1
00:00:02,087 --> 00:00:04,615
Hey. Get out of my chair,
or I'll have you disbarred.

2
00:00:04,626 --> 00:00:06,663
Oh, wait.
That already happened.

3
00:00:07,186 --> 00:00:08,623
- Cash.
- Tango.

4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,891
My old partner in my new firm.

5
00:00:13,441 --> 00:00:14,602
Does it get any better?

6
00:00:14,621 --> 00:00:17,609
- Not unless you leave.
- Still got it.

7
00:00:17,877 --> 00:00:21,685
So a little birdie told me you're
graduating kiddie college.

8
00:00:21,698 --> 00:00:23,535
You must be excited
to get that lollipop.

9
00:00:23,595 --> 00:00:24,958
Hey.

10
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,780
- It's a sticker.
- Ha.

11
00:00:26,798 --> 00:00:29,216
I know you're busy, not,
so allow me to whip it out.

12
00:00:29,269 --> 00:00:30,419
Come work with me.

13
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,578
You'll be a full partner, six figures,
corner office, three secretaries.

14
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:36,066
What's that? Not enough money?
I'll double it. Bam, done.

15
00:00:36,084 --> 00:00:37,772
That's how we negotiate.
Lunch?

16
00:00:37,795 --> 00:00:39,963
Wow.
I drive a hard bargain.

17
00:00:39,983 --> 00:00:42,429
But, Mark, aren't you worried
I'm a little out of practice?

18
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,220
The only cases I've tried lately
are about sandwiches and yams.

19
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,845
Please, you were
a better lawyer

20
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,245
when you weren't a lawyer
than most lawyers I know.

21
00:00:49,369 --> 00:00:50,719
It's still in you.

22
00:00:51,244 --> 00:00:53,051
I'll give it some thought.

23
00:00:53,069 --> 00:00:55,593
Just shake my hand, idiot.
It's simple.

24
00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:00,673
I like simple.

25
00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:02,197
Take a look around, Winger.

26
00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:04,429
This is your new old life.

27
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,753
I don't get it. We just had
Christmas, and now it's warm outside.

28
00:01:07,775 --> 00:01:10,338
Of course it is, dummy. We just
finished fall-spring semester.

29
00:01:10,357 --> 00:01:12,451
- Bring on summer-winter.
- I can't wait.

30
00:01:12,469 --> 00:01:14,566
My final film school class
is just called opinions.

31
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:16,789
Professor Taylor is scheduled to
teach, but I have a rebuttal.

32
00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:20,496
Lucky. I transferred to forensics
late and got the worst classes.

33
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,612
Skull fragment collection,
advanced advanced decomp,

34
00:01:23,630 --> 00:01:25,794
and intro to senselessness
were all full.

35
00:01:25,829 --> 00:01:27,529
I still have a year
of A/C repair left.

36
00:01:27,562 --> 00:01:29,631
I passed all my classes,
so now I just do yoga

37
00:01:29,649 --> 00:01:31,019
while the teachers
write down my wisdoms.

38
00:01:31,037 --> 00:01:33,426
Wait a minute.
Jeff passed history.

39
00:01:33,444 --> 00:01:34,708
He's graduating early.

40
00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:36,908
I'm totally unprepared
to deal with this.

41
00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:38,107
No, Annie,
please, don't—

42
00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:42,443
Well, it's official.
It's on a banner.

43
00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:43,888
Congratulations, Jeffrey.

44
00:01:43,912 --> 00:01:46,125
You worked hard not to work
hard to earn that degree.

45
00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:48,498
Yeah, you took so many blow-off
classes and pointless electives.

46
00:01:48,513 --> 00:01:50,465
- What did you end up majoring in?
- Education.

47
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,670
You had to win, didn't you?

48
00:01:51,692 --> 00:01:53,386
When I was inches
from the finish line.

49
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,716
Pierce, you have so many credits,
they have grand-credits.

50
00:01:55,721 --> 00:01:56,864
Just graduate already.

51
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:59,783
- When's the graduation ceremony?
- Never. It's community college.

52
00:01:59,806 --> 00:02:02,875
You just send in some papers
and they stop charging you.

53
00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:04,450
It's moving, in its own way.

54
00:02:04,468 --> 00:02:07,743
So this is it? A banner and
some soda Troy forgot to bring?

55
00:02:07,768 --> 00:02:10,981
- No. - As far as graduations go,
it's boring but grounded.

