1 00:00:04,074 --> 00:00:05,290 Look, 12 o'clock. 2 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,195 The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out. 3 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,433 It's as informative as it is delicious! 4 00:00:09,483 --> 00:00:11,384 That class should've been ours. 5 00:00:11,423 --> 00:00:13,618 I hear the final is a sundae bar. 6 00:00:13,637 --> 00:00:15,049 - Mm. - I don't get history. 7 00:00:15,074 --> 00:00:17,245 If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, 8 00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:18,543 I'd watch Game of Thrones. 9 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,758 Troy, that show takes place in a fantasy realm. 10 00:00:20,776 --> 00:00:22,383 This class is about the real world. 11 00:00:23,406 --> 00:00:24,631 Not the show. 12 00:00:24,908 --> 00:00:26,698 You need to think before you speak. 13 00:00:26,729 --> 00:00:28,400 I heard this teacher's a real hard-ass. 14 00:00:28,418 --> 00:00:31,452 - He's British, and he has a degree. - I can't have a hard-buns teacher. 15 00:00:31,476 --> 00:00:32,887 I'm already starting a new business. 16 00:00:32,911 --> 00:00:34,311 When am I supposed to see my family? 17 00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:36,180 And last week, Ben took his first steps without me. 18 00:00:36,206 --> 00:00:37,206 Quick impression. "Wah." 19 00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:38,625 Who am I? You guys. 20 00:00:38,656 --> 00:00:39,869 Ha! Dead on. 21 00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:41,791 I know "the History of Ice Cream" 22 00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:42,973 would have been fun, 23 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,684 but not only will this class be much less likely 24 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:47,142 to give us type 2 diabetes. 25 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:50,192 We might actually learn so... n of a bitch! 26 00:00:51,588 --> 00:00:53,423 Those annoying Germans are back? 27 00:00:53,448 --> 00:00:55,050 I thought they transferred after they lost 28 00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,353 their foosball scholarship. 29 00:00:56,377 --> 00:00:57,847 I heard they were juicing. 30 00:00:57,862 --> 00:01:00,847 No, them leaving would mean Greendale got slightly better, 31 00:01:00,865 --> 00:01:03,711 which, as we know, does not happen. 32 00:01:03,859 --> 00:01:06,500 Lukas, Karl, I see you've grown a new douche bag. 33 00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,223 My name is Reinhold. 34 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,882 I believe you know my brother Juergen. 35 00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:13,792 There vas some bad blood between you two, ja? 36 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,511 Don't worry. 37 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,428 If there is one thing Germans don't do, 38 00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:18,584 it's hold a grudge. 39 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:20,008 Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3. 40 00:01:20,032 --> 00:01:22,106 Or the 20th century. 41 00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:23,897 Morning, everyone. 42 00:01:23,943 --> 00:01:25,193 Morning. 43 00:01:25,806 --> 00:01:27,905 I am Professor Cornwallis. 44 00:01:27,924 --> 00:01:29,669 I know what you're all thinking, 45 00:01:29,696 --> 00:01:31,945 and the answer is... 46 00:01:32,378 --> 00:01:34,985 Yes. I am a direct descendant 47 00:01:35,009 --> 00:01:37,897 of general Sir Charles Cornwallis, 48 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:40,610 who surrendered the British forces at Yorktown. 49 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,073 Was anyone thinking that? 50 00:01:42,092 --> 00:01:42,923 No. 51 00:01:42,948 --> 00:01:45,296 History is written... 52 00:01:45,784 --> 00:01:46,822 By the victors. 53 00:01:46,866 --> 00:01:48,636 Well, of course, we all know the quote. 54 00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:49,627 What does it mean? 55 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,375 According to Oxford University, 56 00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:55,423 it means that my 20 years' loyal service there 57 00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:59,153 means nothing next to a little slipup 58 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,865 with a co-ed. 59 00:02:01,131 --> 00:02:03,069 Ahem. But what it really means 60 00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:05,424 is that history can be seen 61 00:02:05,454 --> 00:02:07,621 from aultitude of vantage points. 62 00:02:07,785 --> 00:02:10,020 So, for your first test on Monday... 63 00:02:11,539 --> 00:02:13,551 I'm confused. When do we get our ice cream? 64 00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:15,595 I want to challenge you to look at history 65 00:02:15,614 --> 00:02:17,389 from all perspectives. 66 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,634 How would the story read if it was written 67 00:02:20,672 --> 00:02:22,420 not by the victors, 68 00:02:22,722 --> 00:02:24,341 but by the vanquished? 69 00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:25,785 Ja. 70 00:02:25,899 --> 00:02:29,068 How indeed? 