1
00:00:00,598 --> 00:00:04,713
So according to the demonologist,
the gymnasium is clean.

2
00:00:04,732 --> 00:00:06,960
Jeez, we're running
out of To-Do Stars.

3
00:00:06,979 --> 00:00:09,098
- Already dealt with.
- It's hard to believe.

4
00:00:09,124 --> 00:00:12,162
Somewhere along the way, we started
turning this school around.

5
00:00:12,188 --> 00:00:13,262
Huh.

6
00:00:13,289 --> 00:00:14,577
- Hmm.
- Huh.

7
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,082
- What the hell was that?
- What was what?

8
00:00:18,095 --> 00:00:21,019
- That long, quiet lull. I don't like it.
- It's called contentment, dude.

9
00:00:21,046 --> 00:00:23,166
Exactly. We're never content. Someone's
always got to have a problem.

10
00:00:23,184 --> 00:00:26,221
I've got a problem. I don't like Abed's
problem with our lack of problems.

11
00:00:26,247 --> 00:00:27,900
- Ooh.
- Oh. Ah, okay.

12
00:00:29,253 --> 00:00:33,350
I commented on his commentary. I just
drew a circle around Abed, baby.

13
00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:36,902
I don't think it's nice
to pigeonhole people's gimmicks.

14
00:00:36,914 --> 00:00:38,761
You hear me, two voice?

15
00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:41,896
Abed, let us have a moment
of peace and stillness.

16
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,676
They're kind of rare around here.

17
00:00:43,682 --> 00:00:45,102
All I'm saying is,
calm before the storm.

18
00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:48,484
- Says the storm generator.
- All right, fine. Let's be content.

19
00:00:49,056 --> 00:00:50,869
- Hmm.
- Hmm.

20
00:00:50,894 --> 00:00:54,349
Attention, students and
faculty of Greendale.

21
00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:58,250
I pressed this button on accident
but might as well check in.

22
00:00:58,256 --> 00:00:59,657
How are you?

23
00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:00,878
Fine.

24
00:01:00,902 --> 00:01:04,985
Aw, that's nice. I'm good too.
I love you guys.

25
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:07,642
We love you too.

26
00:01:31,402 --> 00:01:34,602
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

27
00:01:35,379 --> 00:01:37,392
The information you
have requested...

28
00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:39,914
- ... is on the internet.
- Oh.

29
00:01:40,290 --> 00:01:42,477
School board, baby.

30
00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:44,473
School board
guys coming in.

31
00:01:44,492 --> 00:01:47,498
I would appreciate some knocking.
Do you know what goes on in here?

32
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:50,538
Just a heads-up. There's an insurance
appraiser coming tomorrow.

33
00:01:50,558 --> 00:01:53,983
Your ass is getting
appraised insurance-style.

34
00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:55,254
- What does that mean?

35
00:01:55,274 --> 00:01:58,703
We hope it means we find
out that your school

36
00:01:58,728 --> 00:02:00,781
is very, very
valuable to the city.

37
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,039
Hey, how hilarious
would that be?

38
00:02:04,066 --> 00:02:05,371
Are you guys drunk?

39
00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:08,409
- Good luck proving it
before we're not. - Yeah.

40
00:02:09,947 --> 00:02:12,370
Pa-pa-papaya.

41
00:02:12,988 --> 00:02:15,231
- Whoa!
- Heh.

42
00:02:15,257 --> 00:02:18,135
Strawberry.

43
00:02:18,148 --> 00:02:19,515
Too ripe.

44
00:02:19,543 --> 00:02:21,070
You guys have been doing
this for 30 minutes.

45
00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:22,183
So what?

46
00:02:22,218 --> 00:02:24,078
I made all the
vegetables disappear.

47
00:02:24,091 --> 00:02:26,451
Usually, a lot more than this happens
in 30 minutes is all I'm saying.

48
00:02:26,471 --> 00:02:27,958
We're just relaxed
and happy.

49
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:30,446
I care more about this than
anything I've ever cared about.

50
00:02:30,472 --> 00:02:32,565
Best $199 I've ever spent.

51
00:02:32,581 --> 00:02:34,228
It's $3.

52
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:36,077
What are you playing?

53
00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:40,739
That's control software for some
kind of irrigation equipment.

54
00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:42,596
It's fun.

55
00:02:42,609 --> 00:02:44,843
Save Greendale
Committee, unite.

56
00:02:44,863 --> 00:02:48,445
- Boom. - An insurance appraiser is
coming tomorrow to inspect the school,

57
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,715
and if he doesn't appraise us good,
the school is doomed, doomed.

58
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,437
Call to adventure.
Call to adventure.

59
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:55,165
What's an insurance
appraiser?

60
00:02:55,186 --> 00:02:56,842
Something that sounds
normal and boring

61
00:02:56,861 --> 00:03:00,362
but is actually scary, like a
raised mole or a turkey deep fryer.

62
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,800
There's only one man qualified
to appraise insurance,

63
00:03:02,806 --> 00:03:04,767
and he died 2,000
years ago on a cross.

64
00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:07,887
I've seen insurance
appraisers bleed.

65
00:03:07,911 --> 00:03:10,913
Their blood's
different, darker.

66
00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,724
Everyone, take a breath.

67
00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:16,147
You're overreacting because this
school is addicted to crisis.

68
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:18,143
They're like one of those
hurricane Katrina dogs

69
00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:20,148
that won't let anyone
pet them anymore.

70
00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:23,502
But the weird thing we need
to get used to is this:

71
00:03:23,522 --> 00:03:25,055
The school's in decent shape.

72
00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:29,874
- This doesn't have to be a big deal.
- I wrote a paper on those dogs.

73
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:36,044
We've worked hard all
semester to save this school.

74
00:03:36,057 --> 00:03:38,804
Truth is, we did.

75
00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:40,345
So relax.

76
00:03:40,358 --> 00:03:42,367
- Are you sure, Jeffrey?
- I promise.

77
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,014
Jeff's heart is in the right
place, but he's wrong.

78
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:47,305
Greendale is a crazy place where
crazy things happen. I have a plan.

79
00:03:47,325 --> 00:03:49,515
We'll pretend our school has a
world-renowned physics department.

80
00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:51,975
- Dean, start learning Swedish.
- I'll do my best!

81
00:03:51,995 --> 00:03:54,375
Hickey, do you keep in touch with any
unstable criminals that you busted?

82
00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:55,553
Mm, five.

83
00:03:55,574 --> 00:03:56,927
Get them down here for
costume measurements.

84
00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,772
Annie, we need to make a particle
accelerator out of Kleenex boxes.

85
00:03:59,797 --> 00:04:03,374
Nope. Nobody do any of that.
Abed, outside.

86
00:04:06,498 --> 00:04:07,618
There is no story.

87
00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:10,951
Everything's a story, Jeff. Getting out of
bed is a story. Certainly this is a story.

88
00:04:10,964 --> 00:04:13,164
I mean, start with the study room.
We're content. I'm concerned.

89
00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:16,217
Skip the fruit-matching stuff. Dean enters
with the insurance appraiser story,

90
00:04:16,243 --> 00:04:17,604
call, refusal.

91
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,692
You're literally dragging
me across a threshold

92
00:04:19,705 --> 00:04:21,092
demanding there be no
story, which puts me

93
00:04:21,104 --> 00:04:22,810
into a whole new world that
I'm gonna have to adapt to.

94
00:04:22,823 --> 00:04:25,492
Well, you have to do it
by yourself, please. Okay?

95
00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:27,145
Because if this
appraisal is a story,

96
00:04:27,171 --> 00:04:30,194
that means we're in trouble,
and we are not in trouble,

97
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:32,229
because if we are...

98
00:04:32,786 --> 00:04:35,421
- No more stories.
- Ta-da.

99
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,497
So we'll see you later.

100
00:04:38,525 --> 00:04:41,944
- After no story.
- No story.

101
00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,004
So be it.

102
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,748
Let the lack of story...

103
00:05:06,438 --> 00:05:07,884
Hey.

104
00:05:07,903 --> 00:05:09,976
Oh, put one trap
behind each cabinet.

105
00:05:09,995 --> 00:05:11,865
Although I think
we're good.

106
00:05:11,884 --> 00:05:14,155
The cafeteria food killed
most of the roaches anyway.

107
00:05:14,173 --> 00:05:16,141
Hey, check it out.

108
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:18,775
- Is this a wedding ring?
- Are you kidding?

109
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:23,715
What... Aww, I lost this
my first week here.

110
00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:26,296
Oh, who's the lucky...

111
00:05:27,105 --> 00:05:28,372
It's my mom's.

112
00:05:28,384 --> 00:05:30,185
I started wearing it
because... I don't know.

113
00:05:30,212 --> 00:05:33,048
Everybody dreams of
settling down, right?

114
00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:35,645
And because it fits.

115
00:05:35,673 --> 00:05:40,124
She had huge fingers for a woman,
part of what killed her, really.

116
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,117
I'm not dreaming about settling down.

117
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:45,493
Well, maybe you already have.
You're teaching, and you like it.

118
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:49,069
- You love Greendale.
- No, I love scotch and myself.

119
00:05:49,097 --> 00:05:51,592
I tolerate Greendale.
It's a good school.

120
00:05:51,605 --> 00:05:53,635
That's why there's no need
for this to get sentimental.

121
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,023
This inspection is going to be
the most boring thing

122
00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:58,718
to happen here since
Britta dated Troy.

123
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:01,187
All right, no story.

124
00:06:01,815 --> 00:06:02,942
Wait.

125
00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:05,357
If there's no story,
what am I explaining?

126
00:06:05,376 --> 00:06:07,328
I'm in a story.

127
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:12,212
Okay, think, Abed, think.
How do you shake a story?

128
00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,834
The answer...

129
00:06:15,850 --> 00:06:18,218
is in the
teacher's lounge.

130
00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:32,024
- Here he comes, here he comes.
- Okay.

131
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,199
Hi, there. My name
is Ronald Mohammed.

132
00:06:35,218 --> 00:06:36,732
Go ahead. I've
heard them all.

133
00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:38,619
The city of Greendale
has sent me here

134
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,886
to assess this campus'
level of liability.

135
00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:43,839
Now, what do I
mean by liability?

136
00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:48,509
Well, the city defines liability as any
asserted or non-asserted perturbation

137
00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:51,923
by any qualifying party.
What's a party?

138
00:06:51,936 --> 00:06:56,230
A party is a person or a group of persons
or an event celebrating a person

139
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,473
or a party of persons'
birth, marriage...

140
00:06:58,487 --> 00:07:02,311
- Don't panic, Jeffrey.
- Hmm? I'm fine.

141
00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:04,444
- I'm the only one who's
not panicking. - Oh, please.

142
00:07:04,464 --> 00:07:06,330
You can lie to yourself,
but don't lie to me.

143
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:11,531
But the city defines a dog as any living
entity with four legs and a tail,

144
00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:15,245
so raccoons, bears,
mountain lions, mice...

145
00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:17,739
these are all just
different sizes of dog.

146
00:07:17,752 --> 00:07:20,499
What do I mean by "size"?
I'll tell you a story.

147
00:07:20,512 --> 00:07:23,672
- What's that supposed to mean? - I know
how much you feel for the campus, Jeff.

148
00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:27,040
I know how much you feel in general.
And I know you think it's a weakness,

149
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,192
but believe me,
it's your strength.

150
00:07:29,207 --> 00:07:30,347
You got something
in your teeth.

151
00:07:30,373 --> 00:07:32,113
Mm-hmm, you got something
in your chest.

152
00:07:32,132 --> 00:07:36,540
400,000 gallons of
liquefied horse meat.

153
00:07:38,461 --> 00:07:40,348
Here I come.

154
00:07:50,201 --> 00:07:51,922
Just...

155
00:07:53,363 --> 00:07:56,975
"And you shall find that salt is
the taste of another man's bread,

156
00:07:57,001 --> 00:08:00,496
and hard is the way up and
down another man's stairs."

157
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,312
Dante. Let's proceed.

158
00:08:15,485 --> 00:08:20,269
No! It's always a story.
Everything is a story.

159
00:08:20,295 --> 00:08:21,756
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Story feeds on conflict.

160
00:08:21,774 --> 00:08:25,308
If I stop resisting,
it'll stop being a story.

161
00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:28,476
No, Abed.

162
00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:30,519
Me with a beard?

163
00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:34,041
Keep fighting the story. Keep
fighting it until it falls apart.

164
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,977
I'm right.

165
00:08:37,054 --> 00:08:38,587
I mean I'm wrong.

166
00:08:38,609 --> 00:08:40,154
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

167
00:08:40,189 --> 00:08:42,509
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

168
00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:44,632
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

169
00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:47,354
Unsubscribe.

170
00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,378
For the final stage
of my appraisal,

171
00:08:49,411 --> 00:08:52,281
I am going to randomly select
one of your vending machines

172
00:08:52,301 --> 00:08:54,892
to see if it can be rocked
using human strength

173
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,842
enough to tip
and crush me.

174
00:08:56,849 --> 00:09:00,027
Now, in the U.S., each year,
six people die this way,

175
00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:02,127
and five of them are
insurance appraisers,

176
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:05,021
so I take this very seriously.
Here we go.

177
00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:20,751
Okay.

178
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,304
- Whoo!
- Sorry we're late.

179
00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:24,631
Hey, look. It's
Ronald Mohammed.

180
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,004
How about that name?

181
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,766
All right, Ronald,
what's the damage?

182
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:32,340
How much is this scampy, little hole
in the Earth gonna cost us this year?

183
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:37,490
Well, your gas leak is repaired, all
your fire exits actually lead outside,

184
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:41,672
and I am told that no new species
have been discovered here in a week.

185
00:09:41,698 --> 00:09:45,264
I have to say, I was brought in here
to estimate Greendale's liability, but

186
00:09:45,277 --> 00:09:49,801
at this point in time, I'd describe this
campus as an actual property asset.

187
00:09:52,182 --> 00:09:53,683
This property has value.

188
00:09:55,312 --> 00:09:57,722
- Yeah!
- Best news ever!

189
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,193
- This property has value.
- It has value.

190
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,945
- That means we can sell it!
- We can finally sell it!

191
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:14,265
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Press "stop" on Dave Matthews.

192
00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:15,372
What did you just say?

193
00:10:15,392 --> 00:10:18,935
We can start courting businesses to
unload this school on the private sector.

194
00:10:18,969 --> 00:10:21,716
- What do you mean "unload it"?
- This is a huge chunk of real estate,

195
00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:26,001
which generates no tax revenue and
takes money from the education budget.

196
00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:28,074
That's because it's a
community college.

197
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:32,383
Well, excuse us for taking longer
to see that was the problem.

198
00:10:32,409 --> 00:10:36,313
Maybe we're not as smart as you.
I mean, we only went to Yale.

199
00:10:36,339 --> 00:10:37,872
Oh, no, you didn't.

200
00:10:37,894 --> 00:10:39,080
- Yes, I did.
- Oh!

201
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,341
Oh, hey, we should call
T.J. Maxx right away.

202
00:10:41,347 --> 00:10:43,524
Dude, I told you.
This jacket looks fine.

203
00:10:43,537 --> 00:10:45,931
No, to talk about
selling this place.

204
00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:49,400
Oh, right. Yeah, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls.
What about Ben & Jerry's?

205
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:53,236
Oh, Richie, you're my friend, but
that is the last thing you need.

206
00:10:53,263 --> 00:10:55,567
Tough love received, bro.

207
00:10:58,343 --> 00:11:02,202
I did it. This school is story-free.
We can be content now forever.

208
00:11:05,022 --> 00:11:06,396
Ahh!

209
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,706
Let me be one of
the six this year.

210
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:15,193
Craig... Craig, this vending machine
is not gonna tip over and crush you.

211
00:11:15,227 --> 00:11:16,787
Why not? Why?

212
00:11:16,815 --> 00:11:21,413
Because we fixed it when
we saved Greendale.

213
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:28,421
We saved Greendale.

214
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:32,295
And now they're
gonna sell it.

215
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:46,835
If I come over there, there
are gonna be two sounds:

216
00:11:54,048 --> 00:11:56,022
Hello, Greendale,
as you know,

217
00:11:56,053 --> 00:11:59,265
our school will soon be replaced
by a sandwich university.

218
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:03,074
However, every ending
is also a beginning.

219
00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:05,069
Sure, things may
look bad now.

220
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:08,562
Some of us may have no idea where
we're going or what to do.

221
00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,382
But...

222
00:12:10,402 --> 00:12:12,402
Okay, okay, I should
have written this out.

223
00:12:12,421 --> 00:12:15,560
I thought I'd be able to come up
with something on the fly.

224
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:18,729
Moving on to phase two:

225
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:22,218
The actual saving
of Greendale.

226
00:12:22,238 --> 00:12:26,121
- Annie... - I've generated a few
ideas involving social media

227
00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:28,864
that I think might
do the trick.

228
00:12:28,884 --> 00:12:31,517
- Annie... - You want us to
tweet "SaveGreendale"?

229
00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:36,210
I'm sorry, Annie. The reason I have 48
followers is that I don't exploit them.

230
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:40,965
They come to me for atheistic rants and
photos of my meals, not this obnoxiousness.

231
00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:45,126
- We need to make people aware that
Greendale exists and needs help. - Why?

232
00:12:45,152 --> 00:12:49,092
Because once the internet knows
about something, it changes.

233
00:12:49,112 --> 00:12:52,269
Right. Just ask Chris
brown or China.

234
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,107
- Jeff, you made Annie cry.
- Well, if it's any consolation,

235
00:12:57,127 --> 00:13:00,040
this is the last time
that will ever happen.

236
00:13:01,353 --> 00:13:04,052
I know how to
save Greendale.

237
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,813
Treasure. Buried treasure.

238
00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:10,274
Okay, I'm tapped.

239
00:13:10,301 --> 00:13:11,874
We all wish we could
do something, Annie,

240
00:13:11,894 --> 00:13:18,684
but I think that concludes the last
meeting of the Save Greendale Committee,

241
00:13:18,703 --> 00:13:20,896
the committee that
did its darnedest.

242
00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:22,008
Wait.

243
00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:24,517
Are we sure we can't stop the
school from being sold to Subway?

244
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,190
I'm afraid so, Chang.

245
00:13:26,217 --> 00:13:29,264
Okay, I just wanted
to make sure.

246
00:13:29,271 --> 00:13:34,491
Ha-ha, screw you guys.
It's time to get paid.

247
00:13:45,399 --> 00:13:49,984
Chang just unexpectedly betrayed
the group for the last time.

248
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:57,250
Greendale is going to make a great
Subway sandwich university.

249
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,312
You know, research shows
most of your graduates end up

250
00:13:59,325 --> 00:14:00,638
working for our
restaurants anyway.

251
00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:03,446
That's by design. We're
very proud of our school.

252
00:14:03,466 --> 00:14:06,522
Proud of Subway's school.
This campus is yours now.

253
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:10,365
If you want to dynamite it, all we ask
is that you let us light the fuse.

254
00:14:10,399 --> 00:14:13,598
- Yeah, we hate this place.
- You just said you were proud of it.

255
00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:16,701
- Oh, proud of its potential.
- Love its potential.

256
00:14:16,728 --> 00:14:18,234
This will be your office.

257
00:14:20,368 --> 00:14:23,607
Why?

258
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:26,204
Okay, we'll check
in on that later.

259
00:14:26,217 --> 00:14:29,239
What's the matter, guys? Can't wait
until Greendale's corpse is cold

260
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,433
before you put it on
a 6-inch white bun?

261
00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:34,836
Young lady, that's not fair. Subway
doesn't call its bread "buns,"

262
00:14:34,849 --> 00:14:38,782
and we don't serve white. We serve
Italian, honey oat, nine-grain wheat.

263
00:14:38,816 --> 00:14:41,478
Great, thanks for making my
joke accurate. Now it's hilarious.

264
00:14:41,499 --> 00:14:42,906
Classes are over, kids.

265
00:14:42,919 --> 00:14:44,793
We're helping
the Dean pack.

266
00:14:44,813 --> 00:14:46,566
This is still Greendale
for two hours.

267
00:14:46,592 --> 00:14:48,239
Enjoy it.

268
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:52,855
Wait.

269
00:14:52,861 --> 00:14:55,321
You don't call your bread "buns."
What do you call them?

270
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:56,923
Bread.

271
00:14:57,559 --> 00:15:01,292
Well, bread is a substance. What do you
call the units of bread you use, "breads"?

272
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:10,170
- You okay?
- I just wish we had more time.

273
00:15:10,197 --> 00:15:15,054
I could turn things around. I swear.
Look, I got one of these label things.

274
00:15:15,074 --> 00:15:17,797
It makes custom labels.

275
00:15:18,444 --> 00:15:22,764
This was gonna help
me get organized.

276
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,301
Aw.

277
00:15:25,803 --> 00:15:28,216
Where should we start?
Should we pack up these pictures?

278
00:15:28,229 --> 00:15:30,308
They're not really mine.

279
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,157
They're Greendale history.

280
00:15:32,176 --> 00:15:35,576
Here's our 1987
civil rights march.

281
00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:39,218
This was when we started
offering Photoshop classes.

282
00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:42,119
And that's Russell
Borchert.

283
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,558
"Borchert, Borchert,
loved computers"...

284
00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:48,071
Yes, yes, "... more than women's butts
or hooters." Very mature, you two.

285
00:15:49,702 --> 00:15:51,582
Was there any truth
to that legend?

286
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:55,798
The legend that a Greendale computer
professor made love to a computer

287
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,577
and died of the first
computer virus? Sure.

288
00:15:58,596 --> 00:16:01,860
The truth is, Greendale had
a computer professor.

289
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,505
By the way, he was
a millionaire and a genius.

290
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:08,154
He has sex with one computer,
and that's his legacy?

291
00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:10,839
So after all my work, how
will I be remembered?

292
00:16:10,866 --> 00:16:13,366
The bald Dean with
glasses, I guess.

293
00:16:13,391 --> 00:16:15,100
Are you aware there's an
engraved plate on this frame

294
00:16:15,113 --> 00:16:16,833
that says "The truth is
behind this picture"?

295
00:16:16,854 --> 00:16:19,451
Of course I'm aware, Abed.
I'm not an idiot.

296
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,578
- Whoa, wait. It meant literally?

297
00:16:21,599 --> 00:16:23,600
What is it?

298
00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:39,060
I understand you were teaching
Fundamentals of Law here.

299
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,160
- Yeah. - Think you could make the
transition to teaching Sandwich Law?

300
00:16:43,179 --> 00:16:48,114
It's essentially the same, I'm
sure, just a bit more focused.

301
00:16:48,135 --> 00:16:49,287
Here.

302
00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:55,042
That's a subway black card. It
entitles you to $5 footlongs for life.

303
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:59,285
For life, Mr. Winger, for life.

304
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:16,334
- Hey.
- Hey.

305
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:20,107
So...

306
00:17:20,132 --> 00:17:23,115
- What are you going to do? - I'm thinking
I'm gonna transfer to City College,

307
00:17:23,128 --> 00:17:25,185
but I'm knowing I'm
gonna be a bartender.

308
00:17:25,219 --> 00:17:27,492
- You?

309
00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:30,699
- Subway offered me a job.
- Nice.

310
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:34,585
I'm worried about Abed and Annie.
They're not ready for this to end.

311
00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:37,732
Yeah, they're part of the
adulthood-begins-at-30 generation.

312
00:17:37,759 --> 00:17:41,642
I'm... I'm actually looking
forward to a little bit of...

313
00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:43,888
- Sanity?
- Yes, sanity.

314
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:47,607
Yeah, I mean, it's over, but
on the other hand, it's over.

315
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:48,982
Amen.

316
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:51,912
And to think this all started
because you wanted to...

317
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,399
Nail you.

318
00:17:53,414 --> 00:17:56,044
- Yeah, I regret nothing.
- Don't.

319
00:17:56,056 --> 00:17:58,782
I mean, after everything
that has happened here,

320
00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:02,356
what did either of us really get
done aside from each other?

321
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:07,763
Exactly, and what are either
of us gonna be leaving with?

322
00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:17,606
Um, I should go clean
out my locker,

323
00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:20,791
she said at the age of 33.

324
00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:25,434
Let's get married.

325
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:27,382
- What?
- Yeah, right?

326
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,363
I mean, this is what
matters, isn't it?

327
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,756
This is what keeps this all
from being pointless.

328
00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:33,943
Let's do what people do.

329
00:18:33,956 --> 00:18:36,430
Let's get a house we can't afford
and a dog that makes us angry.

330
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,984
And dedicate an entire
cabinet to grocery bags

331
00:18:39,005 --> 00:18:41,206
and realize we have a
favorite brand of olive oil?

332
00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:45,084
- Yes, marry me.
- Okay, yeah.

333
00:18:48,321 --> 00:18:52,429
Yeah... uh, yeah,
this feels right. Let's...

334
00:18:52,446 --> 00:18:53,934
get out of here and
never look back.

335
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,901
Yeah, but first, let's lock these
doors and pull these shades.

336
00:18:56,914 --> 00:18:58,643
We've never had sex
on the new table.

337
00:18:58,669 --> 00:19:00,482
Yes, two for two.

338
00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:04,841
- Medium roughness, high tempo?
- Let's make it a number eight.

339
00:19:08,779 --> 00:19:11,258
- Buried treasure!
- Whoo!

340
00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:12,791
Buried treasure!

341
00:19:12,823 --> 00:19:18,037
- Lock the doors. Close the blinds.
- We could save Greendale, Jeff.

342
00:19:18,063 --> 00:19:21,851
There may be
treasure on campus.

343
00:19:21,864 --> 00:19:24,800
- Hidden, buried treasure.
- Treasure!

344
00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:26,313
We need to call an
emergency meeting

345
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,777
somewhere safe where no
one can hear or see,

346
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:34,463
because we have to keep this a
secret, because it's a buried...

347
00:19:34,497 --> 00:19:36,430
Treasure!

348
00:19:36,456 --> 00:19:37,979
Buried treasure!

349
00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:50,227
Interesting.

350
00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:52,339
Emergency meeting.

351
00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:00,334
And that's how I ended
up at Greendale.

352
00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:03,149
Isn't it strange how it took
this school shutting down

353
00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:04,989
for you and I to finally
get to know each other?

354
00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:06,342
So what's up next for you?

355
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:09,539
Don't know, maybe go stay
with family in Lincolnshire.

356
00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:11,254
- Lincolnshire?
- Yeah.

357
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:14,330
- Where in Lincolnshire?
- Just a little town called Scunthorpe.

358
00:20:14,349 --> 00:20:17,240
Scunthorpe? I was stationed
around Scunthorpe.

359
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:19,399
- No.
- Oh, wait, wait.

360
00:20:33,377 --> 00:20:34,584
I love that.

361
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:36,999
Oh, where in God's name
did you learn that song?

362
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,252
Stainsbury Pub.

363
00:20:38,268 --> 00:20:40,303
My family practically
lived in Stainsbury's.

364
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,610
I lost my virginity
at Stainsbury's.

365
00:20:42,623 --> 00:20:45,336
My mother was a
Stainsbury whore.

366
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,997
Mine was missing a thumb.

367
00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:56,269
Oh, my God.

368
00:20:58,697 --> 00:21:00,645
- Two thumbs, yeah, she got both.
- Two thumbs.

369
00:21:00,665 --> 00:21:05,234
I mean, you may have
slept with my aunt,

370
00:21:05,261 --> 00:21:07,859
but given the
circumstances, cheers.

371
00:21:07,886 --> 00:21:09,726
- Cheers, yeah.
- Yeah.

372
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:14,524
Mm, so you're gonna stay with your
family till you get your bearings?

373
00:21:14,550 --> 00:21:17,780
I've got a cousin, Clive,
who's got a spare room.

374
00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,988
- You and he would really get
along, actually. - Really?

375
00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:22,013
Yeah.

376
00:21:26,793 --> 00:21:33,793
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