1 00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:03,753 So cellular mitosis 2 00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:03,753 is what? 3 00:00:03,794 --> 00:00:04,920 I miss Troy. 4 00:00:04,962 --> 00:00:06,756 Wrong, and stop 5 00:00:04,962 --> 00:00:06,756 guessing that. 6 00:00:06,797 --> 00:00:08,257 Annie. 7 00:00:06,797 --> 00:00:08,257 I'm worried 8 00:00:06,797 --> 00:00:08,257 about Abed. 9 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,967 He hasn't 10 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,967 left the apartment 11 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,967 since Troy moved out. 12 00:00:10,008 --> 00:00:11,927 He won't even play 13 00:00:10,008 --> 00:00:11,927 in the Dreamatorium. 14 00:00:11,969 --> 00:00:13,011 Sorry, not "play." 15 00:00:13,053 --> 00:00:14,555 "Render imaginated 16 00:00:13,053 --> 00:00:14,555 dreamscapes." 17 00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,683 Guys, we just finished 18 00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,683 retaking biology all summer, 19 00:00:17,725 --> 00:00:19,851 and if I don't 20 00:00:17,725 --> 00:00:19,851 pass this final, 21 00:00:17,725 --> 00:00:19,851 it was for nothing. 22 00:00:19,893 --> 00:00:21,312 Can we stay on target? 23 00:00:21,353 --> 00:00:23,564 Did someone say 24 00:00:21,353 --> 00:00:23,564 "sexy construction worker"? 25 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,399 Ooh! 26 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,399 Stay... Stay on target. 27 00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:29,987 I'm dressed like this 28 00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:29,987 because I'm building 29 00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:29,987 to big news. 30 00:00:30,028 --> 00:00:32,906 Subway has officially ended 31 00:00:30,028 --> 00:00:32,906 its agreement with Greendale, 32 00:00:32,948 --> 00:00:34,575 and the restaurant 33 00:00:32,948 --> 00:00:34,575 I've chosen 34 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,746 to occupy 35 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,746 the cafeteria kiosk is... 36 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,248 Shirley's Sandwiches! 37 00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,626 I just need one of you 38 00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,626 to sign this 39 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,336 as the official owner 40 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,336 of the business. 41 00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:47,296 Ooh, 42 00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:47,296 we should both sign it, 43 00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:47,296 we're 50-50 partners. 44 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,632 But there's 45 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,632 only one dotted line 46 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,632 on the form, so... 47 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,258 Oh, well, Pierce can... 48 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,258 Me. 49 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,468 Hey! 50 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,468 I paid for it. 51 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,803 Well, there'd be no "it" 52 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,803 to pay for 53 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:55,262 if I hadn't done 54 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:55,262 all the work. 55 00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:58,808 My goodness, this molehill 56 00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:58,808 is becoming a mountain. 57 00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:01,852 You guys work it out, 58 00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:01,852 while I put together 59 00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:01,852 an alpine costume. 60 00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:04,104 I knew eventually 61 00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:04,104 you'd try to box me out 62 00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:06,315 of my own business, 63 00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:06,315 just like 64 00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:06,315 Hawthorne Wipes did. 65 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,275 I'm not 66 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,275 letting you guilt me 67 00:01:08,317 --> 00:01:09,860 into letting you 68 00:01:08,317 --> 00:01:09,860 call yourself the owner 69 00:01:08,317 --> 00:01:09,860 of my company. 70 00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:12,571 Jeff! Hello? 71 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:14,782 Get involved. 72 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:14,782 No. 73 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,326 I am here to replace 74 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,326 my fake bachelor's 75 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,704 so I can get back 76 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,704 to my life as a lawyer. 77 00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:21,706 Nobody else is sacrificing 78 00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:21,706 their interests. 79 00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,123 Don't ask me to 80 00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,123 sacrifice mine. 81 00:01:23,165 --> 00:01:23,999 Don't ask me 82 00:01:23,165 --> 00:01:23,999 to sacrifice mine. 83 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:26,293 That's you just now. 84 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:31,881 Okay, so name 85 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:31,881 the stages of mitosis. 86 00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:33,217 Ooh, I gotta go. 87 00:01:33,258 --> 00:01:34,301 Unbelievable. 88 00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:36,220 Today is Abed's 89 00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:36,220 first therapy session. 90 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,888 His what? 91 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,888 He's been feeling 92 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,888 extra vulnerable lately 93 00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:41,350 having lost Troy 94 00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:41,350 to the air conditioning 95 00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:41,350 repair school, 96 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,770 so he's finally 97 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,770 gonna let me practice 98 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,770 my psych skills on him. 99 00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,146 Give me some credit, 100 00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,146 Winger. 101 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:47,565 What's the worst 102 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:47,565 that could happen? 103 00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:49,107 Classic tee-up. 104 00:01:49,149 --> 00:01:51,068 Shut up, Leonard, 105 00:01:49,149 --> 00:01:51,068 I know about 106 00:01:49,149 --> 00:01:51,068 your crooked wang. 107 00:01:51,109 --> 00:01:53,070 No such thing 108 00:01:51,109 --> 00:01:53,070 as bad press. 109 00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:59,326 Hey, Abed. 110 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:07,710 This can't be good. 111 00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:13,424 Tie me to dream 112 00:02:13,465 --> 00:02:16,761 to run out of steam 113 00:02:16,802 --> 00:02:20,222 it can be here 114 00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:24,184 tied up, dead in a year 115 00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:29,064 I should stay 116 00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:38,741 There are those who ask, 117 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,951 why connect 118 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,951 the capillary tube 119 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:43,788 directly to 120 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:43,788 the compressor valve? 121 00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:45,330 Oh, sure, 122 00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:45,330 why not just attach it 123 00:02:45,372 --> 00:02:46,791 to the moisture 124 00:02:45,372 --> 00:02:46,791 accumulator? 125 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,502 Hey, Troy. 126 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,502 We boring you? 127 00:02:50,544 --> 00:02:51,503 I miss my friends. 128 00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,088 He misses his friends. 129 00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,048 Aw. 130 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:58,636 Mr. Barnes, 131 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:58,636 gather your things 132 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:58,636 and come with me. 133 00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,389 Now! 134 00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:04,974 The Sun Chamber. 135 00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:04,974 A shameful relic 136 00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:07,144 from a savage chapter 137 00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:07,144 of our history. 138 00:03:07,185 --> 00:03:09,730 Repairmen would duel 139 00:03:07,185 --> 00:03:09,730 each other inside, 140 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,651 losers succumbing 141 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,651 to heat exhaustion, 142 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,651 or worse. 143 00:03:13,692 --> 00:03:16,111 Troy, there is a prophesy. 144 00:03:16,153 --> 00:03:17,529 I miss Abed so much. 145 00:03:17,571 --> 00:03:20,491 I'm ashamed to confess 146 00:03:17,571 --> 00:03:20,491 that I once thought 147 00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:23,786 that this might be me. 148 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,831 Now I realize 149 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,831 that it's you. 150 00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:28,998 You are 151 00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:28,998 the true repairman, Troy. 152 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,001 You fix not only 153 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,001 air conditioners, 154 00:03:32,043 --> 00:03:33,754 but the men 155 00:03:32,043 --> 00:03:33,754 who fix them. 156 00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:38,759 It's a trade school. 157 00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:38,759 It's a two-year degree 158 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,219 in boxes that 159 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,219 make rooms cold. 160 00:03:41,261 --> 00:03:43,848 Sir, there's been 161 00:03:41,261 --> 00:03:43,848 a flow duct rupture 162 00:03:41,261 --> 00:03:43,848 in quadrant four. 163 00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,056 I'll handle it. 164 00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:47,309 This is your destiny, 165 00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:47,309 Mr. Barnes. 166 00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:51,355 The true repairman 167 00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:51,355 will repair man. 168 00:03:56,777 --> 00:03:58,654 Abed. 169 00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,113 I'm not talking to you 170 00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,113 because I'm not crazy. 171 00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:01,782 Think of it 172 00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:01,782 as inner dialogue. 173 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,242 I'm reading the novelization 174 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,242 of Chronicles of Riddick. 175 00:04:04,284 --> 00:04:06,411 Can you honestly tell me 176 00:04:04,284 --> 00:04:06,411 that's a saner decision? 177 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,706 You're worried 178 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,706 you'll go crazy 179 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,706 without Troy. 180 00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,875 That's why you're gonna 181 00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,875 let Britta fix you, right? 182 00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:12,292 Because you think 183 00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:12,292 you're broken, 184 00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,669 you're gonna get diagnosed 185 00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,669 by someone who said 186 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,713 her favorite superhero 187 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,713 was X Man? 188 00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:18,256 I'm a little scared. 189 00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:18,256 Things are bad. 190 00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,383 When the world 191 00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,383 gets bad enough, Abed, 192 00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:21,635 the good go crazy. 193 00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:21,635 But the smart... 194 00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:24,722 They go bad. 195 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:28,183 Come on in here, 196 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:28,183 let's talk about it. 197 00:04:28,225 --> 00:04:29,768 I think it's safer 198 00:04:28,225 --> 00:04:29,768 if I talk to Britta. 199 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,228 I think it's even safer 200 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,228 if I talk to her first. 201 00:04:33,772 --> 00:04:35,482 Hello. 202 00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:37,401 Are you here to help me 203 00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:37,401 with biology, 204 00:04:37,442 --> 00:04:39,110 or get me to help you? 205 00:04:39,152 --> 00:04:41,906 Bi-ol-o-gy. 206 00:04:39,152 --> 00:04:41,906 Are you lying? 207 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,074 Hard to break the word "yes" 208 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,074 into lilting syllables, huh? 209 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:46,785 Ye-es? 210 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,537 Look, Pierce and I 211 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,537 are so close 212 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:49,621 to getting the sandwich 213 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:49,621 shop going. 214 00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:50,956 I just need you 215 00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:50,956 to help... 216 00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:50,956 Look. 217 00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:52,708 You want one piece 218 00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:52,708 of free advice? 