1 00:00:15,684 --> 00:00:18,086 I was once happy, content, 2 00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:21,222 sloshing around in my own private, primordial pool. 3 00:00:21,223 --> 00:00:23,920 Then one day, for reasons beyond my control, 4 00:00:23,921 --> 00:00:25,579 I was repeatedly crushed... 5 00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:30,615 over and over by the cruel cervix of my mother, Leslie. 6 00:00:31,835 --> 00:00:34,735 I put up a good fight, but I lost, 7 00:00:34,736 --> 00:00:37,450 for the first time, but not the last. 8 00:00:41,943 --> 00:00:45,362 - I was born three days after 9/11. 9 00:00:45,363 --> 00:00:48,374 GEORGE W.I can hear you... I can hear you, 10 00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:50,384 the rest of the world hears you, 11 00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:53,213 and the people who knocked these buildings down 12 00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:54,814 will hear all of us soon. 13 00:00:54,815 --> 00:00:57,558 USA! USA! 14 00:00:57,559 --> 00:00:59,460 - USA! USA! 15 00:01:03,112 --> 00:01:06,020 My mother and father spent two days in the hospital, 16 00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,660 holding me under the soft glow of the television, 17 00:01:08,661 --> 00:01:11,629 watching those towers fall over and over again, 18 00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:14,253 until the feelings of grief gave way to numbness. 19 00:01:14,895 --> 00:01:16,695 And then, without warning, 20 00:01:16,696 --> 00:01:19,297 a middle-class childhood in an American suburb. 21 00:01:19,298 --> 00:01:22,467 Thirteen... fourteen... 22 00:01:22,468 --> 00:01:25,512 fifteen... sixteen... 23 00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:27,264 - What are you looking at, Rue? - Seventeen... 24 00:01:27,265 --> 00:01:28,638 Rue, look at me. 25 00:01:30,519 --> 00:01:35,653 One, two, three... What are you doing, Rue? 26 00:01:42,094 --> 00:01:45,137 I'd say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder... 27 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,490 It's not like I was physically abused... 28 00:01:46,491 --> 00:01:47,723 attention deficit disorder... 29 00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:49,010 or had a shortage of clean water... 30 00:01:49,011 --> 00:01:50,026 general anxiety disorder... 31 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,694 or was molested by a family member. 32 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,491 and possibly bipolar disorder. 33 00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:55,714 - But she's a little young to tell. 34 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,795 So, explain this shit to me. 35 00:01:57,796 --> 00:02:00,046 Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired. 36 00:02:00,047 --> 00:02:02,216 Plenty of great, intelligent, 37 00:02:02,217 --> 00:02:04,300 funny, interesting, and creative people 38 00:02:04,301 --> 00:02:06,636 have struggled with the same things you struggle with. 39 00:02:06,637 --> 00:02:08,846 Like who? 40 00:02:08,847 --> 00:02:10,932 Uh... 41 00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:12,503 Vincent Van Gogh. 42 00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:16,163 Sylvia Plath. 43 00:02:16,164 --> 00:02:19,466 And your favorite: Britney Spears. 44 00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:21,818 She's bald! Oh, my God! 45 00:02:21,819 --> 00:02:24,120 She is completely bald! 46 00:02:25,577 --> 00:02:26,766 I don't remember much 47 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,910 between the ages of eight and 12. 48 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,812 Just that the world moved fast and my brain moved slow. 49 00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:36,115 Okay, does anybody have any idea of what a preposition might be? 50 00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:40,415 And every now and then, if I focused 51 00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:42,606 too closely on the way I breathed... 52 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,196 - ... I'd die. 53 00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:55,076 Slow down, just breathe. 54 00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:57,147 Until every second of every day, 55 00:02:57,148 --> 00:03:00,025 you find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety. 56 00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:06,782 What's wrong, Rue? 57 00:03:07,381 --> 00:03:08,591 And quite frankly... 58 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:11,934 I'm just fucking exhausted. 59 00:03:11,935 --> 00:03:13,402 You said the doctor was in our network. 60 00:03:13,403 --> 00:03:15,737 How could he suddenly be out of network? 61 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,273 I can't afford it. 62 00:03:18,274 --> 00:03:20,442 Did you see that video of the beauty queen 63 00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:22,211 who got acid thrown on her face? 64 00:03:22,212 --> 00:03:25,147 - Mm, uh, what? No. - It's pretty fucked up. 65 00:03:25,148 --> 00:03:28,345 - Hey, Mom, you got any tampons? - In my bathroom, under the sink. 66 00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:31,352 And at some point, you make a choice 67 00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:34,089 about who you are and what you want. 68 00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:40,955 Oh, my... 69 00:03:55,522 --> 00:03:57,345 All right, Gia, let's roll. 70 00:03:57,346 --> 00:03:59,713 Why is the co-payment $300? 71 00:03:59,714 --> 00:04:02,073 Rue, did you eat breakfast? 72 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,522 What's with the sunglasses? 73 00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:11,913 - What sunglasses? 74 00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:25,541 I just showed up one day, without a map or a compass... 75 00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:27,486 Attention, students, we need to lockdown. 76 00:04:27,487 --> 00:04:29,329 or to be honest, anyone capable 77 00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,700 of giving on iota of good fucking advice. 78 00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:39,249 And I know it all may seem sad, but guess what? 79 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:43,862 I didn't build this system, nor did I fuck it up. 80 00:05:09,115 --> 00:05:11,181 And then it happens. 81 00:05:11,638 --> 00:05:14,189 That moment when your breath starts to slow. 82 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,541 And every time you breathe, 83 00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:24,442 you breathe out all the oxygen you have. 84 00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:29,616 And everything stops: 85 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:33,136 your heart, your lungs, 86 00:05:33,995 --> 00:05:35,747 then finally, your brain. 87 00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:42,371 And everything you feel, and wish, and want to forget, 88 00:05:42,372 --> 00:05:43,811 it all just sinks. 89 00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:49,511 And then suddenly... 90 00:05:56,018 --> 00:05:59,920 you give it air again, give it life again. 91 00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:06,874 I remember the first time it happened to me, 92 00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:09,421 I got so scared I wanted to call 911. 93 00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:13,260 Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. 94 00:06:15,852 --> 00:06:17,953 But I didn't want to look like an idiot, 95 00:06:18,373 --> 00:06:20,324 and I didn't want to fuck up everyone's night. 96 00:06:23,203 --> 00:06:26,314 And then over time, it's all I wanted... 97 00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,533 Those two seconds of nothingness. 98 00:06:51,449 --> 00:07:01,449 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 99 00:07:19,284 --> 00:07:23,102 I spent a good portion of the summer before junior year 100 00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:24,554 in rehab. 101 00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:30,631 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 102 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:33,891 the courage to change the things I can, 103 00:07:33,892 --> 00:07:36,048 and the wisdom to know the difference. 104 00:07:50,981 --> 00:07:52,698 Rue! 105 00:07:52,699 --> 00:07:55,712 Come here! Hey. 106 00:07:55,713 --> 00:07:57,869 How are you? Good. 107 00:07:57,870 --> 00:08:00,491 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 108 00:08:00,492 --> 00:08:02,853 - Look at you. Are you growing? - No. 109 00:08:04,028 --> 00:08:05,110 Hey! 110 00:08:14,184 --> 00:08:16,027 I'm very happy for you, Rue. 111 00:08:18,607 --> 00:08:21,121 You're about to start a brand-new chapter. 112 00:08:44,746 --> 00:08:47,948 It was the end of summer, the week before school started. 113 00:08:51,484 --> 00:08:53,585 I had no intention of staying clean. 114 00:08:53,586 --> 00:08:55,877 And Jules had just moved to town. 115 00:09:06,823 --> 00:09:10,388 There's some new girl in town that I think you gonna be friends with. 116 00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:13,209 Who? - Shit, I don't know. 117 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:17,201 She came in yesterday lookin' all Sailor Moon and shit. 118 00:09:17,202 --> 00:09:19,110 I'm thinking to myself, like, 119 00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:21,748 look like somebody Rue would get along with. 120 00:09:22,407 --> 00:09:25,075 Which was sort of like a dead-on observation for Fezco, 121 00:09:25,076 --> 00:09:28,271 who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth. 122 00:09:30,742 --> 00:09:32,825 So, how long you been back? 123 00:09:32,826 --> 00:09:34,626 - Five days. - And like, 124 00:09:34,627 --> 00:09:36,601 - how you feelin'? - I mean, 125 00:09:36,602 --> 00:09:39,631 ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, 126 00:09:39,632 --> 00:09:41,232 things have been, like, really good. 127 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:44,185 - Word? That's what's up. - Yeah. 128 00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:46,179 I'm fucking with you, Fez. 129 00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:47,605 - It was a joke. - Shit. 130 00:09:47,606 --> 00:09:50,541 - Hey, I don't judge. 131 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:52,477 Uh, but low-key, is Ashtray in the back? 132 00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:53,978 Are you serious? 133 00:09:53,979 --> 00:09:56,247 What, you think 'cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean? 134 00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:58,367 I mean, ain't that the point? 135 00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:01,452 Yeah, well, the world's coming to an end, 136 00:10:01,453 --> 00:10:04,373 and I haven't even graduated high school yet. 137 00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:15,860 I thought your ass was dead. 138 00:10:15,861 --> 00:10:18,502 I thought you had Asperger's till I realized you're just a prick. 139 00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:20,888 This is a fickle industry. Y'all come and go. 140 00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:24,126 I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage. 141 00:10:24,127 --> 00:10:25,945 So what the fuck you want? 142 00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:32,281 You sure you don't want to try nothin' new? 143 00:10:32,282 --> 00:10:36,196 - Like what? - 2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, 144 00:10:36,197 --> 00:10:38,038 and 5-MeO-DIPT. 145 00:10:38,039 --> 00:10:40,457 I'm sorry, I have zero fucking idea what you just said. 146 00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:41,925 It doesn't matter. 147 00:10:41,926 --> 00:10:44,828 But this shit is fucking lit. 148 00:10:44,829 --> 00:10:46,229 What is it? 149 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,098 N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. 150 00:10:49,099 --> 00:10:51,312 It's a fast-acting psychedelic. 151 00:10:52,355 --> 00:10:54,788 Got some similarities to LSD, 152 00:10:54,789 --> 00:10:57,001 but with, like, key differences. 153 00:10:57,986 --> 00:10:59,619 Not as visual and shit, 154 00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:02,862 but definitely a sense distorter. 155 00:11:06,835 --> 00:11:09,618 What's wrong? 156 00:11:09,619 --> 00:11:13,222 I'm just so happy. 157 00:11:13,223 --> 00:11:15,425 I don't know. The shit's been blowing up in Tampa, 158 00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,510 and mad people like to fuck on it. 159 00:11:18,213 --> 00:11:19,732 Okay. Yeah. 160 00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:21,864 That'll be 120. 