1 00:00:01,028 --> 00:00:03,495 And then in the season finale, 2 00:00:03,716 --> 00:00:05,603 they reveal the whole thing was a dream, 3 00:00:05,621 --> 00:00:07,076 when the Inspector wakes up 4 00:00:07,156 --> 00:00:11,419 next to a very young and very topless Cheryl Tiegs. 5 00:00:12,439 --> 00:00:14,092 Even Pierce loves this show now? 6 00:00:14,093 --> 00:00:15,293 It's not Inspector Spacetime. 7 00:00:15,305 --> 00:00:17,362 It's the American version, and it's a travesty. 8 00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:19,027 It's broad, obvious, sexist, and the timing is... 9 00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:21,152 Honey, I'm dean! 10 00:00:21,196 --> 00:00:22,653 What the hell is wrong with you? 11 00:00:22,678 --> 00:00:25,678 Oh, Jeffrey, you are too much. 12 00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:27,953 Why, I was doing some house cleaning the other day... 13 00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:31,002 "Deana Reed" style... When I realized, "gosh, golly, 14 00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:33,602 it's been ages since we had a dance." 15 00:00:33,639 --> 00:00:37,511 So, this Friday we are going back to Greendale's golden age 16 00:00:37,523 --> 00:00:39,773 with an old-fashioned sock hop! 17 00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:42,742 The health department requires you wear shoes. 18 00:00:43,045 --> 00:00:44,651 What a "coincidean." 19 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,086 You're throwing a dance the same day the CDC is confiscating 20 00:00:47,098 --> 00:00:48,755 our drinking fountains. - Well... 21 00:00:48,828 --> 00:00:50,500 Placating students with a fun event. 22 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,819 Classic bread and circuses. 23 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,711 In Ancient Rome, the emperor would distract the populace 24 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:56,552 from their problems by allocating money for free bread and circuses. 25 00:00:56,755 --> 00:00:59,455 I've been making a conscious effort to get away from filtering everything through TV. 26 00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,972 I figured it's time I showed some growth. It's been three and a half seasons... 27 00:01:02,004 --> 00:01:03,113 Is what the old me would have said. 28 00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:03,938 - Oh. - Aww. 29 00:01:03,955 --> 00:01:06,787 Anyhoo, it is a Sadie Hawkins dance, 30 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:10,031 which means girls ask the boys. - Oh, I love those! 31 00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:13,317 So, ladies, get out there and make yourselves useful. 32 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,322 So you're saying there's one day a year 33 00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:17,128 when women are free to choose their own mates. 34 00:01:17,147 --> 00:01:19,250 What is this, cave-person times? 35 00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:22,074 Well, I have already started on a Sadie Hawkins banner, 36 00:01:22,087 --> 00:01:23,918 so this thing is pretty much set in stone. 37 00:01:23,937 --> 00:01:25,629 Well, then maybe I'll throw my own dance, 38 00:01:25,648 --> 00:01:28,686 one that doesn't conform to your oppressive gender norms. 39 00:01:28,707 --> 00:01:30,012 Give me a break. 40 00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:34,067 You think a dance can just be thrown together Willy-nilly? 41 00:01:34,091 --> 00:01:36,011 You think I decide to just do 42 00:01:36,017 --> 00:01:38,482 a rain forest theme and buy palm fronds 43 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:39,676 and rig the sprinkler system to... 44 00:01:39,687 --> 00:01:41,081 Hold on, I gotta write this down. 45 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,778 4x08 Herstory of Dance 46 00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:10,905 So, Britta, you're gonna throw a protest dance? 47 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,299 Is that a thing? 48 00:02:12,337 --> 00:02:13,481 It is now. 49 00:02:13,494 --> 00:02:15,661 And instead of Sadie Hawkins, 50 00:02:15,729 --> 00:02:18,465 my dance will honor a real feminist icon, 51 00:02:18,497 --> 00:02:20,215 someone who worked for women's rights 52 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:24,402 every day of the year... Sophie B. Hawkins. 53 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,761 - Oh... - It wasn't really... 54 00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:29,339 You know what, Britta, you're right. 55 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,302 A Sophie B. Hawkins dance 56 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,922 is just what this school needs... 57 00:02:33,047 --> 00:02:34,189 Thanks, Jeff. 58 00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:38,323 To celebrate Sophie B. Hawkins and all her accomplishments. 59 00:02:38,354 --> 00:02:40,698 Jeez, Winger, who's throwing this dance, me or you? 60 00:02:40,723 --> 00:02:44,231 Um, Britta, I think you meant to say Susan B. Anthony, 61 00:02:44,259 --> 00:02:45,853 not Sophie B. Hawkins. 62 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,650 Britta for the whoops! 63 00:02:47,874 --> 00:02:49,651 Didn't you have a cat named Susan B. Anthony? 64 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:50,889 How did you manage to "Britta" that? 65 00:02:50,907 --> 00:02:53,836 I didn't "Britta" anything. I meant Sophie B. Hawkins. 66 00:02:53,867 --> 00:02:56,710 Really? Your plan was to throw a dance 67 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,749 honoring the singer of Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover? 68 00:02:59,774 --> 00:03:00,722 And As I Lay Me Down, 69 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,859 which in my opinion is the far superior song. 70 00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:04,159 - Ooh, that is a good song. - Yeah. 71 00:03:04,219 --> 00:03:05,623 Yes. 72 00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:09,049 I am throwing a Sophie B. Hawkins dance. 73 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,159 And it is gonna be amazing, 74 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,782 and when people come they're gonna be like, 75 00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:17,816 "damn! She straight 'Britta'd' this!" 76 00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:21,142 Because, that's right, I'm taking it back! 77 00:03:25,852 --> 00:03:27,540 You're really doing this? 78 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,785 Look, as someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years 79 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,576 I appreciate your commitment to the bit, 80 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:33,357 but just admit you were wrong. 81 00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:34,538 So you can say I "Britta'd" it? 82 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:36,565 Yes, of course. That goes without saying. 83 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,848 But come on, it was a small mistake. 84 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:42,116 Call this off before it becomes a full-scale "Brit-astrophe." 85 00:03:42,159 --> 00:03:43,537 - I coined that. - Jeff, 86 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,942 if you don't want to come to my dance 87 00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:47,027 you are free to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance, 88 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:50,726 which will be happening at the same time across the cafeteria. 89 00:03:51,059 --> 00:03:54,423 - Our school has limited venue options. - Oh, I wouldn't miss it. 90 00:03:54,827 --> 00:03:57,383 Oh, and one last thing... You do realize 91 00:03:57,401 --> 00:03:59,755 that if you call it a Sophie B. Hawkins dance 92 00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:03,605 people will expect Sophie B. Hawkins to actually be there, right? 93 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,054 Yes. 94 00:04:07,302 --> 00:04:09,996 And when she comes I'm gonna be like, 95 00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:13,163 "I will remember you doubting me." 96 00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:15,509 That's a Sarah Mclachlan song. 97 00:04:17,406 --> 00:04:20,625 So, Abed, I was thinking about what you said, 98 00:04:20,654 --> 00:04:22,814 about showing growth, and I was thinking 99 00:04:22,833 --> 00:04:25,797 maybe one way to do that is to meet new people and... 100 00:04:25,802 --> 00:04:27,460 - Where's this going? - Can I set you up with a date 101 00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:29,516 for the Sadie Hawkins day dance? - A blind date. 102 00:04:29,558 --> 00:04:31,834 I've always thought of myself as more of an acquired taste... but... 103 00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:32,817 Okay. 104 00:04:32,835 --> 00:04:34,278 Ooh, if you're open to meeting 105 00:04:34,296 --> 00:04:36,096 someone, there's a number of eligible young ladies 106 00:04:36,115 --> 00:04:37,571 in my church. - Shirley! 107 00:04:37,588 --> 00:04:39,545 I'm already finding a date for Abed. 108 00:04:39,594 --> 00:04:41,098 - I asked first. - There's no reason we can't 109 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,544 both help Abed find someone. Why don't we each pick a girl 110 00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:46,259 and then let Abed decide, instead of making it a competition. 111 00:04:46,338 --> 00:04:47,337 That's exactly a competition. 112 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,263 - So it is. - Only for the loser. 113 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:52,739 I need the computer. 114 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,757 Pierce, there are, like, dozens of computers. 115 00:04:54,776 --> 00:04:56,195 Yeah, but my email is on this one. 116 00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:58,815 - Pierce! - Jeez, what's up your butt? 117 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,443 I may have lied this morning about meeting Sophie B. Hawkins 118 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,363 because I didn't want Jeff to make fun of me, 119 00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:05,179 and then I may have lied to cover that lie, 120 00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:06,659 and now I'm in deep... 121 00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:08,142 lies. 122 00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:11,041 So what? So you told a lie, big deal. 123 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:13,836 The important thing is never to admit it. 124 00:05:13,861 --> 00:05:15,692 Actually, I was thinking about coming clean. 125 00:05:15,747 --> 00:05:17,558 And give Winger the satisfaction? 126 00:05:17,596 --> 00:05:19,041 Hell, no. 127 00:05:19,065 --> 00:05:21,690 Besides, anything could happen between now and that dance. 128 00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:23,184 An asteroid could hit. 129 00:05:23,217 --> 00:05:26,755 Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes just before the world ends? 130 00:05:26,983 --> 00:05:30,009 That kind of makes sense. Thank you. 131 00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:31,159 Damn right it makes sense. 132 00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:33,588 You're talking to the wisest man on campus. 133 00:05:33,864 --> 00:05:35,737 Now seriously, I need to get to my email. 134 00:05:35,755 --> 00:05:37,488 The post office is about to close. 135 00:05:37,813 --> 00:05:38,738 Pierce! 136 00:05:38,763 --> 00:05:41,577 Guys, check out my friend Britta's Sophie B. Hawkins dance. 137 00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:43,474 I'll be spinning the hits from yesterday and today, 138 00:05:43,499 --> 00:05:45,988 which are basically the same to me since I have Changnesia. 139 00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:47,090 That guy's like teflon. 140 00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:49,312 No matter how much awful stuff he does, he keep getting another chance. 141 00:05:49,337 --> 00:05:51,887 Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people. 142 00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:53,883 You want to help me with Britta's dance? 143 00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:56,021 Could be a chance for classic Troy and Abed hijinks. 144 00:05:56,046 --> 00:05:57,884 In the interest of growth I'm trying to avoid hijinks, 145 00:05:57,915 --> 00:05:59,916 as well as capers, romps, and exploits. 146 00:06:00,096 --> 00:06:01,788 Escapades are a gray area. 147 00:06:01,813 --> 00:06:04,386 Abed. This is Kat. 148 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,751 Hi, Kat. Nice to meet you. 149 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,334 She wants to ask you something. 150 00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:10,941 Isn't she perfect for Abed? 151 00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:12,892 She's like one of those quirky girls from the movies. 152 00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:16,278 I saw her in the cafeteria trying to pay for lunch with a song. 153 00:06:20,911 --> 00:06:22,740 I asked if you'd go to the Sadie Hawkins dance 154 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,731 with me into the balloon. 155 00:06:24,756 --> 00:06:25,940 Could you hear it? 156 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,478 Sure, I'd be happy to go with you. 157 00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:29,750 Super duper mister Cooper! 158 00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:35,060 Nice. 159 00:06:35,141 --> 00:06:37,435 So, you chose the girl I picked. 160 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:38,244 It's cool. 161 00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,342 Not like it was a competition or anything. 162 00:06:40,873 --> 00:06:44,006 Just be gentle when you tell Shirley that she was the loser. 163 00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:45,476 Or do you want me to tell her? 164 00:06:45,523 --> 00:06:47,357 It's cool. I'll handle it. 165 00:06:49,228 --> 00:06:50,750 So, was that girl an alien 166 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:52,847 or a toddler with a growing disease? 167 00:06:53,051 --> 00:06:54,535 Hello, Abed. 168 00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:56,215 I talked to a lovely girl at my church 169 00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:58,295 and she'd be happy to go to the dance with you. 170 00:06:58,314 --> 00:06:59,355 I appreciate it, Shirley, but I... 171 00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:00,856 I hope you will at least consider it, 172 00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:03,375 and not just because saying "no" would crush this poor girl, 173 00:07:03,426 --> 00:07:06,554 but because I don't want you to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. 174 00:07:07,049 --> 00:07:08,132 You're right. 175 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:09,347 I'd love to go to Britta's dance with her. 176 00:07:09,381 --> 00:07:11,382 Oh, goody! I'll set it up. 177 00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:14,573 Oh, I hope this doesn't hurt Annie's feelings. 178 00:07:14,592 --> 00:07:15,903 Maybe I should go tell her. 179 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,268 No need. I'll handle it. 180 00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:20,304 - Oh, okay. - Bye-bye. 181 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,076 At the risk of discovering I'm living two parallel lives 182 00:07:23,095 --> 00:07:24,181 like that guy in Awake, 183 00:07:24,206 --> 00:07:25,646 don't you already have a date to the dance? 184 00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:27,329 Yep. Now I have two, which means 185 00:07:27,350 --> 00:07:29,995 I can do the classic two dates in one night sitcom trope. 186 00:07:30,157 --> 00:07:31,902 I'll get to wear two outfits. Mix up their names. 187 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,033 - Maybe hide under a table. - What about growth? 188 00:07:34,051 --> 00:07:35,364 I tried to go in a more grounded direction, 189 00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:37,968 but I still ended up in a comically implausible situation. 190 00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:39,310 It's like Shirley said, 191 00:07:39,329 --> 00:07:41,685 it's a once in a lifetime opportunity for hijinks. 192 00:07:41,741 --> 00:07:42,713 I can't pass it up. 193 00:07:42,725 --> 00:07:44,950 It seems like you already passed up a great opportunity for hijinks. 194 00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:45,718 I did? 195 00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,452 Uh, duh doy! Britta's dance? 196 00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:48,976 You think two dates is crazy? 197 00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:52,505 Planning a dance is hijinks city, population hijinks. 198 00:07:52,714 --> 00:07:54,577 Troy, I need your help. 199 00:07:54,714 --> 00:07:56,760 Get some ice? 200 00:07:57,090 --> 00:08:00,459 Wacwacky ice. The ice will be wacky. 201 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,094 Thank you for the corsage. 202 00:08:10,129 --> 00:08:12,982 Oh, it matches your carnation. How cute. 203 00:08:13,012 --> 00:08:14,110 Oh, I'm glad you like it. 204 00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:15,879 I was afraid you'd think it was old-fashioned. 205 00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:19,760 I like old-fashioned. I find it refreshing. 206 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,669 Speaking of refreshing, I'm gonna get us some punch. 207 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,854 - Be right back. - Oh! 208 00:08:27,108 --> 00:08:28,517 Hi, I'm Kevin. 209 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,731 Apparently I'm your DJ tonight. 210 00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,759 Uh, I really don't know what I'm doing, so... 211 00:08:33,787 --> 00:08:36,319 If you have a request, please be specific. 212 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,357 I have Changnesia. 213 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,087 Can I help you? 214 00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:45,472 Oh, I just wanted to try on a different look. 215 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,076 I'm pretty indecisive, so I may be back here 216 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,309 a few times, if that's okay. 217 00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:49,969 - Mm-hmm. - Cool. 218 00:08:50,118 --> 00:08:52,400 I'm also gonna need to check this Gideon's Bible 219 00:08:52,651 --> 00:08:54,986 and this jelly bean kaleidoscope. 220 00:08:55,553 --> 00:08:57,195 - Icebreakers. - Mm. 221 00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:59,729 Hey, Britta. Where's Sophie B.? 222 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,674 Is she backstage drinking Zima and counting her beanie babies? 223 00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:04,427 Sorry, I can't divulge that. 224 00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:05,990 Stars and their privacy, you know. 225 00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:07,945 But she'll definitely be here? 226 00:09:07,996 --> 00:09:09,750 Oh, yeah. Sophie be coming. 227 00:09:09,775 --> 00:09:12,465 So it just be coincidence that somebody posted 228 00:09:12,483 --> 00:09:14,258 a craigslist ad an hour ago 229 00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:17,201 that says, "looking for Sophie B. Hawkins, 230 00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:19,689 "or convincing Sophie B. Hawkins impersonator 231 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:22,428 to play community college dance tonight. 232 00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:23,882 Very little money." 233 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,300 It's weird how in demand she is. 234 00:09:26,513 --> 00:09:28,675 Good thing we booked her early. 235 00:09:29,411 --> 00:09:31,463 Britta, we're running low on chips. 236 00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,313 Here's what I'm thinking. 237 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,865 I go over to the Sadie Hawkins dance 238 00:09:33,884 --> 00:09:35,973 as the snack inspector, doing random spot checks, 239 00:09:35,985 --> 00:09:37,385 and confiscate their chips. 240 00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:39,385 All I need is a disguise. 241 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:41,734 Or you could just go to the supply closet 242 00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:42,740 and get some more chips. 243 00:09:42,784 --> 00:09:45,844 Okay, but I-I still need to use the moustache probably. 244 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,224 Here, in lieu of flowers 245 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,243 I got you this. It's quirky. 246 00:09:53,389 --> 00:09:54,606 Thanks, guv'nor! 247 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,542 I'll just put it in me invisible sack. 248 00:09:59,124 --> 00:10:00,942 Okay, I'm gonna get us some punch. 249 00:10:04,907 --> 00:10:05,845 Hey! 250 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,673 How are things going with you and Jessica? 251 00:10:07,685 --> 00:10:10,318 Are you two— as they say on TV— making a connection? 252 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,989 Unless that means sex, in which case I hope you are not. 253 00:10:13,131 --> 00:10:14,077 Things are great. 254 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:16,123 Actually, Jessica did mention that she's cold. 255 00:10:16,161 --> 00:10:17,296 - Could she borrow your sweater? - Oh. 256 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,198 Maybe the purple one you wore last week. I didn't see you wear it home, 257 00:10:19,223 --> 00:10:20,779 so I think it's still in your locker next to your umbrella. 258 00:10:20,804 --> 00:10:22,942 - I guess I could check. - Could you? 259 00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:25,302 - That'd be great. - Okay. 260 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,963 Hey, roomie. 261 00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,045 What do you think of Kat? 262 00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:30,956 Did she tell you she plays the saw? 263 00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:32,730 I thought she was in an all-girl kazoo band? 264 00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:34,940 They need a rhythm section, duh. 265 00:10:34,997 --> 00:10:37,455 Well, keep me posted. I'm gonna go say hi to Britta. 266 00:10:37,543 --> 00:10:38,768 No, don't! 267 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,493 Because you have something in your teeth. 268 00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:41,388 A lot of somethings. 269 00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:43,188 I do? What is it? 270 00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:45,205 Ooh, I can't tell in this light. But it's definitely there. 271 00:10:45,224 --> 00:10:46,594 You should probably check it out in the bathroom. 272 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,947 Maybe the second floor one? Better light. 273 00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:49,630 I will. Thank you. 274 00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:51,784 You're a good friend. 275 00:11:00,773 --> 00:11:02,406 Hello, Jeffrey. 276 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,705 Are you enjoying the sock hop? 277 00:11:04,805 --> 00:11:07,316 A sock hop Britta has all but "Britta'd" 278 00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,295 by not "Britta-ing" her own dance. 279 00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:10,836 Well, the night is young. 280 00:11:10,861 --> 00:11:11,731 - Mm. - By the way, 281 00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:13,572 I'm surprised you let her share the cafeteria with you. 282 00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,942 Oh, I didn't want to. But once she guaranteed 283 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,137 the presence of a certain someone, I couldn't say no. 284 00:11:19,207 --> 00:11:21,438 I wouldn't get your hopes up for Sophie B... 285 00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:24,426 - Oh, it's me. - Shall we dance? Whoop. 286 00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,417 - Are you reading the Bible? - No spoilers. 287 00:11:28,442 --> 00:11:31,222 I'm really hoping that things turn around for this job guy. 288 00:11:31,997 --> 00:11:33,659 So, how do I look? 289 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,756 Good. Except you gotta lose the hat. 290 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,812 It doesn't go with the minister's daughter. 291 00:11:41,604 --> 00:11:42,580 You know what I'm doing. 292 00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,676 Yeah. You're on two dates at once. 293 00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:46,293 I've been watching you since you came in. 294 00:11:46,402 --> 00:11:47,988 I'm not good with faces. Is that a judgmental face 295 00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:50,429 or a happy face? - I think it's awesome. 296 00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:53,468 It's one of my favorite bits, like when a dog acts embarrassed, 297 00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:55,007 or when a guy chases after the girl 298 00:11:55,019 --> 00:11:57,176 and then does that big public declaration of love. 299 00:11:57,345 --> 00:11:59,795 It's not realistic. It's taking something private and turning it into a performance. 300 00:11:59,813 --> 00:12:01,058 Well, I think the dog's trained. 301 00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:03,395 No, I was talking about the public declaration of love... 302 00:12:03,945 --> 00:12:06,721 - Oh, you're messing with me. - Yes, I was. 303 00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:09,888 So this thing's turning out to be a little tougher than I thought. You wanna help? 304 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,719 I'd like to, but I've still got like 305 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,064 1,200 pages left of this Bible. Yes, of course I would. 306 00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:15,770 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 307 00:12:15,846 --> 00:12:17,160 Tonight's Sadie Hawkins dance 308 00:12:17,179 --> 00:12:19,890 is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes. 309 00:12:19,942 --> 00:12:22,377 For the little lady who knows her place in the kitchen. 310 00:12:22,481 --> 00:12:24,954 And tonight's Sophie B. Hawkins dance 311 00:12:24,973 --> 00:12:27,675 is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes. 312 00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:30,703 Perfect for cleaning the dashboard of your '92 Subaru. 313 00:12:32,331 --> 00:12:35,719 Ah, quite a turnout, Britta. 314 00:12:35,786 --> 00:12:39,166 Yep. Didn't know Sophie B. Hawkins was so big at Greendale. 315 00:12:39,185 --> 00:12:41,986 Oh, yeah. A large percentage of Greendale 316 00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:44,582 students sort of gave up in the mid '90s, 317 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,833 so for many of them 318 00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:48,705 Sophie B. Hawkins is the most recent music they're aware of. 319 00:12:48,717 --> 00:12:52,582 I mean, her coming here is gonna be a huge boost to their spirits. 320 00:12:52,613 --> 00:12:53,495 Great. 321 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:56,358 Whereas, her not showing up 322 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,948 would be enough to push these people 323 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,861 to such a dark place and really question 324 00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:04,377 whether life is worth living at all. 325 00:13:05,135 --> 00:13:07,450 Okay, bye-bye. 326 00:13:08,102 --> 00:13:10,974 So, how long have you been doing Bible studies? 327 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,305 I mean, making miniature hats out of duct tape? 328 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,897 - Oh, duct tape hat... - Oh! 329 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:19,235 Ah! 330 00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:20,976 So you've never seen any of the Star Wars movies? 331 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,844 We were taught popular films were the work of the devil. 332 00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:24,413 Well, if you're talking about the Phantom Menace, 333 00:13:24,425 --> 00:13:26,013 you were taught right. 334 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,334 - Telegram. - Ooh, yeah, it's urgent. 335 00:13:29,382 --> 00:13:30,869 Be right back. 336 00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:34,721 Pierce, Sophie B. Hawkins isn't coming. 337 00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:36,113 Everyone's gonna know I'm a liar. 338 00:13:36,138 --> 00:13:38,416 - Help me. - Oh, Britta. 339 00:13:38,498 --> 00:13:40,250 Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine 340 00:13:40,268 --> 00:13:41,922 that everyone called a liar. 341 00:13:42,096 --> 00:13:43,596 His name was Bernie Madoff. 342 00:13:43,638 --> 00:13:45,230 Pierce! He was a liar. 343 00:13:45,254 --> 00:13:47,927 He stole billions of dollars from his clients. 344 00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:50,735 Has this been confirmed? 345 00:13:50,984 --> 00:13:54,123 Oh, my God. I "Britta'd" it. 346 00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:58,098 Bernie? 347 00:13:58,895 --> 00:14:01,948 - Oh, hi, Shirley. - Hello, Annie. 348 00:14:02,044 --> 00:14:05,497 Abed seems to be having a good time, which is all that matters. 349 00:14:05,515 --> 00:14:06,699 You're right. 350 00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:08,458 Looks like he made the right choice. 351 00:14:08,477 --> 00:14:10,177 He certainly did. 352 00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:12,727 So, we agree. The best woman won. 353 00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:15,182 She certainly did. 354 00:14:15,903 --> 00:14:17,353 He's on two dates, isn't he? 355 00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:19,693 He certainly is. 356 00:14:20,664 --> 00:14:23,462 This is the most fun I've ever had on a work study gig. 357 00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:25,085 And I used to run the frozen yogurt machine 358 00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:26,547 before that old guy broke it. 359 00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:27,600 There's been so many close calls. 360 00:14:27,612 --> 00:14:29,406 I keep forgetting details, using the wrong names, 361 00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:31,851 - having to duck behind plants. - Aah! 362 00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:33,113 This night has been perfect. 363 00:14:33,142 --> 00:14:34,739 Oh, what else is on the list? 364 00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:37,157 Oh! - Sorry. 365 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:46,009 If this were a movie, this would be the part where we kiss. 366 00:14:46,781 --> 00:14:47,913 You're right. 367 00:14:48,157 --> 00:14:50,921 Except we're doing a sitcom trope, so it'd be totally out of place. 368 00:14:50,947 --> 00:14:53,385 Time to go get caught and make an impassioned plea to the girl I really like. 369 00:14:53,404 --> 00:14:54,454 I think I'm gonna go with Jessica. 370 00:14:54,472 --> 00:14:55,641 She seems to be the audience favorite. 371 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,531 Okay, bye. 372 00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:05,741 Uh-oh. 373 00:15:05,753 --> 00:15:07,622 Did you really think you'd get away with this? 374 00:15:07,647 --> 00:15:09,619 - Let me explain. - What about wanting to grow? 375 00:15:09,644 --> 00:15:13,763 Or was that just a lie so you could do another world-famous Abed TV adventure? 376 00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,344 These are real people you're messing with. 377 00:15:15,376 --> 00:15:17,873 Kat is over there hula-hooping all by herself. 378 00:15:17,912 --> 00:15:21,618 Abed, in the real world people can actually get hurt. 379 00:15:23,969 --> 00:15:28,500 Oh, this is great. So, I got a request for, 380 00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:31,048 "You suck at this. Get off the stage." 381 00:15:31,079 --> 00:15:33,213 Okay, I don't know if that's the band or the song. 382 00:15:33,277 --> 00:15:36,702 Again, apologies. Changnesia. 383 00:15:36,981 --> 00:15:38,726 Well, it blew up in my face, 384 00:15:38,764 --> 00:15:41,150 in a slightly different way than I planned. 385 00:15:41,594 --> 00:15:44,024 - Can I help you? - Where's Rachel? 386 00:15:44,055 --> 00:15:45,946 - She said she had to go. - Where? 387 00:15:45,973 --> 00:15:47,491 I don't know. She seemed upset. 388 00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:49,213 She ran out of here without tagging half this stuff. 389 00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:50,996 I mean, whose water wings are these? 390 00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:53,587 Come back here! 391 00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:55,526 Never mind. 392 00:16:05,152 --> 00:16:06,153 Sorry. 393 00:16:06,184 --> 00:16:07,539 I did mean what I said about growth. 394 00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:10,751 But then you were both so intent on getting me dates, I couldn't help myself. 395 00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:12,541 It was wrong, and hurtful. 396 00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:13,679 I see that now. 397 00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:16,677 Well, maybe setting you up was a bad idea. 398 00:16:16,849 --> 00:16:19,849 Yeah, I guess neither of our girls were really right for you. 399 00:16:19,919 --> 00:16:22,785 The worst part is that I met a girl tonight that I really do like. 400 00:16:22,806 --> 00:16:25,487 But I was so busy chasing one trope, I missed the trope right under my nose... 401 00:16:25,531 --> 00:16:27,950 That the girl I liked all along was under my nose. 402 00:16:28,212 --> 00:16:30,412 And now I've screwed things up. I don't know if I can make them right. 403 00:16:30,443 --> 00:16:31,294 Aww. 404 00:16:31,312 --> 00:16:33,222 Wait. This one's real, right? 405 00:16:33,239 --> 00:16:34,056 Yeah, I'm really sad. 406 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,319 Aww. 407 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,455 Well, go find her, dummy. 408 00:16:37,503 --> 00:16:39,630 Yeah, haven't you ever seen a movie? 409 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:44,107 Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! 410 00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:46,507 Sophie. Sophie. Sophie. 411 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,555 I hate to say I told you so, 412 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:50,426 but I'm gonna say it to Britta's face. 413 00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:53,179 Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! 414 00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,038 What is the nature of hope? 415 00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:56,972 Sophie's not coming, guys. 416 00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:01,372 Boo! Boo! 417 00:17:01,397 --> 00:17:03,132 Looks like someone underestimated 418 00:17:03,151 --> 00:17:05,156 the time it takes to plan a dance. 419 00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:08,984 Hey, hey, hey! It's Sophie B. Hawkins! 420 00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:23,159 Good evening! I'm Sophie B. Hawkins. 421 00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:25,040 I think you know this one. 422 00:17:25,349 --> 00:17:27,387 Oh, man. 423 00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:40,785 Did you do this? 424 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,769 If it's possible to make something happen 425 00:17:42,781 --> 00:17:45,322 by willing it, then, yes, I did. 426 00:18:09,015 --> 00:18:10,499 Pardon me, Sophie. 427 00:18:10,545 --> 00:18:12,945 I have something to say. 428 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:17,801 There was a girl here tonight. Her name was Rachel. 429 00:18:18,423 --> 00:18:20,024 I met her, and it was very pleasant. 430 00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,634 And I made a mistake. 431 00:18:24,796 --> 00:18:27,365 And now I'd very much like to continue this conversation in private. 432 00:18:27,838 --> 00:18:30,100 Wow, viva lost love. 433 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,504 - You came back. - That was pretty embarrassing. 434 00:18:42,529 --> 00:18:44,518 - I had to... - Hmm. 435 00:18:44,562 --> 00:18:46,991 It was. But I'm glad I did it. 436 00:18:47,009 --> 00:18:49,468 So, would you like to go out sometime? 437 00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:50,745 I would like that. 438 00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:53,102 Do you want to pretend like you're just going out with me on a bet? 439 00:18:53,127 --> 00:18:54,765 - Oh, I'd like that very much. - Mm-hmm. 440 00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:56,321 But maybe we should try normal first. 441 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,281 - Sure. - Oh! 442 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,951 - I prefer As I Lay Me Down. - Me too. 443 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,180 I can't believe she pulled this off. 444 00:19:08,198 --> 00:19:09,298 I know. 445 00:19:09,332 --> 00:19:11,960 According to dean law, I must now give her my amulet. 446 00:19:12,463 --> 00:19:14,333 - What? - Hmm? 447 00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:18,332 Well, she had a little help from a wise old man 448 00:19:18,364 --> 00:19:20,520 who was the official supplier of moist towelettes 449 00:19:20,544 --> 00:19:23,930 to the lilith fair between 1997 and 1999. 450 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,930 I knew it. You're safe. 451 00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:29,808 You did this? But why? 452 00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:32,529 Because, in the face of all logic and reason, 453 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:35,551 Britta didn't back down. That makes no sense. 454 00:19:35,563 --> 00:19:37,868 Also, I didn't like the way you were being such a jerk to her. 455 00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:38,878 Well, she was acting crazy. 456 00:19:38,897 --> 00:19:40,750 Yeah, but what choice did she have? 457 00:19:40,787 --> 00:19:44,039 You make fun of her, you use her name as a synonym for screwing up. 458 00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:46,143 Cut her some slack, Jeff. 459 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,491 She helped you reconcile with your dad. 460 00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:51,347 For Pete's sake, let her be happy. 461 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,064 "I know it's probably impossible to read my texts 462 00:20:09,089 --> 00:20:11,800 "without them sounding sarcastic, but... 463 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:15,068 I assure you, "this one is as earnest as they come. 464 00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:18,075 "Congratulations on an awesome dance. 465 00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,742 You Britta'd the hell out of this thing." 466 00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:52,773 Can you do one where you wish you had ice cream? 467 00:20:55,757 --> 00:20:57,208 That's so good. 468 00:20:57,233 --> 00:21:00,074 Okay, can you do one where you wish I was Batman? 469 00:21:00,117 --> 00:21:02,711 Fine. But this is the last one. 470 00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:07,782 - I love you so much! - That is so good! 471 00:21:07,806 --> 00:21:10,578 Alright, alright. You guys are taking advantage of Mrs. Sophie Hawkins. 472 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,498 - But... I was gonna... - No. But you nothing. She's an artist. 473 00:21:13,535 --> 00:21:16,032 She's not here to do your bidding. 474 00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:17,446 Sorry about that. 475 00:21:17,489 --> 00:21:20,578 Now if you could just sing, "Dean I Wish I Was Your Lover" 476 00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:23,173 with these new lyrics. It's for my voicemail. 477 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,596 - Who's Jeff Winger? - Just sing the damn song! 478 00:21:25,621 --> 00:21:30,892 Norther