1 00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:04,200 Why did Frankie call us here? 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:08,820 I don't know. Some financial prospect that could put the school in the black. 3 00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:12,180 Which always confuses me, because black means bad. 4 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,900 When it's a cat or banana 5 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:18,200 or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,350 Nice save. Sorry about that, man. 7 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,100 Hm? What? 8 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:26,650 Did someone use the word black and now you want me to give you the all-clear? 9 00:00:26,650 --> 00:00:28,520 Please tell me that won't be my role in this group. 10 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,380 I have a brain the size of Jupiter. I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster. 11 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:35,130 No, I promise, this group does not think that way. 12 00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:38,590 In fact, before you got here, they had two. 13 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:39,570 No. 14 00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:43,040 They had to often step back 15 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,830 and remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light. 16 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,390 Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me? 17 00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:52,190 No, we're fine, I lived in New York. 18 00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaking of which, mid-terms are over 19 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,190 and I was thinking we could have a party at our apartment. 20 00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,490 Abed? Annie? 21 00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:01,530 You could have a party. You can't have a rager. 22 00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:03,110 We have a rule against more than eight guests. 23 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:07,530 Eight guests? That's not, not a rager. That's not a party. 24 00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:08,210 Nice grammar. 25 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:12,410 Okay, you have a rule against parties, which I'm sure is a world record 26 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,920 for uptightness, so let's celebrate that. 27 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,560 I'll bring the booze and more than eight guests. 28 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,870 Britta, you just moved in. You don't even have a real bedroom. 29 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,000 You're a coucher. 30 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,620 She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher. 31 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:30,100 - So I get nothing? - You get a couch. You get a home. 32 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,100 There's no government to overthrow here. 33 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:32,870 I'm not overthrowing. 34 00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:35,660 - You're overthrowing if I say so! - Nice irony. 35 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,870 Can we focus on this? Because now this is happening. 36 00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:42,550 Hello everyone. 37 00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:47,950 Don't be alarmed, I'm attending our meeting using what's called a telepresence robot. 38 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,880 I resent the idea that this would alarm me. 39 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,850 These bots have been revolutionizing the private sector, 40 00:01:53,850 --> 00:01:57,390 and now the state of Colorado has come to us with a unique... 41 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:05,890 Proposition. 42 00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:07,010 Seamless, Frankie. 43 00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:11,210 The Department of Corrections will pay us money, if we allow a small, 44 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:15,070 manageable number of inmates to attend Greendale using these. 45 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,490 Now, hold on. 46 00:02:16,490 --> 00:02:19,750 Are you trying to tell me that prisoners would use these things, 47 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,560 to come to our school? 48 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,870 That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie. to come to our school? 49 00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:23,060 to come to our school? 50 00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:25,330 I'll allow it. 51 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:29,480 Wait. Prisoners? Rolling around the school with students? 52 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,770 They'll rape us. They'll rape us all. 53 00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:37,690 They can't rape you, because their genitals will be hundreds of miles away. 54 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:38,230 From each other? 55 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,100 This is an attempt at rehabilitation. 56 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,180 The prison is looking for ways to expose their inmates 57 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,810 to a real world academic environment. 58 00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:49,220 Okay, I've heard enough. 59 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:53,400 I'm responsible for this school. I won't have hardened criminals exposing themselves to it. 60 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,370 That's the response they're getting from everyone, 61 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:59,840 which is why the state is offering a $300,000 incentive. 62 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,500 We'll do it. Dean, do it. $300,000 for the school. 63 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,130 - They're convicts. - They're iPads on sticks. 64 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:09,610 As someone that got paid to keep people out, let me tell you. 65 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:11,630 Hey guys, I'm moon walking. 66 00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:15,550 Not every bad guy ends up in prison, and not every prisoner is a bad guy. 67 00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:17,820 - Who's this guy? - 300,000! 68 00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:18,410 Oh, yeah. 69 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:22,120 Jeffrey you know, ordinarily I'd do anything you say. 70 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,160 Do it. Let's do it. 71 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,500 - Oh, I walked into that one. - Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind. 72 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,560 I'm so glad you talked me into this. 73 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:07,860 $300,000, look at us running the school together, now. 74 00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:10,170 If I'm running the school, pay me more. 75 00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:14,260 What if I made you Professor Emeritus? 76 00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:15,450 We could have a little ceremony. 77 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:16,810 - Does it pay more? - No. 78 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,890 Then give me what the ceremony would cost. 79 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:25,190 Okay, folks welcome. I believe you all have maps of our campus. 80 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:27,190 This is your Dean, Dean. 81 00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:32,140 Now, if I see any race gangs forming, I will have no choice 82 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:36,770 but to adjust the contrast on your screens until you all look the same. 83 00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:42,690 And we have a very strict no bullying policy that relates directly to me, 84 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,870 so be nice, to me. 85 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:45,650 No need to be nervous. 86 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:48,370 We're all here because we've done some bad stuff, but... 87 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,170 We ain't here to do anymore. 88 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:53,150 That's very folksy, thank you. 89 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,950 So I guess just... 90 00:04:54,950 --> 00:04:57,620 Roll forth and rehabilitate. 91 00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:14,810 Alright, knock it off. 92 00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:18,010 No one at this school should pick on any class of people, 93 00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:20,810 it's like watching magicians bully jugglers. 94 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:22,860 - What's your name? - Willy. 95 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:23,860 Willy. Take a seat. 96 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,110 I'm Mr. Jeff Winger. I teach fundamentals of law. 97 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,100 Does that mean you can teach me how to get out? 98 00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:34,140 Probably not. 99 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:37,940 I was a phony lawyer, I got caught, and now I teach a pretty phony class. 100 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:38,720 It's an automatic A. 101 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:43,460 But, you might learn a thing or two. And I mean literally a thing or two. 102 00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,460 Cool? 103 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:46,090 Hey, and they call me the criminal. 104 00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,520 Trust me. 105 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,320 I know the main difference between us is an orange jumpsuit. 106 00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:54,500 You have an iPad. 107 00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,600 Yeah, and I'm a murderer. 108 00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:06,000 Now, now, don't worry. I ain't proud of it. 109 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,310 Just don't hide it. 110 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:10,140 You know, once you take another man's life, the least you can do is carry it with you. 111 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,930 Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger? 112 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:20,560 I am not. 113 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,250 I hear you have to have strong feelings for someone you kill. 114 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,960 I try to reserve that stuff for myself. 115 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:31,110 All right, that's enough law. 116 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:34,130 Who wants to watch Planet Earth? 117 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:39,830 Oh, look, ice worlds, oh the majesty. 118 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:44,380 Rhinos and elephants and flamingos. 119 00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,800 Hey, Abed. 120 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,850 Haven't you been in our apartment longer than Annie? 121 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,920 Oh, yeah, I remember when she first moved in. 122 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,570 That was when I was so worried about pacing 123 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,660 I was constantly laying groundwork for pop back gags. 124 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:58,870 Hey, Annie. 125 00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:02,200 I'd like to make this moment worth popping back to from some point in the future. 126 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:03,790 I don't know what that means. 127 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,540 There. 128 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,240 Don't worry. It will pay off. 129 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,520 Hey, Troy. 130 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,960 I'm glad I kicked that habit it was getting a little joyless. 131 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,950 What I'm saying is by Annie's logic. 132 00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:15,350 You're saying I was first in the apartment, so I could overrule Annie 133 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:17,490 and let you have a party, but I don't get anything out of parties. 134 00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:20,350 They're like conventions for every subject too boring to have their own convention. 135 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,960 And instead of Joss Whedon the police show up. 136 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,830 The police also showed up when you made Leonard take off his clothes 137 00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,270 and filled the livingroom with lizards. 138 00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:29,140 That was for my movie Reverse Godzilla. I also thought it might make a good pop back. 139 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:33,470 I make movies, Britta. 140 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:35,110 I make movies, Annie makes rules, you make parties. 141 00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,820 Her rules cancel out your parties, but I'm not involved, I just make movies. 142 00:07:57,050 --> 00:08:00,010 Yeah, evening, Mr. Winger. 143 00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:03,930 Willy. You're here late. 144 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:08,160 Yeah, taking some night classes, trying to take full advantage, you know? 145 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,130 Is this your car? It's nice. 146 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,910 Looks like you're taking full advantage, too. 147 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,620 Yeah. It's a real dream gig. 148 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,280 Hm, sarcasm. 149 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,800 Slick words. 150 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,320 Cock of the walk. 151 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,540 What are categories in Prison Jeopardy? 152 00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:26,240 Hey, you mind helping me out with something? 153 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,920 I think I lost a ball-bearing that rolled down them stairs. 154 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:29,950 Lost a ball-bearing? 155 00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:30,650 Mm-hm. 156 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:32,490 Down them stairs. 157 00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:34,190 You want me to look down these stairs? 158 00:08:34,190 --> 00:08:37,770 Okay. 159 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,330 Did you just try to murder me? 160 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,930 Are you trying to murder me? 161 00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:58,870 You're trying as hard as you can right now to kill me. 162 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:07,760 Okay, well I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow? 163 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,980 Guy who tried to murder me. 164 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:15,450 Oh I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Winger. 165 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:19,200 I will see you. 166 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,430 Yeah, I'll see you. 167 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,500 Oy vey. 168 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,310 Oh, I'll see you tomorrow... 169 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,960 Mr. Winger. 170 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:42,250 So we are having a party? 171 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,410 Annie. You know me better than that. This is all set dressing. 172 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:49,460 I'm helping Abed produce his next film. 173 00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:53,840 Britta's Party, based on a true story of fun and no rules. 174 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,390 Hm. 175 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,850 Fade in before a party. 176 00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:59,660 People start coming over, way more than eight. 177 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:00,780 It becomes a rager. 178 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:05,030 Everyone has a great time and parties like there's no tomorrow, then they leave. 179 00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:06,080 Sophia cleans up. 180 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:06,870 The end. 181 00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:09,270 We're very interested in you for the role of Sophia. 182 00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,350 I see the real time stakes of Can't Hardly Wait, 183 00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:13,050 the subversive raunch of Risky Business, 184 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,120 and the mumbly pointlessness of everything after 2003. 185 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:16,790 - Yeah, but real. - Totally real. 186 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,690 The first movie to capture the heart of a real party. 187 00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,430 The sensation that there's no tomorrow. 188 00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:22,130 The transcendence of time and mortality. 189 00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:24,490 Bravo, Britta, very clever. 190 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:28,240 Me? Don't look at me, I could never green-light a project this big. 191 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,400 I moved in third. I'm a coucher. 192 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,610 - She's a coucher! - I sleep on a couch! 193 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,440 Okay! 194 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,400 - Good night. - Good night. 195 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,530 Aw. 196 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:51,010 Before this is over, you'll beg for my forgiveness. 197 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,250 So, we have an ultimately low stakes, 198 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:08,740 but nonetheless creepy problem with one of our Wi-felons. 199 00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:10,560 You mean, Willy? 200 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:11,810 Yes, what else did he do? 201 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,550 Did he steal a driver's ed simulator? 202 00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:15,770 Did he start an illegal game of solitaire on his face? 203 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:17,160 Jeffrey, he's in the room. 204 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,640 Hey, Mr Winger. 205 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,080 Why is he on your laptop? 206 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,350 He came to me for a chat this morning. 207 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,490 He's here for an education Jeffrey, and he reports to the prison. 208 00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:30,870 Could you do a little more in your class than show Planet Earth? 209 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:33,250 You're telling on me? 210 00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,410 He tried to murder me last night. 211 00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:35,340 What? 212 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:38,120 Now hold on. 213 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,940 Now where I'm from, you accuse somebody of something, 214 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:44,080 you better have evidence, or he better be a minority. 215 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,290 He tried to push me downstairs. 216 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,360 That's ridiculous. 217 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,610 It was ridiculous, 218 00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:50,140 but this is not someone who should be interacting with students. 219 00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,380 And you're seriously taking his word over mine? 220 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,350 Well, have you ever killed anyone, Jeffrey? 221 00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:59,180 Why would an actual murderer wanna kill a community college teacher? 222 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,400 Now, I'm not worth murdering? 223 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,110 Why would I lie? Isn't that your specialty? 224 00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,550 You're a raconteur. 225 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,740 You charm people with your slick and fancy words. 226 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,530 Willy. 227 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,200 Willy just charms them. 228 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,830 Oh, my God. 229 00:12:12,830 --> 00:12:14,450 I should leave you two alone. 230 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:15,760 I've got classes. 231 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,030 Some of us came here to work. 232 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:23,700 Jealousy isn't a crime Jeffrey, but costing the school $300,000 will be. 233 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,920 So be a good teacher, especially when Willy's watching. 234 00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:35,620 Which is why they call it yard juice. 235 00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,510 Next question. 236 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:38,980 Do you get to pick your number? 237 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:41,310 Does anyone ever get their head stuck between the bars? 238 00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:43,740 We call it getting metal ears. 239 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:44,600 Oh hi, Mr. Winger. 240 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,230 Thought we'd sneak in a little learning before the movie. 241 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,820 Well, there's no movie today, so everyone roll to your seat areas. 242 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,700 Yes sir. 243 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,240 So, law. 244 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,470 Law is simply put, 245 00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:01,850 an agreement we all make to do our best to stay out of each others way. 246 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,770 Is there a more technical definition, Mr Winger? 247 00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,700 Well, I wouldn't know Willy. 248 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:10,110 I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study. 249 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,210 It's not how I got to where I am. 250 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,980 How did you get to be where you are, Mr. Winger? 251 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:15,530 Where were you born? 252 00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:19,950 Mr. Winger was born in dirt, Willy. 253 00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:22,890 Same as you I'm sure. 254 00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:27,960 And I had my face held down in that dirt by the kings of dirt and 255 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:32,940 now they're still there, ruling over dirt and I got out. 256 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:36,180 By talking, by lying. 257 00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:40,800 Well, in case you hadn't noticed it seems to beat being a bully. 258 00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:46,670 Garrett? 259 00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:49,350 Mr. Winger, when did you stop being funny? 260 00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,840 I, I mean, am I wrong? 261 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,690 Or does he seem really intense here? 262 00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:58,560 Now, you're born in the dirt, you'll die in the dirt. 263 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,560 Kings of the, who are the kings of the dirt. 264 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,890 Everyone's so charmed by him because he's a violent criminal. 265 00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:10,840 But he's also a petty sociopath, and the more I try to point that out, 266 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:11,980 the pettier I look. 267 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,540 Weren't you the one that championed this program? 268 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,540 Shouldn't have worn that petard if you didn't want to be hoisted by it. 269 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:22,210 What do you think the expression hoisted by your own petard is referencing? 270 00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:26,400 I guess I just assume that in the old days a petard was a special outfit 271 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,930 like a leotard with a lot of fancy buckles and loops on it. 272 00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:34,210 And that rich people would wear them when they were feeling especially smug. 273 00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:38,070 But then poor people could tie a rope to one of the loops and hoist them 274 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:42,720 up a pole and then let them dangle there as punishment for being cocky. 275 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,430 Never look it up. 276 00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:45,240 Your explanation is way better. 277 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:49,350 But also the next time a friend comes by with their problems, 278 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,550 maybe lay off the I told you so's. 279 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,820 Jeff, we're having a Britta party here. 280 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:56,860 Could you be a little bit less of a buzz kill? 281 00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:00,460 That was great. 282 00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:02,610 Now party like there's no tomorrow. 283 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,530 What? 284 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:04,780 There's no tomorrow. 285 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:07,540 Party like it. 286 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:16,720 Okay. 287 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:21,400 Why don't you just do some business in the background for now? 288 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,050 Hi everybody. 289 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:23,850 No, don't worry. 290 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,910 We're not here to bust up your party. 291 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,190 I know most of you are like thirty. 292 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:31,610 We're here because Frankie Dart has exciting news. 293 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:37,120 You have all been very cooperative with this inmate education program. 294 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,580 The Department of Corrections is very, very happy. 295 00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:43,050 Which means Greendale is going to be rich! 296 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:46,330 So don't tell anybody, 297 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:49,870 but we smuggled in a few guests to the party to celebrate with us. 298 00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:51,670 Did someone order a prison break! 299 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:58,580 Plenty of convicts to go around! 300 00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:03,110 Take them to the dance floor. 301 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,680 Pass them around. 302 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:11,210 Yeah, really, pass them, yeah! 303 00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:12,090 Yeah. 304 00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:15,770 Pass Willy, pass me Willy. 305 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,480 Oh! 306 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,080 Yeah, here you go, Willie. 307 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,220 Keep doing that! 308 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,740 Keep doing that. 309 00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:45,340 Try dancing harder. 310 00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:45,840 Is that as hard as you can dance? 311 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,860 You're at a party, you're celebrating. 312 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:50,650 Abed! 313 00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:52,150 It's six in the morning. 314 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,650 Okay, thanks. 315 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,420 Do you think you've gotten enough shots? 316 00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:58,070 Nobody's partied like there's no tomorrow yet. 317 00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:59,260 They keep dancing like it's today. 318 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:03,390 That's okay. 319 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,180 Are you joking? 320 00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,930 This is the reason I signed onto this film. 321 00:17:06,930 --> 00:17:07,990 I think it's a performance issue. 322 00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:10,190 I think this needed some real actors. 323 00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,890 Well, lesson learned. 324 00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:13,550 Yeah. 325 00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:14,710 Okay, from the top! 326 00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:15,840 And, action! 327 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:16,900 What? 328 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,430 Who are these people? 329 00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:22,750 Good, Dean. 330 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,920 Good, Frankie. 331 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:24,830 Party! 332 00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:25,780 Party, party. 333 00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:26,820 No tomorrow, guys. 334 00:17:26,820 --> 00:17:27,850 Come on. 335 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,760 Hey, Mr. Winger. 336 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,490 You know, I was thinking for class today maybe you could, hey, whoa, 337 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,410 what's going on? 338 00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:39,280 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. 339 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:39,860 Careful, now. 340 00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:40,360 Put me down. 341 00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:45,120 Well, Willy. 342 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,490 Look at me. 343 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:47,980 I'm a murderer. 344 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,950 Can I be as cool as you now? 345 00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:50,450 Huh? 346 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,350 Willy! 347 00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:55,740 No, no, no, no, no. 348 00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:59,430 Willy, talk to me, talk to me. 349 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:00,700 I can't see anything. 350 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,990 Willy, Willy, focus on my voice. 351 00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:05,730 Hey, I'm losing you. 352 00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,180 You're not losing me. 353 00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:09,930 You are going to a better place with a stronger signal. 354 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:14,290 Willy? 355 00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:16,670 Willy! 356 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,280 What's going on here? 357 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,100 He started it. 358 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,520 Jeffrey. 359 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,840 You are on sabbatical. 360 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,670 You can't do that. 361 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:24,840 Yes I can! 362 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,900 Two weeks paid sabbatical, get him out of here, 363 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,840 he's banned from the campus. 364 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,210 You are on sabbatical. 365 00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:33,160 You're on sabbatical, sir. 366 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,590 Yeah, I'll go on my own, with dignity, something you should look up. 367 00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,420 I can't look it up. 368 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,870 You destroyed my device, and my heart. 369 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,880 You destroyed his device and his heart, sir. 370 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,410 Yeah, I'm going. 371 00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:51,530 Willy! 372 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,130 Sorry I'm late. 373 00:18:58,130 --> 00:19:00,840 I had to find a parking spot for my house. 374 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,650 Oh, it must be so cool living in a vehicle. 375 00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:04,570 Wait. 376 00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:05,930 Where's your poop go? 377 00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:07,170 A tank. 378 00:19:07,170 --> 00:19:08,150 Gross! 379 00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:09,150 Get a house. 380 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:10,520 Ben, aren't you homeless? 381 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,620 Yeah, but I poop in a house. 382 00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,920 Whose? 383 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:14,960 Nice try. 384 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:18,880 Annie. 385 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,380 Britta. 386 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,470 How's your movie coming? 387 00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:24,480 Amazing, Abed's a genius. 388 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,620 He's actually having a hard time deciding what to cut, so 389 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:30,830 it's going to be in two volumes and it's hard to sleep, 390 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,890 but it's worth it because it's a movie. 391 00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:36,980 About a party. 392 00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:39,090 Would you like my help? 393 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,350 Yes. 394 00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:42,060 Have you learned anything? 395 00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:42,890 Don't question rules. 396 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:43,630 Rules are good. 397 00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:45,280 I'm bad. All hail Annie. 398 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:45,900 Thank you. 399 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:48,620 Damn. 400 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,850 Oh, nice of you to show up. 401 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,180 We moved here for you. 402 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,500 I didn't ask for this. 403 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,310 Have your meeting at school without me, I don't care. 404 00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:56,870 Dean's using the study room for the ceremony. 405 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:57,870 That ceremony? 406 00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:58,490 You don't know? 407 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:01,040 The Dean's making that convict you murdered into a professor. 408 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:01,840 What? 409 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,610 Why do you care? 410 00:20:03,610 --> 00:20:06,890 Because the Dean is just doing this to prove something and it's really stupid. 411 00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:09,170 The guy's dangerous and he's manipulating him. 412 00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,800 Isn't that what you usually do? 413 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,580 No. 414 00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,130 I mean, yes, but not like that. 415 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,030 I lied to the Dean for personal gain. 416 00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:17,320 I wouldn't use him emotionally. 417 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,760 I wouldn't mislead him. 418 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,430 I wouldn't hurt him. 419 00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:26,890 Have you ever thought of saying that, to the Dean? 420 00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,890 Yeah. 421 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:30,350 Go to him. 422 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:30,850 Going to him. 423 00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:33,860 Wait that's the whole point. 424 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,200 I can't go to him. 425 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,120 I can't get on campus. 426 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,780 And yet murderers can. 427 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:39,720 What have I done? 428 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:40,890 Murderers can get on campus. 429 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,590 I'll need a broom, a remote control car, an iPad and 430 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,480 an elaborate gyroscopically stabilized servomotor. 431 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,350 Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here. 432 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,680 You're acting kind of spoiled right now. 433 00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:58,170 Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, 434 00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:01,650 party, party, party, party, party, party, party, cut! 435 00:21:03,570 --> 00:21:05,530 Abed? 436 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,660 Britta has something to say. 437 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,330 My script is misleading. 438 00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:17,460 It's impossible to party like there's no tomorrow. 439 00:21:21,550 --> 00:21:22,380 But, it's based on a true... 440 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:24,760 It's based on my desire to have a party. 441 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,660 Parties are just booze, low lights, and loud music, so people can feel 442 00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:32,440 more, see less, and not have to listen to each other or themselves. 443 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,080 That's stupid. 444 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:36,990 Parties are stupid. 445 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:39,770 I'm stupid. 446 00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:41,090 You're shooting a stupid movie. 447 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:45,400 That's a wrap! 448 00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:49,240 Go on, we're done here. 449 00:22:01,430 --> 00:22:02,640 What's gonna happen to me? 450 00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:11,270 You're going to be punished in ways you won't understand for 451 00:22:11,270 --> 00:22:15,520 longer than you think is rational or possible. 452 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,200 But then one day, you'll do something he likes and he'll stop. 453 00:22:20,510 --> 00:22:23,200 And eventually, you'll either adapt or lose your mind. 454 00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,440 Okay. 455 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,870 Girls. 456 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,320 As a prison warden, 457 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,730 I know all too well how rare stories of true rehabilitation can be. 458 00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:44,130 But this Dean and this prisoner stand here together today to prove that the dream is real. 459 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,550 I'm here for the ceremony. 460 00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:48,090 Last name? 461 00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:52,930 Geller, prisoner ID 042098. 462 00:22:52,930 --> 00:22:57,710 Okay, go on. 463 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,520 Hi, I'm here for the cere... 464 00:22:58,520 --> 00:22:59,560 Have a nice night sir. 465 00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:07,860 Dean Craig Pelton, do you accept responsibility for 466 00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:10,010 any damage incurred by hiring a felon? 467 00:23:11,350 --> 00:23:12,350 I do. 468 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,550 Willy Seibert Smith, 469 00:23:13,550 --> 00:23:17,520 do you accept that the 13th amendment abolished slavery for everyone but 470 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,750 convicts, and that we have no choice but to pay you $0.13 per hour or less. 471 00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:22,750 I do. 472 00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:23,630 Awe. 473 00:23:23,630 --> 00:23:25,880 Then let us make official this symbolic union. 474 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:26,420 Hold it. 475 00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:27,590 Oh. 476 00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:28,960 Dean. 477 00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:31,590 I agree there's no reason you shouldn't give this guy my job. 478 00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:33,030 Save it, Jeffrey. 479 00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:33,630 I don't want to hear it. 480 00:23:33,630 --> 00:23:36,550 But don't do it before I tell you some things that 481 00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:38,210 I've been getting away with not saying. 482 00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,560 Somebody get this maniac out of here. 483 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,800 Quiet, Willy. 484 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,120 Let's do this by prison rules. 485 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,470 Say what you have to say. 486 00:23:44,470 --> 00:23:46,580 Dean, I like my job. 487 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,380 I don't mind coming to work here. 488 00:23:49,770 --> 00:23:52,000 I feel kinda guilty when I pretend to be sick. 489 00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:56,530 And I try to steal as little as possible, just the basics. 490 00:23:56,540 --> 00:24:00,110 Pens, coffee filters, toilet paper, and one time, 491 00:24:00,110 --> 00:24:03,920 an overhead projector and a roll of carpet. 492 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,320 But I don't lead you on, and I never will. 493 00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:10,540 Because I'm not just a pretty face that murders people and 494 00:24:10,540 --> 00:24:13,410 tells you what you wanna hear, I'm less than that. 495 00:24:14,810 --> 00:24:20,030 I'm a gorgeous face that works for you and considers you a friend. 496 00:24:20,030 --> 00:24:21,870 Oh, Jeffrey. 497 00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:23,790 Now, now to be fair. 498 00:24:23,790 --> 00:24:25,980 You guys know Willy's an innocent man, right? 499 00:24:25,980 --> 00:24:27,460 You shut your mouth, Warden. 500 00:24:27,460 --> 00:24:28,220 No, it's true. 501 00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:29,110 His appeal is in motion. 502 00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:30,690 There's new DNA evidence. 503 00:24:30,690 --> 00:24:31,240 He's a good fella. 504 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,250 Wrongfully convicted. 505 00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:36,400 You're not a murderer? 506 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:37,560 I can explain. 507 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,870 Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 508 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:43,160 Son of a bitch! 509 00:24:44,190 --> 00:24:45,420 Wait. 510 00:24:45,420 --> 00:24:47,790 Let's do this by community college rules. 511 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,460 Fight! 512 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:49,420 Fight! Fight! 513 00:24:49,420 --> 00:24:50,180 Fight! 514 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:51,130 Fight! Fight! 515 00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:56,540 I think I pulled a plug. 516 00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:01,120 Go broom. 517 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:01,680 Go. 518 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:02,520 Bring it on. 519 00:25:04,390 --> 00:25:05,280 It's so violent. 520 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,760 You punch like a girl. 521 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:07,260 Oh. 522 00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:10,220 Aah! 523 00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:11,810 Is this what you've got? 524 00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:13,190 Here's what I got. 525 00:25:13,190 --> 00:25:15,480 Come on, let's do it. 526 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,940 Aah! 527 00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:20,690 Aah, Jeffrey! 528 00:25:20,690 --> 00:25:21,860 Damn. 529 00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:23,610 Now, who's falling? 530 00:25:23,610 --> 00:25:26,370 Hey, Willy! 531 00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:27,870 Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa. 532 00:25:27,870 --> 00:25:28,870 Whoa. 533 00:25:34,330 --> 00:25:35,380 Thanks, Dean. 534 00:25:36,890 --> 00:25:39,170 Dean, Dean. 535 00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:40,840 Oh, come on. 536 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,470 No, no, no. 537 00:25:45,630 --> 00:25:47,180 Way to go Mr. Winger. 538 00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:48,850 Way to go. 539 00:25:48,850 --> 00:25:53,100 Everybody, I am not participating in this. 540 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:55,320 What the hell kind of school is this? 541 00:25:57,860 --> 00:26:01,650 Okay, thanks for coming on short notice, is everyone here? 542 00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:05,160 Think so, it's hard to tell without side cameras. 543 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,030 Wait, why am I moving? 544 00:26:08,030 --> 00:26:09,700 Is my custom background working? 545 00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:10,950 Wait, I can't. 546 00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:12,080 It's WASD to move it. 547 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,710 It's been the same since the invention of the keyboard. 548 00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:15,040 Okay, nerd. 549 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,650 As you've heard, the rehabilitation program has been aborted, 550 00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:21,000 so we lost that money. 551 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:25,010 But, we no longer have to build 67 ramps so we should break even. 552 00:26:25,010 --> 00:26:26,580 Can you all hear that? 553 00:26:26,580 --> 00:26:30,220 There's a kid outside throwing tennis balls against my RV. 554 00:26:35,310 --> 00:26:38,510 Was it really necessary for us to use these things for this meeting? 555 00:26:38,510 --> 00:26:40,600 Yeah, I think there's something wrong with mine. 556 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,720 I'll get a better connection. 557 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:46,690 It wasn't entirely necessary, but the prison is selling these units 558 00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:49,880 at a discount so I thought I'd run their offer by the school. 559 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:50,640 What are you doing? 560 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:51,660 Get out. 561 00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:52,680 Mine's broken. 562 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,590 Not it's not. 563 00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:54,950 There's a janitor on it right now. 564 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,300 I think Britta's being arrested. 565 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:01,010 I have every right to be here! 566 00:27:01,010 --> 00:27:03,420 You think scared of you, but not! 567 00:27:03,430 --> 00:27:05,210 All right, that's it. 568 00:27:05,210 --> 00:27:07,390 Do you know how much windows cost John McEnroe? 569 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,470 Get off my lap! 570 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,310 Stop fighting technology. 571 00:27:10,310 --> 00:27:11,810 I vote yes, we should get these, they're cool. 572 00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:14,520 I vote no, people shouldn't have to be everywhere at once, 573 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,100 sometimes we need to do our own thing. 574 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:18,570 Chang, where are you? 575 00:27:18,570 --> 00:27:20,260 I'm doing my own thing. 576 00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:22,000 Why is there tile behind you? 577 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,230 Please tell me you're not doing the thing, I think you're doing. 578 00:27:25,230 --> 00:27:27,250 That's the same tile we have in our apartment's bathroom. 579 00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:28,150 What? 580 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:29,130 Chang. 581 00:27:29,130 --> 00:27:30,420 I gotta go. 582 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:32,170 Oh my god. 583 00:27:32,170 --> 00:27:33,780 Yeah, I gotta go too. 584 00:27:33,780 --> 00:27:34,710 Jeffrey. 585 00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:36,970 I take it we're passing on their offer? 586 00:27:36,970 --> 00:27:38,810 No, they're just amateurs. 587 00:27:38,810 --> 00:27:40,440 Initiating override protocol. 588 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,960 All in favor of this purchase? 589 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,130 Affirmative. 590 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:47,380 Very well, Abeds commence with world domination. 591 00:27:47,380 --> 00:27:49,720 Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate. 592 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:54,140 Eradicate, eradicate. 593 00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:57,680 Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate.