1 00:00:00,666 --> 00:00:02,084 [instructor] Up, one! 2 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,921 - Up, two! - [groans] 3 00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:07,256 - Up, three! - [groaning continues] 4 00:00:07,256 --> 00:00:09,467 You want the margarita? Prove it! 5 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,093 Oh, my God. [chuckles] 6 00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:13,262 - Hey, Harry. - [instructor] Up! 7 00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:14,388 Um, do you come-- 8 00:00:14,388 --> 00:00:15,807 - [instructor] Up! - I can't-- 9 00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:17,934 - [instructor] Up! - I can't hear you. 10 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,519 Do you-- Okay, we can talk after. 11 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,395 ["I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman plays] 12 00:00:21,395 --> 00:00:23,356 - I didn't know you came to this. - Yeah. 13 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,566 It's kind of intense, but I'm into it. 14 00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:26,651 [pants] Yeah. 15 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,986 All right. I think I'm gonna go shower off. 16 00:00:28,986 --> 00:00:30,822 Oh, yes. They got nice showers here. 17 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:34,617 ♪ I'm not hiding ♪ 18 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,621 ♪ The remedy to cure This old heart of mine ♪ 19 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:45,503 ♪ I can dream about you If I can't hold you tonight... ♪ 20 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:46,838 {\an8}- It's huge. - [Gwen] Just like-- 21 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,006 {\an8}Just so big. And I hate that I saw it. 22 00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:51,759 {\an8}And it makes you, like, sick? 23 00:00:51,759 --> 00:00:53,010 {\an8}No, it's, like, inappropriate. 24 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,055 {\an8}Like, I shouldn't know what another teacher's dick in this school looks like. 25 00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,933 Ah. But it's, like, a locker room. Doesn't that happen all the time? 26 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,352 No, no, no. You don't get it, Gwen. He wanted me to see it. 27 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,938 - And he got what he wanted. - Oh, you thought he did it on purpose? 28 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,022 Yes. I'm telling you. 29 00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:09,443 I'm coming out of the shower. He sees me. He goes like this. Really. 30 00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:11,279 Maybe he's, like, not even gay, 31 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,489 and he was just like... [grunts] ..."God, what's up?" 32 00:01:13,489 --> 00:01:14,657 No, no, he's gay. 33 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,909 He has a rainbow flag in his Instagram bio. 34 00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:18,411 Well, maybe he's an ally. 35 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,913 Maybe he's an ally by means of being gay and hooking up with guys. 36 00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,790 I've literally talked to him about dating men. 37 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,042 Okay. So, what's the problem? Sorry, I'm not tracking. 38 00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:26,294 He's attractive. 39 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:28,880 Then he puts his horse cock in my face this morning, and I'm not allowed to... 40 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,882 - Suck it? - No, date other faculty. 41 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,592 Because of the investigation thing. 42 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,051 Oh. 43 00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:36,888 Maybe he's not trying to date you. Like, that feels kind of like a leap. 44 00:01:39,181 --> 00:01:40,224 No, he's trying to date me. 45 00:01:40,224 --> 00:01:42,894 As you know, we're in the process of replacing our school mascot 46 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:47,315 "The Dragons" with the newly voted upon "The Horses." "The Horses." 47 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,901 A student competition is underway to help choose the new logo. 48 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:50,985 The new look of the logo-- 49 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,987 Did you get a chance to take a look at any of those? 50 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,989 The kids are mostly drawing penises. 51 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:58,034 Uh, well, no, I haven't had a chance, but that is disappointing. 52 00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,243 So what I was thinking is, 53 00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,871 I actually know this great company that can help out with this. 54 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,583 They redid the mascots for, like, five or six local schools last year. 55 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:06,834 Really did a bang-up job. 56 00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:08,669 They let the kids come up with the art, 57 00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:10,755 but then this company comes in and executes. 58 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,548 Makes it looks completely professional. 59 00:02:12,548 --> 00:02:16,010 Okay, the student logo design competition is already underway, Rick-- 60 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:19,055 Listen, man! This is personal. All right? 61 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:22,099 "The Dragons" was offensive to my people. 62 00:02:22,099 --> 00:02:23,434 [stammers] Your people? 63 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,519 What people? College counselors? 64 00:02:25,519 --> 00:02:26,854 My people. 65 00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:29,815 The people that I come from. 66 00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:31,692 Heaven? 67 00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:33,694 Whatever he is, his lineage should be celebrated. 68 00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:37,782 Whether he be a white man, a Black man, a proud Indian brave-- 69 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,241 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Jesus, Markie. 70 00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:40,326 Thank you. 71 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,661 Rick, if you know of a company 72 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,955 that can handle this in a professional and effective manner, 73 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,415 then yes, you can be our liaison on that, all right? 74 00:02:46,415 --> 00:02:49,126 Yes! Hell, yeah. Let's get it. All right, guys. 75 00:02:49,126 --> 00:02:50,419 This is perfect timing actually 76 00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,672 because kids aren't even thinking about college yet. 77 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,131 It's your company, right? 78 00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:56,217 - Who's to say? - No, it's his company. 79 00:02:56,217 --> 00:03:00,304 Last but not least, we need to assign some duties and committees. 80 00:03:00,304 --> 00:03:03,224 Gwendolyn, I need you on bus duty this week. 81 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:07,436 And from what I can tell, the only person not on a committee is you, Evan and Harry, 82 00:03:07,436 --> 00:03:12,316 so, uh, I'm gonna have you two together to head up the homecoming dance, all right? 83 00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:14,360 - Okay. - No. No, no, no. 84 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,029 - I'm-- I'm-- No, I really am-- - All right, we are dismissed, okay? 85 00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:19,281 - Go inspire those young, warped minds. - [murmuring] 86 00:03:19,281 --> 00:03:21,492 [teacher] I wanna sing the national anthem this morning. 87 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,661 Why would they do this to me? 88 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,121 Grant, can I talk to you for a second? 89 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,331 - These are crazy. - What do you want? 90 00:03:27,331 --> 00:03:30,918 I'm thinking it might be good if you unpair Harry and I 91 00:03:30,918 --> 00:03:32,420 for this homecoming dance thing. 92 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,506 - Why? - I can't tell you why, but just trust me. 93 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,925 I mean, I can unpair you, but I'll need a clear reason. 94 00:03:37,925 --> 00:03:39,468 Otherwise, it'll look like homophobia. 95 00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:41,387 How's it gonna look like homophobia? 96 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,849 If I separate two gay men, isn't that homophobia? 97 00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:47,560 I can see the logic. 98 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,645 Some of these kids could get into Parsons. 99 00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:51,814 It's really beautiful work. 100 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:54,025 Can you just-- I-- I think-- Just unpair us. 101 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,943 - It's-- It'll be good. - No, Evan. 102 00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:58,946 Just do your job. Stop creating drama where there is none. 103 00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:01,490 Just plan the-- plan the homecoming dance. 104 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,575 Go. 105 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:04,660 [sighs] 106 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,328 This horse will do. 107 00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:07,496 Rick, I found a winner. 108 00:04:07,496 --> 00:04:08,581 Okay. 109 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:12,585 So, how much do we think the author is writing based on his own experiences? 110 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,295 Do it. Just say something. 111 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,713 Chelsea, what's going on? 112 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:18,674 Um, Mr. Marquez, I'm sorry to interrupt class, 113 00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:21,927 but it's actually super triggering for me 114 00:04:21,927 --> 00:04:24,597 to be reading a book about a disease right now 115 00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,516 with everything I'm going through. 116 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:29,727 Because of everything you're going through? 117 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,604 What are you going through, Kayla? 118 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,815 The rest of the class sort of already knows about this. 119 00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:36,108 - But recently... - [students] Mmm. 120 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:40,404 ...I was successfully diagnosed... [sniffles] ...with something called... 121 00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:41,739 You're doing great, Kayla. 122 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,824 - [Jason] It's okay. - Be present with your illness, okay? 123 00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:48,412 - Asymptomatic Tourette's. - [Evan groans] 124 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,333 - What? - So what Tourette's syndrome is, right-- 125 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,210 No, I know what Tourette's syndrome is. 126 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,378 Oh, great. Okay. So it sounds like you're halfway there, 127 00:04:56,378 --> 00:05:00,883 and you're taking an opportunity to be educated, which is honorable. 128 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,385 - Thank you. - So, asymptomatic Tourette's, right? 129 00:05:03,385 --> 00:05:07,640 It's like Tourette's syndrome with the tics and, like, the hardship, right? 130 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,893 But without any symptoms. 131 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,771 So in its way, AT is harder. 132 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,147 - Because-- - What is AT? 133 00:05:15,147 --> 00:05:17,316 Oh, asymptomatic Tourette's. Okay. 134 00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,068 - Uh-huh. - It is harder. 135 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,695 Because people have, like, actually no idea 136 00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:26,408 the battle that people like Kayla are fighting inside every day. 137 00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:27,618 It's a silent killer. 138 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,830 And someone actually diagnosed you with this? 139 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,915 It's disrespectful to ask that. [whispers] I'm so sorry-- 140 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:33,999 [Kayla] It's okay. 141 00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:36,794 You can't blame people for making really huge mistakes 142 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,296 when they haven't learned the etiquette. 143 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,758 It's only self-diagnosable. 144 00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,177 I see. 145 00:05:45,177 --> 00:05:47,805 - [bell rings] - She's making up this whole fake disease. 146 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:50,474 She's describing the symptoms. There aren't any symptoms. 147 00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:52,726 She's calling it asymptomatic Tourette's. 148 00:05:52,726 --> 00:05:54,436 I feel like I've never related to you more 149 00:05:54,436 --> 00:05:57,982 about these kids just making up crazy shit for their own benefit. 150 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,316 It's insane. 151 00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:02,319 Have you done a full and comprehensive diagnostic 152 00:06:02,319 --> 00:06:04,989 to see if there's any potential underlying symptoms? 153 00:06:05,739 --> 00:06:07,199 I'm not a doctor, 154 00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:10,619 but I don't have to be a doctor to know that this girl is making something up. 155 00:06:10,619 --> 00:06:12,413 Tell you what, I'll come by your classroom tomorrow. 156 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,999 Get a firsthand assessment of her condition. 157 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,125 You're not a doctor. 158 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,836 Two and a half more credits in kinesiology, and I would've been a doctor. 159 00:06:20,921 --> 00:06:23,632 [Evan] Okay. So then the blue streamers the school has. 160 00:06:23,632 --> 00:06:25,426 I have to buy gold streamers. 161 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:28,345 And then there's a ladder I think in the utility closet. 162 00:06:28,345 --> 00:06:30,139 Yeah, it's basically that. Right? 163 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:34,727 [chuckles] Wow, I did not realize that we had, like, an agenda. 164 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:39,315 Oh, yeah. The-- The-- I just, um, have to get home to grade all these papers. 165 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,859 Yeah, okay. Blue and gold streamers it is. 166 00:06:42,776 --> 00:06:45,404 Ugh. Oh, my God. I'm sorry that took so long. 167 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:49,116 One of the managers was, like, low-key sexually harassing me in the back. 168 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:52,286 [chuckles] I'm sorry to ask this, are you guys gay? 169 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,537 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Mmm. Yeah. 170 00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:54,955 [waiter] My people. Thank God. 171 00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:57,708 When you walked in, I clocked you, and I was like, "Hey, sister." 172 00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:01,003 And it's, like, the community in Austin is amazing, 173 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,422 but, like, I keep trying to reach out to people, 174 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:06,342 and they're like, "You're toxic," or "I'm busy," and I'm like, 175 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,636 "Babe, I have zero friends." 176 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,095 I moved here from Michigan. 177 00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:13,849 So, my dears, what can I get you two lovebirds for din-din? 178 00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:16,685 Oh. Sorry. We're not lovebirds. We just work together. [chuckles] 179 00:07:16,685 --> 00:07:17,811 Oh, my God. 180 00:07:17,811 --> 00:07:20,731 I think maybe we need a little bit more time. 181 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,982 [waiter] No sweat. 182 00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:25,527 Uh, if you need anything, holler "Clarkson." My name's Daniel. 183 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,989 So I'm-- I'm realizing actually I can do a lot of this alone. 184 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:32,159 So I might just head home, and, uh, I'll get my food to go. 185 00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:34,495 Hey, but, okay, we're here though. 186 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:37,248 And I just got my wine, so... 187 00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:41,460 Look, I get it. This committee shit. It's annoying. 188 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:44,838 But, like, let's just, you know, have some fun with it. 189 00:07:44,838 --> 00:07:46,548 [whispers] Okay. That's fine. 190 00:07:46,548 --> 00:07:50,177 Oh, I have a few ideas for the playlist, if you want to talk about that? 191 00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:51,971 Don't the kids do the music? 