Sam, please.
Sam, please just… Please just say something.
Say anything.
Please.
Honestly, Percy, what is there to say?
No, I would've expected this from Charlie, but…
…but you?
Yes, I slept with him.
It was ten years ago. I was, I was 17. I was a kid, okay?
I made a huge mistake.
I've regretted it my whole life.
You know how much I love you.
And I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- Sam, please… - Don't.
Just don't.
I wish I didn't have to go to work.
I know. Me, too.
I wish… so many things.
What are you thinking?
Same thing you are thinking.
I know, I want to, I…
- Uh, no, I know. I know. I know. - I…
And hey. I won't be ready till you are.
I know, but I really want to be ready.
Hey, we have all the time in the world.
Oh, shit, I set an alert.
Your mom's gonna kill me if I'm late again.
So…
Oh, just can you, can you stay five more minutes, please?
No. No. I'm-I'm not facing Sue's wrath today, not even for you.
Okay, fine.
Time to get to work.
Really? Here?
You drive me crazy when you toss those garbage bags.
You say I'm the weirdo. I think you might be the weirdo.
- That's probably true. - Mm.
I love you, Percy Fraser.
I love you, too, Weirdo Florek.
Guess what?
What?
I'm ready.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Are you sure?
I mean, not right this minute, here, but…
yeah. I am.
Jesus, you two. Get a room already.
Hi, it's me again.
It's now 5:00 a.m. Would you please just call me back?
I really need to speak to you. I'm begging you.
Fuck.
Hi.
I'll be right there. Mm-hmm.
Sam.
I know you know.
And I can try to explain it, but that just seems pointless.
I get it, you hate my guts.
So, go ahead, man.
Lay into me. You know, give it your best shot.
I deserve it.
Come on, Sammy. Nothing?
You're obviously pissed. I'd be pissed, too.
Don't just sit there. I mean…
Say something.
I'm not surprised.
What?
You just did the only thing you know how to do.
Like the scorpion who stings the frog in the fable.
Scorpion can't help it, it's just in his nature to poison things. Just like you.
It's not that simple, and you know it.
You don't think I've been tortured by that stupid mistake for all these years?
Honestly? I don't think you're capable of remorse.
We were kids.
No, this conversation's over.
Here's how it's gonna go.
We'll finish the week in Barry's Bay, lay Mom to rest,
and then you'll go back to your life, I'll go back to mine.
We're done.
- Understood? - Sam…
You're dead to me.
I got it.
We just, we got to go pick up Mom's ashes today.
No, we don't. I will be doing that by myself, without you.
Fine.
What are you doing? This is my home.
Why are you taking things out of it? Th-These are my things.
Sir?
This is my chair.
Sir?
- Whoa. - These are my things!
Delilah, what is going on?
I don't know. I thought that Whit and I were on good terms.
S-Sir, you need to, you need to put booties on.
There's a strict "no shoes" policy for staff.
Can you believe this?
I just woke up to movers removing "Whit's stuff."
These are important pieces,
which I chose, by the way.
They're saying I have to vacate the premises…
by the time that Whit gets here at noon.
I'm sorry, I don't think so.
Whit's coming at noon, today?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, let's get you inside.
Let's get you cleaned up. Come on.
Come on.
It's okay. It's okay.
- I love that chair. - I know.
This is my house.
I mean, he paid for it, but I'm the one that made it beautiful.
- I have sweat equity. That's a thing. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Why should I have to be the one to leave? I don't…
No, no, no, no, wait. Primer first.
No, that's hyaluronic acid.
Yeah.
Why are your eyes puffy? Have you been crying?
I…
I, um…
Yesterday…
My allergies are just rough. I, um, I'm fine.
Wait, aren't you in the same outfit as yesterday?
Hey, why don't I call Chantal. Maybe she can help.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Hi, uh, I'm with Delilah, and we need some-some legal advice.
Make it fast, though, I'm in a fishing contest with Jordie.
- We are neck and neck. - She's lying.
She hasn't caught a single one.
I'm sorry, what?
Also, why are you always with Jordie?
I'm not. I was on a jog, and…
he was fishing by the pond, and fishing's always looked fun to me.
Oh, really? Is that so?
Compared to playing nursemaid to Drew all day, yes.
Anyway, you, uh, didn't come back to the motel last night.
You had a fun night?
The opposite.
What happened? Tell me.
It's been kind of terrible.
It is terrible. It's a nightmare.
Percy, are you okay?
No, no, no. Do not take that.
- I got that at auction. - Hey.
Why don't we get, uh, Chantal's expert opinion, okay?
Hi. You are on speaker, so please keep this PG.
Whit is trying to kick Delilah out of the house. Movers showed up today
- with no warning… - At the crack of dawn.
Mm-hmm.
We were amicable.
Uh, let me be clear, Delilah. "Amicable" is a temporary delusion.
You are at war, and this is your first battle.
Whatever you do, do not leave the premises.
Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
Uh, understood. Th-Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Seriously, Percy, are you okay?
All good. I got to go. Thank you.
Wh…
Thank you, Percy.
I-I-I don't know what I would've done without you.
You're a… really good friend.
Glad I could help.
Come here real quick.
I have something to tell you.
Was that what you needed to tell me?
No. It's better.
My parents left this morning for that wedding in Tacoma,
and they're not back until Sunday night.
- Is that so? - Mm-hmm.
Hmm. And we're both off Saturday night.
Mm.
- Interesting. - Yeah, I wonder what we're gonna do.
Un-Unless you changed your mind?
Oh, no, trust me, it's all I can think about.
Me, too.
But we have to be smart about it.
Mm-hmm.
Can you… steal some condoms from Charlie?
Not necessary. Remember when my mom walked in on us in the basement?
Yeah, when my top was off? I still can't look her in the eye, so…
Yeah, well, the next day, she bought me this huge box from Costco.
I mean, she drove all the way to Vancouver for them.
Oh. Okay, then I guess we are set for life.
Yes, we are.
Oh, there you are.
- Delilah. - Hi.
Surprise.
You're here.
Wait, I-I thought you were coming on Sunday.
Yeah, I was, but my schedule changed, so I thought why not just come early.
You know?
Also, I have to talk to you about some stuff.
- Um… - Oh, my God, me, too.
Sam and I, we're finally ready.
We're doing it. Saturday night.
- Oh. - Yeah.
- Okay. Cool. - Yeah.
What? That's it? I thought you, of all people,
would throw a parade or something.
Wh… No, it-it's fantastic.
Yay. Finally, right?
Uh, anyway, when does your shift end?
Uh, 5:30, I think. Is everything okay?
Mm-hmm. Hopefully.
I'll… I can… I'll tell you later.
Okay, cool. Well, the house is unlocked,
so you can drop your stuff, whatever, relax.
- Okay? - Okay, perfect. Don't be late.
I'll just be waiting for you.
Oh, I don't think I can get through this.
You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine.
- Possession is nine-tenths of the law. - Oh, my God. That's him.
Um, wait, do I-I look okay? Do I have anything in my teeth?
No, no, no, you're perfect.
Remember, strength and confidence…
- Mm-hmm. - …there-there's nothing
you can't work through like adults.
Barney?
- He sent Barney? - Who's Barney?
His weasel of an assistant. He's always hated me.
- Pleasure to see you, too, Delilah. - Oh, whatever, Barney.
What the hell is going on? Where is my husband?
- This is unacceptable. - Now, Delilah, in case your lawyer here…
Oh, no, I'm not a lawyer. Not even close to a lawyer.
Ah, came unarmed.
Fun. In that case,
I'm gonna advise you to choose your next words very carefully.
Okay?
This isn't personal. Although, you are right to say I never liked you.
I didn't. I don't.
But I'm here purely in a professional capacity,
to deliver this message from Whit.
Well, you can deliver this message to him.
This is my home, and I'm not going anywhere.
- Possession is nine-tenths of the law. - Mm-hmm.
Your prenuptial agreement included a clause on adultery. Ugh.
So… Yeah.
Unless you're willing to forfeit your rights to any of Whit's estate,
I suggest you vacate the premises within the hour.
I'm gonna make a call.
Yeah. That's my favorite one.
Possession is nine… it's nine-tenths of the law.
Hi, hi, uh, it's me again. Um, he's got photos of her and Charlie.
Should she still
stand her ground?
Photos? Oh, yeah, no, you got to get the fuck out of there.
- She could lose everything. - Copy.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
Hey, come here.
Chantal says we've got to get the fuck out of here, or you could lose everything.
- Seriously? - Mm-hmm.
Clock's ticking, ladies.
Great lawyering, by the way.
Enough, Barney.
All this 'cause I couldn't resist stupid Charlie Florek.
Hello?
Yes, I'm looking for Charlie or Sam Florek.
This is Charlie.
It's Howard from the mortuary.
You were supposed to pick your mother's remains up by 9:00. It's after 11:00.
Uh, my brother was supposed to pick them up.
- Are you saying he didn't show? - No.
Hey, it's me again.
Uh, I just picked up Mom's ashes.
Look, I know you're pissed, but just tell me you're okay, please.
One-word text.
I'm gonna keep hounding you until you do, Sam, so…
Bye.
Okay, so love life,
what's your story, Jordie?
If that is, in fact, your name?
- You're relentless. - I'm waiting.
Savannah and I met senior year of college.
She was my first real girlfriend.
Okay, first love. Little late, but nice.
Uh, well, not first, but maybe first that loved me back.
Interesting. Okay, unrequited love first.
You contain multitudes, Jordie. So what happened?
It was my senior year, and I was getting lots of attention.
NBA teams were looking at me.
They took us out to nice dinners,
uh, to look at cars. I sat in a Porsche.
It was too small for me, but I looked good in it.
Mm-hmm. So, let me guess, you got cocky and thought you could do better.
Are you paying attention? She broke up with me.
Right.
And why do you assume I was the asshole?
I don't know. It's… just, uh, my go-to. I think all men are.
- Is Drew? - No.
No, he is a very good person.
Sometimes, it's uncomfortable.
Yeah, they have medication for what you have.
Oh, yeah? Do they?
Whatever. What happened?
I got injured.
She realized the good life wasn't coming for me, ergo for her,
and she dumped me.
I guess assholery isn't just a man's game.
Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. - Okay, nice and easy.
- It's gonna be your first fish, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you gonna…
Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
What the hell, Jordie?
- Ah, what now? - Oh, shit.
I've called and texted you,
- like, 20 times. - It got away.
- I was busy. - Yeah?
Well, Sam's missing. Still too busy to talk to me?
What do you mean Sam's missing?
Did he and Taylor maybe head off to go celebrate their engagement?
- That didn't happen. Sam ended things. - What? Why?
Let me guess, this has something to do with you being a prick.
Yo, yo, yo, what's the word, baby bird?
You're in a good mood.
Why shouldn't I be? I just came from the company of a lovely lass I met last night.
"Lass"?
What, did you just watch Austin Powers or something?
Maybe.
Oh, did you happen to catch this lass's name?
Wise-ass. Matter of fact, I did.
Her name is Ruby.
Bit of a cougar, but I was up for the task.
You're a dog.
Not everyone can find "lurve" like you and my baby brother.
Mock all you want.
No. No, no, no. Not at all.
He's lucky to have you, Percy.
Thanks, Charlie.
- Hello. - Hi.
My shift is over in a minute.
I know. I'm gonna miss you so much.
I'll miss you so much.
Hey, guys.
Hey! Thing One and Thing Two.
- Sorry, she's leaving. Geez. - I'm going!
No, hey, I was gonna say you should take the night off.
- Huh? - Say what?
Yeah, Mom's coming in soon, and we're all staffed up.
Besides, you two need to be alone.
In a private place.
By yourselves.
Seriously? You'd do that for me?
Believe me, it's just as much for me as it is for you.
Your blue balls affect everyone around.
- Dude. Okay. - Ew, Charlie.
Why don't you guys go before I change my mind.
- Oh, my God. - Thank God you're here.
You almost gave me a heart attack. I'm so happy you're here.
- Why? What happened? - Charlie gave Sam the night off.
I know. I can't believe it. It's a freaking miracle.
Okay, so… what? I'm-I'm lost.
So what? We don't have to wait until Saturday to do it.
It's happening tonight. Like, right now.
Oh. Okay.
As soon as I get changed.
I don't know what to wear. Uh… How about this?
Yeah?
This is too frilly, right? Yeah.
Oh, how about this? This is better, right?
Okay, and now, you got to help prepare me, and-and-and don't hold back.
I know it's gonna hurt, but is it gonna be, like,
really painful and then get better?
Or is it gonna, like, low-key hurt the whole time?
What's wrong?
Um…
What, do you think we're rushing into it? We're making a mistake?
No, no, not… not at all.
Okay, then why that look?
Look, I know things with you and Miles have been, um,
not great since you guys did it, but
do you think, do you think that's gonna happen with me and Sam?
No. No. Miles is a jerk,
and I'm happy I'm not with him. Um…
- Actually… - Good, he did not deserve you.
The way he acted at that party was…
Ah. Okay, wait, you didn't tell me if it's gonna hurt.
Here's the thing, it is, it is going to hurt.
And there's no way around that, but just try to relax. Think about…
like, melting butter.
- Okay, that makes me more nervous. - Don't be.
Don't be. It's gonna be great
'cause you and Sam love each other and you always have.
Thank you, Delilah. You're the best friend in the whole world.
Feels big, you know?
Like I'm starting a whole new chapter.
Well, you would know. You're already there.
I can't wait to catch up on it all.
After the whole world's changed.
Oh, um, you can eat anything you want. I think there's pizza in the fridge.
Just go, Percy. Have fun.
Well, look who it is.
You just get into town?
Hello?
Earth to Delilah. Need some help?
Uh, no, I'm…
Actually, I'm-I'm good. I'm, uh, just leaving, so…
Hey, uh, Delilah, what's-what's going on? What's up?
Hey, I know I act like a doofus,
but, um, I'm actually a pretty good listener.
It's really bad.
It's really…
…bad.
Hey.
Hey, hey.
Delilah, it's going to be okay.
You're going to be okay.
I'm gonna need this. Oh, God.
This is Le Creuset. I need…
- Gonna need this. - Chop, chop.
Let's go, ladies.
- This isn't T.J. Maxx. - Oh. Thanks. I'm aware.
This is my home that I poured my heart into.
- That was bankrolled by my boss. - Oh.
- How dare you? You little shit! - Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Let's take the temperature down and stay focused on the task at hand.
You've got one more minute, and then I'm calling the authorities.
Dude, we're going. Could you cool your jets? Hurry.
- I'm trying. I don't have enough hands. - Just give it to me, give it to me.
Oh, in five.
Four. Three.
- Two. - We're going.
Would you shut the fuck up, Barney?
- What am I gonna do now? - I've got you. Don't worry.
You got to be fucking kidding me.
It was a long time ago. What's done is done.
Holy shit.
Wow, bro, this is a new low.
You know that, right? Even for you.
You really went as low as you could go, and then went like,
"Give me a shovel. I can go lower."
Okay, can we stop throwing insults and just focus on finding Sam?
I'm not the one throwing insults.
Yeah, well, I'm not the one sleeping with my brother's girlfriend!
It was one time.
And they were broken up.
Still no answer from Sam, after 17 tries.
Yeah, Percy's not answering, either.
Percy. Can we just talk about that for a second?
I still can't believe that she would do that to Sam.
- It was ten years ago. - That's what I said.
- And he dumped her. - I said that, too.
And in a really shitty way, I might add. He's not a saint in this scenario.
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is not the court of law.
Nobody cares about a technicality.
Gross. I can't even look at you, dude.
Then stop looking and keep trying Sam.
Fuck. I mean, where could he be?
If anything happened to him… I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Okay, this is the one. I can feel it.
That's what you said about The Moose, the Commons,
- the one before the Commons. - The Hideaway.
Yeah, but this is where Sam came every day for a month after Percy ghosted him.
Rooster's.
I'm a paying customer, sir. I have rights.
Dude, you're wasted. It's time to go home. We'll call you a cab.
I'm a doctor, sir. I-I think I would know if I were too inebriated to be served.
Would someone who's inebriated use that kind of vocabulary? I don't think so.
I-I don't care what your day job is. I'm kicking you out.
Let's do this the easy way, okay?
Just get up, and you go out the door.
Okay, well, he's alive.
Yeah, and about to get his ass kicked.
There's two ways to do this, I'd rather do it the easy way.
- All right, I got this. - Are you high?
You're the reason he's here looking like that.
Get out of my bar!
- Hey, bud. How you doing? - Hi.
So, this is it.
Well, yeah. That's… everything.
No, I mean… this is my life now.
My entire life in…
in one motel room.
I'm sorry. I know you weren't… happy, but this is…
it's really hard.
I knew it wasn't right the day that I married him.
But everyone just kept saying how perfect we were for each other,
so I just thought or…
…just hoped…
that if we looked good together, then maybe one day we would be good together.
- It's just so stupid. So… - No, it's not. It's not at all.
That feels nice. Thank you.
Thank you for being here for me.
I know you have all your own… drama to deal with.
It's not important right now. You're my focus.
Oh, hi there.
Hi.
Oh, wait, wait. I almost forgot.
One second.
Oh, my God, you really thought of everything.
Sorry.
Please hold.
Okay. For real this time.
I love you so much.
I've waited for this night for, like…
Ever. Me, too.
Hello?
Sam?
Percy?
I know you're in there!
Something must be up.
What the hell, dude? Somebody better be dead.
I need to talk to Percy now.
Me?
Yeah, you. Alone. Now.
Fine.
I'm going to try to get through this without punching a wall,
but I got to tell you I'm pretty fucking pissed.
At me? What the heck did I do?
It's what you didn't do.
Have you even noticed Delilah here?
Y-Yes, of course.
She's staying with me. I just saw her earlier.
Yeah, you saw her, but did you notice anything unusual about her?
About your best friend?
Since the minute she got here?
Dude, I-I don't know what you're talking about.
This is like the most important night for me and Sam
and you're really killing the vibe.
Okay, Percy, she's in trouble.
What are you talking about?
She literally helped me get ready, like, an hour ago.
If there were something wrong, she would've told me.
- We tell each other… - She's pregnant.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Uh, Sam, I have to go.
Thank you. Thank you, Jordie.
What the fuck?
Yo, rain check, dude.
Don't worry, we can hang. I got you.
This, this is the asshole that won't serve me.
What the fuck is he doing here?
Uh, it's okay, dude. We were just worried about you, man.
Yeah, let's get you home, Sam.
No, fuck this!
- Uh… okay. - No, no, no.
- No worries. - Everything's fine. Everything's fine.
- Just relax. - You…
you have the balls to come near me after you
- stab me in the back? - It's all right.
Okay, let's talk about this at home, buddy.
No, I'm-I'm-I'm not your buddy.
Okay, you don't have any buddies
'cause you are a poison-ass spider and everybody knows it.
Okay, I think maybe we should take this outside now.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
You-you-you are just as bad.
I mean, you helped her steal The Tavern.
That's-that's our…
That's Mom's.
But you probably don't give a shit, do you?
Did you know?
Did Percy tell you about her and Charlie?
Did you know that they slept together?
You guys probably fucking laughed about it, huh? You thought that was funny.
You thought, thought making me look like an idiot would be funny…
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey. All right, all right, just back off, okay?
You don't talk to the little lady that way
or I'm gonna teach you some manners myself.
Okay, I appreciate the sentiment but I'm no one's "little lady."
And this is actually an internal situation,
so if you could just…
Okay, don't get your panties in a bunch.
What did you just say?
Oh, no, you did not just say that.
What are you going to do about it, crazy bitch?
Okay, everybody, let's just all calm down…
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no, no. I-I did not mean to.
Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. That's on me. That's on me. Sorry.
Oh, Charlie, Charlie.
Before I… hey, before I forget. One thing I got to…
Get him out of here.
He's gonna be fine. He's fine.
Let's go.
We're leaving, we're leaving.
Jesus.
Oh, I got him.
I got him. I'm not even drunk.
All right, show's over.
- Ow. - Oh, does it hurt?
Well, it doesn't feel great.
I mean, you throw a mean-ass punch.
Sorry.
I'm impressed.
How much blood?
Mm, it's not too bad, actually.
Do I kind of look like a badass?
Yes, um, very…
very tough guy.
Okay, now, shh. Just hold still.
It's really, it's not so bad.
Excuse me. Thanks.
Well…
they were all very understanding once I laid down 500 bucks.
I was just, um, cleaning Jordie's…
Just injur… injured. Very.
How's he doing?
Uh, he's been better.
I wish I could say he'll sleep it off, but…
I know that's not possible.
One stupid impulse in a moment
and you can ruin everything.
Delilah.
Delilah, wait.
Please stop, Delilah. Please.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Jordie told me everything, and I get that you're furious
and you might not want to forgive me right now,
but, Delilah…
I just want to be with you.
Will you please, please just let me come with you?
Even if you don't talk to me the whole way.
Wherever you're going, whatever you're doing,
or-or not doing,
even if you just want to sit in this driveway in silence, forever…
will you please just let me in?
Please?
I'm sorry.
Hey.
Oh, I did not know you were with her.
Is, is she…
Asleep. Yeah.
What's, um…?
Chantal.
Why on earth…?
Story for another day.
Okay.
Look, Jordie, I know you…
probably heard about what happened.
I don't want to talk about it.
Like, any of it.
I understand.
I don't deserve to explain or ask forgiveness.
No, uh, it's just not my business.
I hurt your friend.
Well, you hurt each other.
Yeah.
But I guess, you know, love can do that to people.
It's powerful shit.
Uh, how's she doing?
She's okay.
I think.
Or maybe not.
I mean, are any of us okay?
I just want to be there for her,
whatever she needs.
Me, too.
I'll make sure you both get coffee in the morning.
Thanks, Jordie.
She's really lucky to have you.
Right back at ya.
Uh, Drew, I, um…
…I have to tell you something.
Sure.
What's up, hon?
I-I almost kissed someone tonight and…
D-Did you, did you hear what I said?
Yeah.
I just… Sorry, I just, uh…
What?
I, um…
I-I-I didn't see it coming.
There-there was like a, there was a bloody nose
and I was dabbing it and then we got really close, but…
…nothing happened.
I feel really bad.
I…
Should, should I not have told you that?
I'm glad you told me.
It means we can always be honest with each other.
It's not a big deal.
It kind of feels like it is.
We're getting married, babe.
We're not dead.
You found someone attractive
but you didn't do anything.
I guess, yeah.
Who was it?
It was Jordie.
Are you, like…
Are you into him?
No. No, I-I-I…
I don't really know him.
I've only known him, like, six days, but…
I mean, but I do know him, just like, not-not really.
Do you not want to get married?
I don't know.
And I feel like I always know, so that, that means something, right?
What are you trying to say?
Barry's Bay, it's changing me, and I-I don't, I don't like it,
or-or I'm-I'm scared of it, but…
but it's happening.
I need a minute.
Okay…
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- Hey. - Hi.
I missed you. Feels like forever.
I know.
I'm sorry, it's been a rough couple of days.
It feels like an eternity.
Yeah.
How's Delilah?
She's okay.
I'm still so grateful that she let me come with her,
even after I was such a bad friend.
Hey, you weren't a bad friend. You're human.
Okay? You can't keep beating yourself up.
Uh, want to bet?
Anyway, she's doing okay.
That Miles is such an asshole.
You know, he didn't even show up or chip in a dime.
Can you believe that?
- That sucks. - Yeah.
The whole thing made me so grateful for you.
But it also scared me.
You know, things can go really wrong.
Yeah.
They can.
But they won't. Not for us.
Okay?
I love you.
I love you, too.
And I'm still ready.
Now?
- Mm-hmm. - Seriously?
Should I get the candles? I can get the rose petals…
No, no, no. All I need is right here.
Okay, should I at least brush my teeth?
Just shut up and kiss me.
Hey.
I'll leave this right by your bedside, buddy, in case you need it.
You were the only family I had left.
I know.
I fucked up.
I'm sorry.
I still love her.