1 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,558 Lexi... 2 00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,144 We're ready. 3 00:01:49,051 --> 00:01:51,387 Wasn't it a lovely memorial? 4 00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:55,057 Oh, yes. It was up. It wasn't down at all. 5 00:01:58,060 --> 00:02:00,729 A good heart, and, you know, 6 00:02:00,813 --> 00:02:03,816 she takes after him. 7 00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:05,317 Thanks, Grandma. 8 00:02:07,945 --> 00:02:11,281 - It was so warm and from the heart. - Yes, it was. 9 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,867 - It was just— It was lovely, dear. - Wasn't it, wasn't it? 10 00:02:13,951 --> 00:02:17,162 You know what? He was a special man. 11 00:02:17,246 --> 00:02:19,540 Did he have life insurance? 12 00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:22,001 Uh... a little bit. 13 00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,881 We'll figure it out. 14 00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:29,842 But he was young. 15 00:02:29,925 --> 00:02:32,553 Yeah, he, he was young. 16 00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:37,057 Are you gonna be able to— The house, the kids? 17 00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:40,185 We'll figure it out. Good, good. 18 00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:43,397 - It's, it's gotta be a relief. - Thank you. 19 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,606 Thank you for coming. 20 00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:54,783 - Hey. - How's it goin' over there? 21 00:02:56,285 --> 00:02:59,580 She's asking me all these questions. Oh, yeah? 22 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,717 - She skipped class. - Is anyone gonna check on her? 23 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,677 - Is Rue in her room? - Yeah. 24 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:17,181 - She hasn't opened the door. - Do you think she's okay? 25 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:20,392 Don't just stand here and gossip. It's rude. 26 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:22,895 Rue? 27 00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,482 - Hey. Hey. 28 00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:41,205 These were my dad's. 29 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,418 How are you feeling? 30 00:03:53,383 --> 00:03:58,472 Yeah. I... found this poem, and I thought of you. 31 00:03:58,555 --> 00:04:00,724 If it's C.S. Lewis, I can't. 32 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:04,228 - No, it's not. I promise. - Every hospice nurse says 33 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:07,523 that "Grief is a long valley." 34 00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:09,817 Yeah, but that's not the full quote. 35 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:14,655 Yeah, well, it's enough for me. 36 00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:16,782 Well, the second part's kind of sweet. 37 00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:19,076 What is it? 38 00:04:20,536 --> 00:04:24,581 Uh, "A winding valley where every bend... 39 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,417 may reveal a new landscape." 40 00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:32,923 That's not that bad. 41 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,432 Can I read this to you? 42 00:04:46,311 --> 00:04:48,063 Uh, yeah, I'd love that. 43 00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:54,945 Uh... 44 00:04:56,488 --> 00:04:59,491 It's called "Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower" 45 00:04:59,575 --> 00:05:01,702 by Rainer Maria Rilke. 46 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,211 "Quiet friend who has come so far, 47 00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:15,382 "feel how your breathing makes more space around you. 48 00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:31,106 "Let this darkness be a bell tower and you the bell. 49 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:36,445 "As you ring, what batters you becomes your strength. 50 00:05:36,528 --> 00:05:40,157 "Move back and forth into the change. 51 00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:45,579 "What is it like, such intensity of pain? 52 00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:49,917 "If the drink is bitter, turn yourself into wine. 53 00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:53,712 "In this uncontainable night, 54 00:05:53,795 --> 00:05:58,884 "be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses, 55 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,094 "the meaning discovered there. 56 00:06:02,346 --> 00:06:05,390 "And if the world has ceased to hear you, 57 00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:08,852 "say to the silent I flow. 58 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:13,232 To the rushing water, I am." 59 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,868 I knew Jade had been doing drugs, 60 00:07:06,952 --> 00:07:08,954 but it wasn't until that day, 61 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,664 at her dad's memorial, 62 00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:13,208 that I realized they were a greater comfort 63 00:07:13,292 --> 00:07:15,502 than I ever could be. 64 00:07:15,585 --> 00:07:17,421 Maybe that's a silly observation, 65 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,589 but I was only 13. 66 00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:24,720 It was the summer before I started ninth grade... 67 00:07:24,803 --> 00:07:27,514 back when we thought we'd all be friends forever. 68 00:07:33,478 --> 00:07:34,646 Move. 69 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,316 Move, move, move! 70 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,235 Lights, four, go. 71 00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:44,614 There were five of us. 72 00:07:46,450 --> 00:07:47,909 There was me, Grace... 73 00:07:57,127 --> 00:07:58,712 My sister, Hallie... 74 00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:05,802 Her best friend, Marta... 75 00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,393 Marta's best friend, Luna. 76 00:08:18,148 --> 00:08:19,775 And my best friend, Jade. 77 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,451 Bring out the fucking letters now. 78 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,543 And this is life. 79 00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:43,048 Not everyone's life... 80 00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:46,009 But our life! 81 00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:56,353 Oh, that's fuckin' cool. 82 00:09:00,357 --> 00:09:02,984 Wait, is this fucking play about us? 83 00:09:12,202 --> 00:09:13,954 For the last few months, 84 00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:16,415 Lexi had been talking to Fezco every day. 85 00:09:16,498 --> 00:09:21,420 But I still don't understand what the play is actually about, though. 86 00:09:21,503 --> 00:09:24,423 It's about friendship. 87 00:09:24,506 --> 00:09:28,009 Well, that's nice. Everybody's gonna love that. 88 00:09:28,093 --> 00:09:29,678 Yeah, I-I mean, I hope so. 89 00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:32,264 I just— I keep second-guessing myself 90 00:09:32,347 --> 00:09:34,433 and getting anxious, like, if people are gonna think 91 00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:35,934 that it's good or bad, 92 00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:39,354 or if it's gonna upset people or not. 93 00:09:39,438 --> 00:09:41,940 But why would anyone be upset by it? 94 00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:45,402 Oh, you know, it's, it's based on real people. 95 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,781 Yeah, you really strokin' the bee's nest with that one. 96 00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:52,909 - Am I? - I mean... 97 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,662 if someone invited me to a play, and... 98 00:09:55,746 --> 00:09:58,915 they didn't even tell me I was a character in it? 99 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,876 I'd definitely have some questions. 100 00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:03,003 Like, bad questions? 101 00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:05,005 Depends on the play. 102 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:07,466 Well, would you be upset by it? 103 00:10:07,549 --> 00:10:10,010 It depends on the play. 104 00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:14,014 - Right. And the intentions of the person who made the play. 105 00:10:14,097 --> 00:10:16,349 My intentions are good. 106 00:10:16,433 --> 00:10:19,853 Then you ain't got nothin' to worry about. 107 00:10:19,936 --> 00:10:24,649 But... what if they think my intentions aren't good 108 00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:26,902 when in reality they are good? 109 00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:29,196 Well, that's what I call a quandary. 110 00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,907 What's the answer? 111 00:10:31,990 --> 00:10:35,827 Uh, wait, what was the question again? 112 00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:39,372 Like, what happens if Cassie sees the play 113 00:10:39,456 --> 00:10:42,667 and thinks I'm being cruel, even though I'm not? 114 00:10:42,751 --> 00:10:45,086 Well, how about you just don't invite her then? 115 00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:47,088 No, she'd get so mad. 116 00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:50,884 Even more mad than if she actually saw the play? 117 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,929 That's— I don't know. 118 00:10:57,766 --> 00:10:59,809 Okay, this might kinda be 119 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,354 a weird and embarrassing thing to admit, 120 00:11:02,437 --> 00:11:05,732 but I think the most defining moment of my adolescence 121 00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:08,235 was when my sister went through puberty. 