192 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,181 Yeah, see, I don't think that's a good idea, right? 193 00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:57,935 Because at my last school, we let a kid deejay the prom, 194 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:02,022 and then he tried to play an entire episode of Dax Shepard's podcast. 195 00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:03,440 - Which episode? - Oh. 196 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,943 I've actually been super into this song lately. 197 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,487 I-- I'll just play it for you. 198 00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:14,827 ["Eternal Flame" playing] 199 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,036 [sighs] Oh, my God. 200 00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:20,332 ♪ Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling ♪ 201 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:27,339 ♪ Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? ♪ 202 00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:31,093 ♪ Do you feel the same... ♪ 203 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,219 Are you fucking kidding? 204 00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:35,306 You come to my favorite restaurant? I'm six months pregnant, you bitch. 205 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,598 - Malcolm. - [chuckles] I'm kidding. 206 00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,767 - What the fuck are you doing here? - Hey, babe. Come here. 207 00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:39,935 - Hi. - Hi. 208 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,729 - Ah, that's-- - Miss you. 209 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,522 Sorry. Malcolm, this is Harry. 210 00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,816 He works at Morrison now. Harry, this is Malcolm. 211 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,609 - He used to work at Morrison, but-- - Yes. Yes. 212 00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:49,236 I used to work at Morrison. 213 00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:50,821 Until I got fired for fucking him. 214 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,156 That is not what happened. 215 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,867 Yeah, we had sex. Penetrative. Top. Bottom. 216 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,994 - That is really not what happened. - And I got fired. 217 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,829 He was-- He's my ex-boyfriend, and now I'm single. 218 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,999 Which I like. I like being single, and I don't want to have a-- 219 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,418 I'm not-- I'm not open to relationships. 220 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,087 - [laughs] Okay. High-strung tonight. - [Harry] Mm-hmm. 221 00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:09,048 - Is he being weird on your date? - [Evan] It's not a date. 222 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,092 Um, hey, did-- did the waiter ask you if you were gay? 223 00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:14,053 No. I guess I give off, like, a masc vibe. 224 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,430 Sometimes I wish I was more femme like you guys. 225 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,767 I've tried to be femme for clout. It just doesn't come naturally to me. 226 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,060 I-I-- You're leaving. 227 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,311 Do I have to? 228 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,146 - I could stay and hang out. - No, you're leaving. 229 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,898 I'm gonna leave with you. I have to go. 230 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,649 I just-- He can give me a ride. 231 00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:29,985 - I can give him a ride. - A ride to your car? 232 00:09:29,985 --> 00:09:32,279 A ride to my car, exactly. Yeah, so... 233 00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:35,616 - Hey, nice to meet you. - Great work. And I-I will see you at work. 234 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,785 - You too. Asante. [chuckles] - Um... 235 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:38,869 Thanks so much. Okay. 236 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,163 - Whoo! We did it. - [Malcolm] He's hot. 237 00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:43,665 [sighs] 238 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,294 I literally have COVID. 239 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,671 He's hot, huh? 240 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,382 - Harry. - [chuckles] 241 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,716 My God. 242 00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:54,843 I can't believe Grant found the second-hottest gay guy 243 00:09:54,843 --> 00:09:56,387 in Austin to replace me. 244 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,766 It's just this whole thing because he's into me, 245 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,685 and he's like-- I can tell he's trying to make a move. 246 00:10:03,685 --> 00:10:04,978 [laughs] 247 00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:06,063 Really? 248 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,314 - Yeah. - He's into you? 249 00:10:07,314 --> 00:10:08,565 I didn't get that vibe at all. 250 00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:09,900 - Malcolm. - I truly didn't. 251 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,405 He literally played a gorgeous song like this on his phone. 252 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,156 So we had to smoosh our faces together. 253 00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:19,034 But that doesn't mean anything. I mean, I-- People do that all the time. 254 00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:22,204 People play music for each other. It's, like, not really a big deal. 255 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,415 I actually think I was getting a vibe from him. 256 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:29,044 He looked at me, and it kind of gave like, "Let's kiss and also fuck. Right now." 257 00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:30,462 Oh, my God. 258 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:32,506 Oh! You're jealous. 259 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,842 I like that. More of that face, please. 260 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:37,511 It's the most boyfriend-y thing you've done to me in months. 261 00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:43,016 Hey, guys, before we get started today here-- Settle down, settle down. 262 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:47,479 Um, before class starts today, I would like to take some ownership 263 00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:52,067 and say a few words about AT, also known as asymptomatic Tourette's. 264 00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:53,235 [students sigh] Come on. 265 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:56,280 - Uh-huh, Chelsea. Yes. - It's not called AT anymore. 266 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,157 That's actually super disrespectful. 267 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,284 Oh. What is it called now? 268 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,287 KS. It stands for Kayla Syndrome. 269 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,457 It's named as an "in memoriam" to Kayla. 270 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,625 - Deirdre, I think you mean a tribute. - No. 271 00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:09,960 - Okay. - Are you getting that? 272 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,713 - Does that make sense to you, sir? - Oh, so it's named after Kayla. 273 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,131 Okay. That's cool. 274 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:16,133 It's actually not cool. Are you seeing this girl? 275 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,342 - She's sick as a dog. - [Evan] Yeah. 276 00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:19,344 Well, I apologize, Kayla. 277 00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:20,929 I'm sorry that you have Kayla Syndrome. 278 00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:23,765 So it's actually better if you just call it KS. 279 00:11:23,765 --> 00:11:25,434 - Okay. - Because it's super triggering 280 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,186 - for Kayla to hear her own name... - Absolutely. 281 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,562 - ...brought up in that context. - Gotcha. 282 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,064 - Makes sense. - You know, part of me wonders... 283 00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:35,903 You-- You have something to say? 284 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,237 Say it. Just say it. 285 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:40,073 Coach Hillridge, do you have any thoughts? 286 00:11:40,073 --> 00:11:41,158 I'm just here to listen. 287 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,327 - That's why you the man. - Thank you, Coach Hillridge. 288 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,411 That means a lot. 289 00:11:44,411 --> 00:11:45,954 You're welcome, Kayla. 290 00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:47,080 [Chelsea] Yes. Thank you, sir. 291 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,916 [Markie] Chelsea, you're welcome. 292 00:11:49,416 --> 00:11:50,876 Did anybody do the homework? 293 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,044 - No. - No. 294 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,921 - We've all been dealing with this. - [Evan] Right. 295 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:57,382 You're all getting your medical degrees. 296 00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,468 [bell rings] 297 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,969 - Have a good one, Jake. - All right. 298 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,889 So after witnessing that, do you still think AT is-- 299 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,225 - [Markie] KS. - KS. You still think it's a real disease? 300 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,185 Look, it's actually quite simple. 301 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,355 Kayla and Chelsea, best friends since freshman year, right? 302 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,690 - Side by side, socially speaking. - Uh-huh. 303 00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:16,693 Last month, Chelsea's out for a couple of weeks. Remember that? 304 00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:18,987 The whole time she's gone, all Kayla could hear is, 305 00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:21,657 "Where's Chelsea? Is Chelsea gonna be out for much longer?" 306 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,326 So then Kayla's getting jealous, and she comes up with-- 307 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,453 [Markie] Asymptomatic Tourette's. 308 00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,039 And it worked for a time. 309 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:33,627 But then Chelsea starts rallying everyone to be super supportive of Kayla. 310 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,878 And what does that do? 311 00:12:34,878 --> 00:12:39,383 Makes everybody talk about how great and caring Chelsea is. 312 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:44,054 Chelsea did the same thing to Renee last year, and Renee is still not back at 100%. 313 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,138 You know what I'm saying? 314 00:12:45,138 --> 00:12:46,682 [stammers] Who's Renee? 315 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,810 Come on, man. She goes by Deirdre in the classroom, Renee in the friend group. 316 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,478 Keep up, Marquez. 317 00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:53,021 It's just so much information. 318 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,607 But that's beside the point. It brings us to today. 319 00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:58,026 The events of what happened here in your classroom. 320 00:12:58,026 --> 00:12:59,778 Who speaks up on Kayla's behalf? 321 00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:02,823 Who started making sure everyone was sympathetic 322 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,117 to the journey that Kayla was on? 323 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,077 Who renamed the goddamn disease? 324 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,662 Chelsea. 325 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:13,834 Kayla's whole gambit to gain sympathy has turned into nothing more 326 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:19,047 than a vehicle for Chelsea's rapid ascent to the upper echelon of popularity. 327 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,049 [exhales sharply] 328 00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:23,594 That's crazy. You got all this from 20 minutes in my classroom? 329 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:24,845 [snorts] 330 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,179 I only needed ten. 331 00:13:29,224 --> 00:13:32,853 ♪ I've fallen in love And there's no... ♪ 332 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:36,982 You know, I have to say, you are the hottest man I've ever met. 333 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,442 [laughs] Stop. 334 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,736 What'd you think of my dick in the locker room? 335 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,070 I loved it. 336 00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:45,616 I knew you wanted me to see it, but Gwen thought-- 337 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,908 Well, Gwen was wrong. 338 00:13:47,492 --> 00:13:49,286 And Markie is also wrong. 339 00:13:49,953 --> 00:13:50,996 About everything. 340 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,247 I know. 341 00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:54,458 ♪ You got the touch ♪ 342 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,751 - [honking] - [grunts] 343 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:56,877 [tires squeal] 344 00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,630 - [tires squealing] - [cell phone ringing] 345 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:03,300 [sighs] Evan, I'm trying to take a nap. So it better be important. 346 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,428 It is. Listen, to put it simply, Harry's extremely into me. Okay? 347 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,555 And I know I'm not allowed to date other teachers, 348 00:14:08,555 --> 00:14:10,432 and I think he's gonna try to do something about it. 349 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,100 And I'm trying to avoid it, but it could happen. 350 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,977 Somebody who looks like Harry would not be into you. 351 00:14:13,977 --> 00:14:15,437 - This is not a problem. - You don't get it. 352 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,522 We were in the locker room the other day, 353 00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:20,359 and he takes off his towel in front of me on purpose. 354 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,070 He showed me his incredible ass and dick. 355 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,237 - No. Stop it. - I was-- 356 00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:26,490 - I was exhausted just by the fantasies... - Stop it, Evan. 357 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,825 - ...that came just from seeing it initially. - Evan. Evan. Stop. 358 00:14:28,825 --> 00:14:30,994 - We did not have this conversation. - We had this conversation. 359 00:14:30,994 --> 00:14:32,746 - I'll see you at the dance. - I am hot. 360 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,165 I am considered hot in my community, okay? 361 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,793 I don't care if you all think I'm basic-looking. 362 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,252 I'm an attractive gay guy. 363 00:14:39,252 --> 00:14:42,756 ♪ You got the touch of love ♪ 364 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:48,095 ♪ And I just can't get enough ♪ 365 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,180 Oh, Evan. This streamer just ripped. 366 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,515 Will you hold the ladder? 367 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,475 You don't need me to hold the ladder, Harry. 368 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:54,976 I have to make more punch. 369 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:56,812 Okay. 370 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,856 Ashley, your mom did such a good job with those sugar cookies. 371 00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:01,191 I love them. 372 00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:03,902 - God, he looks so good tonight. - Hey. 373 00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:06,780 But I don't care how hard he tries. 374 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,615 Nothing is gonna happen between us. 375 00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:11,284 Is it possible... [sucks teeth] 376 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,912 ...he's maybe not trying to make something happen? 377 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,999 You know, like, you're very handsome and-- [stammers] You're so handsome. 378 00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:20,460 But maybe you're just reading into it. 379 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,673 No, it feels unmistakable. 380 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,218 Sorry. 381 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,471 Um, Evan, could I speak to you outside for a second? 382 00:15:32,305 --> 00:15:33,306 Sure. 383 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,730 - [student 1] Sorry. - [student 2] Evening, sir. 384 00:15:43,066 --> 00:15:44,067 [exhales sharply] 385 00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,612 - [Harry] Um... - [sighs] 386 00:15:49,072 --> 00:15:51,825 Did I do something to offend you? 387 00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:54,703 No. Of course not. 388 00:15:56,329 --> 00:15:57,664 Uh-huh. Because you... [stammers] 389 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:03,336 ...you've been acting very weird with me all week. 390 00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,047 I'm-- I'm-- 391 00:16:06,673 --> 00:16:08,884 Harry, I'm being weird because if something happened between us, 392 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,677 it would be very catastrophic for my life. 393 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:12,053 Okay? I think you know this already. 394 00:16:12,053 --> 00:16:15,474 I'm not allowed to date teachers because of a very specific situation in my life. 395 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:20,145 So if something happens between you and I, you know, i-it's not gonna be good. 396 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,606 You wanna fuck me. I wanna fuck you. I get it. 397 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:26,026 This is clear as day, but it's gonna go beyond that, okay? 398 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,611 We're gonna wanna start dating each other. 399 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,738 We're probably potentially gonna wanna get married. 400 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,823 Then, what happens? One of us is gonna quit? 401 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:34,534 I can't just report this marriage to the board. 402 00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:36,203 One of us is gonna have to quit the job. 403 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,789 And so that's-- that's where I draw the line. 404 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,332 And I don't care how bad you want it. 405 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,250 I don't care how bad I want it. 406 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:46,296 It's not happening, okay? I'm not throwing away my life for-- for you. 407 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:49,591 For-- For whatever this thing is that you're imagining that we have together. 408 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,635 Evan, take a breath. 409 00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:56,765 - [breathes sharply] - Um, first of all, I-I have a boyfriend. 410 00:16:58,266 --> 00:17:01,186 - I'm-- It's-- It's not even-- - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 411 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,313 No, no, no. It's okay. I do this. 412 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,023 - This is something I do, actually. - No, it's-- 413 00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,817 I think people are into me when they're not into me. 414 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:10,278 And I think I'm, like-- I have this, like, inflated sense of my own attractiveness. 415 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,155 And I think I'm, like, this hunky guy. 416 00:17:12,155 --> 00:17:14,866 And then I get really attracted to really good-looking guys. 417 00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:17,244 And then I find out they were never thinking of me like that. 418 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,162 - I have a funny-looking face. - Evan. Evan. 419 00:17:19,162 --> 00:17:20,872 If you would let me talk for a second-- 420 00:17:20,872 --> 00:17:22,374 Is this Kayla Syndrome? 421 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,125 No, it's-- I'm sorry. That's so stupid. 422 00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:27,754 I-- There-- Yes, we can just be coworkers. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry. 423 00:17:27,754 --> 00:17:30,215 - Evan. - I'm serious. You don't need to save me. 424 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,800 I'm fine. Thank you. 425 00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:38,890 [feedback] 426 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:42,519 Hello. Hello. Hey, hello, everyone. Gather around, gather around. 427 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,480 Oh, God. I just had the weirdest interaction with Harry. [sighs] 428 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,482 He's not into me. You were so right. 429 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,985 - I was just making the whole thing up. - That's great. 430 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,070 Before we announce our homecoming court winners, 431 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:55,490 we will have a brief presentation of our new school mascot 432 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:58,159 designed by the R.C.K. Group. 433 00:17:58,159 --> 00:18:00,662 - All right. - [chuckles] 434 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,789 - Where da weed at? - [chuckles] 435 00:18:02,789 --> 00:18:04,791 Nah, I'm just messing around. You guys are good kids. 436 00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:09,629 I'm now excited and thrilled to present your new school mascot, 437 00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:14,718 - Michael the Horse! - Oh, Michael. Not even alliteration. 438 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,845 - Come on! - [attendees murmuring] 439 00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,889 - Let's go! - [attendees groaning] 440 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,224 - [attendees] Boo! - [attendee 1] Get the hell off the stage! 441 00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:22,767 Thank you. Thank you, R.C.K. Group. 442 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:26,062 I guess we'll just remain "The Dragons" for the time being. 443 00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:30,650 So now for your homecoming court queen, Kayla Stephenson. 444 00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,277 - [attendees cheering] - Kayla Stephenson. 445 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,361 [attendee 2] Yeah, Kayla! 446 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,407 [cheering continues] 447 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,159 - Are you crying? - She did it. 448 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,830 Thank you. This means the world to me. 449 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:49,461 But there's someone here tonight who could use this tiara a whole lot more than me. 450 00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:50,962 Chelsea. 451 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,049 I don't care what Thomas said about you last night. 452 00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:55,675 You're the coolest. 453 00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:57,135 This is for you. 454 00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:58,762 [attendees] Aw! 455 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,388 What the hell was that? 456 00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:03,058 I had a little chat with Kayla. Gave her some sage wisdom. 457 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:04,768 - What'd you tell her? - The truth. 458 00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,354 The best way to gain power is to artificially give it away. 459 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,897 - Thank you. - All right. 460 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,065 Congratulations. Both of you. 461 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,651 - So you solved it? - Yep. 462 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,487 At least until Lauren gets her Invisalign out. I mean... 463 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,863 Who is Lauren? 464 00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:18,323 Come on, dude. 465 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,658 - You don't know who Lauren is? - Wow. 466 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,911 You guys are obsessed with the students in a way that is weird to me. 467 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:30,043 ♪ Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling... ♪ 468 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,380 What's up? 469 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:34,965 Um. 470 00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:40,261 You kind of just left before we had a chance to finish our conversation. 471 00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:42,722 I did? 472 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,641 Yeah. 473 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,561 [chuckles] Yeah. I guess I felt like I was, like... 474 00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:49,646 [clears throat] 475 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,359 The longer I stayed out there, the more I was gonna say insane shit. 476 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,777 [both chuckle] 477 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,196 It's probably the right instinct. 478 00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:00,740 Yeah. 479 00:20:01,324 --> 00:20:03,159 I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. 480 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,329 Honestly, I kinda liked seeing you like that. 481 00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:08,456 It was cute. 482 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:11,543 Really? 483 00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,461 Really. 484 00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:20,593 [chuckles] 485 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,304 But you have a boyfriend. 486 00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:25,515 It's not the '50s, man. 487 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,183 We're open. 488 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:31,771 - Oh, you're open. Of course. - Yeah. [chuckles] 489 00:20:32,355 --> 00:20:34,399 - Yeah. - That makes sense. 490 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,485 ♪ Or is this burning ♪ 491 00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:41,865 ♪ An eternal flame? ♪ 492 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,408 ♪ Close your eyes ♪ 493 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,035 - Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. - [clamoring] 494 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,619 - What the hell, man? - This was a mistake. 495 00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:48,079 - What wrong with you? - This was a mistake. 496 00:20:48,079 --> 00:20:52,584 I got caught up in the moment, and that doesn't matter though, 497 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:56,254 - because that moment did not even happen. - [clamoring continues] 498 00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:59,507 Okay. Okay. 499 00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:01,926 So you're like crazy, crazy. 500 00:21:02,677 --> 00:21:03,762 Got it. 501 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,013 I'm gonna leave. 502 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,975 Good. That's what I want you to do. 503 00:21:08,975 --> 00:21:15,982 ♪ I can dream about you If I can't hold you tonight ♪ 504 00:21:17,525 --> 00:21:24,532 ♪ I can dream about you You know how to hold me just right ♪ 505 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:32,791 ♪ I can dream about you You know how to hold me just right ♪ 506 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,337 ♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪ 507 00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:42,092 ♪ If I can't hold you tonight ♪ 508 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,720 ♪ I can dream about you ♪ 509 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,642 ♪ Oh, I can dream, I can dream ♪ 510 00:21:51,392 --> 00:21:54,771 - ♪ I can dream about you ♪ - ♪ Dream about you ♪ 511 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:58,191 {\an8}♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