1
00:00:01,650 --> 00:00:03,812
Troy and Abed back from summer.

2
00:00:07,167 --> 00:00:08,984
Wait a minute.
Something's changed.

3
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:10,863
Oh, there's 12 additional
thumb tacks on that board.

4
00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:11,875
They're driving me crazy.

5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,953
No, I meant this.
Trying out the hipster look.

6
00:00:16,129 --> 00:00:18,331
It's cool, but also not.

7
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:20,921
Hey, guys, have a good summer?

8
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:22,654
Take them off.

9
00:00:24,038 --> 00:00:26,267
Happy first day of school.

10
00:00:26,538 --> 00:00:27,839
Oh.

11
00:00:27,852 --> 00:00:30,330
Good morning.
I brought brownies.

12
00:00:30,521 --> 00:00:32,958
Oh.

13
00:00:33,345 --> 00:00:37,023
Congratulations, it's me.

14
00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:41,239
Huh, I see we've all reinvented
ourselves over the summer.

15
00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:43,122
A little late
to the hipster party much?

16
00:00:43,142 --> 00:00:45,060
A little much on the much much?

17
00:00:46,423 --> 00:00:48,540
We should get to class?
Where's Pierce?

18
00:00:48,571 --> 00:00:50,406
- I don't know.
- Hey-o!

19
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,621
Sorry, I'm late.

20
00:00:53,652 --> 00:00:55,994
Damn Mexican cleaning woman
did a cha-cha

21
00:00:56,013 --> 00:00:58,778
on my glasses,
so I got to wear this old pair.

22
00:01:01,957 --> 00:01:04,676
Abed.
Abed.

23
00:01:04,707 --> 00:01:06,880
- Abed.
- Yup.

24
00:01:06,911 --> 00:01:07,980
Did you go to your happy place?

25
00:01:08,012 --> 00:01:09,045
- Yeah.
- Did you envision

26
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,090
a babbling brook
like I described?

27
00:01:11,108 --> 00:01:12,274
I started out
with a babbling brook,

28
00:01:12,303 --> 00:01:13,924
but then I layered in elements
from our world.

29
00:01:13,955 --> 00:01:15,689
I'm sure fans of the babbling
brook will complain,

30
00:01:15,706 --> 00:01:16,952
but I thought
that was limiting.

31
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:18,387
Well, it's best
to keep it simple.

32
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,943
- It was a babbling brook.
- Okay.

33
00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:21,640
Here's the deal, Jessica Biel.

34
00:01:21,668 --> 00:01:24,786
The first day of senior year
is emotional for everyone,

35
00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:26,999
so I hereby therapize you to go

36
00:01:27,012 --> 00:01:30,037
to your happy place
whenever you feel stressed.

37
00:01:30,213 --> 00:01:33,515
- I found my lucky notebook.
- Found my lucky charm.

38
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:37,147
Abed, you ready for our last
first day of school?

39
00:01:37,609 --> 00:01:39,327
Are you ready, buddy?

40
00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:42,736
I just need a minute.

41
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,431
Abed's Happy Community College
show is filmed

42
00:02:10,462 --> 00:02:12,913
before a live audience
inside of my head.

43
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,222
I can't believe we're finally
getting into this class.

44
00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:21,013
I can't believe there's a class called
"The History of Ice Cream."

45
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:23,390
Seniors!

46
00:02:24,095 --> 00:02:26,130
There they are.

47
00:02:29,303 --> 00:02:31,270
- Seniors!
- Oh, speaking of seniors,

48
00:02:31,296 --> 00:02:33,651
I've decided I'm going
to do senioritis this year.

49
00:02:33,677 --> 00:02:36,641
You know, just hangin' out
and blowin' off classes,

50
00:02:36,669 --> 00:02:39,289
pullin' pranks,
not sayin' my "G" s.

51
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,754
Ooh, I'll pull
some pranks with you.

52
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:44,105
Okay.
Or Jeff or whoever.

53
00:02:44,136 --> 00:02:45,436
You know, whoever's around.
Whatever.

54
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,094
So, Abed, after class,
we're still doing

55
00:02:47,115 --> 00:02:49,034
our first-day-of-school tradition, right?
- You know it.

56
00:02:49,065 --> 00:02:50,365
We like to make wishes
in the fountain.

57
00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:52,220
- Ohh!
- Fellas, I hate to tell you,

58
00:02:52,251 --> 00:02:53,672
wishes aren't real.

59
00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:56,427
If you want something bad,
you have to work for it.

60
00:02:56,723 --> 00:02:57,723
Or use a spell.

61
00:02:57,748 --> 00:02:59,003
All of our wishes come true.

62
00:02:59,034 --> 00:03:01,819
Last year, Troy wished we got
Bin Laden and the Dorito Taco.

63
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:03,628
Yeah, but Obama got credit
for both.

64
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,760
Could you wish for Jeff
to be on time for once?

65
00:03:05,803 --> 00:03:08,131
No. No wasting wishes
on impossibilities.

66
00:03:08,342 --> 00:03:09,748
We have to make
this year count,

67
00:03:09,769 --> 00:03:11,070
especially
since it's the last one.

68
00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:16,240
Oh, no, is all this
for "The History of Ice Cream"?

69
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,590
They overbooked it, so it's
first come, first serve now.

70
00:03:18,621 --> 00:03:20,050
Oh, just like real ice cream.

71
00:03:20,071 --> 00:03:22,934
- Guys, over here!
- Oh, Jeffrey.

72
00:03:27,196 --> 00:03:29,098
Jeff, I can't believe
that you came early.

73
00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:30,500
Don't you read
Gary's twitter feed?

74
00:03:30,525 --> 00:03:32,209
He posted a crisis alert
about it.

75
00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:33,612
I came early to save seats.

76
00:03:33,676 --> 00:03:36,812
Oh, you know what, girls,
I gave you the old flyer.

77
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,365
"Instagram for besties"
is in room 44.

78
00:03:39,902 --> 00:03:42,437
Showing up early,
helping others,

79
00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:44,047
sending girls away?

80
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,265
Could this be
a whole new Jeff Winger?

81
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,087
Don't ruin it by approving it.

82
00:03:52,539 --> 00:03:54,407
Oh, so that's progressed.

83
00:03:54,452 --> 00:03:55,956
I mean, it's progressed,

84
00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:57,886
but it hasn't
progressed-progressed.

85
00:03:57,919 --> 00:03:58,950
It's progressive.

86
00:03:58,979 --> 00:04:01,013
- Good luck, Troy.
- Hey!

87
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,952
You can't just walk in here!

88
00:04:02,997 --> 00:04:05,134
I've been pissing in jars
for an hour

89
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:06,515
trying to keep this seat.

90
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:07,950
- Oh.
- Too bad, Leonard.

91
00:04:07,988 --> 00:04:09,805
All right, all right.

92
00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:12,172
All right.
Simmer Dean.

93
00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:14,304
This can't be good.
He's dressed as himself.

94
00:04:14,329 --> 00:04:17,723
Apparently Greendale's registration
system has been hacked.

95
00:04:17,821 --> 00:04:20,071
That's right.
Someone hacked

96
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,153
into the supply closet
and counterfeited

97
00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:24,475
these "History of Ice Cream"
admission cards.

98
00:04:25,337 --> 00:04:28,033
Whoever did this is very good.

99
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,776
There is only one fair way
to solve this.

100
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:35,158
So follow me to...

101
00:04:57,763 --> 00:05:01,088
The Hunger Deans!

102
00:05:01,269 --> 00:05:02,853
Thank you.
Thank you.

103
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,136
There are 35 tests of strength

104
00:05:05,162 --> 00:05:06,161
and agility.

105
00:05:06,192 --> 00:05:08,812
The winner of each one
of these contests

106
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:11,363
will be awarded
a red rubber ball.

107
00:05:11,381 --> 00:05:13,477
No ball, no ice cream.

108
00:05:13,524 --> 00:05:15,968
And these are impossible
to counterfeit

109
00:05:16,003 --> 00:05:20,365
because each one has been marked
by my distinct bite print.

110
00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:22,466
- Oh, lord, no.
- Yes.

111
00:05:22,509 --> 00:05:24,103
Guys, we need
to take this class.

112
00:05:24,141 --> 00:05:26,009
It's the only History credit
this semester.

113
00:05:26,029 --> 00:05:28,364
Whatevs.
We'll take it next semes.

114
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:29,952
Ter.
Semester.

115
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,765
But I need it now.

116
00:05:31,847 --> 00:05:34,784
Okay, I took
some extra classes online,

117
00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:36,697
and I'm one history credit away
from graduating.

118
00:05:37,597 --> 00:05:39,434
Jeff, you're graduating early?

119
00:05:39,477 --> 00:05:42,307
Well, graduating after 30
can't be characterized as early.

120
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,812
- When were you gonna tell us, Jeff?
- I was working on a speech.

121
00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:47,496
And, believe me, it tied in
a lot of things.

122
00:05:47,523 --> 00:05:50,012
There was a lot of resolutions
and epiphanies.

123
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,818
And it would have gone down
a lot better

124
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:54,259
after we had taken
the ice cream class together.

125
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,751
So that's why you were holding
our seats?

126
00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:57,185
For your own selfish reasons?

127
00:05:57,219 --> 00:05:59,253
No, I want us
to take the class together.

128
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,492
I just want it to be
the last class we take together.

129
00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:03,276
I probably should have phrased

130
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,019
- that differently.
- Fine. Win your red ball.

131
00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:07,642
What do I care?
I've got a senior prank to pull.

132
00:06:07,663 --> 00:06:08,826
- Shirley.
- Mm-hmm.

133
00:06:08,854 --> 00:06:10,354
So, Abed, ready
to make some wishes?

134
00:06:10,374 --> 00:06:12,650
Make chocolate hot dogs
a reality?

135
00:06:12,674 --> 00:06:13,840
Actually, why don't you go
with Britta?

136
00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:15,202
I think I'll just hang out here
and watch.

137
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:16,553
Really?
Are you sure?

138
00:06:16,603 --> 00:06:19,572
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- F-I-n-e or f-y-n-e?

139
00:06:19,899 --> 00:06:21,600
We made one of 'em a code
for "not fine."

140
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:24,532
- Oh.
- F-y-n-e.

141
00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:26,363
Okay, he's fine.
Let's go.

142
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,438
- See you around, old Jeff.
- No.

143
00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:31,317
New Jeff. New Jeff does not
just look out for himself.

144
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,326
New Jeff is gonna win
seven red balls

145
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,148
because he is not gonna take
that class

146
00:06:35,173 --> 00:06:36,854
unless you guys are with me.

147
00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:39,833
Look, we're gonna have
to leave this place sometime.

148
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,888
Like an ice cream cone melting

149
00:06:41,912 --> 00:06:45,315
in the sun, our time here
can't last forever.

150
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:47,754
That was part of the speech
I was writing!

151
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,327
Hey, guys.
What's going on?

152
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,440
Oh, just making plans
for the future.

153
00:06:53,477 --> 00:06:56,021
Can't stay
at Greendale forever.

154
00:06:56,058 --> 00:06:57,526
Hey, is mine different
than yours?

155
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,885
Look out below.

156
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,461
Coming in for a land-Dean.

157
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:07,747
Amelia Earhart?

158
00:07:07,769 --> 00:07:10,387
Close.
I am America's sexiest aviator,

159
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:12,391
Leo DiCaprio.

160
00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:15,432
And, just as his character
lost his mind,

161
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,538
so have I lost
your student records.

162
00:07:19,304 --> 00:07:21,134
What?
I can't believe it.

163
00:07:21,164 --> 00:07:23,962
Yeah, Amelia Earhart
would have been faster.

164
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:27,086
As you know,
our student records are stored

165
00:07:27,118 --> 00:07:30,222
on a Microsoft Paint file,
which I was assured

166
00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:31,996
was future-proof.

167
00:07:33,159 --> 00:07:35,103
Meanwhile,
our extended warranty

168
00:07:35,107 --> 00:07:37,939
is not being honored by the restaurant
that used to be Circuit City.

169
00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:41,912
But I think the fairest way
to handle this

170
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,103
is to have everyone repeat
the last three years.

171
00:07:45,447 --> 00:07:46,768
You can't be serious.

172
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,935
In-Dean, I am.

173
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:52,156
I'm gonna be here forever.

174
00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:55,947
Forever.
Forever. Forever.

175
00:07:56,566 --> 00:07:58,923
I'm gonna stay in here forever.

176
00:08:03,604 --> 00:08:06,726
Gentlemen... and ladies.

177
00:08:06,978 --> 00:08:08,428
My first red ball

178
00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:10,267
is way up high.

179
00:08:10,298 --> 00:08:12,115
To touch my ball,

180
00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:14,499
first touch the sky.

181
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,054
Go!

182
00:08:17,286 --> 00:08:18,355
Give it up, Leonard.

183
00:08:18,386 --> 00:08:21,415
I'm gonna eat
your ice cream, Winger.

184
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:24,326
Agh!
You? You're pre-med!

185
00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:25,804
- I want ice cream.
- Yeah, well, I want

186
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:27,674
to graduate with dignity.

187
00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:29,164
Not cool!

188
00:08:32,343 --> 00:08:34,294
Jeff's really going
after that ball.

189
00:08:34,563 --> 00:08:37,055
There's got to be a joke
in there somewhere.

190
00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:38,537
That's my first ball.

191
00:08:38,594 --> 00:08:40,294
New Jeff!

192
00:08:41,264 --> 00:08:43,220
Give me a minute.
Give me a minute.

193
00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:47,203
No.

194
00:08:48,776 --> 00:08:50,940
You know, if we're doing the
first three years over again,

195
00:08:50,958 --> 00:08:52,228
I could change majors.

196
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:54,674
I've always been curious
about Forensics.

197
00:08:54,771 --> 00:08:56,596
Hey, did you know
you could major in Antics?

198
00:08:56,632 --> 00:08:58,351
I checked.
You need a tomfoolery pre-req,

199
00:08:58,382 --> 00:08:59,932
but they waive it for women.

200
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,310
This is lunacy.

201
00:09:02,348 --> 00:09:04,076
We are not gonna start over
as freshmen.

202
00:09:04,101 --> 00:09:06,052
Hey, there's
a freshman mixer tonight.

203
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,208
Are you guys freshmen?

204
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:09,561
We can be.

205
00:09:22,109 --> 00:09:23,978
This prank is amazing.

206
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:26,414
He's gonna come in here later
and have the creepy feeling

207
00:09:26,438 --> 00:09:28,260
someone was in here.

208
00:09:28,339 --> 00:09:29,551
We should go
before we get caught.

209
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,401
Well, aren't we gonna do
something now that we're here?

210
00:09:31,424 --> 00:09:33,125
Do something?

211
00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:35,263
All right.

212
00:09:35,332 --> 00:09:37,867
A prank on a prank.

213
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:40,828
Let's move everything
on his desk over an inch

214
00:09:40,853 --> 00:09:42,216
except his stapler.

215
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,840
Then he'll think
we moved his stapler.

216
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:45,472
Oh, my God, there's
so many levels to this.

217
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,638
How about we fill his car
with popcorn?

218
00:09:47,658 --> 00:09:49,348
That sounds messy.

219
00:09:49,596 --> 00:09:52,774
That sounds messy!

220
00:09:52,812 --> 00:09:55,631
Okay, keys.
Keys.

221
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,996
Okay, I'm the Dean.

222
00:09:58,416 --> 00:09:59,499
I come into my office,

223
00:09:59,543 --> 00:10:00,572
turn on the light.

224
00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:03,855
"Oh, my, did my stapler
grow legs and move?"

225
00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:07,096
Then come over here for coffee.

226
00:10:07,188 --> 00:10:10,642
I would hide my keys

227
00:10:10,672 --> 00:10:15,404
in...
Huh.

228
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,116
Oh.

229
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,240
- Heels.
- Oh, you got skills.

230
00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:24,862
Oh.

231
00:10:24,975 --> 00:10:27,275
- Look who got his ball.
- Not my ball.

232
00:10:27,306 --> 00:10:28,125
Your ball.

233
00:10:28,151 --> 00:10:29,413
I just wanted you guys
to see it.

234
00:10:29,431 --> 00:10:31,783
- New Jeff.
- Jeffrey, is that blood on your shirt?

235
00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:33,054
Oh, no, it's cool.
It's Leonard's.

236
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,666
Oh.
Oh.

237
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,458
Two balls!

238
00:10:38,324 --> 00:10:42,059
This is gonna be so good
when I finally get it.

239
00:10:44,507 --> 00:10:46,385
It's a little weird
doing this without Abed.

240
00:10:46,472 --> 00:10:48,028
Come on.
It'll be fun.

241
00:10:48,053 --> 00:10:50,156
I'll put my...
my Britta twist on it.

242
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:54,576
I got skills.
I got skills.

243
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:56,537
- Sorry.
- Let's get this started.

244
00:10:56,562 --> 00:10:57,812
We always do
the first one together.

245
00:10:57,839 --> 00:10:59,593
One, two, three.

246
00:10:59,631 --> 00:11:01,391
- I wish for a great school year.
- I wish for 1,000 wishes.

247
00:11:01,422 --> 00:11:03,060
Great school year?

248
00:11:03,185 --> 00:11:04,929
The first wish
is always for 1,000 wishes.

249
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:06,250
But we have all these coins.

250
00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:08,258
Yeah, but the coins
aren't the wishes.

251
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,801
Oh, I didn't know that.

252
00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:13,827
I wish for Britta to have 499
of my remaining wishes.

253
00:11:13,853 --> 00:11:15,437
Thank you.

254
00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:17,288
I wish to end all wars.

255
00:11:17,314 --> 00:11:18,362
That's another rule.

256
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,287
No wishes
containing the word "all."

257
00:11:20,369 --> 00:11:21,969
Guaranteed ironic consequences.

258
00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:23,912
I don't think
anyone's gonna miss wars.

259
00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:25,757
Uhm, Star Wars, Thumb Wars,

260
00:11:25,781 --> 00:11:27,782
wow, Storage Wars!

261
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,422
Fine.

262
00:11:29,704 --> 00:11:30,899
You can't get in the fountain.

263
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,791
- I'm taking that penny back.
- I already told you,

264
00:11:32,829 --> 00:11:33,939
the pennies aren't wishes.

265
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,384
You can't flip a wish.

266
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:37,886
- That's ridiculous.
- Your rules are ridiculous.

267
00:11:37,911 --> 00:11:39,598
They're Abed's rules.

268
00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:41,497
And they're awesome,
and they always work.

269
00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,127
Well, Abed's not here, so...

270
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:45,660
Unwish!

271
00:11:45,691 --> 00:11:47,663
- You can't do that.
- I just did.

272
00:11:47,798 --> 00:11:49,421
- Unwish!
- No! Rewish.

273
00:11:49,446 --> 00:11:51,896
- Ununwish.
- Give me it! Unwish!

274
00:11:51,936 --> 00:11:53,687
No!

275
00:11:53,753 --> 00:11:55,370
No!
Oh, I'm sorry.

276
00:11:55,408 --> 00:11:56,876
What... you're helping me!

277
00:11:56,902 --> 00:11:58,959
You're helping.
I like it.

278
00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:01,223
- Unwish! Unwish!
- Oh, God!

279
00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:02,761
Why does this feel good?

280
00:12:03,092 --> 00:12:05,161
Stupid, selfish Jeff

281
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,593
coming here,
ruining our senior year.

282
00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:09,804
Ah, great!
My "G" s are back.

283
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:11,487
Yes, it's crummy
that Jeff is leaving early,

284
00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:13,220
but we're all graduating
eventually.

285
00:12:13,239 --> 00:12:14,428
But why the rush?

286
00:12:14,452 --> 00:12:17,254
What, so Jeff can run off
and be a gross lawyer again?

287
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,970
Troy and Abed
start drinking coffee?

288
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,556
I become
a boring hospital administrator?

289
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,856
- Who wants to do that?
- You do. Right?

290
00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:26,305
Yay, hospital administration!

291
00:12:26,356 --> 00:12:28,024
Can't wait to be buried alive

292
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,005
under a pile of paperwork
and bed pans,

293
00:12:30,024 --> 00:12:32,592
just trying to summon the
courage to ask out Dr. Patel,

294
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:35,561
the gorgeous Indian neurosurgeon
who doesn't even know I exist.

295
00:12:35,587 --> 00:12:37,198
This isn't a conversation,
is it?

296
00:12:37,211 --> 00:12:40,601
Whoo-hoo! The sad, slow march
toward death begins.

297
00:12:43,143 --> 00:12:44,732
Senioritis!

298
00:12:44,771 --> 00:12:47,473
Ready, set...

299
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,223
Third ball.

300
00:13:00,632 --> 00:13:02,297
Fourth ball.

301
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,841
Well, well, well.

302
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,999
Looks like someone wants
to be a hero.

303
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,030
A big man.
A huge, throbbing, sweaty...

304
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:20,532
Dean, I just want to get my history
credit and get out of here.

305
00:13:20,557 --> 00:13:22,751
And I just need to know
how bad you want it.

306
00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:25,127
The next competition
will be particularly difficult

307
00:13:25,146 --> 00:13:27,581
for some of you
because... It requires

308
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,545
complete emotional commitment.

309
00:13:29,631 --> 00:13:31,126
The Tango.

310
00:13:31,171 --> 00:13:32,268
I will be the judge.

311
00:13:32,305 --> 00:13:33,421
There can only be one winner,

312
00:13:33,442 --> 00:13:35,036
so choose your partners wisely.

313
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,273
Come on, Winger.

314
00:13:36,306 --> 00:13:37,589
It's water
under the bridge, right?

315
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,857
- Partners?
- Sorry.

316
00:13:38,882 --> 00:13:40,099
My dance card's full.

317
00:13:40,169 --> 00:13:43,511
For my partner
in the Tango competition,

318
00:13:43,928 --> 00:13:45,545
I choose...

319
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:46,871
The Dean.

320
00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:49,946
The fountain works.

321
00:13:57,877 --> 00:13:59,261
All these balls.

322
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:02,340
I'm so close, I can taste it.

323
00:14:06,663 --> 00:14:09,299
Pierce, only you could turn
a freshman mixer

324
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,556
into a disaster.

325
00:14:10,557 --> 00:14:12,938
I was this close
to getting those two girls.

326
00:14:12,971 --> 00:14:15,174
Jeff, look how close you're
holding your fingers together.

327
00:14:15,228 --> 00:14:16,779
That's your penis.

328
00:14:18,104 --> 00:14:19,720
Guys, great news.

329
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,443
After just one Forensics class,

330
00:14:21,451 --> 00:14:23,702
I found a way
to retrieve our student records.

331
00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:25,299
It turns out there's a backup.

332
00:14:25,325 --> 00:14:26,492
And it's in this safe.

333
00:14:33,613 --> 00:14:34,813
I have a theory, Dean.

334
00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:36,237
Do tell.

335
00:14:36,299 --> 00:14:38,387
I don't think
you want me to graduate.

336
00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,614
Don't be absurd, Jeffrey.

337
00:14:40,703 --> 00:14:43,107
I want success
for all Greendale students.

338
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,193
Oh, really?
Then answer me this.

339
00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:47,426
What happened
to the other History class?

340
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:50,046
What other History class?

341
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,752
The second History class,

342
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,533
the one
that actually taught History,

343
00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:55,577
that disappeared
from the schedule

344
00:14:55,599 --> 00:14:57,417
after I took summer classes.

345
00:14:57,443 --> 00:14:59,461
Oh, you're telling yourself
a fantasy.

346
00:14:59,493 --> 00:15:02,155
Who really made those
counterfeited ice cream tickets?

347
00:15:02,183 --> 00:15:04,682
Who's so good
that they got your handwriting

348
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,843
with its hearts and flourishes?

349
00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:08,619
Oh, God, you're right.

350
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,131
I can't let you go, Jeffrey.

351
00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,515
You weren't supposed
to compete.

352
00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:13,898
You were supposed to walk away
with the rest of the study group.

353
00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:16,580
You can't not get rid of me
that easily.

354
00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:19,987
Oh, God, why'd I make it
feats of strength and grace?

355
00:15:20,043 --> 00:15:23,515
It's as if I wanted you to win.

356
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:26,468
But that can't be true.

357
00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:29,844
Smile.

358
00:15:29,884 --> 00:15:31,261
Best friends!

359
00:15:37,861 --> 00:15:40,448
Let's hug it out.
Okay.

360
00:15:41,226 --> 00:15:43,666
Here.
One more ball to go.

361
00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:46,609
But it's another dance contest,
so I think I got it.

362
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:49,130
What's wrong with Abed?

363
00:15:54,429 --> 00:15:55,885
No, no, no, no,
don't open the safe.

364
00:15:55,926 --> 00:15:57,193
We're redoing
our first three years.

365
00:15:57,226 --> 00:15:59,269
- That's what I want.
- It's okay, Abed.

366
00:15:59,307 --> 00:16:01,792
Here's a trick I use
when I feel overwhelmed.

367
00:16:01,851 --> 00:16:03,871
Just imagine a happy place

368
00:16:03,902 --> 00:16:05,882
and then go there.

369
00:16:21,329 --> 00:16:24,531
Greendale babies
will be right back forever!

370
00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:31,218
Pierce, what did you do
to Abed?

371
00:16:31,842 --> 00:16:33,079
Gay balls!

372
00:16:33,106 --> 00:16:34,750
Nailed it.

373
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,249
- Don't ask.
- Don't tell.

374
00:16:38,294 --> 00:16:41,080
Poor Abed. Is he
in his imagination emporium?

375
00:16:41,123 --> 00:16:43,703
Dreamatorium. No, this seems
like something new.

376
00:16:43,719 --> 00:16:47,440
Abed was having some anxiety
about all the changes this year,

377
00:16:47,471 --> 00:16:51,054
so I may have told him to go
to a happy place in his mind.

378
00:16:51,118 --> 00:16:53,923
You told him to go somewhere
in his mind?

379
00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:55,548
Do you realize
who you told that to?

380
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,627
The last competition
to win a red ball

381
00:16:57,658 --> 00:16:59,171
begins in one minute.

382
00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:00,711
Honestly, Jeff, you can go.

383
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,948
No one will think
you're selfish.

384
00:17:03,885 --> 00:17:04,968
This looks bad.

385
00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:06,988
I wish I hadn't broken Abed.

386
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,909
There is one thing
we could try.

387
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,775
Oh, okay.

388
00:17:20,008 --> 00:17:21,642
Hey, let's play Pretend.

389
00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,297
Yeah, we could be cowboys.

390
00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:24,765
We could be spacemen.

391
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:31,086
That's right, baby Pierce.
We can play forever.

392
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,439
- It's not working.
- What's not working?

393
00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:38,016
Okay, contestants, final
competition begins right now.

394
00:17:38,731 --> 00:17:41,438
God, I hate new Jeff.

395
00:17:42,735 --> 00:17:45,256
Hey, guys,
I have something to say.

396
00:17:45,288 --> 00:17:47,168
Yay!
Like always!

397
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,250
I was just outside Babyville.

398
00:17:49,323 --> 00:17:50,844
There's nothing
outside Babyville.

399
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:52,776
You know what, there is!

400
00:17:53,051 --> 00:17:54,525
And it was scary,

401
00:17:54,565 --> 00:17:56,912
because change is always scary.

402
00:17:57,325 --> 00:17:59,012
But then I thought of you guys,

403
00:17:59,063 --> 00:18:00,968
and I wasn't so scared.

404
00:18:01,002 --> 00:18:02,784
Abed, when you brought
this group together,

405
00:18:02,809 --> 00:18:06,279
you changed our lives,
but then we changed each other.

406
00:18:06,393 --> 00:18:08,640
And we're gonna keep changing
in unexpected ways.

407
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,659
And we're still gonna be
friends,

408
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,038
even if we don't all become
professors at Greendale

409
00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:15,008
or open a restaurant together

410
00:18:15,037 --> 00:18:17,672
or move into the same apartment
building after Pierce dies.

411
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,177
Even if we go somewhere,

412
00:18:21,592 --> 00:18:23,626
we're not going anywhere.

413
00:18:23,671 --> 00:18:25,365
Aww.

414
00:18:35,842 --> 00:18:37,132
That was a killer speech, Jeff.

415
00:18:37,162 --> 00:18:38,940
- Oh.
- I didn't say anything.

416
00:18:38,946 --> 00:18:40,309
I literally just walked up.

417
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:41,635
I know.
I made the speech for you.

418
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,917
It hit all the right notes.

419
00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:44,902
I was trying to hang on to this
moment because I was so afraid

420
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,405
of the future,
but then I realized

421
00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:48,498
all of this
was once the future.

422
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,732
And it was completely different
from what I'd known before.

423
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:52,292
And it was happening so fast,

424
00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:54,430
but in the end,
or in the now, I guess,

425
00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:55,630
it turned out great.

426
00:18:55,679 --> 00:18:57,313
And just like ice cream,

427
00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,108
we've melted together
and made a new...

428
00:18:59,132 --> 00:19:00,864
I just had to run the scenario
to figure it out.

429
00:19:00,901 --> 00:19:01,756
Oh.

430
00:19:01,831 --> 00:19:02,948
Sorry I missed the fountain.

431
00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:03,912
It's okay.

432
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,410
Britta introduced a new rule...

433
00:19:05,555 --> 00:19:06,859
no rules.

434
00:19:07,177 --> 00:19:08,360
Cool.
We can discuss it.

435
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:09,590
When they were incepting,

436
00:19:09,635 --> 00:19:11,673
I got their balls.

437
00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:17,072
Well, now that we're out
of History of Ice Cream,

438
00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:19,726
I can finally take
"Advanced Claims Denial."

439
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,956
You should take "Forensics."

440
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:27,728
Can somebody tell me
what the hell we just did?

441
00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:30,728
Jeffrey.

442
00:19:30,751 --> 00:19:32,473
- Jeffrey, wait.
- Dean, what are you...

443
00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:34,768
Oh! You smell like the floor
of a movie theater.

444
00:19:34,817 --> 00:19:36,301
Yeah,
but not for the usual reasons.

445
00:19:36,357 --> 00:19:38,126
I have had the worst day.

446
00:19:38,145 --> 00:19:39,499
Our dance photo
didn't come out,

447
00:19:39,524 --> 00:19:41,202
someone moved my stapler,

448
00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:43,727
and, worst of all, I hurt you.

449
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:44,842
But you'll be happy to know

450
00:19:44,861 --> 00:19:47,355
that we'll be offering
another History class,

451
00:19:47,636 --> 00:19:49,036
because I care about you.

452
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,838
And not because I found out
if we don't offer

453
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,808
a real History class we'll lose,
like, $40,000 in grant money.

454
00:19:53,851 --> 00:19:55,024
Thank you, Dean.

455
00:19:55,059 --> 00:19:56,527
By the way, you didn't have
to come all this way

456
00:19:56,547 --> 00:19:58,947
- to tell me that.
- Oh, no, it wasn't a problem.

457
00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:00,787
It's on my way.

458
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:04,454
Please tell me
you're breaking into that condo.

459
00:20:04,486 --> 00:20:06,107
No, I bought it.

460
00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,235
Now we'll be
like almost roomies.

461
00:20:08,324 --> 00:20:11,118
Oh, good, you got wine.
I've got friends with benefits.

462
00:20:11,152 --> 00:20:12,115
No subtext.

463
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:14,826
I don't know why I was
so worried about change.

464
00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,452
This year's gonna be great.

465
00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:18,234
I'll be right over.

466
00:20:49,812 --> 00:20:50,978
Are you sure
this is gonna work?

467
00:20:51,023 --> 00:20:52,692
Guaranteed to work.
It's an antic.

468
00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:56,350
Ahh!
Not so fast, you two.

469
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:58,661
- Get ready to run.
- In these heels?

470
00:21:00,237 --> 00:21:01,665
Where'd you girls
get those dresses?

471
00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:02,915
They're fabulous.

472
00:21:03,427 --> 00:21:04,891
- Mm.
- They're charming.

473
00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:06,372
Oh!

474
00:21:06,415 --> 00:21:08,216
Not so fast, mister.

475
00:21:08,247 --> 00:21:10,828
- Excuse you?
- Excuse me. Thank you, sir.

476
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:12,914
- Not for you.
- Hello, it's Britta.

477
00:21:12,926 --> 00:21:14,480
Okay, I know a man
when I see one.

478
00:21:14,521 --> 00:21:16,638
Oh, lord, no!

479
00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:24,551
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther