefarious purpose. 49 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,853 Reggie, to the time booth. 50 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,905 We haven't much... space. 51 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:50,025 I'll be right there, Inspector. 52 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,728 Hey, before I go, you really shouldn't be using this 53 00:01:52,729 --> 00:01:54,496 to prop open your building's door. 54 00:01:54,497 --> 00:01:55,998 This is an antique fire brick. 55 00:01:55,999 --> 00:01:57,616 I'd say pre-civil war. 56 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:01,370 Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. 57 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,422 What a nifty little piece of americana. 58 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:07,176 You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector. 59 00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:08,911 I watch a lot of antiques roadshow. 60 00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:11,196 Oh. 61 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,183 Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. 62 00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:17,069 Rape's up 8%. 63 00:02:18,588 --> 00:02:22,024 $60? 64 00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,476 Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you. 65 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,028 Yes, I'll hold. 66 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,788 Sync & corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 67 00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,597 Abed. 68 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,047 I'm Dr. Heidi. 69 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,766 We're going to have a little chat tonight, 70 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,017 you and I. How does that sound? 71 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,121 I don't need therapy. 72 00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:08,127 Well, that's a perfectly normal response. 73 00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:10,251 I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis. 74 00:03:10,573 --> 00:03:12,241 I haven't diagnosed anything yet. 75 00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,165 Psych major. Got your back, brah. 76 00:03:15,637 --> 00:03:20,038 I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you. 77 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,835 Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own. 78 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,836 We caught him last year 79 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,604 trying to remove his own tonsils. 80 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,756 Well, why don't you let me take it from here? 81 00:03:27,757 --> 00:03:28,941 You have to understand about Abed. 82 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,826 He's usually, you know, adorable weird, 83 00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:33,445 like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled, 84 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:36,298 he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams. 85 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,333 - I'm not crazy. - Well, Abed, 86 00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:40,302 I don't deal in crazy. 87 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,337 - I deal in health. - Hmm. 88 00:03:42,338 --> 00:03:45,974 So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help? 89 00:03:48,945 --> 00:03:54,349 All of this behavior started after you were expelled? 90 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:57,202 There may have been a ramp-up. 91 00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,323 It's okay, buddy. 92 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,325 Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay? 93 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,860 But it doesn't make any sense. 94 00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:06,128 Think of it this way. 95 00:04:06,129 --> 00:04:08,464 We get the hour back later in the year. 96 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:11,467 Yeah. 97 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,135 I "Rent Tower Heist" last night, 98 00:04:13,136 --> 00:04:14,703 and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you, 99 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,889 it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride. 100 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:20,426 That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure. 101 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,095 Mm. A master at storytelling. 102 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,347 He's just a master at making movies in general. 103 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,716 I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg. 104 00:04:27,717 --> 00:04:30,886 Oh! 105 00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:32,604 I have to go. Excuse me. 106 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,523 Okay. 107 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:40,395 You're a bad person. You're a bad person. 108 00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:43,532 Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. 109 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,083 Though even he knew that this sandwich 110 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,035 was nearer his last sandwich than his first. 111 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,170 Abed, I'm trying to eat. 112 00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,405 He said, oldly, 113 00:04:49,421 --> 00:04:51,154 his brittle bones straining to support the weight 114 00:04:51,162 --> 00:04:53,586 of his wrinkly skin. 115 00:04:54,554 --> 00:04:56,549 Stop narrating me. 116 00:04:56,579 --> 00:04:57,763 He shouted to no one, 117 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,097 just a man alone in time with nothing 118 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:01,517 but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him. 119 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,968 I take it back. 120 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,937 I don't want to be in your novel. 121 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,088 Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. 122 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,857 Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel. 123 00:05:08,858 --> 00:05:12,478 And action. 124 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,429 Abed, what the hell are you doing? 125 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,097 Cut. We got it. One more for safety. 126 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,332 Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning, 127 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,600 and you're in my bedroom. 128 00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:19,601 Use that. Okay. 129 00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:21,370 And action. 130 00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:24,439 But that's almost completely nearly all of it. 131 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,325 If Abed is as sick as you all say, 132 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,659 then I have no... Wait a minute. 133 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,278 Nobody in this room gets to define sick. 134 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:31,413 I do. 135 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,881 I'm a psychiatrist. 136 00:05:32,882 --> 00:05:34,917 Any kind of doctor can really. 137 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,117 - Really? - Yes. 138 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,419 Well, if Abed's sick, 139 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,721 then we're all sick. Yeah. 140 00:05:39,722 --> 00:05:41,340 You can't determine a person's sanity 141 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,958 from a few amusing stories. 142 00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,393 - Exactly. - That's right. 143 00:05:44,394 --> 00:05:47,095 I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us. 144 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,129 Yeah. Well. 145 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,983 I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us, 146 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:56,021 but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants. 147 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,490 Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants. 148 00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,158 Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year 149 00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:01,293 for everybody. 150 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,195 Who among us hasn't had the odd banana 151 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,696 in his or her pants, right? 152 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,314 I have. 153 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,759 How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend. 154 00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:22,931 What are you doing? 155 00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,266 Nothing. 156 00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:25,400 Nothing my ass. 157 00:06:25,401 --> 00:06:27,335 What are all these cameras doing here? 158 00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:34,109 Here, take my coat. 159 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,561 Oh. 160 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,446 Thank you. 161 00:06:37,447 --> 00:06:40,015 That's so sweet. 162 00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:41,984 Just don't eat anything or drink anything, 163 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,987 and no sweating or bending at the elbows, 164 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,856 and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off, 165 00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:51,627 wooden hangers only. 166 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,695 You're probably warm now, right? 167 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,800 Good news, guys. 168 00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:00,218 I spent all my money. 169 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,870 Troy, you can't bring that in here. 170 00:07:01,871 --> 00:07:03,705 Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy. 171 00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:05,424 I made a plate of cookies for the study group, 172 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,725 but my boys ate them, 173 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,510 so since they took something of yours, 174 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,429 you all get something of theirs. 175 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,230 Elijah loves this, Britta. 176 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,882 There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy. 177 00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:15,884 There you go, Pierce. 178 00:07:15,885 --> 00:07:19,237 Karate championship, second place! 179 00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,989 Now I'll be unstoppable. 180 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:23,224 Oyay! 181 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,860 So you see what you call insanity 182 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,612 we call solidarity. 183 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,829 I'm sorry. 184 00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:29,915 We just finished telling him about it, 185 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,249 and you grab it and squeeze it? 186 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,234 - I said I was sorry. - Uh-huh. 187 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:36,288 And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed 188 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,406 in these little misadventures? 189 00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:39,541 Take that back. 190 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:44,412 Our adventures are very manly. 191 00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:45,914 I have to say there's more important 192 00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:47,883 to mental health than a support system. 193 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,551 And assuming that this group is, 194 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,170 for Abed, said support system, 195 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,222 I think I've heard everything I need to hear 196 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,341 in order to make a decision. 197 00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:58,577 I think that Abed should be committed. 198 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,098 You mean committed to his character work, right? 199 00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:05,433 Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper. 200 00:08:05,434 --> 00:08:06,868 Cigarettes. 201 00:08:06,869 --> 00:08:10,155 No, I mean an institution. 202 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,840 You mean like marriage? 203 00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:13,325 I mean a mental institution. 204 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,227 Ah. So do I. 205 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,279 Will someone please help me lighten the mood? 206 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,018 Please, Mr. Dr. Psychiatrist, sir, 207 00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:28,322 please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail. 208 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,874 Relax. He doesn't have the right. 209 00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:31,092 Abed's not dangerous. 210 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:33,828 Yeah, he's just unique, like a snowflake 211 00:08:33,829 --> 00:08:35,163 who gets bent out of shape 212 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,798 when you mix up Star Wars and space treks. 213 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:38,900 Or a serial killer's signature. 214 00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,351 I'm a psych major. 215 00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,787 His continued obsession with Greendale Community College 216 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,773 suggests the potential for escalation. 217 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,691 And, frankly, these stories you've been telling me 218 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,026 are very troubling. 219 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,360 You're troubled? 220 00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,112 I don't remember any of those things happening. 221 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,431 Since when do these three live together? 222 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:54,765 Look, Abed's obsession with Greendale 223 00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:55,867 doesn't make him crazy. 224 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,068 If you had gone to school there, 225 00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:58,269 you'd be obsessed with it too. 226 00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,788 It was a messed-up place. 227 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,189 - We had lockers. - Yeah. 228 00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,824 We're survivors. 229 00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:07,111 My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin. 230 00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,497 Who's weady to wearn? 231 00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:13,084 Dean, this is not the way to agree on parking 232 00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,620 for the job fair! It's inhumane. 233 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,088 You have a better idea, Britta? 234 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,891 Yes. Thousands of them. 235 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,677 Vicki to Queen 3. 236 00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:24,629 Neigh. 237 00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:33,471 That's all for today. Read chapter four. 238 00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:39,577 Okay, we're just gonna ignore that. 239 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,040 - Bananas? - Yes. 240 00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,491 - Toast? - Yes. 241 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,210 - Bubble gum? - Yes. 242 00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:56,661 - Pancakes? - Yes. 243 00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:59,631 - Fries? - Get out. 244 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,933 Get out. 245 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,103 There's one every year. I will not tolerate clowning. 246 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,671 - Car keys? - Yes. 247 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:12,310 Okay, last bathroom break. We've got to cram for... 248 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:15,012 Excuse me, sir, can we get to our... 249 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,400 Slow your bones, Rufus. 250 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:22,019 We got a long road tomorrow. 251 00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:25,373 Welcome... 252 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,495 to ladders. 253 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,133 Interesting. 254 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,467 Eh. 255 00:10:36,468 --> 00:10:38,670 Just wanted to see if we got the same thing. 256 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,640 It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect 257 00:10:41,653 --> 00:10:42,871 on all of you. 258 00:10:42,904 --> 00:10:44,898 You should all definitely stop dwelling on it 259 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:45,977 if you want to be healthy. 260 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,313 Well, come on, it wasn't all bad. 261 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,565 I was there longer than anybody, and I'm fine. 262 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:51,733 How are you? 263 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,184 Why do you ask? 3:30. 264 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,403 Uh-oh. 265 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,437 What Pierce was saying 266 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,690 before he started sundowning is true. 267 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,025 We can't just pass the crazy buck to Greendale. 268 00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:02,660 It could be a good place too. 269 00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:03,728 That really doesn't matter. 270 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,079 Yeah, we have a lot of memories 271 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,831 of Greendale being in our corner. 272 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:07,916 Dean-a-ling. 273 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,200 I just wanted to drop by 274 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,119 and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out 275 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,071 to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion. 276 00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:15,123 Is there a fire drill? 277 00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:16,674 No, sir, there's an actual fire. 278 00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,209 I wanted you guys to be the first to know 279 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,510 before I tell everyone else. 280 00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:21,346 I know. It's not right to play favorites, 281 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,097 but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, 282 00:11:23,098 --> 00:11:24,632 and I don't know what I'd do without you guys. 283 00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:25,767 Whoa. 284 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,052 Okay, fire, fire! There's a fire! 285 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,563 Darcy, you've got a cold. 286 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:41,098 - I feel fine. - You're sick. Go home! 287 00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,483 Get out of here. Get out of here. 288 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,369 Get out of here. Get out of here! 289 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,205 I can't believe we got here too late for pizza. 290 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,939 Worst pizza day ever. 291 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,241 Oh, darn it. 292 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:54,912 What am I gonna do with all this garbage? 293 00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:58,249 Psst, it's me, the Dean. 294 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:02,286 I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you. 295 00:12:02,287 --> 00:12:04,255 Ohh. 296 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,507 Back to garbage detail. 297 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,293 We have a few students with birthdays today, 298 00:12:09,294 --> 00:12:11,396 but, hey, why single them out? 299 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,530 What about the students 300 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,148 who aren't celebrating anything at all? 301 00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:16,768 Are they any less special? 302 00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:35,620 Damn it. Out of slugs. 303 00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,789 Next time, I'll put you square, 304 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,658 you pickle-sucking MacGillycuddy. 305 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:43,294 Why did you save me, Dean? 306 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:46,514 I know how important paintball is to you, Abed. 307 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,132 I wanted you to win. 308 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,268 It's not important anymore. I get it now. 309 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,670 It just feels forced. 310 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,172 You just enjoy your prize... 311 00:12:55,173 --> 00:12:58,109 Free tickets to... 312 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,010 to see 'Chicago" at the Greendale Civic Center... 313 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:06,284 with George Wendt and... 314 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:10,655 Stefanie Powers. 315 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:16,461 Lame! 316 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,945 Okay. 317 00:13:17,946 --> 00:13:19,363 That was great, 318 00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,249 but you really didn't need to go into it. 319 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,867 You know what occurs to me? 320 00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,920 What all those great Greendale memories have in common? 321 00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:26,921 I was barely in them? 322 00:13:26,922 --> 00:13:28,289 They were all about Dean Pelton. 323 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:29,457 That's what I've been trying to make 324 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:30,892 you guys understand for the last two months. 325 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,310 I keep telling you, 326 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,728 we weren't expelled by the real Dean. 327 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,646 It couldn't have been him. He loved us. 328 00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:38,549 Maybe we've been so concerned with moving past Greendale, 329 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,134 we've been living in denial. 330 00:13:40,135 --> 00:13:42,603 It's true. I mean, let's face it. 331 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,139 We weren't driven crazy by Greendale. 332 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:48,693 And Abed's not the crazy one for obsessing about it. 333 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,778 Abed, we're sorry. We haven't been supporting you, 334 00:13:50,779 --> 00:13:52,997 and we haven't been honest with ourselves. 335 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,366 Dr. Heidi, something weird is going on with that school. 336 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:59,403 Abed doesn't need to be here. We need to be there. 337 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,173 But there is no there. 338 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,575 That's the problem. That's why we have to go back. 339 00:14:04,576 --> 00:14:06,844 No, you can't go back to Greendale. 340 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,212 Why? Because it isn't healthy? 341 00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:11,849 'Cause it doesn't exist. 342 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,919 I parked by a meter. 343 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,688 Any of y'all park by a meter? 344 00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:18,986 Wait, what? 345 00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:26,203 What you mean, Greendale doesn't exist? 346 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,504 Well, there is a place called Greendale, 347 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:30,864 and you all spent three years there, 348 00:14:30,881 --> 00:14:34,017 but it was not a community college. 349 00:14:38,579 --> 00:14:41,581 These memories that you people have been sharing 350 00:14:41,692 --> 00:14:44,942 are a shared psychosis. 351 00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,272 You were patients there together, 352 00:14:46,273 --> 00:14:48,578 you were released together, and I am alarmed to see 353 00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:51,698 that you are now relapsing together. 354 00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:53,727 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 355 00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:56,637 This is not real. You're lying. 356 00:14:56,668 --> 00:14:59,386 Search your mind for the real memories. 357 00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:02,288 Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out. 358 00:15:02,289 --> 00:15:04,415 - What trauma? - You all came 359 00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:06,737 to this community college 360 00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:08,238 after your lives had fractured. 361 00:15:08,328 --> 00:15:10,574 Pill addiction, failed legal career, 362 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,779 broken marriage, lost scholarship, 363 00:15:13,992 --> 00:15:15,467 - old. - Enough! 364 00:15:15,502 --> 00:15:17,247 I don't want to hear mine. 365 00:15:17,270 --> 00:15:19,354 And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, 366 00:15:19,487 --> 00:15:22,177 why would we fabricate a community college? 367 00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:26,224 Ah, yes, this fantastical community college 368 00:15:26,247 --> 00:15:29,339 where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous 369 00:15:29,354 --> 00:15:32,406 and it all revolves around you as a group. 370 00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:35,612 The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, miss Perry. 371 00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:37,776 It was a mentally-compatible alternative 372 00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:39,964 to your grim reality. 373 00:15:45,307 --> 00:15:47,540 Can you believe the secret trampoline we found? 374 00:15:47,562 --> 00:15:49,894 I know. It's so great. 375 00:15:58,068 --> 00:15:59,351 For Greendale! 376 00:15:59,352 --> 00:16:01,466 Charge! 377 00:16:01,497 --> 00:16:02,780 Come on, Leonard. 378 00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:04,335 - Yow! - Ooh! 379 00:16:15,065 --> 00:16:17,071 - Let's do a clip show. - Bottle episode. 380 00:16:17,079 --> 00:16:18,700 - Don't forget the clip show. - Harrison Ford. 381 00:16:18,735 --> 00:16:20,035 - Remember when we went camping? - Yes. 382 00:16:20,036 --> 00:16:21,203 Remember when we painted the nursery? 383 00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:22,621 - Yes. - Remember when we remembered 384 00:16:22,622 --> 00:16:24,200 going camping while we were in the nursery? 385 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,874 I'm a millionaire, I'm an inventor, 386 00:16:29,913 --> 00:16:32,882 I'm a legend, and I had sex with Eartha Kitt. 387 00:16:32,883 --> 00:16:34,049 It's sad. 388 00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,551 Should we increase their lithium? 389 00:16:35,552 --> 00:16:36,618 Not yet. 390 00:16:36,619 --> 00:16:38,220 I want to see what happens 391 00:16:38,221 --> 00:16:40,556 if we confiscate one of their pens. 392 00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:50,015 - It's not possible. - Mm. 393 00:16:50,016 --> 00:16:54,336 You say you started as a Spanish study group. 394 00:16:54,337 --> 00:16:55,821 Do any of you speak Spanish? 395 00:16:55,822 --> 00:16:58,357 Mi hambre es bombero tirantes. 396 00:16:58,358 --> 00:16:59,975 And you've attended Greendale for three years, 397 00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:02,778 but don't community colleges end after two? 398 00:17:02,779 --> 00:17:04,580 Everyone's always saying that. 399 00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:07,082 The average community college student attends school 400 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,284 five to seven years. 401 00:17:08,285 --> 00:17:09,785 Many offer four-year degrees. 402 00:17:09,786 --> 00:17:11,587 In your mind, they do. 403 00:17:11,588 --> 00:17:12,872 In your mind. 404 00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:16,658 And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time 405 00:17:16,659 --> 00:17:18,260 all those people got into swing dance music 406 00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:19,411 back in the '90s. 407 00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:21,149 And then you were released, 408 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,827 probably because your insurance ran out. 409 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,380 But the official story is that you're now fit 410 00:17:25,418 --> 00:17:27,887 to live within society again. 411 00:17:27,888 --> 00:17:31,023 You just have to accept the truth. 412 00:17:41,818 --> 00:17:43,819 Wait. 413 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,488 Give me a break. 414 00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:47,239 That made no sense. 415 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,240 Yeah, it's me. 416 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,042 No, I think they bought it. 417 00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:51,377 I had to do a little riffing at the end, 418 00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:54,079 but I was pretty convincing. 419 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,966 Well, if it looks like I'm sneaking out the window, 420 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,385 it's just a symptom of your deepening psychosis. 421 00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:01,837 - Don't hurt me. - Greendale doesn't exist? 422 00:18:01,838 --> 00:18:03,422 How long did you think we'd buy that? 423 00:18:03,423 --> 00:18:05,558 I'm literally carrying a Greendale backpack. 424 00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:07,393 I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone. 425 00:18:07,394 --> 00:18:08,894 I have children I see every day. 426 00:18:08,895 --> 00:18:10,866 I have definitely not been locked up. 427 00:18:10,928 --> 00:18:11,949 Get him. 428 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,154 Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy? 429 00:18:15,186 --> 00:18:16,536 Because, Ms. Edison, 430 00:18:16,686 --> 00:18:18,437 Greendale is purgatory, 431 00:18:18,438 --> 00:18:20,489 and I am the devil. 432 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,691 - What? - I knew it. 433 00:18:22,692 --> 00:18:25,778 Stop letting him make you realize stuff. 434 00:18:25,779 --> 00:18:27,162 These aren't even good lies. 435 00:18:27,163 --> 00:18:28,864 All right, fine, I had to come up with something. 436 00:18:28,865 --> 00:18:30,616 - You were getting too close. - Close to what? 437 00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:31,834 To the truth. 438 00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:32,952 The Indian kid was right. 439 00:18:32,953 --> 00:18:34,353 - He's Arabic. - Also Polish. 440 00:18:34,354 --> 00:18:35,754 Whatever. I'm a fake psychiatrist, 441 00:18:35,755 --> 00:18:36,872 not a fake ethnologist. 442 00:18:36,873 --> 00:18:38,707 The point is your Dean was kidnapped 443 00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:40,125 by Ben Chang and replaced 444 00:18:40,126 --> 00:18:41,293 with a double. 445 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,761 I was hired to keep you off the scent. 446 00:18:42,762 --> 00:18:44,346 Chang kidnapped the Dean? 447 00:18:44,347 --> 00:18:45,681 Even for him, that's insane. 448 00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:47,550 Is it? Think about it. 449 00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:57,393 Whoo! I said hot damn! 450 00:18:57,394 --> 00:19:00,396 Chang... 451 00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:01,730 What are you doing? 452 00:19:01,731 --> 00:19:03,315 I'm predicting future crimes. 453 00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,901 Now I'm sick. 454 00:19:05,902 --> 00:19:07,953 See, you said that would happen. 455 00:19:07,954 --> 00:19:09,572 You are a pre-cog! 456 00:19:19,299 --> 00:19:22,051 Again. 457 00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:27,789 You're weak. 458 00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:29,675 Uh, guys, 459 00:19:29,676 --> 00:19:31,260 while we were remembering Chang is crazy, 460 00:19:31,261 --> 00:19:32,695 the fake doctor sneaked away. 461 00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:34,063 - Oh, crap! - What? 462 00:19:34,064 --> 00:19:35,931 There goes our only chance of clearing our names. 463 00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:38,734 You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. 464 00:19:38,735 --> 00:19:41,570 He's out there somewhere, alone and cold 465 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,572 and most likely trying to cobble together 466 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,107 a sexy Patty Hearst costume. 467 00:19:45,108 --> 00:19:47,076 Britta's right. Wait, what? 468 00:19:47,077 --> 00:19:48,827 We need to rescue the Dean. 469 00:19:48,828 --> 00:19:50,162 We need to get back to that school. 470 00:19:50,163 --> 00:19:51,864 And we definitely never need to do another paintball. 471 00:19:51,865 --> 00:19:53,449 - Yeah. - See, therapy does work. 472 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:55,834 - We're cured. - Aw. Aw. 473 00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,123 Sounds like the study group has gotten wise 474 00:20:01,124 --> 00:20:03,459 to Operation Doppel-Deaner. 475 00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:06,795 It's time for phase two. What's phase two? 476 00:20:06,796 --> 00:20:08,547 Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are. 477 00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:10,332 Pitches, pitches, pitches. 478 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,313 Ah, thank you, Megan. 479 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:18,906 Nights. 480 00:20:19,036 --> 00:20:20,358 Welcome back, all you night owls. 481 00:20:20,404 --> 00:20:22,054 Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines? 482 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,707 Talk to us, lonely hearts. We got Jeff W. calling. 483 00:20:24,708 --> 00:20:25,924 Hello? 484 00:20:26,049 --> 00:20:27,856 Hey, Jeff, what's your question? 485 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,645 - Who is this? - Great question. 486 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,943 - We're us. - You guys, 487 00:20:30,988 --> 00:20:32,592 it's 3:00 in the morning. 488 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,355 I'm trying to sleep. 489 00:20:34,402 --> 00:20:35,553 I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. 490 00:20:35,577 --> 00:20:37,582 Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information. 491 00:20:37,589 --> 00:20:38,981 Yeah, we'll get you the help you need. 492 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,785 Our next caller's Annie E. 493 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:41,967 What's on your mind tonight, Annie? 494 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:44,827 Hey, guys, long time, first time, love the show. 495 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,774 Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help? 496 00:20:48,148 --> 00:20:50,417 You can shut up and go to sleep. 497 00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:54,687 Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time 498 00:20:54,702 --> 00:20:56,329 we have tonight. Yeah, until next time, 499 00:20:56,349 --> 00:20:57,616 may your dreams be sweet 500 00:20:57,648 --> 00:20:59,716 and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary 501 00:20:59,733 --> 00:21:01,600 and not "grandma died" scary. 502 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,866 Nights.