56
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:12,453
I was hoping for more.

57
00:02:12,459 --> 00:02:14,390
Can we at least walk with you
to the Dean's office?

58
00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:15,477
What, now?
No.

59
00:02:15,489 --> 00:02:18,077
I was just—I was going to mail it in
next week, or, you know, whenever.

60
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,199
Don't be silly.

61
00:02:19,218 --> 00:02:21,960
We started as a study group,
we'll finish as a study group.

62
00:02:21,978 --> 00:02:24,241
All for one, and one dude
we can all leave behind.

63
00:02:24,259 --> 00:02:25,470
Everybody, go quickly.

64
00:02:25,489 --> 00:02:26,224
Go.

65
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:27,650
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
- Hey.

66
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:54,417
4x13
Advanced Introduction to Finality

67
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,579
All right, Mr. Winger.
Et al. Britta.

68
00:02:57,605 --> 00:03:00,238
Emotions are running high,
so I will keep this

69
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,388
tight and short.

70
00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:03,973
- You always do. - I see you have
all the necessary paperwork.

71
00:03:03,985 --> 00:03:06,179
Necessary?
You asked for proof of inseam.

72
00:03:06,197 --> 00:03:07,821
Ah, Jeffrey.

73
00:03:08,039 --> 00:03:11,515
I'm going to miss our playful,
"Get a room already" banter.

74
00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:13,319
- Oh, Dean.
- I can come back.

75
00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:14,432
No, I can do this.

76
00:03:14,451 --> 00:03:17,354
Just need to sign
the old John Dean-cock

77
00:03:17,373 --> 00:03:19,887
and you will be graduated.

78
00:03:21,388 --> 00:03:23,265
So this is it?

79
00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:24,795
- Mm-hmm.
- Huh.

80
00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:26,236
I, uh—

81
00:03:26,279 --> 00:03:29,011
I expected
a little more pageantry.

82
00:03:29,606 --> 00:03:31,976
- I'm listening.
- Annie's right.

83
00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,956
We should throw a party
to mark the occasion.

84
00:03:34,711 --> 00:03:36,716
- A small one.
- The teensiest.

85
00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:38,852
Just close friends,
a small cake—

86
00:03:38,864 --> 00:03:40,764
- Maybe some flowers, an archway—
- A string quartet.

87
00:03:40,776 --> 00:03:42,358
Ooh, he could wear a suit.

88
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,595
- Starting to sound like a wedding.
- Not a wedding.

89
00:03:44,618 --> 00:03:47,140
Just your average,
low-key diploma signing,

90
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:49,339
to which you're all cordially
invited, tomorrow afternoon.

91
00:03:49,358 --> 00:03:50,201
Tomorrow?

92
00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:51,996
Is that enough time
to plan a whole wedding?

93
00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:53,613
- Absolutely.
- I'll get my book.

94
00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:58,455
Listen, I can't do a big party.

95
00:03:58,468 --> 00:03:59,323
It's too much.

96
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,801
Oh, I see what's going on here.

97
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,087
This is about you getting
cold feet about graduating.

98
00:04:04,099 --> 00:04:05,010
Pshaw.

99
00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:08,091
I've been looking forward to graduation
since freshman registration.

100
00:04:08,162 --> 00:04:10,669
I already got a job lined up
at my old partner's firm.

101
00:04:10,704 --> 00:04:12,484
Well, then, let them eat cake.

102
00:04:12,509 --> 00:04:13,721
It's just,

103
00:04:13,746 --> 00:04:15,994
I'm worried that the
group might not be able

104
00:04:16,012 --> 00:04:18,237
to handle it,
you know, emotionally.

105
00:04:18,273 --> 00:04:20,315
Everyone wants you
to graduate, Jeff.

106
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,703
Well, what about Abed?

107
00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:23,756
I mean, the stress of me leaving
might send him spiraling.

108
00:04:23,768 --> 00:04:25,298
Come on,
give him some more credit.

109
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:28,311
He's really progressed since
he opened up to my therapizing.

110
00:04:28,331 --> 00:04:29,935
Do you remember last year,
when he wouldn't stop

111
00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:31,841
talking about that
"darkest timeline" thing?

112
00:04:31,846 --> 00:04:35,021
- The one where I lost my arm?
- And Pierce died, and Annie went insane,

113
00:04:35,046 --> 00:04:37,116
and he blamed it all
on you throwing some dice.

114
00:04:37,129 --> 00:04:39,750
He has not brought that up
in months.

115
00:04:40,682 --> 00:04:42,488
You're right, Britta.

116
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:45,420
I just need
to give Abed a chance.

117
00:04:45,509 --> 00:04:46,485
Then it's settled.

118
00:04:46,497 --> 00:04:48,413
The six of us will
take astronomy next semester.

119
00:04:48,431 --> 00:04:50,969
- So now you're leaving me out.
- No, we're leaving Jeff out.

120
00:04:50,975 --> 00:04:53,293
So I'm not even the one
who gets left out anymore.

121
00:04:53,328 --> 00:04:55,260
- Everything's Jeff, Jeff—
- Jeff.

122
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,431
This seat taken?

123
00:04:57,859 --> 00:05:00,529
So everyone still excited
about the big shindig?

124
00:05:00,548 --> 00:05:02,723
Totally. I was worried about the
wedding-graduation mash up,

125
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,979
but it's testing really well with women.

126
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,073
Oh, well, that's a load off.

127
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,477
Hey, we should probably figure out
who's bringing the soda now, right?

128
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:12,016
- Just so there's not another hang up.
- I brought it.

129
00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:13,742
I-I just drank it all.

130
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,536
It's okay.
I've got it covered.

131
00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:17,624
No, no, no.
You've already done so much.

132
00:05:17,657 --> 00:05:20,325
Besides, I think I have
a fun and fair way

133
00:05:20,352 --> 00:05:24,034
to decide which of the six of us
will bring the soda.

134
00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:27,513
We'll roll for it.

135
00:05:37,539 --> 00:05:39,407
It didn't land on a number.

136
00:05:39,495 --> 00:05:40,678
That probably means nothing.

137
00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:42,960
- Or it means everything.
- Let's hope not.

138
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,377
You know what,
I'll bring the soda.

139
00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:46,237
Don't worry, I'll make sure
there aren't any more hang-ups.

140
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:48,921
Must I bear this cross forever?

141
00:05:52,246 --> 00:05:54,300
I was hoping for more.

142
00:06:18,604 --> 00:06:19,701
Catherine?

143
00:06:19,736 --> 00:06:23,069
Do not even tell me
you dropped that cake.

144
00:06:28,249 --> 00:06:29,580
Parasites.

145
00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,627
Hey.
What's going on?

146
00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:34,083
Why are you trying
to avoid graduating?

147
00:06:34,202 --> 00:06:35,277
I wish I knew.

148
00:06:35,292 --> 00:06:36,755
I think it's because
you're scared

149
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,149
to take this law job
with your old partner.

150
00:06:39,185 --> 00:06:41,278
But don't let that stop you
from graduating.

151
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:42,990
Take the job,
don't take the job.

152
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,826
Either way, your friends are always
going to be here to support you.

153
00:06:45,845 --> 00:06:46,910
Good to know.

154
00:06:46,955 --> 00:06:49,055
See you at graduation.

155
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,600
- And they call us the worst.
- Took you long enough.

156
00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:54,596
Hey, nobody said you had
to travel naked.

157
00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,384
Oh.
You brought the good one.

158
00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:58,720
You hold that,
I'll do the sleeve.

159
00:06:58,745 --> 00:07:00,692
Wait for the click.
There—

160
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:02,586
Ah.
Good.

161
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,518
Middle finger works great now.

162
00:07:06,744 --> 00:07:08,245
It's worse than I thought.

163
00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:11,026
They made lame Jeff
too lame to leave Greendale.

164
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,628
He's got to take that job.

165
00:07:12,654 --> 00:07:14,207
But how do we make him do that?

166
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,255
By turning the study group
against him

167
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,712
so he'll run screaming
from this rancid cocoon

168
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,743
into the welcoming arms
of darkness.

169
00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:24,114
- How hard is that to understand?
- It's not.

170
00:07:24,145 --> 00:07:26,533
I just like when you
talk down to me like a child.

171
00:07:31,213 --> 00:07:32,802
Oh!
Jeff.

172
00:07:32,903 --> 00:07:35,655
It's bad luck to see the
graduation before the graduation.

173
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,030
I had to talk to you.

174
00:07:37,071 --> 00:07:39,546
Today is bringing up
so many emotions.

175
00:07:39,745 --> 00:07:40,895
It's a lot to take in.

176
00:07:40,929 --> 00:07:43,681
I'm not making you feel nervous
about graduating, am I?

177
00:07:43,699 --> 00:07:44,874
Well,

178
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,268
you are making me
feel something.

179
00:07:47,705 --> 00:07:50,241
And it's not about graduating.

180
00:07:50,611 --> 00:07:51,967
I'm saying I'm hot for you.

181
00:07:51,994 --> 00:07:53,614
Me?

182
00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:55,223
Is this for real?

183
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,600
Is my beating heart for real?

184
00:07:57,857 --> 00:07:58,776
Oh, Annie.

185
00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:00,771
I don't know if it's
the beautiful decorations,

186
00:08:00,798 --> 00:08:03,216
or the impending
floral archway,

187
00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:07,140
but there's something about this
that feels so right.

188
00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:10,111
It's the perfect moment
to remember you by.

189
00:08:10,142 --> 00:08:11,714
Remember me by?

190
00:08:11,835 --> 00:08:13,939
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Exactly.

191
00:08:13,964 --> 00:08:15,178
You're going nowhere.

192
00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:18,648
I'm about to return
to my cool, adult, lawyer life,

193
00:08:18,718 --> 00:08:20,669
and you're going to be
stuck here, playing high school.

194
00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:23,256
- Why are you saying this?
- So you face the facts.

195
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:24,840
Once I graduate,

196
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,428
I'm gone.

197
00:08:30,365 --> 00:08:32,625
Winger, streaking
on your last day of school?

198
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:33,706
Respect.

199
00:08:33,725 --> 00:08:36,370
Oh, so I got the save the date
for your graduation.

200
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,701
Should I bring a date,
or try to hook up there?

201
00:08:38,729 --> 00:08:41,360
I'm not going to your
stupid graduation, jerk.

202
00:08:41,378 --> 00:08:43,323
I can't believe you said
those things to me.

203
00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:45,067
- What things?
- Don't play dumb.

204
00:08:45,086 --> 00:08:47,705
You want to leave? Leave.
See if I care.

205
00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:51,999
- What did you do?
- I have no earthly idea.

206
00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:54,723
Look up there.

207
00:08:58,796 --> 00:09:00,946
- Hello, Abed.
- Hello, Evil Jeff.

208
00:09:00,966 --> 00:09:01,954
What?
How did you—

209
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,364
I may not be good
with facial expressions,

210
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,482
but I know an evil doppelganger
when I see one.

211
00:09:05,532 --> 00:09:07,097
Plus your arm makes a noise
every time you move it.

212
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,701
Silence.

213
00:09:08,942 --> 00:09:11,808
- Are you here to kill Jeff?
- Oh, you non-evils are so naive.

214
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:16,023
I'm here to save Jeff from the
smothering teat of his study group.

215
00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:19,509
- Is that a paintball gun?
- You wish.

216
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,752
Cool.

217
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,969
Wait.
Cold.

218
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,598
How did I get
to the Dean's office?

219
00:09:30,948 --> 00:09:32,752
Hi.

220
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,310
Out of my chair, monkey.

221
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:44,379
The darkest timeline.

222
00:09:48,751 --> 00:09:50,302
Annie.

223
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,725
Um, okay,
let's start with "Huh?"

224
00:09:56,755 --> 00:10:00,136
Jeff, I'm sorry.
I made it all up.

225
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,253
I've been so upset
about you graduating

226
00:10:02,271 --> 00:10:04,973
that I've gone
a little crazy, emotionally.

227
00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:07,096
Oh, good.
I thought I was losing my mind.

228
00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:09,187
Make it up to you with a hug?

229
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:17,137
This breakfast sandwich cart
is such a great idea.

230
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,868
It's never too early
for Shirley—

231
00:10:18,892 --> 00:10:20,668
to make a boatload off
of hung over college kids.

232
00:10:20,699 --> 00:10:22,993
Speaking of great idea
having, hear me out.

233
00:10:23,012 --> 00:10:25,665
It's called
"The Troy-jan Horse."

234
00:10:25,852 --> 00:10:30,186
It goes bread, lettuce, ham,
ham, bacon, chocolate—

235
00:10:30,217 --> 00:10:31,999
Oh, how you doing,
the graduate?

236
00:10:32,018 --> 00:10:35,828
Just stopping by to hand out
some un-vites to my graduation.

237
00:10:35,859 --> 00:10:37,635
Here's one
for the desperate housewife

238
00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:41,471
who spends more time with her pathetic
business than with her family.

239
00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:42,546
And you.

240
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:45,344
If you call a sandwich
a "Troy-jan Horse,"

241
00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:47,713
people are going
to think there's horse in it.

242
00:10:48,484 --> 00:10:50,203
Oh, my dreams.

243
00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:51,719
Whatever, losers.

244
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:53,201
See you never.

245
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,074
Where's Abed?

246
00:10:56,916 --> 00:10:58,074
Is anyone here?

247
00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:00,103
Hello, Abed.
Welcome to our home.

248
00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:02,354
- Hello, Evil Abed.
- It's just Abed now.

249
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,898
After we met,
I abandoned my evil goal

250
00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:05,743
to focus on brightening
my own timeline instead.

251
00:11:05,776 --> 00:11:07,469
- Do you live here alone?
- Yes.

252
00:11:07,493 --> 00:11:09,494
Evil Troy moved out
when I gave up the cause.

253
00:11:09,524 --> 00:11:12,714
Now he only listens to Evil Jeff, who sort
of took over this year, villain-wise.

254
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:16,188
Jeff left Greendale and became a scummy
lawyer again, but the more evil he got,

255
00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:18,942
the more he became tortured by the idea
that there's still a good Jeff out there,

256
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,489
being good somewhere.

257
00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:22,877
That's why he forced me to show him
how to travel between timelines.

258
00:11:22,907 --> 00:11:24,231
My God.

259
00:11:24,256 --> 00:11:25,744
- This is so cool.
- I know.

260
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,077
You have no idea how long I've been
waiting to talk to you about it.

261
00:11:28,102 --> 00:11:31,146
Kind of a Superman III meets that Star Trek
episode meets season three of The Cape.

262
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,117
- The Cape was cancelled.
- Not here.

263
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,937
They retooled it for cable,
and it's awesome.

264
00:11:36,044 --> 00:11:37,219
Want to see it?

265
00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:39,373
Desperately. But I need to
get back to my timeline

266
00:11:39,392 --> 00:11:40,471
and stop Evil Jeff.

267
00:11:40,496 --> 00:11:42,290
So I came to the only person
who could help me—me.

268
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:43,589
I'll get you home, Abed.

269
00:11:43,735 --> 00:11:45,217
But first,

270
00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:47,248
you'll need some supplies.

271
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:54,420
Everyone must be running late.

272
00:11:54,454 --> 00:11:56,605
Here, Jeffrey.
You're graduated.

273
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,841
Take your precious diploma
and just go.

274
00:11:58,859 --> 00:12:00,409
I cannot believe

275
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:02,873
the hurtful things you
said to me in my office.

276
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:05,613
I'll have you know that wanting
a little pageantry in your life

277
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:09,253
isn't a crime
or a lifestyle choice.

278
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:16,208
Okay, Annie, something
definitely weird is happening.

279
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,275
No one's here,
the Dean is mad at me,

280
00:12:18,294 --> 00:12:20,648
and he is never
mad at me, and—

281
00:12:21,012 --> 00:12:22,031
a third reason.

282
00:12:22,055 --> 00:12:23,850
Congratulations, Jeff.

283
00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:26,192
Don't worry about the study group.
You can talk to them later.

284
00:12:26,217 --> 00:12:30,229
Why don't you and I go celebrate
someplace private and boozy?

285
00:12:30,235 --> 00:12:32,714
Annie, why are you acting like a
mistress in a lifetime movie?

286
00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:34,532
You're funny.

287
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,409
Oh, sweetheart,
you dropped your phone earlier.

288
00:12:37,442 --> 00:12:40,276
You've got a voicemail
from a guy named Mark?

289
00:12:40,489 --> 00:12:42,040
- You should call him.
- Not now.

290
00:12:42,058 --> 00:12:43,828
I have to find the others
and figure this out.

291
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:45,725
Crap.
We're losing him.

292
00:12:46,345 --> 00:12:47,646
- What?
- What?

293
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:48,734
Who are you?

294
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,456
You're me?

295
00:12:50,528 --> 00:12:52,713
- But how?
- But how?

296
00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:53,900
Enough of the pleasantries

297
00:12:53,912 --> 00:12:57,300
I've come from the darkest timeline
to make sure you take that job.

298
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,188
It's essential to our future.

299
00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:01,793
- You want it, idiot, so take it.
- I can't.

300
00:13:01,827 --> 00:13:05,957
I've spent almost four years here, growing
and changing and making dioramas.

301
00:13:05,989 --> 00:13:07,987
- I'm not that guy anymore.
- You're wrong.

302
00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:10,628
Greendale may have dulled
your killer instinct,

303
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,969
but trust me,
it's still in you.

304
00:13:12,981 --> 00:13:16,784
It's time to leave this place
and reclaim your proper life.

305
00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:18,168
No.

306
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:19,937
Not without my study group.

307
00:13:19,962 --> 00:13:22,509
Ugh.
Now who's in a lifetime movie?

308
00:13:22,554 --> 00:13:24,932
Then I'll be rid of you
another way.

309
00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:33,872
Friendship!

310
00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:40,783
Mm.
Cold.

311
00:13:40,811 --> 00:13:42,812
Well, the subtle approach
failed.

312
00:13:42,849 --> 00:13:44,074
What's next?

313
00:13:44,093 --> 00:13:45,661
Explain it slowly.

314
00:13:45,722 --> 00:13:47,848
Need some help?

315
00:13:48,352 --> 00:13:50,943
Let's burn this mother down.

316
00:13:57,422 --> 00:14:00,678
Jeff must be graduating about now.
I wonder if anyone's there.

317
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:01,759
Doubt he cares.

318
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,537
Pierce won't even
respond to my texts.

319
00:14:03,563 --> 00:14:05,748
I wonder what terrible things
Jeff said about him.

320
00:14:05,776 --> 00:14:07,027
I've got some guesses.

321
00:14:08,334 --> 00:14:09,272
Let me finish.

322
00:14:09,303 --> 00:14:12,736
Look, I know this may sound crazy,
and more than a little convenient,

323
00:14:12,748 --> 00:14:15,414
but whatever I said to you,
it wasn't me.

324
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:16,439
It was Evil Jeff.

325
00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:18,227
Come on.

326
00:14:18,245 --> 00:14:20,470
Something happened when I rolled that die.
Something terrible.

327
00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:22,121
Something only nerds
can understand.

328
00:14:22,145 --> 00:14:22,915
Mm-hmm.

329
00:14:22,934 --> 00:14:24,290
You have to believe me.

330
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,622
They're coming for us.

331
00:14:25,676 --> 00:14:27,094
No.

332
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:29,728
- We're coming for them.
- Abed, where have you been?

333
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:30,744
The darkest timeline.

334
00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:34,266
You guys never believe me, so this time,
I brought proof, the doppeldeaner.

335
00:14:35,337 --> 00:14:37,512
Abed brought me here
to prove to all of you—

336
00:14:37,923 --> 00:14:39,017
Whoa.

337
00:14:39,037 --> 00:14:41,321
Actually, I figured that these paintball
warping guns would convince you.

338
00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:43,924
Listen up, people. We've got an
inter-dimensional battle on our hands.

339
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:47,811
Our evil counterparts are waging
a war, and it's either us or us.

340
00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:49,214
All right.

341
00:14:49,361 --> 00:14:51,712
Let's light up
these dark suckers.

342
00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:53,866
Okay, everyone.
Stay sharp.

343
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:56,710
If you see yourself,
warp on sight.

344
00:14:56,739 --> 00:14:59,479
I'd like to warp myself
to a dairy-free mudslide.

345
00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,117
That's just vodka, Shirley.

346
00:15:01,129 --> 00:15:03,383
- I know what it is.
- Ah-ha.

347
00:15:03,664 --> 00:15:04,720
Pierce?

348
00:15:04,744 --> 00:15:06,594
- We thought you were dead.
- Hell, no.

349
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,076
After I got shot,
I faked my death

350
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:11,560
- to teach you all a lesson.
- Lesson about what?

351
00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:13,859
Who can remember?
It was more than a year ago.

352
00:15:13,883 --> 00:15:15,189
And yet,

353
00:15:15,203 --> 00:15:18,021
here you all are, planning
an invasion without me.

354
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,595
Again,
we thought you were dead.

355
00:15:20,613 --> 00:15:23,214
Listen, I-I can help you guys
beat the lame study group.

356
00:15:23,231 --> 00:15:24,583
Just tell me how this works.

357
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:25,449
Fine.

358
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,338
It's complicated,
but basically,

359
00:15:27,357 --> 00:15:29,889
the first person
to shoot themselves wins.

360
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,476
Winner.

361
00:15:32,494 --> 00:15:34,073
Well, that bow tied itself.

362
00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:35,965
Dang, I got hair dye
on my coat.

363
00:15:35,975 --> 00:15:37,942
Dang, it's spreading.

364
00:15:37,964 --> 00:15:40,294
Damn it, Britta. Did you
shoot yourself too?

365
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,187
- Every time.
- Hey.

366
00:15:42,218 --> 00:15:44,587
Don't talk to her like that.

367
00:15:45,051 --> 00:15:48,036
- Every time.
- We're here. Scatter.

368
00:15:55,406 --> 00:15:57,066
Get help.

369
00:15:58,503 --> 00:16:01,247
Can't hide forever, lame Annie.

370
00:16:01,278 --> 00:16:02,509
Just let me shoot you.

371
00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:04,652
You'll love
the darkest timeline.

372
00:16:04,681 --> 00:16:06,641
We're sleeping with Jeff there.

373
00:16:06,692 --> 00:16:08,261
What?
We are?

374
00:16:08,303 --> 00:16:09,731
All the time.

375
00:16:09,749 --> 00:16:12,646
And he loves it.

376
00:16:15,059 --> 00:16:17,068
Nobody sleeps with Jeff.

377
00:16:17,087 --> 00:16:19,348
Not even me.

378
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,746
I've been counting bullets.

379
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:25,010
One of us is out.

380
00:16:25,028 --> 00:16:26,688
- Is it you?
- Yes.

381
00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,601
Why would you tell me that?

382
00:16:28,644 --> 00:16:30,594
To sound intimidating.

383
00:16:32,596 --> 00:16:34,214
Oh.

384
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:35,942
Almost

385
00:16:35,979 --> 00:16:37,979
worked.

386
00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:40,641
Ballin'.

387
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:47,237
Okay.
Only Evil Jeff is left.

388
00:16:47,258 --> 00:16:49,953
- You've got to take him out. What?
- Why don't I just give him what he wants?

389
00:16:49,973 --> 00:16:51,524
- You can't give up now.
- Why not?

390
00:16:51,549 --> 00:16:52,865
Because it's not real.

391
00:16:52,877 --> 00:16:53,924
Look around, Jeff.

392
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,505
Haven't you noticed the vending machines
are full of meats and hard-boiled eggs?

393
00:16:58,033 --> 00:17:00,917
Or that all the background
students are attractive women?

394
00:17:01,489 --> 00:17:02,956
Hi.

395
00:17:03,371 --> 00:17:04,229
Yeah.

396
00:17:04,362 --> 00:17:06,615
This is a world you've created
in your own mind.

397
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:08,109
The real battle is within.

398
00:17:08,142 --> 00:17:09,713
You're afraid to graduate
because you think

399
00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:11,535
Greendale has
changed you too much.

400
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,139
So part of you wants Evil Jeff to win,
because then you could go backwards

401
00:17:14,145 --> 00:17:15,870
and pretend you're the same guy
you were four years ago.

402
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:18,503
But you're not. You're stronger.
You're better.

403
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:21,059
You have friends. No, screw that.
You have a family.

404
00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:22,600
Wait.

405
00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:25,677
If this is all in my mind, then I
don't really need to fight him.

406
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,748
Don't logic this one
away from me.

407
00:17:28,062 --> 00:17:31,051
We finally figured out a way
to make paintball cool again.

408
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,916
Hey, handsome.

409
00:18:00,608 --> 00:18:02,159
On second thought,

410
00:18:02,185 --> 00:18:03,536
who needs to roll a die?

411
00:18:03,578 --> 00:18:05,244
And who cares if we have soda?

412
00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:07,191
As long as you guys
are with me,

413
00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:09,419
I have everything I need
to graduate.

414
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:10,861
Yeah.

415
00:18:10,898 --> 00:18:12,560
Forget soda.

416
00:18:13,165 --> 00:18:16,315
Friends, Greendalians,
human beings,

417
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:17,938
we are gathered here today
to honor

418
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:23,002
that sacred and eternal bond
between a student and his Dean.

419
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:26,084
Neither time nor distance
nor screening one's calls

420
00:18:26,103 --> 00:18:29,464
could ever sever what
nature herself has ordained.

421
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,003
- When two men are drawn—
- I'll take it from here, Craig.

422
00:18:32,022 --> 00:18:34,798
Fair enough.
I was reaching.

423
00:18:35,601 --> 00:18:38,636
Three and a half years ago,
when I came to Greendale,

424
00:18:38,812 --> 00:18:41,473
- I met six very important people.
- Ooh.

425
00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:43,991
Burn on Britta. Sorry, seven.

426
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,488
And meeting these people
changed my life.

427
00:18:48,538 --> 00:18:49,993
Yep.

428
00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:53,731
I'm sorry.
I-I don't know what to say.

429
00:18:54,697 --> 00:18:55,965
- Yeah, okay.
- Whatever.

430
00:18:55,977 --> 00:18:57,931
I'm so used to being the guy

431
00:18:57,965 --> 00:18:59,966
who can talk his way
out of anything,

432
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:03,877
but what do you say
when you don't want a way out?

433
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:07,073
What you all have done for me is

434
00:19:07,198 --> 00:19:08,829
indescribable.

435
00:19:08,868 --> 00:19:10,498
It's unbelievable.

436
00:19:10,625 --> 00:19:12,981
And my love for you is

437
00:19:13,025 --> 00:19:14,899
immeasurable,

438
00:19:15,108 --> 00:19:17,819
even when you split it
seven ways.

439
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:22,516
Well said, Jeffrey.

440
00:19:22,585 --> 00:19:24,817
If anyone here
should have just cause

441
00:19:24,848 --> 00:19:27,634
why Jeffrey Tobias Winger
should not be graduated,

442
00:19:27,658 --> 00:19:29,276
speak now
or forever—

443
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:31,927
Pierce.

444
00:19:31,957 --> 00:19:34,328
You don't have to do this.
I'm ready to graduate.

445
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,759
Yeah?

446
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,907
Well, I'm ready
to graduate first.

447
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,357
Seems oddly appropriate.

448
00:19:40,382 --> 00:19:41,963
Congratulations, Pierce.

449
00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:49,878
Perfect.

450
00:19:49,906 --> 00:19:51,812
So what's next
for Jeffrey Winger?

451
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,509
I'm thinking I might look
into some small local firms.

452
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,555
I'm going to use my big mouth
to help the little guy.

453
00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:57,655
Aww.

454
00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:00,422
Plus, if I stay in town, I
can pop by any time I want.

455
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:02,689
You know, just to settle
any group arguments

456
00:20:02,713 --> 00:20:04,135
about who misses me the most.

457
00:20:04,154 --> 00:20:05,596
Oh—

458
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:07,269
What do you think?

459
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:09,167
- To Jeff.
- To Jeffrey.

460
00:20:20,943 --> 00:20:23,338
Welcome back. We've got a jam-packed
show, so let's get started.

461
00:20:23,366 --> 00:20:25,496
Today, as always, we'll
be visited once again

462
00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:28,121
by Greendale's king and supreme
lord master, Dean Chang.

463
00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:30,247
Looks like he'll be
talking about squash this time.

464
00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:31,831
Oh, I'm super excited for that.

465
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,928
And not only
because it's mandatory.

466
00:20:33,946 --> 00:20:35,797
But first, we'll take a spin
around the timeline map

467
00:20:35,815 --> 00:20:39,321
and find out what's happening in
the universes that parallel ours.

468
00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,259
Thanks, us. I'm standing
here in timeline five,

469
00:20:43,286 --> 00:20:44,686
where things
are pretty much normal.

470
00:20:44,728 --> 00:20:45,434
Normal?

471
00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:47,742
Troy, people are on fire
in Nairobi.

472
00:20:47,764 --> 00:20:49,598
You call that normal?

473
00:20:49,632 --> 00:20:51,927
I've become much more
conscious of world issues

474
00:20:51,932 --> 00:20:55,192
since Troy and I decided to give
our baby an African name.

475
00:20:55,225 --> 00:20:57,393
Isn't that right, Chewbacca?

476
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:59,287
It means,
"He who hunts bounties."

477
00:20:59,409 --> 00:21:00,863
Back to you.

478
00:21:02,098 --> 00:21:04,700
Wow, it sounds like things are
really heating up in Nairobi.

479
00:21:04,712 --> 00:21:07,556
That's nothing compared to the
fire in our studio audience.

480
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,184
Hey, idiots.

481
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,761
How many times have I told you,
the show doesn't really exist.

482
00:21:11,798 --> 00:21:13,530
No one's watching.

483
00:21:13,753 --> 00:21:15,471
Duh-doy.
We know.

484
00:21:15,548 --> 00:21:16,859
Yeah, we're just
messing around.

485
00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:19,369
- See you at lunch, Evil Jeff.
- See you at lunch.

486
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:30,251
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther