1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,520 Today, Britain stands at a fork in its crossroads. 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,240 And its people are asking questions. 3 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,960 Now we've got our country back, what actually is it? 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,600 Who are we? And why? 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,120 The best way to find out where Britain's heading 6 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,960 is to look behind us into something called "history" - 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:27,160 a sort of rear view mirror for time. 8 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,080 So that's where I'm going. 9 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,600 Back there. 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,960 It's a journey that'll take me the length and width of the country. 11 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,880 On my odyssey, I'll be starting sentences in one location... 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,000 .. and finishing them in another. 13 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,440 And looking at some of the biggest faces in British history, 14 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,840 and asking other people's faces about them. 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:52,000 If Shelley's one of the greatest poets in English literature, 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 how come nobody gives a shit about him today? 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,520 That's a complicated question. 18 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,840 But it's not just a story of things, 19 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,560 it's also a story of people sitting or standing on things. 20 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,280 All of it taking place in this skepterred isle we call home. 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,400 So join me, Philomena Cunk, as I take you right up 22 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,640 the history of The United Britain of Great Kingdom. 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,520 This... is Cunk on Britain. 24 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,120 Last time, we saw how the British leaped out of Britain itself 25 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,320 and sailed the world in boats. 26 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,480 This week we're examining the 19th century. 27 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,960 This was a time of invention, industry, discovery, 28 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,920 empire building, urban squalor, sexual hypocrisy, optimism, 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,000 statues, painting, photograph, 30 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,120 him, her, them and tree. 31 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,680 It was a time when British creativity was at its peak, 32 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,800 bringing us everything from great works of art 33 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,440 to great works of train. 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,920 A time when Britain very much entered 35 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,200 the third episode of its history. 36 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,840 It's the early 19th century 37 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,880 and Britain is in the grip of the Georgian Era, 38 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,600 a time when all English Kings had to be called George. 39 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,360 There was George Three, George Two, George Four and George One, 40 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,360 though not necessarily in that order. 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,200 The Georgian Era saw the birth of a new artistic movement - 42 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,080 The Romantics. 43 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,560 They weren't like the old romantics, 44 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,440 which is like when your dad buys your mum a box of Black Magic 45 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,040 from the service station when it isn't even her birthday, 46 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,880 and they weren't like the New Romantics, 47 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,080 which were all synthesisers and wind machines. 48 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,600 Instead, they were poets and artists 49 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,280 whose names are still familiar today. 50 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,320 Wordsworth. 51 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,360 Shelley. 52 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,560 Blake. 53 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,360 And the other ones. 54 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,800 To find out more, I went to speak to an expert. 55 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,440 Who was Ron? 56 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,560 Among the Romantics, you mean? 57 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,960 Yeah. 58 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,600 Um... William Godwin was quite wrong. 59 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,400 He believed that there should be no laws at all in society. 60 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,040 No, who's Ron? 61 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,240 Ron? Uh, is there a Ron? 62 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,360 Yeah, the one that wrote all the poems and signed them "By Ron". 63 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,640 Yeah, that... That was his family name - Byron. 64 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,520 Lord George Byron. 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,040 Oh. right! OK. 66 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,200 Yeah. 67 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,560 Who was the man from Nantucket that By Ron wrote about in his poem? 68 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,840 I don't remember that poem. 69 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,120 It's the one that goes "There was a young man from Nantucket". 70 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,480 Is that Byron? I think so. 71 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,920 It was really good. 72 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,880 So how did it end? 73 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,000 Byron was like a rock star. 74 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,080 He was sexy, like Mick Jagger, 75 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,040 brooding, like Kurt Cobain 76 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,600 and he had brown hair, like Harry Styles. 77 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,880 Little wonder he's still considered 78 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,440 the number one dead romantic in history. 79 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,080 Which was your favourite of the Romantics? 80 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,120 Probably, um, Byron, I would think. 81 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,800 Byron was the bad-boy of the Romantic poets. 82 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,640 It's thought that he probably slept with his sister 83 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,880 and with most other women in England. 84 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,600 He was your favourite? 85 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,520 Yeah. The one who slept with his sister? 86 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,360 Well, it's not... I mean, I... 87 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,080 It's not on that basis that I like him. 88 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,280 I was just giving you a bit of background on him. 89 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,720 Would that have shocked people 90 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,280 or was everyone sleeping with their sister back then? 91 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,560 I think it was... 92 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,480 He spent much of his life in exile and... 93 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,640 Where's exile? 94 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,320 Well, in his case it was in Italy, mainly. 95 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,440 And he wrote Don Juan, which was one of the greatest pieces 96 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,560 of particularly rhyming poetry in English literature. 97 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,320 It must've been a good book 98 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,760 if you can overlook the fact he slept with his sister. 99 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,120 But not all women of the age 100 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,520 were Byron's sister who he was sleeping with. 101 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,480 Some of them were other women, like this one. 102 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,600 What exactly was Jane Austen? 103 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:59,720 Jane Austen was a woman from Hampshire who wrote novels. 104 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,480 Is that it? 105 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,040 Yes, that's it. 106 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,480 Absolutely. 107 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,360 Austen wrote novels, which are books, 108 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,280 which look like this on the outside, and this on the inside, 109 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,160 filled with words it's almost impossible to care about. 110 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,800 When are they going to translate Jane Austen's books into proper English? 111 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,040 You know, from like ancient English. 112 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,760 Because they're sort of hard to concentrate on, aren't they, 113 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,760 now that we've got, like, phones and stuff. 114 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,840 Well, she's not that hard, really. 115 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,360 Those sentences have sometimes got some nice balancing clauses 116 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,480 with a lot of humour in them. 117 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,640 Why do they keep making Jane Austen's books 118 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,440 into films and TV shows? 119 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,320 There's only about five of them, isn't there? 120 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,880 Whereas, like, there's 50 Mr Men books 121 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,480 and they haven't done all of those yet. 122 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,000 I think there are lots of reasons for that. 123 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,520 People love the love stories. 124 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,960 They like the costumes. 125 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:59,240 They're also wonderful books with lots of opportunities for humour. 126 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,680 Are you talking about Jane Austen or Mr Men? 127 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,120 Probably both. 128 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,480 Yeah. Who's your favourite Mr Man? 129 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,920 Mr Tickle, probably. 130 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,720 Yeah. I love Mr Tickle. 131 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,720 Jane Austen died in 1817 132 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:18,400 only to be reincarnated 200 years later in the form of this banknote. 133 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,360 But important though she was, 134 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,960 she wasn't the most significant woman of the century. 135 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,360 That honour belonged to Queen Victoria. 136 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,240 Queen Victoria is often portrayed as old and grumpy. 137 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,480 It's where the term "Victoria Cross" comes from. 138 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,080 But she wasn't always a sour, disapproving old woman. 139 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,920 She was once a sour, disapproving baby. 140 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:45,760 Queen Victoria was born in 1819, in the usual way, out of a woman. 141 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,840 It was hard to tell that this infant would grow up to be Queen 142 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,800 because her crown hadn't yet formed. 143 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:52,840 It was just hair, 144 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:56,920 which must've been a relief to her mother as she was pushing her out. 145 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,960 As well as looking miserable, her other hobby was fashion. 146 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,760 Even at an early age, she was dressing like a cross 147 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,040 between a disillusioned Lord Mayor and an angry hen. 148 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,600 In 1837, aged 18, Victoria became Queen. 149 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:15,120 Her reign was to be a period of great industrial, cultural, 150 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,480 scientific, and political change, 151 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,000 but the main thing people asked her about was why she was still single 152 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,800 and when she was getting married. 153 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,240 Eventually, to shut everyone up, she fell in love with her cousin, Albert. 154 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,960 Prince Albert was German, 155 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,120 but Victoria was willing to overlook that because they were in love. 156 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,440 And because most of her family were German, too. 157 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:40,400 Their untrammelled sexual passion is evident in every photograph of them. 158 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,920 What no-one saw coming was that during Victoria's reign, 159 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,720 Britain would be turned upside-down by an avalanche 160 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,400 of hurricane proportions, called progress. 161 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,920 This was the Industrial Revelation. 162 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,880 And the very first winds of that changequake 163 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,120 detonated in the almost pre-historic world of transport. 164 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,680 The Victorians had horse-drawn buses, 165 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,680 but you never see horses drawing anything these days, do you? 166 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,320 When did they lose the ability to draw? 167 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:12,040 Is it when their hands sort of turned into hooves? 168 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,200 When we talk about horse-drawn buses, we're not really talking 169 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,080 about horses drawing buses, but pulling them along. 170 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,440 So that... That's the meaning of the word "draw" in this instance. 171 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,480 Oh. Right. 172 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,840 And that stopped, really, once we had the railways 173 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,960 and then even more the engines. 174 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,840 Engines ran on a mysterious new element 175 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,240 the Victorians had discovered called steam. 176 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,480 It was a big deal, wasn't it, 177 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,360 when they got trains to run on steam. 178 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,280 Where did they get the steam that powered the trains back then? 179 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,320 Did they have to sort of mine it from underground? 180 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,360 Or did they get it from the sky? 181 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,960 Well, you can actually make steam by boiling water. 182 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,960 So what they're doing is using the coal to boil the water 183 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,480 and make the steam that way. 184 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,200 Right, so clouds are made of boiling water? 185 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:07,160 Why don't planes boil then when we fly through them? 186 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,680 I think you probably want to speak to a meteorologist... 187 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,280 Oh... .. about the clouds. 188 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,440 OK. 189 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:24,040 As well as carrying steam, trains could move people huge distances, 190 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:29,160 and they worked much harder, and faster, than horses. 191 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,120 And unlike horses, they've got a big smiling face on the front, 192 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,920 and the voice of Ringo Starr. 193 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:39,920 Soon the inevitable happened and mankind bred with trains, 194 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:45,360 creating half-human, half-train super-engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel, 195 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,000 who kicked the Industrial Revolution into overdrive. 196 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,160 Why is Brunel considered one of the greatest Britons of all time? 197 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:58,960 Brunel built so many different things - towns, canals, bridges. 198 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,440 I mean he was responsible for many of the things 199 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,160 that happened during the Industrial Revolution. 200 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,800 He really took our country forward in terms of technological progress. 201 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,440 Where does he rank compared to, say, Nick Knowles? 202 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,240 He's definitely further up the list, on my list... 203 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,720 Nick Knowles or Brunel? 204 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,080 Brunel. 205 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,560 I suppose we haven't given Nick Knowles a proper chance yet, have we? 206 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,960 We don't know what he might come up with yet. 207 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,360 This is one of Brunel's most famous achievements - 208 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,720 the Clifton Suspension Bridge, Britain's first white-knuckle ride. 209 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,720 Although disappointingly flat compared to today's rollercoasters, 210 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,360 millions still flock to Bristol every year 211 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,480 just to queue up and have a go on it. 212 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,000 As well as bridges and tunnels, 213 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,320 the Industrial Revolution brought factories. 214 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,080 Factories were cavernous halls of noise and machinery, 215 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,040 dirty and dangerous environments without even basic Wi-Fi 216 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,760 and only the most rudimentary break-out spaces. 217 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,160 But they were changing Britain forever. 218 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,680 These days, no-one works in these factories except ghosts, 219 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:04,120 and even then, they only work night shifts. 220 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,640 Workers did long, thankless hours, with no breaks and low pay 221 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,200 in a squalid and threatening environment. 222 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,760 Conditions unthinkable today to anyone who isn't a junior doctor. 223 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,880 The Industrial Revolution was so frenetic, 224 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,320 a man called Charles Babbage got carried away 225 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,560 and invented the computer far too early. 226 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,920 Modern computers are tiny, but this was as big as a Transit van. 227 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,600 It was even bigger than the 1990s one your dad's got in the loft 228 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,400 and won't throw away in case the bin men find all his bank details 229 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,000 and mucky jpegs. 230 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,800 Hello. Who are you? 231 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,120 I'm Doron Swade. 232 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,880 I'm a historian of computing 233 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,320 and I was responsible for building this engine. 234 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,960 So what games does it have? 235 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,160 It doesn't have any games. 236 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,720 It must have, like, some basic games, 237 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,560 like Mario Kart or Snake or... I'm afraid not. 238 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,200 .. or Patience, like the shittest one. 239 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,600 It must have Patience. 240 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,840 I'm afraid it doesn't. 241 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,040 It doesn't have any games? None whatever. 242 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,400 It just does mathematical calculation. 243 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,400 So where's the screen on this computer? 244 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,960 The screen, again, is part of the electronic era. 245 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,560 This has no screens. 246 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,640 As it happens, you don't need to read the numbers 247 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,680 because it prints them automatically for you. 248 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:14,240 It's a shame, isn't it, that it doesn't have a screen 249 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,200 because then you could turn it upside-down 250 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,120 and the numbers would become rude words. 251 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,640 You know, like with a calculator? 252 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,120 Yes. 253 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,320 Have you ever done that? 254 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,080 I haven't but I know what you mean. 255 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,120 You've done this but you haven't done that? Correct. 256 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:33,280 Babbage never foresaw the terrible consequences of his invention - 257 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:37,880 a machine that would autocorrect his name to "cabbage" every single time. 258 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,680 The Victorian age was an era of huge and inventive leaps. 259 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,960 But one man was about to take too large a step for many, 260 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,840 Charles Darwin. 261 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,120 Darwin was born the son of a doctor, 262 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,520 but using his own theories, soon evolved into a scientist. 263 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,000 He was faskinated by nature, 264 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,840 and decided to find out more about it by going to sea on a beagle. 265 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,920 Darwin, uh, sailed off on his science mission on a beagle, 266 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,840 didn't he? 267 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,840 He did, yeah, he went off for five years on The Beagle. 268 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,720 Yeah. A small ship which... 269 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,720 It was a ship? circumnavigated, yeah, circumnavigated the world... 270 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,960 Not a dog? 271 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,440 No. So it wasn't a ship that evolved into a dog? 272 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,200 Certainly not, no. 273 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,640 On his journey, he visited the Noel Gallagher's Islands 274 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,520 and came up with a theory - 275 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,880 that animals that were dead were less likely to reproduce 276 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,480 than ones that were alive. 277 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,480 Talk me through the events that led up to the moment 278 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,080 where Charles Darwin invented the monkey. 279 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,200 Darwin didn't... invent the monkey. 280 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,120 No-one invented a monkey. 281 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,280 OK, well, talk me through the events which led up the moment 282 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,200 where Charles Darwin didn't invent the monkey. 283 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,200 Charles Darwin saw monkeys as potential progenitors of humans, 284 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,680 ie, we could have evolved from them. 285 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,680 When they put monkeys in zoos, 286 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,320 how long does it take for them to turn human? 287 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,960 Well, it's not really to do with the zoo. 288 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,640 Alright, so say we kept one in the wild, 289 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,560 how long would it take for that monkey to grow, 290 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,120 like, a nose or ears? 291 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,720 Well, they have noses and ears that are perfectly functional. 292 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,200 Like a man's nose. 293 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,800 Those apes and monkeys don't need a human nose. 294 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,360 It wouldn't do them any good. 295 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,040 What's the fastest evolution could happen? 296 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,240 Like, how fast could you turn a pig into a cow? 297 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,400 A pig into a cow? 298 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:36,040 You're never going to be able to turn a pig into a cow. 299 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,440 Why would you want to turn a pig into a cow? 300 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,400 Pigs are quite good at being pigs 301 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,480 and cows are relatively good at being cows. 302 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,960 Why do you want to turn a pig into a cow? 303 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,960 Just to see what it's like. 304 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,800 In 1859, he wrote a book about his theory 305 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,920 called The Oranges Of The Peaches, 306 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,360 which described how oranges have evolved from peaches. 307 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,480 Controversially, the book claimed that man was descended from monkeys, 308 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,680 a twist most of the readers were unprepared for. 309 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,840 The idea that man and ape were close relatives was considered 310 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,880 both hilarious and shocking - 311 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,600 a bit like Graham Norton, 312 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,800 but with more profound consequences for all humankind. 313 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,320 Eventually Darwin evolved himself 314 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,520 into a corpse. 315 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:23,240 He was buried here, in Westminster Abbey, before evolving again, 316 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,080 into worms and dust. 317 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,760 Meanwhile, Britain itself was evolving into an empire. 318 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,200 The British Empire was the biggest the world had ever seen. 319 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,360 It had started back in the days of Drake and Raleigh, 320 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,360 then expanded when Captain Cook discovered Australia 321 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,120 when he took the first-ever gap year working on a beach near Sydney. 322 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,080 With its year-round sunshine and abundant food, 323 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,480 Australia was deemed the perfect place to send Britain's murderers. 324 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,760 It was hoped they'd suffer terrible homesickness 325 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,760 as they lay soaking up the sun. 326 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,560 But there was a dark side 327 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:59,680 to Britain's ever-increasing globalisation - slavery. 328 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,480 These days, people pay thousands of pounds to visit 329 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,720 the sun-kissed islands of the Caribbean. 330 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,640 But in the 1700s, you could go there for free, 331 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,760 if you were black and didn't want to go there. 332 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,320 It was immediately obvious to anyone that slavery was wrong, 333 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,680 which is why it was only allowed to continue for hundreds of years. 334 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,240 There were many countries in the British Empire. 335 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,320 By Victoria's day, the empire bits were coloured pink on the map, 336 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,240 to remind white Britons what colour they'd turn if they went there 337 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,200 and stood in the sun too long. 338 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,680 And no bit of the map was pinker than the Jewel in the Crown - India. 339 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,760 For years, a British business, the East India Company, 340 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,400 had ruled over India - and the locals weren't happy. 341 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,160 A corporation running a country is the sort of thing that 342 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,560 usually happens in a scary science fiction film, but this was real, 343 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,920 and ages ago, and had all tea leaves in it instead of lasers. 344 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,960 After a people's rebellion, the company was replaced 345 00:16:55,960 --> 00:17:00,760 in 1858 by the British monarchy and the British Raj was born. 346 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,040 Queen Victoria was made Empress of India in 1877, 347 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,560 a title she was so thrilled by, 348 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,000 she immediately set about never visiting the Indian continent 349 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,280 at any point in her life. 350 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,800 For some reason, the debate still rages as to how good 351 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,480 the British Empire actually was. 352 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,640 Was the British Empire evil like it was in Star Wars? 353 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,760 I think the important point here is that yes, many people would 354 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,600 have seen the British Empire as being an evil empire, 355 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,200 whilst at the same time many people - 356 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,840 unsurprisingly, most of them British - 357 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,280 would have seen it as something that was a beacon of light, 358 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,680 so I think that here lies one of the key debates 359 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,720 in British imperial history - was it good or was it bad? 360 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,680 Who was the Darth Vader of the Empire? 361 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,920 Was it Queen Victoria? 362 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,680 You probably wouldn't have had anyone 363 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,480 quite as powerful as Darth Vader as, if you like, a supreme leader. 364 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,960 Erm... What about Luke Skywalker? 365 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,120 I think many people would have liked to have undertaken 366 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,080 a Skywalker-like role as a saviour, 367 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,360 but there probably weren't too many of those around. 368 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,440 Chewbacca? 369 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,360 No, I think that's stretching it. 370 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:12,040 Meanwhile, back home, with machines doing all the hard work, people had 371 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,360 more free time on their hands than ever and they needed entertaining. 372 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,720 What sort of music was popular in Victorian times? 373 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,440 What were the genres? R&B, soul, rock? 374 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,040 One was, erm, the music hall. 375 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,720 Is music hall the first sort of music named after a building? 376 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,320 And do you think that was a big influence on acid house? 377 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:39,840 Despite the name, music hall wasn't just music in a hall. 378 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,920 As well as singers, there were comedians, dancers and variety turns 379 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,000 like on Britain's Got Talent, but with a few differences. 380 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,600 Back then, audiences enjoyed the acts for themselves, 381 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,800 rather than asking David Walliams or Amanda Holden to do it for them. 382 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,880 And because the only way to change channel in Victorian Times 383 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,280 was to walk up the road to a different music hall, 384 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,280 the acts could be a lot shitter. 385 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,480 So could you play some music hall for me now? 386 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,880 Erm, right, well, there were lots of popular songs 387 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880 and they liked certain sorts of rhythms and vamps. 388 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,360 So this was a very popular one, which goes like this... 389 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,280 That sort of rhythm... Hmm. .. was very popular. 390 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,920 So why was that considered entertaining? 391 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:32,080 But while commoners enjoyed this Victorian equivalent of ITV, 392 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,560 posh folk were getting into a primitive, paper-based form 393 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,160 of television called books, which streamed content from the page 394 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,280 into your mind's eye. 395 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,640 Books were being produced in huge numbers. 396 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,440 Perhaps that's why the Victorian era produced more Victorian writers 397 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,120 than any other period in history. 398 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,720 This is one of them - Sir Arthur Coning Roddy Doyle, 399 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,800 perhaps the greatest writer of detective fiction 400 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:02,160 he could possibly be - the inventor of Sherlock Holmes. 401 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,200 The first Sherlock Holmes story was such a hit, 402 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,040 Coning Doyle wrote 55 sequels, 403 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,840 which is four more than The Fast And The Furious. 404 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,400 Although, in the Sherlock Holmes stories, 405 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,880 some stuff happens that isn't skidding. 406 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,720 Since his Victorian origins, Sherlock Holmes himself has 407 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,440 regenerated many times and in many different forms throughout history, 408 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,720 from drawings, to black-and-white man, 409 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,680 to a black-and-white-man in colour, 410 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,640 into a cricketer and even an alien. 411 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,640 But perhaps the best-known Victorian to put quill to paper 412 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,640 is one of the greatest writists Britain has ever shat out - 413 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,320 Sir Charles Dickings. 414 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,040 Dickings lived here, in a house, 415 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,160 but he left when the council turned it into a museum, gift shop 416 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,960 and education centre in his memory. 417 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,240 He became a writer, 418 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,360 and began to create some of the most time-consuming stories in history. 419 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:57,800 The names of Dickings' most famous works are still familiar today. 420 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,360 Nicholas Nickelback. 421 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,920 Great Defecations. 422 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,680 David's Copper Field. 423 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,160 The Picnic Papers. 424 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,960 And his masterpiece... 425 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,880 .. Oliver's Twist. 426 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,400 Despite the spoiler in its title, Oliver's Twist doesn't have a twist 427 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:16,600 at the end, which, come to think of it, is a brilliant twist in itself. 428 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,800 That's how clever Dickings was. 429 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,960 Like many of Dickings' works, 430 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:34,480 Oliver's Twist exposed the grim underbelly of Victorian London. 431 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,120 As you can see from this blistering adaptation, 432 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,840 it's an uncompromising, searing vision of extreme poverty 433 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,440 and synchronised dancing. 434 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:47,640 Despite his genius, Dickings' immortality couldn't last, 435 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,120 and in 1870, he died - forever. 436 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,920 We don't know what his last words were, or whether he managed 437 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,400 to blurt out "the end" just before closing his mouth for the last time. 438 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,040 But while Dickings was celebrated, another Victorian wordsmith 439 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,520 found himself on the wrong side of the law. 440 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,360 Oscar Wilde was a brilliant writer and wit, 441 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:11,400 which is the Victorian word for "top bantz merchant". 442 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,560 He was persecuted for being gay, 443 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,440 and ended up in Reed-ing Gaol. 444 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,200 Luckily, being a literary man, 445 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,280 he loved reading, and was so happy he wrote a song about it. 446 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,760 Sadly, it didn't do very well, because there's no tune to speak of 447 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:31,000 and, as you can see, he's misspelt "jail" on the front. 448 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,440 The Victorians treated Wilde like a sexual deviant 449 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,480 because they were extremely prudish. 450 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,880 In polite society, clothing was prim and proper. 451 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,640 Even glimpsing an ankle was considered racy. 452 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,400 So chances are anyone seeing a bum would've had a stroke. 453 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,000 In fact, the famed Victorian morality was nothing more than 454 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,800 a hypocritical front - for one thing, 455 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,000 as these photographs prove, people still had buttocks and muffs. 456 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,080 Some people even had intercourse. 457 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,600 Victorian London in particular was a hotbed of vice, 458 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,800 with many a so-called "respectable gentleman" 459 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,560 paying women for sex up the East End. 460 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,640 If you were a prostitute in London in 1888, there were two words 461 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,400 guaranteed to put the fear of god into you - "Jack"... 462 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,000 .. and "the Ripper". 463 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,200 Jack the Ripper was one of the most antisocial murderers 464 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,800 Britain has ever seen. 465 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,160 Much of the fear of The Ripper was stirred up by the press. 466 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,560 And by the way he kept killing people. 467 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,160 The murders brought shame on 19th-century London, 468 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,840 which is why, unlike other prominent Victorians of the age, 469 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,360 Jack the Ripper has never appeared on a banknote. 470 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:42,040 Despite this, he's just as popular today as he wasn't back then. 471 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,200 You can still go on Ripper tours around Whitechapel - 472 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,600 a fun way of commemorating a serial killer, 473 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,920 although committing murders on the tour itself is lightly discouraged. 474 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,760 Because the culprit himself was never caught, 475 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,240 there's a lot we still don't know about Jack the Ripper. 476 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,440 We don't know who he was or why he did it. 477 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,720 We don't even know if Jack the Ripper was his real name, 478 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,080 or just a nickname, like 50 Cent. 479 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,840 We don't know when he died, or if he died. 480 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,760 It's chilling to think Jack the Ripper could still be alive today, 481 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,120 living somewhere out there, under his real name. 482 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,440 Maybe he's one of your friends or neighbours. 483 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,320 Or maybe... he's you. 484 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,440 You'd have no way of knowing. 485 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,080 And that's terrifying. 486 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,600 But it wasn't just prostitutes who died in Victorian Britain. 487 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,600 So did Victoria's beloved husband Albert, who succumbed to typhoid 488 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,840 and stomach and bum trouble in 1861, a mere 125 years 489 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,720 before the first transmission of the BBC comedy series Brush Strokes. 490 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,880 Victoria was so heartbroken by Albert's death, 491 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,200 she spent the rest of her life wearing black and pulling a face 492 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,640 like Alfred Hitchcock watching a dog drown. 493 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,880 The grieving queen commissioned monuments to Albert's memory, 494 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,960 such as the Prince Albert Memorial and the Royal Albert Hall, 495 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,000 which functioned as both a concert hall 496 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,640 and a receptacle for Adolf Hitler's missing bollock. 497 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,800 And then Victoria did what any widow would, 498 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,400 and went off to the Isle of Wight 499 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,400 to look out of the window until she died. 500 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,440 Fittingly for a monarch whose reign 501 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,840 had seen many technomalogical advancements, 502 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,120 moving pictures had just been invented - 503 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,200 just in time to capture her funeral - 504 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,400 but, sadly, not in time for her to enjoy the footage of her funeral. 505 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,800 The entire country came to a standstill for the procession. 506 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,800 It was as though the British public weren't just burying a queen, 507 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,720 but an entire era, which they'd somehow managed to 508 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,840 fit in the box along with her body. 509 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,960 The death of Queen Victoria reduced the number of women with 510 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,960 a voice in British politics by 100%. 511 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,800 Because in 1901, women did not have the vote, even though, 512 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,200 at the time, half the men in Britain were women. 513 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,560 Women were thought of as simple creatures who could give birth 514 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,160 and raise families, but couldn't be trusted with 515 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,440 something as complicated as drawing an X with a pencil. 516 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,800 Today it's unthinkable that a woman wouldn't be able to vote, 517 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,680 unless she was really hungover or in her slippers and it was raining, 518 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,160 but back then it was the law. 519 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,280 One woman decided that had to change. 520 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,480 Emmerdale Pankhurst thought women could be more than just wives 521 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,760 and mothers, so she deliberately only had five children, 522 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,120 leaving her loads of time for politics. 523 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,440 She founded the suffragette movement. 524 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,520 These women were tough and prepared to fight. 525 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,040 Like Wonder Woman, but with sleeves. 526 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,960 The suffragettes protested in creative ways. 527 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,360 Some chained themselves to important buildings, 528 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,200 rather than the kitchen sink. 529 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,200 Others went on hunger strike, 530 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,040 kick-starting the food detox craze that continues to this day. 531 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,280 One suffragette, Emily Davison, threw herself under a horse 532 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,720 to get the vote. 533 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,920 But the vote wasn't under a horse. 534 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,960 It was in a little wooden booth in a primary school. 535 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,280 But, to be fair, women wouldn't have known that. 536 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,160 The suffragettes wanted the vote so badly, 537 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:33,560 they were prepared to die for it. 538 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:34,680 Nobody knows why. 539 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,640 Maybe they imagined it was better in here than it actually is. 540 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,720 Maybe they thought there'd be games or sandwiches in here. 541 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,000 If they'd known it was just a pencil on a shoelace, 542 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,400 they might not have bothered. 543 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,000 Eventually, women did get the vote after the next bit of history, 544 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,640 but I can't skip past the next bit, because the next bit is war, 545 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,080 and men will find that interesting. 546 00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,240 Next time, we move into the early 20th century, 547 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,240 a period when TV was invented, 548 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,840 making life actually worth living for the first time. 549 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:11,040 And also, a time when Britain fought two World Wars, but no World Cups. 550 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,120 Why were all the British soldiers in World War I called Tommy? 551 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:25,120 Was that just a coincidence?