1
00:00:12,719 --> 00:00:14,219
Three weeks earlier.

2
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,429
You know how sometimes a movie
or a show begins on a random,

3
00:00:19,554 --> 00:00:22,165
intriguing scene with no context given,
encouraging you to wonder,

4
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,061
"whoa, how'd this crazy
scenario come to be?"

5
00:00:24,186 --> 00:00:25,864
And then it cuts to black
and a title comes up

6
00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:27,483
and says "three weeks earlier".

7
00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:29,049
- Huh.
- Here we are.

8
00:00:29,215 --> 00:00:31,038
Sitting in silence,
crammed into an RV.

9
00:00:31,163 --> 00:00:34,046
Winding through the mountain roads
of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass

10
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:35,639
hand tied to the roof.

11
00:00:37,807 --> 00:00:40,678
If there was ever a time to cut to
three weeks earlier it'd be right now.

12
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,397
Know what I mean?

13
00:00:53,281 --> 00:00:55,031
Elroy, you got any booze?

14
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,474
Don't go through my stuff!
This isn't a bus.

15
00:00:58,599 --> 00:01:00,416
You're standing in my living room,
kitchen, and bedroom.

16
00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:01,832
I never thought about that.

17
00:01:01,998 --> 00:01:06,294
And your backyard is
24,900 miles long,

18
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,790
because it's the
circumference of the Earth.

19
00:01:09,915 --> 00:01:12,643
Because you have no home.

20
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,637
Did anyone need water?
What else should we talk about?

21
00:01:14,762 --> 00:01:16,354
I guess to make it really intriguing,

22
00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:18,987
one of us should be visibly injured in a
way that makes you wonder how it happened.

23
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,784
Like if Britta had a black eye.

24
00:01:22,217 --> 00:01:24,479
Dean, can I speak to you privately?

25
00:01:24,844 --> 00:01:26,873
I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

26
00:01:26,998 --> 00:01:27,983
Coming up.

27
00:01:33,846 --> 00:01:37,408
You know, when I agreed to hold
this thing for you and the school,

28
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:39,989
you didn't say anything about
six people sitting back there.

29
00:01:40,114 --> 00:01:42,081
Man, I wonder what
they're talking about.

30
00:01:42,206 --> 00:01:43,467
God!
Who knows?

31
00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:46,974
They're sealed off behind
this soundproof vinyl.

32
00:01:47,099 --> 00:01:49,504
I will drive my house off a cliff.

33
00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:51,673
Elroy, we're not here
to snoop or judge you.

34
00:01:51,839 --> 00:01:55,789
You're not the first person to
have dirty dishes, CD rom porn

35
00:01:55,914 --> 00:02:00,265
and framed photos of yourself with
two biracial teenagers in a park.

36
00:02:00,431 --> 00:02:01,631
It's not that.

37
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:03,608
All of this weight.

38
00:02:04,344 --> 00:02:08,074
I may have miscalculated the mileage.

39
00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:13,570
Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV,

40
00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:17,248
but I'm foiled by its impenetrable
post-2001 security measures.

41
00:02:17,373 --> 00:02:21,039
You keep driving and nobody else
needs to know about this, understand?

42
00:02:21,164 --> 00:02:23,330
The last thing we need is a panic.

43
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,249
What's going on?
Are we out of gas?

44
00:02:26,415 --> 00:02:28,142
Yes!
It's on empty!

45
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:29,336
It's on empty!

46
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:32,130
Like, the needle is invisible.

47
00:02:32,296 --> 00:02:34,052
- Oh, my God!
- There's no needle.

48
00:02:34,177 --> 00:02:35,021
It's gone.

49
00:02:35,146 --> 00:02:37,025
It's underneath the plastic
or maybe the engine

50
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,386
tried to use it as the fuel.

51
00:02:38,552 --> 00:02:40,639
- Oh, stop yelling.
- Well, stop being out of gas.

52
00:02:40,805 --> 00:02:42,917
- You're freaking me out.
- You should be freaking out.

53
00:02:43,042 --> 00:02:44,534
I have been driving for 25 years,

54
00:02:44,659 --> 00:02:48,438
and I have never seen
so little gas in my life.

55
00:02:49,272 --> 00:02:53,360
Stop, stop, I'm yelling
even louder so you have to stop.

56
00:02:53,526 --> 00:02:56,332
We're not in control
of the gas, okay?

57
00:02:56,811 --> 00:02:59,324
We have to focus on
what we can control.

58
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,326
Is everyone's phone charged?

59
00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:03,203
- Yes. Charge your phones.
- Good idea.

60
00:03:03,369 --> 00:03:04,370
Okay.

61
00:03:04,537 --> 00:03:05,336
Okay.

62
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:06,348
Okay.

63
00:03:06,473 --> 00:03:07,554
See?

64
00:03:07,679 --> 00:03:09,459
We turned panic into preparedness.

65
00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:14,422
Now if we do run out of gas, guess
who's got fully charged phones?

66
00:03:14,588 --> 00:03:15,632
Well charged.

67
00:03:15,798 --> 00:03:17,234
Full battery.

68
00:03:17,359 --> 00:03:19,427
For the love of God,
stop charging your phones!

69
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,663
Excuse me a moment.

70
00:03:35,943 --> 00:03:37,520
- What happened?
- I'm not telling you!

71
00:03:37,645 --> 00:03:39,867
Fair enough.
We're all gonna die!

72
00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:09,999
Resync for WEB-DL by Kyros
www.addic7ed.com

73
00:04:12,541 --> 00:04:13,691
All in favor?

74
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:16,735
And that solves the matter
of the giant hand.

75
00:04:16,901 --> 00:04:18,518
- If there's no other business.
- Yes.

76
00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:20,209
I'd like to move that we establish
this moment as the opening

77
00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:21,239
for a flashback.

78
00:04:21,405 --> 00:04:22,699
No.
Meeting adjourned.

79
00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:34,159
Oh, I guess we're not doing
the three weeks earlier thing.

80
00:04:34,543 --> 00:04:37,380
Abed, insert dialogue here by you
dropping the fourth wall shtick.

81
00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:39,637
- Nice.
- Careful you don't flood it.

82
00:04:39,762 --> 00:04:41,927
That's the fifth time you've
reminded me not to flood something.

83
00:04:42,093 --> 00:04:44,054
I'm sorry but it doesn't
apply to our situation.

84
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:46,129
I'm gonna check the battery.

85
00:04:46,254 --> 00:04:48,374
Can you send someone or not?

86
00:04:48,499 --> 00:04:50,936
- Can you please hold?
- No, I can't hold.

87
00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:53,010
Darn it.

88
00:04:53,135 --> 00:04:57,152
When they put you on hold, you
hang up and you call right back.

89
00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:58,652
Frankie taught me that.

90
00:04:58,818 --> 00:05:00,294
Hi, it's me.

91
00:05:00,419 --> 00:05:01,967
Yeah, the one you put on hold.

92
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:04,215
See where that got you?
Can you send somebody or not?

93
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:05,617
- Please hold.
- Don't you dare.

94
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:09,454
When they put you on hold,
hang up and call right back.

95
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,581
I can play this game all day.

96
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:14,236
I told you
we need roadside service on...

97
00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:16,419
- Could you please hold?
- Oh, you can't be serious.

98
00:05:16,585 --> 00:05:18,697
Well hello, guess who.

99
00:05:18,822 --> 00:05:20,734
I got nothing but fingers
and time, pal.

100
00:05:20,859 --> 00:05:22,926
Road side service, Moffett pass.

101
00:05:23,428 --> 00:05:24,606
All right, all right.

102
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:26,669
You, well, you could've
told me that an hour ago.

103
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,265
RV is full of crazy ladies.

104
00:05:28,431 --> 00:05:31,309
Your RV is full of crazy ladies,
good bye.

105
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,824
Have any of you heard
of Armed Forces Day?

106
00:05:34,949 --> 00:05:37,524
Because apparently it's today
and it's really boning us.

107
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:40,730
Yep, here it is,
Armed Forces Day, huh.

108
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,944
Why would they put it in May?

109
00:05:43,069 --> 00:05:46,616
It's just sitting there in Memorial
Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.

110
00:05:46,782 --> 00:05:49,190
Fitting that both war holidays
have to fight each other

111
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,412
over the same month.

112
00:05:50,578 --> 00:05:53,164
Notable that the one we remember
is the one with the theme of memory.

113
00:05:53,330 --> 00:05:55,792
Way to make this about justifying
your unmarketable sensibilities.

114
00:05:55,958 --> 00:06:00,934
Well, apparently Armed Forces Day
is the big one for tow truck drivers.

115
00:06:01,059 --> 00:06:03,793
Because there are three within
200 miles of this spot

116
00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:05,552
and they're all in the same parade.

117
00:06:06,007 --> 00:06:10,424
Maybe it'll come by this way
if we offer them instruments?

118
00:06:11,182 --> 00:06:12,809
Nobody reroutes parades.

119
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:14,686
They rerouted Kennedy's parade.

120
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:17,137
So, we'll just call the CIA,
tell them we want to assassinate

121
00:06:17,262 --> 00:06:19,316
the President, and we'll be home
in time for Wheel of Fortune.

122
00:06:19,659 --> 00:06:21,568
Who are we kidding?
That'll never work.

123
00:06:21,734 --> 00:06:24,814
We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.

124
00:06:24,939 --> 00:06:28,010
I don't want anybody here
blaming themselves for this.

125
00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:29,612
I want everyone blaming Frankie.

126
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,646
What?

127
00:06:30,771 --> 00:06:32,579
She is the reason we are here.

128
00:06:32,745 --> 00:06:36,541
This is what happens when you
make decisions outside the moment.

129
00:06:36,707 --> 00:06:39,514
Whatever moment you were in the
day you got on the Internet

130
00:06:39,639 --> 00:06:43,923
and bought a gigantic hand, I am proud
to remain outside until I die.

131
00:06:44,089 --> 00:06:45,164
You will baby.

132
00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:48,113
And this is where logic gets you,

133
00:06:48,238 --> 00:06:50,767
stuck in a Rocky Mountain
pass at sundown,

134
00:06:50,892 --> 00:06:52,542
gradually freezing to death.

135
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:55,385
And forced to decide somewhere in
the backs of our heads,

136
00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:57,465
just in case, who we'd eat first.

137
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,772
- Annie, right?
- What?

138
00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:00,982
- Not a judgement, it's about biology.
- What?

139
00:07:01,148 --> 00:07:02,149
Craig...

140
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,945
the hand currently crushing our lives
is not about being in the moment.

141
00:07:06,111 --> 00:07:07,947
You bought this thing we can't return

142
00:07:08,113 --> 00:07:09,741
with money we don't have,
nobody knows why.

143
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:13,313
And your latest idea is to put it
on the quad with a plaque that says

144
00:07:13,438 --> 00:07:14,913
"give a hand to your brain."

145
00:07:15,079 --> 00:07:16,548
"Give your brain a hand."

146
00:07:16,673 --> 00:07:18,524
You're making it sound
stupid on purpose.

147
00:07:18,649 --> 00:07:21,144
It's over Craig, you are
lucky to have Frankie.

148
00:07:21,269 --> 00:07:23,319
And you're lucky she was
able to find some weirdo,

149
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:27,634
excuse me, bigger weirdo on
eBay willing to pay cash for it.

150
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,374
This is a lot of narrative pipe.

151
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:31,596
Maybe we did need a three
weeks earlier flashback.

152
00:07:31,762 --> 00:07:32,799
Is this a show?

153
00:07:32,924 --> 00:07:34,862
I thought you said you
knew it wasn't a TV show.

154
00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,784
Season two you mean?
I don't know. I can change my mind.

155
00:07:37,909 --> 00:07:40,557
Well can I ask that it not be a
show about you saying it's a show?

156
00:07:40,682 --> 00:07:41,564
Because dumb.

157
00:07:43,768 --> 00:07:45,276
- You're dumb.
- Go in the back.

158
00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:46,861
Go in the back and sit by yourself.

159
00:07:47,957 --> 00:07:49,727
- Give him a shot.
- What's wrong with you?

160
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:50,974
I'm sick of it.

161
00:07:51,099 --> 00:07:53,340
It's a show, it's not a show,
it's your show, it's my show,

162
00:07:53,465 --> 00:07:54,691
it's a good show, it's a bad show.

163
00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:55,984
I am sick of it.

164
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,234
I don't want to hear
the word show again.

165
00:07:58,359 --> 00:08:01,042
Show, show, show,
is a show, show, show.

166
00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:03,420
So now it's a show about this?

167
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,839
Oh, you're right, that's way worse.
Abed, come back.

168
00:08:06,136 --> 00:08:07,323
Abed, come back.

169
00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:09,300
- I'm not sorry.
- It's not good to be back.

170
00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:11,511
What the hell was that?

171
00:08:12,049 --> 00:08:13,323
The battery is dead.

172
00:08:13,737 --> 00:08:14,738
Flooded?

173
00:08:14,863 --> 00:08:16,474
So help me God.

174
00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:19,368
The RV has two batteries,
a primary, and a sec...

175
00:08:19,493 --> 00:08:20,494
Secondary.

176
00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:25,859
We overloaded the electrical system,
and killed the engine battery.

177
00:08:26,025 --> 00:08:27,902
So now, the secondary
battery has maybe three

178
00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:29,946
- or four hours of juice...
- Charge.

179
00:08:30,112 --> 00:08:31,239
Juice, charge.

180
00:08:32,944 --> 00:08:35,774
Then we have a choice to make.
And Jeff can explain that choice.

181
00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:37,078
No, it's your RV.

182
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:39,269
This was my show.
You didn't give a damn about that.

183
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,376
Abed, we're all on your side,
so if you're also on your side,

184
00:08:42,501 --> 00:08:43,551
it's petty.

185
00:08:44,363 --> 00:08:46,379
We could wait for
a couple of hours and hope

186
00:08:46,545 --> 00:08:48,534
that the engine
battery resets itself.

187
00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:50,653
If it doesn't, then we're
spending the night here,

188
00:08:50,778 --> 00:08:53,720
and we have the secondary battery
to keep us warm for a few hours.

189
00:08:53,886 --> 00:08:56,574
No, no, no, we're not spending the
night here, so what's the second option?

190
00:08:56,699 --> 00:08:59,684
Which I am nicknaming
little course of action.

191
00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:03,838
I rewire the secondary battery to
the engine and hope it can start it.

192
00:09:03,963 --> 00:09:07,317
If it doesn't we're spending a very
cold night with two dead batteries.

193
00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,107
Okay, let's switch
the batteries then.

194
00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:10,236
Good democracy.

195
00:09:10,402 --> 00:09:12,363
Are we sure the secondary
battery won't just die too?

196
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:14,115
- Ha.
- It's a possibility.

197
00:09:14,281 --> 00:09:15,241
It exists.

198
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:16,576
But I'm pretty confident,

199
00:09:16,742 --> 00:09:19,425
because the secondary
battery only powers the cabin.

200
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:20,830
And we've kept the lights off

201
00:09:20,996 --> 00:09:22,332
and it goes without saying

202
00:09:22,498 --> 00:09:25,084
that we've all learned
to stop charging our phones.

203
00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:31,831
Why you all looking at
each other like that?

204
00:09:31,956 --> 00:09:34,719
And where are each
of your phones now?

205
00:09:39,327 --> 00:09:42,082
You know, I'm starting to
suspect the unthinkable.

206
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,839
Namely, that in spite
of all we've experienced,

207
00:09:44,964 --> 00:09:48,942
there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of
personal devices somewhere in the RV

208
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,361
sucking away our remaining battery.

209
00:09:51,527 --> 00:09:53,960
I only draw limited
comfort from the fact

210
00:09:54,085 --> 00:09:56,157
that nobody's running
to unplug anything.

211
00:09:57,112 --> 00:09:58,190
You know what?

212
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:00,379
Say nothing.

213
00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:04,832
I'll just, turn the light switch

214
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:06,543
to the on position.

215
00:10:20,778 --> 00:10:22,701
There is a bright side to this.

216
00:10:22,826 --> 00:10:26,410
Most conventional weapons
don't require electricity.

217
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:30,031
Are you going to eat me first?

218
00:10:38,127 --> 00:10:39,629
Hear those crickets?

219
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:43,901
This would be a challenging place
to practice your stand-up act.

220
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:47,982
So I rented Hotel
Rwanda the other night.

221
00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:50,858
And let me just say,
not a date movie.

222
00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:58,760
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger
sound like if he was bit by Dracula?

223
00:11:01,221 --> 00:11:02,690
All in favor?

224
00:11:02,815 --> 00:11:05,143
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

225
00:11:05,309 --> 00:11:06,311
If there's no other business

226
00:11:06,477 --> 00:11:07,923
If we're doing this
I'd like to restate importance

227
00:11:08,048 --> 00:11:09,439
of telling some of this story
with flashback.

228
00:11:09,605 --> 00:11:11,001
What do you mean by restate?

229
00:11:11,126 --> 00:11:13,484
Oh my god, I fell for it.
Meeting adjourned.

230
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,364
Why do we call them elbows?

231
00:11:18,698 --> 00:11:20,098
Why not arm knees?

232
00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:24,199
Man, I am dying up here.

233
00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,327
I'm scaling the blanket rations

234
00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:29,931
inversely to the wattage
of each person's phone.

235
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,368
That way the person who killed
us the most will die the soonest,

236
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,797
which feels fair.

237
00:11:35,148 --> 00:11:36,348
Right, Britta?

238
00:11:40,388 --> 00:11:42,886
I can't go all night
being this angry.

239
00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:47,898
Heart attacks run in my family
and you people aren't worth it.

240
00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:50,893
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

241
00:11:51,018 --> 00:11:54,233
I caused the situation
by not topping off the tank,

242
00:11:54,399 --> 00:11:58,488
and that vinyl accordion partition
is a totem of distrust.

243
00:11:58,925 --> 00:12:00,106
Sorry for that, too.

244
00:12:00,231 --> 00:12:02,408
Elroy, that's big of you.

245
00:12:02,799 --> 00:12:05,314
And for our part, we're sorry
that charging our perfectly normal

246
00:12:05,439 --> 00:12:08,122
cell phones destroyed
your weirdly fragile RV.

247
00:12:09,225 --> 00:12:11,371
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.

248
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,419
I'll try to be a better house guest.

249
00:12:17,297 --> 00:12:18,638
Sorry I've been unavailable,

250
00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:20,647
I've been trying to cut
to three weeks earlier.

251
00:12:20,772 --> 00:12:22,261
Really feels like we needed that.

252
00:12:22,427 --> 00:12:24,305
I have something to
apologize for as well.

253
00:12:24,471 --> 00:12:26,681
Perhaps you recall earlier when it
seemed

254
00:12:26,806 --> 00:12:28,559
as though we drove
through a skunk patch.

255
00:12:28,725 --> 00:12:30,687
- Yeah, you were getting high.
- Yeah, you were smoking pot.

256
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,148
You were getting stoned.

257
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:35,334
Okay, I remember thinking
I really pulled that one off.

258
00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:37,235
You thought
that because you were high.

259
00:12:37,401 --> 00:12:41,781
You also thought that we were speeding
cuz you kept seeing the same bird.

260
00:12:47,870 --> 00:12:48,830
All in favor?

261
00:12:49,459 --> 00:12:51,624
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

262
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,792
If there's no other business

263
00:12:52,958 --> 00:12:55,670
Let me explain the need for flashback
here and don't interrupt

264
00:12:55,836 --> 00:12:58,498
Okay, one quick thing and then
you can talk about flashbacks forever.

265
00:12:58,623 --> 00:12:59,799
Meeting adjourned.

266
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:00,633
Abed?

267
00:13:00,799 --> 00:13:02,767
When they cut to three
weeks earlier on TV,

268
00:13:02,892 --> 00:13:05,012
they're not traveling in time,
dip ass.

269
00:13:05,491 --> 00:13:07,390
Okay, my apology now.

270
00:13:07,556 --> 00:13:10,319
I've had some time to think about it,
and I've decided,

271
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,546
I'm sorry for not asking people
what they wanted

272
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:14,272
before buying all the snacks
for the trip.

273
00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:16,363
- Wow, really?
- That's great.

274
00:13:16,899 --> 00:13:19,162
Think about it, it's the worst
thing I've done on this trip.

275
00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:21,279
I've been nailing it.

276
00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:22,446
She has.

277
00:13:22,716 --> 00:13:25,347
You have, I haven't been.

278
00:13:26,191 --> 00:13:28,783
I shouldn't be yelling at the
dean in front of any of you,

279
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,215
it's unprofessional.

280
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,936
You're all right, Frankie.
We got no complaints.

281
00:13:42,382 --> 00:13:44,960
I forgive all of you.

282
00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:52,185
What?

283
00:13:54,269 --> 00:13:55,732
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

284
00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:56,957
If there's no other business

285
00:13:57,082 --> 00:13:59,401
In a road trip story the first act would
end with us deciding to go on the trip.

286
00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:01,226
The second act would be the
trip ending with a disaster,

287
00:14:01,351 --> 00:14:02,647
and the third act would
be us getting back.

288
00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,785
The problem is that we've already
decided to take this trip weeks from now,

289
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,545
which means the story starts
with us already on the road,

290
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:08,371
which means the end of act one
won't be us going on the trip,

291
00:14:08,496 --> 00:14:09,601
it'll have to be the disaster.

292
00:14:09,726 --> 00:14:11,720
Which means something even
worse has to happen in act two.

293
00:14:11,845 --> 00:14:14,428
Unless we make the decision, right
now, that act one is a flashback,

294
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,643
so that the beginning story
is now instead of then.

295
00:14:24,478 --> 00:14:25,968
You forgive us?

296
00:14:26,427 --> 00:14:27,804
Absolutely.

297
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,847
You turd!

298
00:14:30,013 --> 00:14:31,057
I beg your pardon.

299
00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:34,264
You have no sense of accountability.
You're like a child.

300
00:14:34,389 --> 00:14:36,231
If I'm a child,
you're a child abuser.

301
00:14:36,356 --> 00:14:37,772
No, not cool, Annie.

302
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:41,651
You never just said, leave my
hand where it is, I like it there.

303
00:14:41,776 --> 00:14:43,194
I demand it stay.

304
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,887
Because everyone complained about it.

305
00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:46,909
Well, where's that commitment
to spinelessness

306
00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:48,658
when we're all admitting
we did stuff wrong?

307
00:14:48,824 --> 00:14:51,570
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm a bad dean, okay?

308
00:14:51,695 --> 00:14:53,871
No, that's what you always do.
That's not a real apology.

309
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,854
Abed, shut up.
Go flashback and cut to stuff.

310
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,993
And you, say you're sorry for buying
a giant hand and letting it sit around

311
00:15:00,118 --> 00:15:02,258
until we had to deal with
it, and say it without crying.

312
00:15:02,383 --> 00:15:04,023
No!
I'm an adult.

313
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,467
And you can't make me not cry.

314
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:09,861
You're all a bunch of bullies, and I
will say, I'm sorry, however I want.

315
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:12,570
And by the way, I'm not sorry!

316
00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:15,341
It's my giant hand and I love it.

317
00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:17,377
We're not selling it.

318
00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:20,243
This is like crate training a puppy.

319
00:15:20,368 --> 00:15:22,502
Everyone suppress every instinct
you have to let him out

320
00:15:22,627 --> 00:15:24,130
and sleep in bed with us.

321
00:15:24,255 --> 00:15:25,256
Cold.

322
00:15:26,277 --> 00:15:27,722
No, I mean, it's cold in the RV.

323
00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,786
I don't care how we treat
the dean tonight.

324
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:33,385
Abed, don't go out.

325
00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:44,409
Did they send you out
here to be mean to me too?

326
00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:47,842
- No.
- Good.

327
00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:50,961
Because I can't cry anymore unless
someone brings me a Pedialyte.

328
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:05,157
Here.

329
00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:14,952
Pretty comforting, huh?

330
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,254
We could've put it outside the
Art Department, or Biology,

331
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:21,042
or Wood Working
if we remove one of the fingers.

332
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:23,503
You don't belong up here.
It's not right that you're up here.

333
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,790
You get it, don't you, Abed?

334
00:16:26,617 --> 00:16:28,278
You know what's
important about the hand?

335
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:29,804
No, I know what's important
about the story,

336
00:16:29,929 --> 00:16:31,715
and I know we're structurally
overdue for a disaster.

337
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,841
Oh, great.

338
00:16:33,416 --> 00:16:36,766
Figures the one person on my side,
is the one playing people chess.

339
00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:39,757
Don't move!

340
00:16:39,882 --> 00:16:41,631
What the hell else
are we supposed to do?

341
00:16:41,756 --> 00:16:43,758
Flashback with me.
Just trust me.

342
00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:46,531
I set a flashback three weeks earlier.
It's how this story begins.

343
00:16:46,656 --> 00:16:48,496
Close your eyes and concentrate.

344
00:16:53,073 --> 00:16:54,659
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

345
00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:56,112
If there's no other business.

346
00:16:56,237 --> 00:16:57,912
- Oh, there's business.
- Yeah, there's business.

347
00:16:58,078 --> 00:17:01,916
When you tie the hand to the roof
we'd like you to use extra thick straps.

348
00:17:02,082 --> 00:17:04,126
- Extra thick.
- Extra thick straps!

349
00:17:04,292 --> 00:17:06,565
- Reinforced.
- All right. Meeting adjourned, great.

350
00:17:08,706 --> 00:17:10,524
Extra thick straps!

351
00:17:10,649 --> 00:17:12,601
Extra think straps.

352
00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:14,541
Extra thick straps.

353
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:15,972
Extra thick straps.

354
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:18,766
- There, that should do it.
- What should do it?

355
00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,476
We made the straps extra thick.
Remember?

356
00:17:20,642 --> 00:17:22,228
I don't remember
because it didn't happen.

357
00:17:22,394 --> 00:17:23,484
It didn't?

358
00:17:26,032 --> 00:17:27,033
What?

359
00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:30,319
Did something just fall off the roof?

360
00:17:30,485 --> 00:17:32,420
That's a really stupid
question, Annie.

361
00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:34,224
Obviously something
fell off the roof.

362
00:17:34,349 --> 00:17:35,574
The question is what?

363
00:17:43,901 --> 00:17:45,584
Abed, where's the dean?

364
00:17:47,037 --> 00:17:48,492
Oh, damn, come on.

365
00:17:50,979 --> 00:17:52,466
Okay, one, two, three.

366
00:17:52,632 --> 00:17:54,325
Carefully, carefully.

367
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:56,990
How do you lift a giant hand
off a person haphazardly?

368
00:17:57,115 --> 00:17:58,806
You know what, Annie

369
00:17:58,972 --> 00:17:59,849
Dean, hang on.

370
00:18:00,015 --> 00:18:02,226
Dean, we're so sorry, we love you.

371
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:06,702
Screw you!

372
00:18:06,827 --> 00:18:08,607
- What?
- Hey, that's my house.

373
00:18:08,773 --> 00:18:11,235
We are not sorry, we hate you!

374
00:18:11,401 --> 00:18:13,495
- Are we gonna freeze to death?
- I call the hand.

375
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:18,451
The fiberglass will
preserve body heat.

376
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:23,998
What's wrong with me if that's hot?

377
00:18:27,861 --> 00:18:31,302
Dean, these temperatures are lowering
our immune systems in a world that is

378
00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:34,234
swarming with weird people's
unvaccinated toddlers.

379
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:35,593
Deal with it.

380
00:18:35,759 --> 00:18:38,137
I'm gonna go run to the other side
and see if he's locked that door too.

381
00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:41,622
It probably undercuts my goals
to announce it out loud

382
00:18:41,747 --> 00:18:45,519
but I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even
sure I have an idea until I say it.

383
00:18:47,975 --> 00:18:50,566
They should make hiking boots
with a compass in the toe.

384
00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:51,400
Go!

385
00:18:51,566 --> 00:18:52,700
But don't you.

386
00:18:52,825 --> 00:18:56,870
Dean, we're sorry and we love you?

387
00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:59,734
Nice uncontrollable question mark,
Britta!

388
00:18:59,859 --> 00:19:01,188
You can't even fake it!

389
00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:03,982
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.

390
00:19:04,107 --> 00:19:08,052
Super realistic, Annie,
you're a real sociopath.

391
00:19:08,177 --> 00:19:11,072
I saw all your true colors
when the chips were down.

392
00:19:11,197 --> 00:19:12,963
Abed is the only human among you!

393
00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:15,605
And I think we all know how
ironic that is, no offense, Abed.

394
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:16,634
None possible.

395
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,438
Abed, you bonded with him.

396
00:19:19,563 --> 00:19:21,572
Talk to him.
You're alone in the end zone.

397
00:19:21,697 --> 00:19:23,516
This ball is yours or nobody's.

398
00:19:23,682 --> 00:19:26,612
I appreciate your appeal to my well know
passion for athletics, and sarcasm,

399
00:19:26,737 --> 00:19:29,438
but I didn't actually bond with him,
I almost killed him.

400
00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:32,117
My naive obsession with contrived
flashback technique

401
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:34,737
has kept me from being invested
in any of this actual story.

402
00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:36,054
I mean, what was it even?

403
00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:38,572
A bunch of people in an RV?
And I had to Christopher Nolan it?

404
00:19:38,738 --> 00:19:39,810
Well, there you go.

405
00:19:39,935 --> 00:19:43,552
Now you can forget all about stupid
three weeks earlier flashbacks

406
00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:45,955
and be a hero by joining us here,

407
00:19:46,121 --> 00:19:49,125
in the moment,
and talking to the dean like a human.

408
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,210
- That's my arc.
- That's your arc.

409
00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:54,359
Okay, here we go.

410
00:19:57,882 --> 00:19:58,843
If there's no other business.

411
00:19:59,009 --> 00:20:01,379
I'd like to propose a heavy use
of flashback in this episode.

412
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,722
- No Abed, don't do it.
- Thanks Abed.

413
00:20:04,431 --> 00:20:06,058
Stop that.
Get your head our of your ass.

414
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:07,625
I don't know how.
I'm over saturated with the gimmick.

415
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,478
- I don't know what's real.
- You are lying.

416
00:20:09,644 --> 00:20:11,397
You have to be lying.
You enjoy this.

417
00:20:11,563 --> 00:20:13,566
Stop this.
What has gotten into you?

418
00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:15,693
Why are you shocked
that he's alienated?

419
00:20:15,859 --> 00:20:18,237
You get him to do something
normal without abusing him.

420
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:20,113
Abed, listen.

421
00:20:20,238 --> 00:20:22,166
This is a flashback, remember?

422
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:24,667
The real story is
happening in the future.

423
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:27,955
You actually flashed
back to now to help us.

424
00:20:29,247 --> 00:20:30,893
Okay, that was pretty good.

425
00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:38,824
So sad what happened here,
all those centons ago.

426
00:20:39,886 --> 00:20:41,802
So sad.
So preventable.

427
00:20:41,968 --> 00:20:44,576
Space Elder Abed, can you reach
backward with your mind

428
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:45,806
and save our species?

429
00:20:46,317 --> 00:20:47,318
I can.

430
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,394
I'm Space Elder Britta.

431
00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:57,443
What are you guys talkin about?

432
00:21:05,685 --> 00:21:08,287
I'm here now, child.
All will be made right.

433
00:21:11,129 --> 00:21:12,674
- Dean.
- Abed.

434
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:15,085
I have discovered the
meaning of the giant hand.

435
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,903
A hand has two functions,
to grip and to release.

436
00:21:19,895 --> 00:21:22,462
But without both of these
powers, it is useless.

437
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:27,539
Like newborn infants, we grab what
comes near us, hoping to control it,

438
00:21:27,664 --> 00:21:30,319
taste it,
jam it into another child's eye.

439
00:21:31,527 --> 00:21:34,427
But, the time we spend
in control of our world,

440
00:21:35,329 --> 00:21:37,066
is the time we spend
letting go of others.

441
00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:39,599
Ideas, stories,

442
00:21:39,724 --> 00:21:42,110
pride, girls in soft sweaters,
video games,

443
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:44,785
buttered noodles,
grip one for too long

444
00:21:44,910 --> 00:21:47,383
and you loose so much
that you've never held.

445
00:21:50,928 --> 00:21:54,721
This giant hand, was sent to
all of us as an invitation.

446
00:21:54,846 --> 00:21:57,449
To increase our mastery
over the power to hold on.

447
00:21:59,304 --> 00:22:00,354
And let go.

448
00:22:09,089 --> 00:22:10,090
Sorry.

449
00:22:13,761 --> 00:22:14,561
Dummy.

450
00:22:14,727 --> 00:22:16,230
I kinda hate you.

451
00:22:26,531 --> 00:22:28,117
The doors are locked
on that side, too.

452
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:30,661
Took you long enough.

453
00:22:31,071 --> 00:22:33,497
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.

454
00:22:34,559 --> 00:22:36,000
Could you lie then?

455
00:22:36,363 --> 00:22:37,413
Sure I can.

456
00:22:37,871 --> 00:22:39,086
Sure I can.

457
00:22:41,699 --> 00:22:43,007
I slapped a man.

458
00:23:13,074 --> 00:23:17,294
Hi, this is Blake, the gentleman to
whom you're selling the giant hand.

459
00:23:17,419 --> 00:23:21,246
I am calling to confirm that
you have the correct address?

460
00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:24,563
We live at the end of a long driveway

461
00:23:24,688 --> 00:23:27,946
which often gets confused
with a road.

462
00:23:28,552 --> 00:23:33,131
Anyway, it's been many hours since
our scheduled appointment time.

463
00:23:33,256 --> 00:23:36,009
Again, it's Blake with a B,

464
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,976
the purchaser of the giant hand.

465
00:23:39,912 --> 00:23:40,913
Bye.

466
00:23:58,143 --> 00:24:00,959
- They're not coming, are they?
- I don't know, Karen. I left a message.

467
00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,524
What are you gonna do with...?

468
00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:04,937
What am I gonna do
with the giant watch?

469
00:24:05,062 --> 00:24:06,244
I don't know.

470
00:24:06,369 --> 00:24:08,130
I don't plan for failure.

471
00:24:08,255 --> 00:24:10,052
Have you tried planning for success?

472
00:24:10,218 --> 00:24:12,753
Does everything you do
to this family have...

473
00:24:13,846 --> 00:24:14,847
No.

474
00:24:14,972 --> 00:24:16,472
Finish your thought.

475
00:24:16,597 --> 00:24:17,784
Finish your thought.

476
00:24:17,909 --> 00:24:20,675
Does everything have to do with me,

477
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,149
purchasing oversize
items on the Internet.

478
00:24:24,315 --> 00:24:26,104
But, that's not what this
is really about, is it?

479
00:24:26,229 --> 00:24:29,113
It's not about a giant
hand, or a giant watch.

480
00:24:29,279 --> 00:24:32,273
- Please don't.
- It's about a normal sized son.

481
00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:37,055
Who disappeared
and it's all my fault,

482
00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:40,124
because I gave him a giant kite!

483
00:24:41,515 --> 00:24:44,527
Yes, how could you not
make that connection?

484
00:24:44,652 --> 00:24:48,733
Why do you continue to buy giant
size versions of everyday objects,

485
00:24:48,858 --> 00:24:51,176
when they are the reason
our son is...

486
00:24:51,342 --> 00:24:52,442
Disappeared!

487
00:24:52,567 --> 00:24:53,512
Disappeared.

488
00:24:53,678 --> 00:24:55,834
They never found his
body on the ground,

489
00:24:55,959 --> 00:24:57,863
which proves he's
still up there waiting.

490
00:24:57,988 --> 00:25:02,376
He's waiting for a better daddy,
with a bigger hand.

491
00:25:08,853 --> 00:25:09,903
Really?

492
00:25:11,279 --> 00:25:13,657
So then why the watch?

493
00:25:13,984 --> 00:25:15,576
I thought it would look really cool.

494
00:25:16,243 --> 00:25:20,276
I'm gonna walk the dog,
and eventually leave you.

495
00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:23,864
I'll put the watch in the garage.

496
00:25:25,167 --> 00:25:27,838
And probably stop showering.

497
00:25:28,004 --> 00:25:30,466
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