1
00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:08,662
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,

2
00:00:08,696 --> 00:00:11,229
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,

3
00:00:11,263 --> 00:00:13,129
Cobra, Cobra.

4
00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:14,928
Cobra!

5
00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:16,828
Destroy the Taj Mahal.

6
00:00:16,863 --> 00:00:19,229
Cobra!

7
00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:25,862
Not if G.I. Joe can help it.

8
00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,229
Roadblock, deep six.

9
00:00:27,263 --> 00:00:28,695
Hold off those hiss tanks.

10
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,862
- Yo, Joe!
- Hat Muffs, Pit Take,

11
00:00:30,896 --> 00:00:32,962
shoot down those rattlers.

12
00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:37,029
Um, excuse me, sir.

13
00:00:37,063 --> 00:00:39,095
Why is Cobra attacking a tourist attraction

14
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:40,262
with zero tactical value,

15
00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:41,828
and with all due respect to India,

16
00:00:41,863 --> 00:00:43,095
why are we defending it?

17
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,695
Tightship, you can overhaul G.I. Joe

18
00:00:44,729 --> 00:00:45,828
when you're commander.

19
00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:47,895
Which will clearly happen any day now,

20
00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,828
as long as your
stay on full display.

21
00:00:49,863 --> 00:00:52,162
Whoa, Buzzkill, language.

22
00:00:52,196 --> 00:00:53,662
No, you can't have ice cream for lunch.

23
00:00:53,696 --> 00:00:54,895
Put your brother on the phone.

24
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,095
Three Kids, put down that phone.

25
00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:57,662
We're in the middle of a battle.

26
00:00:57,696 --> 00:00:58,962
Oh, screw you, Flint.

27
00:00:58,996 --> 00:01:00,529
I'm in a battle called having three kids.

28
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,296
Guys, we're a squad.
You're making me look bad.

29
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:05,628
Well, if you're so great, Wingman,

30
00:01:05,663 --> 00:01:07,296
show us how it's done.

31
00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:09,828
With pleasure.

32
00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:17,095
We'll meet again, G.I. Joe.

33
00:01:18,463 --> 00:01:19,795
Good shooting, Wingman,

34
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,029
but it looks like Destro's getting away.

35
00:01:21,063 --> 00:01:22,862
Not necessarily, sir.

36
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:26,029
Jeez!

37
00:01:26,063 --> 00:01:27,296
What? Oh, no. What are you doing?

38
00:01:27,330 --> 00:01:29,695
Hey! Are you crazy? Wha... uh...

39
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:37,795
Yo, Joe!

40
00:01:39,963 --> 00:01:41,828
What?

41
00:01:41,863 --> 00:01:44,095
What, we're... we're
not saying it together?

42
00:01:46,829 --> 00:01:49,129
Yo, Joe!

43
00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:17,362
G.I. Joe is the code name

44
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:19,496
for America's daring, awesomely trained,

45
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,962
awesome mission force.

46
00:02:20,996 --> 00:02:22,662
Its purpose... to fight Cobra,

47
00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:24,462
because they're terrorists.

48
00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:26,595
Look, I think I'm over-explaining it.

49
00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:27,795
The bad guys are snakes,

50
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,929
and the good guys are army people.

51
00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:49,824
Wingman, Three Kids, Buzzkill, Tightship,

52
00:02:49,858 --> 00:02:51,624
you stand accused of violence,

53
00:02:51,658 --> 00:02:54,291
suggestive language, and mature situations

54
00:02:54,326 --> 00:02:57,024
unbecoming of G.I. Joe. What say you?

55
00:02:57,059 --> 00:02:58,591
Look, I understand this is the first time

56
00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:01,591
a G.I. Joe has killed anyone
in all of recorded history.

57
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:03,191
- However...
- However, let's be truthful.

58
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,024
This is a very disorganized militia.

59
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,557
Yeah, what's anyone's rank?

60
00:03:06,592 --> 00:03:08,657
We're all just dressed like
serial killers and strippers.

61
00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:09,958
I have three kids.

62
00:03:09,992 --> 00:03:11,724
You guys are not helping.

63
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,891
Duke, Flint, Scarlett,

64
00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:16,657
yes, it's true I killed Destro.

65
00:03:16,777 --> 00:03:18,443
And I promise not to do it again.

66
00:03:18,476 --> 00:03:19,842
But is it really a crime?

67
00:03:19,877 --> 00:03:21,876
Is Cobra not a ruthless
terrorist organization

68
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,509
determined to rule the world?

69
00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:25,009
And if we never kill them,

70
00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:27,443
are we not basically on their side?

71
00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:29,943
And won't this war therefore last forever

72
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,676
unless we finish killing Cobra

73
00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:33,709
or start killing ourselves?

74
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,276
How long are we in here, Cold Shoulder?

75
00:03:38,311 --> 00:03:39,676
Cold Shoulder?

76
00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:40,909
What's with that guy?

77
00:03:40,944 --> 00:03:42,976
"Start killing Cobra or killing ourselves"?

78
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:45,310
We were in the fourth
down. It was a hail mary.

79
00:03:45,344 --> 00:03:47,809
This place is a graveyard
for G.I. Joe rejects.

80
00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:49,176
Look who's in here...

81
00:03:49,211 --> 00:03:51,410
Deep Dish, Shark Arms,

82
00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:53,143
Weird Head, Home Free,

83
00:03:53,177 --> 00:03:55,509
Place Holder, Sleep Apnea, and us!

84
00:03:55,543 --> 00:03:56,709
I have three kids.

85
00:03:56,743 --> 00:03:58,410
This is the worst day of my life.

86
00:03:58,443 --> 00:04:00,575
Is it life?

87
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,842
My name is Fourth Wall.

88
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:04,842
And I believe that what we perceive as life

89
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:08,276
is actually a syndicated
children's cartoon.

90
00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:10,676
What? Shut up, Fourth Wall.

91
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,943
If this were a cartoon,
there'd be a word for "cartoon"

92
00:04:12,977 --> 00:04:15,676
in our language, which there isn't.

93
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:17,676
There'd also be less movement, less detail,

94
00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:19,243
and constant lip-sync mistakes.

95
00:04:19,277 --> 00:04:21,310
What if I told you there was more,

96
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,976
a higher reality,

97
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,343
with more than 65 colors and
at least three dimensions?

98
00:04:25,377 --> 00:04:26,676
Then I guess someone
would have to lock you up

99
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:27,876
with the crazy people.

100
00:04:27,910 --> 00:04:29,109
Oh, good.

101
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,509
I recently infiltrated
a secret Cobra dig site,

102
00:04:32,543 --> 00:04:34,076
code name: Greendale.

103
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,976
What did you say?

104
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,976
Cobra has discovered an
ancient buried structure

105
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:42,009
filled with strange things.

106
00:04:42,044 --> 00:04:43,409
Look.

107
00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:45,976
- Oh, yeah, look at that.
- It's a child's toy.

108
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,343
The toy was more real
than this at Greendale.

109
00:04:48,377 --> 00:04:49,409
Ow, oof.

110
00:04:49,443 --> 00:04:51,976
What is that word?

111
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,009
Greendale?

112
00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:05,475
Cobra's out to take over the world,

113
00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:06,943
but G.I. Joe is there.

114
00:05:06,977 --> 00:05:08,609
G.I. Joe must be destroyed.

115
00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:10,310
Cobra hiss coming for attack!

116
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,943
It's the new G.I. Joe submachopter,

117
00:05:12,977 --> 00:05:13,943
piloted by Wingman.

118
00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:16,276
- Retreat!
- Yo, Joe!

119
00:05:16,311 --> 00:05:17,843
We are in a toy commercial!

120
00:05:17,877 --> 00:05:20,476
I can't hear you when
you're covered in rocks.

121
00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:22,210
It doesn't hurt because it isn't real.

122
00:05:22,244 --> 00:05:24,243
- Good job, Wingman.
- Thank you, Duke.

123
00:05:24,277 --> 00:05:26,343
G.I. Joe is my entire life.

124
00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,276
Yo, Joe!

125
00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:30,110
All other figures and
vehicles sold separately.

126
00:05:31,311 --> 00:05:34,243
- Wingman, what happened?
- I don't know.

127
00:05:34,277 --> 00:05:36,409
He clearly has a connection
to the non-cartoon reality.

128
00:05:36,443 --> 00:05:37,476
When I mentioned Greenda...

129
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,342
Shut up. Stop saying that word.

130
00:05:39,376 --> 00:05:40,909
You're some kind of demon man,

131
00:05:40,944 --> 00:05:43,542
and... and your outfit
is three layers of racist.

132
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,642
Oh, my God, he's having an attack.

133
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,176
Jeff, can you hear us? It's Annie.

134
00:05:46,211 --> 00:05:47,442
What did you just call me?

135
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,709
Jeffrey, do you know where you are?

136
00:05:48,744 --> 00:05:49,976
Be quiet. Leave me alone.

137
00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:52,709
I... I don't belong here.
I belong in G.I. Joe.

138
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,776
Ow! And don't touch me. Who
wears a saw on their arm?

139
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,110
The first time I met Destro,

140
00:06:04,144 --> 00:06:05,876
he asked me if he should have

141
00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,110
his entire head coated in chrome.

142
00:06:08,144 --> 00:06:10,009
I said, "no. How would you do that?"

143
00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:12,476
How would that even work?

144
00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:15,376
Look, I'm not good at eulogies

145
00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:17,043
because I've never had to give one.

146
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,709
All I want to know is,
how did G.I. Joe do this?

147
00:06:20,744 --> 00:06:23,676
We've been shooting at each
other and missing for 20 years.

148
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:24,843
Now all of a sudden...

149
00:06:24,877 --> 00:06:26,609
Unbelievable. What?

150
00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:27,709
Cobra Commander,

151
00:06:27,744 --> 00:06:29,909
it's Vice Cobra Assistant Commander.

152
00:06:29,944 --> 00:06:31,743
We just got a very interesting energy surge

153
00:06:31,777 --> 00:06:32,909
at the Greendale site.

154
00:06:32,944 --> 00:06:35,809
Oh, okay. That's super fascinating.

155
00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:37,743
Um, Destro's dead!

156
00:06:37,777 --> 00:06:40,876
Oh, my gosh, Destro? Were you guys close?

157
00:06:40,910 --> 00:06:42,342
Were we close? Yes!

158
00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:43,542
What kind of a question is...

159
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:46,643
Okay, fine. I loved him!

160
00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:48,376
Is that what you want to hear?

161
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:49,709
Called it.

162
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,442
And we are going to find
out how this happened,

163
00:06:52,477 --> 00:06:57,409
and G.I. Joe is going to pay-bra!

164
00:06:57,443 --> 00:06:58,976
I riffed that.

165
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:00,275
No wrong answers.

166
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,076
It's a condition that comes on

167
00:07:02,111 --> 00:07:03,376
when you get to a certain weight.

168
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:04,476
Oh, I see.

169
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:05,943
So is there a Mr. Tightship, or...

170
00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:06,943
Um...

171
00:07:08,577 --> 00:07:09,676
That's a code three.

172
00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:13,210
Cobra forces are infiltrating the base.

173
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:14,876
Cobra!

174
00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:19,709
Avenge my totally platonic friend!

175
00:07:19,744 --> 00:07:21,342
Oh, great, and we're stuck in here.

176
00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:22,743
We don't have to be.

177
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:25,176
For 15 years, I have used
my trademark tablespoon

178
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,409
to excavate a tunnel,

179
00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:30,110
swallowing handfuls of
dirt and rock with my meals

180
00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,442
and listening only to Smashmouth

181
00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:33,309
in order to justify this poster.

182
00:07:33,343 --> 00:07:36,909
Now I am within inches of reaching the...

183
00:07:36,944 --> 00:07:38,709
Come on, if we help save the base,

184
00:07:38,744 --> 00:07:42,076
maybe they'll let us be G.I. Joes again.

185
00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:44,110
Battle stations!

186
00:07:44,144 --> 00:07:46,542
Snakes at 6:00.

187
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,643
Okay, now remember... don't kill anybody.

188
00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:52,176
Just lay down a suppressive fire,

189
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,275
like this.

190
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:56,743
Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry.

191
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,043
Oh, God.

192
00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:00,943
Oh, man. Oh, darn it.

193
00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:02,509
Yeah, I'd say they're suppressed.

194
00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,910
Jeez. Aw, was that lifeline?

195
00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:05,943
Sorry!

196
00:08:05,977 --> 00:08:07,342
Someone's killing people.

197
00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:09,076
It's Wingman! He's escaped!

198
00:08:09,111 --> 00:08:11,876
Lay down a suppressive fire!

199
00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:13,676
They're suppressive firing at us!

200
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,743
I think we'll be okay.

201
00:08:14,777 --> 00:08:16,143
Remember, this is all just a cartoon

202
00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:17,175
about action figures for kids.

203
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:18,342
Shut up, Fourth Wall,

204
00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,442
and get into the new G.I. Joe submachopter

205
00:08:20,477 --> 00:08:23,175
with twin rocket launchers
and rotating attack jet.

206
00:08:27,111 --> 00:08:29,442
All I want to do is be a good G.I. Joe.

207
00:08:29,477 --> 00:08:31,043
What's wrong with me?

208
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,743
I'm not sure, but I think our
answers will be at Greendale.

209
00:08:33,777 --> 00:08:35,609
Ugh.

210
00:08:35,644 --> 00:08:36,776
Whoops.

211
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:37,876
Shouldn't somebody be flying the plane?

212
00:08:37,911 --> 00:08:39,276
- It's submachopter.
- Whatever.

213
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,409
Will somebody grab the stick?

214
00:08:40,443 --> 00:08:42,509
I don't wanna die up here! Oh, Lord!

215
00:08:46,774 --> 00:08:48,706
The G.I. Joe mutineers
are even worse than Cobra

216
00:08:48,741 --> 00:08:49,806
because they're traitors.

217
00:08:49,841 --> 00:08:51,873
- Buzzkill...
- All government is a lie.

218
00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:52,873
Tightship...

219
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,172
I control everything, or else!

220
00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:56,306
- Three Kids...
- My family comes first.

221
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:57,439
Fourth Wall...

222
00:08:57,474 --> 00:08:58,439
Doesn't this guy also do the voice

223
00:08:58,474 --> 00:08:59,439
for He-man commercials?

224
00:08:59,474 --> 00:09:00,640
And their nefarious,

225
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,673
ruthless leader, Wingman.

226
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:02,673
Hey, that's not true!

227
00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:04,040
I love G.I. Joe!

228
00:09:04,074 --> 00:09:05,740
I don't know, man. Seems like you hate it.

229
00:09:05,774 --> 00:09:07,373
This is all a misunderstanding.

230
00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:08,840
Tell it to the judge.

231
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:11,339
Everything is sold
separately. Assembly required.

232
00:09:11,374 --> 00:09:12,406
Nothing is happening.

233
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,540
Cartoon coffee?

234
00:09:14,574 --> 00:09:16,306
Tightship is piloting the submachopter.

235
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:18,007
At first it was Buzzkill, but
she almost crashed five times,

236
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:19,239
and when we pointed it out,

237
00:09:19,274 --> 00:09:20,773
she called us sexist
and went to the bathroom.

238
00:09:20,808 --> 00:09:22,206
You know she's smoking in there, right?

239
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,373
She broke the detector.
That's a federal crime.

240
00:09:24,407 --> 00:09:26,573
I keep having these visions.

241
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,540
Kids, little boys...

242
00:09:28,574 --> 00:09:29,706
Uh, are these visions

243
00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:31,406
we should share with the authorities?

244
00:09:31,441 --> 00:09:33,106
I want to go to this Greendale place now.

245
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,206
We're on our way.

246
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,573
Do you remember Greendale, Jeffrey?

247
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:37,606
Why did you call me that?
What's with you people?

248
00:09:37,641 --> 00:09:38,907
What do you mean, "you people"?

249
00:09:38,941 --> 00:09:40,273
- Oh!
- Nice.

250
00:09:44,158 --> 00:09:46,658
That's the entrance to the excavation site.

251
00:09:46,692 --> 00:09:48,491
How do we get past those guards?

252
00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:50,658
I think I got an idea.

253
00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:55,091
Your idea was doing exactly what we did

254
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,625
to those other guards back at headquarters?

255
00:09:56,659 --> 00:09:57,892
It was proven effective.

256
00:09:57,926 --> 00:09:59,224
I don't know, seems kind of cheap.

257
00:09:59,259 --> 00:10:01,124
From an animated perspective, very cheap.

258
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:03,992
Help me club this hatch open.

259
00:10:07,526 --> 00:10:10,158
I know this place.

260
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,525
It's filling me with a
sense of endless hours

261
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,992
for unfair wages and printers
that never have toner.

262
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,892
What is this, Major Dick?

263
00:10:17,926 --> 00:10:20,158
That is a request for hazard pay.

264
00:10:20,192 --> 00:10:21,358
Maybe you haven't heard,

265
00:10:21,392 --> 00:10:23,558
but we can actually die now.

266
00:10:23,592 --> 00:10:24,958
You know we can't afford this.

267
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,391
Oh, so we can afford to create

268
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,658
a new model of weaponized
vehicle once a week,

269
00:10:28,692 --> 00:10:31,324
but we basically get minimum
wage to risk our lives.

270
00:10:31,359 --> 00:10:33,558
Well, welcome to Cobra, Ximxam.

271
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,858
Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake?

272
00:10:35,893 --> 00:10:36,892
Suck it up, guys!

273
00:10:36,926 --> 00:10:38,358
And while I have your attention, here.

274
00:10:38,392 --> 00:10:39,825
What is this?

275
00:10:39,859 --> 00:10:42,091
We have to lower the salaries.
Our insurance is going up.

276
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,224
- No way.
- What?

277
00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:45,158
Hey, you people can actually die now.

278
00:10:45,192 --> 00:10:46,825
It affects the health plan.

279
00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:48,958
Vice Cobra Assistant Commander,

280
00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:50,491
we've been infiltrated by Joes!

281
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,625
Well?

282
00:10:52,659 --> 00:10:53,625
Protect me!

283
00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:55,391
Hello, Greendale.

284
00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,625
I understand G.I. Joe has
breached the perimeter.

285
00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,158
Please eliminate them.

286
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,825
And please don't forget this
Saturday is the Cobra fun run.

287
00:11:01,859 --> 00:11:04,358
If you miss it, you're letting
the anti-terrorists win.

288
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:06,825
Ugh, overkill.

289
00:11:06,859 --> 00:11:08,391
Yes, it's me.

290
00:11:08,426 --> 00:11:09,892
But which me

291
00:11:09,926 --> 00:11:12,124
is the real me?

292
00:11:15,692 --> 00:11:16,658
Probably the one in the middle.

293
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:17,691
The middle, right?

294
00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:20,525
Aah! Ow, my leg! Ow!

295
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,324
Now, before you fight me, G.I. Joe,

296
00:11:22,359 --> 00:11:23,491
you should be warned.

297
00:11:23,526 --> 00:11:26,291
I, Ximxam, have a twin brother named Mixmax

298
00:11:26,325 --> 00:11:27,825
that feels all my pain.

299
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:30,858
And how is that supposed to affect us?

300
00:11:30,893 --> 00:11:33,158
Psychologically?

301
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,158
Aah!

302
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:36,191
Today's soup is a carrot purée

303
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,525
with a... ow! Damn it! Aah!

304
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,024
Sorry. My twin brother is a...

305
00:11:41,058 --> 00:11:43,291
it's pointless to explain.

306
00:11:43,325 --> 00:11:44,725
- Hurts so much!
- Right?

307
00:11:44,759 --> 00:11:47,324
It shredded my meniscus!

308
00:11:47,439 --> 00:11:48,905
Whup! Whup! Whup!

309
00:11:48,939 --> 00:11:50,638
Oh! Ow, ooh, ooh.

310
00:11:50,672 --> 00:11:52,071
Shouldn't have done that. Ooh.

311
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:54,037
Nope. Don't like that sound.

312
00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,404
Incredible.

313
00:11:55,439 --> 00:11:56,571
It's as if there's
something about this place

314
00:11:56,606 --> 00:11:59,404
that feeds on ambition.

315
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:09,571
I came from here. I work here.

316
00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:12,338
My name is Jeff Winger. And you're Annie.

317
00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:14,104
And... and Shirley.

318
00:12:14,139 --> 00:12:15,605
And Abed and Britta.

319
00:12:15,639 --> 00:12:17,571
Britta? What kind of lame name is that?

320
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,037
I wanna be Buzzkill
because of my awesome saw.

321
00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:24,304
You guys are my friends in real life.

322
00:12:24,339 --> 00:12:27,037
This is my imagination or something.

323
00:12:27,072 --> 00:12:28,104
Freeze, everybody!

324
00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:29,238
Don't make me zap you!

325
00:12:29,272 --> 00:12:30,371
Craig, it's me, Jeff.

326
00:12:30,405 --> 00:12:32,471
Jeffrey! Are you okay?

327
00:12:32,506 --> 00:12:34,471
No, he's not. Take it
from an expert in delusion.

328
00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:36,238
If Jeff's hallucinating
something this cool,

329
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:37,671
something's wrong, he needs to get back.

330
00:12:37,706 --> 00:12:38,805
Wingman, do you have your wingpack,

331
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,304
- or is it sold separately?
- Here it is.

332
00:12:40,339 --> 00:12:42,204
That's good, my Fourth
Wall penetrating powers

333
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:44,371
combined with this medium's
lack of internal logic

334
00:12:44,406 --> 00:12:46,104
should allow me to come up
with an oversimplified solution.

335
00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:49,204
I'll be right back. I
have to get something.

336
00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:51,104
- What?
- The truth.

337
00:13:02,773 --> 00:13:05,471
Oh, crap.

338
00:13:07,005 --> 00:13:08,904
Ah, Jeff, while you were
gone, I figured everything out

339
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:10,438
and did everything that needs to be done.

340
00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:12,705
This may be your delusion, but
I'm still the one on the ball.

341
00:13:12,739 --> 00:13:15,138
I know why I'm here. I'm unconscious.

342
00:13:15,172 --> 00:13:17,371
Jeff Winger's unconscious, because he...

343
00:13:17,406 --> 00:13:20,071
I drank a fifth of scotch.

344
00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:22,538
And I took some pills.

345
00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,438
Jeffrey, shame on you. I have three kids.

346
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,071
Are you saying you tried to...

347
00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:28,505
No, they were these stupid youth pills

348
00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:30,338
that I bought in Koreatown.

349
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:33,671
I took them because it's my birthday and...

350
00:13:33,706 --> 00:13:36,271
- I've been lying about my age.
- Whoa.

351
00:13:36,306 --> 00:13:38,271
Yeah, it's not something I'm
really ready to deal with.

352
00:13:38,306 --> 00:13:39,405
I guess you found a way to deal with it

353
00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:40,971
unconsciously through a psychotic break.

354
00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:42,138
Happens to the best of us.

355
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:43,805
Now, these are the three layers of reality.

356
00:13:43,839 --> 00:13:45,271
We are in the cartoon layer.

357
00:13:45,306 --> 00:13:46,738
It's separated from the live-action layer

358
00:13:46,773 --> 00:13:49,538
by a dangerous mid-layer called
children's toy commercials,

359
00:13:49,572 --> 00:13:51,004
which I believe you're
seeing in your visions.

360
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,138
I've modified your wingpack
to break this barrier, and...

361
00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:55,971
- I'm not going back.
- Jeff, you have to go back.

362
00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:59,138
I don't wanna be a middle-aged
community college teacher.

363
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,038
I wanna be in G.I. Joe.

364
00:14:01,072 --> 00:14:02,305
I wanna fight for freedom

365
00:14:02,339 --> 00:14:03,904
wherever there's trouble forever.

366
00:14:03,938 --> 00:14:06,371
Jeff, that's your
ten-year-old self talking.

367
00:14:06,406 --> 00:14:08,871
You've receded into some
infantile part of your mind.

368
00:14:08,905 --> 00:14:11,538
Imaginary Britta is right.
And only imaginary Britta.

369
00:14:11,572 --> 00:14:12,805
In these visions you're having,

370
00:14:12,838 --> 00:14:14,071
a giant child is controlling you.

371
00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:15,104
You have to get away from him.

372
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:16,838
I am him! That's the point.

373
00:14:16,872 --> 00:14:19,405
I created this. I chose this.

374
00:14:19,439 --> 00:14:21,971
But do you understand
that the real Jeff Winger

375
00:14:22,005 --> 00:14:24,104
is in some kind of actual,
real medical jeopardy?

376
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:25,271
Like the kind in a one-hour drama?

377
00:14:25,306 --> 00:14:27,871
Jeff, please. I don't want you to die.

378
00:14:27,905 --> 00:14:29,038
Can you hear me?

379
00:14:29,072 --> 00:14:31,305
I'm only dying out there, Annie.

380
00:14:31,339 --> 00:14:32,505
In here we're immortal.

381
00:14:32,624 --> 00:14:33,989
Look at the rack I gave you.

382
00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:36,356
Those are gonna stay right
where they are for an eternity.

383
00:14:36,391 --> 00:14:39,490
You're welcome.

384
00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:42,156
Yo, Jobra!

385
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,690
"Yo, Jobra"?

386
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:45,690
We talked it over and realized that since

387
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:47,956
none of us can kill each
other, we might as well team up.

388
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:50,490
Seeing as we've got a common enemy.

389
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:51,690
Seize them!

390
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,089
You can't seize me.

391
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:55,189
I am the creator of your reality.

392
00:14:55,224 --> 00:14:57,822
I am Neo in the third act of the Matrix.

393
00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,822
I'm also Neo in the first
act of the second Matrix.

394
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,390
I didn't get around to
seeing the third one,

395
00:15:02,424 --> 00:15:03,456
but my guess is... oh!

396
00:15:07,387 --> 00:15:09,152
Cobra and G.I. Joe have finally united.

397
00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:10,152
Do you guys need anything?

398
00:15:10,187 --> 00:15:11,286
We could probably use some milk.

399
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,052
Let's go get some milk for G.I. Joe.

400
00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:16,386
I'll wait it out in this cell
until you guys can reeducate me.

401
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,019
Yo, Jobra!

402
00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:19,253
Yo, Jobra.

403
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,919
All figures come with
their own accessories.

404
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,653
Wingman sold separately or something.

405
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:29,419
Ah, look who'ssssss conscious again.

406
00:15:29,454 --> 00:15:31,686
You're pretty selective
with those snake "S" s.

407
00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:33,086
What are you, my life coach?

408
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,785
I'd make fun of some
physical detail about you,

409
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:36,952
but there aren't any.

410
00:15:37,077 --> 00:15:39,376
You look like some Aryan foosball figure.

411
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:41,309
Guys, you don't have to keep me prisoner.

412
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:42,742
I want what you want.

413
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,809
We can't just have you
running around, Wingman.

414
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:45,809
You're too powerful.

415
00:15:45,843 --> 00:15:47,509
So let's share the power.

416
00:15:47,544 --> 00:15:49,343
We can be gods here forever.

417
00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:51,842
For realsies?

418
00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:53,875
Absolutely. I don't wanna leave here.

419
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,775
I wanna hang out with you
guys and blow stuff up.

420
00:15:56,810 --> 00:15:59,609
Hmm. All right.

421
00:15:59,644 --> 00:16:02,276
- Yo, Jobra.
- Yo, Jobra.

422
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:03,842
Yo, Jobra.

423
00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:07,909
Say, do you mind if we ask you
a few questions about real life?

424
00:16:07,943 --> 00:16:09,309
No problem.

425
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,809
- Ask.
- So...

426
00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:14,176
What do boobies look like?

427
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:17,942
Wait. You don't know?

428
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,243
You guys have never seen a naked woman?

429
00:16:20,277 --> 00:16:22,343
You don't have to make us feel bad.

430
00:16:22,377 --> 00:16:25,209
Have you guys ever tasted scotch?

431
00:16:25,244 --> 00:16:28,742
Does scotch liquor exist here?

432
00:16:28,776 --> 00:16:30,476
You know what?

433
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:33,676
Can I just go to the bathroom real quick?

434
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,942
Sure. It's the second door
over there on the right.

435
00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:37,742
Hey! We can't go to the bathroom!

436
00:16:37,776 --> 00:16:40,243
Fool! He's getting away!

437
00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:54,243
This had better work.

438
00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:56,742
No, no, no, wait!

439
00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,209
Get off me! I wanna go home!

440
00:17:00,244 --> 00:17:02,775
Take me with you! I want
to see women's boobs!

441
00:17:02,810 --> 00:17:04,576
We can't both go!

442
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:08,009
You're slowing me down! Let go!

443
00:17:10,444 --> 00:17:14,276
I can feel it! Yes! I can feel reality!

444
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:17,176
I've never felt so alive!

445
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:20,209
Because you're fictional!
You can't survive this!

446
00:17:20,244 --> 00:17:22,343
Wait, why does my back hurt?

447
00:17:22,377 --> 00:17:24,876
Why do I just have random pains in my body?

448
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:28,309
Why is my ability to appreciate
new music diminishing?

449
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:35,176
Need to gain speed before...

450
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:37,476
Wingman is trying to escape G.I. Joe,

451
00:17:37,511 --> 00:17:38,942
and it's up to you to hold him back

452
00:17:38,977 --> 00:17:40,243
with your inner child's hand.

453
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:41,909
Damn it, I didn't make it.

454
00:17:41,943 --> 00:17:44,976
I'm not controlling him!
He's doing this himself!

455
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:45,976
Screw you, kid!

456
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:47,876
Ow! He burnt my hand.

457
00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,876
The Wingman wingpack is
not available in stores.

458
00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:51,309
You control the toy.

459
00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:53,443
You control it, my ass.

460
00:17:53,477 --> 00:17:55,776
- What is it doing?
- Making a man of you.

461
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,576
Everything sold separately.

462
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:00,942
Everyone dies eventually.

463
00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:04,076
Nobody gets out alive.

464
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:05,876
His eyes are opening.

465
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,709
Yeah, but that happens when people die too.

466
00:18:07,743 --> 00:18:10,009
- Jeff! Jeffrey!
- Wait, Britta, don't slap him!

467
00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:11,709
Jeffrey, it's me, the Dean. I'm right here.

468
00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:12,876
Wait, wait, no, no, I think you have to...

469
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:14,642
Oh, stop it, I'm awake.

470
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:15,642
Oh!

471
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:19,343
Jeff, you've been keeping
your birthday a secret?

472
00:18:19,377 --> 00:18:20,809
Yeah. Most people have cake.

473
00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:23,809
Not a fifth of scotch
and what the hell else.

474
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:26,776
"Age reverse, life extend power"?

475
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,709
This is Korean.

476
00:18:32,743 --> 00:18:34,976
- Okay, what am I?
- Chinese!

477
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:36,309
Okay, I swear to God I feel Korean.

478
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,443
Guys...

479
00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:39,443
I'm 40.

480
00:18:39,477 --> 00:18:40,575
What?

481
00:18:40,610 --> 00:18:41,842
- Wow.
- I'm so sorry.

482
00:18:41,877 --> 00:18:42,842
Yeah, we knew that.

483
00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:45,942
You know, I guess we knew

484
00:18:45,977 --> 00:18:47,776
that you had to be around 30 when we met.

485
00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,776
Yeah, and it has been five years.

486
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:52,876
And even if he had been 32,
we'd have to know he would be...

487
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:55,176
- This isn't helping.
- You guys know I'm 38, right?

488
00:18:55,210 --> 00:18:56,909
What?

489
00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:58,742
I'm kidding.

490
00:18:58,777 --> 00:19:00,476
But, Jeff, you shouldn't
almost die over a number.

491
00:19:00,511 --> 00:19:02,410
What's important are ranges of numbers.

492
00:19:02,444 --> 00:19:04,143
You're still 18 to 49 for almost a decade.

493
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,510
That's valuable to society.

494
00:19:05,543 --> 00:19:07,410
You have any more of these pills left?

495
00:19:07,444 --> 00:19:09,575
I had the craziest dream.

496
00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:10,809
It was all animated

497
00:19:10,843 --> 00:19:13,909
and a G.I. Joe cartoon,
and you were all in it.

498
00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:15,209
In it? How much?

499
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:16,742
What clothes did you draw me in?

500
00:19:16,777 --> 00:19:18,176
Mm, fully animated?

501
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:20,209
But it was all a dream
because you were unconscious.

502
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,410
Remember that Christmas when I...

503
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:23,476
Yes!

504
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,376
Jeff, here's your present.

505
00:19:26,411 --> 00:19:28,276
Slim Pickings at the hospital gift shop,

506
00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:31,575
but we made do.

507
00:19:32,643 --> 00:19:35,076
"It's a old boy."

508
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,943
- Yes.
- He is a old boy.

509
00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:38,742
He's a old boy.

510
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,609
Bring it in, guys.

511
00:19:40,643 --> 00:19:41,675
Jeff!

512
00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:43,942
Hey, listen, I got a former partner

513
00:19:43,977 --> 00:19:47,143
that's been here since
'89 in a coma, so... hmm.

514
00:19:47,177 --> 00:19:49,575
1889?

515
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,575
Winger, you're funny.

516
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,932
- This is cool!
- Make my name too.

517
00:20:02,966 --> 00:20:05,141
- What are you guys, cavemen?
- Buzzkill!

518
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,764
What you're doing is
a waste of spray paint.

519
00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:09,165
We live in a fascist police
state disguised as democracy.

520
00:20:09,199 --> 00:20:11,098
You think you're gonna
shatter that illusion

521
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:12,664
by celebrating your own
meaningless identities?

522
00:20:12,698 --> 00:20:15,165
- Is church over yet?
- Fourth Wall!

523
00:20:15,199 --> 00:20:17,298
A good syndicated cartoon
has a lesson at the end.

524
00:20:17,332 --> 00:20:18,831
But getting heavy-handed or preachy

525
00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:21,464
could turn an entire generation
into jaded, sarcastic babies.

526
00:20:21,498 --> 00:20:24,131
- Be friendly and direct.
- And keep the message simple.

527
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,931
Graffiti is bad. Go play sports.

528
00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,964
- Cool!
- I get it!

529
00:20:27,999 --> 00:20:29,797
I was trying to hold
them to a higher standard.

530
00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:31,964
If the media tells kids what
to think, all they'll know is...

531
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:32,964
And knowing is half the battle.

532
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,964
What?

533
00:20:34,965 --> 00:20:35,964
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -