1 00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:15,674 Oh, shit. 2 00:00:15,757 --> 00:00:16,925 Gwen? 3 00:00:17,008 --> 00:00:18,051 You don't know it's Gwen. 4 00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:21,721 You put your do not disturb on bypass. It's obviously Gwen. Pick it up. 5 00:00:21,805 --> 00:00:25,475 No, no, no. I'm-I'm-I'm serious. I'm gonna unplug this weekend. 6 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,269 - Focused on you. - Shut up. 7 00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:29,980 Connect with your beautiful boyfriend. Look at me in this shirt. 8 00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,064 Your tits look amazing. 9 00:00:31,148 --> 00:00:34,442 Thank you. I planned this trip so that we could focus on me and you. 10 00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:37,863 And, you know, enjoy the gorgeous Blanco Lakeside Village. 11 00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:40,574 Oh, the Blanco Lakeside Village. I mean, even the name. 12 00:00:40,657 --> 00:00:44,703 It's-It's blowing me away, frankly. But you promise, just us. No work? 13 00:00:44,786 --> 00:00:49,457 No work, no school and no fighting. No bickering, okay? I promise. 14 00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:56,506 We'll just vibe. Living, loving. Maybe even laughing if you're lucky. 15 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,604 Listen up, nobody wants to be here today, okay? 16 00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:13,940 You think I wanna be here on a Saturday spending time administering 17 00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:16,067 a standardized test to you? Hell no! 18 00:01:16,151 --> 00:01:17,235 Full disclosure, 19 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:21,198 I'm supposed to be at my buddy's post-divorce pub crawl right now, okay? 20 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,407 That's where I'm supposed to be. 21 00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:25,452 But no, I'm here with you all lovely students 22 00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:28,538 administering this test because standardized testing is important. 23 00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:33,835 Let's move this along, Bert and Ernie. Come on. 24 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:39,090 So, you know the rules. No talking, no cheating, and def… 25 00:01:39,174 --> 00:01:40,800 - What? - Where's Chelsea at? 26 00:01:40,884 --> 00:01:44,846 Um. Chelsea has a special accommodation that allows her to take the test alone. 27 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,223 - Why? - Rick? 28 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,186 Right. Um, she has a learning disorder. 29 00:01:51,269 --> 00:01:52,270 Dude, I whispered 30 00:01:52,354 --> 00:01:53,897 - 'cause you're not supposed to say that. - What? 31 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,690 Being batshit isn't a disability. 32 00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:57,067 Don't say "batshit." 33 00:01:57,150 --> 00:02:00,737 Chelsea's not even crazy though. She's got ADHD and mild dyslexia. 34 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,948 Who doesn't? - Jeff, that's so mean. 35 00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,408 Nobody's more sympathetic to Chelsea's pain than me. 36 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,868 I used to help her sell her meds last year. 37 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,453 Jeff, we talked about this. 38 00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:11,873 No, Chelsea is special because she's on Concerta. 39 00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:14,042 No, you're not listening. She's not on Concerta. 40 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,711 She sells it to people. That's the problem. 41 00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,589 Oh, wow. She brought her own rug? 42 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,426 Her test exceptions allow her to bring up to six personal items 43 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:28,348 to make her feel more comfortable, and she has chosen as one of them a rug. 44 00:02:28,431 --> 00:02:30,016 Do you need help setting up, Chels? 45 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,269 I'll let you know when I need assistance, Miss. 46 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,604 Oh, my God. Yeah, whatever you need. 47 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,565 Are rugs technically a personal item? It feels kind of like furniture. 48 00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:39,359 Not the hill I'm gonna die on. 49 00:02:39,442 --> 00:02:42,279 Isn't it so nice that we live in a world where kids like this are given 50 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,072 the space and time they need to thrive? 51 00:02:44,155 --> 00:02:45,156 Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,325 You know she's gonna ace this test. She's basically a genius. 53 00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:49,953 She definitely has… …issues for sure. 54 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,664 But can you imagine how her genius would be untapped 55 00:02:52,747 --> 00:02:54,624 back in the early 20th century 'cause people didn't understand it. 56 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,001 Mm-hmm. 57 00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,044 You almost ready, Chelsea? 58 00:02:58,128 --> 00:02:59,296 You're not allowed to ask me that. 59 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,298 Oh, G… Okay. Of course, of course. 60 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,718 I mean, they've taken every tool we have to implement discipline. 61 00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:06,219 See, she's advocating for herself. 62 00:03:06,303 --> 00:03:07,846 - She's advocating. - Yeah, she is. Yeah, she is. 63 00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:09,097 Excuse me. 64 00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:10,432 I'm still a bit chilly. 65 00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:12,225 Do you think we could crank the heat all the way up 66 00:03:12,309 --> 00:03:14,227 so I can perform at my peak potential? 67 00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:18,315 Absolutely. Whatever you need, girl. 68 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,650 Oh, no. No, no, no. 69 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,402 Oh, God al… 70 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,238 This is nice, right? 71 00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:27,157 Hi. What? 72 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,326 They're looking at… They're looking at us. 73 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,661 - That's what people do. They're waving. - Two guys on a boat. It's all good. 74 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:32,996 Just relax. 75 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:36,124 I think I just need to, like, give in to this because, like, I'm… 76 00:03:36,207 --> 00:03:38,793 I feel myself actively getting less cool in every moment. 77 00:03:38,877 --> 00:03:41,963 Oh, Malcolm. You don't have to be cool. 78 00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,132 Hot take. Incorrect but hot. 79 00:03:44,215 --> 00:03:46,009 I guess I didn't think it would be so touristy. 80 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,635 You know what? It's giving Groupon. 81 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,264 - It's giving Groupon in a major way. 82 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,391 Do you wanna just go back in? 83 00:03:53,475 --> 00:03:54,476 Is that okay? 84 00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:55,560 Yeah. 85 00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,312 Let's just binge TV in the room. 86 00:03:58,229 --> 00:04:02,067 You have exactly three hours. Starting in three, two, one. 87 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,287 What are you doing? 88 00:04:14,371 --> 00:04:15,872 I'm taking a test. Leave me alone. 89 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,457 What the hell you mean you're taking the test? 90 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,833 You're not allowed to take the test. 91 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:19,959 Who cares? Go. 92 00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:21,044 I care. What do you mean… 93 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,462 You're supposed to be monitoring these kids with me, man. 94 00:04:22,545 --> 00:04:25,298 - This is important to me, please. - Can we talk in the hall? 95 00:04:25,382 --> 00:04:26,966 - Dude, get out of my life. - Come talk to me in the hall. 96 00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,177 - In a second. - Rick, hall. Now. 97 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,261 Stop. 98 00:04:30,345 --> 00:04:31,346 - What are you doing? Whoa. 99 00:04:31,429 --> 00:04:33,515 You're breaking my arm. Okay, okay. 100 00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:35,517 - We're trying to take a test. - Ah! Don't tickle me. 101 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,102 - What is this? - Take your tests. 102 00:04:38,019 --> 00:04:39,437 Let's keep testing. 103 00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,650 - Let me go. 104 00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:45,318 We can't be having this. 105 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,448 Just test… Just keep testing. 106 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,412 Just tell me what the hell is going on. 107 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:59,457 Look, I'm taking the test because I just like learning. 108 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,709 That's bullshit. You hate reading, dude. 109 00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:03,211 - What is it? 110 00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:06,381 I made a bet, okay? There's this junior, Connor. 111 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,969 I bet him that I'd get a better test score. Happy? 112 00:05:11,052 --> 00:05:14,264 You made a bet with a student for money? 113 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,266 Yeah, dude. That's how bets work. 114 00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:18,393 What do you think we bet? A fucking crab cake? 115 00:05:18,476 --> 00:05:19,561 I know how bets work, man. 116 00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:22,480 Who cares? I made a little bet. I love gambling. 117 00:05:22,564 --> 00:05:24,816 I literally thank God every day that it's not addictive. 118 00:05:26,109 --> 00:05:28,445 Fine. You wanna take the test? Go take the test. 119 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,780 - Thank you. Yes. - Okay? But no disruptions. 120 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:31,865 - Okay, deal. - None. 121 00:05:31,948 --> 00:05:32,949 But here's the deal. 122 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:35,535 You owe me extra time at the end of the test due to this interruption. 123 00:05:35,618 --> 00:05:36,619 No. 124 00:05:38,913 --> 00:05:39,998 I need an EpiPen. 125 00:05:41,332 --> 00:05:42,459 - What? - What? 126 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,127 I need an EpiPen. 127 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,087 Oh, my God. Are you… Are you okay? 128 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,422 You're not allowed to ask me that. 129 00:05:47,505 --> 00:05:50,467 Yes, and I apologize. I usually have one on me, but I don't. 130 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,887 I will text somebody to bring it to you. I'm so sorry. 131 00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:56,723 Thank you. And I'll take a sparkling water too while you're at it. 132 00:05:56,806 --> 00:05:58,224 Yes, coming up right away. 133 00:05:58,308 --> 00:05:59,642 EpiPen and LaCroix? 134 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,895 - This is bullshit. - What? 135 00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:04,105 I'm admitting that this is bullshit. 136 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,983 Between you and me, she doesn't want an EpiPen. 137 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,902 She doesn't want water. She doesn't want a rug. 138 00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:10,695 She doesn't want any of it. She doesn't want it. 139 00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:12,363 What… What does she want? 140 00:06:12,447 --> 00:06:14,199 The most addictive thing in the universe. 141 00:06:14,282 --> 00:06:16,367 - 5-Hour Energy? - What? Power! 142 00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:18,036 Guys, let's keep an eye on the talking. 143 00:06:18,119 --> 00:06:20,955 Power, Gwen. And we're giving it to her. 144 00:06:21,039 --> 00:06:22,457 - I see your point… - Yeah. 145 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:24,918 …but Chelsea has real problems. 146 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,337 Oh, please. No one is saying that she doesn't have any problems, 147 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,631 but we used to deal with problems differently. 148 00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:30,715 Kids used to have grit. 149 00:06:30,798 --> 00:06:32,717 My parents raised me to deal with reality. 150 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,012 Oh, if this was 1985, we'd have so much more to work with. 151 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:41,851 EpiPen! My allergy is getting worse. 152 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,269 And what's the allergy? 153 00:06:43,353 --> 00:06:45,313 - You're not allowed to ask me that. - You're not allowed to ask her that. 154 00:06:45,396 --> 00:06:46,397 - What? - No, that's actually true. 155 00:06:46,481 --> 00:06:47,774 It's a HIPAA violation. 156 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,737 I relate so much to every character on And Just Like That. 157 00:06:53,696 --> 00:06:54,697 What? 158 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,617 I relate so much to every character on And Just Like That. 159 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:58,701 What? 160 00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,621 Oh, you relate so much to every character 161 00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:04,249 - on And Just Like That. - And Just Like That. Yeah. 162 00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:06,960 That's just a crazy sentence to understand. 163 00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:11,422 I just feel like one day we're gonna, like, be in our 50s and be like, fuck. 164 00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:15,385 - Like, where did the time go, you know? Uh-huh. 165 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:18,555 Charlotte's up to her own stuff still. 166 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:22,225 Don't even get me started on Carrie. That mess. 167 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,395 We're just watching TV in the room, huh? 168 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,314 - Yo, hermana. What's up? 169 00:07:28,398 --> 00:07:34,862 Yo, papi. How's the hotel? How's your big getaway, wherever you are? I'm forgetting. 170 00:07:34,946 --> 00:07:37,448 It's good. It's-It's cute. How's everything there? 171 00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:38,908 I still feel like I'm letting you guys down. 172 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:43,246 No, everything's fine. We have everything under control. 173 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,539 How's Chelsea? Is she behaving? 174 00:07:44,622 --> 00:07:46,749 Yeah, it's manageable. More or less. Yeah. 175 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,586 Yeah. No, no, it's great. We're Chelsea's employees. 176 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,296 I can hear you up there. 177 00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:53,798 How crazy is she being? Is she, like, faking an allergy yet? 178 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,175 No, I know what you're doing. You're trying to work while you're on vacation. 179 00:07:56,259 --> 00:07:59,178 - No, don't hang up. - Go enjoy. Enjoy your days off. 180 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,516 Wait, so why is Rick taking the test? 181 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,184 He made a bet with some kid. 182 00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:07,270 He made a bet… He should not be doing that. 183 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,646 He literally has a gambling addiction. 184 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,858 Evan, chill out, man. Seriously, enjoy your vacation. 185 00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:14,027 Go get in one of them big bathtubs, right? 186 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,278 Those big brass bathtubs. 187 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,447 They got those, right? The ones like in Red Dead Redemption. 188 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,158 - Wait, wait, I have another question. - No. You don't have any more questions. 189 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,784 Okay, but just text me if anything else hap— 190 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,037 See you Monday. Bye. God. 191 00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,581 Okay. 192 00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:30,209 This is ridiculous. 193 00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:33,087 No, I think this is great. It's a reasonable request. 194 00:08:33,171 --> 00:08:34,922 She wants to get her blood flowing. 195 00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:37,508 - Oh. You're so nice, you know? Too nice. 196 00:08:37,592 --> 00:08:40,595 She's taking advantage of us. She's taking advantage of you. 197 00:08:40,678 --> 00:08:43,139 I don't know. I think different people learn in different ways, 198 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,432 like my boyfriend, Nick. 199 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:47,935 He recently had this idea to build a rentable pickleball court 200 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:49,812 on top of this pool that he built in our backyard. 201 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,022 - Yes. The pool that he… - In the backyard. 202 00:08:51,105 --> 00:08:52,315 But now he's building on top of it. 203 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,359 - That's very interesting. Yeah. - Exactly, exactly. 204 00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:56,653 So I'm just saying, like, he's not a thinker. 205 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,864 He doesn't take the time to think about the pros and cons. 206 00:08:59,947 --> 00:09:03,826 He really has to get in there and actually build it with his hands 207 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,746 - before he figures out if it's— - If it's a good idea or not. 208 00:09:06,829 --> 00:09:07,830 Yes. 209 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,625 I don't like to get, you know, mixed up into personal relationships, 210 00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:14,462 but I am willing to offer you my perspective if and only if you ask for it. 211 00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:15,838 Yeah, I want that. I want that. 212 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,340 You're not tough enough with Nick. 213 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,468 I mean, this is, what, his second, like, idiotic experiment? 214 00:09:20,551 --> 00:09:22,970 And what a waste of what I assume is your money. 215 00:09:23,054 --> 00:09:25,890 Well, he had $11,000 from his job when he started the pool. 216 00:09:25,973 --> 00:09:27,767 Okay, now how far did that get him? 217 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:29,602 The third of the way through the pool project. 218 00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:31,938 That's exactly right, because these are flights of fancy, Gwendolyn. 219 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:33,022 Yeah. 220 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,565 That's what happens when we coddle people. 221 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:39,654 You need to sit him down gently and say, "Time to stop playing around. 222 00:09:39,737 --> 00:09:42,615 Get a job. Work in a bank. Try Amway." 223 00:09:42,699 --> 00:09:44,367 Can you guys keep it down, please? 224 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,578 - Are you ready yet, Chelsea? Ready to go? - Stop talking. 225 00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:48,746 Sorry. 226 00:09:51,582 --> 00:09:56,629 "PX equals negative 25X squared plus 500X minus 1,200." 227 00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:59,215 This is like the fucking funny pages. 228 00:10:00,091 --> 00:10:01,718 Psst! Psst! 229 00:10:02,218 --> 00:10:03,720 Teacher. Psst. 230 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,639 - What? - Help me out. 231 00:10:07,181 --> 00:10:09,016 - Help you out with what? - The fucking test. 232 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,561 Are you kidding me? I'm letting you take the test. How about that? 233 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:12,812 Dude, this shit's hard as hell. 234 00:10:12,895 --> 00:10:15,314 When I was a kid, it was like, "Three times seven. 235 00:10:15,398 --> 00:10:17,358 What sound does a dog make?" That type of shit. 236 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:20,653 "What sound does a dog make?" That was on the test you took? 237 00:10:20,737 --> 00:10:22,822 Dude, just go up to Erica. She's smart as hell. 238 00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:25,283 - We can hear you. - Turn around. Take your test. 239 00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:27,660 - Be quiet. - You're cheating off me. 240 00:10:27,744 --> 00:10:29,036 Deirdre, ignore him. 241 00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:31,456 - Hey. You just tried to kiss me. - Rick. 242 00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:32,999 - No, I didn't. - He's trying to kiss me, y'all. 243 00:10:33,082 --> 00:10:34,083 Oh, God. Oh… 244 00:10:36,419 --> 00:10:39,922 Evan, could I borrow your bowl to show to the other students? 245 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,216 - Yeah, if you think it's good. I do. 246 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:46,637 - You are a phenomenal student. - Thank you. That's so nice. 247 00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:51,350 Okay. It's all actu… No, no, I'm understanding a lot right now. 248 00:10:51,434 --> 00:10:52,977 - What? - Why you're a teacher in general. 249 00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:55,354 You're, like, a quintessential teacher's pet. 250 00:10:55,438 --> 00:10:57,899 - I'm not a teacher's pet. - Yes, you are. 251 00:10:57,982 --> 00:11:00,318 Stop being jealous. Yes, I like teachers. I like learning. 252 00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:01,694 That's why I became a teacher. 253 00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:03,529 I'm sorry that your job isn't your calling. 254 00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:05,323 You don't have to be jealous that mine is. 255 00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:08,075 Whoa. Okay. You don't have to come for my career. 256 00:11:08,159 --> 00:11:09,660 That's, like, not where we were at all. 257 00:11:09,744 --> 00:11:11,829 It's not even a career. You said that yourself. 258 00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:15,208 You didn't have a lifelong passion for brand strategies and tech. 259 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:18,503 Yeah, well, I had a lifelong strategy to actually make money. 260 00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,463 Which does benefit you when we go out to dinner, 261 00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,256 and I pay for the check more than half the time. 262 00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:23,758 You don't have to pay for the bill ever. 263 00:11:23,841 --> 00:11:25,676 I don't ever need to go to expensive dinners. 264 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,553 I go to those because you want me to. 265 00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:30,515 Yeah, and you always order the omakase. You don't get the rolls. 266 00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:34,143 Just saying you have expensive tastes, so maybe don't complain. 267 00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:37,104 Okay. I'm… I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 268 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,192 This is really fun. Are you having fun? 269 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,822 Oh, my gosh, pottery? So earthy, so fun. 270 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:48,741 It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. What's Chelsea been doing? 271 00:11:48,825 --> 00:11:51,369 She's good. She started taking the test, so, um… 272 00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:54,205 - She left for lunch, Evan. - Oh, my God, Grant. 273 00:11:54,288 --> 00:11:57,250 - She took an Uber. I gave her $40. - Oh, God. 274 00:11:57,333 --> 00:12:00,294 Evan. I literally can't believe you right now. What's going on? 275 00:12:00,378 --> 00:12:02,505 Malcolm, we were sitting in there bickering, okay? 276 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,465 I thought it would be good to give it ten minutes. 277 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,969 And then I thought I would call school for a second to see how they were doing. 278 00:12:08,052 --> 00:12:10,388 Just say it. You left our couple's activity 279 00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:12,473 to fucking call Gwen 'cause you like her better than me. 280 00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,892 You always have to stir some shit up. 281 00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:17,520 Like, finding something to fight about. You're ridiculous. 282 00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:20,815 You were stirring shit up just now with the omakase. 283 00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:23,860 How did we fail so hard at this trip already? 284 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,778 Let's just go, please? 285 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,697 Okay, we can head out. 286 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,781 Thank you. 287 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:31,868 - I do need to stop at school though first. 288 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,744 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Oh, well, you're… 289 00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:35,538 you're wearing an insane hat. 290 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,748 It's not insane. 291 00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:42,753 Fucking stupid. How do you not know what fucking opaque means? Oh, shit. 292 00:12:42,837 --> 00:12:44,422 Dude, what the— 293 00:12:44,505 --> 00:12:47,341 Dude, this fucking thing keeps coming off. This place is a dump. 294 00:12:47,425 --> 00:12:49,302 You gotta chill the fuck out, buddy. 295 00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:52,722 Seriously, what is the big deal here, man? Is this about the bet? 296 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,765 - How much was it? - Fifty bucks. 297 00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:59,061 You know what? Because it's a Saturday and… 298 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,230 Yeah, here you go, man. You good? 299 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,443 Listen, dude, it's not about the money! These kids think I'm stupid! 300 00:13:05,526 --> 00:13:08,237 Just because I have a casual, chill approach to life, 301 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:12,241 and I'm not always flexing my, like… my, you know, my, uh… 302 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,743 - Intellect. - Right, 303 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:17,914 my intellect up in everyone's face, but maybe they're right. 304 00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,290 Maybe I am stupid. 305 00:13:19,373 --> 00:13:21,751 Maybe I'm too stupid to even know I'm stupid. 306 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,044 Come on, man. 307 00:13:23,127 --> 00:13:26,923 I never should have made a bet with that punk-ass Connor Jeffers. 308 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,592 - Connor Jeffers? - Yeah. 309 00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:31,344 That's who you made the bet with? The 11th grader? 310 00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:32,428 Yeah. 311 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:35,264 That little shit started a rumor that I don't brush my teeth. 312 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,308 Which I do, by the way, just not at night. 313 00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:39,185 - Nobody brushes their teeth at night. - Thank you. 314 00:13:39,268 --> 00:13:41,896 He's starting shit with me. He's starting shit with you. 315 00:13:42,563 --> 00:13:44,440 You know, Rick? The smart thing in life 316 00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:48,069 is to know which battles to fight and which battles to walk away from. 317 00:13:49,111 --> 00:13:51,739 - So let's go cheat on this fucking test. - Yes! 318 00:14:01,332 --> 00:14:02,583 What? 319 00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:13,886 If you have COVID, you gotta back up. I'm not vaccinated. 320 00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:15,638 Don't worry about it. Worry about your test, okay? 321 00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:19,350 Twenty-four. 322 00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:24,105 Bro, do you have tuberculosis or what? 323 00:14:24,188 --> 00:14:26,148 - What the fuck? - Yeah, what the fuck? 324 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,817 Yeah, it's treatable, okay? Don't worry about it. 325 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,902 Well, treat it. You're scaring all the hos. 326 00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:32,530 You know what? Next word out of you, and you're out. Go, focus. 327 00:14:32,613 --> 00:14:34,615 - I feel the mist. - Shh. 328 00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:39,453 All right, that's time. 329 00:14:39,537 --> 00:14:42,164 I missed the last question 'cause of your dumb coughing. 330 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,917 Well, people cough in real life, okay, Erica? Get used to it. 331 00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:46,669 Well, that was great. 332 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:50,172 You guys wanna have some beers in my car or watch me drink beer in my car? 333 00:14:54,635 --> 00:14:56,679 - Hi. Hi. Oh, my God, Evan. 334 00:14:56,762 --> 00:15:00,516 Oh, Evan, that's great. Perfect. You'll take care of this. 335 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,809 Oh, my God, Jessica? 336 00:15:01,892 --> 00:15:03,644 Malcolm! 337 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:04,937 Wait, you go here? 338 00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:06,605 Yeah, I'm here, like, all the time. 339 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,691 Jessica? What do you mean? How do you guys know each other? 340 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,317 - The club. - The scene. 341 00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:12,361 Like, we go out together, obviously. 342 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,530 Why are you calling her Jessica? Her name is Chelsea. 343 00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:16,240 It's the name on my fake ID. 344 00:15:16,323 --> 00:15:17,825 She's insane. You'd be obsessed with her. 345 00:15:17,908 --> 00:15:19,702 You should really… We should hang out with her. 346 00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,579 - Never. - I love that hat. 347 00:15:21,662 --> 00:15:23,873 Oh, my God, thank you. He does not understand the vision. 348 00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,125 Well, he wouldn't get it. He's dressed like a zookeeper. 349 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,377 - I know. - You'd make a good zookeeper. 350 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,088 Gwen, stay out of this. It's between me and Jessica. 351 00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:33,507 You guys just left Blanco Lakeside Village? 352 00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:36,260 Oh, no, no, no, this is obviously still part of the vacation. 353 00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:39,096 You know how Evan can't relax, so he has to find some drama 354 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,724 with the school or his mom or Pete Buttigieg. 355 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,727 - Oh, you're still fighting. Okay. - I came to help. 356 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,562 Honestly, Mr. Marquez, I am really glad that you're here 357 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:50,066 because she has been low-key gaslighting me all day. 358 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,693 Chelsea, if anybody's been gaslighting anybody, it's you. 359 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,404 You're gaslighting people. You're domming them, okay? 360 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,823 - You're a narcissist. - You're a narcissist. 361 00:15:58,449 --> 00:16:00,367 - You're a psychopath. - You're a psychopath. 362 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,788 - You're bipolar. - You're bipolar. 363 00:16:03,871 --> 00:16:05,998 Okay, look, I'm gonna make this easy. 364 00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,793 Don't take the test. It's over. 365 00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:11,921 - So, what, I just fail it? - No, you're not gonna fail it. 366 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,881 We're just gonna artificially give you a good score. 367 00:16:13,964 --> 00:16:15,800 - It's easy for us to do. - You can't do that. 368 00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:17,676 Yes, we can do that. We'll look up the answers. 369 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,178 We'll take it in ten minutes, but just go home. 370 00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:23,432 Okay, Mr. Marquez, with all due respect, I think that that is, like, illegal. 371 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,476 It's a test. Who cares? 372 00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:29,063 Okay, yeah, but I can get an amazing score on the test by myself. 373 00:16:29,146 --> 00:16:31,148 - No, it's fine. We'll just do it. - No, no, no, no, no. 374 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:35,277 Why don't you step back and start the clock, okay? 375 00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:41,242 I'm still mad at you, but that was very impressive. 376 00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:42,910 You got this, Jessica. 377 00:16:44,245 --> 00:16:47,414 So, did you guys, like, do one cough for A, two coughs for B, 378 00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:48,999 - that kind of thing? - Bingo. 379 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,417 - Wait, what? No. - What? 380 00:16:50,501 --> 00:16:52,419 One cough for C, like C for "cough." 381 00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:56,966 Two coughs for D, "double cough." This is the most obvious shit ever. 382 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,760 Rick. We had a system, dude. Foolproof. 383 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,804 - This sucks, dude. I failed the test. - It's fine. 384 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,556 - You didn't fail the test. - They'll literally— 385 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:06,350 The only thing I'm good at is business and girls. 386 00:17:07,518 --> 00:17:08,519 Right, come on. We're up. 387 00:17:09,019 --> 00:17:13,649 Hey. Sorry I was like a little baby bitch today. 388 00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,442 No, I'm sorry. 389 00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:18,112 I really do have trouble putting my work aside. 390 00:17:18,195 --> 00:17:21,824 No, it's not that. It's these people, you know? 391 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,244 It's like they're your friends, and they used to be my friends, 392 00:17:25,327 --> 00:17:27,288 and then I got fired and so they're not my friends, 393 00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:29,206 but they're still your friends. So it's just like— 394 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,583 Fuck! I hate my life! 395 00:17:30,666 --> 00:17:31,792 I don't know. 396 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,211 Malcolm, these people love you. They're still your friends. 397 00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:37,506 Mmm. I think I'm just jealous that they get to spend time with you all day. 398 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,175 - With me? - Yeah. 399 00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:42,303 I'm jealous that you have a whole new group of gay work friends 400 00:17:42,386 --> 00:17:43,637 at your tech job. 401 00:17:44,471 --> 00:17:48,392 Yeah, they're… they're nice, but they're… they're kinda like… 402 00:17:48,475 --> 00:17:50,269 They're born-this-way gays. 403 00:17:50,352 --> 00:17:52,354 What does that mean, born-this-way gays? 404 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,565 You know, it's like, "I'm with her" gays. 405 00:17:54,648 --> 00:17:56,984 Like, "In this house, we believe in science" gays, 406 00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,152 you know what I mean? 407 00:17:58,235 --> 00:18:02,239 - You don't believe in science? - I do. 408 00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:04,074 We should hang out with them sometime. 409 00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:05,784 - Okay. We can do that. - Text them. 410 00:18:05,868 --> 00:18:07,870 - They were actually texting me. - See what they're doing. 411 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:11,081 They're… And they are playing gay dodgeball. 412 00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:13,334 - What happened to everyone? 413 00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,711 Gwen, I must say, I was wrong about this pickleball thing. 414 00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:18,339 I think it was good to let Nick run this experiment. 415 00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:21,926 What, did you think it was like a… like a giant waste of money or something? 416 00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:25,095 - Oh, that was… Yeah. - It exceeded my expectations, is all. 417 00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,847 - He was saying it was good. Yeah. 418 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,974 And you know what else? I was really impressed 419 00:18:29,058 --> 00:18:31,393 that Evan was able to help Chelsea find her grit. 420 00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:32,811 All right, 2-5. - No. 421 00:18:32,895 --> 00:18:34,230 - 2-6? Nope. 422 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:35,773 - Then, what is it? - 10-8. 423 00:18:35,856 --> 00:18:37,274 It's not, but whatever. 424 00:18:38,234 --> 00:18:39,360 Oh, fuck!