1 00:00:01,983 --> 00:00:03,716 Hmm. 2 00:00:04,124 --> 00:00:05,648 Shirley, did you ever date Roger Ebert? 3 00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:07,329 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 4 00:00:08,135 --> 00:00:09,592 Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet 5 00:00:09,611 --> 00:00:12,927 and post them on the Internet for money? - Sha-ha! No. 6 00:00:13,089 --> 00:00:15,120 Guys, this history final is going to be killer. 7 00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:16,711 We have to study. 8 00:00:16,728 --> 00:00:19,736 It's no fair Professor Cornwallis turned all hard-assed again. 9 00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:20,870 Lucky Pierce. 10 00:00:20,899 --> 00:00:23,184 Donating his kidney to Gilbert to get out of it. 11 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,000 I never thought he'd be that generous. 12 00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:27,426 Although, he did seem disappointed that the operation didn't involve 13 00:00:27,457 --> 00:00:29,902 sleeping with a Russian woman, then waking up in a bathtub full of ice. 14 00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:30,946 - Hmm. - Guys! - Hmm? 15 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,887 - History! - I am studying history. 16 00:00:33,014 --> 00:00:34,895 - I'm studying our history. - Abed! 17 00:00:34,914 --> 00:00:36,371 Nobody bite. 18 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,893 We agreed no biting. 19 00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:39,213 But, Jeff, it's a graduation gift. 20 00:00:39,238 --> 00:00:40,967 You see, on the surface we seem like just a group of people 21 00:00:40,984 --> 00:00:42,964 from diverse backgrounds who have become unlikely friends. 22 00:00:42,988 --> 00:00:44,795 But according to my research, 23 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,386 our paths have crossed many times. 24 00:00:46,438 --> 00:00:49,064 We were destined to meet. Like a team of superheroes. 25 00:00:49,113 --> 00:00:50,558 This 26 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:53,803 - is our origin story. - And here... we... go. 27 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,753 Abed, we don't have origin stories. 28 00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:56,974 We have lives. 29 00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:58,979 Well, at least— 30 00:01:00,848 --> 00:01:02,399 yep, just me. 31 00:01:02,427 --> 00:01:05,811 So you're saying we're all connected like the classic French film trilogy 32 00:01:05,823 --> 00:01:07,649 Bleu, Blanc, Rouge? 33 00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:09,020 No, like something more accessible. 34 00:01:09,045 --> 00:01:10,309 - Like Unbreakable. - Wow. 35 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,251 Abed, I know it's disappointing to you, 36 00:01:12,263 --> 00:01:13,326 but we're not superheroes. 37 00:01:13,351 --> 00:01:16,132 This is the real world, not some comic book adventure. 38 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,454 I've done it. I've infiltrated the school. 39 00:01:19,473 --> 00:01:21,073 I've learned its secrets. 40 00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:23,154 I've gained everyone's trust. 41 00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:26,580 And now, on the anniversary of my empire's destruction, 42 00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,097 vengeance will be mine. 43 00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:31,584 No, vengeance will be ours. 44 00:01:31,729 --> 00:01:34,557 Okay, can you stop that? It really creeps me out. 45 00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:37,831 I'm sorry. Just really love this thing. 46 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,557 Skymall. 47 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:07,449 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 48 00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:09,470 I've been doing exhaustive research into our lives. 49 00:02:09,499 --> 00:02:11,010 Once I find the last one or two missing pieces, 50 00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:13,751 I'll have conclusive proof that we were all destined to meet. 51 00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:15,501 This is how we're all connected. 52 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,126 I call it the crazy quilt of destiny 53 00:02:17,154 --> 00:02:18,973 mainly because the loom of fate was already taken. 54 00:02:18,991 --> 00:02:20,023 - Really? - Look. 55 00:02:20,042 --> 00:02:21,612 I don't care what tricks or nonsense you have 56 00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:23,281 in your scrapbook, Martha Stewart, 57 00:02:23,315 --> 00:02:24,841 but there's no way you're gonna get me to believe 58 00:02:24,859 --> 00:02:27,209 there's some outside force controlling my destiny. 59 00:02:27,221 --> 00:02:29,175 And I think you used that particular phrasing 60 00:02:29,181 --> 00:02:30,805 because I know you've seen Star Wars. 61 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,092 Everybody's seen Star Wars. 62 00:02:33,117 --> 00:02:35,423 Yes, but you first saw it when it was re-released in 1982 63 00:02:35,441 --> 00:02:37,523 at the Greendale Palladium at 4:15 in the afternoon. 64 00:02:37,554 --> 00:02:39,292 And it was the best time you ever had with your father. 65 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,041 How did you know that? 66 00:02:41,115 --> 00:02:42,752 You keep this ticket stub in your wallet. 67 00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:44,554 Abed, you can't— 68 00:02:44,734 --> 00:02:46,904 - Give it back! - Whoa! 69 00:02:46,938 --> 00:02:49,776 Our story begins in the distant mists of a lost era: 70 00:02:49,857 --> 00:02:52,475 2008. 71 00:02:54,168 --> 00:02:56,358 I know you're all wondering how I do it. 72 00:02:56,397 --> 00:03:00,172 How do I balance straight As, extracurriculars, 73 00:03:00,198 --> 00:03:03,105 and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night? 74 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,857 It's a simple matter of 75 00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:08,125 organization, 76 00:03:08,469 --> 00:03:12,283 dedication, and... 77 00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:20,673 And we're back! 78 00:03:20,698 --> 00:03:22,917 Then I drink your milkshake. 79 00:03:24,285 --> 00:03:26,818 Ah, that will never get old. 80 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,527 You guys gotta see my Juno. 81 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:29,825 Hey, Troy. 82 00:03:29,856 --> 00:03:32,072 So I heard you weren't doing that great in algebra, 83 00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:35,041 and you know, if you need a tutor for math, 84 00:03:35,059 --> 00:03:36,358 I'd be happy to help. 85 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:38,303 I'm being recruited by colleges to play football. 86 00:03:38,327 --> 00:03:40,109 - Oh. - I don't have time for math. 87 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,489 The only thing that matters to me are statistics. 88 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,252 Ooh! 89 00:03:43,277 --> 00:03:45,794 Uh, that's also a type of math. 90 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,263 But we already knew I went to high school with Troy, 91 00:03:49,275 --> 00:03:51,522 and it's not like he even remembered I existed. 92 00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:53,130 Yeah, I don't remember her at all. 93 00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:54,412 We should probably drop this. 94 00:03:54,459 --> 00:03:56,080 Wait, where's Pierce on this chart? 95 00:03:56,106 --> 00:03:57,856 His contribution to the group has already been noted. 96 00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,648 Pierce Hawthorne. Fixture at Greendale. 97 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:00,679 Unavoidable. 98 00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:02,497 - Hey, is that a sad face? - I wouldn't know. 99 00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:04,521 You have to look deeper. Here. Take this, for example. 100 00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:06,877 It's a receipt I found in the back of Shirley's sock drawer on Thanksgiving. 101 00:04:06,887 --> 00:04:08,925 You went in my bedroom for some comic book thing? 102 00:04:08,954 --> 00:04:11,198 Oh, no, my feet were cold. Ah, here. 103 00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:12,598 - You should probably wash those. - Oh. 104 00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:13,913 Discovering the receipt was dumb luck, 105 00:04:13,918 --> 00:04:17,046 but it proves that we were at the mall on the exact same day. 106 00:04:17,318 --> 00:04:19,718 Shirley, do remember what you bought for $54 at the Love Hut? 107 00:04:19,736 --> 00:04:21,348 What? Hmm? No. 108 00:04:22,097 --> 00:04:25,081 So excited about tonight, honey. 109 00:04:25,155 --> 00:04:26,438 Uh-huh. It's been too long 110 00:04:26,462 --> 00:04:29,888 since we had adult time without the kids. 111 00:04:30,426 --> 00:04:31,319 Oh! 112 00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:35,171 Well, I may have an anniversary surprise for you too. 113 00:04:35,259 --> 00:04:37,010 Well, I'm in public, but, uh... 114 00:04:37,031 --> 00:04:38,169 you know you gonna get it, right? 115 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:40,953 You gonna get it! 116 00:04:43,521 --> 00:04:46,148 So we were at the mall on the same day. 117 00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:48,192 Unbreakable. 118 00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:50,688 Mail call. 119 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:53,131 That's all right. Won't be needing it today. 120 00:04:53,155 --> 00:04:55,093 But Kevin always takes the mail. 121 00:04:55,111 --> 00:04:56,946 Well, today's mail's kind of important. 122 00:04:56,975 --> 00:04:59,443 It's the day that I send in Greendale's lease renewal. 123 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,296 - Lease re-new-al? - It's a critical document. 124 00:05:02,309 --> 00:05:05,118 See, Greendale sublets our land from the Arapaho nation. 125 00:05:05,142 --> 00:05:05,849 Ah. 126 00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:08,576 Miss a renewal and faster than you can say "wounded knee," 127 00:05:08,603 --> 00:05:12,311 we turn into a casino and midsize concert venue. 128 00:05:12,463 --> 00:05:14,965 So you only trust me with busywork? 129 00:05:15,229 --> 00:05:17,711 Oh, no, that's not— 130 00:05:18,738 --> 00:05:20,319 Kevin, ah— 131 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:23,335 I cannot resist those puppy dog eyes. 132 00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:24,658 Here. 133 00:05:24,942 --> 00:05:27,010 Ah! Now, I have time to hit the seamstress. 134 00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:34,751 Guess all I have to say is "Ladies and gentlemen, 135 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:38,687 Greendale Resort and Casino presents Steve Winwood." 136 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:40,645 Okay, I just need to find the one last smoking gun, 137 00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:41,933 and I think this might be it. 138 00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,291 I found it in a copy of the Greendale communist worker. 139 00:05:44,342 --> 00:05:45,673 Look familiar? 140 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,144 Oh, my God. 141 00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:50,713 This is me and my anarchist collective at the courthouse. 142 00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,647 We called ourselves the An-her-chists. 143 00:05:53,981 --> 00:05:55,393 Did you guys know that Jeff's in that photo? 144 00:05:55,406 --> 00:05:56,831 What! 145 00:05:57,736 --> 00:05:59,199 Jeff. My man. 146 00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,649 Congrats on getting your case thrown out. 147 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,411 Your argument was a masterpiece. 148 00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:04,348 I mean, it was definitely creative. 149 00:06:04,376 --> 00:06:05,321 Creative? 150 00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:09,201 He convinced a judge to forgive five years back taxes by getting him to agree 151 00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:11,810 that you humping an American flag to Back In Black 152 00:06:11,828 --> 00:06:15,891 was not stripping but actually not-for-profit performance art. 153 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,395 Ch-chk... Boom! 154 00:06:17,426 --> 00:06:18,251 Blew me away. 155 00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:19,389 Come on, let's go! 156 00:06:19,414 --> 00:06:20,345 Thank you. 157 00:06:20,357 --> 00:06:22,231 Thank you for defending a woman's right 158 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:24,524 to use her body however she chooses. 159 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:28,055 I can honestly say that right is very important to me. 160 00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:29,298 Aw! 161 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,859 Excuse me, Mr. Winger, can we get a— 162 00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:32,141 - You're a hero. - Hi. 163 00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:33,283 Hi. 164 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:34,239 Guys! 165 00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:36,642 We have got to capitalize on this momentum. 166 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:40,592 It is time An-her-chists finally takes a stand on animals rights. 167 00:06:40,622 --> 00:06:43,414 There is a medical lab in an office building nearby. 168 00:06:43,432 --> 00:06:44,739 Next week, I say we break in there— 169 00:06:44,756 --> 00:06:47,087 Actually, we were thinking this is our last hurrah. 170 00:06:47,131 --> 00:06:48,817 But this was our first hurrah. 171 00:06:48,829 --> 00:06:50,959 - We're just getting going. - Britta, we're done. 172 00:06:50,988 --> 00:06:53,679 I had a hamburger the other day, and suddenly I'm not cold all the time. 173 00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:57,290 Fine. Go. I don't need you. 174 00:06:58,344 --> 00:07:01,955 What's an anarchist to do without her organization? 175 00:07:03,352 --> 00:07:05,863 Jeffrey, how could you? 176 00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:07,555 Well, I was a really good lawyer. 177 00:07:07,579 --> 00:07:10,027 Mysti is the stripper that Andre cheated on me with, 178 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,736 and you defended her. 179 00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:13,474 Shirley, I— 180 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,541 If you hadn't gotten that homewrecker off, 181 00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:17,529 Andre never would've met her. 182 00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,285 Jeff ends Shirley's marriage. 183 00:07:20,298 --> 00:07:22,583 See? I told you we were always destined to meet. 184 00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:23,541 Hmm. 185 00:07:25,564 --> 00:07:27,044 I knew Jeff went to the same rec center, 186 00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:28,709 but I had no idea their paths crossed again. 187 00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:30,170 This is good. This is really great. 188 00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:31,556 We're really filling in some plot holes here. 189 00:07:31,575 --> 00:07:33,372 This is good stuff. It's really good. 190 00:07:33,589 --> 00:07:35,861 - Have I missed something? - These aren't plot holes, Abed. 191 00:07:35,891 --> 00:07:36,867 This is my life. 192 00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:39,402 But this kinda connection only makes our origin story more compelling. 193 00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:41,582 Like how awesome it is when Uncle Ben is murdered in Spider-Man. 194 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,607 - Hmm. - My marriage almost ended. 195 00:07:43,659 --> 00:07:46,017 If it weren't for Jeff, that Jezebel would've been in jail 196 00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:47,864 instead of between my Laura Ashley sheets. 197 00:07:47,892 --> 00:07:50,176 Hey, this is not my fault. 198 00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:52,911 And by the way, the case didn't work out too great for me either. 199 00:07:52,943 --> 00:07:54,761 It was supposed to make my career, 200 00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:56,670 but it put a target on my back. 201 00:08:00,649 --> 00:08:02,505 Michael Phelps, really? 202 00:08:02,538 --> 00:08:03,826 And it doesn't affect his breathing? 203 00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:04,808 Nope. 204 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,692 Mysti, can I talk to Jeff for a moment? 205 00:08:07,757 --> 00:08:11,046 I will go, uh, powder my nose. 206 00:08:11,779 --> 00:08:13,638 For real. 207 00:08:14,476 --> 00:08:15,371 Listen. 208 00:08:15,389 --> 00:08:17,193 There's this rumor going around the firm 209 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,538 that you never received an undergraduate degree. 210 00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:21,976 - That's ridiculous. - I know. 211 00:08:21,994 --> 00:08:25,221 I mean, some jag is obviously jealous of your rising star. 212 00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:27,109 But the fact is, until this is settled, 213 00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:29,560 the bar isn't gonna let you practice. 214 00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:34,238 So you got caught in your own lie? 215 00:08:34,256 --> 00:08:35,665 I almost lost my family. 216 00:08:35,684 --> 00:08:37,270 How does your little tragedy even compare? 217 00:08:37,282 --> 00:08:39,497 Because I had to go to school here. 218 00:08:39,515 --> 00:08:41,084 Abed, do not write that down. 219 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,161 It's not like I made Andre cheat. 220 00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:45,897 Well, I happen to think it's cool that we're all connected, 221 00:08:45,913 --> 00:08:47,652 even if some of it's in bad ways. 222 00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:50,675 I mean, I'm finally willing to forgive Annie for ruining high school. 223 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:53,238 Wait, I ruined your time in high school? 224 00:08:53,278 --> 00:08:55,613 Yeah, you did. 225 00:08:57,476 --> 00:08:59,410 - You guys doing keg stands? - Yeah! 226 00:08:59,569 --> 00:09:01,576 Anyone can do a keg stand. 227 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,892 I'm gonna do a keg flip. 228 00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:04,787 Hey, everybody, look at this. 229 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:09,432 Troy! Troy! Troy! 230 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,085 Ah! 231 00:09:11,122 --> 00:09:12,176 Oh! 232 00:09:12,223 --> 00:09:15,123 Oh, my football knee! Why! 233 00:09:15,148 --> 00:09:16,115 Can I have some corn nuts? 234 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:20,439 Wah! No! Nooooo! 235 00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,596 That had nothing to do with me. 236 00:09:23,614 --> 00:09:25,725 And you already admitted that you faked that injury 237 00:09:25,743 --> 00:09:28,393 because you couldn't take the pressure of those football recruiters. 238 00:09:28,436 --> 00:09:30,754 I faked my injury because of what you said to me. 239 00:09:30,776 --> 00:09:32,320 Because of what I said? 240 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,564 You didn't even remember that I went to school with you. 241 00:09:34,584 --> 00:09:36,891 I may have lied about that too. 242 00:09:40,294 --> 00:09:42,794 Hey, guys, it's time to do senior class superlatives! 243 00:09:45,422 --> 00:09:48,863 Okay, the first award is "Most Handsome." 244 00:09:48,906 --> 00:09:50,574 And the winner is... 245 00:09:50,831 --> 00:09:53,767 - Troy Barnes. - Of course it is. 246 00:09:53,779 --> 00:09:55,402 "Most Popular." 247 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:56,730 Troy Barnes. 248 00:09:56,755 --> 00:09:59,533 No! You guys are awesome. 249 00:09:59,591 --> 00:10:00,858 "Best Smile." 250 00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:03,430 Ha ha, gotta keep 'em white. 251 00:10:03,539 --> 00:10:07,271 "Best Moves." "Best Practical Joker." 252 00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:08,861 "Coolest Locker." 253 00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,193 And now, the last award of the night. 254 00:10:11,224 --> 00:10:13,576 "Most Likely to Succeed." 255 00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:15,254 Okay, this has to go to me, 256 00:10:15,273 --> 00:10:17,007 because I am most likely to succeed. 257 00:10:17,026 --> 00:10:18,559 It's just a fact. You guys know. 258 00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,380 And the winner is... 259 00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:22,307 Troy Barnes. 260 00:10:27,573 --> 00:10:29,487 You have got to be kidding me! 261 00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:32,743 Troy Barnes, most likely to succeed? 262 00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:36,341 I'm the damn Valedictorian and head of student council 263 00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:38,836 and president of campus crusade for Christ. 264 00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,553 And I'm Jewish! 265 00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,658 And you are just some mindless robot. 266 00:10:43,683 --> 00:10:46,544 You just go wherever they tell you to run. 267 00:10:46,885 --> 00:10:48,758 I'm sorry. 268 00:10:49,263 --> 00:10:50,938 Do you go to my school? 269 00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:53,986 Oh! 270 00:10:55,020 --> 00:11:01,094 Do you want subtitles for any video? 271 00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:03,987 Pop! Pop! 272 00:11:05,085 --> 00:11:08,970 Your words cut me more than hundreds of non-tempered glass shards could. 273 00:11:09,045 --> 00:11:12,414 I had six different reconstructive surgeries. 274 00:11:12,504 --> 00:11:14,054 I went through withdrawal. 275 00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:17,203 I had to smile when I didn't feel like smiling. 276 00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,397 That hurts my face. 277 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,591 Can we all just stop dredging up the past? 278 00:11:20,609 --> 00:11:22,567 The only thing your fate web thing does 279 00:11:22,592 --> 00:11:25,239 is point out how fragile our happiness is. 280 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:27,328 If only Jeff hadn't defended that woman, 281 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,573 if only Andre hadn't met her after I left the restaurant, 282 00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:31,570 if only I didn't have to pick up my kids at the mall, I— 283 00:11:31,587 --> 00:11:32,820 Wait. 284 00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:35,662 When? Which mall? 285 00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,166 Oh, my God. 286 00:11:40,398 --> 00:11:42,082 Oh, my God. 287 00:11:44,647 --> 00:11:46,406 Hey, what movie you guys gonna see? 288 00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:48,456 The Phantom Menace. It's kind of old. 289 00:11:49,222 --> 00:11:51,579 - And why do you wanna see it? - Because we like Star Wars. 290 00:11:51,605 --> 00:11:54,797 Okay, if you like Star Wars, why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave? 291 00:11:54,842 --> 00:11:55,891 The prequels are terrible. 292 00:11:55,908 --> 00:11:57,753 I mean, seriously, wouldn't Chewbacca, at some point, go, 293 00:11:57,791 --> 00:11:59,566 "Hey, Yoda, I know that guy"? 294 00:11:59,637 --> 00:12:01,012 He has double light sabers. 295 00:12:01,048 --> 00:12:02,767 That's stupid. You're both stupid. 296 00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:04,881 Well, why are you here to see the movie? 297 00:12:04,909 --> 00:12:05,884 I'm not. 298 00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:08,407 I go wherever it plays to warn people. 299 00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:09,756 You've been warned. 300 00:12:12,907 --> 00:12:15,306 Stranger said what to you? 301 00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:18,127 Okay, fine. I'll come get you. 302 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,657 I'm sorry, baby, I'll be back as soon as I can. 303 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,492 Okay, just stand there, okay? 304 00:12:23,938 --> 00:12:25,625 This can't be. 305 00:12:26,285 --> 00:12:27,985 I don't see why I have to go to a therapist. 306 00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:30,193 Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours, 307 00:12:30,212 --> 00:12:33,282 the theater got a restraining order against you. 308 00:12:33,392 --> 00:12:34,960 Yalla. 309 00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:37,810 Hey, doc. By the way, 310 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,094 someone just stole your prescription pad. 311 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:44,647 I'm trying to liberate you! 312 00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,394 Ow! 313 00:12:47,435 --> 00:12:49,457 You're the crazy man at the mall! 314 00:12:49,498 --> 00:12:51,817 You're the one who got me busted for drugs! 315 00:12:51,868 --> 00:12:54,937 You were out there somewhere and you weren't looking for me? 316 00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:56,225 In fairness, Annie, 317 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:58,869 running through a glass door might've been the drug tip-off. 318 00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:02,411 All this time, I wondered what it was that brought our group together. 319 00:13:02,672 --> 00:13:04,621 But I forgot one thing all heroes need. 320 00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:05,781 They need an enemy. 321 00:13:05,812 --> 00:13:08,612 Batman has the Joker, the Justice League has the Legion of Doom, 322 00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:10,482 and this study group... 323 00:13:10,544 --> 00:13:12,050 has me. 324 00:13:12,076 --> 00:13:14,151 I'm the supervillain. Why didn't I see it before? 325 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,200 I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everybody else. 326 00:13:16,231 --> 00:13:18,444 - Hey! - I tried sawing off Jeff's arm. 327 00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:19,850 Why do you keep saying that? 328 00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:21,378 I should go. It's not safe to be around me. 329 00:13:21,396 --> 00:13:22,690 I'm just as bad. 330 00:13:22,721 --> 00:13:23,952 I couldn't handle the monkey, 331 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,611 so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie, 332 00:13:26,629 --> 00:13:28,457 even though I knew if it bit someone, 333 00:13:28,482 --> 00:13:30,957 it would make them a teensy bit psychotic. 334 00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,440 Britta's right. 335 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:34,666 We've all made some bad decisions. 336 00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:37,471 And if you really wanna know who the villain is here, 337 00:13:37,612 --> 00:13:39,679 it's me. 338 00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,642 - Ah. - Weee! 339 00:13:43,668 --> 00:13:46,829 Yeesh, I didn't think it was possible to put more glitter on. 340 00:13:46,863 --> 00:13:48,412 It's coming off of you like Pig-Pen. 341 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,532 Well, some people seem to like it. 342 00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:52,980 This married guy just gave me his phone number. 343 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:55,924 Can you believe his wife left him on their anniversary? 344 00:13:55,955 --> 00:13:56,803 You gonna call him? 345 00:13:56,809 --> 00:13:58,431 I mean, he did just win a bunch of money. 346 00:13:58,456 --> 00:13:59,312 I don't know though. 347 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,181 You don't know what? You're not married. 348 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,136 You gotta grab what you want in this life. 349 00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:04,952 That's the way it works. 350 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,278 Someone just took something important from me. 351 00:14:07,502 --> 00:14:08,937 And you know what? 352 00:14:08,955 --> 00:14:10,787 I admire him for it. 353 00:14:11,192 --> 00:14:13,361 All right, I mean, I guess I'll go talk to him. 354 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:14,261 You do that. 355 00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:17,424 And I'm gonna go get "crap on other people's lawns" drunk. 356 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,609 To a memorable evening for both of us. 357 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,956 Maybe you coincidentally affected some of us. 358 00:14:25,981 --> 00:14:28,583 But I actively endorsed pain. 359 00:14:28,616 --> 00:14:31,375 I was the bad guy, and... 360 00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:34,569 I'd like to think I'm not that guy anymore. 361 00:14:34,596 --> 00:14:36,962 Also, and I hate to bring this up, 362 00:14:37,338 --> 00:14:39,583 you did once make me pee myself. 363 00:14:39,681 --> 00:14:42,729 Well, I guess we're even then. 364 00:14:42,981 --> 00:14:45,469 I might finish studying at home. 365 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:57,430 Just ten minutes ago, I would've been so excited about that peeing thing. 366 00:15:11,402 --> 00:15:14,179 I wanted to make a prequel and I ruined everything. 367 00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:16,302 I guess it could happen to anyone. 368 00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,492 I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology. 369 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:20,667 Okay, let's not get crazy. 370 00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:23,538 And you didn't ruin anything. 371 00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:25,680 May I sit here? 372 00:15:25,999 --> 00:15:27,544 Shirley, what are you doing here? 373 00:15:27,571 --> 00:15:30,723 Oh, just wanted some yogurt. 374 00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:33,512 And I do know you're not that person anymore. 375 00:15:33,545 --> 00:15:36,153 Are you sure? 'Cause I was awfully good at it. 376 00:15:36,184 --> 00:15:38,119 Well, we all do bad things every now and again. 377 00:15:38,141 --> 00:15:40,422 I mean, I put a stripper's head through a jukebox. 378 00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:41,454 Hmm. 379 00:15:41,478 --> 00:15:43,835 What are you guys doing here? 380 00:15:46,204 --> 00:15:48,784 I guess we all really wanted yogurt. 381 00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:50,564 You know what's weird? 382 00:15:50,627 --> 00:15:52,981 This is where I first decided to go to Greendale. 383 00:15:53,128 --> 00:15:54,774 Wait, really? 384 00:15:54,799 --> 00:15:57,807 This is where I was when I first decided to go to Greendale. 385 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,919 You're kidding me. 386 00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,751 Senor Chang, I know you're as disappointed as I am 387 00:16:03,770 --> 00:16:05,556 in the caliber of students we have at Greendale. 388 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:09,421 But the mall offers a whole new valuable demographic 389 00:16:09,439 --> 00:16:11,429 of people awake during the daytime. 390 00:16:11,457 --> 00:16:13,508 All right, I'll pass flyers at Yogurtsburgh. 391 00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:14,759 Self-serve yogurt. 392 00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:17,003 Those douses already know one marketable skill. 393 00:16:17,034 --> 00:16:18,128 Okay, Ben— 394 00:16:18,146 --> 00:16:20,195 But it still has the tags on! 395 00:16:20,237 --> 00:16:21,969 So I lost the receipt. 396 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:23,274 It's not like I even got to wear it, 397 00:16:23,303 --> 00:16:26,171 because my husband's a tasteless man slut. 398 00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:29,787 What hey, littering! 399 00:16:34,078 --> 00:16:36,821 This better not awaken anything in me. 400 00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:46,019 God, this day... 401 00:16:46,052 --> 00:16:47,875 I thought pushing that woman's head through a jukebox 402 00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,594 would make me feel better, but I'm just... 403 00:16:49,644 --> 00:16:51,661 out of $54... 404 00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:52,927 and a marriage. 405 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,829 Crystal Skull was aliens, 406 00:16:54,853 --> 00:16:57,303 so it's a pretty great film. 407 00:17:03,334 --> 00:17:04,835 You guys seen this? 408 00:17:04,888 --> 00:17:08,740 Guys, working the program with you has been so great. 409 00:17:08,752 --> 00:17:12,635 I feel like I'm finally ready to get my life back on track. 410 00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:14,335 Last chance. 411 00:17:14,362 --> 00:17:18,462 Just walk over there right now and apologize to the theater manager. 412 00:17:18,877 --> 00:17:20,371 Midichlorians. 413 00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:22,027 Midichlorians! 414 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,449 Fine. 415 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,844 Then you're not going to film school! 416 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,665 Hi! Do you have any vegan froyo? 417 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,846 Do you even know what froyo is? 418 00:17:31,879 --> 00:17:34,079 Fine. Do you have a job application? 419 00:17:34,110 --> 00:17:35,092 Hey. 420 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,756 That weird guy hasn't blinked once. 421 00:17:38,255 --> 00:17:40,701 Oh, yeah. 422 00:17:41,652 --> 00:17:43,072 What a dweeb. 423 00:17:43,107 --> 00:17:46,542 - Yeah, what a dweeb. - Oh, nice shot, man! 424 00:17:49,629 --> 00:17:50,996 Hey, do you work at Greendale? 425 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,521 Work? That's putting it charitably. 426 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,944 Greendale community college is a total joke. 427 00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:57,175 They'd give a degree to a monkey. 428 00:17:57,757 --> 00:18:01,670 Hey, does Ian Duncan still teach psychology at Greendale? 429 00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:03,550 - That drunken limey? - That's the one. 430 00:18:03,594 --> 00:18:04,781 He's got tenure. 431 00:18:04,812 --> 00:18:06,815 Maybe getting my degree won't be as hard as I thought. 432 00:18:09,176 --> 00:18:11,065 Sir, what are you doing? 433 00:18:12,015 --> 00:18:13,453 Can we get some help out here? 434 00:18:13,478 --> 00:18:16,563 Some old guy broke the machine and is faking a heart attack. 435 00:18:19,776 --> 00:18:21,043 Oh, wait. 436 00:18:21,646 --> 00:18:23,258 Ah, stupid. 437 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,589 Cool, cool, cool. 438 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:37,389 Wait, so was that old guy really Pierce? 439 00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:40,658 We'll never know, because he'll never ever remember. 440 00:18:41,224 --> 00:18:42,505 What are the chances of all of us 441 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:45,036 ending up at the same place at the same time twice? 442 00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:46,880 Abed, it's amazing. 443 00:18:46,914 --> 00:18:48,277 I mean, yes, 2008 was the height 444 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,903 of the slightly sour frozen yogurt craze, but... 445 00:18:51,043 --> 00:18:52,910 that still doesn't explain it. 446 00:18:53,159 --> 00:18:55,647 Maybe we really were all meant to be together. 447 00:18:55,672 --> 00:18:58,427 I'm not sure I understand it, but 448 00:18:58,489 --> 00:19:00,341 maybe we don't have to. 449 00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:03,696 What I do know is that the ways our paths crossed, 450 00:19:03,733 --> 00:19:05,733 even when they were bad, 451 00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:07,990 all led us to this point. 452 00:19:08,302 --> 00:19:10,590 And I wouldn't have it any other way. 453 00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,885 So what you're saying is that we're all each other's Uncle Ben's murder. 454 00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:15,567 And we're all Spider-Men. 455 00:19:16,517 --> 00:19:17,959 Yeah. 456 00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:19,478 Let's say I'm saying that. 457 00:19:19,556 --> 00:19:22,708 Mm, I think we know whose will this really is. 458 00:19:23,778 --> 00:19:25,728 Yeah, I think I do. 459 00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:27,632 I'll be right back. 460 00:19:32,341 --> 00:19:34,101 Hello? 461 00:19:36,565 --> 00:19:38,656 Hey, Abed. 462 00:19:40,673 --> 00:19:42,136 Just doing some Pilates. 463 00:19:42,174 --> 00:19:43,955 - I was looking for you. - Wha—I— 464 00:19:43,992 --> 00:19:46,957 We discovered you're the reason we all went to Greendale. 465 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:48,479 You linked all of our stories. 466 00:19:48,507 --> 00:19:50,497 Like how the Cosmic Cube assembled the Avengers. 467 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:52,888 That, and the 4-billion-dollar deal with Disney. 468 00:19:52,978 --> 00:19:55,583 Turns out you were always one of us. 469 00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:58,859 So I came to see if you wanted to get some frozen yogurt. 470 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,518 Really? 471 00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:02,351 That's— 472 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,049 that's all I ever wanted. 473 00:20:07,129 --> 00:20:09,087 But it's too late. 474 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,850 Here's another thing I realized. 475 00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:14,056 Because of you we got to reinvent ourselves at Greendale. 476 00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:16,608 Everyone should have the same chance, don't you think... 477 00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:18,686 - Chang? - It's not Chang. 478 00:20:18,768 --> 00:20:20,780 It's Kevin. 479 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,711 How long have you known? 480 00:20:24,819 --> 00:20:26,228 Known what? 481 00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:29,143 Only you know who you really are. 482 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,367 Also, you may have experimental monkey fever. 483 00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:34,001 You coming? 484 00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:40,058 Yeah. 485 00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:45,656 Actually, can we stop at the post office first? 486 00:20:45,674 --> 00:20:47,031 I have something to mail for the Dean. 487 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:48,936 It's confidential and I don't wanna talk about it, 488 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,654 so stop interrogating me. 489 00:20:55,362 --> 00:20:57,312 I'm out. I Chang-ed my mind. 490 00:20:57,338 --> 00:21:00,593 You're too in to be out. 491 00:21:03,117 --> 00:21:04,982 - Hey! - Hi! 492 00:21:05,007 --> 00:21:06,804 You want some refills? On me, huh? 493 00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:08,027 Refills? You want some? 494 00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,745 Time for plan "B". 495 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:31,621 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 496 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:42,325 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today