1 00:00:01,937 --> 00:00:04,231 Jeff, 2 00:00:01,937 --> 00:00:04,231 we've known each other 3 00:00:01,937 --> 00:00:04,231 a long time, right? 4 00:00:04,273 --> 00:00:05,815 You've come to respect me. 5 00:00:05,857 --> 00:00:09,278 Sure. 6 00:00:05,857 --> 00:00:09,278 Well, get ready to stop. 7 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,697 Please help me 8 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,697 seduce Britta 9 00:00:11,739 --> 00:00:14,617 now that you've 10 00:00:11,739 --> 00:00:14,617 finished doing it with her. 11 00:00:11,739 --> 00:00:14,617 Please, please... 12 00:00:14,659 --> 00:00:16,160 Do you even 13 00:00:14,659 --> 00:00:16,160 really like Britta? 14 00:00:16,201 --> 00:00:17,953 It seems like 15 00:00:16,201 --> 00:00:17,953 you like her because 16 00:00:16,201 --> 00:00:17,953 she doesn't like you. 17 00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:20,205 Have you met the women 18 00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:20,205 that do like me, Jeff? 19 00:00:20,247 --> 00:00:22,207 Neither have I, 20 00:00:20,247 --> 00:00:22,207 but trust me, 21 00:00:20,247 --> 00:00:22,207 they're bad people. 22 00:00:22,249 --> 00:00:25,961 Fine. 23 00:00:22,249 --> 00:00:25,961 To get near Britta, 24 00:00:22,249 --> 00:00:25,961 think like Britta. 25 00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,672 Grab one of those 26 00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,672 free papers for hippies 27 00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,672 on the quad, 28 00:00:27,713 --> 00:00:28,964 go to the calendar page, 29 00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:31,133 and find a cause 30 00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:31,133 so tragic... 31 00:00:31,175 --> 00:00:32,468 Are you writing this down? 32 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,179 Okay, 33 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,179 we have confirmation 34 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,179 that all the bones 35 00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,847 have been removed 36 00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,847 from the football field. 37 00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:38,182 And we agree that 38 00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:38,182 teachers should get 39 00:00:38,223 --> 00:00:40,267 a 10-minute head start 40 00:00:38,223 --> 00:00:40,267 at the job fair. 41 00:00:40,309 --> 00:00:41,602 Any other items? 42 00:00:42,603 --> 00:00:44,355 It's Friday night. 43 00:00:44,396 --> 00:00:45,855 What's everybody doing? 44 00:00:45,897 --> 00:00:49,234 Oh, there's a benefit show 45 00:00:45,897 --> 00:00:49,234 at the Forefront Theater 46 00:00:49,276 --> 00:00:52,154 in Riverside 47 00:00:49,276 --> 00:00:52,154 for starving children 48 00:00:52,196 --> 00:00:53,614 with cleft palates. 49 00:00:53,656 --> 00:00:55,282 Aw. 50 00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:56,784 I'm gonna crash the premiere 51 00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:56,784 of the Kickpuncher reboot 52 00:00:56,826 --> 00:00:57,868 dressed like classic 53 00:00:56,826 --> 00:00:57,868 Kickpuncher. 54 00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:00,954 They shouldn't have 55 00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:00,954 redesigned that costume. 56 00:01:00,996 --> 00:01:02,914 Keep your heads 57 00:01:00,996 --> 00:01:02,914 in the sand if you want. 58 00:01:02,956 --> 00:01:06,293 Professor Duncan, 59 00:01:02,956 --> 00:01:06,293 I didn't know that 60 00:01:02,956 --> 00:01:06,293 cause interested you. 61 00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,546 Well, it's starving children 62 00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,546 with cleft palates, Britta. 63 00:01:08,587 --> 00:01:11,549 What part would 64 00:01:08,587 --> 00:01:11,549 you have me be 65 00:01:08,587 --> 00:01:11,549 disinterested in? 66 00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:12,883 Forefront theater? 67 00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:12,883 Mmm-hmm. 68 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,177 What time? 69 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,177 I'm going. 70 00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:17,262 I'm going too. 71 00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:17,262 Me too. 72 00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:20,140 Kids with cleft palates 73 00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:20,140 should have extra 74 00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:20,140 food, not less. 75 00:01:20,182 --> 00:01:21,767 I'm in. 76 00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:25,563 I have dinner plans. 77 00:01:27,022 --> 00:01:28,649 Yeah, make sure 78 00:01:27,022 --> 00:01:28,649 it's a hearty meal. 79 00:01:28,691 --> 00:01:30,818 Oh, boo. 80 00:01:28,691 --> 00:01:30,818 Help me out here. 81 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:32,695 Um, well, uh... 82 00:01:32,737 --> 00:01:37,074 Pfft, are you really 83 00:01:32,737 --> 00:01:37,074 the one that needs 84 00:01:32,737 --> 00:01:37,074 help here, Winger? 85 00:01:37,115 --> 00:01:39,326 Yeah, should we 86 00:01:37,115 --> 00:01:39,326 write a check to 87 00:01:37,115 --> 00:01:39,326 the Jeff foundation? 88 00:01:39,368 --> 00:01:41,871 Okay. 89 00:01:39,368 --> 00:01:41,871 Maybe I'll go too. 90 00:01:41,911 --> 00:01:43,664 Well, it's the 91 00:01:41,911 --> 00:01:43,664 least you can do. 92 00:01:43,706 --> 00:01:45,624 Yeah, 93 00:01:43,706 --> 00:01:45,624 feels good to help. 94 00:01:45,666 --> 00:01:47,543 God bless you. 95 00:01:48,377 --> 00:01:51,505 Cool, so 7:30? 96 00:01:51,547 --> 00:01:55,092 Tie me to dream 97 00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:58,262 to run out of steam 98 00:01:58,303 --> 00:02:01,682 it can be here 99 00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:05,519 tied up, dead in a year 100 00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:10,482 I should stay 101 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,827 Did you get it? 102 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,827 I don't think I got it. 103 00:02:21,869 --> 00:02:23,788 Well, 104 00:02:21,869 --> 00:02:23,788 the ants were people. 105 00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:25,664 The queen ant 106 00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:25,664 was an oil company. 107 00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:28,125 Okay, so it was about 108 00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:28,125 our marginalized perceptions 109 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:31,086 as drones being born 110 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:31,086 into a corporate hive-mind? 111 00:02:31,128 --> 00:02:32,212 Yeah. 112 00:02:31,128 --> 00:02:32,212 Hmm. 113 00:02:32,254 --> 00:02:33,714 Wow. 114 00:02:33,756 --> 00:02:35,382 McDonald's? 115 00:02:33,756 --> 00:02:35,382 Oh, I was just 116 00:02:33,756 --> 00:02:35,382 thinking about that. 117 00:02:35,424 --> 00:02:36,634 Mmm. 118 00:02:35,424 --> 00:02:36,634 Mmm-hmm, hungry. 119 00:02:36,675 --> 00:02:37,927 Hello? 120 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,637 Okay, Alessandra, 121 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,637 I can't talk right now. 122 00:02:39,678 --> 00:02:41,305 I just got out of a show. 123 00:02:41,972 --> 00:02:43,181 Okay, hold on. 124 00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:47,686 Well? 125 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:49,897 Look, if you're gonna 126 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:49,897 just yell at me, why... 127 00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:52,023 Why are you doing this? 128 00:02:52,065 --> 00:02:54,568 This is not happening 129 00:02:52,065 --> 00:02:54,568 to you, okay? 130 00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,487 It's happening to us! 131 00:02:56,528 --> 00:02:58,697 Well, you called me! 132 00:02:58,739 --> 00:03:02,242 Well, then let me 133 00:02:58,739 --> 00:03:02,242 be the one to do this! 134 00:03:14,463 --> 00:03:16,089 Uh, my mother 135 00:03:14,463 --> 00:03:16,089 used to tell a story 136 00:03:16,131 --> 00:03:17,842 about how 137 00:03:16,131 --> 00:03:17,842 she killed a chicken. 138 00:03:21,219 --> 00:03:23,931 Hong Kong, 1964. 139 00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:25,557 So you like 140 00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:25,557 the theatre, Ian? 141 00:03:25,599 --> 00:03:26,934 Oh, are you kidding? 142 00:03:26,976 --> 00:03:30,103 I spent half my 143 00:03:26,976 --> 00:03:30,103 days at university 144 00:03:26,976 --> 00:03:30,103 in wigs and tights. 145 00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:31,939 You don't do that without 146 00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:31,939 befriending some actors. 147 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,649 Hmm. 148 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:34,942 Oh, my God, Michael. 149 00:03:34,984 --> 00:03:37,110 I know Michael 150 00:03:34,984 --> 00:03:37,110 from my anarchist days. 151 00:03:37,152 --> 00:03:39,655 God, he's gonna 152 00:03:37,152 --> 00:03:39,655 smell the sellout on me. 153 00:03:42,616 --> 00:03:44,409 Hey. How's it goin'? 154 00:03:44,451 --> 00:03:45,619 Oh, my God. 155 00:03:44,451 --> 00:03:45,619 Oh, my God. 156 00:03:45,661 --> 00:03:47,078 What's going on? 157 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,413 I don't like 158 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,413 this "my-kale" guy. 159 00:03:48,455 --> 00:03:49,665 I don't think 160 00:03:48,455 --> 00:03:49,665 he likes himself, 161 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,375 or he'd pronounce it 162 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,375 "Michael." 163 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,669 Isn't she great? 164 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,669 She's everything 165 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,669 I love about America. 166 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,172 Bold, opinionated, 167 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,172 just past her peak, 168 00:03:57,214 --> 00:04:00,050 and starting to 169 00:03:57,214 --> 00:04:00,050 realize that she has 170 00:03:57,214 --> 00:04:00,050 to settle for less. 171 00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,219 And the moment she needs 172 00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,219 a shoulder to cry on, 173 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,345 bam. 174 00:04:03,387 --> 00:04:04,930 Huh? 175 00:04:03,387 --> 00:04:04,930 The Duncan handkerchief. 176 00:04:04,972 --> 00:04:06,473 Well, I'm out. 177 00:04:06,515 --> 00:04:08,308 Have fun circling 178 00:04:06,515 --> 00:04:08,308 my former lover, 179 00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:11,395 waiting for her to cry. 180 00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:12,771 I tried to make 181 00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:12,771 that sound good, 182 00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,398 but that's 183 00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,398 what you're doin'. 184 00:04:14,439 --> 00:04:16,567 Eh. 185 00:04:16,608 --> 00:04:20,111 Uh, you're all heroes tonight 186 00:04:16,608 --> 00:04:20,111 for making a difference, 187 00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:23,615 but I want to introduce 188 00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:23,615 one of my heroes. 189 00:04:23,657 --> 00:04:25,034 Britta Perry. 190 00:04:23,657 --> 00:04:25,034 Oh. 191 00:04:27,327 --> 00:04:31,665 She is the bravest, 192 00:04:27,327 --> 00:04:31,665 most passionate activist 193 00:04:31,707 --> 00:04:34,167 I have ever had 194 00:04:31,707 --> 00:04:34,167 the honor of imitating. 195 00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,211 So, hey, 196 00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,211 buy her a drink. 197 00:04:37,295 --> 00:04:38,881 Anything you 198 00:04:37,295 --> 00:04:38,881 wanna add, Britta? 199 00:04:38,923 --> 00:04:41,341 Oh. Wow, 200 00:04:38,923 --> 00:04:41,341 um, I'm not a hero. 201 00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:43,928 I'm a high school dropout 202 00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:43,928 and a bartender, 203 00:04:43,969 --> 00:04:45,512 so don't listen to me. 204 00:04:47,973 --> 00:04:49,683 Or anyone. 205 00:04:49,725 --> 00:04:51,602 Just listen to yourself, 206 00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:54,521 and make sure 207 00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:54,521 you tell yourself the truth. 208 00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:59,234 Well, it was... 209 00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:59,234 It was great 210 00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:59,234 seeing you, so... 211 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,444 I might stay 212 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,444 for one drink. 213 00:05:00,485 --> 00:05:02,738 Why? 214 00:05:00,485 --> 00:05:02,738 I like to drink. 215 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:03,989 Oh, really? 216 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:03,989 Yeah. 217 00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:05,407 I have a serious problem. 218 00:05:05,449 --> 00:05:06,992 That had better be true. 219 00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:15,918 Cool. 220 00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:15,918 Cool, cool, cool. 221 00:05:25,719 --> 00:05:27,137 I am Kickpuncher. 222 00:05:27,178 --> 00:05:29,514 You are in violation 223 00:05:27,178 --> 00:05:29,514 of future law. 224 00:05:29,556 --> 00:05:31,725 (MIMICS LASER BEAM, 225 00:05:29,556 --> 00:05:31,725 EXPLOSION) 226 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,435 Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 227 00:05:33,477 --> 00:05:34,770 Pew! Pew! 228 00:05:39,232 --> 00:05:41,485 Oh. 229 00:05:39,232 --> 00:05:41,485 Damn it, come on. 230 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,032 What are you doing? 231 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,032 What? 232 00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:49,493 What... 233 00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:49,493 What are you doing? 234 00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,202 Making a costume 235 00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,202 for a movie premiere. 236 00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:52,704 Annie banned glue guns 237 00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:52,704 from the apartment 238 00:05:52,746 --> 00:05:54,372 after an incident 239 00:05:52,746 --> 00:05:54,372 so hilarious that 240 00:05:52,746 --> 00:05:54,372 even describing it 241 00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:55,958 would narratively eclipse 242 00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:55,958 what's happening here. 243 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,085 What's happening here? 244 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,085 You and me bonding. 245 00:05:58,127 --> 00:05:59,795 Check it out. 246 00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:04,883 Tell me the truth. 247 00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:04,883 If you were a 248 00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:04,883 post-apocalyptic survivor... 249 00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:08,053 I would raise goats, 250 00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:08,053 hoard cinnamon, 251 00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:08,053 and travel only at night. 252 00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:10,848 But, please, I have 253 00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:10,848 some work to do here. 254 00:06:10,889 --> 00:06:11,974 Just one thing. 255 00:06:10,889 --> 00:06:11,974 Watch this. 256 00:06:12,016 --> 00:06:14,183 Initiate ballistic foam. 257 00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,115 Oops. 258 00:06:28,157 --> 00:06:30,117 What the hell? 259 00:06:28,157 --> 00:06:30,117 Sorry. 260 00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:32,619 You just destroyed 261 00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:32,619 five hours of work! 262 00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,454 I'll clean it up. 263 00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,454 No, you don't touch it! 264 00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:40,377 I know 265 00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:40,377 this is bad timing, 266 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,629 but I should go if 267 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,629 I'm gonna make 268 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,629 the movie, so... 269 00:06:45,256 --> 00:06:46,884 What are you doing? 270 00:06:45,256 --> 00:06:46,884 Oh. 271 00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:49,344 Something nobody ever does. 272 00:06:49,386 --> 00:06:50,971 Teaching you consequences. 273 00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,808 But I have to go. 274 00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,808 But you can't. 275 00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,309 Huh, isn't that crazy? 276 00:06:56,351 --> 00:06:58,227 You ever been grounded? 277 00:06:56,351 --> 00:06:58,227 You ever been punished? 278 00:06:58,269 --> 00:07:00,189 Do you have any idea 279 00:06:58,269 --> 00:07:00,189 what it feels like 280 00:07:00,229 --> 00:07:01,648 to be refused something? 281 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:04,275 I know what it 282 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:04,275 feels like when people 283 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:04,275 try to control me. 284 00:07:04,317 --> 00:07:05,443 You should know 285 00:07:04,317 --> 00:07:05,443 it never goes their way. 286 00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:06,945 Ooh. 287 00:07:06,987 --> 00:07:09,614 And what "kicky-punch" 288 00:07:06,987 --> 00:07:09,614 movie is that from? 289 00:07:09,656 --> 00:07:10,991 The ones you've seen 290 00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:12,993 or the one I'm gonna 291 00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:12,993 watch you miss? 292 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:22,377 I said I was sorry. 293 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,337 I'm sorry 294 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,337 I punched my landlord, 295 00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:26,464 but I'm not gettin' 296 00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:26,464 my deposit back. 297 00:07:26,506 --> 00:07:27,883 That's an example 298 00:07:26,506 --> 00:07:27,883 of you being punished 299 00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,093 for choosing 300 00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,093 to hurt someone. 301 00:07:29,134 --> 00:07:30,427 I wrecked your papers 302 00:07:29,134 --> 00:07:30,427 by accident. 303 00:07:30,468 --> 00:07:33,138 You chose to spray 304 00:07:30,468 --> 00:07:33,138 this crap on purpose 305 00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:35,224 because you didn't care 306 00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:35,224 what happened. 307 00:07:35,265 --> 00:07:36,349 You know, 308 00:07:35,265 --> 00:07:36,349 let me tell you something. 309 00:07:36,391 --> 00:07:38,102 For five years, 310 00:07:36,391 --> 00:07:38,102 I have watched people 311 00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:39,853 walk around 312 00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:39,853 on your eggshells. 313 00:07:39,895 --> 00:07:43,273 "Oh, Abed. 314 00:07:39,895 --> 00:07:43,273 He's so imaginative, 315 00:07:39,895 --> 00:07:43,273 so magical. 316 00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:45,025 "Everybody hide 317 00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:45,025 their hamburgers! 318 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:48,153 "If Abed sees a hamburger, 319 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:48,153 we'll all travel in time. 320 00:07:48,195 --> 00:07:50,114 "Let's eat cookies 321 00:07:48,195 --> 00:07:50,114 and ice cream 322 00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:52,365 "and dress in pajamas 323 00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:52,365 in the middle of the day." 324 00:07:52,407 --> 00:07:55,285 I watched 325 00:07:52,407 --> 00:07:55,285 my third wife die! 326 00:07:58,371 --> 00:08:00,207 You think I'm spoiled? 327 00:08:00,249 --> 00:08:02,000 And you think 328 00:08:00,249 --> 00:08:02,000 I'm spoiled because 329 00:08:00,249 --> 00:08:02,000 it's never occurred 330 00:08:02,042 --> 00:08:03,961 to anyone to do this? 331 00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,712 You're not the Marco Polo 332 00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,712 of bullying me. 333 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,714 You're just another 334 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,714 tourist taking pictures 335 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,714 of a great, big wall. 336 00:08:07,756 --> 00:08:09,340 Oh, you're gonna 337 00:08:07,756 --> 00:08:09,340 make me cry. 338 00:08:09,382 --> 00:08:10,801 When's the last time someone 339 00:08:09,382 --> 00:08:10,801 physically limited you? 340 00:08:10,842 --> 00:08:12,219 Oh, just now. 341 00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,888 You physically 342 00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,888 ruined my drawings. 343 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,308 Drawings of what? 344 00:08:19,893 --> 00:08:21,352 You're an artist? 345 00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:25,190 I destroyed 346 00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:25,190 something valuable? 347 00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:30,570 Looked like you 348 00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:30,570 were doodling chickens. 349 00:08:31,321 --> 00:08:32,614 He is a duck! 350 00:08:32,656 --> 00:08:34,199 Uh-oh. 351 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,536 Hey! 352 00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:41,165 You're not allowed in there. 353 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:43,374 Well, I just did 354 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:43,374 a one-man show 355 00:08:43,416 --> 00:08:45,127 for a little audience 356 00:08:43,416 --> 00:08:45,127 that would beg to disagree. 357 00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:48,046 Audience? 358 00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:48,046 In there? 359 00:08:48,088 --> 00:08:50,674 We haven't had a single 360 00:08:48,088 --> 00:08:50,674 person or performance 361 00:08:50,715 --> 00:08:54,803 in that theater 362 00:08:50,715 --> 00:08:54,803 since the 1997 fire. 363 00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:56,763 24 people died. 364 00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:00,100 So what have 365 00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:00,100 you guys been up to? 366 00:09:00,142 --> 00:09:01,434 Well, this. 367 00:09:00,142 --> 00:09:01,434 Raising money. 368 00:09:01,476 --> 00:09:03,228 Organizing. 369 00:09:01,476 --> 00:09:03,228 Trying to make a difference. 370 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:06,273 I'm impressed, 371 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:06,273 and embarrassed. 372 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:06,273 I sold out. 373 00:09:06,315 --> 00:09:07,774 We sold out. 374 00:09:06,315 --> 00:09:07,774 You did not sell out. 375 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,652 I'm going to 376 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,652 community college 377 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,652 to start a career. 378 00:09:10,694 --> 00:09:11,945 We're in real estate. 379 00:09:11,987 --> 00:09:14,281 We own the building 380 00:09:11,987 --> 00:09:14,281 we're standing in. 381 00:09:14,323 --> 00:09:16,366 Wow. 382 00:09:14,323 --> 00:09:16,366 You guys did sell out! 383 00:09:16,407 --> 00:09:18,409 I know! 384 00:09:18,451 --> 00:09:20,620 I should introduce 385 00:09:18,451 --> 00:09:20,620 myself to her friends. 386 00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:21,955 I knew it! 387 00:09:21,997 --> 00:09:23,581 You don't have 388 00:09:21,997 --> 00:09:23,581 a drinking problem! 389 00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,126 You have feelings for Britta, 390 00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,126 you disgusting monster! 391 00:09:26,168 --> 00:09:27,919 Fine. Yes. 392 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:29,087 Something about 393 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:29,087 everybody liking her 394 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:29,087 turns me on. 395 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:30,505 Ugh. 396 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:30,505 It's a problem I have. 397 00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:32,924 I hated Reese's pieces 398 00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:32,924 before ET. Ate them, sorry. 399 00:09:32,966 --> 00:09:34,301 You're a bad friend! 400 00:09:34,343 --> 00:09:36,178 That's not fair! 401 00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,889 Wait, that's really not fair. 402 00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,889 You're a terrible friend. 403 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:40,390 She was mine first. 404 00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:41,599 And it's not like 405 00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:41,599 she belongs to anybody. 406 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:42,934 Oh, here we go. 407 00:09:42,976 --> 00:09:45,229 "Love isn't a game," 408 00:09:42,976 --> 00:09:45,229 say the guys that always win. 409 00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:47,397 And now, you're going 410 00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:47,397 to go pull a Dane Cook 411 00:09:47,438 --> 00:09:49,107 in one of those 412 00:09:47,438 --> 00:09:49,107 three movies he was in 413 00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:51,401 about Dane Cook 414 00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:51,401 getting laid by accident. 415 00:09:51,442 --> 00:09:54,529 Only it's not 416 00:09:51,442 --> 00:09:54,529 a Dane Cook movie, Jeff, 417 00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:58,200 because this time, 418 00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:58,200 someone's watching me. 419 00:09:58,242 --> 00:10:01,036 Your friend, 420 00:09:58,242 --> 00:10:01,036 British Jason Biggs. 421 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:04,414 If you never 422 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:04,414 call me Dane Cook again, 423 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:04,414 I'll stand down. 424 00:10:05,123 --> 00:10:06,208 For an hour. 425 00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,418 Okay. An hour. 426 00:10:13,048 --> 00:10:14,258 Are your duck 427 00:10:13,048 --> 00:10:14,258 drawings a secret? 428 00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:15,884 Is that why you do 'em 429 00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:15,884 when nobody's around? 430 00:10:15,926 --> 00:10:17,510 Not that it's 431 00:10:15,926 --> 00:10:17,510 any of your business, 432 00:10:17,552 --> 00:10:19,971 but I am a cartoonist 433 00:10:17,552 --> 00:10:19,971 in my spare time. 434 00:10:20,013 --> 00:10:22,724 My cartoon's about a duck. 435 00:10:20,013 --> 00:10:22,724 I was drawing him. 436 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:25,227 Does the duck have a name? 437 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:25,227 Does he have powers? 438 00:10:25,269 --> 00:10:27,520 I'm not pitching to you. 439 00:10:27,562 --> 00:10:28,939 You're afraid 440 00:10:27,562 --> 00:10:28,939 I won't like it. 441 00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:30,315 Sure. 442 00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:32,692 I've been a cab driver, 443 00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:32,692 a soldier, a cop, 444 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,528 but what terrifies me 445 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,528 the most is the opinion 446 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,655 of a manchild 447 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,655 in cardboard pants. 448 00:10:37,697 --> 00:10:40,533 Kickpuncher was a cop 449 00:10:37,697 --> 00:10:40,533 before he became a cyborg. 450 00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,578 So you were a cop 451 00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,578 before you became this. 452 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:48,166 And what were 453 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:48,166 you before this? 454 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:48,166 Were you normal? 455 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:51,128 Or do you act like this 456 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:51,128 because somebody 457 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:51,128 stuffed you in a locker? 458 00:10:51,169 --> 00:10:52,879 Is that the idea? 459 00:10:51,169 --> 00:10:52,879 Other way around. 460 00:10:54,256 --> 00:10:55,257 What else do you 461 00:10:54,256 --> 00:10:55,257 want to know about me? 462 00:10:55,299 --> 00:10:56,507 What makes you 463 00:10:55,299 --> 00:10:56,507 stop talking. 464 00:10:56,549 --> 00:10:58,176 Letting me go. 465 00:10:56,549 --> 00:10:58,176 After you miss your movie. 466 00:10:58,218 --> 00:11:00,053 Because you 467 00:10:58,218 --> 00:11:00,053 want me to suffer. 468 00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,722 For destroying 469 00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,722 your duck cartoons? 470 00:11:02,764 --> 00:11:03,932 The ones you're ashamed of? 471 00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,499 Uh, which one 472 00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,499 were you laughing at? 473 00:11:32,627 --> 00:11:34,629 No, no, no, no, no! 474 00:11:32,627 --> 00:11:34,629 Stop that! 475 00:11:34,671 --> 00:11:36,131 You're ghosts! 476 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,674 We're ghosts? 477 00:11:37,715 --> 00:11:40,093 The janitor out there 478 00:11:37,715 --> 00:11:40,093 told me you died in 1997. 479 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,970 Janitor? 480 00:11:44,055 --> 00:11:45,932 Hey! 481 00:11:45,974 --> 00:11:48,018 Those guys in there told me 482 00:11:45,974 --> 00:11:48,018 that you're the one 483 00:11:45,974 --> 00:11:48,018 that died in a fire 484 00:11:48,059 --> 00:11:49,269 and you're a ghost! 485 00:11:49,311 --> 00:11:51,896 And you just believed 'em? 486 00:11:51,938 --> 00:11:54,607 You just believed 487 00:11:51,938 --> 00:11:54,607 a bunch of ghosts? 488 00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:04,075 Have you guys 489 00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:07,578 seen that billboard 490 00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:07,578 on Water Street 491 00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:07,578 for Consensual perfume? 492 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,498 The one with the man chasing 493 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,498 the woman through the grass 494 00:12:09,538 --> 00:12:11,124 and it says, 495 00:12:09,538 --> 00:12:11,124 "Proven in its field"? 496 00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:12,334 Yeah, proven in its field 497 00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:14,627 and in labs on 498 00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:14,627 the eyeballs of rabbits. 499 00:12:14,669 --> 00:12:17,464 We should make it say that! 500 00:12:14,669 --> 00:12:17,464 Who's got the spray paint? 501 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,800 No, guys, I'm serious! 502 00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,844 Doug and Janet, 503 00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,844 you're on lookout. 504 00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:26,056 Michael works the ladder. 505 00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:26,056 I will banksy that mother! 506 00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:28,850 Come on, guys, we gotta 507 00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:28,850 start taking risks again. 508 00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:31,936 Well, that's convenient for 509 00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:31,936 the one with nothing to lose. 510 00:12:34,481 --> 00:12:38,693 Oh, so the person 511 00:12:34,481 --> 00:12:38,693 with the least wealth has 512 00:12:34,481 --> 00:12:38,693 the least valid argument? 513 00:12:38,735 --> 00:12:40,529 That's convenient. 514 00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:43,698 Britta, how many people 515 00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:43,698 have you fed this year 516 00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:43,698 besides yourself? 517 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:44,866 Oh, Janet... 518 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:44,866 No, look. 519 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:46,993 I've spent enough 520 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:46,993 time feeling bad. 521 00:12:50,955 --> 00:12:52,499 Fight the power! 522 00:13:05,554 --> 00:13:07,222 Would you like to go... 523 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,723 Yeah. 524 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,723 Yeah? 525 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,892 Oh, my God. 526 00:13:25,031 --> 00:13:26,657 These are really good. 527 00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:29,786 It helps me to see 528 00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:29,786 why you were so upset. 529 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:31,329 Did I ruin anything 530 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:31,329 as good as what's in here? 531 00:13:31,371 --> 00:13:33,290 Ah, just practice drawings. 532 00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:36,376 I have to practice 533 00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:36,376 drawing the duck 534 00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:36,376 from different angles. 535 00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:39,045 It's hard when his back's 536 00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:39,045 turned three quarters 537 00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:39,045 because of the beak. 538 00:13:39,087 --> 00:13:40,422 Well... 539 00:13:41,714 --> 00:13:43,091 I'm a real jerk 540 00:13:41,714 --> 00:13:43,091 for wrecking it. 541 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,593 Ah, you didn't do it 542 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,593 on purpose. 543 00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:45,843 That doesn't 544 00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:45,843 excuse my behavior. 545 00:13:45,885 --> 00:13:47,596 No, I appreciate that. 546 00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:49,638 It's a good apology. 547 00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:49,638 You're a good kid. 548 00:13:52,058 --> 00:13:55,520 All right. Well... 549 00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:57,522 I can see from 550 00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:57,522 the clock that if I hit 551 00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:57,522 all the green lights... 552 00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:58,731 I'm sorry, 553 00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:58,731 I can't let you go. 554 00:13:58,773 --> 00:14:00,484 That'd undercut 555 00:13:58,773 --> 00:14:00,484 the larger lesson. 556 00:14:00,525 --> 00:14:02,068 Yes, the lesson being 557 00:14:00,525 --> 00:14:02,068 that you're very talented. 558 00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,987 But I have this thing. 559 00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,987 I can't walk into a movie... 560 00:14:04,028 --> 00:14:05,572 You're not 561 00:14:04,028 --> 00:14:05,572 going to the movie. 562 00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:10,034 Yes, I am. 563 00:14:10,076 --> 00:14:11,869 You need this. 564 00:14:10,076 --> 00:14:11,869 Let me go! 565 00:14:11,911 --> 00:14:14,289 This is you learning. 566 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,291 You're a bad person 567 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,291 and a bad cartoonist. 568 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,835 You go ahead. 569 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,835 Hurt my feelings. 570 00:14:18,876 --> 00:14:20,211 Oh! You have feelings, huh? 571 00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:21,879 Have you considered 572 00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:21,879 putting them into your work? 573 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:24,007 Your cartoons are 574 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:24,007 monuments to joylessness, 575 00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:25,758 nervously assembled 576 00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:25,758 jokes based on nothing 577 00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:25,758 from your life 578 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,968 or anyone's life! 579 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:28,303 You're furious at me 580 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:28,303 for being creative 581 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,638 because you want to 582 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,638 be able to create. 583 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,306 You have all this rage 584 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,306 and shame and loneliness, 585 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,932 which I don't 586 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,932 even know how to feel 587 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,932 much less understand, 588 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:34,309 and you decide 589 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:34,309 to put what on paper? 590 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,436 A duck. Jim the duck. 591 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,436 You think I'm crazy. 592 00:14:36,478 --> 00:14:37,646 You think there's 593 00:14:36,478 --> 00:14:37,646 something wrong with me. 594 00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:38,688 Jim the duck? 595 00:14:38,729 --> 00:14:40,398 Publishers are interested! 596 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,526 Oh! Yeah, well, 597 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,526 publishers are stupid. 598 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,652 Either that or you're 599 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,652 misinterpreting what was 600 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,652 probably a form letter. 601 00:14:43,693 --> 00:14:44,902 You shut up. 602 00:14:43,693 --> 00:14:44,902 You shut up. 603 00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:46,321 Now you shut up. 604 00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:46,321 You shut up. 605 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,738 Oh, are we yelling? 606 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,738 Are we yelling right now? 607 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,115 Self-centered... 608 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,115 Yelling! I'm yelling! 609 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,741 Yelling! I'm yelling, 610 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,741 I'm yelling, I'm yelling! 611 00:14:50,783 --> 00:14:53,161 And you're not talented! 612 00:14:50,783 --> 00:14:53,161 You made me miss my movie! 613 00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:58,625 You made me Miss my movie. 614 00:15:11,346 --> 00:15:14,474 In the words of your 615 00:15:11,346 --> 00:15:14,474 hacky duck, "What the hell?" 616 00:15:20,855 --> 00:15:22,399 Do you like music? 617 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,900 Everyone likes music. 618 00:15:23,941 --> 00:15:26,069 What are you, a fish? 619 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:29,614 I have... Ooh, I tell you 620 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:29,614 what we could listen to. 621 00:15:29,656 --> 00:15:32,325 Do you know 622 00:15:29,656 --> 00:15:32,325 Rimples and Splikket? 623 00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,536 They were the British 624 00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,536 Laurel and Hardy. 625 00:15:34,578 --> 00:15:37,455 (UNINTELLIGIBLE BANTER 626 00:15:34,578 --> 00:15:37,455 ON TAPE) 627 00:15:37,497 --> 00:15:39,999 Most of their stuff 628 00:15:37,497 --> 00:15:39,999 is timeless, but you 629 00:15:37,497 --> 00:15:39,999 do need to know 630 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,001 that the prime minister 631 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,001 went to Oxford, 632 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:45,422 not Cambridge, 633 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:45,422 as the sketch implies. 634 00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:46,715 Are they speaking English? 635 00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:50,051 Okay. 636 00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:50,051 '80s German techno it is. 637 00:15:52,011 --> 00:15:53,388 Do you have any friends? 638 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,931 I'm sorry? 639 00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:57,267 I've been defining 640 00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:57,267 myself with reactions 641 00:15:57,308 --> 00:15:59,686 to and from other people 642 00:15:57,308 --> 00:15:59,686 my whole life. 643 00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,564 Now I feel worthless 644 00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,564 just because I'm worthless 645 00:16:02,606 --> 00:16:04,107 in relation to my friends, 646 00:16:04,148 --> 00:16:06,568 which means 647 00:16:04,148 --> 00:16:06,568 they're not my friends. 648 00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:07,944 Who are your friends? 649 00:16:07,985 --> 00:16:09,696 Well, there's 650 00:16:07,985 --> 00:16:09,696 my neighbor, Pat. 651 00:16:09,738 --> 00:16:11,822 I try to stay 652 00:16:09,738 --> 00:16:11,822 on his good side. 653 00:16:09,738 --> 00:16:11,822 I owe him money. 654 00:16:11,864 --> 00:16:14,242 Uh, Jeff. 655 00:16:11,864 --> 00:16:14,242 I'd call you a friend. 656 00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:16,119 Well, in fact, 657 00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:16,119 I'd call you a... 658 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,287 Oh, that's right. 659 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,705 You and Jeff have actually 660 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,705 known each other 661 00:16:18,747 --> 00:16:20,457 longer than anybody, 662 00:16:18,747 --> 00:16:20,457 huh? 663 00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:22,459 I always forget that. 664 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,834 I guess 'cause 665 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,834 you guys don't really 666 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,834 act like friends. 667 00:16:26,921 --> 00:16:29,799 Yeah, I guess not so much. 668 00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:32,802 Where are we going? 669 00:16:35,639 --> 00:16:40,851 Well, I think 670 00:16:35,639 --> 00:16:40,851 you should go home 671 00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:44,939 because you're having 672 00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:44,939 an existential crisis, 673 00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,941 and the best lesson 674 00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,941 you could take away from it 675 00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:50,861 is that you are someone, 676 00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:50,861 even when you're by yourself. 677 00:16:50,903 --> 00:16:53,281 I think you're right. 678 00:16:50,903 --> 00:16:53,281 Thank you. 679 00:16:53,323 --> 00:16:54,865 And please don't 680 00:16:53,323 --> 00:16:54,865 take offense at this, 681 00:16:54,907 --> 00:16:56,867 but thank you 682 00:16:54,907 --> 00:16:56,867 for not hitting on me. 683 00:16:56,909 --> 00:17:00,037 I was just vulnerable enough 684 00:16:56,909 --> 00:17:00,037 to do something really stupid. 685 00:17:02,081 --> 00:17:03,708 What's wrong? 686 00:17:02,081 --> 00:17:03,708 Nothing. Nothing. 687 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,460 It's nothing. 688 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,460 It's the... 689 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:08,630 The stupid steering 690 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:08,630 wheel is on the wrong 691 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:08,630 side of the car. 692 00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:16,805 What are you doing here? 693 00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:16,805 I want to show 694 00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:16,805 you something. 695 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:23,019 What's this? 696 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,146 It's a script I wrote 697 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,146 about a cop on the edge. 698 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:27,398 Troy thought 699 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:27,398 it was hilarious. 700 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,192 I didn't have 701 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,192 the heart to tell him 702 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,192 it wasn't a comedy. 703 00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:30,610 Why are you 704 00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:30,610 giving this to me? 705 00:17:30,652 --> 00:17:32,445 I know all the tricks 706 00:17:30,652 --> 00:17:32,445 and tropes of filmmaking, 707 00:17:32,487 --> 00:17:33,613 but what I'm missing 708 00:17:32,487 --> 00:17:33,613 is what I think 709 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:35,615 the critics 710 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:35,615 call "substance," 711 00:17:35,657 --> 00:17:37,367 which is you 712 00:17:35,657 --> 00:17:37,367 more than me. 713 00:17:37,408 --> 00:17:39,076 You want 714 00:17:37,408 --> 00:17:39,076 to be film partners? 715 00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:49,920 "It's time for justice. 716 00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:49,920 Police justice." 717 00:17:49,962 --> 00:17:53,007 Wait, the character's name 718 00:17:49,962 --> 00:17:53,007 is "Police Justice"? 719 00:17:53,049 --> 00:17:54,050 Mmm-hmm. 720 00:17:54,091 --> 00:17:56,302 Yeah, I think 721 00:17:54,091 --> 00:17:56,302 I may be able to help. 722 00:17:57,512 --> 00:17:58,929 I'm sorry 723 00:17:57,512 --> 00:17:58,929 for the stuff I said. 724 00:18:01,932 --> 00:18:03,184 Me too. 725 00:18:03,976 --> 00:18:05,144 Sit down. 726 00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:12,276 You drink Scotch? 727 00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:13,944 No. 728 00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:13,944 You're gonna. 729 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,908 Hey, handsome. 730 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,908 This stool taken? 731 00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:21,244 Struck out, huh? 732 00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:23,246 If that makes 733 00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:23,246 you feel better. 734 00:18:23,287 --> 00:18:27,876 Or maybe I just 735 00:18:23,287 --> 00:18:27,876 realized that I was 736 00:18:23,287 --> 00:18:27,876 spending the whole night 737 00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:29,878 getting to third base 738 00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:29,878 with the wrong person. 739 00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:33,798 You're a good friend, 740 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,300 and I don't say that 741 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,300 often enough. 742 00:18:36,342 --> 00:18:37,886 That's really nice. 743 00:18:37,927 --> 00:18:39,763 But you can't 744 00:18:37,927 --> 00:18:39,763 have sex with me. 745 00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:41,765 How about 746 00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:41,765 we have these drinks 747 00:18:41,806 --> 00:18:45,852 and then not have sex, 748 00:18:41,806 --> 00:18:45,852 with anyone, together? 749 00:18:45,894 --> 00:18:47,103 Sounds good. 750 00:18:48,145 --> 00:18:49,939 Cheers. 751 00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,400 So a 9-millimeter's actually 752 00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,400 better than a 10-millimeter? 753 00:18:52,442 --> 00:18:53,943 Millimeter don't make 754 00:18:52,442 --> 00:18:53,943 no difference. 755 00:18:53,984 --> 00:18:55,862 Bullets just kinda kill you. 756 00:18:55,904 --> 00:18:57,363 "Bullets just 757 00:18:55,904 --> 00:18:57,363 kinda kill you." 758 00:18:57,405 --> 00:18:58,948 Are you quoting something? 759 00:18:57,405 --> 00:18:58,948 Can I use that? 760 00:18:59,198 --> 00:19:00,658 Yeah. 761 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,910 You left your handkerchief 762 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,910 at my place last night. 763 00:19:01,951 --> 00:19:03,953 Ah! 764 00:19:01,951 --> 00:19:03,953 We had a boys' night. 765 00:19:03,994 --> 00:19:06,706 A bottle of booze, 766 00:19:03,994 --> 00:19:06,706 an argument about sports cars. 767 00:19:06,748 --> 00:19:09,667 And I cut my hand trying 768 00:19:06,748 --> 00:19:09,667 to prove that I can whittle. 769 00:19:09,709 --> 00:19:10,877 Me too. 770 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,713 Oh, hey. 771 00:19:13,755 --> 00:19:14,923 How was your night? 772 00:19:13,755 --> 00:19:14,923 Great. 773 00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:18,384 I had a monumental evening 774 00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:18,384 by myself. 775 00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:21,137 Oh! 776 00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:21,137 Oh, almost feel left out. 777 00:19:21,178 --> 00:19:23,473 Well, we've had our 778 00:19:21,178 --> 00:19:23,473 share of focus lately. 779 00:19:23,514 --> 00:19:24,974 Mmm-hmm. 780 00:19:23,514 --> 00:19:24,974 Speak for yourself. 781 00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,602 Uh-oh. 782 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,896 I'm fine. 783 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,896 I just, um... 784 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:32,982 Do you guys 785 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:32,982 believe in ghosts? 786 00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:35,860 And if you do, 787 00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:35,860 do you believe 788 00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:38,321 what those ghosts tell you 789 00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:38,321 about other ghosts? 790 00:19:38,362 --> 00:19:40,782 Chang, you cannot 791 00:19:38,362 --> 00:19:40,782 be on the committee 792 00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,992 if you're going 793 00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,992 to be actively insane. 794 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:46,663 I'm not insane. 795 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:46,663 I swear. I just, um... 796 00:19:46,704 --> 00:19:48,957 Had a weird experience 797 00:19:46,704 --> 00:19:48,957 at the theater last night. 798 00:19:48,998 --> 00:19:50,875 You were there? 799 00:19:48,998 --> 00:19:50,875 Yeah, you were there? 800 00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:52,042 What do you mean? 801 00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:52,042 Of course I was. 802 00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:53,753 Huh, I guess 803 00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:53,753 we just didn't see you. 804 00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:58,508 Well, 805 00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:58,508 the ants were people. 806 00:19:58,549 --> 00:20:00,802 The queen ant 807 00:19:58,549 --> 00:20:00,802 was an oil company. 808 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,098 What if I don't exist? 809 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,725 Oh, I got this. 810 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,978 I had a very similar 811 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,978 night last night. 812 00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:13,230 Go home, 813 00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:13,230 light some candles, 814 00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:13,230 and take a bath. 815 00:20:13,272 --> 00:20:15,065 Okay, coolsies. 816 00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,845 Hey! 817 00:20:43,887 --> 00:20:45,596 I was thinking 818 00:20:43,887 --> 00:20:45,596 off-campus lunch. 819 00:20:45,638 --> 00:20:47,306 What's that Tex-Mex 820 00:20:45,638 --> 00:20:47,306 place you mentioned? 821 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:50,100 Salsa Von Taco's? 822 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:50,100 Read my mind! 823 00:20:50,142 --> 00:20:51,435 Oh. 824 00:20:51,978 --> 00:20:53,521 Oh! 825 00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,231 No, no. 826 00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,231 Oh, no, no, no, no. 827 00:20:55,272 --> 00:20:56,941 No, no, no, no, no. 828 00:20:56,983 --> 00:20:58,776 Nah. 829 00:20:56,983 --> 00:20:58,776 Oh, okay. Yeah. 830 00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:00,403 Oh. 831 00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:00,403 No, wha... Let's... 832 00:21:00,444 --> 00:21:01,696 No. 833 00:21:00,444 --> 00:21:01,696 No, no, no. 834 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,989 Well, okay. 835 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,989 Ah. 836 00:21:03,031 --> 00:21:04,198 You... You just... 837 00:21:03,031 --> 00:21:04,198 Eh... 838 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,909 Ah. Oh, okay. 839 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,909 Ah. 840 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:08,536 I... I just don't like 841 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:08,536 being left behind! 842 00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:11,163 My father got drunk in pubs 843 00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:11,163 and left me in my room 844 00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:11,163 with nothing! 845 00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:12,665 So did mine! 846 00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:13,917 Oh, why would he do that? 847 00:21:13,958 --> 00:21:15,251 Why do they do that? 848 00:21:15,292 --> 00:21:16,627 Why? 849 00:21:16,669 --> 00:21:18,629 Why do they do that? 850 00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:22,216 I won't go to 851 00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:22,216 that Tex-Mex place. 852 00:21:22,258 --> 00:21:24,886 Oh, that's all 853 00:21:22,258 --> 00:21:24,886 I wanted you to say. 854 00:21:24,928 --> 00:21:26,345 Hmm? 855 00:21:24,928 --> 00:21:26,345 Hmm? 856 00:21:27,263 --> 00:21:28,097 Did you 857 00:21:27,263 --> 00:21:28,097 get any of that?