161 00:11:21,865 --> 00:11:24,500 - Uh, Fez said he'd spot me. - Fezco don't spot nobody. 162 00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:26,068 Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, 163 00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:27,369 - so you should ask him. - I will go ask him, 164 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:28,955 'cause I know you're full of shit. 165 00:11:40,675 --> 00:11:42,729 In truth, I didn't have much of an issue 166 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:45,215 with Nate until all the bullshit with Jules. 167 00:11:45,216 --> 00:11:48,785 I mean, I never liked him, and once, during freshman formal, 168 00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:52,133 he tried to finger me on the dance floor without my permission. 169 00:11:52,134 --> 00:11:55,107 - But like... it's America. 170 00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,083 And if they were throwing an end-of-summer party... 171 00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,273 Yo, I'd do it for Rue! 172 00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:03,101 of course I'd fucking go. 173 00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:06,124 Yo. The whole world's gonna be talking about 174 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:09,412 how McKay threw the grimiest fucking banger of the summer. 175 00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:11,812 I don't know, bro. You know my mom is real OCD. 176 00:12:11,813 --> 00:12:14,152 She notices the smallest shit: a little scratch on the wall, 177 00:12:14,153 --> 00:12:15,308 the dishes are out of order. 178 00:12:15,309 --> 00:12:16,893 Fine. We'll just take a picture of everything, 179 00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:18,708 and we'll put it back the way we found it. 180 00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:20,989 What the fuck is this, Mission Impossible? 181 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,057 Would you stop worrying about your mom, 182 00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:24,892 and start worrying about all the fucking pussy 183 00:12:24,893 --> 00:12:26,460 that we're gonna smash tonight, bro. 184 00:12:26,461 --> 00:12:29,796 No, no, no, no, no. Wait. Isn't Maddy coming tonight? 185 00:12:29,797 --> 00:12:31,598 I don't know. 186 00:12:31,599 --> 00:12:33,967 I don't give a fuck. She broke up with me. Fuck her. 187 00:12:33,968 --> 00:12:36,336 See, no, bro. 'Cause she's crazy. 188 00:12:36,337 --> 00:12:39,239 I don't want her to come and try to burn my house down. 189 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,707 - Burn your... - Yeah. 190 00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:42,809 Shut the fuck up. 191 00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:46,179 Yo. This is exactly what I'm talking about. 192 00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,268 Right here. I'm gonna tell you something... 193 00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:50,507 - Nate, don't do anything stupid. Come on. - Yeah, yeah. 194 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,504 Hey, yo, what up, B? 195 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,056 Yo, how 'bout you come and ride on this dick? 196 00:12:56,057 --> 00:12:59,010 - No, Nate, chill, bro! Come on man. 197 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,263 - What the fuck, bro. 198 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,301 Whoops. 199 00:13:12,464 --> 00:13:14,555 Jules moved from the city to the suburbs 200 00:13:14,556 --> 00:13:16,633 after her mom and dad got divorced. 201 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,318 She doesn't really like to talk about it, 202 00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:24,356 but dads almost never get full custody, 203 00:13:24,357 --> 00:13:26,593 so you know some shit definitely went down. 204 00:13:29,304 --> 00:13:32,031 She went to, like, three weeks of summer school with Kat, 205 00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:34,726 who failed Intro to Visual Arts. 206 00:14:40,612 --> 00:14:43,862 - Do you think my areolas look weird? No. 207 00:14:43,863 --> 00:14:45,505 But, like, the edges, though. 208 00:14:46,993 --> 00:14:48,033 Maddy, they're fine. 209 00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:49,501 Fine like they're kind of weird, or fine like 210 00:14:49,502 --> 00:14:51,803 nobody but me would ever notice what I notice? 211 00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:54,004 BB: Fine like shut the fuck up, Maddy. 212 00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:56,924 I'm disgusting. I literally look disgusting. 213 00:14:56,925 --> 00:14:59,894 Maddy, you just snap the fuck out of this. You're hot as fuck. 214 00:14:59,895 --> 00:15:02,813 - Nate's a loser. Who cares? - He's not a loser. He's a dick. 215 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,782 All dicks are losers. Duh. 216 00:15:04,783 --> 00:15:07,918 Look, bottom line: y'all need to walk into this party 217 00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:09,987 like your pussy costs a million dollars. 218 00:15:09,988 --> 00:15:12,223 For real, I'd settle for like fifty grand. 219 00:15:12,224 --> 00:15:13,791 Fifty grand is a million dollars. 220 00:15:13,792 --> 00:15:16,060 I'd settle for, like, four Corona Lights 221 00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,562 and some non-rapey affection. 222 00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:19,163 - That's kind of depressing. Nate's just, 223 00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:21,332 like, totally ruined my confidence. 224 00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,401 You know when somebody just constantly criticizes, 225 00:15:23,402 --> 00:15:25,102 like, everything about you? 226 00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:26,691 Yep. That's, like, every guy. 227 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,939 You just need to catch a dick and forget about your troubles. 228 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,574 Girl, you just need to catch a dick. 229 00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:32,776 Seriously, Maddy, the best thing to do after a breakup 230 00:15:32,777 --> 00:15:34,899 is to fuck someone new, and then move on. 231 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,214 BB: Please, Kat, remind me again how many guys you've fucked? 232 00:15:37,215 --> 00:15:40,434 And, um, oh, yeah, cat-fishing, that don't count. 233 00:15:40,837 --> 00:15:43,268 Can you not be a cunt for like, 15 seconds? 234 00:15:44,272 --> 00:15:46,095 What are we doing for dinner? - Dad, stop being a pervert! 235 00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:48,692 - We're literally, like, all naked! 236 00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,454 Fuck. 237 00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:03,390 Okay. 238 00:16:06,262 --> 00:16:08,111 - Where were you? I went to eat. 239 00:16:08,112 --> 00:16:10,513 - What do you mean, you went to eat? - What? 240 00:16:10,514 --> 00:16:13,116 What? Don't walk away from me. 241 00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:14,951 You know what, Rue? I don't trust you. 242 00:16:14,952 --> 00:16:16,553 I don't know what you want me to say. 243 00:16:16,554 --> 00:16:18,239 I want you to tell me where you were. 244 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,624 - I just said I went to fucking eat! - Don't you talk to me like that! 245 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,517 You know what? I'm gonna drug test you. 246 00:16:22,518 --> 00:16:24,653 - Don't be slamming no doors around here. - It was an accident. 247 00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:27,664 I don't care. You're not leaving this house until you take a drug test. 248 00:16:27,665 --> 00:16:29,666 I just peed! 249 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,210 Slam another door. 250 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:34,989 That girl's gonna be the death of me. 251 00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:43,480 Shit. 252 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:46,180 Now, there's a few ways to beat a drug test. 253 00:16:46,181 --> 00:16:48,810 The first is simple. Stop doing drugs. 254 00:16:48,811 --> 00:16:51,333 But if you're in a bind and totally fucked, 255 00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,773 option one: niacin. 256 00:16:53,774 --> 00:16:55,776 It's a B vitamin that, like, 257 00:16:55,777 --> 00:16:58,068 breaks down fat and chemicals or whatever, 258 00:16:58,069 --> 00:17:01,197 and if you take a lot of it, like 2,000 milligrams, 259 00:17:01,198 --> 00:17:02,790 then chug a few gallons of water, 260 00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:05,060 you can flush your system in two to three days. 261 00:17:05,061 --> 00:17:07,746 The only problem is, it has a few side effects. 262 00:17:07,747 --> 00:17:10,065 Skin flushing, extreme dizziness, vomiting, 263 00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:12,445 rapid heartbeat, and sometimes death. 264 00:17:13,415 --> 00:17:16,672 I don't recommend it. Nor does any legit drug site on the Internet. 265 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,701 Option 2: synthetic urine. 266 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,873 Yeah, fucking right. 267 00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:27,105 Option 3: get a non-drug addict friend to piss for you. 268 00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:31,735 - The only problem is... 269 00:17:31,736 --> 00:17:34,306 most over-the-counter home drug testing kits 270 00:17:34,307 --> 00:17:35,942 come with a heat-sensor strip 271 00:17:35,943 --> 00:17:37,872 that detects the temperature of your urine. 272 00:17:37,873 --> 00:17:40,289 And if your parents watch you pee, 273 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,223 you can't really do the sink trick. 274 00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:47,591 - So you gotta get it fresh. 275 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,577 Hey, Rue. 276 00:17:50,578 --> 00:17:53,547 - Hey, I, um... I need a favor. - What? 277 00:17:53,548 --> 00:17:57,697 - I... like for real, Lexi. - What? 278 00:17:59,114 --> 00:18:03,369 - Side effects of this option? - Are you serious? 279 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,769 Please. 280 00:18:08,013 --> 00:18:09,913 Thanks. 281 00:18:11,818 --> 00:18:14,468 Hey, Rue. 282 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,697 How was rehab? 283 00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:18,818 Shit. 284 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,480 It was good. It was really, really good. - Well, that's good. 285 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,481 - How long have you been back? - Five days. 286 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,033 Oh. 287 00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:33,553 - New chapter. - Mom. 288 00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:35,016 Hmm? 289 00:18:36,068 --> 00:18:38,653 Lexi and I have known each other since pre-school. 290 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:42,163 And like, in some ways she's my best friend, 291 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,242 even though I think we've grown apart. 292 00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:46,412 We don't really have much in common anymore. 293 00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:51,570 Did you m... meet any cute guys there? 294 00:18:51,571 --> 00:18:54,473 Here's that eyeliner. - Thanks. 295 00:18:54,474 --> 00:18:56,025 Huh. 296 00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:06,574 Mom, I have to pee! 297 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,487 I wish we could do this in a way 298 00:19:09,488 --> 00:19:12,190 that wasn't a complete invasion of my privacy. 299 00:19:12,191 --> 00:19:15,093 Well, you lost your right to privacy after your overdose. 300 00:19:15,094 --> 00:19:17,843 - That was a mistake. - Don't be flip, Rue. 301 00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,632 Could you... 302 00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:23,018 Thank you. 303 00:19:28,225 --> 00:19:31,509 You don't understand. This was the most frightening moment 304 00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,711 a mother could witness. And Gia... 305 00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:37,782 - Gia, who absolutely idolizes you... - I know, Mom. 306 00:19:37,783 --> 00:19:41,718 To have her find you unconscious... 