71 00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:40,838 I was recalling a very funny episode 72 00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:42,713 of the German version of The Nanny. 73 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,040 "Franlein" gets a... 74 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,140 It wouldn't translate. 75 00:03:11,095 --> 00:03:13,892 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 76 00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:17,034 And I still have those pants. True story. 77 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,181 Oh, we have fun. 78 00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:21,138 Sorry. 79 00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,057 I should've realized that might be startling. 80 00:03:23,127 --> 00:03:26,145 Dr. Ken Kedan, greater Greendale mental health services. 81 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,716 Kevin, does this gentleman look familiar to you? 82 00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:32,213 I'm sorry. He doesn't. 83 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:35,349 Kevin? Uh-uh. His name is Chang. 84 00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:36,962 Oh, of course. 85 00:03:36,988 --> 00:03:39,229 That explains the note. 86 00:03:40,257 --> 00:03:42,488 "Hello, my name is Kevin. I have Changnesia"? 87 00:03:42,503 --> 00:03:43,927 - What is that? - It's not uncommon 88 00:03:43,945 --> 00:03:45,772 for victims of memory loss to experience 89 00:03:45,803 --> 00:03:47,516 some syntactical confusion. 90 00:03:47,702 --> 00:03:49,459 Thus the inappropriate insertion of his name 91 00:03:49,464 --> 00:03:50,672 into an unrelated phrase. 92 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,841 No, he's always Dean that. 93 00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:54,554 Once we learned of the connection to Greendale, 94 00:03:54,579 --> 00:03:56,637 we realized it would be the perfect environment 95 00:03:56,661 --> 00:03:58,178 for some immersive therapy. 96 00:03:58,217 --> 00:04:00,879 What? No, absolutely not. 97 00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:03,582 I can't have an unbalanced nut job 98 00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:05,741 traipsing around on my campus! 99 00:04:05,867 --> 00:04:07,387 Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge. 100 00:04:07,411 --> 00:04:09,173 Get him out of here! 101 00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:12,021 Sorry. Your school board already signed off on it. 102 00:04:12,090 --> 00:04:14,653 Kevin is now your responsibility. 103 00:04:18,627 --> 00:04:20,001 I just felt a strange disturbance. 104 00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,244 - Did you have dairy this morning? - Could be that. 105 00:04:22,307 --> 00:04:24,008 Or it could be that great evil is nearby. 106 00:04:24,152 --> 00:04:25,720 I'll take a provisional lactaid. 107 00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:28,378 Won't be needing the lactaid. 108 00:04:28,412 --> 00:04:31,363 Uh, guys? This is our study room. 109 00:04:31,388 --> 00:04:34,019 Please leave, and take that mushroom cloud of drakkar with you. 110 00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:35,966 Why must he hurt so with his vords? 111 00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:38,084 He's like a less funny Hans Rickles. 112 00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:40,334 I'm not here to argue, Angela Jerk-els. 113 00:04:40,358 --> 00:04:41,921 - Beat it! - Ohhh! 114 00:04:41,939 --> 00:04:44,090 Someone must have changed the channel to USA, 115 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,941 'cause I just watched a burn notice. 116 00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:46,965 Oh. 117 00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:48,829 Who's Angela Jerk-els? 118 00:04:48,849 --> 00:04:50,921 I can assure you, ve are here for no reason 119 00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:52,209 other than to study. 120 00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:53,707 Our usual off-campus haunt, 121 00:04:53,725 --> 00:04:55,741 der kaffee hausen, is closed for the shooting 122 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,641 of an esoteric art film. 123 00:04:57,685 --> 00:04:59,506 Tomorrow it shall re-open, unt we shall be 124 00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:01,945 out of your heavily product-laden hair. 125 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:07,430 Jeff, it's just a little table in the corner of the room. 126 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,740 Why don't we just let them have it? 127 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:10,562 Because that's called appeasement. 128 00:05:10,671 --> 00:05:13,633 And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small, 129 00:05:13,651 --> 00:05:15,674 like the study room or Austria, 130 00:05:15,696 --> 00:05:17,113 they end up wanting something big, 131 00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:18,134 like Earth. 132 00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:19,860 - Oh. - Jeff's right. 133 00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:21,504 If there were more people in the world like Annie, 134 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,566 we'd all be speaking vietnamese right now. 135 00:05:24,312 --> 00:05:25,614 That was my war. 136 00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:27,739 I had flashbacks for years. 137 00:05:27,776 --> 00:05:29,160 Pierce, you moved to Canada. 138 00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:31,178 And it was hell. 139 00:05:31,848 --> 00:05:33,739 Those people call ham "bacon". 140 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:36,199 This is silly. I'm just gonna walk over there 141 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:39,248 and tell them they are welcome to share our room. 142 00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:40,835 Delightful. 143 00:05:40,858 --> 00:05:43,109 So today, ve study in here. 144 00:05:43,203 --> 00:05:44,937 Unt tonight, we dine in hell. 145 00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:52,372 Doktor Blitz, knight of the Atlantis Guild, 146 00:05:52,397 --> 00:05:56,016 wielder of the four-pronged trident on SpawnCraft? 147 00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:57,310 How did you know? 148 00:05:57,372 --> 00:05:59,482 I recognized your catchphrase, "Tonight we dine in hell!" 149 00:05:59,494 --> 00:06:01,076 I'm SpaceTimer8032. 150 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,759 You are SpaceTimer8032? 151 00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:06,202 - The one and only. - It's wonderful to meet you... 152 00:06:06,253 --> 00:06:08,153 Brother. 153 00:06:12,317 --> 00:06:13,900 What was that all about? 154 00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:15,762 You two seemed pretty chummy. 155 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,513 That man saved my life. 156 00:06:17,597 --> 00:06:19,097 In a video game. 157 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,862 Let me get this as straight as I can get things. 158 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,402 You authorized this? 159 00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:25,694 After everything that happened last year? 160 00:06:25,748 --> 00:06:26,994 Hear us out. 161 00:06:27,072 --> 00:06:28,699 They offered money. 162 00:06:28,724 --> 00:06:31,163 Did it ever occur to you that this man is a psychopath 163 00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:32,747 who may be faking his own Changnesia? 164 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,494 Oh, now he has me saying it. 165 00:06:34,757 --> 00:06:35,819 Amdeansia. 166 00:06:35,825 --> 00:06:37,444 Amdeansia... I'm all turned around. 167 00:06:37,485 --> 00:06:39,762 If he is faking, you're welcome to prove it. 168 00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:41,443 We get the money either way. 169 00:06:41,811 --> 00:06:42,543 Mm! 170 00:06:42,597 --> 00:06:44,457 Oh, I will prove it. 171 00:06:44,707 --> 00:06:47,498 And I'll have fun doing it. 172 00:06:48,153 --> 00:06:49,587 Now, what to wear? 173 00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:53,590 See? 174 00:06:53,609 --> 00:06:55,178 I know those guys were annoying yesterday, 175 00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:56,830 but aren't you glad we didn't turn it 176 00:06:56,855 --> 00:06:59,115 into a whole big macho war thing? 177 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,446 Gosh, Annie, you're right. I can't believe I doubted you. 178 00:07:01,477 --> 00:07:02,821 Hey, apropos of nothing, 179 00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:04,667 what's that sound you make when you see something shocking? 180 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:06,210 Oh, yeah, that's it. 181 00:07:06,239 --> 00:07:07,758 What are you guys doing at our table? 182 00:07:07,782 --> 00:07:10,101 What happened to der kaffee hausen? 183 00:07:10,128 --> 00:07:11,583 Our time in this room yesterday 184 00:07:11,595 --> 00:07:13,388 proved more pleasant than expected. 185 00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:15,102 It's got a good energy. 186 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,756 That table is ours. 187 00:07:16,768 --> 00:07:18,102 This room is ours! 188 00:07:18,131 --> 00:07:19,347 You guys need to leave. 189 00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,649 - Hey, Karl. - Hi, Abed. 190 00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:24,490 I am afraid it is you who must do 191 00:07:24,506 --> 00:07:27,112 the making like a tree, which is to say, leaving. 192 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,310 Uh, security! 193 00:07:28,337 --> 00:07:29,943 You want us to leave? 194 00:07:30,124 --> 00:07:31,124 There a problem here? 195 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:32,559 Yeah, there's a problem. 196 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,377 These dussle-dorks won't leave our study room. 197 00:07:34,424 --> 00:07:35,455 Nice! 198 00:07:35,468 --> 00:07:37,136 I don't understand any of these puns. 199 00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,660 I think I need to learn history. 200 00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:40,067 Do you have a sign-in sheet? 201 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,874 You're asking for our papers? 202 00:07:41,977 --> 00:07:44,091 I thought this was America, not Arizona. 203 00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:47,231 We have a sign-in sheet. Lukas. 204 00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:49,216 Perhaps we should all just go home 205 00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:51,948 and see our families and think things through, huh? 206 00:07:51,996 --> 00:07:54,185 Looks like the room is theirs. 207 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,921 Shirley, call your babysitter, 208 00:07:56,946 --> 00:07:59,279 because this... means... 209 00:07:59,301 --> 00:08:00,802 Let me guess. 210 00:08:00,997 --> 00:08:01,829 War? 211 00:08:01,835 --> 00:08:03,035 Let the lady finish her sentence. 212 00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:05,022 Thank you, Jeff! 213 00:08:05,995 --> 00:08:07,298 War. Yeah. 214 00:08:20,304 --> 00:08:22,030 We'd like to sign out study room "F". 215 00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:25,348 It would appear that in this battle, our bulge was a little bit bigger. 216 00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:26,929 Guten bye-bye. 217 00:08:26,977 --> 00:08:28,311 Excuse me. Don't touch. 218 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,196 Damn them and their perfectly crafted timepieces. 219 00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,835 What else do you have available? 220 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,244 It's like a Darren Aronofsky film. 221 00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:42,383 I'll get this. 222 00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,605 My fifth father-in-law was an electrician. 223 00:08:44,629 --> 00:08:46,517 You pick up a thing or two. 224 00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:51,104 Agh! Everybody grab me, please! Ugh! 225 00:08:51,132 --> 00:08:52,883 Nobody grab him. 226 00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:54,956 Pierce, just let go. 227 00:08:54,988 --> 00:08:57,638 - You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Of the thing, Pierce. 228 00:08:57,679 --> 00:08:59,624 Oh, it smells like barbecue. 229 00:08:59,642 --> 00:09:01,260 We're getting up earlier tomorrow. 230 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,900 Oh, no. 231 00:09:18,932 --> 00:09:20,720 - Oh! - Ugh! 232 00:09:33,044 --> 00:09:34,787 Oh, look at them! 233 00:09:58,586 --> 00:10:00,098 Hi. 234 00:10:00,256 --> 00:10:02,278 Thanks again for taking me in. 235 00:10:02,298 --> 00:10:05,237 We must have been great pals before my Changnesia, huh? 236 00:10:05,276 --> 00:10:07,050 Oh, my... That's it. 237 00:10:07,134 --> 00:10:09,056 You may have fooled that handsome doctor, 238 00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,437 but you can't fool me. 239 00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:11,821 Oh, how convenient. 240 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,743 Showing up here with Changnesia 241 00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:16,826 after you staged a coup, almost blew up the school, 242 00:10:16,844 --> 00:10:19,829 and locked me in a basement for months! 243 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,417 Without so much as a drop of moisturizer! 244 00:10:22,462 --> 00:10:23,618 I did all that? 245 00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:25,386 I mean, Chang did all that? 246 00:10:25,673 --> 00:10:26,855 If that's true, 247 00:10:26,873 --> 00:10:29,880 then Chang, who is me, 248 00:10:30,121 --> 00:10:31,187 deserves to go to jail. 249 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,182 Well, he did. 250 00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:33,684 And you do. 251 00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:35,606 This is the worst thing that's happened to me 252 00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:37,944 in my 96 hours of memory. 253 00:10:39,293 --> 00:10:42,945 And that failed ventriloquist's name was... 254 00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,576 Slobodan Milosevic. 255 00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:45,909 Ohh. 256 00:10:45,925 --> 00:10:48,720 For the essay portion of your test on Monday, 257 00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:51,913 you will be asked to describe a historical battle 258 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:55,150 from the perspectives of both the winners and the losers. 259 00:10:55,419 --> 00:10:56,650 No dioramas. 260 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,229 Guten luck on the examination. 261 00:11:01,306 --> 00:11:03,848 Ve vill be preparing for it in study room "F", 262 00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:05,357 as in "Fictory". 263 00:11:05,487 --> 00:11:08,419 I like the way your old chair cradles mein knaidels. 264 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:10,970 I just made that up. 265 00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,733 You know, English is my second language. 266 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,790 Jeff, stop. 267 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,569 - It's over. - No. 268 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,680 These guys are horrible. 269 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:20,129 Totally. Except Karl. 270 00:11:20,142 --> 00:11:21,358 - Really, Abed? - Mm-hmm. 271 00:11:21,372 --> 00:11:22,294 Karl's not horrible? 272 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,741 Even though he took your home? 273 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:24,535 All right. 274 00:11:24,555 --> 00:11:26,277 When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom. 275 00:11:26,283 --> 00:11:27,533 I didn't have much of a family. 276 00:11:27,584 --> 00:11:30,032 That is, until I met you guys. 277 00:11:30,072 --> 00:11:32,631 So excuse me if I'm not willing to give up 278 00:11:32,656 --> 00:11:36,092 the place where we became a family. 279 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,673 So what are we gonna do? 280 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,982 We literally can't get up any earlier. 281 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:41,537 Many years ago, 282 00:11:41,561 --> 00:11:44,680 before the concept of "too soon" existed, 283 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,078 there was a show about a bunch of goofy Nazis 284 00:11:47,096 --> 00:11:48,491 running a prison camp, 285 00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:51,133 - and that show was called... - Hogan's Heroes? 286 00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:53,602 - Hogan's Heroes. - Yes. 287 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,861 And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends, 288 00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:59,092 it was a bit desensitizing, 289 00:11:59,198 --> 00:12:00,662 it still taught me 290 00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:04,000 that the lovable misfits always win. 291 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,967 And the bumbling Germans always lose. 292 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:08,927 All we need is a clever ruse. 293 00:12:08,952 --> 00:12:11,136 Strike that. All we need is a ruse. 294 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,651 You had me at "ruse." 295 00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:15,221 - That was the last thing I said. - Good thing you said it. 296 00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:26,841 Ah! 297 00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:29,596 Welcome to Oktoberfest. 298 00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:32,094 - Vat is this? - Call it a peace offering. 299 00:12:32,114 --> 00:12:33,731 You won. We lost. 300 00:12:33,732 --> 00:12:35,647 Let's end this dumb war and move on. 301 00:12:35,665 --> 00:12:37,322 Care for some authentic blutwurst? 302 00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:39,016 This stuff's the real deal. 303 00:12:39,035 --> 00:12:40,566 We got it down in little Munich. 304 00:12:40,584 --> 00:12:42,702 It's been banned by the FDA. 305 00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:43,881 - Ooh! - No, Karl! 306 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,839 That blutwurst was probably injected 307 00:12:45,851 --> 00:12:49,037 with a laxative to make us pull a grete waitz in our trousers. 308 00:12:49,074 --> 00:12:50,093 I promise you, 309 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,259 there's nothing gross in this sausage. 310 00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:54,945 It's just pig's blood stuffed into a cow's intestine. 311 00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:58,032 Gott, that must be nearly 100 luftballons! 312 00:12:59,142 --> 00:13:01,176 Idiot! Do not accept their gifts. 313 00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:02,970 Something is clearly up. 314 00:13:02,988 --> 00:13:05,518 Please, these are just small tokens of our friendship. 315 00:13:05,621 --> 00:13:06,533 Oh, come on. 316 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,892 Dirndls, blutwurst, luftballons. 317 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,253 A cartoonishly large cake. 318 00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:12,910 This is a ruse. 319 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,524 It is exactly like an episode of Hogan's Villains. 320 00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:17,916 Ruse? This is no ruse. 321 00:13:17,955 --> 00:13:20,406 Just take that large cake back to the study room 322 00:13:20,444 --> 00:13:21,795 and enjoy it there. 323 00:13:21,874 --> 00:13:22,928 So there's nothing hiding 324 00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:25,475 inside this giant German chocolate cake? 325 00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:26,753 Ask Abed. 326 00:13:26,784 --> 00:13:30,039 You can trust him. He's a friend. 327 00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:32,792 Nope. Just solid cake. 328 00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,308 Hmm. 329 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,458 Then you wouldn't mind if I... 330 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,514 Cut the cake? 331 00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:40,117 Or you could save it for later. 332 00:13:40,135 --> 00:13:41,435 You don't have to share it. 333 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,481 Shirley stayed up all night baking that for you. 334 00:13:43,549 --> 00:13:46,966 No problem. I just used the eggs I would've used for my son's breakfast. 335 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,926 But it would be so easy for me 336 00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:51,099 to carve into this cake... 337 00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:52,252 And serve us all! 338 00:13:52,274 --> 00:13:53,408 Wait! 339 00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:55,083 Damn it. Sorry. 340 00:13:55,136 --> 00:13:57,164 We thought you were stupider than this. 341 00:13:57,248 --> 00:13:58,736 Troy. 342 00:14:02,231 --> 00:14:04,282 Should I release the tear gas, or has that ship sank? 343 00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:08,499 An excellent attempt, Vinger, 344 00:14:08,517 --> 00:14:10,913 but we are smarter than you, and once again, 345 00:14:10,936 --> 00:14:12,870 it shall be us who are savoring 346 00:14:12,891 --> 00:14:16,291 the smooth and somewhat ha-ha-hoppy taste of victory. 347 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,184 Beer me, bitte. 348 00:14:18,505 --> 00:14:19,549 Here you go. 349 00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:21,661 As they say in Ferris Bueller, 350 00:14:21,936 --> 00:14:22,974 danke schoen. 351 00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:24,928 And as they say in the movie, gotcha! 352 00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,024 Gotcha. 353 00:14:28,585 --> 00:14:30,596 - Busted. - Busted? 354 00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:31,472 For what? 355 00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:34,712 But there were dozens of students at that Oktoberfest. 356 00:14:34,863 --> 00:14:36,820 But you were the only German students 357 00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:38,345 celebrating German culture, 358 00:14:38,359 --> 00:14:40,944 and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no. 359 00:14:41,008 --> 00:14:44,483 We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage. 360 00:14:44,514 --> 00:14:47,166 I mean, if the hasidic student union wants 361 00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:50,104 to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, Jews! 362 00:14:50,129 --> 00:14:51,863 Hanukkah? No, sir. 363 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,504 It's why I keep a detailed list 364 00:14:53,535 --> 00:14:55,442 of every student's race and nationality... 365 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:57,971 to prevent racism and nationalism. 366 00:14:57,996 --> 00:15:00,334 - This is an outrage! - Relax. 367 00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:01,540 It's not like you're expelled. 368 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,942 You're just banned from certain campus amenities, 369 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,082 uh, water fountains, swimming pools... huh. 370 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,500 Most of these are water-based. 371 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,320 Oh, and the study rooms. 372 00:15:09,351 --> 00:15:10,589 - Oh! - Uh! 373 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,490 Oh, I gotta take this. Bye-bye. 374 00:15:15,105 --> 00:15:16,976 Dean Pelton... if I don't offer you a receipt, 375 00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:18,968 your education is free. 376 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,053 Chang did what? 377 00:15:32,507 --> 00:15:33,711 Oh, cool. 378 00:15:33,748 --> 00:15:35,647 - What are we protesting? - You guys. 379 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,250 You've been hogging that study room for three years. 380 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,690 Somebody finally stood up to you, 381 00:15:39,702 --> 00:15:40,996 and you had them banned. 382 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:43,793 Why must our people always be the victims? 383 00:15:44,015 --> 00:15:45,866 - What do we want? - Justice! 384 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,727 - When do we want it? - Now! 385 00:15:47,751 --> 00:15:49,405 - What do we want? - Justice! 386 00:15:49,417 --> 00:15:50,618 - Oh, my God. - When do we want it? 387 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,640 - Now! - This whole time, 388 00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:53,821 we thought the Germans were the Germans. 389 00:15:53,846 --> 00:15:57,199 But it turns out, we're the Germans. 390 00:16:01,218 --> 00:16:04,344 Hang on. You guys are all siding with the Germans? 391 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,544 You realize these guys are, like, 392 00:16:05,562 --> 00:16:07,150 contractor-grade tools. 393 00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:09,809 They signed out that room fair and square, 394 00:16:09,827 --> 00:16:11,600 and then you had to take it too far, 395 00:16:11,619 --> 00:16:14,054 like you always do with that room. 396 00:16:14,069 --> 00:16:15,275 Yeah! 397 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,652 Damn it! 398 00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:22,679 I signed this room out! 399 00:16:22,897 --> 00:16:24,481 And I have a final tomorrow! 400 00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:26,739 They lost a pen. 401 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,103 Can you come back in a few hours? 402 00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:30,813 We're playing Dungeons & Dragons. 403 00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:33,035 - Yes? - I left my notebook in there. 404 00:16:33,053 --> 00:16:34,186 Well, you're going to have to come back later. 405 00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:36,177 I'm trying to prove a point. 406 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,632 You're like those guys on Hogan's Heroes. 407 00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:39,600 The Nazis. 408 00:16:40,479 --> 00:16:42,172 You take that back! 409 00:16:42,506 --> 00:16:43,598 I'm jewish. 410 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,778 Yeah, Leonard. Don't call me a Nazi. 411 00:16:45,803 --> 00:16:48,094 You are wearing an S.S. t-shirt. 412 00:16:48,184 --> 00:16:49,792 - Oh. - Oh! 413 00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:52,345 - Oh! - Oh. 414 00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,003 Open two. 415 00:17:00,358 --> 00:17:01,517 What are you doing here? 416 00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:03,725 You, sir, have been bailed out. 417 00:17:03,762 --> 00:17:06,931 We are going to nurse you back to health. 418 00:17:07,289 --> 00:17:08,855 But why? 419 00:17:09,092 --> 00:17:11,088 Why take me back in after everything I did to you? 420 00:17:11,107 --> 00:17:12,745 When I heard that you had checked yourself into jail, 421 00:17:12,751 --> 00:17:14,722 I realized you couldn't be faking. 422 00:17:14,771 --> 00:17:17,200 The real Chang would never have remorse 423 00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:18,357 for what he did. 424 00:17:18,399 --> 00:17:19,928 I believe you... 425 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,116 Kevin. 426 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,959 Plus, curing Changnesia, that's a human interest story. 427 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,068 That puts Greendale on the map. 428 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:29,331 But your health comes second, whoop, first, to the school. 429 00:17:29,437 --> 00:17:31,975 Oh, let's not hug. Do you mind getting my... 430 00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:32,953 Okay. 431 00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,352 Probably shouldn't step on it. 432 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,797 I feel guilty eating this cake. 433 00:17:38,079 --> 00:17:39,699 And not for the usual reasons. 434 00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:41,589 Hate to say it, but this is what happens 435 00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,242 when a group of people blindly follows 436 00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,221 a charismatic, golden-throated leader. 437 00:17:45,246 --> 00:17:47,256 Are you actually comparing me to Hitler? 438 00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:48,699 There are similarities. 439 00:17:48,723 --> 00:17:50,749 Hang on. Nobody's even willing 440 00:17:50,768 --> 00:17:53,475 to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group? 441 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,176 We were the good guys. 442 00:17:55,195 --> 00:17:57,280 How could everybody think we're the bad guys? 443 00:17:57,305 --> 00:17:58,205 We are. 444 00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,952 When Karl and I were raiding the Diamond North Caves, 445 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,130 I was facing 50 Death Beatles. 446 00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:02,730 I would've perished for sure, but he saved me. 447 00:18:02,754 --> 00:18:04,139 Then when I had a chance to return the favor, 448 00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:05,887 I looked him in the eye, and I told him it was solid cake. 449 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,425 You were just following orders. 450 00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:09,394 There's probably a way I can make it up to him. 451 00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:10,635 Oh. 452 00:18:10,745 --> 00:18:12,599 Maybe I'll give him my four-pronged trident. 453 00:18:12,647 --> 00:18:14,200 Why don't you call it a "quadrident"? 454 00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:15,677 - Shh. - Ah! 455 00:18:15,689 --> 00:18:17,323 There you people are. 456 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:21,088 I believe we have something to discuss. 457 00:18:21,493 --> 00:18:23,009 Oh, my God. 458 00:18:23,118 --> 00:18:25,386 You clever British bastard. 459 00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:27,732 You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson. 460 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:29,515 - What? - Making the school pretend 461 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,142 to hate us, to show us that one man's hero 462 00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,526 is another man's villain. 463 00:18:33,551 --> 00:18:36,139 Of course! We aren't Nazis. 464 00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,554 I tip my cap to you, sir. 465 00:18:38,578 --> 00:18:39,472 Lesson learned. 466 00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:42,707 Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale 467 00:18:42,725 --> 00:18:44,860 would set up an elaborate ruse 468 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,148 just to teach seven students a lesson? 469 00:18:47,162 --> 00:18:48,250 - Uh, yes. - Yeah. 470 00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:49,575 - Yes. - That's a Wednesday. 471 00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:51,029 Oh, my God. 472 00:18:51,112 --> 00:18:54,226 I've made a terrible mistake coming here. 473 00:18:54,438 --> 00:18:57,261 So this wasn't part of the class? 474 00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:58,775 Then why are you here? 475 00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,104 Because you had a test today, and you all missed it! 476 00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:02,379 "F" s for everyone. 477 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,641 Oh. 478 00:19:03,814 --> 00:19:07,161 Maybe it's not too late to get out of my contract. 479 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,919 - I really am Hitler. - Yeah. 480 00:19:12,164 --> 00:19:14,488 So it's just decided. 481 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,514 No vote or anything. 482 00:19:16,693 --> 00:19:17,771 I hate this. 483 00:19:17,783 --> 00:19:19,183 I wish there was a way that we could 484 00:19:19,437 --> 00:19:20,588 make it up to people. 485 00:19:21,008 --> 00:19:22,121 That's it. 486 00:19:22,474 --> 00:19:24,619 We need to make reparations. 487 00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:26,965 We have to start giving back 488 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:30,475 because Greendale has given us so much. 489 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,403 It gave us the study room. 490 00:19:32,816 --> 00:19:35,957 And that study room is our home. 491 00:19:36,658 --> 00:19:40,964 But our home is more than those four walls. 492 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:46,072 And our family is more than the seven of us. 493 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:50,299 It's all of Greendale. 494 00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:53,962 And everyone deserves to have what we have. 495 00:19:56,911 --> 00:19:57,881 What do you know? 496 00:19:57,918 --> 00:20:00,131 Greendale just got slightly better. 497 00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:04,751 It's good to be back. 498 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,618 Should we go celebrate at Skeeper's? 499 00:20:06,636 --> 00:20:08,635 Oh, come on, Shirley. We all have lives. 500 00:20:08,657 --> 00:20:09,948 There you are! 501 00:20:09,973 --> 00:20:12,659 I am so proud how you stepped up and made amends. 502 00:20:12,683 --> 00:20:15,087 And everyone forgave you. 503 00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:17,173 Because when it comes right down to it, 504 00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:18,904 Greendale's a forgiving place. 505 00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,148 It really is. 506 00:20:20,168 --> 00:20:21,898 Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds. 507 00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:23,412 Remember that people can "Chang". 508 00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:24,378 People can what? 509 00:20:24,403 --> 00:20:26,027 Hmm? 510 00:20:26,543 --> 00:20:27,523 Hi, I'm Kevin. 511 00:20:30,618 --> 00:20:32,619 He has Changnesia. 512 00:20:35,449 --> 00:20:36,784 And you know what that sound is. 513 00:20:36,812 --> 00:20:38,623 It's the Troy and Abed Podcast. 514 00:20:38,641 --> 00:20:40,587 Sponsored by Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the fried chicken skin wrap. 515 00:20:40,611 --> 00:20:42,357 Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. 516 00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:44,090 Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe. 517 00:20:44,115 --> 00:20:45,981 Karl, guten tag. How are you doing? 518 00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:47,182 - Sehr gut. - Great. 519 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,701 Now's the part of the show where we get real. 520 00:20:48,736 --> 00:20:50,920 Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption. 521 00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,828 - Is this an apology? - Yes. 522 00:20:52,853 --> 00:20:55,251 And for being a guest on the show today, we want you to have this. 523 00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:57,156 It's a gift certificate to Shirley's Sandwiches, 524 00:20:57,169 --> 00:20:59,670 home of the triple-fried monte cristo. 525 00:20:59,715 --> 00:21:01,484 We challenge you to taste the bread. 526 00:21:01,518 --> 00:21:03,435 This coupon is a $5 bill. 527 00:21:03,522 --> 00:21:05,039 Well, that's all the time we have today. 528 00:21:05,045 --> 00:21:06,314 For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir. 529 00:21:06,339 --> 00:21:07,862 And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes. 530 00:21:07,874 --> 00:21:10,042 And we're out. 531 00:21:10,643 --> 00:21:11,737 Thanks so much for doing this. 532 00:21:11,756 --> 00:21:13,640 So will you be on my podcast tomorrow? 533 00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:15,658 We've got a thing. 534 00:21:15,912 --> 00:21:19,165 Beep, boop, bow!