122 00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:14,950 - Uck, I look disgusting. 123 00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,160 Hey, Hallie, I'm in the middle of somethin'. 124 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,913 It's just this dress is so not flattering. 125 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:24,251 Hallie, I'm kinda puttin' on a play right now. What? 126 00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:25,835 Like, there's an entire audience 127 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,254 waiting for me to continue talking. 128 00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:30,882 Where? 129 00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:32,342 Right here. 130 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:36,263 Oh, Hi. Wow. 131 00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:41,893 Whatever. The point is, I couldn't wait 132 00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:43,520 to go through puberty. 133 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:47,107 Wow, wow, wow! 134 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,610 Look at you! 135 00:11:50,694 --> 00:11:54,614 - I feel like a big baby. - Hallie... 136 00:11:54,698 --> 00:11:57,909 I've been on this planet for 38 goddamn years, 137 00:11:57,993 --> 00:12:02,289 and I have never seen a baby with knockers like yours. 138 00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,210 Mom, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard you say. 139 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,255 Okay. 140 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,881 Lights, 12, go. 141 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:15,802 Look, I know being informed, smart, hardworking, and curious 142 00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:17,554 are all very important qualities, 143 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:23,059 but imagine having all of those qualities and also being hot. 144 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,855 So, if Hallie was 433 days older than me, 145 00:12:26,938 --> 00:12:30,317 then all I would have to do is wait... 146 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,654 433 days, and I'd look just like her. 147 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:03,266 - Yo, Ash, get the door, man. 148 00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:10,065 Okay, I need you to pull it way back. 149 00:13:10,148 --> 00:13:12,359 You're too broad. It's not funny. 150 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,447 Oh my god. Are you crying? 151 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,992 It's a directorial note. You just take it and move on, okay? 152 00:13:22,577 --> 00:13:24,537 Hey, I need the light cues to be 40% faster, 153 00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:26,998 - and the stagehands to be 20% faster. Copy that. 154 00:13:27,082 --> 00:13:31,628 Ew! God! What the— Did someone die in this dress? 155 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,297 It smells like shit. 156 00:13:38,343 --> 00:13:39,803 I love the theater. 157 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,180 What we got goin' on? 158 00:13:42,263 --> 00:13:45,809 - Freshly steamed. - Ooh. 159 00:13:46,768 --> 00:13:48,520 Yes, yes, yes. 160 00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:50,855 You da best. 161 00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,443 Mmm. Yeah, we steppin' out tonight. 162 00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:58,905 Ooh, bless your heart. 163 00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:05,912 Nah, I really do appreciate you doin' that, though. 164 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,749 Damn, what's good? 165 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,626 Yo, wassup, man? 166 00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:13,586 Yo, I'm, I'm, actually, a little busy. 167 00:14:13,670 --> 00:14:16,047 I'm, I'm gettin' ready to go out. 168 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,341 We goin' to a party? 169 00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,301 Where you goin'? 170 00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:24,514 Don't worry about what I'm doin', man. Worry about yourself. 171 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,267 All right. I'mma just chill then. 172 00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:10,101 This is your dream. 173 00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:12,729 Mick... 174 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,190 don't screw this up. 175 00:15:15,273 --> 00:15:16,816 Lights, 12, go. 176 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,945 I could see myself now. 177 00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:24,532 Damn! Shit! - I'd be the girl... 178 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:27,869 - no one ever... could get. Is that Lexi? 179 00:15:27,952 --> 00:15:31,664 - Hi. 180 00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:34,667 - Hey, Ted, how are you? - Woo! 181 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:37,128 Damn! Oh shit! 182 00:15:37,212 --> 00:15:40,757 Hey, boys. How are you? 183 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,966 Shit! 184 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:44,969 And I'd imagine my former classmates... 185 00:15:45,053 --> 00:15:46,638 sitting around at barbecues 186 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,723 in their dirty, dirty backyards 187 00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:50,141 20 years from now. 188 00:15:50,225 --> 00:15:53,895 Man... I really wish I'd boned Lexi Howard. 189 00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:56,064 Yeah, you and the rest of East Highland. 190 00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:01,486 All I had to do was wait. 191 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,868 Light, 86, go. 192 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,755 - Look, Lexi, some guys prefer smaller boobs. Yeah? 193 00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,259 I mean, if you and I could trade bodies, 194 00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:25,969 I'd do it in a heartbeat. 195 00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,638 - Well maybe they're still growing. - No, they're not. 196 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:32,016 - Well, sometimes, it takes— - No, they're fully formed. 197 00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:37,021 To be honest, I'm not really the kind of person 198 00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:39,148 who wants to be known for their body. 199 00:16:46,197 --> 00:16:49,617 But I also didn't want the troubles that came along with it. 200 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:55,498 I wasn't even looking at him, I swear. 201 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,959 You're the only person I've ever dreamed of. 202 00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:19,606 Well, she certainly looks the part. 203 00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:31,326 I feel like I've lived most of my life in my imagination. 204 00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,082 Taking the smallest moments 205 00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:41,377 and dreaming them up into something bigger. 206 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,425 Of course, I'mma be there. 207 00:17:47,508 --> 00:17:50,386 I'mma be sittin' in the front row, shorty. 208 00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:54,807 - I promise you that. - Okay. 209 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:02,065 A little exchange and I fall in love. 210 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:14,535 A moment to myself and I'm onstage. 211 00:18:24,629 --> 00:18:28,508 But reality always finds a way of pulling me back. 212 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,304 Do you think he's okay? 213 00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:35,390 I think he's just sleeping. 214 00:18:35,473 --> 00:18:37,308 It's the middle of the day. 215 00:18:47,068 --> 00:18:50,029 I think we should have Mom come pick us up. 216 00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:54,659 - Don't be rude. - It doesn't matter if it's rude. 217 00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:57,370 I don't want him to think that we don't trust him. 218 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,581 Come on, girls. 219 00:19:01,332 --> 00:19:03,001 Get in the car. 220 00:19:07,588 --> 00:19:08,881 Come on, Lex. 221 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,972 Uh, I just need, like, like an eighth of weed. That's all. 222 00:19:58,056 --> 00:20:00,058 I can help with that. - All right. 223 00:20:00,141 --> 00:20:02,351 Uh, yo, I'll just be a second. 224 00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,828 I think before high school we should think about 225 00:20:20,912 --> 00:20:23,664 all the things we don't like about ourselves... 226 00:20:23,748 --> 00:20:26,793 and then change them, so we can be, like, 227 00:20:26,876 --> 00:20:29,962 like, different, cooler people. 228 00:20:30,046 --> 00:20:31,881 I don't think we need to be cooler. 229 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,842 Well, we should at least try and know what's cool. 230 00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:37,929 Yeah, but that shit, like, changes all the time. 231 00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:40,264 That's what makes it hard to follow. 232 00:20:40,348 --> 00:20:43,101 Yeah, but I think it's a good thing. 233 00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:47,063 But... what if we get excluded from things? 234 00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,482 That's also a good thing. 235 00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:52,318 - Really? - Yeah. 236 00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:55,446 My dad says he refuses to be a part of any club 237 00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:57,073 that would have him as a member. 238 00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,492 Well, that's cool. 239 00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:03,454 Yeah, don't tell anyone. They'll fuckin' ruin it. 240 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:12,046 Jade was the first person who made me feel okay about not being cool. 241 00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:13,464 Lights, 10, go. 242 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,676 I just feel like in 10 years, 243 00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:18,386 technology's gonna get really scary, 244 00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:20,596 and we're all gonna wish we'd never used it. 245 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,473 What are you talking about? 246 00:21:22,557 --> 00:21:25,268 Well, all these tech companies are simultaneously 247 00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,478 developing artificial intelligence and robotics, 248 00:21:27,562 --> 00:21:29,397 so it's only a matter of time before they 249 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,274 become the new military-industrial complex 250 00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,526 and start making killer robots. 251 00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,944 I think there's a big difference 252 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,947 between taking selfies and killer robots. 253 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,449 Yeah, maybe now, but that gap will close. 254 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,747 But anyway, back to where I was. 255 00:21:46,831 --> 00:21:49,542 We talked and laughed for hours that night. 256 00:21:50,585 --> 00:21:53,045 I miss those days. 257 00:21:53,129 --> 00:21:57,592 It was before my dad left and Jade's dad died. 258 00:21:57,675 --> 00:21:59,844 Before Jade got into heavy drugs, 259 00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:02,555 and before I got inside my head. 260 00:22:04,432 --> 00:22:06,475 It was before we grew apart, 261 00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,686 and before I started doubting myself 262 00:22:08,769 --> 00:22:12,690 every time someone would ask me if Jade was my best friend. 263 00:22:15,526 --> 00:22:18,571 "Let this darkness be a bell tower... 264 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,407 and you the bell." 265 00:22:24,827 --> 00:22:28,080 Feel like I don't know anything about your life anymore. 266 00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:32,001 I'll tell you when you get back. 267 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,049 - Good night. - Good night. 268 00:22:42,678 --> 00:22:46,766 Um... do you ever worry as you get older... 269 00:22:48,184 --> 00:22:50,811 you'll have less and less memories of Dad? 270 00:22:53,856 --> 00:22:55,066 Yeah. 271 00:22:58,527 --> 00:23:01,364 How do you stop that from happening? 272 00:23:08,704 --> 00:23:10,081 You can't. 273 00:23:23,761 --> 00:23:29,475 I... I remember a couple of days before you passed away... 274 00:23:30,851 --> 00:23:33,563 you told me... 275 00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:35,856 that if I ever wanted to be with you... 276 00:23:37,775 --> 00:23:40,278 all I would have to do is close my eyes... 277 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:44,824 and we'd be together. 278 00:23:44,907 --> 00:23:49,161 You said that... memories exist outside of time. 279 00:24:04,635 --> 00:24:06,971 Hey, come on! Come join us. 280 00:25:33,599 --> 00:25:36,227 I sometimes think about how my sister and I 281 00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:40,231 had so many of the same wishes growing up... 282 00:25:40,314 --> 00:25:42,733 and how different we became. 283 00:26:04,922 --> 00:26:09,135 At that age, we all thought we knew what love looked like. 284 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:19,395 And we had our suspicions of what it felt like. 285 00:26:19,478 --> 00:26:22,690 But that's also what made it so intoxicating. 286 00:26:24,024 --> 00:26:27,153 None of us had any idea what it actually was. 287 00:26:29,613 --> 00:26:31,657 I don't think there's anything more beautiful 288 00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:34,785 than dedicating your life to loving someone. 289 00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:42,626 I think that's my biggest dream... 290 00:26:45,171 --> 00:26:46,672 To be your girl... 291 00:26:50,634 --> 00:26:52,845 To love you more than anything. 292 00:27:22,082 --> 00:27:24,210 You could never scare me. 293 00:27:39,433 --> 00:27:42,019 I don't know if I wanna do this. 294 00:27:42,102 --> 00:27:44,647 It's just weed. It's not heroin. 295 00:27:59,828 --> 00:28:02,373 Lexi wildin' out today. 296 00:28:03,832 --> 00:28:07,086 - You okay? - My god, that really burns. 297 00:28:09,713 --> 00:28:11,549 My whole life, I've always had this feeling 298 00:28:11,632 --> 00:28:15,427 that at any moment, something horrible was about to happen. 299 00:28:26,522 --> 00:28:27,731 Psst. 300 00:28:36,407 --> 00:28:37,616 Faye! 301 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:38,784 Come here. 302 00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:08,480 Be cool. 303 00:29:10,024 --> 00:29:11,400 I love you. 304 00:29:24,913 --> 00:29:27,625 Yo, Faye! Yeah? 305 00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:29,918 Come here for a split second. 306 00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:32,463 I'll be right there. 307 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,944 Tie or no tie? 308 00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:01,784 - You okay? - Um... 309 00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:04,912 Yeah, I'm good. 310 00:30:11,335 --> 00:30:14,213 Yo, you got her lookin' like that, 311 00:30:14,296 --> 00:30:16,382 that white guy with the afro. 312 00:30:16,465 --> 00:30:18,008 He be paintin' on TV. 313 00:30:18,092 --> 00:30:19,927 - Fuckin' Bob Ross. 314 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:23,222 - She looks like Bob Ross. Bobby, Bobby, it's a fire! 315 00:30:23,305 --> 00:30:25,516 - We gotta, We gotta go. We gotta go. Yeah. - It's a fire! C'mon, c'mon! 316 00:30:28,602 --> 00:30:30,813 I don't think I like weed. 317 00:30:32,106 --> 00:30:35,609 Yeah, well, that's... crazy talk. 318 00:30:35,693 --> 00:30:42,074 I just can't control my brain the same way... I normally can. 319 00:30:42,157 --> 00:30:44,785 Yeah, but that's, like, the best part. 320 00:30:50,290 --> 00:30:54,753 All right, well, see ya later, homie. Good night. 321 00:30:56,714 --> 00:30:58,215 Get home safe. 322 00:31:00,175 --> 00:31:01,301 Okay. 323 00:31:03,679 --> 00:31:05,389 I think Jade used drugs 324 00:31:05,472 --> 00:31:07,641 to push away all the bad thoughts. 325 00:31:07,725 --> 00:31:10,728 But it did the opposite for me. 326 00:31:13,147 --> 00:31:16,066 All I could think about were the bad thoughts. 327 00:31:27,828 --> 00:31:30,372 The things that could go wrong... 328 00:31:30,456 --> 00:31:32,708 the people I could lose... 329 00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:37,087 and the million and one reasons why I'm not good enough. 330 00:31:51,393 --> 00:31:55,105 Jules and I hadn't spoken since that bullshit intervention. 331 00:31:57,357 --> 00:31:59,401 Even though I see her around. 332 00:32:11,413 --> 00:32:14,708 It's funny how I used to think we were meant for each other. 333 00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:20,339 That feels like a lifetime ago. 334 00:32:33,894 --> 00:32:35,229 What's up? 335 00:33:07,010 --> 00:33:08,554 You broke me. 336 00:33:11,807 --> 00:33:13,934 Completely broke me. 337 00:33:17,688 --> 00:33:19,481 I give up. 338 00:33:19,565 --> 00:33:21,525 Hey... 339 00:33:21,608 --> 00:33:24,069 you wanna kill yourself doin' drugs? Go ahead. 340 00:33:24,152 --> 00:33:25,946 I'm not gonna stand in your way. 341 00:33:28,657 --> 00:33:30,742 - So I can do drugs? - Yeah. 342 00:33:30,826 --> 00:33:34,079 - Anything I want? - The world's your oyster. 343 00:33:37,499 --> 00:33:40,210 - Mom, are you fucking with me right now? - No. 344 00:33:40,294 --> 00:33:43,714 If you wanna fry every last brain cell in your head, 345 00:33:43,797 --> 00:33:44,882 go ahead. 346 00:33:44,965 --> 00:33:47,426 What? What? 347 00:33:47,509 --> 00:33:49,636 - That's exciting to you, huh? - What? 348 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:50,888 Bein' a crackhead? 349 00:33:50,971 --> 00:33:53,390 I just feel like there's a catch here. 350 00:33:53,473 --> 00:33:56,476 I can't convince you that your life is important. 351 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,771 You're gonna have to make that decision on your own. 352 00:33:59,855 --> 00:34:04,401 You'll be 18 soon... and outta my house. 353 00:34:04,484 --> 00:34:07,779 And you're gonna make whatever decisions you're gonna make. 354 00:34:10,824 --> 00:34:12,576 I'm takin' you off my plate. 355 00:34:16,747 --> 00:34:18,415 Okay. 356 00:34:18,498 --> 00:34:20,250 I'm gonna focus on Gia. 357 00:34:22,044 --> 00:34:23,629 Yeah, but she's fine, though. 358 00:34:25,505 --> 00:34:27,507 She's been gettin' D's in math. 359 00:34:28,926 --> 00:34:29,843 Yeah. 360 00:34:29,927 --> 00:34:31,470 She's been in detention 361 00:34:31,553 --> 00:34:34,640 three times in the past two weeks. 362 00:34:34,723 --> 00:34:36,975 And every mornin', when I go into her room 363 00:34:37,059 --> 00:34:38,101 to make sure she's awake, 364 00:34:38,185 --> 00:34:40,771 she already up... on the phone. 365 00:34:40,854 --> 00:34:43,732 And I know she's not getting any sleep. 366 00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:48,153 But if you say she's fine... I'll just take your word for it. 367 00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:53,867 I didn't know any of that. 368 00:34:54,952 --> 00:34:56,745 Why would you? 369 00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:59,039 You only ever think about yourself. 370 00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:03,669 That's not true, Mom. 371 00:35:06,672 --> 00:35:10,133 If I have to choose between losin' one daughter or two? 372 00:35:11,593 --> 00:35:13,345 I'mma fight to save her. 373 00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:24,273 Nah, that's fair. 374 00:35:27,985 --> 00:35:31,238 Move it, move it, move it. 375 00:35:31,321 --> 00:35:34,199 When Hallie and Marta entered ninth grade, 376 00:35:34,282 --> 00:35:36,576 they became inseparable. 377 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,055 When I first met Marta, she made me nervous. 378 00:36:40,891 --> 00:36:45,729 I had never seen anyone as sure of themself as her. 379 00:36:45,812 --> 00:36:48,315 Because of that, I didn't really trust her. 380 00:36:48,398 --> 00:36:50,650 Woo! 381 00:36:54,905 --> 00:36:56,948 Until her parents started fighting all the time 382 00:36:57,032 --> 00:37:00,243 and she basically moved in with us for a few months. 383 00:37:05,707 --> 00:37:07,042 D'ya like it? 384 00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,543 I feel stupid. 385 00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:11,129 What? Everyone feels stupid. Who cares? 386 00:37:11,213 --> 00:37:13,340 - You feel stupid? - Yeah, I did. 387 00:37:13,423 --> 00:37:17,511 And then, I just chose not to feel stupid. 388 00:37:17,594 --> 00:37:22,599 I don't know if... I can... really get to that point. 389 00:37:22,682 --> 00:37:25,018 90% of life is confidence. 390 00:37:25,102 --> 00:37:28,396 And the thing about confidence is no one knows if it's real or not. 391 00:37:31,441 --> 00:37:33,693 Okay, okay, I'm not runnin' a brothel here. 392 00:37:33,777 --> 00:37:36,404 All right, girls? It's time for bed. 393 00:37:36,488 --> 00:37:38,490 It's supposed to be me. 394 00:37:38,573 --> 00:37:40,742 Oh, that's supposed to be me. 395 00:37:40,826 --> 00:37:45,413 All righty, beauty queens. It's time for bed. Good night. 396 00:37:45,497 --> 00:37:47,833 Good night, sugar pops. 397 00:37:52,963 --> 00:37:54,172 Marta... 398 00:37:56,216 --> 00:37:57,551 Yeah? 399 00:37:59,094 --> 00:38:01,304 You can sleep in my bed if you want. 400 00:38:15,527 --> 00:38:19,531 My parents used to fight all the time, too, so I get it. 401 00:38:21,283 --> 00:38:23,869 You can stay here as long as you want. 402 00:38:39,134 --> 00:38:41,678 Open the fucking door, Cassie. 403 00:38:41,761 --> 00:38:43,847 Open the door and tell me it was worth it. 404 00:38:43,930 --> 00:38:45,223 You owe me that. 405 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,813 Open the fucking door, Cassie! 406 00:38:52,981 --> 00:38:54,733 What kind of fucking friend are you? 407 00:38:54,816 --> 00:38:56,735 What the fuck? 408 00:38:56,818 --> 00:38:57,986 This isn't about Nate. 409 00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,905 This is about you and me 410 00:38:59,988 --> 00:39:01,406 and our friendship, and if you wanna 411 00:39:01,489 --> 00:39:03,575 throw it away, then fine. 412 00:39:03,658 --> 00:39:07,245 'Cause I don't wanna be fucking friends with you. 413 00:39:07,329 --> 00:39:09,539 Come here, babe. Let's go. 414 00:39:10,832 --> 00:39:14,085 I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of it. 415 00:39:14,169 --> 00:39:17,881 He put me through hell and now he's with my fucking best friend? 416 00:39:17,964 --> 00:39:20,217 Like, what the fuck? 417 00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:23,386 It's fucked up. - When is it gonna end? 418 00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:24,888 It's fucked up. 419 00:39:30,727 --> 00:39:32,979 Open the fucking door, Cassie! 420 00:39:33,063 --> 00:39:34,940 Open the fucking door! 421 00:39:35,023 --> 00:39:36,608 She's not gonna open it. Let's just go. 422 00:39:36,691 --> 00:39:38,276 Open the door! 423 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,446 Maddy, come on. 424 00:39:41,529 --> 00:39:44,074 You're a fucking coward. 425 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,409 You're a fucking coward, 426 00:39:46,493 --> 00:39:49,537 and I would've never done this to you. 427 00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:52,040 I would've never done this to you. 428 00:42:03,713 --> 00:42:06,091 Am I everything you wished for? 429 00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:30,448 I would love for you to fuck me... 430 00:42:30,532 --> 00:42:34,411 whenever and... however you want. 431 00:42:38,540 --> 00:42:41,126 You can control what I wear... 432 00:42:42,210 --> 00:42:43,503 what I eat... 433 00:42:49,050 --> 00:42:51,010 who I talk to. 434 00:42:55,056 --> 00:42:58,351 I want every guy you know to wanna fuck me... 435 00:42:59,519 --> 00:43:01,271 but they can't. 436 00:43:02,856 --> 00:43:05,233 Because they know I'm yours. 437 00:43:06,443 --> 00:43:08,194 I belong to you... 438 00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:12,615 and I will never complain 439 00:43:12,699 --> 00:43:15,326 because I trust you know what's best. 440 00:43:24,252 --> 00:43:27,464 Aren't you afraid people are gonna look down on ya? 441 00:43:31,926 --> 00:43:33,678 At least I'm loved. 442 00:43:48,234 --> 00:43:50,195 Jake and Marta's relationship 443 00:43:50,278 --> 00:43:52,906 was our first impression of love. 444 00:43:54,657 --> 00:43:57,660 No one's ever loved me as much as you. 445 00:43:57,744 --> 00:43:59,287 No one ever will. 446 00:45:47,145 --> 00:45:49,439 Shh, shh, shh. 447 00:45:52,525 --> 00:45:54,110 It's just a dream. 448 00:45:55,445 --> 00:45:58,656 - Shh... Quiet. 449 00:46:24,349 --> 00:46:27,644 But every relationship has its cracks. 450 00:46:30,229 --> 00:46:32,774 Some bigger than others. 451 00:46:35,443 --> 00:46:38,863 - I'm afraid to tell him. - Mm-hm. 452 00:46:38,947 --> 00:46:41,532 Do you think he's gonna cry? 453 00:46:41,616 --> 00:46:45,286 - He might. - Mm, don't say that. 454 00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:47,747 - But he might. 455 00:46:47,830 --> 00:46:49,374 I just feel bad. 456 00:46:51,209 --> 00:46:54,128 Bad enough to stay in East Highland for the rest of your life? 457 00:46:55,004 --> 00:46:56,255 Fuck no. 458 00:46:57,590 --> 00:46:59,801 Oh, you've made your decision. 459 00:47:02,762 --> 00:47:04,972 I just feel like I'm gonna break his heart. 460 00:47:06,099 --> 00:47:07,976 - It's good practice. 461 00:47:11,729 --> 00:47:13,231 I got you something. 462 00:47:13,314 --> 00:47:15,942 - What? You didn't have to. - I know. 463 00:47:18,528 --> 00:47:20,363 Somethin' tells me you'll enjoy it. 464 00:47:48,641 --> 00:47:50,184 Ugh, hurry up! 465 00:47:51,811 --> 00:47:53,062 Okay, this is it, people! 466 00:47:53,146 --> 00:47:56,023 It's fuckin' showtime! Let's go! 467 00:47:56,107 --> 00:47:58,943 I need more energy, passion! 468 00:47:59,026 --> 00:48:01,487 - More glycerol, Sarah. - But it makes my skin break out. 469 00:48:01,571 --> 00:48:02,905 I don't fuckin' care. 470 00:48:04,532 --> 00:48:05,867 - You ready? - Yeah, I'm fuckin' ready. 471 00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:07,326 - Yeah, you ready? - Yeah, I'm fuckin' re— 472 00:48:10,079 --> 00:48:12,999 Okay, Bobbi. if Mick fucks up another light cue, 473 00:48:13,082 --> 00:48:14,125 I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. 474 00:48:14,208 --> 00:48:15,334 Mick, you were two seconds 475 00:48:15,418 --> 00:48:16,544 too late on that light cue. 476 00:48:16,627 --> 00:48:18,212 Lexi is very angry with you. 477 00:48:19,589 --> 00:48:21,549 Copy that. I'm really sorry. 478 00:48:24,677 --> 00:48:26,846 He says sorry. - Okay, I don't fuckin' care. 479 00:48:26,929 --> 00:48:28,931 Tell him we'll replace him. 480 00:48:29,015 --> 00:48:32,518 - We don't have anyone to replace him with. - Just threaten him. 481 00:48:34,020 --> 00:48:36,564 Mick, I am relaying a message directly from Lexi. 482 00:48:36,647 --> 00:48:39,192 If you mess up again, we will replace you. 483 00:48:39,275 --> 00:48:40,651 With who? 484 00:48:40,735 --> 00:48:44,030 - He's asking with who. - Literally anybody. Any— 485 00:48:44,113 --> 00:48:48,743 Mick, Mick, y-you— A blind three-year-old could do a better job than you. 486 00:49:22,276 --> 00:49:25,613 All right, babe. Time for me and the boys to work out. 487 00:49:38,459 --> 00:49:40,628 You guys are so gay. 488 00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:51,764 - Babe, that's not funny. 489 00:49:51,848 --> 00:49:55,601 By the way, your friend never came to pick up his ticket. 490 00:49:55,685 --> 00:49:57,061 Oh, yeah, yeah. 491 00:49:57,144 --> 00:49:58,437 Man... 492 00:49:59,188 --> 00:50:00,648 Whoo! 493 00:50:24,964 --> 00:50:27,258 Tie... no tie? 494 00:50:27,341 --> 00:50:30,678 I think you look handsome with no tie. 495 00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:33,097 All right, fuck this shit then. 496 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,685 Yo, you think, uh... 497 00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:41,272 you think other people will think that I look handsome? 498 00:50:41,939 --> 00:50:43,024 I do. 499 00:50:44,066 --> 00:50:47,737 Cool... I'm finna go put my pants on. 500 00:51:27,735 --> 00:51:29,862 How ya doin', playa? 501 00:51:55,471 --> 00:51:58,766 All right, uh... I'm finna head out. 502 00:51:58,849 --> 00:52:00,309 Wait, you're, uh, you're leavin'? 503 00:52:02,311 --> 00:52:03,938 Yeah, I'm about to leave right now. 504 00:52:10,277 --> 00:52:13,531 Is-is everything good? 505 00:52:13,614 --> 00:52:15,324 All right, c'mon. Get outta here. 506 00:52:15,408 --> 00:52:17,702 Run along, babe. 507 00:52:19,078 --> 00:52:21,455 Man, whoo! 508 00:52:21,539 --> 00:52:23,499 All right. Come on, tiger. 509 00:52:26,002 --> 00:52:27,753 Come on, let's pump some iron, boys! 510 00:52:31,465 --> 00:52:33,592 Hey, Paulie. Could you rub a smidgen of oil on my back? 511 00:52:33,676 --> 00:52:36,804 I can't reach. My pecs are gettin' too freakin' big. 512 00:52:36,887 --> 00:52:38,055 Anything for you, Jake. 513 00:52:38,139 --> 00:52:41,308 Hey, Jake. Your body's fantastic. Can I help? 514 00:55:40,446 --> 00:55:42,573 Lexi, you're a fuckin' G! 515 00:56:06,222 --> 00:56:07,556 It's goin' good, right? 516 00:56:08,849 --> 00:56:11,727 She's brilliant. Lexi's brilliant. 517 00:56:13,729 --> 00:56:15,689 - Nate. - Why the fuck are they laughing? 518 00:56:15,773 --> 00:56:18,150 - Nate! - That shit is so fuckin' homophobic. 519 00:56:18,234 --> 00:56:19,944 Babe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea Lex— 520 00:56:20,027 --> 00:56:21,612 - She's your fuckin' sister! - No, I— 521 00:56:21,695 --> 00:56:23,614 - I, I— No— - You know what, pack your shit. Get the fuck outta my house. 522 00:56:23,697 --> 00:56:25,032 I'm fuckin' done.