1 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,830 Frankie, are you awake? 2 00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:30,277 I'm in bed, but I only rest half my brain at a time. Go! 3 00:00:30,289 --> 00:00:31,317 Greendale in jeopardy. 4 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,497 Need to call emergency meeting, ASAP, no time to explain. 5 00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:38,502 I can be at the school in 30 minutes, and I'll have the Dean notify the others. 6 00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:42,564 - Could you notify the others? - You don't think the Dean can handle it? 7 00:00:43,184 --> 00:00:44,878 Do what you think is best. 8 00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:51,456 Annie Edison requesting emergency meeting at school in 30. 9 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,661 Greendale in trouble. 10 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:55,154 - I'll notify the others. - I can do that if you like. 11 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,906 I think I can handle notifying others, thank you very much. 12 00:00:59,913 --> 00:01:03,663 Annie, Jeffrey, emergency meeting at the school in 30 minutes. 13 00:01:03,677 --> 00:01:04,897 I already know. 14 00:01:04,914 --> 00:01:06,486 I'm the one calling the meeting. 15 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,373 - What up, yo? - Who is this other number? 16 00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:11,700 It's a group text. I'm texting you and Jeffrey. 17 00:01:11,706 --> 00:01:15,416 It's me. I am Jeffrey, best friend of Dean. 18 00:01:15,422 --> 00:01:17,135 Hi, Jeffrey. Hm. 19 00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:19,474 Dean, that number is not in my phone as Jeff's, 20 00:01:19,489 --> 00:01:22,332 and it doesn't even look like an American phone number. 21 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,423 Oh, my God. How stupid can I get? 22 00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:32,073 You never told me you gave Annie a fake phone number. 23 00:01:32,081 --> 00:01:36,289 Yes, Dean, this is me, Jeffrey, you are best friend. 24 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:37,903 Hold on, I'll cover. 25 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:43,057 You're right, I had the wrong number, see you at the school. 26 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:46,123 I am so sorry, Jeffrey. I hope I didn't get you in trouble. 27 00:01:46,128 --> 00:01:49,059 No worries, Dean. I love you. 28 00:01:50,432 --> 00:01:54,432 You're always so sweet, when we're texting, but then in real life. 29 00:01:54,438 --> 00:01:57,770 Bro, I just secret that way with love. You know, my style. 30 00:01:57,777 --> 00:02:01,668 We keep loving in text, but then secret forever. Meow. 31 00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:03,088 Oh, hm. 32 00:02:03,101 --> 00:02:04,491 Meow. 33 00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:37,081 sync and corrections by Caio www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 00:02:46,880 Annie, if you're not dying, I'm gonna murder you. 35 00:02:46,885 --> 00:02:50,336 I had to remove my night cream, it's $200 an ounce. 36 00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:53,105 It's 3 A.M. in the fricking morning, Edison, 37 00:02:53,118 --> 00:02:54,808 what gives you the right to haul us in here? 38 00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:57,096 Chang, how did you even find out about this? 39 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,598 - I have a right to be here. - Hi! 40 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,907 Why are you awake? 41 00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:05,735 I have a theory about this, Britta may be secretly twins. 42 00:03:05,747 --> 00:03:07,595 - No, I was working. - At the bar? 43 00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:11,375 - Does that mean you're drunk? - Could a drunk person do this? 44 00:03:17,953 --> 00:03:19,414 Hi, everybody. 45 00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:21,355 Jeffrey. 46 00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:26,321 Okay, 41 minutes ago, I received this email from a friend that interns at KZBC. 47 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,335 The TV station? 48 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:31,321 No, the unrelated, totally random combination of those four letters. 49 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,428 Meow. 50 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:35,708 "Heads up." Annie, still going to Greendale? 51 00:03:35,721 --> 00:03:36,742 Thought you should know, 52 00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:40,869 City College is running a negative ad about your school at 7 A.M. 53 00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:42,845 Heard it's pretty bad. 54 00:03:42,864 --> 00:03:43,959 Let me see that. 55 00:03:43,964 --> 00:03:46,537 City College is running an attack ad? 56 00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,650 - That's a first. - They're getting desperate. 57 00:03:48,675 --> 00:03:50,611 Our registration numbers are trending upward. 58 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,336 Because the population keeps growing, and no one here ever graduates. 59 00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:57,364 Actually, our numbers are up because of improvements Frankie's made. 60 00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:01,117 Those improvements, were only possible through your hard work, Annie. 61 00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,479 - Oh, get a boardroom. - Interesting. 62 00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:05,813 When were you gonna share the whole truth about this, 63 00:04:05,818 --> 00:04:08,037 - and not just the parts that suit you? - What? 64 00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:11,972 "PS: I was glad to hear Brenda's doing better." 65 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:14,279 Ha? Ha? 66 00:04:17,817 --> 00:04:21,421 Just because City College is scared, doesn't mean they're not dangerous. 67 00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:24,547 Is there anything in particular they could smear us with? 68 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,042 Nothing in particular, 69 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:29,553 just overlapping clouds of many thousands and thousands of things. 70 00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:32,486 - Let's not forget the Brenda factor. - There isn't a Brenda factor. 71 00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,913 He says she's doing better. Better than what? 72 00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:38,393 Her thyroid condition! Can you focus? 73 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,806 Can Brenda? 74 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,072 Probably more so, now. 75 00:04:41,085 --> 00:04:43,115 Okay, we need to see this ad before it airs. 76 00:04:43,134 --> 00:04:44,181 I'm working on getting us a copy. 77 00:04:44,187 --> 00:04:46,272 I have friends in the AV department at City College. 78 00:04:46,278 --> 00:04:47,145 Ooh la la. 79 00:04:47,151 --> 00:04:49,548 The brotherhood of AV exists beyond your petty factionalism. 80 00:04:49,561 --> 00:04:52,567 We serve only video, the one true queen, and her faithful consort, audio. 81 00:04:52,574 --> 00:04:54,094 Oh, could you guys be bigger nerds? 82 00:04:54,107 --> 00:04:56,067 No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential. 83 00:04:56,073 --> 00:04:57,026 Well, Annie's right. 84 00:04:57,033 --> 00:05:02,317 We do have a situation here, so we will make this our situation room. 85 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,138 Yes. 86 00:05:03,163 --> 00:05:05,877 We need whiteboards, corkboards, laptops. 87 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,811 A bunch of clocks with different times on them, a red phone, 88 00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:10,417 a big tabletop map with little Nazi tanks, and/or a Godzilla. 89 00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:12,046 The ad airs at 7 A.M. 90 00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:15,724 That means we have four hours and 13 minutes 91 00:05:15,737 --> 00:05:18,265 to figure out what they're throwing at us and how to respond. 92 00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:19,772 You know, it's the darndest thing, 93 00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:22,249 I think Britta somehow crapped in my pants too. 94 00:05:22,262 --> 00:05:23,645 Uh-huh, better head home. 95 00:05:23,651 --> 00:05:25,437 Jeff, you can't just leave a situation room. 96 00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:28,611 It's only a situation room, because she called it that. 97 00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:30,637 I mean I could declare it a... 98 00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:31,831 Cookie room! 99 00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:35,190 There are no cookies. There is a situation. 100 00:05:35,197 --> 00:05:39,360 You guys, where's the Greendale spirit! Where's the pride? 101 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,329 - I'm fine. - Found it. 102 00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:44,918 She was wandering around campus, without pants. 103 00:05:45,671 --> 00:05:47,770 - What's going on in here? - Situation room. 104 00:05:47,776 --> 00:05:50,096 - What's the situation? - Brenda's got a bad thyroid. 105 00:05:50,102 --> 00:05:51,987 I'm sorry to hear that. You can keep the pants. 106 00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:54,098 - I'm going back to bed. - I'm going with him. 107 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:55,851 - I'm gonna watch. - Got it! 108 00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:56,811 Downloading it now. 109 00:05:56,818 --> 00:05:58,564 You work hard to earn your degree, 110 00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:01,393 and your school should work hard to make that degree valuable. 111 00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:04,506 So, why is Greendale Community College giving degrees to dogs? 112 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,468 In 2001, a Staffordshire terrier mix named Ruffles 113 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,652 took up residence on Greendale's campus. 114 00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:12,619 By 2008, Ruffles had earned a Bachelor's Degree. 115 00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:15,704 Not a two year degree, a four year degree. 116 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,227 Where will you get your degree? 117 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:20,514 If the answer is Greendale, prepare to get boned. 118 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,514 Paid for by City College, license 264392. 119 00:06:27,215 --> 00:06:30,802 Did we give a degree to a dog? 120 00:06:34,039 --> 00:06:37,447 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Okay, it's okay, it's all right. 121 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:45,858 So, this is Greendale, not City College? 122 00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:49,270 I'm gonna get more pants. 123 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,353 They've been calling me in to do more stuff lately. It's pretty exciting. 124 00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,368 Well trust me, we'll be lucky if we get in three words before... 125 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,801 The first step is to pull our facts. 126 00:07:05,813 --> 00:07:08,610 The most important one being, Dean Pelton, 127 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,952 did Greendale Community College give a degree to a dog? 128 00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:17,543 I seem to recall, no. 129 00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:20,000 No way. There's absolutely no way. 130 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:20,873 Not that dog. 131 00:07:20,892 --> 00:07:23,533 - That dog? - You remember the dog. 132 00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:27,551 - Was it enrolled in classes? - Hm. 133 00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:29,251 How are these hard questions? 134 00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:32,128 Why, are these the questions you're asking? 135 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:34,809 You don't wanna know, if a dog got a degree here? 136 00:07:34,816 --> 00:07:36,236 It's not important. 137 00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,778 What I wanna know is, 138 00:07:37,803 --> 00:07:41,203 did a dog get a degree here, in any way that can be proven? 139 00:07:41,217 --> 00:07:45,583 - Ooh, I like that, Jeffrey. - I don't like that! I like the truth. 140 00:07:45,589 --> 00:07:47,009 Play lawyer on your own time. 141 00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:50,269 This is my own time. You wanted me invested? 142 00:07:50,276 --> 00:07:52,650 Well, this dump cuts my paychecks, 143 00:07:52,663 --> 00:07:55,462 and I've got three hours to defend it. 144 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,938 So, how many seconds of that should I waste on truth, 145 00:07:57,952 --> 00:08:01,303 which is an artificial construct that rarely holds up in court, 146 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,737 and has never changed the outcome of a fight. 147 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,529 - I'm sorry you have to see him like this. - Well, he is right about one thing, 148 00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:10,092 if City College can't support their claim, 149 00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:12,731 it's libel, we can have the station pull the ad, 150 00:08:12,756 --> 00:08:15,849 but that is precisely why the truth does matter. 151 00:08:15,855 --> 00:08:19,105 - The Brenda paradox. - I found the dog. 152 00:08:19,117 --> 00:08:20,891 I also found a lot of people's social security numbers. 153 00:08:20,897 --> 00:08:23,428 - You know, this incident's gone to far. - Yeah. 154 00:08:24,446 --> 00:08:26,932 This says she's registered as a border terrier. 155 00:08:26,952 --> 00:08:29,125 - They said Staffordshire in the commercial. - Isn't that something? 156 00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:32,652 I mean we've known this animal 30 seconds and she's already unreliable. 157 00:08:32,658 --> 00:08:34,461 Who is the real Ruffles? 158 00:08:34,466 --> 00:08:37,818 I'm sorry. Our strategy is to go after the dog? 159 00:08:37,831 --> 00:08:42,018 Our strategy is denial, which includes discrediting the source. 160 00:08:42,024 --> 00:08:43,797 Abed, can you make one of those attack ads? 161 00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:47,079 Jeff wants me to make me an attack ad. So, why is he a pedophile? 162 00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:52,225 - Just demonstrating the formula. - You can refine your technique as you go. 163 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,289 I wanna know everything about this Ruffles, 164 00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:57,868 she thinks she went to this school, fine. 165 00:08:57,873 --> 00:09:00,854 But, maybe she thinks cat turds are delicious. 166 00:09:00,866 --> 00:09:04,512 And maybe she barks just a little bit more, at black mailmen. 167 00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:06,624 And she's spayed now, 168 00:09:06,641 --> 00:09:08,058 but how many puppies are out there? 169 00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:10,435 If you do this, we're no better than City College. 170 00:09:10,448 --> 00:09:14,726 We've never been better than City College. We gave a degree to a dog. 171 00:09:14,738 --> 00:09:17,506 Allegedly, this conversation is privileged. 172 00:09:17,512 --> 00:09:20,937 I could do a Banksy style stencil of a dog, 173 00:09:20,962 --> 00:09:22,542 and spray paint it all over a school. 174 00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:23,675 That sounds great! 175 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,483 But first, why don't you go get a bunch of coffee, drink all of it, 176 00:09:27,489 --> 00:09:29,886 then go get some more and bring it back here. 177 00:09:29,899 --> 00:09:31,632 - I actually love that idea. - Mm-hm. 178 00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:33,019 I'll go with her. 179 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,627 She's wearing my pants. 180 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:39,253 I know this is crazy, but I'm gonna check the school records to see if, 181 00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:42,013 you know, we gave a degree to a dog. 182 00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:43,100 - We didn't. - That's good. 183 00:09:43,106 --> 00:09:45,851 You guys go find that truth you love so much. 184 00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:48,085 If it's the kind we can use, bring it back. 185 00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:50,942 If not, you know, stuff gets lost. 186 00:09:50,962 --> 00:09:54,581 No. No. Bad! We are better than City College. 187 00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:55,811 We always have been. 188 00:09:55,825 --> 00:10:00,001 Which is why I know, that we did not give a degree to a dog. 189 00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:05,745 Oh. 190 00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:11,612 I say we fight fire with fire. 191 00:10:11,617 --> 00:10:15,836 City College try to embarrass us? We should embarrass them, right? 192 00:10:15,842 --> 00:10:19,149 - Right. - I say I go to City College with a camera, 193 00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:22,663 shoot a really gross porno movie on their campus and put it online. 194 00:10:22,676 --> 00:10:24,392 - Fine. - Cool. 195 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:27,734 Wait, what? 196 00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:36,700 It's very inspiring to watch you work. 197 00:10:36,705 --> 00:10:39,309 You are inspiring, too. 198 00:10:40,716 --> 00:10:41,976 In what way? 199 00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:45,645 I need olives, can you bring me olives? 200 00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:49,158 Not again. You did this a month ago. 201 00:10:49,171 --> 00:10:52,855 Then I brought them to you, and you acted like you hated them. 202 00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:57,228 It's only my style to be secret, please bring me five can of olives. 203 00:10:57,943 --> 00:10:59,696 Five cans? 204 00:10:59,703 --> 00:11:04,982 But don't believe me if I say I don't like. I'm just pretending I hate olives. 205 00:11:12,523 --> 00:11:16,888 Honestly? I couldn't care less if they gave a dog a degree. 206 00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:18,658 Me neither. 207 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,159 In fact, I kinda hope they did. 208 00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:24,321 - Well, why is that? - I don't know. 209 00:11:24,328 --> 00:11:26,781 They all treat me like I'm a joke. 210 00:11:26,788 --> 00:11:30,680 But if a dog got a degree, that means we're all a joke. 211 00:11:30,687 --> 00:11:31,798 Mm. 212 00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:33,275 Whoa. 213 00:11:34,346 --> 00:11:36,893 Natalie is Freezing? 214 00:11:36,899 --> 00:11:39,505 - You know them? - Yeah of course I know. But how do you? 215 00:11:39,511 --> 00:11:40,258 - You're... - Black? 216 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,698 No. Old. 217 00:11:42,381 --> 00:11:46,556 Oh, I'm sorry I just meant that, when I was into them I was like 15. 218 00:11:46,562 --> 00:11:47,876 I was like 40. 219 00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:50,147 I never really listened to music, when I was growing up. 220 00:11:50,153 --> 00:11:52,438 I was in my own world, 221 00:11:52,456 --> 00:11:55,164 but one day at work, I heard this sound. 222 00:11:55,171 --> 00:11:57,515 It was Pillar of Garbage. 223 00:11:57,522 --> 00:12:00,642 Oh, that is their best song. Best song. 224 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:01,788 I've got it right here. 225 00:12:01,812 --> 00:12:03,897 - Would you play it? - Yeah. 226 00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:43,971 You know, you know what? 227 00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,878 You know, those guys are going to need coffee 228 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:48,123 if they're going to keep that dog from having a degree. 229 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:52,459 There are things at, at stake here. I, I get that now. 230 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:58,093 I found the smell. 231 00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:59,900 Someone filed a taco. 232 00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:03,996 Things that will otherwise get filed straight to my thighs. 233 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,409 Hm, 234 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,864 so I know you agree with me that we need to find the truth, 235 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,916 but do you agree that the truth won't be horrible? 236 00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:16,927 I'm not psychic Annie, that's an illusion caused by extreme preparedness. 237 00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,729 But, what do you hope is true? 238 00:13:18,742 --> 00:13:21,890 Oh, God, no, I never hope. Hope is pouting in advance. 239 00:13:21,897 --> 00:13:24,417 Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. 240 00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:29,254 Hope is the deformed attic bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear. 241 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,567 My life results tripled the year I gave up hope 242 00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:34,424 and every game on my phone that had anything to do with farming. 243 00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:38,241 What's true will be true, Annie. Our job is to deal with that truth. 244 00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:42,350 - You sound a little like Jeff. - Jeff said I sound like Abed. 245 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,786 I wonder if Britta thinks I sound like Chang. 246 00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:49,011 I assume Chang thinks I sound like distant explosions and crying babies, 247 00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,524 - you know, he's unstable, right? - Yep. 248 00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,719 Oh, 249 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,988 a transcript for Ruffles. 250 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,747 You think that's our guy? 251 00:13:58,492 --> 00:13:59,891 I do. 252 00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,435 Oh my God. 253 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,188 So many classes. 254 00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:14,811 - See what hope does? - Screw you, Frankie! 255 00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:16,946 I'm sorry, Annie. 256 00:14:16,971 --> 00:14:18,972 But I don't think you're seeing this for what it is. 257 00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:24,462 It's a transcript for a dog. A really, really long one! 258 00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:27,478 It's proof that Jeff was right. This school has no value. 259 00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,843 Yeah, but this folder has no degree. 260 00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:31,040 Look. 261 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,928 What's that? 262 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,195 Victory. 263 00:14:35,201 --> 00:14:37,648 You know, within the context of Greendale. 264 00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:41,745 - Would it be better if we... - No. 265 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,879 - Never know until you try. - Never know until I try. 266 00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:45,494 - What? - I said we're quite a team. 267 00:14:45,507 --> 00:14:47,610 Here's the coffee. 268 00:14:48,181 --> 00:14:50,181 Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. 269 00:14:50,191 --> 00:14:52,171 We could use some fresh eyes on this cut. 270 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,167 - We could? - Has anyone told you you're difficult to work with? 271 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:56,032 Everyone in your line of work. 272 00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,481 This is Ruffles. 273 00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:01,396 She'd like you to believe she's a college graduate and a good girl. 274 00:15:01,408 --> 00:15:03,438 But Ruffles is anything, but... 275 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,314 When Ruffles moved into her neighborhood in 2007, 276 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,789 dead squirrels went up by 17%. 277 00:15:08,797 --> 00:15:09,672 Coincidence? 278 00:15:09,686 --> 00:15:11,286 Ask this bunny. 279 00:15:11,292 --> 00:15:15,309 Ruffles stole cookies from a Girl Scout, impersonated a lobster, 280 00:15:15,322 --> 00:15:17,930 has had 27 children with five different fathers, 281 00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:20,437 and, according to one local doctor, has worms. 282 00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:22,510 Ruffles might claim she doesn't. 283 00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:24,524 Ruffles claims a lot of things, 284 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:28,174 maybe that's why Ruffles once spent time on death row. 285 00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:32,573 Ruffles, not a lobster, not a student, not a good dog. 286 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:34,637 Paid for by humanity versus Ruffles. 287 00:15:35,464 --> 00:15:37,915 I originally wanted the voice-over to be a James Earl Jones impersonator, 288 00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:40,402 but the James Spader impersonator turned out pretty good. 289 00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,311 I do wish he'd leave, though. 290 00:15:45,222 --> 00:15:47,034 - You really let that dog have it. - Yeah. 291 00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:50,585 Which I, I realize, is important now. 292 00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:53,105 - Is it okay if I crash on... - Yeah. Yes. Yes. 293 00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:01,749 - What are you doing? - Nothing at all. 294 00:16:01,755 --> 00:16:04,659 I wouldn't say that. You just put five huge cans of olives next to me. 295 00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:07,329 Just something I felt like doing. 296 00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:10,143 This isn't the first time you've done this. 297 00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:14,461 I'm really confused by this. 298 00:16:16,235 --> 00:16:18,480 - Is it code for something? - I don't know. 299 00:16:19,439 --> 00:16:20,945 And I don't care. 300 00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,697 Jackpot, relative to Greendale. 301 00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:31,236 My God, look at the course load, this dog was an animal. 302 00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:32,788 Most of them were attendance based. 303 00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:34,438 How is this good news? 304 00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:37,724 Unpaid library fees, 15 dollars, 305 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:40,471 diploma withheld until payment remitted. 306 00:16:40,954 --> 00:16:43,841 No degree, the commercial's a lie. 307 00:16:43,846 --> 00:16:46,234 I'm gonna call the station right now and have them pull the ad. 308 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,674 Eat crap Ruffles, and not just your own. 309 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,849 - Guys, let it go. - What are you talking about? 310 00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:55,099 The sad truth is that a dog can get a degree here. 311 00:16:55,112 --> 00:16:57,146 Yeah, but the happy truth is none did. 312 00:16:57,152 --> 00:16:59,840 There's a difference between truth and honesty. 313 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,240 Library dues? Who cares! 314 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,020 Ruffles put the work in relative to Greendale. 315 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,627 That City College ad may be technically a lie, 316 00:17:09,632 --> 00:17:13,480 but it's really dishonest to kill it on a technicality. 317 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,456 And dragging this dog's name through the mud? 318 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,820 That's worse than dishonest. That's evil! 319 00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,476 Evil? I'll cop to silly. 320 00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:24,427 Somethings are silly and evil, like candy cigarettes. 321 00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:27,183 And remember when Flava Flav had that reality show? 322 00:17:27,197 --> 00:17:28,879 I don't own a TV. 323 00:17:32,149 --> 00:17:36,356 Honestly, I think the most honest thing we can do right now. 324 00:17:36,362 --> 00:17:39,725 The only thing that will make us better then City College, 325 00:17:39,731 --> 00:17:42,893 is to let that ad run and take our lumps. 326 00:17:43,349 --> 00:17:47,460 Annie, this started with me sleeping and getting yelled at for not helping. 327 00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:50,620 If it ends with you yelling at me for not sleeping, that's not a story, 328 00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:52,667 that's a German art film. 329 00:17:54,371 --> 00:17:55,358 Let, let it go. 330 00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,910 I am a female student being physically overpowered by a male teacher. 331 00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:01,292 Damn it! Britta, get her. 332 00:18:02,502 --> 00:18:03,349 Frankie, get her! 333 00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:06,742 Annie, sweetie, think about this practically. 334 00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:08,684 If being better than City College 335 00:18:08,702 --> 00:18:11,416 means letting them destroy us then what is the point? 336 00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:16,009 If surviving means being like them, what's the point? 337 00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:21,298 Why not let one school die, and enroll at the one where my grades matter. 338 00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,702 If those are your terms. 339 00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:27,759 If the price of that transcript is you transferring? 340 00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:35,388 We accept. 341 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:37,522 Personally, I hope you're bluffing. 342 00:18:38,886 --> 00:18:41,190 Yeah, well, here's what hope gets you. 343 00:18:41,734 --> 00:18:43,684 Hope and $1.49 will get you a candy bar. 344 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,181 - Buck 79. - Are you serious? Jesus! 345 00:18:47,431 --> 00:18:53,615 Have fun with your lying, cheating, dog smearing, 346 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,288 truth blurring, trouser swapping school. 347 00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:02,842 I remember when candy bars were 50 cents. 348 00:19:03,381 --> 00:19:06,714 If someone says, hey, I just joined Mensa. 349 00:19:06,727 --> 00:19:09,777 Or I consider myself a postmodern this or that. 350 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:12,963 You could say, yeah, that and $0.50 could get you a candy bar, 351 00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:16,023 or that and a quarter could get you a phone call. 352 00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:19,273 It was easy to be unimpressed back then. 353 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:22,534 I mean it was, literally, cheaper. 354 00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,930 All right, we're kinda bummed out right now. 355 00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:27,372 - Annie has just left. - Oh, 356 00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:30,768 were you guys close? 357 00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:59,316 - Abed, I don't wanna talk right now. - Okay. 358 00:20:02,719 --> 00:20:04,918 Just so you know, the Greendale ad is gonna go up any time now. 359 00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:07,351 - I thought you might want to see it. - You know I don't to be a part of that. 360 00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:08,630 Just trust me. 361 00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:15,001 This is Ruffles. 362 00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,774 Ruffles was a student at Greendale Community College, 363 00:20:17,787 --> 00:20:21,531 she came really close to getting a degree, which means two things. 364 00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:23,749 She's an exceptional dog, 365 00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:26,925 and Greendale really needs to get its shit together. 366 00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:29,224 We're working on it. We're working hard. 367 00:20:29,237 --> 00:20:31,868 And the good news is, when you work hard at Greendale, 368 00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:35,864 no matter who or what you are, it pays off. 369 00:20:36,428 --> 00:20:37,596 Right, Ruffles? 370 00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,234 Jesus. 371 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,747 Greendale Community College. You're already accepted. 372 00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:49,873 You guys I knew you wouldn't do that to Ruffles. 373 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,207 - You hoped. - I hoped and it worked. 374 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,844 - Hope points. - Hope points. 375 00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:56,132 You do understand that what we did, 376 00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:58,448 was also just the most prudent tactical move, 377 00:20:58,461 --> 00:21:01,018 getting in front of the scandal, Letterman style. 378 00:21:01,037 --> 00:21:03,687 Yes, Jeff, don't worry. 379 00:21:04,204 --> 00:21:06,815 I promise I'll never mistake you for having a heart. 380 00:21:06,821 --> 00:21:08,101 - Thank you. - Mhm-mm. 381 00:21:08,121 --> 00:21:10,220 Kiss City College goodbye. 382 00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:11,567 I did it. 383 00:21:11,592 --> 00:21:13,862 - Did what? - That stuff we talked about. 384 00:21:15,152 --> 00:21:17,614 - Who are you? - I'm the plumber? 385 00:21:17,628 --> 00:21:19,627 - Why? - Here's why! 386 00:21:19,648 --> 00:21:21,243 - Oh. - Oh, God. 387 00:21:21,268 --> 00:21:22,760 Aw. 388 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,442 - This is pornography? - Doy. 389 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,258 - You're the only actor. - So? 390 00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:33,830 - What kind of lens is this? - Who cares? 391 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,846 You might be a genius. 392 00:21:37,273 --> 00:21:38,080 Why did you do this? 393 00:21:38,085 --> 00:21:41,940 What parent is going to let their kid go to a school if a porn got shot there? 394 00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:44,273 But you shot in front of a plaster wall that could be anywhere. 395 00:21:44,292 --> 00:21:46,297 And you're wearing your Greendale T-shirt. 396 00:21:46,310 --> 00:21:52,068 Okay genius, but the title is Chang does Greendale, 397 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,304 oh wait. 398 00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,401 Reshoots. 399 00:22:54,236 --> 00:22:56,454 The Dean? Hellos? 400 00:22:56,997 --> 00:22:59,144 Are you in trouble? Is everything okay? 401 00:22:59,163 --> 00:23:02,582 Is life hard everywhere? Is everyone alone? 402 00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:06,175 All the time. Are you at home Jeffrey? Should I come over? 403 00:23:06,188 --> 00:23:09,353 You cannot come to me. I must confession you... 404 00:23:09,372 --> 00:23:10,440 I am not Jeffrey. 405 00:23:10,459 --> 00:23:13,265 I understand. I rarely know who I am. 406 00:23:13,272 --> 00:23:16,434 - No, I mean I am not Jeffrey. - Let it out. 407 00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,125 I am Takashi. I am teenage boy in Tokyo. 408 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:22,088 I think we all are sometimes. 409 00:23:22,113 --> 00:23:25,953 I am sorry for making fun before, but now I need a friend. 410 00:23:25,968 --> 00:23:28,481 Why don't I bring you some olives tomorrow, Jeffrey? 411 00:23:28,495 --> 00:23:32,649 - I am not Jeffrey! - I am not the Dean! 412 00:23:37,253 --> 00:23:40,171 I often think about that night. 413 00:23:40,184 --> 00:23:43,713 Such a small event, but ultimately... 414 00:23:43,725 --> 00:23:47,872 the moment that would lead me to becoming Ioban. 415 00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:51,350 Highest the leader of the Yakuza. 416 00:23:52,949 --> 00:23:59,949 sync and corrections by Caio www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther