1
00:00:01,276 --> 00:00:04,507
I am the system. I
consume humanity.

2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:05,765
There is no escape.

3
00:00:05,784 --> 00:00:07,228
Objection!

4
00:00:19,113 --> 00:00:22,427
Are you a good person being
sued, oppressed, or beaten?

5
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,460
I can help,

6
00:00:23,474 --> 00:00:26,307
and that's the Winger guarantee.

7
00:00:26,424 --> 00:00:29,113
Call 555-her...

8
00:00:29,407 --> 00:00:31,941
Maybe you should've spent
less money on special effect.

9
00:00:31,973 --> 00:00:35,322
Huh, thanks a lot,
Francis Ford repo man.

10
00:00:40,342 --> 00:00:43,728
Ohh, Jeff Winger!

11
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,430
Relax, Tango.
I come in peace.

12
00:00:52,482 --> 00:00:55,455
Way I see it, I screwed you.
I got screwed back.

13
00:00:55,492 --> 00:00:56,819
Now we can bygone the bygones,

14
00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:59,683
because I got a juicy new
client and a bone to throw you.

15
00:00:59,886 --> 00:01:01,580
You hear about that bridge
that collapsed upstate?

16
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,581
A human could've said that
without salivating.

17
00:01:03,587 --> 00:01:06,462
I represent Marvin Humphries,
the engineer who designed it.

18
00:01:06,496 --> 00:01:09,723
- He wants to seek damages.
- From what? His own pencil?

19
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:13,266
From the only school reckless enough
to give him a degree in engineering.

20
00:01:13,286 --> 00:01:17,473
City-funded school, deep
government pockets.

21
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,160
Maybe you've heard of it.

22
00:01:19,184 --> 00:01:21,637
Greendale Community College.

23
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,263
Weird choice, by the way, the
bachelor's degree on the wall.

24
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:27,051
So you're gonna sue my old school
and you're bothering to tell me?

25
00:01:27,078 --> 00:01:28,591
You have access there.

26
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:32,445
I need Marvin's records to prove
that he was irresponsibly educated.

27
00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:33,839
Well, why don't you
just subpoena?

28
00:01:33,858 --> 00:01:37,074
Right, so they can have
a shredding party.

29
00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:39,898
See, that's the difference
between you and Greendale, Alan.

30
00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:41,425
They wouldn't shred evidence.

31
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,549
- It's a good place for good people.
- It's a diploma mill.

32
00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:47,043
It turns idiots into
bridge-collapsers

33
00:01:47,049 --> 00:01:50,914
and Jeff Winger into an attorney
that thought he could...

34
00:01:50,939 --> 00:01:53,264
help people?

35
00:01:53,618 --> 00:01:56,380
Jeff, I once saw you
convince an arson victim

36
00:01:56,406 --> 00:01:58,713
that he liked
his house better burned.

37
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:02,944
God, look what that
school did to you.

38
00:02:02,991 --> 00:02:05,471
It took all your money. It
took four years of your life.

39
00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:08,162
And worst of all, it
took your Winger moves.

40
00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:09,846
I still got my Winger moves.

41
00:02:09,866 --> 00:02:12,184
Prove it.
Get me Humphries' records.

42
00:02:12,211 --> 00:02:14,213
Because the next bone
you get thrown

43
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:16,427
might be through a dude's zipper
in the warehouse district,

44
00:02:16,454 --> 00:02:18,861
and I can't guarantee you
it'll be from me.

45
00:02:18,882 --> 00:02:21,415
Look, I might be broke,
desperate, and nearly homeless,

46
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,579
but I still got one thing deep
down inside that gives me power...

47
00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,764
That was it. That was all I had.

48
00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:52,079
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

49
00:02:52,419 --> 00:02:54,232
Welcome back, human beings.

50
00:02:54,251 --> 00:02:57,767
Dean Pelton here, wishing you
another magic year at Greendale,

51
00:02:57,791 --> 00:03:00,522
ranked America's number
two community college

52
00:03:00,549 --> 00:03:03,122
by GreendaleCommunityCollege.Com.