219 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,084 Let Pierce cool down. 220 00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:55,878 You know how crazy 221 00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:55,878 and paranoid he can get. 222 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,923 A-ha! Crazy? 223 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,923 Paranoid? Impotent? 224 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,091 Cellular... 225 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,091 I knew you'd run 226 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,091 to Jeff, 227 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:03,093 and turn him 228 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:03,093 against me. 229 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:03,093 Mitosis. 230 00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:05,095 Guys, 231 00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:05,095 why are we yelling? 232 00:05:05,136 --> 00:05:06,889 You sign that paper, 233 00:05:05,136 --> 00:05:06,889 I'll sue. 234 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:10,809 Well, hold on. 235 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:10,809 This will be settled 236 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:10,809 in Greendale Court, 3:00 p.m. 237 00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,895 Obviously, Shirley 238 00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,895 has her counsel, 239 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,105 and I get to dress 240 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,105 like a judge. 241 00:05:15,146 --> 00:05:16,732 I was born 242 00:05:15,146 --> 00:05:16,732 in a courtroom, 243 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,609 sued it for 244 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,609 my own placenta, 245 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,609 and won. 246 00:05:19,735 --> 00:05:20,945 Now I'm calling 247 00:05:19,735 --> 00:05:20,945 my lawyer. 248 00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:26,116 My biology final 249 00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:26,116 is at 5:00. 250 00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:30,161 I'm available 251 00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:30,161 from 3:00 to 4:00. 252 00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:32,205 I'll see you in court. 253 00:05:32,247 --> 00:05:34,625 Hello, Abed? 254 00:05:32,247 --> 00:05:34,625 Ready to get therapized? 255 00:05:36,293 --> 00:05:37,419 Abed? 256 00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:47,136 Hello, Britta. 257 00:05:51,182 --> 00:05:52,601 Come in. 258 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,436 He's dead? 259 00:05:54,478 --> 00:05:55,938 What's going on? 260 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,065 Vice Dean Laybourne 261 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,065 was repairing 262 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,065 a flow duct rupture, 263 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,025 and he inhaled 264 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,025 a lethal dose of Freon. 265 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,868 May his breeze 266 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,868 join the wind. 267 00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:16,374 Okay, so mitosis 268 00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:16,374 is when cells divide... 269 00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:18,251 I wonder who Pierce 270 00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:18,251 is gonna get 271 00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:18,251 to represent him. 272 00:06:18,293 --> 00:06:20,504 I promise, 273 00:06:18,293 --> 00:06:20,504 whoever Pierce brings 274 00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:22,923 won't be prepared for me. 275 00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:22,923 That's the Winger guaran... 276 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,842 Is that the cold-blooded 277 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,842 former colleague 278 00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:26,217 that got you fired 279 00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:26,217 from your old law firm 280 00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:27,719 by ratting on you 281 00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:27,719 to the State Bar? 282 00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:29,680 Tee. 283 00:06:35,268 --> 00:06:36,854 So is this 284 00:06:35,268 --> 00:06:36,854 a conflict of interest? 285 00:06:36,895 --> 00:06:38,897 You know, 286 00:06:36,895 --> 00:06:38,897 Alan working at your 287 00:06:36,895 --> 00:06:38,897 former firm and all? 288 00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,941 Hey, Pierce just did you 289 00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,941 the biggest favor 290 00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,941 of your life. 291 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,360 He hired a guy 292 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,360 I've spent the last 293 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,360 two years fantasizing 294 00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,695 about stabbing 295 00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,695 in the... Sundance! 296 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:46,321 Tango! 297 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:46,321 Hey. 298 00:06:47,447 --> 00:06:50,617 So, the case 299 00:06:47,447 --> 00:06:50,617 of the Sandwich signature. 300 00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:51,660 What are you doing here? 301 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,953 I mean, me, 302 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,953 I have to, but you? 303 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,454 Hawthorne's a cash cow, 304 00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,041 and old a-con here 305 00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,041 is tugging at that teat. 306 00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:59,877 That's money. 307 00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:01,170 Money. 308 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,629 Please stop that. 309 00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:04,673 So, full disclosure. 310 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:10,220 The firm would really like 311 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:10,220 to keep vitamin P 312 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:10,220 in its medicine chest. 313 00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:12,430 Full disclosure. 314 00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:12,430 I really want to be 315 00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:12,430 done by 4:00. 316 00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,975 Oh, that's the Jeff 317 00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,975 wing basket 318 00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,975 I remember loving. 319 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,226 Hey, just go easy 320 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,226 on Shirley. 321 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:17,895 Scout's honor, 322 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:17,895 Sinead O'Connor. 323 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:21,481 Oy-yay, oy-yay, 324 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:21,481 the honorable 325 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:21,481 Craig Pelton presiding. 326 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:24,943 First off, 327 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:24,943 there's one decision 328 00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:27,112 I'll need 329 00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:27,112 your help making. 330 00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:29,614 Judging Amy 331 00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:29,614 or Judge Judy? 332 00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:31,950 You say your name 333 00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:31,950 is Evil Abed, 334 00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,870 which does not throw me, 335 00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,870 because I'm a therapist. 336 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,454 So let's talk 337 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,454 about evil. 338 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,294 You know what? 339 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,294 Maybe I should talk 340 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,294 to Good Abed instead. 341 00:07:43,336 --> 00:07:45,380 Where I come from, 342 00:07:43,336 --> 00:07:45,380 his name is Lame Abed. 343 00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:47,966 And you come from... 344 00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:47,966 The darkest timeline. 345 00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:49,634 You might call it 346 00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:49,634 the Britta of timelines, 347 00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,220 where everything 348 00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,220 is the worst. 349 00:07:51,261 --> 00:07:53,931 Jeff has one arm there. 350 00:07:51,261 --> 00:07:53,931 Annie shot Pierce. 351 00:07:51,261 --> 00:07:53,931 Troy can't speak... 352 00:07:53,972 --> 00:07:55,682 Ah! Now we're 353 00:07:53,972 --> 00:07:55,682 getting somewhere. 354 00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:58,435 I think Lame Abed 355 00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:58,435 sent you to talk 356 00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:00,979 because you're 357 00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:00,979 more equipped 358 00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:00,979 to deal with fear. 359 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,023 That's the lame way 360 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,023 of seeing it, yes. 361 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,067 Here's the truth. 362 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,693 I've crossed 363 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,693 into your dark timeline, 364 00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:07,778 and now I'm going 365 00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:07,778 to darken it. 366 00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:09,320 How? 367 00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:10,697 Tell me about 368 00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:10,697 your parents, Britta. 369 00:08:11,406 --> 00:08:14,076 Um... No? 370 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,205 Barnes, you should be 371 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,205 in the chapel. 372 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,873 We lost a great 373 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,873 man today. 374 00:08:19,915 --> 00:08:21,792 Yeah, he was the best, 375 00:08:19,915 --> 00:08:21,792 wasn't he? 376 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,043 That's why 377 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,043 I don't understand 378 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:26,046 how he could rupture 379 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:26,046 a Freon line. 380 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,256 That's kind of 381 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,256 a rookie mistake. 382 00:08:27,297 --> 00:08:29,216 I'm sure it was just 383 00:08:27,297 --> 00:08:29,216 a faulty valve. 384 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,675 My first order 385 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,675 as Vice Dean, 386 00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:31,927 I'm gonna have them 387 00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:31,927 all replaced. 388 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,553 So you're 389 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,553 Vice Dean now? 390 00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:35,430 Why the sudden interest 391 00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:35,430 in air conditioning repair? 392 00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:36,389 I thought you missed 393 00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:36,389 your friends. 394 00:08:36,431 --> 00:08:38,475 I do. 395 00:08:36,431 --> 00:08:38,475 Then go be with them. 396 00:08:38,516 --> 00:08:40,144 I'm releasing you. 397 00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:41,895 But you... 398 00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:41,895 Good-bye, Troy. 399 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:50,237 Miss Edison, 400 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:50,237 do you recognize 401 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:50,237 the baby in that picture? 402 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,239 That's Shirley's baby Ben. 403 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,450 Would you think less 404 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,450 of Shirley Bennett 405 00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:59,204 if she offered 406 00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:59,204 to sell Ben on Craigslist 407 00:08:59,246 --> 00:09:01,414 for a chance 408 00:08:59,246 --> 00:09:01,414 to bump it with Denzel? 409 00:09:01,456 --> 00:09:03,416 That was a joke 410 00:09:01,456 --> 00:09:03,416 for my cousin. 411 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:05,460 Damn those Facebook 412 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:05,460 privacy settings. 413 00:09:05,502 --> 00:09:06,920 Jeff, do something. 414 00:09:05,502 --> 00:09:06,920 He's got nothing. 415 00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:08,379 I'm sure she didn't 416 00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:08,379 mean that. 417 00:09:08,421 --> 00:09:12,592 Or perhaps she doesn't 418 00:09:08,421 --> 00:09:12,592 even love that baby, 419 00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:16,346 because she spent 420 00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:16,346 most of last year 421 00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:16,346 not even knowing 422 00:09:16,387 --> 00:09:18,307 who the father is. 423 00:09:16,387 --> 00:09:18,307 Objection. 424 00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:19,724 Establishing character, 425 00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:19,724 Your Honor. 426 00:09:19,766 --> 00:09:21,852 This woman is clearly unfit 427 00:09:19,766 --> 00:09:21,852 to own a sandwich shop. 428 00:09:21,893 --> 00:09:23,353 Alan, come on. 429 00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:24,980 No furths. 430 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,527 I thought you said 431 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,527 you were gonna go easy. 432 00:09:30,568 --> 00:09:32,029 Felt easy to me. 433 00:09:34,531 --> 00:09:35,615 What was he wearing? 434 00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:37,408 He was dressed 435 00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:37,408 as a dinosaur. 436 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,328 Is that why you dropped 437 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,328 out of high school? 438 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,328 I don't know. 439 00:09:39,369 --> 00:09:40,370 Are those even 440 00:09:39,369 --> 00:09:40,370 real glasses? 441 00:09:40,411 --> 00:09:41,579 No. 442 00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:43,832 Ah, do you 443 00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:43,832 feel that, Britta? 444 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,834 Your timeline's 445 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,834 10% darker now. 446 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,878 This was 10%? 447 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:49,754 Do you know what kind 448 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:49,754 of person becomes 449 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:49,754 a psychologist, Britta? 450 00:09:49,796 --> 00:09:51,298 A person that wishes, 451 00:09:49,796 --> 00:09:51,298 deep down, 452 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,133 that everyone more special 453 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,133 than them was sick, 454 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:56,094 because "healthy" 455 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:56,094 sounds so much more 456 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:56,094 exciting than "boring." 457 00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:57,762 You're average, 458 00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:57,762 Britta Perry. 459 00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,098 You're every kid 460 00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,098 on the playground 461 00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,098 that didn't get picked on. 462 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,893 You're a business 463 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,893 casual potted plant, 464 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,893 a human white sale. 465 00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,812 You're VH1, RoboCop 2, 466 00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,812 and Back to the Future III. 467 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,898 You're the center slice 468 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,898 of a square cheese pizza. 469 00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,191 Actually, that 470 00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,191 sounds delicious. 471 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,109 I'm the center slice 472 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,109 of a square cheese pizza. 473 00:10:11,151 --> 00:10:12,694 You're Jim Belushi. 474 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,656 Ah. 12%. 475 00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:20,493 Where are you going? 476 00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,453 To make this timeline 477 00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,453 the darkest of all. 478 00:10:22,495 --> 00:10:24,664 Starting with 479 00:10:22,495 --> 00:10:24,664 your lame hero, 480 00:10:22,495 --> 00:10:24,664 Jeff Winger. 481 00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:26,541 I don't suppose Lame Abed 482 00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:26,541 owns a bone saw. 483 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,062 So, Pierce, 484 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,062 you're seeking 485 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,062 full ownership 486 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,563 of Shirley's Sandwiches. 487 00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:51,733 After all, 488 00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:51,733 you did provide 100% 489 00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:51,733 of the financing. 490 00:10:51,775 --> 00:10:53,068 Correct. 491 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,071 You really did? 492 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,071 Oh, damn it. 493 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,822 Jeez, I came to 494 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,822 this thing unprepared. 495 00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:01,451 I mean, 496 00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:01,451 I... I guess it's my job 497 00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:01,451 to somehow tarnish you 498 00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:04,037 in the eyes 499 00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:04,037 of the court, but, uh... 500 00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:05,247 Let me check my notes. 501 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,539 Take your time. 502 00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:07,999 Thanks. 503 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,794 Hey, uh, while 504 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,794 I'm doing this... 505 00:11:10,835 --> 00:11:12,879 Does anybody know 506 00:11:10,835 --> 00:11:12,879 any funny jokes? 507 00:11:12,921 --> 00:11:14,381 I do. 508 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,968 An Irish and a Jew walk 509 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,968 into a Chinese laundry 510 00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:19,344 with a gay duck. 511 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,055 All right, okay! 512 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,055 Oh, right! 513 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,681 So you're telling me 514 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,681 they're not good 515 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,681 at basketball? 516 00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,058 I have no questions, 517 00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,058 Your Honor. 518 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,654 Mommy! 519 00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:38,989 Cruel. 520 00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:38,989 Cruel, cruel, cruel. 521 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:41,158 In the name 522 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:41,158 of the five winds... 523 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:44,161 East, west, north, 524 00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,371 the one we keep secret, 525 00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,371 and south, 526 00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:49,124 I hereby proclaim you... 527 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,583 This ceremony is a lie. 528 00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:51,960 And having 529 00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:51,960 a special room for it 530 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,586 is a waste 531 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,586 of valuable floor space. 532 00:11:53,628 --> 00:11:55,672 You are no longer 533 00:11:53,628 --> 00:11:55,672 a student here. 534 00:11:55,713 --> 00:11:58,591 And we use this room 535 00:11:55,713 --> 00:11:58,591 for yoga on weekends. 536 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,927 Remove him. 537 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,927 I am the truest repairman. 538 00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:03,180 The truest repairman. 539 00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,098 And this man 540 00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,098 is a dishonor 541 00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,557 to making air conditioners 542 00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,557 work good. 543 00:12:06,599 --> 00:12:07,642 And I have the right 544 00:12:06,599 --> 00:12:07,642 to challenge him... 545 00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:10,812 In the Sun Chamber. 546 00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:13,773 Holy crap. 547 00:12:13,815 --> 00:12:16,109 Your Less Than Honor, 548 00:12:13,815 --> 00:12:16,109 can I call a recess? 549 00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:18,028 Ooh, yay, 550 00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:18,028 costume change. 551 00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:19,528 Court briefly adjourned. 552 00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:22,324 What are you trying 553 00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:22,324 to do, Winger? 554 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,326 Zealously represent 555 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,326 your client? 556 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,578 Let me make things 557 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,578 a little easier for you. 558 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,456 Figure out a way 559 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,456 to throw this case, 560 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,375 or figure out 561 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,375 where you're gonna work 562 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:32,917 when you get out of here, 563 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:32,917 because I don't know 564 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,045 where it's gonna be 565 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,045 if it's not for us. 566 00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:37,588 That's right, Jeff. 567 00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:37,588 I went there. 568 00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:40,258 You drove me there. 569 00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:40,258 Miss Daisy's in the house, 570 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,135 thanks for the ride, 571 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,135 sorry about slavery. 572 00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:43,594 Don't oversell 573 00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:43,594 your clout, Alan. 574 00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:45,430 You're partner because 575 00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:45,430 I sold you to Ted. 576 00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:47,391 Ted respects me... 577 00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:47,391 Ted's gone. 578 00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:48,683 He got too old, 579 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:50,559 couldn't swim 580 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:50,559 with the sharks, 581 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:50,559 and got eaten. 582 00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:52,270 That makes no sense. 583 00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:52,270 He started the firm. 584 00:12:52,312 --> 00:12:53,980 You can't lose 585 00:12:52,312 --> 00:12:53,980 your own firm. 586 00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:56,816 You can if you're dead. 587 00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:56,816 That shark thing 588 00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:56,816 was not a metaphor. 589 00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:58,527 I'm the big dog now. 590 00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:01,238 So, you want 591 00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:01,238 the last three years 592 00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,781 in this toilet 593 00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,781 to have a point? 594 00:13:03,823 --> 00:13:05,867 Then I'm the guy 595 00:13:03,823 --> 00:13:05,867 you got to make happy. 596 00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,744 Or, you know, 597 00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,744 you could finish up 598 00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,744 your big win here. 599 00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:11,331 Court is in session. 600 00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:11,331 Blind justice presiding... 601 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:13,417 Aah! Oh, my God! 602 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:13,417 Ooh! 603 00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:16,878 Oh! 604 00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:16,878 Oh, one more recess. 605 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,381 I hit the corner 606 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,381 right on a fresh tattoo. 607 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,634 Well, boys and girls, 608 00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:26,804 I hope you brought 609 00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:26,804 your popsicles, 610 00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:31,435 because it's about 611 00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:31,435 to get scalding hot 612 00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:34,521 in the Sun Chamber. 613 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,315 You already 614 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,315 know the rules... 615 00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:41,111 Because there aren't any! 616 00:13:41,152 --> 00:13:43,654 Jeez, Dennis, 617 00:13:41,152 --> 00:13:43,654 are you on coke? 618 00:13:43,696 --> 00:13:45,449 Take that crap off 619 00:13:43,696 --> 00:13:45,449 and sit down. 620 00:13:47,784 --> 00:13:50,537 Sorry about that. 621 00:13:47,784 --> 00:13:50,537 Of course there are rules. 622 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,539 Two men are sealed 623 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,539 in the chamber, 624 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,082 each with 625 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,082 a broken unit. 626 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,461 The heat will increase 627 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,461 until one man yields 628 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,461 or dies. 629 00:13:57,502 --> 00:13:59,337 Begin! 630 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,560 You're just in time for 631 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,560 Jeff's closing statements. 632 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,812 Who cares? 633 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,812 Everything is terrible. 634 00:14:15,853 --> 00:14:18,106 Oh, no. Have you been 635 00:14:15,853 --> 00:14:18,106 watching Dance Moms again? 636 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,525 I'm thinking 637 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,525 of dyeing my hair. 638 00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:23,653 Evil Abed, 639 00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:23,653 what are you doing? 640 00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:24,988 I'm going to cut off 641 00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:24,988 Jeff Winger's arm. 642 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,072 I won't let you. 643 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,072 That's horrible. 644 00:14:26,114 --> 00:14:28,199 Don't you mean dark? 645 00:14:26,114 --> 00:14:28,199 Welcome to my world. 646 00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:37,917 Psst! Jeff! Winger! 647 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,842 Jeffrey, this is a... 648 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,842 a terrible situation for me 649 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,842 to have put you in. 650 00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,428 A guy like Alan isn't above 651 00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,428 making trouble for you 652 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,679 at your old firm. 653 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,679 Shirley, I... 654 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,681 It's not worth 655 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,681 your career. 656 00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:54,225 I want you to have 657 00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:54,225 what you want. 658 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,563 Thank you, Shirley. 659 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,563 Settle down. 660 00:14:58,605 --> 00:15:01,274 Okay, Jeffrey, let's have 661 00:14:58,605 --> 00:15:01,274 your closing statement. 662 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,016 Your Honor... 663 00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:37,310 I have no closing statement, 664 00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:37,310 because I'm throwing 665 00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:37,310 the case. 666 00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:39,270 No, no, it's okay. 667 00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:40,689 It's fine, 668 00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:40,689 don't worry. 669 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:42,649 My client, Shirley Bennett, 670 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:42,649 my friend of three years, 671 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,401 she told me 672 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,401 that it was okay. 673 00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:47,571 She said what I want 674 00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:47,571 was more important. 675 00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,241 She's right, right? 676 00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:53,577 I mean, guys like me, 677 00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,328 we'll tell you 678 00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,328 there's no right or wrong. 679 00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:57,247 There's no real truth. 680 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:01,125 I'll kill you. 681 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:01,125 I'll kill you 682 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:01,125 just like I killed him. 683 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:04,879 And as long as 684 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:04,879 we all believe that, 685 00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:07,257 guys like me 686 00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:07,257 can never lose. 687 00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:09,092 Was that out loud? 688 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:11,928 Because the truth is... 689 00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:14,805 I'm lying when I say 690 00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:14,805 there is no truth. 691 00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:18,851 The truth is... 692 00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:18,851 The pathetically, stupidly, 693 00:16:18,893 --> 00:16:22,564 inconveniently obvious 694 00:16:18,893 --> 00:16:22,564 truth is... 695 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,108 Helping only 696 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,108 ourselves is bad, 697 00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:27,110 and helping 698 00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:27,110 each other is good. 699 00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:30,697 Now I just wanted 700 00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:30,697 to get out of here, 701 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,616 pass biology, 702 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,616 and be a lawyer again 703 00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:33,866 instead of 704 00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:33,866 helping Shirley. 705 00:16:33,908 --> 00:16:35,201 That was bad. 706 00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,745 And my former colleague 707 00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:40,624 wanted so badly 708 00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:40,624 to keep his rich client 709 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,500 that he just asked me 710 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,500 to roll over 711 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:44,085 in exchange 712 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:44,085 for my old job. 713 00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:49,215 So I guess we all walked 714 00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:49,215 in here pretty bad. 715 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:50,800 But now... 716 00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:54,887 Shirley's gone good. 717 00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:54,887 Shirley's helping me. 718 00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:56,347 It's that easy. 719 00:16:56,389 --> 00:16:59,601 You just stop thinking 720 00:16:56,389 --> 00:16:59,601 about what's good for you, 721 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,687 and start thinking 722 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,687 about what's good 723 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,687 for someone else. 724 00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:15,700 And you can change 725 00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:15,700 the whole game 726 00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:15,700 with one move. 727 00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:24,793 Now if you like this idea, 728 00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:24,793 you can make it true 729 00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:28,379 by doing something good 730 00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:28,379 for everyone here. 731 00:17:28,421 --> 00:17:31,424 Throw this case 732 00:17:28,421 --> 00:17:31,424 out of court. 733 00:17:28,421 --> 00:17:31,424 It's dumb. 734 00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:33,176 That is all. 735 00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:36,053 I withdraw my case. 736 00:17:36,095 --> 00:17:37,681 Why didn't you 737 00:17:36,095 --> 00:17:37,681 just do some 738 00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,432 inspirational speech 739 00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,432 about friendship? 740 00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:40,975 You're fired. 741 00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:50,401 Way to go, soft serve. 742 00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:50,401 You're finished. 743 00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,070 By the way, 744 00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,070 never got a chance 745 00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,070 to tell you this, 746 00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:54,864 but it was me 747 00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:54,864 who turned you in 748 00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:54,864 to the State Bar. 749 00:17:55,406 --> 00:17:56,825 I know. 750 00:17:57,908 --> 00:17:59,869 And I never got 751 00:17:57,908 --> 00:17:59,869 a chance to thank you. 752 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:01,871 This place 753 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:01,871 has made you so gay. 754 00:18:01,912 --> 00:18:05,249 Hey! Don't use "gay" 755 00:18:01,912 --> 00:18:05,249 as a derogatory term. 756 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:06,417 Booyah, good person. 757 00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:12,882 Gentlemen, take this man 758 00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:12,882 to the infinite labyrinth 759 00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:12,882 of eternal ice. 760 00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:14,718 Yes! 761 00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:14,718 No! 762 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:18,471 No, take him 763 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:18,471 to the police. 764 00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:21,015 He murdered someone. 765 00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:21,015 Take him to jail. 766 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,143 You guys are weird. 767 00:18:24,185 --> 00:18:25,478 Jeff, that was great. 768 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,522 You were like 769 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,522 a white Blair Underwood. 770 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,732 Shirley, if you're willing, 771 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,732 I think we should let 772 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,233 Jeff sign 773 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,233 the sandwich shop form. 774 00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:31,442 Yeah, you could 775 00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:31,442 represent both of us. 776 00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:32,777 You know, 777 00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:32,777 like our attorney. 778 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:35,739 My God, Pierce! 779 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:35,739 You had your 780 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:35,739 first good idea. 781 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,491 Thank you. 782 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,491 Britta, I'm so sorry. 783 00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,950 It doesn't matter, 784 00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,950 Abed. 785 00:18:39,992 --> 00:18:41,870 I should've never 786 00:18:39,992 --> 00:18:41,870 played therapist 787 00:18:39,992 --> 00:18:41,870 with you. 788 00:18:41,911 --> 00:18:43,705 I'll change my major 789 00:18:41,911 --> 00:18:43,705 just one more time. 790 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,623 But you can't. 791 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,623 You cured me. 792 00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:47,625 I mean, I'm not cured. 793 00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:47,625 I'm willing to admit 794 00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:47,625 I definitely need therapy. 795 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,460 You're the only 796 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,460 kind of shrink 797 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,460 I could ever trust. 798 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,337 The kind 799 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,337 with as little control 800 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,337 over my mind as me. 801 00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:55,341 Mind if I cut in? 802 00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:56,926 Troy! 803 00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:00,889 You're back. 804 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:03,725 Yeah, I made a new rule 805 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:03,725 that the air conditioning 806 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:03,725 repair school 807 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,476 has to act like 808 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,476 a regular school. 809 00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,186 I can do that 810 00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,186 because I'm their messiah. 811 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:09,564 Cool. I went crazy 812 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:09,564 and I wanted to 813 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:09,564 cut off Jeff's arm. 814 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,482 I missed you 815 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,482 so much, buddy. 816 00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:17,864 So, Jeff, 817 00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:17,864 we still best friends? 818 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:24,788 All right. 819 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:29,083 Cellular mitosis. 820 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:29,083 What is it? 821 00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:32,211 Tie me to dream 822 00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:35,590 to run out of steam 823 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:39,051 it can be here 824 00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:42,931 tied up, dead in a year 825 00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:47,143 than words can say 826 00:19:49,395 --> 00:19:53,983 I should stay 827 00:19:56,068 --> 00:20:00,490 just fade away 828 00:20:01,991 --> 00:20:05,161 of the wait and sees 829 00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:07,497 part of me 830 00:20:08,706 --> 00:20:11,000 a perfect lie 831 00:20:15,296 --> 00:20:18,299 into days 832 00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:20,844 what you throw away 833 00:20:21,886 --> 00:20:24,388 to recognize 834 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,487 Hello, everybody. 835 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,487 I'm Leonard. 836 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:44,617 I'm here today to review 837 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:44,617 Let's Potato Chips. 838 00:20:44,659 --> 00:20:46,285 $1.79 at Kroger's. 839 00:20:47,286 --> 00:20:48,997 Ah. 840 00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:50,623 Get this sucker open... 841 00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:52,375 Ah, there we are. 842 00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:55,336 Now, I've already had 843 00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:55,336 some of these, 844 00:20:55,378 --> 00:20:57,046 but let's see. 845 00:20:58,088 --> 00:21:01,050 Mmm! Crispy. Mmm-hmm. 846 00:21:01,091 --> 00:21:02,635 Salty, not too greasy. 847 00:21:04,094 --> 00:21:07,056 That one's 848 00:21:04,094 --> 00:21:07,056 shaped like a duck. 849 00:21:07,097 --> 00:21:10,142 Well, I guess 850 00:21:07,097 --> 00:21:10,142 that's definitely a buy. 851 00:21:10,184 --> 00:21:12,144 That's it. 852 00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:15,648 Let's Potato Chips are good, 853 00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:15,648 and they're a buy.