1 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,912 Oh, hi, you guys. How was school? 2 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,164 Eh, it was fine. 3 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:42,709 But we had a substitute bully today and he was doing it wrong. 4 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,544 Okay, it says "tape sign on back." 5 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,671 Is that… Is that your back, my back? 6 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,632 I-I got to be honest, I only got called in 45 minutes ago. 7 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,469 Just pinch my nipples and get out of here. 8 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,721 We need you to sign these permission slips. 9 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,307 We're taking a school field trip to Washington DC. 10 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,268 Great, bring 'em here and I'll give you my John Hancock. 11 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,979 - Who's that? - I'm sorry, I mean my Lane Bryant. 12 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,939 Well, just say that, then. 13 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:13,698 Big day, gentlemen. It's the one day a year Peter eats a salad. 14 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,202 Poor bastard. No one should have to go through that hell. 15 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:20,580 He made a promise to Lois. It was actually in their wedding vows. 16 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,333 All right, let's get this over with. 17 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,586 I brought the whitest-looking lettuce from McDonald's I could find. 18 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,214 I'm hoping it has McNugget smell accidentally on it. 19 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:33,301 I brought today's newspaper like you asked so you'd have proof of salad. 20 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,303 Got it. 21 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,144 I love my wife. I love my wife. 22 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,854 I love my wife. 23 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,827 And inside this local tavern, 24 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:02,372 a portly gentleman has just consumed his annual salad. 25 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,832 I'm Garrison Keillor, 26 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:09,170 and I was "MeToo'd" for quaintly groping, so now I'm doing this. 27 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:17,220 So, Chris, Meg, you guys excited for your big trip to Washington DC? 28 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:20,181 Yeah. The cool kids are bringing a candy-colored version 29 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,351 of whatever drug the media is most freaking parents out about. 30 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,061 - What? - Relax, Mom. 31 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,605 We're being supervised by public school employees 32 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,817 who themselves are battling their own crippling addictions. 33 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,318 Peter, are you hearing this? 34 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,321 I'm not. I'm chewing Cap'n Crunch, I can't hear anything. 35 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,410 I just worry, but I guess that's what moms do. 36 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:44,289 Well, that and give you a recap of everyone who's died that you don't know. 37 00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,291 You know, Leonard died. 38 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,876 - Who? - Leonard. 39 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,295 - Okay. - Estelle's pretty upset. 40 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,505 And right on the heels of Abner. 41 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,091 - Uh-huh. - You should probably call Edith. 42 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,010 I'll give you Alfred's number. 43 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,803 Who the hell are these people? 44 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,764 Is this just an excuse to say old people's names? 45 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,018 Vivian. 46 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,409 Huh. 47 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,463 What's the matter? You look upset. 48 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:37,467 Eh, it's just, Joe's been pretty stingy with his "ha ha's" over text. 49 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,677 I think you're probably reading into that. 50 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:43,473 No, seriously. Cleveland sends some lame crap and Joe "ha ha's" it. 51 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:47,227 I send a photo of me hanging a foreclosure notice over a toilet, nothing. 52 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,979 I'm telling you, he never laughs at anything of mine. 53 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,106 He must have given you one at some point. 54 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,775 I mean, sure, at some point. 55 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:28,685 Oh, my God. He's literally never given me one. 56 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,395 Joe doesn't think I'm funny? 57 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:33,481 Oh, thank God you're here. You know funny when you hear it. 58 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:37,402 Hey, Ostrich, did you hear that crazy story about the monkey's favorite food? 59 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,153 It's bananas. 60 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,328 Hey, gang, I know you're not used to seeing your teachers in shorts, 61 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,039 so let's get it all out of the way. 62 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,335 They're just legs, guys. Oh, one more thing. 63 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,213 We do have a surprise chaperone for this trip. 64 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,925 Everyone say hi to Chris and Meg's mom, Lois Griffin. 65 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,303 Aah! Woot, woot! 66 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,264 Did somebody say "cool mom with an Activia fanny pack"? 67 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,975 They give you a free one if you send in enough lids. 68 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,519 I've got two fanny packs and a very healthy colon. 69 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,355 Our chaperone is Mom? 70 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:18,359 You're lucky. My mother died last year after a long illness. 71 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:22,530 You got your GoFundMe money, so shut up! 72 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,748 Mom, what the hell are you doing here? 73 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,833 Are you trying to kill our reputation? 74 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:37,754 Oh, relax, you two. I'm gonna be the cool mom, huh? 75 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,506 I may even have the kids call me Mrs. G. 76 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,467 Mrs. G. 77 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,760 Can you imagine? 78 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,179 Just like Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life. 79 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,097 Nobody knows who that is. 80 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,892 Come on. Tootie? Blair? Jo? 81 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,518 Bitch, what you talking about? 82 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,897 Just settle down, you guys. I promise I won't embarrass you. 83 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,275 Okay, everyone, I've got candy. 84 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,986 Everybody reach in but just take one. 85 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,406 Fanny candy? Fanny candy? Fanny candy? 86 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,617 Oh, my God, this is terrible. 87 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,496 This is more embarrassing than when I tried to return that RealDoll. 88 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:15,917 Uh, yes, hello, I would like to return my RealDoll. 89 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,961 Okay, and what condition is the doll in? 90 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,923 Um, let's say "fair." 91 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:24,509 - Any visible marks? - Some light choking. 92 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,345 We can't take the doll back if there are choke marks. 93 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,722 Oh, no, no, no, the choke marks are on me, 94 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,517 and in her defense, I did have it coming. 95 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,852 Actually, I don't want to return the RealDoll. 96 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,604 This is just part of the dance. 97 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:40,441 Oh, no. I didn't realize you were there the whole time. 98 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,653 I hope I'm not in for some light choking. 99 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,617 Why do you even care if Joe's never laughed at your texts? 100 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,371 Brian, I know it seems like I have it all, but even I, 101 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:57,959 a man with 15 Halloween masks, have my struggles with insecurity. 102 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,502 So, what are you gonna do? 103 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,088 I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. 104 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:06,217 From this day forward, I will never laugh at another one of Joe's texts. 105 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,269 His-his mind just works in a different way than mine. 106 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:18,521 Oh, no. Accidental heart, accidental heart. 107 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,273 Quick, replace it with a "ha ha." 108 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,234 Phew, that was close. I was almost gay. 109 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,362 Huh. Peter just came out of the closet. 110 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,488 Uh, no he didn't. 111 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,658 The heart emoji: careful, straight dudes! 112 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,289 Look at us. 113 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:39,292 Different generations enjoying a fancy resort. 114 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,628 - Mom, don't, please. - Quiet, Meg. 115 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:46,132 So, I saw a really funny TikTok. Do you know that one? 116 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:49,302 You're gonna have to be more specific. Which one? 117 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,721 Uh, there's-there's more than one? 118 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,306 Why is everyone leaving? 119 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,641 You're lame and we don't want to be with you. 120 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,436 Come on, guys, let's go watch CNBC in the lobby. 121 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,813 Yeah, I think I saw a bowl of bananas. 122 00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,783 God, those kids are a nightmare. 123 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,952 They're just so mean. 124 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,538 Just be thankful this isn't your entire life. 125 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,166 You get to go home at the end of all of this 126 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,251 to a family and someone you love. 127 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,214 Oh, come on, I'm sure there's someone special in your life. 128 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,841 You know, there was someone. 129 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,301 A long time ago. 130 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,932 It was 1993, and I was folding clothes at a Structure. 131 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,433 Everyone was, back then. 132 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,352 Then I saw her. 133 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,812 Shelly Barnes. 134 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,564 Boy, was she something. 135 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:47,944 Tall, tan. She was more scrunchie than woman. 136 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,032 We wanted the dream: 137 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,785 our own Taco Bell franchise. 138 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,037 But then it happened, 139 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,248 the one thing you never want to hear. 140 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,375 Hey, John. I was just thinking. 141 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,878 What if we open a Taco Bell/Pizza Hut? 142 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:15,179 The psychic who told me to do this never said anything about Pizza Hut. 143 00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:17,765 I was young and bullheaded. 144 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:21,227 I had these ideas of what fast food should be. 145 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,729 Worst part was, when I told her the bad news, 146 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,898 she threw my retainer right in the bushes. 147 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,527 I looked for a little bit, but eventually I just said, "Eh, screw it." 148 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,530 Anyway, that one argument consumed us. 149 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,657 Never saw Shelly again. 150 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,451 I'm so sorry to hear all that, Principal Shepherd. 151 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,371 Whew, what a day. 152 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,707 - I need a drink. - Jack on the rocks? 153 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:46,419 No, in the toilet, but I'll have that drink now. 154 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,259 Hey, Joe, you know, you might want to contact your cell carrier. 155 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,304 All your "ha ha's" are coming through as "thumbs up" lately. 156 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,888 - Oh, boy. - What's, uh… 157 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,516 What's with you never laughing at any of my texts? 158 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,268 Peter, maybe now's not the time. 159 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,062 - No, no, no, tell me. What is it? - Honestly? Nothing. 160 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,565 I just don't always think you're all that funny. 161 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,235 Wow. 162 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,529 Uh, okay. Wow. 163 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,198 Look, if I want someone to burp the national anthem, 164 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,576 there is no second call, it's you or nobody. 165 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,162 Thank you, Joe. Thank you for saying that. 166 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,956 When it comes to laughs, you're just not my cup of tea. 167 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,916 I've never even seen Austin Powers. 168 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,418 Oh, well, there you go! 169 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:31,213 All right, fellas, I got to run. Look, this doesn't change anything, Peter. 170 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,758 You're my friend. No hard feelings. 171 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,344 Oh yeah, no hard feelings, like your dink? 172 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,971 I'll see you around, Peter. 173 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,308 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna get a laugh from him. 174 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,435 Hmm. I'm not sure about that. 175 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,395 Seems like he's prayed on this one. 176 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,689 Well, I'm gonna give it the old college try. 177 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,193 - Are you gonna go to class? - No. 178 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,990 There you are. You're not gonna believe this. 179 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,201 They got the blood out of the ice machine? 180 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,287 - No, I found your ex on Facebook. - What? 181 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,916 Shelly Barnes. She lives only, like, 30 miles from here. 182 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,418 Hmm. Is 30 miles enough time 183 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,796 for me to get totally jacked before I see her? 184 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,799 You can do push-ups in the bus aisle. Let's go find her. 185 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,387 Hey, listen up. 186 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,138 Anyone seen Principal Shepherd? 187 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,141 He said he had to go to the men's room and he disappeared. 188 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,476 I'm not sure. 189 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,813 I think we're all finger-blasting anything that moves back here. 190 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,481 I'll be right back. 191 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,901 Excuse me, have you seen a heavyset, middle-aged man? 192 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:35,486 Kind of sad-looking? 193 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,076 Oh. 194 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,913 Hey, you know, there was a guy that left in a yellow cab a few minutes ago. 195 00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,457 He got the number from a magazine in his pocket. 196 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,502 I've never seen such stretched-out pockets on a sport coat. 197 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,129 Oh, my God, that's him. 198 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,256 Principal Shepherd must have run away. 199 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,800 Do you have any security footage from the lobby? 200 00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,886 Sorry, the only video we have is from the karaoke lounge. 201 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,805 He killed "Sublime", by the way. 202 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,441 Don't take those fries. I'm not done. 203 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:19,947 I-I… Ugh, I lost my place. Start it over from the top, Gene. 204 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,830 Okay, guys, Principal Shepherd is gone. 205 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,623 Did you check the karaoke lounge? 206 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,834 He got in a huge fight with that Gene guy. 207 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,711 I know you think adults are lame. 208 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,338 That we're just big bags of crap that drink coffee, 209 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,923 but we are people, too. 210 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,926 Most of the things you think are important now aren't. 211 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:45,181 Looks fade, waists expand, chins double and dreams die. 212 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,224 And one day, one day, you're gonna wish 213 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,518 that a bus full of punk kids would come along 214 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,228 and help when you need it most. 215 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,648 Now, that man is scared and alone, and he needs us right now. 216 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,941 Now, who's with me? 217 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,657 Wait a minute, if Principal Shepherd's gone, 218 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,284 who's gonna drive the bus? 219 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:12,041 Someone say something about a bus driver? 220 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,502 I still need six hours of supervised road time 221 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,920 for my B Class license, 222 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:18,422 but I'm pretty sure I can handle this bad boy… 223 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,258 Meg, let's go find our principal. 224 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:30,935 Ooh, sorry. 225 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:34,522 Sorry, guys. I got some, but I think the troublemaker's still in there. 226 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:41,695 Can someone please turn on the always-1978 bus radio? 227 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,957 Ew! 228 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,251 It's not my fault. It's a ballad. 229 00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:00,089 songs you can't poop over on a bus. 230 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,925 Soft stoolin' our way through the '70s. 231 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,393 Ew! 232 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,812 Change the damn station! 233 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,276 Whoa, whoa. Where you going? 234 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,987 I've had it, Brian. I am getting a "ha ha" from Joe 235 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,655 if it's the last thing I do. 236 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,532 And how are you planning to do this? 237 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:30,035 I'm gonna send a funny text and sneak over to Joe's and "ha ha" it. 238 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,954 But why are you wearing all black? 239 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:35,541 So no one will see me. 240 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,379 - Aah! - Why are you wearing all black? 241 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:42,798 Why are you wearing a lady's ball gown? 242 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,593 Let's both resume whatever it is we were doing. 243 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,636 Aah! 244 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:29,887 Who's there? 245 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,559 Don't struggle. It only makes it tighter. 246 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,187 Aah! 247 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,824 Peter? What the hell is going on here? 248 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,993 Joe? Joe, are you okay? 249 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,912 Yeah, I'm fine, Bon. 250 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:56,914 Oh. 251 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,629 We looked all night and there's no sign of Principal Shepherd anywhere. 252 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,508 Oh, my God, of course. Stop the bus, Meg. Look! 253 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:10,928 Gotcha. 254 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,603 - I thought I might find you here. - Mrs. Griffin, I, uh… 255 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,522 Look, I wanted to say I'm sorry. 256 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,775 I… I shouldn't have inserted myself into your personal life. 257 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,485 That… That was wrong of me. 258 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,570 I know you just wanted to help. I just… 259 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,907 I just panicked. I got so scared of her seeing me now 260 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,909 and thinking that I'm this big loser. 261 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,412 Hey, you are not a loser. 262 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:40,791 May I remind you I wear Saucony sneakers and Lee jeans. 263 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,710 You… 264 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,920 You are not a loser. 265 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:59,435 Mrs. Griffin, yo quiero one more chance. 266 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,232 Well, Mr. Griffin, the surgery went according to plan. 267 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,900 Great, thank you, Dr. Hartman. 268 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,278 I didn't know how to categorize your injuries 269 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,114 on the insurance form, so I just put "gay stabbing." 270 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,117 Oh, okay, who else… who else sees that? 271 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,702 Oh, almost-almost nobody. 272 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,204 It's just for, like, file-keeping record stuff. 273 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,000 Go get 'em. 274 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,883 Shelly? 275 00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:15,719 Hi, it's, uh, it's me, John Shepherd. 276 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,888 - Listen, John, I-I think maybe… - Hang on. 277 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,015 Just-just let me say what I want to say. 278 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,475 God, you look great. 279 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:24,353 Listen, I know it must be odd to see me standing here 280 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,105 all these years later. 281 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,649 And although I look like a man on the outside… 282 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,651 Shelly lives in the house next door. 283 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,820 Oh. Oh, uh, uh, which, uh… 284 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,822 Oh, the one with the aboveground pool 285 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,407 and angry dogs tied to the tree in the front yard. 286 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,874 No way. John Shepherd? 287 00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,584 Is that really you? 288 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,837 It is. Shelly? 289 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,966 Shut up! Shut up, you idiots! 290 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,510 I'd invite you in, but my uncle's getting dialysis 291 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,929 - right here in the bonus room. - Oh, wow. 292 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,807 Uh, listen, I was… I was just in the neighborhood. 293 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,143 I wanted to come by and see how you've been. 294 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,270 Yeah, not too bad. 295 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,231 You know, I ended up opening the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut, 296 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,066 but it never really took off. 297 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,527 I think, ultimately, it came down to me trading 298 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,904 too many pizzas for drugs. 299 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,489 Right, right. 300 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:20,117 Listen, I actually got to get these kids somewhere. 301 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,327 Well, it was nice to see you, John. 302 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:25,539 You ever want to hang out, you know where to find me. 303 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,334 You'll find her in the wind and in the trees around you. 304 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,920 Where the leaves blow and the river flows. 305 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,589 I'm sorry, who are you? 306 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,800 I'm Jared Fogle, the former Subway spokesperson. 307 00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:39,178 Not sure I want you in my thought bubble. 308 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,804 - Aren't you in prison? - Yes. 309 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,098 This is how I spend my days in my cell. 310 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,851 Hey, how many kids you got on this bus, by the way? 311 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:49,438 This is why! This is why I don't want you in there! 312 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,487 Thanks for pushing me to go find my first love. 313 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,781 Sorry it ended up being such a waste of time. 314 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,617 No, this was not a waste. 315 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,410 You just found out you won. 316 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:04,870 I did? How so? 317 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,164 Your ex-girlfriend is a total loser. 318 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:09,750 Meanwhile, you have a great job with a pension, 319 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:13,212 a house and a car with all different-color doors. 320 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,631 You're right. 321 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,050 I guess old Shep's doing okay. 322 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,302 You sure are. Now, all you got to do 323 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,222 is just not humiliate yourself on a bus full of children. 324 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,681 Ooh, on that note, 325 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,684 I got to make a quick stop in the little boy's room. 326 00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:31,396 Turn on the radio! 327 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,485 Ew! 328 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,488 Ew! 329 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,115 This bowl's getting very full. 330 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,160 I strongly suggest we don't go up or down any hills.