1 00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:36,945 I never thought this day would actually come where I graduated 2 00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:38,322 'cause high school's my whole life… 3 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,282 I know, I didn't think you were gonna graduate either. 4 00:00:40,365 --> 00:00:42,409 Okay. Guys, let's settle down. 5 00:00:42,492 --> 00:00:46,538 Don't forget to bring in your yearbook receipts if you ordered a yearbook— 6 00:00:46,622 --> 00:00:48,749 Wait. Mr. Marquez, you're not gonna make a speech or anything, 7 00:00:48,832 --> 00:00:51,001 since we're graduating, and it's the end of the school year? 8 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,462 Yes, I'm gonna make a speech, and my speech is this. 9 00:00:53,545 --> 00:00:56,965 Don't forget to bring in your yearbook receipts if you ordered a yearbook or— 10 00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:59,635 Can you not see that we're emotional wrecks right now? 11 00:00:59,718 --> 00:01:01,511 I'm feeling so nostalgic for high school. 12 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,932 Becca, I don't think you can be nostalgic for something that's happening right now. 13 00:01:05,015 --> 00:01:07,768 Maybe you can, and maybe that's why it's so beautiful. 14 00:01:07,851 --> 00:01:09,061 Deep. Wow. 15 00:01:09,144 --> 00:01:11,396 - Snaps. Wow. That is beautiful, Jeff. 16 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,606 And that is a beautiful speech. 17 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,983 There's the speech. It's just graduation. 18 00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,902 You don't have to get so emotional. 19 00:01:16,985 --> 00:01:20,238 Attention. Attention. The results are in and the winner is… 20 00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:21,448 Drumroll please… 21 00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,034 What is this for? 22 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:27,371 Ugh. I didn't say… This is for the senior class voting 23 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,622 for commencement orator. 24 00:01:28,705 --> 00:01:30,040 It's for "commitment orienter." 25 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:31,291 - Thanks, Jeff. 26 00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,376 And the winner is… 27 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,543 Clay Connolly. 28 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,128 - Dude! 29 00:01:35,212 --> 00:01:37,255 - Oh, wow. - Oh, my God. That guy? 30 00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:40,008 Congrats, Clay. Wow. 31 00:01:40,092 --> 00:01:43,178 Thanks, thanks, uh, for-for… 32 00:01:45,055 --> 00:01:48,517 I'm sure it will go great, wonderfully. Uh… 33 00:01:49,726 --> 00:01:52,771 - Hell yeah, Clay. That's our boy, man. 34 00:01:52,854 --> 00:01:55,983 Dawg, it worked. Let's go. My gosh. 35 00:01:57,234 --> 00:01:59,027 These kids are clearly bullying Clay. 36 00:01:59,111 --> 00:02:02,114 That kid is the last person who should be speaking at a graduation. 37 00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:03,657 I mean, what is he gonna say? 38 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:05,575 What memories does he have with the student body? 39 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,202 It's like a few years ago when they voted 40 00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:09,621 Scott Reese and Delilah Birch as prom king and queen, 41 00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:12,165 even though they were the biggest fucking dorks in the whole grade. 42 00:02:12,249 --> 00:02:14,042 Yeah, but those two ended up getting married 43 00:02:14,126 --> 00:02:16,503 and then those bullies are, I think, addicted to meth. 44 00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:19,297 - Marriage is not a prize. - I fucking love when nerds find love. 45 00:02:19,381 --> 00:02:21,717 It's like when a raccoon and a skunk become friends. 46 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,135 I love raccoons. 47 00:02:23,218 --> 00:02:25,470 Evan, you may not like that they voted for Clay, 48 00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:28,181 but you have to trust the democratic process, dude. 49 00:02:28,265 --> 00:02:29,349 - This is America. - No, no, no, 50 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:30,726 these kids are doing this to be cruel. 51 00:02:30,809 --> 00:02:32,853 - I mean, Clay is great. So great. 52 00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:35,814 - He's not like a public speaker. - He's good at computer, I think. 53 00:02:35,897 --> 00:02:38,066 - I think he's amazing at computer. - Gonna be very embarrassing. 54 00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:39,860 They're all gonna be laughing at him up there. 55 00:02:39,943 --> 00:02:41,987 - We should help him, or something. - We definitely should. 56 00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:44,364 - What if you just told Clay the truth? - No. No. No. 57 00:02:44,448 --> 00:02:46,491 Can't tell him 'cause then I'm gonna burst his bubble— 58 00:02:46,575 --> 00:02:49,202 Whatever, dude, I don't know what to do. I can't help you all the time. 59 00:02:49,286 --> 00:02:51,705 I'm busy. Grant gave me so much fucking responsibility 60 00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:53,081 for this graduation ceremony. 61 00:02:53,165 --> 00:02:55,542 - Rick, you're planning the graduation? - He's planning the whole thing. 62 00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:57,586 It's like, I don't give a shit where folding chairs go. 63 00:02:57,669 --> 00:02:58,754 I'm in summer mode. 64 00:02:58,837 --> 00:03:00,380 I should be at the beach smoking salvia. 65 00:03:00,464 --> 00:03:04,384 Oh, my God, this might be the last time we see you four sitting in the cafeteria. 66 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,636 Don't do the sentimental thing, you guys. Just chill. 67 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,721 Yeah, this is sad as hell. 68 00:03:07,804 --> 00:03:09,556 I'll take a picture to remember. 69 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,558 - Yikes, I'm crying. - I should have brought my film camera. 70 00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:13,810 - Just take the picture, Monica. Come on. 71 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,270 Aw. Let me see that. 72 00:03:15,353 --> 00:03:16,396 - That's so cute. - Don't delete that. 73 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,814 You do not have my permission to post that. 74 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,734 Why? You look beautiful. Frame that. Put it in the Louvre. 75 00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:22,027 What is that smell? Is it— 76 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:23,320 - His crab. Imitation crab. 77 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,363 It was only $4. I got it at the gas station. 78 00:03:25,447 --> 00:03:26,865 Well, uh, thank you, guys. 79 00:03:26,948 --> 00:03:28,867 - Sorry, I forgot you were here. - Thank you for everything. 80 00:03:28,950 --> 00:03:30,452 - You guys were awesome teachers. - Big ups. 81 00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:32,621 We're gonna miss you. - All right, cool. Love you, guys. 82 00:03:32,704 --> 00:03:34,706 I'm just realizing how beautiful it is that you're gay. 83 00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:35,874 Okay, bye. Goodbye. 84 00:03:35,957 --> 00:03:39,419 Oh, my God, every year they get so weepy around graduation. 85 00:03:39,503 --> 00:03:41,213 It's especially weird given that I'm literally gonna 86 00:03:41,296 --> 00:03:42,756 see half of these kids in summer school. 87 00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:45,258 Am I the only one teaching summer school? Are you not doing summer school? 88 00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:46,843 - No, no. - Damn, I'm jealous of that. 89 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,554 You know, you get the whole year off if you love your job. 90 00:03:49,638 --> 00:03:51,181 You never work a day in your life. 91 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,307 Is that how you are? 92 00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:54,476 - No, I fucking hate this. - Right. 93 00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:56,686 - Monica is still taking pictures of us. 94 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,730 - Monica, stop. - These are powerful images. 95 00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,398 Powerful images of my back? 96 00:04:00,482 --> 00:04:02,776 I got some of your corner too. You look good. 97 00:04:05,153 --> 00:04:07,823 - Evan, there he is. 98 00:04:07,906 --> 00:04:10,450 Fresh coffee from the teachers' lounge for you, sir. 99 00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:12,702 - Thank you so much. - Mm-hmm. 100 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,204 Mm-mmm. 101 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:15,705 Soapy? I gave it a quick rinse. 102 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,333 - I'm sorry. - What's going on? Why are you being nice? 103 00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:19,751 Well, now that you bring it up. 104 00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:22,379 You know Jennifer did extremely well on The Amazing Race, 105 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:25,215 and due to her unique personality, she's been cast on The Traitors. 106 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:26,967 Have you seen The Traitors? I haven't seen the… 107 00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,052 Anyway, needless to say, she can't teach summer school… 108 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,470 No. I can't do summer school. 109 00:04:30,554 --> 00:04:32,973 Malcolm wants to, like, finally go to Berlin together this summer. 110 00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:34,224 I need to live my life. 111 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,184 Don't be ridiculous, Evan. You don't want to live your life. 112 00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:39,688 No good comes from that. Summer school, easy work, extra money. 113 00:04:39,771 --> 00:04:41,231 Think about it, okay? Just think about it. 114 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:42,482 - Hey, hey… - Just think about it. 115 00:04:42,566 --> 00:04:44,359 What do you think of this Clay Connolly situation 116 00:04:44,442 --> 00:04:46,027 where the kids made him the commencement orator? 117 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,237 It's a fine honor. What about it? 118 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,864 I think they're doing it to make fun of him. 119 00:04:48,947 --> 00:04:50,323 Clay is the captain of the basketball team. 120 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:51,658 - No one is gonna make fun of— - No. 121 00:04:51,741 --> 00:04:54,119 Clay Connolly, the guy with the long hair. 122 00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,580 It's a different student. 123 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,123 Oh. 124 00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:01,751 Evan, we've eradicated bullying. 125 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,919 Bullying doesn't exist. 126 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,337 I think we should try to do something. 127 00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:05,797 No, I don't think so. 128 00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:07,299 But summer school. 129 00:05:10,051 --> 00:05:12,012 Oh! - Markie. Hey. 130 00:05:12,095 --> 00:05:14,014 Oh, hey, man. How's it hanging, Nickname? 131 00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:15,223 - Wait. Nickname? - Yeah, man. 132 00:05:15,307 --> 00:05:16,600 Oh, shoot! You gave me a nickname. 133 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,934 - Nickname. - 'Cause my name is Nick. 134 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,144 - Nick-name. - You got it, bro. 135 00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,521 If you're looking for Gwen, I-I'm imagining she's in class. 136 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,773 Actually, I-I came looking for you. 137 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,442 - Really? - I need your help with something. 138 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:27,861 I'm gonna propose to Gwen. 139 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,161 Holy shit. Holy shit, man. 140 00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,205 Yeah. 141 00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:41,374 That is… You're doing it. 142 00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:43,501 And the best part is I'm gonna do it at graduation. 143 00:05:43,585 --> 00:05:45,420 - At this graduation? - Yeah. 144 00:05:45,503 --> 00:05:47,547 Okay. What do you need me for? 145 00:05:47,631 --> 00:05:49,257 Well, you're the one who reads off the kids' names 146 00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:50,675 when they're getting their diplomas, right? 147 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:52,219 - Mm-hmm. - That's perfect, man. 148 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:53,678 And you know, I would go to Evan for help, 149 00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:56,556 but it'd be a little too hard for him to keep it a secret because… 150 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,807 - He's gay. - …they're best friends. 151 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,018 - Right. Right, right, right. - Yeah. 152 00:06:01,686 --> 00:06:02,687 You know what, man? 153 00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:04,814 - Yes. - Yes? 154 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,358 Fine. I will help you. 155 00:06:06,441 --> 00:06:07,734 - Yes. Thank you. - It's gonna be fun, buddy. 156 00:06:07,817 --> 00:06:08,902 - Thank you. - Yeah, man. 157 00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:11,238 - Thank you so much, man. - I'm so happy for you. 158 00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,322 - Oh, Jeff, hey. 159 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,531 Evan. 160 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:15,408 You can't call me Evan until after you graduate. 161 00:06:15,492 --> 00:06:17,244 Well, I'm only kind of graduating. 162 00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,287 I didn't pass, but they're still letting me walk at graduation, 163 00:06:19,371 --> 00:06:20,538 - so I'll see you next year. - Okay. 164 00:06:20,622 --> 00:06:23,833 Look, Jeff, this thing with Clay being voted the commencement speaker, 165 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,752 is that like a joke? Are they bullying him? 166 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,712 - I'll tell if you let me call you Evan. - Fine. 167 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,173 Thank you, Evan. I think it's a version of bullying, 168 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,633 but like in a joking kind of way, Evan. 169 00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:32,717 See, I knew it! 170 00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:34,928 Jason and Tray, some of those guys organized it. 171 00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,430 I personally abstained because I don't believe in the right to vote. 172 00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:40,642 Okay, well, can you help Clay or something or go up there— 173 00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:43,728 Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, 174 00:06:44,729 --> 00:06:46,439 - Evan, Evan, Evan— - Okay. Yes. 175 00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:48,149 You're too late. Toothpaste is out of the tube. 176 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,359 Clay's gonna give that speech. 177 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:52,487 It's gonna be awful, and everybody's gonna laugh like this. 178 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,323 Marquez, Marquez. 179 00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:56,992 - Come on, Marquez. Come on. - Markie, I was in the middle of— 180 00:06:57,075 --> 00:06:58,326 Go to class! - You go to class. 181 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,078 - Guess who came to see me? - Who? 182 00:07:00,161 --> 00:07:01,538 - Nick. - Nick, Gwen's boyfriend? 183 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,789 - Yes. - Uh-huh. About what? 184 00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:05,917 He asked for my help with his proposal to Gwen. 185 00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:08,378 Oh, my God. 186 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,754 Hand to God, man. 187 00:07:09,838 --> 00:07:10,839 Oh, I'm sorry, Markie. 188 00:07:10,922 --> 00:07:13,174 It is what it is, you know? What am I gonna do? 189 00:07:13,925 --> 00:07:15,510 Did you find a way to get out of it? 190 00:07:15,593 --> 00:07:17,554 There is no way out of this, Evan. I have to help Nick. 191 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:21,224 In fact, I have to help him do the best damn proposal possible. 192 00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:24,561 - What? Why? I don't— - Man law, bro code. 193 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:26,271 But you're not bros with Nick. 194 00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:27,689 All men are bros, Evan. 195 00:07:28,189 --> 00:07:29,274 All men are bros. 196 00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:31,693 You know, sometimes I forget that my sole purpose in life 197 00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:33,903 - is to teach you about real masculinity. - Okay. 198 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,072 - I'm gonna make a top out of you yet, bud. - I am a top. 199 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,742 Bet that's what they all say, brother. 200 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,243 I don't have time for this, dude. 201 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,620 You gave me so much shit to do before this graduation. 202 00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:45,081 Just say a bunch of the kids got bird flu or some shit. 203 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,166 We'll do it from Zoom. 204 00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:48,251 Just calm down, Rick. This is worth your time. 205 00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:50,378 What the heck is this? 206 00:07:50,462 --> 00:07:52,589 This office has sat empty for quite a while. 207 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,091 It's not my problem. I don't have furniture to put in here. 208 00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,387 What's going on? Why are you being weird? 209 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:03,433 Do you have a gun? 210 00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:08,188 Congratulations, Rick. I want you to be my new vice. 211 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:11,691 - What? - I know. 212 00:08:11,775 --> 00:08:14,736 That's a lot to throw on you, and you've already got so much on your plate, 213 00:08:14,819 --> 00:08:17,197 but just take some time and think it over, okay? 214 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,365 You've earned this. 215 00:08:21,785 --> 00:08:24,245 Oh, my God. It smells like piss in here. 216 00:08:25,997 --> 00:08:28,291 Clay, we're not saying you have to use this whole speech 217 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,543 we wrote for you, but it's a good starting place— 218 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:33,088 Not at all. But there are some parts in here that we do like. 219 00:08:33,171 --> 00:08:36,633 Yeah, the flower analogy is very elegant, and I will miss it if you don't use it. 220 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,259 "Flower with many petals." Okay. Yeah. 221 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,804 Consider this a guideline, you know, a starting place. 222 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:44,057 We're just giving you, like, bumpers in a bowling alley, you know. 223 00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:45,600 - Yeah. - There's no way you can miss. 224 00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:48,019 And I would say as short as you want. 225 00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,938 So short that it barely exists. 226 00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:52,023 You want them going, "Wait, did he give a speech? 227 00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:55,151 - I'm trying to remember, and I can't." - Why don't we rehearse this one part? 228 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,778 Just say… Try that sentence. 229 00:08:56,861 --> 00:08:58,321 That could be your whole speech. 230 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:02,117 "I see this not as an end, but as a begin." 231 00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:05,245 This is just like a soft pitch, but you could maybe 232 00:09:05,328 --> 00:09:08,123 say the whole word "beginning" instead of just using that first part. 233 00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,749 Guys, I'm gonna be fine. 234 00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,669 Smooth as a cucumber, boo-ba-do-ba-do. 235 00:09:15,463 --> 00:09:20,427 Clay, what we want you to know is that you don't have to give this speech at all, 236 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,095 if you don't want to. You could just bow out. 237 00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:23,388 You can hand it off to somebody else. 238 00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,557 I would never turn down such a huge honor like this. 239 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,933 I was voted in. I have to. 240 00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:28,309 Do you actually want to do this? 241 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:31,312 I got a bunch of family flying in from Edmonton just to see me speak. I gotta— 242 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,648 - God, they're flying from the UK? - Where is Edmonton? 243 00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:36,109 - Alberta. - Oh, my God. You're Australian? 244 00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:37,444 Canada. 245 00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:39,279 - I bet they're so friendly. - That's so great. 246 00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:43,950 Is that good? 247 00:09:46,244 --> 00:09:47,454 - Rick? 248 00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:50,123 - Don't hiss at me? - He's stressed. Rick, are you okay? 249 00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:51,416 Dude, are you like my ex-wife? 250 00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:54,002 Always asking if I'm okay. Like, I'm fine. 251 00:09:54,085 --> 00:09:55,503 - Like I don't always have to talk. - Rick. 252 00:09:55,587 --> 00:09:57,338 Like he talks a lot. Let him talk. 253 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,507 - I don't talk that much. - You talk so much. 254 00:10:02,051 --> 00:10:03,344 - Fuck! - Good job, man. 255 00:10:04,095 --> 00:10:06,139 - So I was thinking that for the proposal… - Okay. 256 00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:08,850 …I'm gonna shower her with roses after she says yes. What do you think? 257 00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:10,435 Roses have kind of been done, man. 258 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,353 All due respect, seriously, think bigger. 259 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,230 Like her middle name is Violet. There you go, right there. 260 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,607 - Is it? - Violet. 261 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,234 I mean, I know it started with a V, but after so much time has passed, 262 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,320 I can't even acknowledge that I don't know her middle name. 263 00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:21,821 Of course, right. Why would you? 264 00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:23,114 Hey, my pickleball boys! 265 00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:24,908 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, babe. 266 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,410 - Who won? - Nick, Nick won. 267 00:10:27,911 --> 00:10:29,329 Nick's always winning. 268 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,122 Ooh! 269 00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:32,707 Gwen. - Hey. 270 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,711 Did you know that Grant is like desperate for you to take the summer school job? 271 00:10:36,794 --> 00:10:39,714 He said he'd take us all out for seafood if you do it. 272 00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:42,008 Dude, seafood includes shrimp. You realize that, right? 273 00:10:42,091 --> 00:10:45,929 - Yeah, you have to do it. - Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of considering it. 274 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,597 No, you're not. What are you talking about? 275 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,933 - We're traveling this summer. - Are you really? 276 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,643 - Yeah. - They're very vague plans to travel. 277 00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,354 We don't know where we're going or when. It could be like a weekend trip. 278 00:10:54,437 --> 00:10:55,688 - To Berlin? - Yeah. 279 00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:59,234 - What are you talking about right now? - Malcolm, I-I-I have to consider this. 280 00:10:59,317 --> 00:11:00,318 It's extra money. 281 00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:03,404 Okay, Dan Bilzerian, like what, are you obsessed with money right now? 282 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,489 I'm not obsessed with money. 283 00:11:04,572 --> 00:11:08,201 I would just like to be able to, like, buy my own house or apartment someday. 284 00:11:08,284 --> 00:11:10,203 - Your own apartment? - Where am I gonna live? 285 00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,413 I have money. Like, I don't know why you're stressing. 286 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:13,623 I'm flush with cash right now. 287 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,416 We can talk about the summer school thing later. 288 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,752 I'm barely considering it, so this is a nonissue. 289 00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:19,212 Yay. 290 00:11:19,837 --> 00:11:20,838 Yay. 291 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,134 Malcolm, how much money do you have? 292 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,095 Because I have some really smart commercial 293 00:11:27,178 --> 00:11:29,347 real estate investments that are lining up. 294 00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:35,603 Right there. And then we come around. 295 00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:38,439 Such a grand space they got for this this year. 296 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:39,857 They? I'm they. 297 00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:42,360 Huh? I pull off a cap and gown, don't I? 298 00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:45,572 Look at this guy looking like a… like a freakin'… 299 00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:47,532 like a… like… 300 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,450 Shit. Too stressed. 301 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,578 I'm normally really good with insult comedy. 302 00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:53,830 - I need a cigarette. Okay, good. We're good. 303 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,123 - Hey, Grant. - Yeah? 304 00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:56,791 Gwen and I were wondering if we could 305 00:11:56,874 --> 00:11:59,752 sit on stage with the other staff during the ceremony? 306 00:11:59,836 --> 00:12:01,045 Why? 307 00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:03,798 We want to help out Clay with his speech, like for moral support. 308 00:12:03,881 --> 00:12:05,466 Evan, Evan, no, we talked… 309 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,802 You know what? Fine, fine. You want to sit up there? Fine. 310 00:12:07,885 --> 00:12:09,429 Rick, we'll need two more chairs onstage. 311 00:12:11,681 --> 00:12:14,017 So what do you think? Is this proposal happening? 312 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,520 He's here. He's got a whole plan, man. It's happening. 313 00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:19,981 She's making a mistake to marry Nick, right? 314 00:12:20,732 --> 00:12:23,234 Do you feel that? Like, if he makes her happy, great, okay? 315 00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:25,361 I'm all for that. But what if I make her happy? 316 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,406 Like, I have to tell her how I feel, and, like, the clock is ticking. 317 00:12:28,489 --> 00:12:32,035 - It is kind of now or never, so… - Are you saying that 318 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,870 - 'cause you think she loves me? - Definitely not. 319 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,872 I'm almost positive she doesn't. 320 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,208 - Okay. - But look, you're at a crossroads. 321 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:44,172 You either need to tell her how you feel, or let it be too late to ever do so. 322 00:12:45,048 --> 00:12:46,341 So just think about it. 323 00:12:46,424 --> 00:12:48,676 - You do look cute in that cap. - Mm-hmm. 324 00:12:50,094 --> 00:12:53,806 It's been a fantastic four years here at Morrison-Hensley. 325 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,478 And now without further ado, I'm proud to introduce 326 00:12:58,561 --> 00:13:01,939 - this year's senior commencement orator. - Oh, God. Here we go. 327 00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:04,651 You all know him. You all voted for him. Clay Connolly! 328 00:13:07,028 --> 00:13:08,404 He's gonna get Carrie'd. 329 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,198 There's probably pig blood up there. 330 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,544 "A student body is… 331 00:13:24,295 --> 00:13:30,176 mmm… is much like a flower with… uh, with petty metals." 332 00:13:31,219 --> 00:13:33,388 No, "with… with many petals." 333 00:13:33,471 --> 00:13:35,098 He can't even read what we wrote for him. 334 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,557 "Each… Each, uh…" 335 00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:41,020 Okay, uh, this-this, yeah, this speech sucks. 336 00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:47,443 Mr. Marquez and Ms. Sanders basically wrote it for me and forced me to read it. 337 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,070 Sorry, that's not true. 338 00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:51,072 Sit down, Mr. Marquez. 339 00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:54,158 - Sit down? - Hell yeah, Clay. 340 00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:55,368 Why are you always trying to help? 341 00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:56,828 Why are you… 342 00:13:56,911 --> 00:14:00,498 Has anyone… Has anyone ever asked you to help, huh? 343 00:14:00,998 --> 00:14:02,667 You're not the president, chief. 344 00:14:05,336 --> 00:14:06,963 Act-Actually, no, you know what? 345 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,882 You… You are the president. Congratulations. 346 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:13,302 You've been elected as president of pissing me off. 347 00:14:15,805 --> 00:14:17,348 What is going on? 348 00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:19,183 He just fucking roasted your ass. 349 00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:20,435 Yeah, okay. Let's keep doing this. 350 00:14:20,977 --> 00:14:22,478 - Now Ms. Sanders. - Oh. 351 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,898 Ms. Sanders wants people to like her so badly. 352 00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,651 - She's one of these, uh, people pleasers. 353 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,987 I'll tell you how you can please people, Ms. Sanders. 354 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,864 By not looking like a fucking poodle. 355 00:14:32,947 --> 00:14:35,658 - [students laughing, cheering] Honestly, 356 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,745 how many times can one woman get norovirus, huh? 357 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,413 How does he know about that? 358 00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:41,581 We have to stop this. 359 00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:42,665 He is bullying us. 360 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,292 There is no stopping him now. 361 00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:47,295 He's got the mob on his side, they're, like, whipped up into a frenzy. 362 00:14:47,378 --> 00:14:48,796 Knock 'em dead, Clay! 363 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,881 Let's see. Let's see. Who we got here? 364 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:53,426 Hillridge! Coach Hillridge. Big tough guy. 365 00:14:53,509 --> 00:14:55,970 You know, the reason he never fought in the army is 366 00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:59,348 because he was medically declared the world's biggest pussy. 367 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,767 - Lame. 368 00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:03,478 - This sucks! - Lighten up. 369 00:15:03,561 --> 00:15:05,313 Yeah, Rick. Wait till he comes for you. 370 00:15:05,396 --> 00:15:07,440 I helped this kid get into Emory. He's not coming for me. 371 00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:08,858 And now, Mr. Santana. 372 00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,026 Oh, fuck. 373 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,695 How about you get yourself into college for a change, yeah? 374 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,280 It's a brand-new college. 375 00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:15,364 Brand new. 376 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,659 The University of Gray Haired Little Bitches. 377 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:20,870 Dude, you were my boy. 378 00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,455 Seniors, we out! 379 00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,252 We certainly didn't expect anything like that. 380 00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:30,004 But what a captivating speech nonetheless. 381 00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:31,881 Hey, eat a dick, Professor X. 382 00:15:32,924 --> 00:15:34,509 That's not okay, Clay. 383 00:15:34,592 --> 00:15:36,511 All right, moving on. 384 00:15:36,594 --> 00:15:39,806 …"your passion and your belief in us. The future is unwritten"… 385 00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:42,266 I used to think it was "Valevictorian." 386 00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:45,478 Like with a V. Guess that's why I wasn't Valevictorian. 387 00:15:49,106 --> 00:15:51,317 Gwen, I have to tell you something. 388 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,485 What's up? 389 00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:54,737 I have to do this now, or I'll never do it, you know. 390 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,531 - Yeah, okay. - It's very awkward to say, 391 00:15:56,614 --> 00:15:58,032 and it's very awkward to talk about… 392 00:15:58,115 --> 00:15:59,158 - Gwen. - Yeah. 393 00:16:00,368 --> 00:16:01,744 Coach. Coach! - I have feelings… 394 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:02,870 - What? What? You're up. 395 00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:04,789 - You're up. Yes, go, go, go. - Now? 396 00:16:04,872 --> 00:16:06,541 - Yeah. - It's okay. Tell me later. 397 00:16:09,919 --> 00:16:10,920 Yeah. 398 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,923 - Rick, clap. - For this piece of shit? 399 00:16:17,134 --> 00:16:20,429 And now, the names of your graduating seniors. 400 00:16:21,055 --> 00:16:23,558 - Gwen, I have to tell you something too. - Yeah. 401 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,102 This shade of lipstick on you doesn't work. 402 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,186 Okay. 403 00:16:30,481 --> 00:16:32,066 Becca Yates. 404 00:16:37,655 --> 00:16:40,908 And that is your Morrison-Hensley graduating class. 405 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,829 Whoo! 406 00:16:46,247 --> 00:16:49,000 Uh, wait, it appears I forgot one name. 407 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:55,798 Uh, is there a student here who goes by William Ulysses Marryme? 408 00:16:57,383 --> 00:17:02,054 He apparently goes by a shorter name, uh, "Will U. Marryme?" 409 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:04,891 That's me! 410 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,769 Excuse me. Sorry. I'm Sorry. 411 00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,104 What is he doing? 412 00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:13,941 Gwen, just know that I'm here for you, okay? 413 00:17:14,025 --> 00:17:15,234 Shit. 414 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,240 - Is this happening? 415 00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:24,535 Hi, everyone. Uh, my real name is Nick. 416 00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:30,291 You may know me better as the boyfriend of Ms. Sanders, or as I call her Gwen. 417 00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:33,419 - Come here. - Oh. 418 00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:39,926 - Oh. Oh, okay, all right. - You can put them down. 419 00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:45,723 Holy shit. 420 00:17:45,806 --> 00:17:48,392 Gwendolyn Violet Sanders… 421 00:17:48,976 --> 00:17:49,977 Wow, wow, wow. 422 00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:53,022 …will you do me the honor of helping graduate from boyfriend 423 00:17:54,023 --> 00:17:55,232 to husband? 424 00:17:57,485 --> 00:17:59,236 What you got there? Oh, it's a ring. 425 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,529 - Nice. - Gwen, 426 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:02,823 will you marry me? 427 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,959 Yes. 428 00:18:13,042 --> 00:18:14,460 - She said yes! 429 00:18:14,543 --> 00:18:15,795 We're getting married! 430 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,180 Shit. Sorry, sorry. I need that cap back. 431 00:18:26,263 --> 00:18:28,724 It's a rental, so it's, like, a huge fee if I don't return it. 432 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,894 Happy graduation, Mr. Marquez. 433 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,980 Well, Mr. Marquez, can I pen-pal you? 434 00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:35,439 Is MySpace still a thing for you guys? 435 00:18:35,523 --> 00:18:37,775 I can send you update emails about my life in Haiti. 436 00:18:37,858 --> 00:18:40,987 - Haiti. I thought you're going to Kuwait. - To help the children. 437 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,781 Oh. By the way, Mr. Marquez, I wanna thank you for all the help. 438 00:18:43,864 --> 00:18:46,033 Everyone keeps coming up to me. They loved my speech. 439 00:18:46,117 --> 00:18:47,368 Clay, what are you talking about? 440 00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:50,705 You roasted me and my fellow teachers in front of the entire school. 441 00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:51,789 You embarrassed us. 442 00:18:51,872 --> 00:18:53,207 You know, I didn't really mean it, right? 443 00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:54,709 It was all just for laughs. 444 00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:56,002 We only roast the ones we love. 445 00:18:56,085 --> 00:18:58,170 "We roast the ones we love." That's not a real phrase. 446 00:18:58,254 --> 00:18:59,296 - Oh. Ugh. 447 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,007 You know what, actually, I don't even care. 448 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,800 'Cause you're not my student anymore. 449 00:19:02,883 --> 00:19:03,884 So… 450 00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,226 Oh, that's kind of sad, isn't it? You're not my student anymore. 451 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,228 None of you are. 452 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,108 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. I, uh… 453 00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:23,446 I… I guess I'm just realizing I'm gonna miss you guys. 454 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,364 - We're gonna miss you too. - We're gonna miss you too, Mr. Marquez. 455 00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,741 I'll follow you on Facebook. 456 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,534 What time is it, Markie? 457 00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:30,619 5:03 p.m. 458 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,538 All right. Three minutes into quitting time. 459 00:19:32,621 --> 00:19:33,873 Thank you so much. 460 00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,083 That's you. That's you. 461 00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:39,712 Another wonderful year on the books, hey, guys? 462 00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:40,838 Cheers. 463 00:19:40,921 --> 00:19:42,506 It was a great year, you know. 464 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:46,552 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm gonna miss these fucking kids. 465 00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:47,803 So actually, Grant. 466 00:19:48,304 --> 00:19:50,681 I-I think I will take that summer school position. 467 00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:52,141 - You will? - Yeah. 468 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,685 Oh! Yes, thank you, Evan. 469 00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:56,771 Those fuck-up summer school kids are gonna be so lucky to have you. 470 00:19:56,854 --> 00:19:58,355 You really are letting loose. 471 00:19:58,439 --> 00:20:00,149 Summer time, baby. 472 00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:03,527 We're gonna have so much fun. Those rooms, they get so hot. 473 00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:05,488 And you'll meet the skunk with rabies. 474 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:07,531 - Oscar. Oh. 475 00:20:07,615 --> 00:20:08,824 - Malcolm? - I'll call him later. 476 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,534 Is Malcolm gonna be okay with you doing summer school? 477 00:20:10,618 --> 00:20:13,788 Yeah, I'll talk to him tonight. I'm sure it's fine. 478 00:20:13,871 --> 00:20:15,915 I can't take it anymore. I got to be honest. 479 00:20:15,998 --> 00:20:18,000 Grant offered me the vice principal job, all right? 480 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,711 - What? On purpose? - That's great. 481 00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:23,089 - No, it's not great. - It's okay. They're happy for you. 482 00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,256 You don't have to be humble. 483 00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:25,382 Grant, you don't get it. 484 00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:27,760 I thought about your offer, and I officially decline. 485 00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:30,721 All this extra work I've been doing all year, this isn't me. 486 00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,223 My passion is business. 487 00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:36,102 I can't be putting all my energy into "school." Like, what the fuck is that? 488 00:20:36,185 --> 00:20:39,355 You realize that the position comes with a considerable raise? 489 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,066 Look, big dogs, sometimes you gotta lose money to make money. 490 00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:43,692 That's why I lose so much money. 491 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,985 You guys are idiots. 492 00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:47,321 All right, well, I can't say I'm not disappointed, 493 00:20:47,404 --> 00:20:49,240 but you take care of yourself, all right? 494 00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:50,783 I'll take it. I'll take it. 495 00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:51,909 Position will remain empty. 496 00:20:51,992 --> 00:20:54,537 Hey, Professor X. Come get us! - Are those… Are those kids? 497 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,621 Are they still here? 498 00:20:55,704 --> 00:20:57,414 Son of a bitch, little animals. 499 00:20:57,498 --> 00:20:59,708 - You've graduated. Go home! 500 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,669 So how are you feeling about the proposal? 501 00:21:01,752 --> 00:21:04,171 Um. - Excited? 502 00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:07,341 Did I expect him to propose right now? No. 503 00:21:07,424 --> 00:21:10,052 D-Do I want to marry him? Yes. 504 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,847 And then it's like, how am I feeling in this moment? 505 00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,306 Really good. 506 00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:16,350 Yeah, for sure. 507 00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:18,477 It's not like I… I don't want to marry Nick, 508 00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:21,105 but like I felt like I did have to say yes. 509 00:21:21,188 --> 00:21:22,189 Well, you didn't have to. 510 00:21:22,273 --> 00:21:23,357 What choice did I have? 511 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,317 I'm going to ruin graduation? I'm gonna say no? 512 00:21:25,401 --> 00:21:29,280 I'm gonna embarrass Nick after he did so much for me? 513 00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:30,698 - Right. Thank you, by the way, 514 00:21:30,781 --> 00:21:32,825 for helping him set it up. 515 00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:34,201 Mr. Helpful, you know me. 516 00:21:34,285 --> 00:21:37,163 And thank you for trying to warn me earlier. 517 00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:38,664 That's what you were doing onstage, right? 518 00:21:39,790 --> 00:21:40,833 - Yeah. Oh, shit. 519 00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:41,917 Nick's texting me. 520 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,962 He's saying that they're not letting him return the cap and gown. 521 00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:46,422 He has a stain on it? 522 00:21:46,922 --> 00:21:47,965 Okay, now he's calling me. 523 00:21:48,048 --> 00:21:50,718 Hey, so at what point were you eating sriracha? 524 00:21:50,801 --> 00:21:51,802 Hey, hey. 525 00:21:51,886 --> 00:21:54,513 Oh, my God, dude, she's got doubts. 526 00:21:54,597 --> 00:21:55,598 You heard that, right? 527 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,850 Looks like today turned out pretty freaking well for me. 528 00:21:57,933 --> 00:21:59,393 - My guy… What? 529 00:21:59,476 --> 00:22:02,605 …just because she doesn't like her fiancé doesn't mean she does like you. 530 00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:04,773 We're just gonna have to wait and see, right? 531 00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:06,901 Huh? 532 00:22:06,984 --> 00:22:07,985 Yeah. 533 00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:10,279 Malcolm! 534 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:11,447 I'm back. 535 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:39,934 Hey, I just read the note too, and I'm really sorry. 536 00:22:44,104 --> 00:22:46,565 But Malcolm wants me to go with him to Berlin. 537 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,860 The-The-The ticket has my name on it.