307 00:19:43,421 --> 00:19:46,141 Can we just... Can we not do this right now, Mom? 308 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,892 Rue? 309 00:19:50,861 --> 00:19:52,229 Rue? 310 00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:57,451 - Rue. 311 00:20:07,529 --> 00:20:10,083 I know a lot of you probably hate me right now, 312 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,597 and I get it. 313 00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:16,809 If I could be a different person, I promise you, I would. 314 00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:22,233 Not because I want it, but because they do. 315 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,971 And therein lies the catch. 316 00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:32,611 I'm sorry... for slamming the door earlier. 317 00:20:36,491 --> 00:20:39,993 It's okay. I forgive you. Come here. 318 00:20:48,369 --> 00:20:50,411 Hey, Mom? - Yeah? 319 00:20:50,412 --> 00:20:52,087 Can I spend the night at Lexi's tonight? 320 00:20:52,088 --> 00:20:53,989 - Yeah, that's fine. - Thanks. 321 00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:55,307 Yeah. 322 00:21:53,432 --> 00:21:54,633 Where you going? 323 00:21:54,634 --> 00:21:58,235 Uh, I don't know. Some party, or something. 324 00:21:59,171 --> 00:22:00,516 Or something? 325 00:22:01,202 --> 00:22:02,642 Dad. 326 00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:08,562 I know. You know, just, new town. Be safe. 327 00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:11,197 - Yeah. I'm fine. - Good. 328 00:22:11,198 --> 00:22:13,299 - Love you. - I love you, too. 329 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:15,485 - Okay. - Have fun. 330 00:22:32,363 --> 00:22:34,656 Jules told me later what had happened. 331 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,193 Looking back on it, 332 00:23:12,194 --> 00:23:15,281 she probably would have just been better off going to McKay's. 333 00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:18,079 But... 334 00:23:47,457 --> 00:23:48,589 Come in. 335 00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:01,332 Yo, so, Cassie's a whore. Fact. 336 00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:04,675 No, she's not. Fact. She's not even that type of girl. 337 00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:07,244 Oh. Have you seen her slut pages, though? 338 00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:09,663 - No. - They're wild, yo. 339 00:24:09,664 --> 00:24:12,643 - She's like a fuckin' freak! Cassie's on the slut pages? 340 00:24:12,644 --> 00:24:14,270 Yo, we gotta see this shit. 341 00:24:14,271 --> 00:24:16,088 Yo, what are y'all even doing out the room, man? 342 00:24:16,089 --> 00:24:17,420 - Go back upstairs, bro. - What? 343 00:24:17,421 --> 00:24:19,722 Thing one and thing two. Take it up, man. 344 00:24:19,723 --> 00:24:22,642 - Take it up. - Relax. No one gets here till ten. 345 00:24:22,643 --> 00:24:23,849 What's up, Nate? 346 00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:25,894 What's good, what's good, good lookin'. 347 00:24:25,895 --> 00:24:29,282 Look, all I'm saying is, I think you did Cassie. That's it. 348 00:24:29,283 --> 00:24:32,385 McKay, whether I like her or not is irrelevant. 349 00:24:32,386 --> 00:24:36,001 The fact is, she's a fucking whore through and through, bro. 350 00:24:36,002 --> 00:24:38,774 All right, look, I don't know what she's done, guys, but I'm just saying, 351 00:24:38,775 --> 00:24:42,078 I think she's cool. She's smart. She's funny. 352 00:24:42,079 --> 00:24:45,748 - Bro, she likes cars, man. 353 00:24:45,749 --> 00:24:48,184 She loves cars. Shit, thank you for telling me. 354 00:24:48,185 --> 00:24:50,492 - What the fuck? Dude's got mad feelings. 355 00:24:50,493 --> 00:24:53,022 For real, yo. McKay's about to start a Pinterest, guys. 356 00:24:53,023 --> 00:24:55,124 Just wait. Give it a minute. 357 00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:58,406 Yo, did you say you don't know what she's done? 358 00:25:02,117 --> 00:25:03,722 No, I don't know. 359 00:25:05,101 --> 00:25:06,852 Take a seat. 360 00:25:06,853 --> 00:25:09,812 You and I are gonna take a little trip to the land of shame, bro. 361 00:25:17,528 --> 00:25:20,570 Here's the fucking thing that pisses me off about the world. 362 00:25:20,571 --> 00:25:23,074 Like, every time someone's shit gets leaked, 363 00:25:23,075 --> 00:25:25,268 whether it's J. Law or Leslie Jones, 364 00:25:25,269 --> 00:25:27,086 the whole world's like, "Well if you don't want it out there, 365 00:25:27,087 --> 00:25:28,997 don't take the nudes in the first place." 366 00:25:28,998 --> 00:25:31,247 I'm sorry. I know your generation 367 00:25:31,248 --> 00:25:33,626 relied on flowers and fathers' permission, 368 00:25:33,627 --> 00:25:36,421 but it's 2019, and unless you're Amish, 369 00:25:36,422 --> 00:25:39,965 nudes are the currency of love, so stop shaming us. 370 00:25:39,966 --> 00:25:42,300 Shame the assholes who create password-protected 371 00:25:42,301 --> 00:25:44,906 online directories of naked, underage girls. 372 00:25:46,389 --> 00:25:48,683 Cassie's actually super sweet. 373 00:25:48,684 --> 00:25:50,602 You remember, like, from earlier. 374 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,750 - Yo, Rue, Rue. - Hey. How you been? 375 00:25:55,751 --> 00:25:57,918 She's just being coy. 376 00:25:57,919 --> 00:26:01,622 'Cause she has a new boyfriend she's head over heels for. 377 00:26:01,623 --> 00:26:04,525 Mom, stop being retarded. He's not my boyfriend. 378 00:26:04,526 --> 00:26:06,600 Oh. Okay! 379 00:26:06,601 --> 00:26:09,440 Who's that handsome young man who came over for dinner last night? 380 00:26:09,441 --> 00:26:12,500 Oh, my God, Mom! Stop! - Christopher McKay. 381 00:26:13,487 --> 00:26:15,269 So, you're dating McKay. 382 00:26:15,270 --> 00:26:18,673 Okay, Mom, I'm literally going to poison you in your sleep. 383 00:26:18,674 --> 00:26:21,592 So, Rue, how was rehab? 384 00:26:22,589 --> 00:26:23,733 Um... 385 00:26:24,613 --> 00:26:27,480 Did you m... meet any cute guys there? 386 00:26:27,481 --> 00:26:30,434 Here's that eyeliner. - Thanks. 387 00:26:31,085 --> 00:26:33,119 But anyway, back to this bullshit. 388 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:37,223 And the Oscar goes to... 389 00:26:37,224 --> 00:26:39,426 Oh! - Shit! 390 00:26:39,427 --> 00:26:41,461 I'm talkin' 'bout, like, tag team. 391 00:26:41,462 --> 00:26:43,930 - That's what I'm saying. Double team. - Like, triple. 392 00:26:43,931 --> 00:26:45,598 With Roy in the front. 393 00:26:45,599 --> 00:26:47,499 You can even tell that that's her, man. 394 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:48,702 It's her, bro. 395 00:26:48,703 --> 00:26:50,201 This is definitely her. Look at her titties. 396 00:26:50,202 --> 00:26:53,172 You want my advice? You fuck her like the whore she is, 397 00:26:53,173 --> 00:26:55,041 you kick her ass to the curb. 398 00:26:55,042 --> 00:26:56,743 If you don't, we will. 399 00:26:56,744 --> 00:26:58,511 Shut your all little virgin asses up, man. 400 00:26:58,512 --> 00:27:00,412 Y'all wouldn't even know what to do with that. 401 00:27:00,413 --> 00:27:03,282 Are you crazy? I just got a tutorial, step-by-step. 402 00:27:04,885 --> 00:27:06,978 It's obvious that Nate got in McKay's head, 403 00:27:06,979 --> 00:27:09,473 because Cassie told Lexi, and Lexi told me, 404 00:27:09,474 --> 00:27:11,275 that the night of the party... 405 00:27:12,844 --> 00:27:14,311 What? 406 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,227 Nothing. 407 00:27:19,084 --> 00:27:21,284 Why do you keep staring at me? 408 00:27:24,789 --> 00:27:28,308 I'm sorry. Kind of spaced out for a second. 409 00:27:28,975 --> 00:27:30,744 I wasn't being weird, was I? 410 00:27:32,490 --> 00:27:34,123 No. You're being cute. 411 00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:39,401 Listen, I don't want to sound corny or whatever, but... 412 00:27:40,905 --> 00:27:43,989 you are literally the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. 413 00:27:43,990 --> 00:27:45,642 They hooked up. 414 00:27:53,517 --> 00:27:55,377 Fuck. 415 00:27:56,469 --> 00:27:58,569 You always this wet? 416 00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:01,472 Kind of. It's super embarrassing. 417 00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:05,445 - Does it turn you off? - Not at all. 418 00:28:05,446 --> 00:28:07,499 It's cool. 419 00:28:11,092 --> 00:28:13,226 Stay right here. 420 00:28:37,961 --> 00:28:40,377 - Aah! 421 00:28:40,378 --> 00:28:43,304 McKay. McKay, stop! Stop... 422 00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:45,952 Now, I know this looks disturbing, but for real, 423 00:28:45,953 --> 00:28:48,978 I promise you, this does not end in a rape. 424 00:28:48,979 --> 00:28:50,594 But here's the thing. 425 00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:53,826 Everyone on the planet watches porn. Fact. 426 00:28:53,827 --> 00:28:57,829 And if you were to click on the 20 most popular videos on Porn Hub right now, 427 00:28:57,830 --> 00:28:59,956 this is basically what you'd see: 428 00:28:59,957 --> 00:29:01,907 Good girl, yes, yes. 429 00:29:03,212 --> 00:29:05,029 Are you gonna be an obedient little slut? 430 00:29:09,472 --> 00:29:11,027 Say thank you, again. Oh, thank you. 431 00:29:11,028 --> 00:29:12,595 I'm not trying to be sex negative or anything. 432 00:29:12,596 --> 00:29:14,180 - I'm just saying... Stop! 433 00:29:14,181 --> 00:29:16,514 this shit isn't out of left fucking field. 434 00:29:16,515 --> 00:29:18,714 - Fuck, McKay! - What did I do? 435 00:29:18,715 --> 00:29:20,566 Why would you grab me like that? I couldn't breathe. 436 00:29:20,567 --> 00:29:21,905 I don't know. I thought you liked that. 437 00:29:21,906 --> 00:29:24,567 Why the fuck would I like that? 438 00:29:25,005 --> 00:29:27,505 Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't know. 439 00:29:27,942 --> 00:29:30,893 I just didn't expect it. 440 00:29:37,284 --> 00:29:40,836 Cassie, I'm really sorry, okay? I'm sorry. 441 00:29:40,837 --> 00:29:44,089 You know I would never do anything to hurt you. 442 00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:47,542 Just don't do it again. 443 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,898 Unless you ask me first. 444 00:30:00,141 --> 00:30:02,174 Or I ask you. 445 00:30:08,648 --> 00:30:11,095 Anyway, I didn't go to Lexi's. That was a lie. 446 00:30:11,096 --> 00:30:12,914 So, I was walking to McKay's party, 447 00:30:12,915 --> 00:30:16,221 because I have this rule that I don't drink and bike, 'cause like... 448 00:30:24,712 --> 00:30:27,648 - Is that...? Oh, shit. Slow down. 449 00:30:27,649 --> 00:30:29,967 Dude, that's Rue. Oh, my God. 450 00:30:29,968 --> 00:30:32,219 Wait. Didn't Rue, like, die? - Oh, my God, I hate ghosts. 451 00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:35,506 Yo, Casper! You want a ride? 452 00:30:39,852 --> 00:30:41,160 Why, thank you. 453 00:31:20,820 --> 00:31:26,022 Ah. How old are you? - Uh, 22. 454 00:31:27,593 --> 00:31:29,426 Thanks. 455 00:31:30,268 --> 00:31:32,124 Do you live in town? 456 00:31:32,843 --> 00:31:35,348 Uh, no. I'm just, uh, visiting my grandparents. 457 00:31:35,349 --> 00:31:37,033 Hmm. 458 00:31:38,743 --> 00:31:40,112 What about you? 459 00:31:41,731 --> 00:31:43,960 Do you walk around like this? 460 00:31:46,411 --> 00:31:47,819 What do you mean? 461 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:50,337 Well, this is how you look generally? 462 00:31:51,816 --> 00:31:54,884 I mean... yeah. 463 00:31:58,422 --> 00:31:59,913 You're beautiful. 464 00:32:02,126 --> 00:32:03,401 Thank you. 465 00:32:08,332 --> 00:32:11,750 I'm envious of your generation, you know. 466 00:32:13,119 --> 00:32:16,305 You guys don't care as much about the rules. 467 00:32:17,608 --> 00:32:20,476 You know, I think that's a good thing. 468 00:32:20,844 --> 00:32:24,329 And I don't want to be that old guy that gives you advice, 469 00:32:24,330 --> 00:32:27,899 but I look at you and I think there are... 470 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:31,102 two versions of how your life can go. 471 00:32:31,103 --> 00:32:35,439 You can either go someplace, where you're 472 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,108 wanted for who you are. 473 00:32:38,109 --> 00:32:41,962 Or you can stay in a town like this. End up like me. 474 00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:46,133 Living your life out in motel rooms. 475 00:32:50,139 --> 00:32:51,548 Selfishly... 476 00:32:53,966 --> 00:32:55,844 I hope you stay. 477 00:32:58,915 --> 00:33:00,307 Wider. 478 00:33:02,018 --> 00:33:04,836 Wider. There you go. 479 00:33:05,566 --> 00:33:08,455 That's it. Good girl. 480 00:33:17,799 --> 00:33:20,848 Jules once told me that every night when she was a kid, 481 00:33:20,849 --> 00:33:23,019 - like, five or something... 482 00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:24,954 Spit. 483 00:33:24,955 --> 00:33:27,085 she'd lock herself in the bathroom, 484 00:33:27,086 --> 00:33:29,393 get down on her hands and knees, and... 485 00:33:29,394 --> 00:33:30,978 - pray to God. 486 00:33:35,923 --> 00:33:38,614 She'd pray that when she woke up in the morning, 487 00:33:38,615 --> 00:33:40,572 she'd be 25 years old. 488 00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:43,892 She'd live with her best friend, a girl. 489 00:33:44,435 --> 00:33:46,870 Someone she hadn't met yet, but... 490 00:33:47,184 --> 00:33:49,085 someone she knew she'd trust forever. 491 00:33:56,918 --> 00:33:59,298 I don't know why, but when she told me that story, 492 00:33:59,299 --> 00:34:01,957 I started to cry so hard I hyperventilated. 493 00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,893 You're so clean. 494 00:34:04,894 --> 00:34:07,013 And you don't know how rare that is. 495 00:34:10,838 --> 00:34:14,564 Jules just kept laughing and saying, "What's wrong?" But... 496 00:34:15,257 --> 00:34:16,716 I didn't know. 497 00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:54,274 And then, the night got weird. 498 00:35:35,934 --> 00:35:38,250 - Hey. - Hey. 499 00:36:19,081 --> 00:36:21,690 Now, there's a couple versions of what happened that night. 500 00:36:21,691 --> 00:36:24,093 It all depends on who you ask, and to be honest, 501 00:36:24,094 --> 00:36:26,815 I'm not always the most reliable narrator. 502 00:36:30,746 --> 00:36:33,326 But Nate was fucking on one. 503 00:36:33,327 --> 00:36:36,788 And in turn, Maddy was fucking on one. 504 00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:44,365 Hi. 505 00:36:51,446 --> 00:36:53,608 Get undressed. I want to go swimming. 506 00:37:11,810 --> 00:37:14,595 - You're so hot. - I know. 507 00:37:35,934 --> 00:37:38,151 You're fucking crazy. 508 00:37:38,152 --> 00:37:42,281 No, I'm not. I'm just trying to get back at my really shitty ex-boyfriend. 509 00:37:42,282 --> 00:37:43,790 What? 510 00:37:44,226 --> 00:37:48,386 What if I told you that I wanted you to fuck me, right here, right now? 511 00:37:49,402 --> 00:37:50,780 Are you serious? 512 00:37:52,412 --> 00:37:54,376 And that's right about the time that Jules 513 00:37:54,377 --> 00:37:56,995 decided to ghost her hookup and bike over to McKay's. 514 00:37:59,074 --> 00:38:02,792 Now, Jules texted Kat, but Kat didn't answer, because... 515 00:38:14,471 --> 00:38:16,822 So what's the deal with your friend, BB? 516 00:38:17,258 --> 00:38:18,475 What about her? 517 00:38:18,476 --> 00:38:20,442 Well, is she like a prude, or is she like a slut? 518 00:38:20,443 --> 00:38:23,078 Definitely a slut. 519 00:38:23,079 --> 00:38:25,981 - What about you? - What about me? 520 00:38:25,982 --> 00:38:27,749 Are you a slut? 521 00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:30,852 Yeah, I'm a fucking savage. 522 00:38:30,853 --> 00:38:33,222 Oh, yeah? What's your number? 523 00:38:33,223 --> 00:38:36,312 Huh. Higher than you two can count. 524 00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:38,411 Stop playing. You're a fucking prude. 525 00:38:39,809 --> 00:38:42,732 Now, Kat wasn't a prude, but she was a virgin. 526 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:44,550 She'd told Jules that a week into summer school, 527 00:38:44,551 --> 00:38:46,267 and when Kat saw her reaction: 528 00:38:46,268 --> 00:38:49,052 Bitch, this isn't the '80s. You need to catch a dick. 529 00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:54,734 She was on a mission to enter junior year 530 00:38:54,735 --> 00:38:56,494 as a woman of questionable morals. 531 00:38:56,495 --> 00:38:58,513 Let me ask you a question. 532 00:38:58,514 --> 00:39:02,116 If I were to pull my dick out right now, would you suck it? 533 00:39:02,117 --> 00:39:05,385 - I don't know. Let me see it. 534 00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:08,055 - It's not hard yet. 535 00:39:08,056 --> 00:39:10,190 You've probably never sucked a dick in your life. 536 00:39:10,191 --> 00:39:11,606 Yeah, I have. 537 00:39:11,607 --> 00:39:13,660 No, most girls don't know how to suck dick. 538 00:39:13,661 --> 00:39:15,795 - Yeah. - What do you mean? 539 00:39:15,796 --> 00:39:17,297 Well, they're too gentle. It's like, 540 00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:19,032 they're fucking scared of it or something. 541 00:39:19,033 --> 00:39:20,934 - Not in porn. Exactly. 542 00:39:20,935 --> 00:39:23,770 - You watch porn? - Doesn't everyone? 543 00:39:23,771 --> 00:39:26,139 No. Every guy does. Yeah. 544 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:28,508 Not prudes. Only sluts. 545 00:39:28,509 --> 00:39:30,210 Yeah, well... 546 00:39:30,211 --> 00:39:32,990 Yeah, but like, how much? 547 00:39:32,991 --> 00:39:36,024 - What? - How much of a slut are you? 548 00:39:37,503 --> 00:39:40,252 Mm. Why don't you come find out? 549 00:39:41,473 --> 00:39:43,222 Why don't you take your top off? 550 00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:48,961 Like, right now, in front of... In front of these two? 551 00:39:48,962 --> 00:39:50,413 Yeah. 552 00:39:51,015 --> 00:39:52,844 I dare you. 553 00:40:11,651 --> 00:40:13,851 Yo, you know what they say, right? 554 00:40:13,852 --> 00:40:16,554 Fat girls give the best head. 555 00:40:30,294 --> 00:40:33,738 I was out back talking to Fezco when Jules arrived. 556 00:40:33,739 --> 00:40:35,840 What the fuck, Rue? 557 00:40:35,841 --> 00:40:38,555 What? What, what, what, what? 558 00:40:38,556 --> 00:40:41,946 Come on now, bruh. You owe me 120 bucks. 559 00:40:41,947 --> 00:40:44,048 My bad, man, I forgot. 560 00:40:44,049 --> 00:40:46,734 Shit, you know I ain't trippin'. 561 00:40:48,971 --> 00:40:50,854 Well, to be honest with you, 562 00:40:50,855 --> 00:40:54,158 your whole drug shit got me feeling kind of uneasy. 563 00:40:54,159 --> 00:40:57,093 Come on, don't go soft on me, Fez. 564 00:40:57,094 --> 00:40:59,796 No, I'm not. It's just that... 565 00:40:59,797 --> 00:41:03,600 I like you. And I missed you, bruh. Like... 566 00:41:03,601 --> 00:41:05,917 That shit at the beginning of summer 567 00:41:05,918 --> 00:41:07,971 had me scared as fuck. 568 00:41:07,972 --> 00:41:11,208 - Yeah, you and everybody else. - I'm serious, Rue. 569 00:41:11,209 --> 00:41:13,794 I've seen a lot of people die. 570 00:41:15,130 --> 00:41:17,247 None like you. 571 00:41:17,248 --> 00:41:20,384 I don't know what type of fucked up shit 572 00:41:20,385 --> 00:41:22,151 you got going inside your head. 573 00:41:22,152 --> 00:41:25,788 I don't know how to help, but I could tell you one thing: 574 00:41:25,789 --> 00:41:29,509 this drug shit, it's not the answer. 575 00:41:34,716 --> 00:41:37,950 You know, I remember when I was eleven years old... 576 00:41:39,020 --> 00:41:42,137 It was a couple months after my dad got diagnosed, 577 00:41:42,138 --> 00:41:45,140 and we got the results back from the prognosis. 578 00:41:45,141 --> 00:41:48,744 And it was really good. It was like, 80/20. 579 00:41:48,745 --> 00:41:51,614 And we decided to celebrate, so... 580 00:41:51,615 --> 00:41:55,101 we like ordered a bunch of Chinese food. 581 00:41:56,203 --> 00:42:00,021 I remember that night, I was laying between my parents in bed, 582 00:42:00,022 --> 00:42:02,507 and, uh... 583 00:42:03,711 --> 00:42:05,706 all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. 584 00:42:07,814 --> 00:42:13,067 It was like there was no more air left in the world. 585 00:42:13,068 --> 00:42:16,373 And I was gasping, and I was panicking. 586 00:42:17,432 --> 00:42:19,999 And they called the ambulance and they thought it was like... 587 00:42:20,744 --> 00:42:23,362 an allergic reaction or some shit. 588 00:42:24,131 --> 00:42:26,539 And then when I got to the hospital, 589 00:42:27,832 --> 00:42:29,883 they gave me liquid Valium. 590 00:42:32,053 --> 00:42:35,106 Yeah. To calm me down. 591 00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:39,844 And when it hit me, I thought... 592 00:42:42,347 --> 00:42:43,514 This is it. 593 00:42:45,595 --> 00:42:49,303 This is the feeling I have been searching for my entire life, 594 00:42:49,304 --> 00:42:51,748 for as long as I could remember. 595 00:42:52,315 --> 00:42:54,067 Because suddenly, 596 00:42:55,443 --> 00:42:57,070 the world went quiet. 597 00:42:58,154 --> 00:43:02,158 And I felt safe, in my own head. 598 00:43:07,138 --> 00:43:09,186 Two years later, he was gone. 599 00:43:12,042 --> 00:43:13,691 Panic attacks stayed. 600 00:43:16,381 --> 00:43:18,841 And I found a way to live, so... 601 00:43:19,467 --> 00:43:22,201 Will it eventually kill me? Maybe. 602 00:43:22,202 --> 00:43:24,954 Fuck, maybe not. I don't know. 603 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,561 You still gonna be my dealer, Fez? 604 00:43:32,197 --> 00:43:35,581 - You a fucking trip, bruh. 605 00:43:35,582 --> 00:43:38,717 I'm too high to be having this conversation right now. 606 00:43:38,718 --> 00:43:40,554 Yeah, man. Me, too. 607 00:43:41,455 --> 00:43:43,199 Me fucking too. 608 00:44:30,202 --> 00:44:33,004 Yeah, that's real classy, you fucking whore. 609 00:44:33,005 --> 00:44:34,572 Suck my dick. 610 00:44:34,573 --> 00:44:37,058 Ooh! 611 00:44:50,465 --> 00:44:53,466 Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of the kitchen! Fuck! 612 00:44:54,243 --> 00:44:56,643 Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. 613 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:04,051 What the fuck are you looking at? 614 00:45:07,489 --> 00:45:09,172 Who are you? 615 00:45:09,173 --> 00:45:12,893 - I'm Jules. I'm a friend of... - You're a friend of, uh... 616 00:45:12,894 --> 00:45:14,772 A friend of whose? 'Cause you're not my fucking friend. 617 00:45:14,773 --> 00:45:16,646 Who the fuck are you friends with, Jules? 618 00:45:16,647 --> 00:45:18,231 Hmm? 619 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,200 Do you guys know who the fuck this is? 620 00:45:21,869 --> 00:45:24,387 Does anybody know who this is? 621 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:27,656 Does anybody know who the fuck Jules is? 622 00:45:27,657 --> 00:45:31,127 Anyone at all. You, do you know who the fuck Jules is? 623 00:45:34,255 --> 00:45:35,854 So, who are you? 624 00:45:37,352 --> 00:45:40,202 I'm just minding my own business. I'm not trying to start anything. 625 00:45:40,203 --> 00:45:42,671 Well, no, you're not. Nobody that looks like you 626 00:45:42,672 --> 00:45:45,524 is minding their own fuckin' business. 627 00:45:47,568 --> 00:45:49,030 I know what you are. 628 00:45:49,847 --> 00:45:52,163 Yeah. Yeah, I see you. 629 00:45:52,716 --> 00:45:54,522 So what do you want, huh? 630 00:45:55,551 --> 00:45:58,153 You want some, some fucking attention? 631 00:45:58,154 --> 00:46:00,478 'Cause I'll give you some fucking attention. 632 00:46:03,243 --> 00:46:07,662 Yo, is anybody here friends with Jules? 633 00:46:07,663 --> 00:46:10,646 Anyone? Does anybody know who the fuck this bitch is? 634 00:46:10,647 --> 00:46:14,269 Somebody better speak up, or this bitch is gonna get fucked up! 635 00:46:14,270 --> 00:46:16,798 Shit! 636 00:46:16,799 --> 00:46:19,040 - You wanna fucking hurt me? No, I was fucking kidding! 637 00:46:19,041 --> 00:46:21,576 Back the fuck up! What the fuck is your problem? 638 00:46:21,577 --> 00:46:23,578 Put the fucking knife down, okay. 639 00:46:23,579 --> 00:46:25,947 - It was a joke. - You wanna fucking hurt me? 640 00:46:25,948 --> 00:46:28,583 - No, no, no... - You have no fucking idea! 641 00:46:29,852 --> 00:46:31,613 See? - You're psycho! 642 00:46:31,614 --> 00:46:34,021 I'm fucking invincible! You're a fucking freak. 643 00:46:34,022 --> 00:46:36,023 What the fuck? 644 00:46:42,448 --> 00:46:44,213 By the way, I'm Jules. 645 00:46:45,179 --> 00:46:46,816 I just moved here. 646 00:46:48,021 --> 00:46:51,240 I mean... right? 647 00:47:00,381 --> 00:47:03,149 Where the fuck have you been? You missed the craziest shit ever! 648 00:47:03,150 --> 00:47:05,184 I just lost my virginity. 649 00:47:05,185 --> 00:47:08,154 Bitch, are you fucking serious? With who? 650 00:47:08,155 --> 00:47:09,923 This guy from St. Mary's. 651 00:47:09,924 --> 00:47:12,726 - How did you like it? - It was nice. Yeah. 652 00:47:12,727 --> 00:47:17,699 Oh, my God. My little slut. I'm so proud of you! 653 00:47:23,889 --> 00:47:26,006 Yo! Shit, uh... 654 00:47:26,007 --> 00:47:28,341 - Are you okay? Uh, uh, yeah. It's fine. 655 00:47:28,342 --> 00:47:30,561 Guess I knew that was gonna get violent, 656 00:47:30,562 --> 00:47:32,579 and I didn't want a fucking broken cheekbone or some shit. 657 00:47:32,580 --> 00:47:35,214 Yeah, no, no, I totally, like, I get the logic behind it. 658 00:47:35,215 --> 00:47:38,351 But it's still, like, fucking insane. 659 00:47:43,942 --> 00:47:46,976 - I'm Rue. - I'm Jules. 660 00:47:47,845 --> 00:47:50,396 Where are you headed to? 661 00:47:50,397 --> 00:47:53,149 Home. Probably. 662 00:47:54,486 --> 00:47:56,686 Can I come with you? 663 00:48:48,987 --> 00:48:50,938 Shh. 664 00:49:03,653 --> 00:49:05,219 Let me see. 665 00:49:07,556 --> 00:49:08,989 Oh. 666 00:49:19,201 --> 00:49:20,851 - Shh! 667 00:49:20,852 --> 00:49:23,403 Sorry. Sorry. 668 00:51:08,398 --> 00:51:11,743 Remember when I said things got weird? 669 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:17,781 So... yeah. 670 00:51:47,895 --> 00:51:50,914 I've got an idea. 671 00:51:52,116 --> 00:51:53,380 What? 672 00:51:54,502 --> 00:51:55,983 Wanna get high?