53
00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:07,514
Regarding the recent tragedy
surrounding a certain collapsed bridge,

54
00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:10,087
we will be observing a moment
of silence on the quad

55
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:13,235
followed by four years
of silence to the press.

56
00:03:13,557 --> 00:03:15,017
I told you you'd be back.

57
00:03:15,038 --> 00:03:18,708
Shut up, Leonard. I'm not here. I'm just
a figment of your creeping dementia.

58
00:03:26,579 --> 00:03:27,880
Hi.

59
00:03:28,317 --> 00:03:31,297
How would I go about getting
records for certain alumni?

60
00:03:31,316 --> 00:03:34,551
Why would you think a stranger could
just walk in here and do that?

61
00:03:34,703 --> 00:03:36,866
- You're, uh, Rita.
- Rhonda.

62
00:03:36,892 --> 00:03:42,027
I've always regretted not telling you
how much you remind me of my aunt.

63
00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:47,084
It's more disarming
than it sounds.

64
00:03:47,106 --> 00:03:49,836
I have a very attractive aunt.

65
00:03:50,066 --> 00:03:51,699
Rhonda, why are you
wearing Jeff Winger's...

66
00:03:53,222 --> 00:03:54,495
Jeffrey.

67
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:57,465
Are you, uh, looking for your friends?
They don't go here anymore.

68
00:03:57,492 --> 00:03:58,525
Maybe you're looking
for somebody

69
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,264
that was in front of you the
whole time, just a pitch.

70
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,147
He's asking for records

71
00:04:02,469 --> 00:04:04,359
for a certain alumni.

72
00:04:05,503 --> 00:04:08,274
In the midst of all this
Marvin Humphries business,

73
00:04:08,294 --> 00:04:11,273
I doubt this is a coincidence.

74
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,438
You're here to save me,
aren't you?

75
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,640
- Yes.
- Oh.

76
00:04:14,664 --> 00:04:18,373
I thought I might contact
alumni to form a committee...

77
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,134
The Save Greendale Committee.

78
00:04:20,163 --> 00:04:22,929
- Working title.
- Jeffrey, I'm gonna cry.

79
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:25,222
- Please don't.
- Request denied.

80
00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,634
Mmm.

81
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,260
Rhonda will let you
in the records room.

82
00:04:29,281 --> 00:04:31,314
It's actually your old study room.

83
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:35,230
After you and your friends left, it
was closed for sentimental reasons.

84
00:04:35,502 --> 00:04:38,782
And asbestos reasons, but
it's clean as a whistle now.

85
00:04:43,253 --> 00:04:45,940
"Harassment Reports,"
"Hazardous Waste Citations,"

86
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,212
"Herpes Comma Water Fountains."

87
00:04:48,232 --> 00:04:50,212
Come on. Where's Humphries?

88
00:04:50,243 --> 00:04:51,356
I see your value now.

89
00:04:51,381 --> 00:04:53,216
- Abed, why?
- "I see your value now."

90
00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,927
It's a callback
to when we met first season.

91
00:04:54,954 --> 00:04:56,354
And me calling years
"seasons" is a callback

92
00:04:56,361 --> 00:04:57,865
to my first season dialogue,
and me calling...

93
00:04:57,878 --> 00:05:00,566
Abed, I know what makes you
off-putting, but why are you here?

94
00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:02,361
The Dean called me about
the Save Greendale Committee.

95
00:05:02,382 --> 00:05:03,824
- Can I join?
- Well, I...

96
00:05:03,851 --> 00:05:06,607
- Oh, no. Who else did he call?
- Just me. I called everyone else.

97
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,799
Jeffrey!

98
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,828
Jeff!

99
00:05:14,119 --> 00:05:16,706
- Is that cool?
- It's the coolest.

100
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:20,400
Jeff, if you wanted to save Greendale,
why didn't you call us first?

101
00:05:20,409 --> 00:05:22,817
Well, you guys just got
sprung from this joint,

102
00:05:22,836 --> 00:05:24,817
and I figured you had
careers to get started.

103
00:05:24,837 --> 00:05:26,685
- Yeah, working hard.
- Ah, yes.

104
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:32,193
What have they done to our home?

105
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,519
The table's buried.

106
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:37,422
I got it.

107
00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,114
This is where we
became a family.

108
00:05:39,145 --> 00:05:41,232
Where Jeff made us a family.

109
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:42,480
Hmm.

110
00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:44,040
We could repilot it.

111
00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:47,461
This could be like Scrubs season
nine, a revamp, a do-over.

112
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,047
Jeff could come back
to Greendale as a teacher.

113
00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:51,141
I'm not gonna be a teacher, Abed.
That's lame.

114
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,460
Come on.

115
00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:56,040
Sit in your chair.
Complete the table.

116
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:58,927
- We want to help you save Greendale.
Yeah!

117
00:05:58,964 --> 00:06:01,771
Greendale! Greendale!
Greendale!

118
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:03,155
I got to go to the bathroom.

119
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:07,290
Mm, give him space.
Repiloting can be intense.

120
00:06:07,322 --> 00:06:10,040
New people show up. Regulars
shift roles or even fall away.

121
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,513
Season nine of Scrubs, Zach Braff
was only in the first six episodes.

122
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,974
That son of a bitch.

123
00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:16,456
After everything scrubs did for him?

124
00:06:17,094 --> 00:06:18,001
I'm sorry.

125
00:06:19,474 --> 00:06:21,405
Vision boarding.

126
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:24,162
Okay, vision boarding!
Oh, hi, Jeffrey.

127
00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:27,464
Dean, I have to warn you about something,
because it's the right thing to do.

128
00:06:27,484 --> 00:06:30,154
But first, why is there a
big empty box on your desk

129
00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:31,823
that says "Humphries" on it?

130
00:06:34,736 --> 00:06:37,339
Okay, the press has been
calling about Humphries,

131
00:06:37,352 --> 00:06:41,049
and I didn't want any details about his
enrollment here to be spun against us,

132
00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:43,308
so now there are no details.

133
00:06:43,341 --> 00:06:46,591
Oh, ooh.
That was his thesis.

134
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,422
Okay! So sue me!

135
00:06:50,464 --> 00:06:52,053
This ain't Harvard, Jeffrey.

136
00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:56,261
Okay, my job is to give a certain
number of degrees per year,

137
00:06:56,287 --> 00:06:58,062
or we could get shut down.

138
00:06:58,086 --> 00:06:59,833
And that would be bad because...

139
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:02,733
Ah, because then I
wouldn't have a job.

140
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,438
And, you know, Greendale is a
good place for good people.

141
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,974
That whole spiel, huh?

142
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,269
Yeah.

143
00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:10,163
That whole spiel.

144
00:07:13,979 --> 00:07:16,908
Wingblade.
Shock me by impressing me.

145
00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:19,368
- He shredded Humphries.
- What?

146
00:07:19,663 --> 00:07:22,011
I told you! How could
you let this happen?

147
00:07:22,037 --> 00:07:24,736
Sir, I have to ask you to
leave the concierge desk.

148
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,932
Jeff, this case was all I had.
I am screwed!

149
00:07:29,978 --> 00:07:32,389
My wife left.
My girlfriend dumped me.

150
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:34,328
And they're sisters, so now
the whole family's pissed.

151
00:07:34,349 --> 00:07:37,104
Shut up. Bring me all the paperwork
for filing a class action.

152
00:07:37,122 --> 00:07:39,782
Letters of intent, engagement,
everything. Multiple copies.

153
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:42,926
Winger, you just lost our client!

154
00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:45,857
Yeah.
But I can create five new ones.

155
00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:48,418
It's so dusty. Let's get
this off the table.

156
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,549
And that's the Winger guarantee.

157
00:07:54,544 --> 00:07:58,054
Okay, maybe we should bring
strong fundraising ideas...

158
00:07:58,074 --> 00:07:59,641
- That aren't bake sales...
- Hey.

159
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:02,787
Or opening a zoo where the humans are
in cages and the animals come to visit.

160
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,090
- G'oh!

161
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,693
Are you okay, Jeff? You
left kind of freaked out.

162
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,286
Well...

163
00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:12,270
I can't stop thinking
this school might be in trouble

164
00:08:12,303 --> 00:08:13,945
because of this
bridge-collapsing guy.

165
00:08:13,958 --> 00:08:15,496
He's the one making bad bridges.

166
00:08:15,509 --> 00:08:18,976
That's like me blaming owls for
how much I suck at analogies.

167
00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:22,352
Sometimes a student
will claim, in court,

168
00:08:22,385 --> 00:08:25,338
that their school ruined their life,

169
00:08:25,378 --> 00:08:26,718
and they'll win.

170
00:08:26,725 --> 00:08:28,292
You want to save Greendale?

171
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,454
- Make it litigation-proof.
- How?

172
00:08:30,489 --> 00:08:32,194
Think like the enemy.

173
00:08:32,897 --> 00:08:34,784
How did Greendale
damage you, Annie?

174
00:08:34,808 --> 00:08:37,276
It didn't. I love
hospital administration.

175
00:08:37,304 --> 00:08:39,217
- Is that your job?
- Well...

176
00:08:39,242 --> 00:08:40,340
not yet.

177
00:08:40,356 --> 00:08:44,450
But I administer
things to hospitals,

178
00:08:44,463 --> 00:08:45,815
like these.

179
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:47,176
Pen?

180
00:08:48,104 --> 00:08:50,786
- "Futurza"? - They're a rising
star in pharmaceuticals.

181
00:08:50,804 --> 00:08:54,187
They invented fibromyalgia and
the cure for fibromyalgia.

182
00:08:54,218 --> 00:08:56,165
You push drugs now?
That's ironic.

183
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:58,072
I push pens, Britta.

184
00:08:58,088 --> 00:09:00,061
Speaking of irony, how's
the therapy market?

185
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,953
- Depressed?
- I'm on sabbatical.

186
00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:02,756
You're jewish?

187
00:09:02,789 --> 00:09:06,322
I'm doing hands-on research about
the psychology of alcoholism.

188
00:09:06,342 --> 00:09:07,643
You're a bartender, aren't you?

189
00:09:07,651 --> 00:09:10,210
Which is basically like
a modern-day therapist.

190
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,997
If somebody tells me about a
murder, I can't tell anyone.

191
00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:14,853
Wow, you're even
bad at bartending.

192
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,120
What about you?

193
00:09:16,142 --> 00:09:18,960
Abed's working on the next
billion-dollar social media app.

194
00:09:18,979 --> 00:09:21,750
And when it takes off,
all I got to do is sue him.

195
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,139
It's fool-proof.

196
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:24,759
You're programming now, Abed?

197
00:09:24,778 --> 00:09:27,268
Didn't get any work with
your four-year film degree?

198
00:09:27,288 --> 00:09:28,674
One job, directing a commercial.

199
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,922
- Still haven't been paid.
- I'll cut you a check tomorrow,

200
00:09:30,935 --> 00:09:33,256
but just so we're clear, you quit.

201
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:34,113
Creative differences.

202
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:36,140
I asked you to put the phone
number on the screen.

203
00:09:36,156 --> 00:09:38,274
I didn't like the number.
555? It's derivative.

204
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,551
It's the number of my business.

205
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:42,027
It sounds fake. How can every
number start with 555?

206
00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:44,859
- Are there only 10,000 numbers?
- Abed, you quit?

207
00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:47,979
You said you got fired. You haven't paid
the rent of our apartment in two months.

208
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,875
Well, why don't you sell him a pill that
will help him give up on his dreams?

209
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:53,107
Relaxabrex doesn't make you
give up on your dreams.

210
00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,734
That's a side effect.

211
00:09:54,763 --> 00:09:57,810
At least the drugs I sell don't get
slurped out of my belly button.

212
00:09:57,836 --> 00:09:59,150
That's only on Tummy Tuesdays!

213
00:09:59,171 --> 00:10:01,197
- Oh, it's okay...
- Oh, I'm sorry...

214
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:03,011
Andre left again.

215
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,708
It's... It's not like last time.

216
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,787
Um, he's staying with family.

217
00:10:09,821 --> 00:10:13,482
He took the boys. He took the dog.
He took the D.V.R.

218
00:10:13,558 --> 00:10:17,370
166 episodes of Bones just gone.

219
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:19,889
It was my fault this time.

220
00:10:20,095 --> 00:10:22,175
I cheated on him

221
00:10:22,194 --> 00:10:24,058
with Shirley's Sandwiches.

222
00:10:24,396 --> 00:10:28,748
I threw the money into expanding.
I just didn't think I could fail.

223
00:10:32,558 --> 00:10:34,103
Okay.

224
00:10:34,773 --> 00:10:36,715
Well, just so you know,

225
00:10:36,748 --> 00:10:39,449
this is the sort of stuff
that someone could use

226
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,892
to make a claim
against a school.

227
00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:49,825
I have to go to the
bathroom again.

228
00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,541
While I'm gone,

229
00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:54,766
I want you to think about
what I said

230
00:10:54,814 --> 00:10:56,398
as an exercise.

231
00:11:00,147 --> 00:11:03,008
Do you guys feel weird
about doing this without...

232
00:11:03,566 --> 00:11:05,008
Magnitude?

233
00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:12,763
That's everything you asked for.

234
00:11:13,326 --> 00:11:14,514
Who are you flipping?

235
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:16,001
My friends,

236
00:11:16,038 --> 00:11:18,451
who are now the Save
Greendale Committee,

237
00:11:18,484 --> 00:11:20,676
- which I created.
- Ohh.

238
00:11:20,839 --> 00:11:21,966
Classic Winger.

239
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:24,260
I forgot what it was like
to be good at being bad.

240
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,005
So just close the deal and
bring it home to daddy, eh?

241
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,192
Oh, sorry, Alan.
Change of daddies.

242
00:11:29,218 --> 00:11:31,764
- I'll take it from here.
- No, no, but it's my case.

243
00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:33,238
Humphries was your case.

244
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,843
Jeff...

245
00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:37,031
- You're scaring me.
- Good.

246
00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:38,801
Guys like you should be more scared.

247
00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:42,351
You trust-funded, body-sprayed,
Eli-Roth-DVD owner...

248
00:11:42,364 --> 00:11:44,290
You're an amateur monster, Alan,

249
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,116
and you stomp in the
grave of a real monster

250
00:11:46,136 --> 00:11:48,002
who was willing to stay buried

251
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:50,030
because real monsters have shame,

252
00:11:50,059 --> 00:11:51,704
because they wish that...

253
00:11:52,114 --> 00:11:53,307
You're not worth the monologue.

254
00:11:53,332 --> 00:11:54,367
- Give me your tie.
- What?

255
00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:57,019
No monologue for you.
Give me your tie.

256
00:11:58,224 --> 00:12:00,108
That's for making me
go to this school.

257
00:12:00,139 --> 00:12:02,407
That's for making the
last four years happen.

258
00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:07,785
And now I get to make them un-happen for
me and the only people I care about.

259
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,537
I failed my husband.
I failed my kids.

260
00:12:14,557 --> 00:12:16,366
I've failed Bones.

261
00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:19,765
I'm helping to hook a whole new
batch of little Annies on Adderall.

262
00:12:19,786 --> 00:12:21,294
I've been spending so
much time with computers,

263
00:12:21,317 --> 00:12:23,176
your tears are just ones
and zeroes to me.

264
00:12:23,196 --> 00:12:26,194
Yeah, you were a real
Hallmark card before.

265
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,508
I'm much sadder
than the rest of you.

266
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:31,576
I will figure out why later.

267
00:12:31,610 --> 00:12:34,284
Jeff, full disclosure...

268
00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:37,388
Our lives are worse than
the day we got here.

269
00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:41,503
Well, that is a serious allegation
to arrive at all by yourselves.

270
00:12:41,537 --> 00:12:43,210
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

271
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:45,552
And we've come to a
decision as a group,

272
00:12:45,572 --> 00:12:48,592
and please don't judge
us for suggesting it.

273
00:12:48,615 --> 00:12:50,695
Hey, I'll back you up
no matter what.

274
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,247
We decided to re-enroll
at Greendale.

275
00:12:52,265 --> 00:12:53,793
What? Are you nuts?

276
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:55,871
Greendale! Greendale!

277
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:57,178
Greendale! Greendale!

278
00:12:57,191 --> 00:12:58,429
You guys want to keep it down?

279
00:13:00,602 --> 00:13:02,539
- Chang?
- Kevin?

280
00:13:04,857 --> 00:13:08,699
Chang. I've dropped the amnesia thing,
copped to my crimes, and went to jail.

281
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:09,825
Now I'm on work release.

282
00:13:09,837 --> 00:13:11,453
- Working as what?
- Math teacher.

283
00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:12,565
Next, explain the pajamas.

284
00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:15,373
Well, I'm on work release from house
arrest, but I don't have a home.

285
00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:19,480
See this? This won't let me
travel 100 yards from this,

286
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,828
and this only has
a 30-yard cord,

287
00:13:21,852 --> 00:13:23,704
so I can only travel...

288
00:13:24,188 --> 00:13:25,322
Whatever. You do the math.

289
00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:29,142
- You said you teach math.
- Exactly. I teach it. You do it.

290
00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:34,150
Chang was faking his Changnesia?

291
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:38,452
They seriously rehired a teacher they
fired for trying to burn down the school?

292
00:13:38,464 --> 00:13:40,469
After being rehired as a security guard

293
00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:42,699
after being fired
for impersonating a teacher.

294
00:13:42,719 --> 00:13:44,321
That's insane, and I'm Abed.

295
00:13:44,327 --> 00:13:46,357
Worse than insane.
Irresponsible.

296
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,136
- Evil.
- I don't believe in evil.

297
00:13:48,153 --> 00:13:51,477
But this school clearly got
a finger up its butt as a child.

298
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,083
This place ruins lives.

299
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,918
If that were true,

300
00:13:55,027 --> 00:13:59,657
then what could we
possibly do about it?

301
00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:06,757
Make 'em dance, Winger.

302
00:14:06,785 --> 00:14:10,566
Ew, Jeff, what's your evil
old legal Nemesis doing here?

303
00:14:10,579 --> 00:14:11,978
Nemesis?

304
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:15,008
No, we were partners again

305
00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,269
until I lost my usefulness.

306
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:18,656
I may be evil,

307
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:23,043
but your friend here is
so much more dangerous.

308
00:14:23,073 --> 00:14:24,681
Tell 'em how it
took you 30 minutes

309
00:14:24,713 --> 00:14:27,590
to make them think they wanted
to sue their own school.

310
00:14:30,362 --> 00:14:31,689
I did it.

311
00:14:31,712 --> 00:14:33,018
Sorry.

312
00:14:33,035 --> 00:14:35,895
Anyway, I'll leave you
to pick up these pieces.

313
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,535
I'm gonna go score some blow.

314
00:14:37,548 --> 00:14:39,268
My dealer's a gym teacher here.

315
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:48,084
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com

316
00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:50,891
You were lying to us?

317
00:14:51,025 --> 00:14:52,850
I never lied to you.

318
00:14:53,161 --> 00:14:55,868
I showed you the right truth.

319
00:14:55,915 --> 00:14:59,222
Britta, when we met, you
were an eclectic anarchist.

320
00:14:59,247 --> 00:15:01,687
How did you become
the group's airhead?

321
00:15:01,707 --> 00:15:02,474
Thank you?

322
00:15:02,495 --> 00:15:05,679
And, Shirley, you've gone
from an independent divorcee

323
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:10,575
striking out on her own to a bankrupt fry
cook hoping for a call from her husband.

324
00:15:10,593 --> 00:15:13,551
Troy, your entire identity
has been consumed

325
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,600
by your relationship
with another man.

326
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:16,894
You found my Clive Owen Tumblr.

327
00:15:16,919 --> 00:15:19,722
And what happened to Annie
the Unstoppable Go-getter?

328
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,659
Well, there was that
gas leak last year.

329
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,902
Oh, don't blame it all
on the gas leak year.

330
00:15:23,928 --> 00:15:25,428
This was a four-year process.

331
00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:27,556
We went in one end
as real people

332
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:30,097
and out the other end
as mixed-up cartoons.

333
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:31,344
- Cool.
- Sure.

334
00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:34,403
This coming from the guy who's had
how many psychotic breaks on campus?

335
00:15:34,423 --> 00:15:35,691
Are we including the gas leak year?

336
00:15:35,704 --> 00:15:38,235
You all came here
with a chance to be something,

337
00:15:38,252 --> 00:15:40,171
and you all had that
taken away from you.

338
00:15:40,197 --> 00:15:42,110
Get something back.

339
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,064
Seek damages.

340
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,528
Sign here.

341
00:15:46,552 --> 00:15:48,039
But you're our hero.

342
00:15:48,057 --> 00:15:51,283
- I mean, in the commercial...
- The commercial was a lie.

343
00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:53,182
You staged a robot fight?

344
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,242
Yeah.

345
00:15:54,271 --> 00:15:56,800
In real life, the robot wins.

346
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:03,482
Troy?

347
00:16:06,374 --> 00:16:08,603
If Jeff didn't change,

348
00:16:08,629 --> 00:16:10,376
then Jeff is right.

349
00:16:10,656 --> 00:16:12,916
Case closed. Let's
make some money.

350
00:16:13,394 --> 00:16:16,405
Okay, Jeff, if this is what
you really want to do.

351
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:17,811
I'll sign.

352
00:16:17,842 --> 00:16:19,777
The choice to make is yours.

353
00:16:19,798 --> 00:16:22,123
No, it's yours.

354
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,535
We're putting Greendale
in your hands.

355
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,058
Do we all have to say something?

356
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,952
- No, you can just sign it.
- Okay.

357
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,917
- You brought us together.
- With lies.

358
00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:44,260
But what you do is
above lying, remember?

359
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,232
You show us the right truth.

360
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,759
You won't regret this.

361
00:16:56,903 --> 00:16:59,211
I'd like to take the study room
table in back and burn it.

362
00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:00,801
Burn it? Why?

363
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:04,556
The same reason I never returned
Time Bandits to Blockbuster.

364
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,410
Nobody else deserves it.

365
00:17:16,162 --> 00:17:17,421
Jesus!

366
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:19,991
Looks as if you've lost your way.

367
00:17:20,032 --> 00:17:20,938
Pierce?

368
00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:23,664
Continue on this path, and you
might miss your last chance

369
00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:26,692
to see the Pierce Hawthorne
Museum of Gender Sensitivity

370
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:29,122
and Sexual Potency
on the central quad.

371
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:31,965
The museum and this hologram
were donated in compliance

372
00:17:31,991 --> 00:17:34,959
with a court order I'm
not allowed to discuss.

373
00:17:35,444 --> 00:17:38,096
Let's just say some women
can't take a compliment.

374
00:17:38,112 --> 00:17:39,730
Unbelievable.

375
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:42,809
What I am allowed
to discuss is Greendale,

376
00:17:42,837 --> 00:17:44,144
and I'll say this...

377
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,049
Don't turn your back on it.

378
00:17:46,571 --> 00:17:49,156
Take it from a man with
no legal right to be there.

379
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:51,294
You're in a special place.

380
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,877
A crappy place, sure,

381
00:17:52,913 --> 00:17:57,653
but only because it gives crappy people
a chance to sort themselves out.

382
00:17:59,055 --> 00:18:02,079
Did I sound gay at the end?
Do you want to do another take?

383
00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:05,852
- Ahh! Jeffrey, I'm not decent.
- I know.

384
00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:09,772
These are the signatures of the
five people that are crazy enough

385
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,450
to care about this toilet.

386
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,933
And tonight, I almost
got them to sue it.

387
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:16,841
- Heed the warning!
- It's not easy being Dean, Jeffrey!

388
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,156
- Then stop being the Dean!
- It's my whole ideantity!

389
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,282
I mean, wah, see what I did there?
That's proof!

390
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,888
Get your crap together.

391
00:18:24,912 --> 00:18:27,172
Your job is not to
hand out degrees.

392
00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:29,435
Your job is to make this
a toilet

393
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:32,259
that people don't have
to be crazy to care about.

394
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,987
But you could stay here
and help me save the school.

395
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,557
For how much money?

396
00:18:36,577 --> 00:18:39,346
I-I can't offer you any money.
I could offer you a job.

397
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,814
You just described slavery.

398
00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:43,483
I mean, there's nothing in
the budget for school saver,

399
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:48,015
but I could hire you as...

400
00:18:50,391 --> 00:18:52,171
Screw you, Abed.

401
00:18:54,805 --> 00:18:57,006
I'd be depressed right now
if these samples from work

402
00:18:57,013 --> 00:18:59,347
weren't giving me
a new outlook on life.

403
00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:01,280
If you're interested
in learning more,

404
00:19:01,293 --> 00:19:03,495
ask your doctor if Joyvatrex
is right for you.

405
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,968
Oh, honey.

406
00:19:04,985 --> 00:19:07,952
If we sue Greendale, can
I be a surprise witness?

407
00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:09,626
Wait. Don't tell me.

408
00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:11,210
Stop!

409
00:19:11,438 --> 00:19:12,677
We shouldn't sue the school.

410
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,310
- Ohh.
- Come on!

411
00:19:14,336 --> 00:19:16,650
Are you trying to give us
emotional whiplash?

412
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:19,976
Look, if you feel there's more
work to be done on yourselves,

413
00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:22,866
then as crappy as this place is,

414
00:19:23,050 --> 00:19:24,363
it's a place that you can do it.

415
00:19:24,376 --> 00:19:27,405
- You got a job teaching here, didn't you?
- I don't want to talk about it.

416
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:31,039
Well, then, I'm getting back
into forensic science.

417
00:19:31,059 --> 00:19:33,945
That was my actual dream.
It's my fault I bailed on it.

418
00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:35,983
A film degree doesn't
make me a filmmaker.

419
00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:37,538
I need to learn how to work
with other people.

420
00:19:37,558 --> 00:19:39,938
- I need to figure out who I am.
- I'll help you.

421
00:19:40,215 --> 00:19:41,728
Get out of my brain.

422
00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:44,262
I need to learn how
to really run a business

423
00:19:44,275 --> 00:19:46,794
by my own standards,
not Greendale's.

424
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,642
I'm gonna get a four-year psych
degree, then a master's,

425
00:19:49,682 --> 00:19:51,888
and become a real psychologist.

426
00:19:51,928 --> 00:19:54,143
Or you could find another major.

427
00:19:54,162 --> 00:19:56,186
A real psychologist.

428
00:19:56,199 --> 00:19:58,059
- How about English?
- Psychology.

429
00:19:58,076 --> 00:20:01,872
All right, what's important
is, no matter what,

430
00:20:01,912 --> 00:20:05,628
we'll be trying to talk Britta
into doing something different

431
00:20:05,647 --> 00:20:07,168
together.

432
00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:12,069
Burn, hopelessness.

433
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,380
- We got this.
- Oh, my God, be careful!

434
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,071
Little victories count
for a lot around here...

435
00:20:26,687 --> 00:20:28,341
Wow, this is good.

436
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,884
Even if you never asked
to win in the first place.

437
00:20:33,728 --> 00:20:36,526
And you have to enjoy those
nice moments while you can.

438
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:39,165
See, he does a voice-over wrap-up
at the end of every episode.

439
00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:41,078
- Wow.
- Cool.

440
00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:44,182
Because around here,
they never last very long.

441
00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:47,827
Once more. More teachery.

442
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,360
I want to kill myself.

443
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:50,947
Use that.

444
00:20:57,376 --> 00:21:00,145
- Are you a good person?
- Yes, unlike you.

445
00:21:00,202 --> 00:21:03,276
I can... guarantee. The Winger...
beaten... you.

446
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,229
Not anymore.

447
00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:34,483
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

448
00:21:35,315 --> 00:21:45,315
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