1 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,896 ♪ Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night ♪ 2 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,064 ♪ Lookin' for the fight of her life ♪ 3 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,693 ♪ In the real-time world no one sees her at all ♪ 4 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,613 ♪ They all say she's crazy ♪ 5 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,700 ♪ It can cut you like a knife ♪ 6 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,162 ♪ If the gift becomes the fire ♪ 7 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:41,291 ♪ On a wire between will and what will be ♪ 8 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:46,254 ♪ She's a maniac Maniac on the floor ♪ 9 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:52,803 {\an8}♪ And she's dancing like she's never danced before ♪ 10 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,722 {\an8}♪ She's a maniac... ♪ 11 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,724 {\an8}- Oh, hello. - Oh, you're so late. 12 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,892 You're so beautiful. 13 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,186 - You're beautiful. - Call me after class. 14 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,604 Morning. 15 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,815 Let's have a seat, huh? 16 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:09,361 Jessica, tell your mom she can't send me emails like that, okay? 17 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,779 It's inappropriate. 18 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:16,576 Oh, this is fun. What up to you guys as well. 19 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,790 Oh, right-- No, wait-- All right. 20 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,626 Everyone did the reading? 21 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,420 The kids this year, I feel like they're less woke. Did you notice that? 22 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,672 They're not into being woke anymore. 23 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,757 - It circled back around. - It circled all the way around. 24 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,093 Now they're for what they say they're against. 25 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,303 Right. And they're saying the R-word again. 26 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,389 You had that kid-- What was he saying about the Spanish Inquisition? 27 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,766 I had to teach both sides of the Spanish Inquisition. 28 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,434 - It's so insane. - He got upset, started crying. 29 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,478 - It was a whole thing. - I have kids that are showing me 30 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,898 AI porn of Oscar Wilde having sex with women. 31 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,650 He was gay. 32 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,527 Six years at this school. Today, no Dinty Moore. 33 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,571 - Dinty Moore stew? - What is Dinty Moore? 34 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,364 I can't believe they even still make that stuff. 35 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,283 Whenever I see it, I think it's a can of dog food. 36 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,118 Guess I'm dieting today, which is good, by the way, 37 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,786 'cause all these little fuckers roaming around 38 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,621 filming everything we do... I know. 39 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,873 ...and sending it off to communist China. 40 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,041 What are you talking about? 41 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,544 Let me ask you. Why is the number one app in the world... 42 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,504 - No politics. - ...run by America's only enemy? 43 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,089 - Didn't we say no politics? - I did say that. 44 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,216 Didn't we make a policy: no politics? 45 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,260 People say they vote with their dollar. A lot of people do. 46 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,388 I vote with my dollar. I also vote with my vote, okay? 47 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,599 And I never choose who I'm gonna vote for till after the debates. 48 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,642 - That is not true. - It's 100% true. 49 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,644 - It is not true that you wait-- - Believe it, buddy, all right? 50 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,355 It's called nobility of spirit. You got it too. Deep inside. 51 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:29,566 You just need a hot boyfriend to spank it out of you every morning. 52 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,359 Do not bring lunch from home. 53 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,944 It's not worth it this year. Wait, what? 54 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,863 I can't be carrying this much shit! 55 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,073 - What do you mean "this year"? - They upgraded the lunch. 56 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,284 - Look. Markie's got pecan pie. - Who upgraded the lunch? 57 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,244 Dude, you guys gotta respond to my stock guy. 58 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,622 He's got new opportunities. I don't want you guys to miss out. 59 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,124 Rick, I would politely ask you to stop sending us those emails 60 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,835 because those actually are spam, and that guy, I think, is scamming you. 61 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,420 This guy is legit. I met him at a TED talk. 62 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,796 - You went to a TED talk? - Yeah. 63 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,423 Or was it TEDx? 64 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,091 It's different? What's different? 65 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,304 This is why I get my paycheck in cash. It goes right in the safe. 66 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,015 That's insane. Are you stupid? You're losing .8% each year. 67 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,183 You pay taxes on that? 68 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,392 Taxation is theft. 69 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,560 Right. Who is that? 70 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,562 That's the new physics teacher. 71 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:08,980 - He's filling in for Jennifer... - He's cool. 72 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,692 ...for the first semester, or the year, if she does well on The Amazing Race. 73 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,736 I can't believe she got on that show with a hernia. 74 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,488 No, I think it was a atopic baby. 75 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,989 That's not the word. Evan. 76 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,491 Evan, can I talk to you in my office? 77 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,951 - Now? - Yes. Come, come. 78 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,202 No vaping. I can smell it. 79 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,286 No, you can't. 80 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,371 Here it is... 81 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,667 Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 82 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,961 Okay. Yeah. 83 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,796 - You're being investigated. - I'm being investigated? 84 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,297 - For what? - A mom named Linda Harrison... 85 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,882 - Linda Harrison? - I know that name. 86 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,384 ...alleges that you kissed your boyfriend 87 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,969 - in front of her son... - Oh, my God. 88 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,930 ...and a whole class of other high schoolers at the end of last school year. 89 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,015 You talked to me about that when it happened. That was nothing. 90 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:47,560 I know. But now she's made a formal complaint, and I have to read this. 91 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,312 Wait, her kid-- That kid graduated. 92 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,272 He's in college now. Why is she doing this now? 93 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,358 I don't know. Why does anybody do anything? 94 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,527 Wait a minute. Linda Harrison. I remember that name. 95 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:59,280 That's the mom that complained about the assigned reading. 96 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,159 - Lewd content, yeah. - Lewd content, right? 97 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,705 And do you remember what the book was that she said was lewd? 98 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,125 The Great Gatsby. 99 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,419 Do you know how long that's been on the curriculum? 100 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,170 - Oh, my God. - This doesn't make sense. 101 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,172 This is political. She's doing a political move. 102 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,757 Yeah, politics are real. 103 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,135 Why doesn't Markie ever get investigated for all that shit he says? 104 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,302 - Who? - Markie. 105 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,804 Markie, the gym teacher. Markie. 106 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,347 Mark-- He can't be investigated. 107 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,558 He has a protected victim status... 108 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,768 - How do I get that? - ...because he was injured 109 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:32,105 in a car accident in his first week of training in the ROTC, 110 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,650 and he's 1/32nd Native American, and he has paper proof of that. 111 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,902 - This is insane. - I mean, you kissed her-- 112 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,238 You kissed your boyfriend in front of her son. 113 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,574 - This is serious now. - I literally was just, like... 114 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,117 Just like barely-- Just like... 115 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,785 I don't even know if our lips touched. 116 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,162 Do you understand? This is homophobia. 117 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,122 - This is what homophobia's like. - I don't care what it is. 118 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,874 - It's insidious. - I'm agoraphobic. 119 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,960 So what do I do? I just wait for my fate to be decided? 120 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,212 I don't know. You can do anything. You-- 121 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,465 If you hand in your resignation letter, 122 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,550 you could work in a restaurant or something, 123 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,844 or, you know, do a short film with your friends. 124 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,220 Join Amway. Amway is very good. 125 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,139 You want me to quit this job? 126 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,308 No, I don't want you to quit. I don't want you to quit. 127 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,893 She wants you to quit. 128 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,521 Look, what I want you to do is write a statement 129 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,190 in defense of your position, okay? 130 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,067 - I'll submit it on your behalf. - In defense? 131 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,152 - That's what I can do. - I'm not writing a statement. 132 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,030 - This whole thing is bullshit. - It's not bullshit. 133 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,532 You're lucky they're not suspending you. 134 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,577 Grant, let me ask you something. 135 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,746 - Her kid-- Remember that kid? - Yeah. 136 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,830 Is he gay now? 137 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,333 He's in college and he's gay now, right? 138 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,001 I always felt like that kid was gay. 139 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,878 Just-- Evan, just stop. 140 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,713 - Stop. Just stop. - I'm right? I'm right. 141 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,381 She thinks I turned her kid gay. 142 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,050 - Will you stop that? - This is insane! 143 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,219 Evan, just please take the rest of the day off! 144 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,472 I mean, I guess I have said this before. 145 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,974 Not to, like, whatever, but I did quit for a reason. 146 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,768 I know you quit for a reason. 147 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,354 I'm, like-- I really am thriving right now. 148 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,689 They're, like, giving away tech jobs in Austin. 149 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,150 I've worked at the job for, what, two months now. 150 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,070 I've used my dental insurance four times. Four times. 151 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,947 I'm getting braces for, like, no reason. 152 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,574 I'm not gonna quit teaching. I can't just work in tech. 153 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,619 I need a job that means something to me, which I hate. 154 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,079 Yeah. No, that-- that sucks. 155 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:14,415 Maybe if you were in a city school here in Austin, it would be one thing, 156 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:17,627 but these suburbs, they're still, like, very old-fashioned. 157 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,130 No, but I have to stay there because somewhere bigoted like that 158 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,714 is where you can make the most difference. 159 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,592 Like, what am I doing if I'm not trying to improve the future 160 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,344 for these kids that come through that system? 161 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,722 If I just succumb to the evil intentions of their conservative parents, 162 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,724 then the kids are gonna grow up to be exactly like them. 163 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,726 - Then it's 1980 again or worse. - Okay. 164 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,436 I mean, I will just say, like, 165 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,605 I wouldn't think of all conservatives as evil. 166 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,524 - I don't. - I'm conservative at this point. 167 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,442 - No, you're not. - No, not about everything. 168 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,362 - I still want social progress. - You say it 'cause it's kitschy, 169 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,239 but you're not actually a Republican. 170 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,575 No, I really-- It's like, I am against a lot of what the left-- 171 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,994 I don't know what I am anymore. I listen to Red Scare. 172 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,913 If my very desire to fuck is-- I love this song. 173 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,749 If my very desire to fuck is, like, up for debate 174 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,085 or potentially evil to them-- 175 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,588 I don't know. We have to do something. 176 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,381 Oh, "we"? You and I? 177 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,341 - You and I, us together... - No. 178 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,802 ...go talk to the school board. We're the ones who kissed. 179 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,181 "We" are not even together anymore 'cause you can't commit. 180 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,224 You always act like I broke up with you. 181 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,435 But I didn't break up with you. We broke up with each other. 182 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,770 I'm not going back anywhere near that school. 183 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,856 And I'm certainly not getting involved. 184 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,444 On that note, if you are open to it, 185 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:28,031 I would be down to hang out today at your place. 186 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,034 - Okay. Wow. - I'm supposed to take 187 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,286 the rest of the day off to think about my actions. 188 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,205 See, this is your whole thing. 189 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,081 This is my thing. - You create your own problems. 190 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,583 Like this, for example. 191 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,210 What happens if you get me pregnant? 192 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,878 Like, are we gonna keep the baby? 193 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,630 I can't raise a baby. I work in tech. 194 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,048 If I get you pregnant, 195 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,592 it would be a miracle. 196 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,679 ♪ Forgiving who you are ♪ 197 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,932 ♪ For what you stand to gain ♪ 198 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,063 This behavior would not only be tolerated, 199 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:07,320 but encouraged if a straight couple did the same. 200 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,240 Homophobia-- 201 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,034 Hello. 202 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,578 What are you doing, you little gay guy? 203 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,580 I love when you call me that. Um... 204 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,791 I'm writing this official statement 205 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,126 that I have to submit for this investigation. 206 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,379 What do you have so far? 207 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,880 "To Whom it may concern: 208 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,757 I pecked my boyfriend on the cheek, 209 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,134 perhaps making momentary passing contact with his lips, 210 00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,678 in front of a class of his students. 211 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,681 We were in a serious relationship at the time, and it is clear to me 212 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,558 that this behavior would not only be tolerated but encouraged 213 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,060 if a straight couple did the same." 214 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,937 That's all I have. It feels kinda defensive. 215 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,563 No, no. I think that's good. 216 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,482 - You're in the right on that. - Yeah. 217 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,942 Yeah. 218 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,360 Did you talk to Malcolm about it? 219 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,404 We hooked up today, actually. 220 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,406 Oh, my God. 221 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,866 Crazy. I didn't know you guys did that still. 222 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,369 Yeah, barely. Sometimes. 223 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,580 Did you guys do it at the school in front of all the students? 224 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,875 - Ha, ha, ha. - I got you. I got you. 225 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,669 Do you want regular or vegan pizza? 226 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,087 The vegan one. 227 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,338 Sorry, Nick's making dinner, 228 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,508 and he's just basically been trying to busy himself 229 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,552 - since he lost the job. - Mmm. 230 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,387 He's been making, like, those Hello Fresh meals 231 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,930 that are too salty. 232 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,140 Tell him I love him. 233 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,891 Evan says he loves you. 234 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,811 Aw. He loves you too. 235 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,064 Okay, I gotta-- I gotta go. I love you so much. 236 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,233 Okay, love you. Bye. 237 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,614 ♪ I get lost in the night and I'm with you ♪ 238 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,658 ♪ A thousand times ♪ 239 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,997 ♪ Ooh, you love me right in Nirvana, so fast ♪ 240 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,916 ♪ You're the best part of a sad song ♪ 241 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:48,296 ♪ You got me all out of breath Too fast ♪ 242 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,007 ♪ And I miss you when I'm going home ♪ 243 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:55,470 ♪ And I've been running in circles again ♪ 244 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,139 ♪ But I swear that I can feel the end ♪ 245 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,850 ♪ If I'm not in Nirvana ♪ 246 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,270 ♪ You're not out of my head ♪ 247 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:15,573 ♪ I've been out there running like a lonely soul on fire ♪ 248 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,993 ♪ Everybody's talking ♪ 249 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:22,121 ♪ And I can't get through the night ♪ 250 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:29,879 ♪ Somewhere in the middle Did it ever cross your mind? ♪ 251 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,467 ♪ I get lost in the night and I'm with you ♪ 252 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,845 ♪ A thousand times, ooh-- ♪ 253 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,305 Ow! Jesus! 254 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,224 Think fast, Marquez. Come on, man. 255 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,268 You can't just throw a ball at me and then say "think fast." 256 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,188 I can't anticipate a ball that just appears out of nowhere. 257 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,649 - Working on your defense statement, I see. - I'm not allowed-- 258 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,234 That's a piece of shit. I can tell. 259 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,277 How do you know I have to write a defense statement? 260 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,030 Because I know things, man. I got my ear to the grindstone. 261 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,908 You know it's "nose to the grindstone" or "ear to the ground"? 262 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,828 No, it could be whatever you want. I got my finger on the pulse, okay? 263 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,371 - That's correct. - Okay. 264 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:07,542 Put this in there: "I am being targeted for harassment because I"-- You-- 265 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,836 "I am a proud gay man." 266 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,754 I'm not that proud. 267 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,840 You gotta fight fire with fire these days, Marquez. 268 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,967 Life's not a fucking poem. 269 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,177 - It's a full-contact sport. - Ow. Jesus. 270 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,720 I'm just saying, man, like-- 271 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,141 These kids, they want the power they feel when they get you in trouble. 272 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,892 They're the inmates who wanna run the asylum-- 273 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:25,977 It's not a bad point. 274 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:29,313 But the thing is the kid is not trying to get power in the situation. 275 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,481 It's his mother. 276 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,651 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Linda Harrison. 277 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,987 Oh, God. I'm not supposed to tell you. 278 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,655 - It's her son? - I was supposed to... 279 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,240 - He took your class-- - ...keep it anonymous. 280 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,534 Holy shit, dude. She's saying because her son's gay, right? 281 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,244 - I didn't turn her son gay. - I'm not-- 282 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,579 Well, you're sure about that? 283 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,999 It doesn't work that way, Markie. You can't turn people gay. 284 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,792 I'm not saying you did it on purpose, 285 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,171 but, look, he sees you being you and thinks, "That's how I wanna be." 286 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:57,049 That's how I felt the first time I saw Jose Canseco in person. 287 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,760 - Who is Jose-- - There he is. 288 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,679 Eric "Not-So-Speedy" Gonzalez. 289 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,264 17:51. 290 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,348 Wow. 291 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,353 ...which is why I think this whole book 292 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,731 and the idea of people being spied on 24/7 is bullshit. 293 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,983 - Don't curse. - This is book club. It's fine. 294 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,986 - It's not actual class. - Still technically school. 295 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,238 This is coming from our teacher who's being investigated? 296 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,408 How do you know that? 297 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,535 Come on. Everybody knows this. 298 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,704 You kissed your little boyfriend in front of the students. 299 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,416 Well, whatever I did or didn't do, I'm not gonna talk about it with you guys. 300 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,919 Just claim they're attacking you because you're Hispanic 301 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,296 - and they have a racist agenda. - That has nothing to do with it. 302 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,548 Hispanic would never work anyway because they can do, like, 303 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,675 one of those DNA tests and disprove it. 304 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,761 Oh, my God, Becca. He is Hispanic. 305 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,679 - In what way? - His mom's from Colombia. 306 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,015 That's not Hispanic. Hispanic means Mexican. 307 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,808 - I'm calling the cops. - You're bullying me. 308 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,769 You're bullying me 'cause I told you not to talk to me. 309 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,103 Look, Mr. Marquez. 310 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:54,148 You're gay, you're Hispanic. This is a slam dunk here! 311 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,901 Gay doesn't count anymore. And he talks like a straight white guy. 312 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,444 I think your voice is a little gay. 313 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,404 - Actually really gay. - Oh, thanks. 314 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,198 If they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you. 315 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,866 There's nothing you can do about it. 316 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,743 They got me, and I had everything going for me. 317 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,162 Jeff, they got you for selling molly at junior prom. 318 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,039 I was doing it as a bit. 319 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,541 And they've all been trying to get me 320 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,876 since the first time I wore those camo overalls, 321 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,672 - which I was also doing as a bit. - Jeff, what do you mean by "bit"? 322 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,675 Just something I'm doing and I really mean it. 323 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,843 - That's not right. - Why would you stay at a job 324 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,762 - if they're treating you like this? - Exactly. 325 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,556 Because this job is important to me. 326 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,475 I like watching young kids bloom and grow. 327 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,686 Don't say that at your trial, okay? It sounds creepy. 328 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,896 There's not gonna be a trial, okay? 329 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,524 You guys are fucking-- You're freaking me out. 330 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,068 You just said the F-word! No cursing at school. 331 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,820 Okay. That's our time. 332 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,822 Hopefully, we can be more productive next week 333 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,532 when your essays are due. 334 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,616 Thank you. 335 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,910 Mr. Marquez, look. 336 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,745 We're on your side, okay? 337 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,873 Fuck those people who don't like little gay kisses, you know? 338 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,383 Look. 339 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,012 New physics teacher hasn't learned to not eat the nachos yet. 340 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,972 He's gonna find out soon enough. In the bathroom. 341 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,267 I heard-- Oh, God. There's bone in that. 342 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,102 I heard he won, like, best teacher in the state 343 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,854 or something in Louisiana. 344 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,698 Hey, Froot Loop! Froot Loop! 345 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,035 - You can't call me Froot Loop, Markie. - It's just the name of a cereal. 346 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,745 Then why don't you say "Cheerios"? 347 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,246 There ain't nothing gay about Cheerios. 348 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,914 - Listen. Evan, listen. - What, Markie? What? 349 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,499 You're never gonna believe this, okay? 350 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,252 My students, they want me to explain non-binary. 351 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,171 What does that have to do with me? 352 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,922 You're gonna give the speech. It's your lucky day. 353 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,883 - No, I'm not! - You know you want this. 354 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,176 - No! - This is your hero moment. 355 00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,844 - Come on, buddy. - Markie... 356 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,305 Opportunity knocks. Who's home? 357 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,265 - Evan's home. Evan, please. - I'm not doing this. 358 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,309 You're gonna ask me three more times. It's not happening! 359 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,895 All right, everyone, listen up. This is Mr. Marquez. 360 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,230 He is here to teach you all about non-binary. 361 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,566 He is our very special gay guest. 362 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,361 Clap. Clap for him now, everyone. 363 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,279 - Clap. - Gwen, what are you doing here? 364 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,615 - Supervising. I'm covering. - Don't you have a class? 365 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,408 - No, no. - Why don't you teach it to them? 366 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,243 - You're the expert. - I'm the expert? 367 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,745 I'm not-- I'm binary. 368 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,123 - What? - Doesn't mean what you think. 369 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,250 - You are losing 'em, dude. - Okay. Hello, class. 370 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,669 My name is Mr. Marquez. 371 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,755 I am a teacher here at school that many of you know, 372 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,590 and I'm here to talk to you today 373 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,718 about a subject that I think you all, like, know about already 374 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,136 because you're all on Tumblr-- 375 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,055 Tumblr is dead. - You're all on the Internet, 376 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,307 you're on TikTok and Instagram, and you know this stuff, 377 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,393 so I don't know why you're asking me to explain it. 378 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,561 But a non-binary person, right, is just somebody 379 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,814 who does not identify as male or female. 380 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:40,940 Like a hermaphrodite. 381 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,650 - No, not at all. - Yes. 382 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,318 And that word is not in use anymore, is it? 383 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,778 - I-- - Is it? 384 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,572 - I don't know. I-- - It's very simple, okay? 385 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,491 Your teachers this year, we all had to state our pronouns 386 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,660 - before class, right? - We know all this. 387 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,495 Then why did you ask me to explain it to you? 388 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,122 You have been set up, hundred percent. 389 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,958 Yeah, like, we've been recording you this entire time. 390 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,751 See, you were supposed to fail at explaining it 391 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,336 'cause you're, like, horrible with words. 392 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,879 So that was finna go everywhere online. 393 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,756 Oh, my God. 394 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,092 They just wanted to fucking film you talking about it. 395 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,802 That is so-- That is very nefarious. 396 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,262 This isn't right. 397 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,140 Please don't film your teachers doing things like this, him or me. 398 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,518 I know he's worse than me, but I don't need this on the Internet. 399 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,979 Please don't put that on-- I feel attacked right now. 400 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,189 - You feel like what? - I feel attacked right now. 401 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,024 I feel attacked! 402 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:27,903 Here's my statement. 403 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,197 I also wanna say in conjunction with this 404 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,241 that this whole thing is very messed up, okay? 405 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,784 This has messed up the beginning of my year. 406 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,828 - It's-- - What's this in regards to? 407 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,664 What's-- The investigation into this completely innocuous thing. 408 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,291 Oh, my God. Evan-- 409 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,668 Expressing love to my life partner at the time. 410 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,880 Evan, the investigation is over. Sorry. I forgot to tell you. 411 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,214 I forgot to tell you. 412 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,260 What the fuck are you talking about? 413 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,512 The mom dropped the whole case. The whole thing. 414 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,264 Done. Gone. Boom. 415 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,974 - What? - Well, she-- 416 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,185 Well, apparently Markie talked to her. 417 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,604 - Markie talked to her? - Yeah, they're close. 418 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,732 I don't know how, but yeah, he talked some sense into her. 419 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,860 It's... done. 420 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,944 Yeah. 421 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,032 Oh, my God. 422 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,992 Um, no, but there is one thing. 423 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,578 The district did say-- did say one thing. 424 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,788 Let me find it. 425 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:24,126 That you are strictly forbidden from dating-- 426 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,921 That you are strictly-- That you are strictly forbidden 427 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,632 from dating faculty from now on. 428 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,051 Hmm? You'll be fired, otherwise. 429 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,844 You're okay with that, right? 430 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:34,929 Yeah. 431 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,851 You should read my statement. I spent all week on it. It's really good. 432 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,853 Oh. Uh, sure. Yeah. 433 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,856 Oh, "To whom it may concern..." 434 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:50,027 "Gestapo" usually comes with a capital. 435 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,279 But it's really good. Really good. 436 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,912 Markie. Markie. 437 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,414 You talked to the mom. This is incredible. 438 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,166 Oh, dude, yeah. Don't even sweat that. 439 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,085 I've known Loudmouth Harrison for years. 440 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,046 We used to call her Bass Mouth. You wanna get a hook in there, don't you? 441 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,132 This is phenomenal. Oh, my God. The relief I am feeling. 442 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,051 Not a problem. You help me, I help you. 443 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,636 What happened? What did you say to her? 444 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,222 I walked into the country club where she frequents, 445 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,057 caught her three martinis in and said, 446 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,394 "Hey, back off, or I'ma tell everyone here that your son is gay." 447 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,064 - You what? - I mean, he is gay. 448 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,233 It's not lying. You know, it's just hitting her with the truth. 449 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,901 Some people can't handle that shit. 450 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,113 No, you can't use homophobia to fight homophobia. 451 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,615 - We work with the tools we have. - No. 452 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,451 What's the big deal? I did you a-- Come on. Are you mad? 453 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,537 The big deal is I wanted to win this for real, Markie, 454 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,414 - not with threats from you. - It's not a threat. 455 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,834 They're all gonna find out eventually. I just offered to expedite the process. 456 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,128 I-- This is about principles, Markie. 457 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:53,716 This is about my right to exist as a man in the modern world 458 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,051 without being harassed by women like this. 459 00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,971 This is about ethics and-- and ideals. 460 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,973 Wake up, Evan! 461 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,977 No one gives a shit about your highfalutin ideals, bro. Okay? 462 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,271 Seriously. Life is a football game, 463 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,899 and you keep showing up in a goddamn tutu, all right? 464 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,984 We were down, fourth and one. 465 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,236 I called the play, quarterback sneak. 466 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,113 Now we got a new set of downs, 467 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,033 and you can go stand behind a bent-over dude again, all right? 468 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,454 I saved your job, man, because you're a friend. 469 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,080 That's what friends do. 470 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,293 We help each other out, and if that's not part of your fucking code, 471 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,379 then I don't know what else to say to you, dude. 472 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,641 I don't understand the football stuff you were saying... 473 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,726 but... 474 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,437 thanks. 475 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,772 - Thank you. - Wait, hold up. 476 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,440 All right. 477 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,276 Hey, anytime. 478 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,070 See? Anytime. 479 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,655 I got you, 480 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,323 Froot Loop. 481 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,622 ♪ But you're a liar if you say that you're fine ♪ 482 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,290 ♪ Bet you wonder if I think of you now ♪ 483 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,042 Evan! What up? 484 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,752 Have you met Harry, the new guy? 485 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,379 He's looking for some dry erasers. 486 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,631 Kids keep drawing bubble butts on his board. 487 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,966 This guy hoards everything. 488 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,094 I do have an extra eraser. 489 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,929 Hey, I actually forgot to introduce myself. 490 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,847 - I'm Evan Marquez. - Hi, Harry Daughtler. 491 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,015 - I-- - Nice. 492 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,767 Gwen said you're from Louisiana. 493 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,352 Yeah. 494 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,020 My home got destroyed in the storm so-- 495 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,563 Oh, wow. 496 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,400 Tryna build a new home here, you know? 497 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,318 That's great. I'm so sorry-- 498 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,445 It's not great. I'm sorry about the storm. 499 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,322 It sucked. 500 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,158 I like your shirt. 501 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:45,869 This white shirt? 502 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,080 Yeah. 503 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,712 ♪ You and I ♪ 504 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,881 ♪ You don't wanna talk about it ♪ 505 00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,383 ♪ You don't wanna talk about ♪ 506 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,720 ♪ You and I ♪ 507 00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,472 ♪ We don't ever talk about it ♪ 508 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,182 ♪ But in my head ♪ 509 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,352 ♪ Oh, you say Say you still want it ♪ 510 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,189 ♪ That you're done with being lonely now ♪ 511 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,402 ♪ It's you and I ♪ 512 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,406 ♪ You and I ♪