1 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:39,289 Ah, the last small sip of beer, always terrible. 2 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,601 Hey, I'll catch you guys later, I'm heading out. 3 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,043 Leaving early on a Saturday? 4 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,796 I think someone has a lady friend, huh? 5 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:46,880 Huh? 6 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,924 - Huh? - Ow! My dormant tricep! 7 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,300 There's no girl. I, I... 8 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:54,596 I just like watching the classic SNL that comes on before the new SNL. 9 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,390 And tonight, the classic SNL is... 10 00:00:56,932 --> 00:01:00,978 Deion Sanders with musical guest Deion Sanders? No, that can't be right. 11 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,855 Sadly, it is right. 12 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,774 He sang songs from his album, Prime Time. 13 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,943 Come on, Quagmire, tell us who the girl is. 14 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,504 You're the only one of us who can date. 15 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,530 We live bi-curiously through you. 16 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,448 Yeah. That's our penis. 17 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,742 Sorry, guys, but this one's top secret. 18 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,621 Forgot that a homeless guy sits out front. 19 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,164 He's very yelly tonight. 20 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,293 Huh, it's not like Quagmire to hold out on us. 21 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,669 There must be a reason. 22 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,963 Yeah, we got ourselves quite a mystery. 23 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,766 Could even be an episode of Murder She Wrote 24 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,842 with Angela Lansbury and Paul McCartney. 25 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,468 Well, she's dead. 26 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:34,845 She sure is, Paul. 27 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,763 You're Paul. I'm Angela. 28 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:40,267 And one of us either looks like an old woman or an old man. 29 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,436 That's the real mystery. 30 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,438 Is James Corden nice? 31 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,522 Not really, no. 32 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,905 Okay, Brian, I'll crack a window so you can wait in the car. 33 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,991 Ha! You can't come in 'cause you're a freakin' dog! 34 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,160 Come on, you can't leave me here. It's inhumane! 35 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,453 Sorry, those are the rules. 36 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,955 They only let in humans and squirrels. 37 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,248 - What? - I'm just kidding. 38 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,333 Bye, babe. 39 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,421 Alright, Stewie, hold my hand while I get our reusable bags from the trunk. 40 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,924 Calm down. Where am I gonna run? The market? 41 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,509 It's not like it's mango season. 42 00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,053 The mango bell? 43 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,472 Attention shoppers, mangos will be ripe 44 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,140 for the next two-and-a-half minutes. 45 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,208 I've gotta get in there! 46 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,271 Wow, that was close. 47 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,166 I've never killed someone outside the hospital. 48 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,608 Oh my God, Stewie! 49 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,276 You could have been run over! 50 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,153 Sorry, I was texting while driving. 51 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,447 Unfortunately, your husband derd. 52 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:36,782 Whoops, oh no, I meant... 53 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,950 Ah, she haha'd it. 54 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,284 Yeah, she's a good sport. 55 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,831 Okay, Quagmire said he can't go to the Clam tonight, 56 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,042 so I bet he's meeting that mystery woman again. 57 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,753 Yep, now, I know you fellas haven't been on a stakeout before, 58 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,077 but I've been on a ton of them. 59 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:54,341 So, I just want to mentally prepare you for how long these things... 60 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,425 Oop, there he is. 61 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,597 Alright, let's tail him. 62 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,228 And this high-speed adventure calls for a classic action movie theme! 63 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,148 What is this? 64 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,818 It's Eddy Grant's theme to Romancing the Stone. 65 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,361 This is stupid. 66 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,196 I'm finding another song. 67 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,742 What the hell is this? 68 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,953 "Addams Groove" by MC Hammer. 69 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,164 It's the theme song to The Addams Family movie. 70 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,834 It went to number four in Ireland. 71 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:29,918 And this is better? 72 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,462 Your guy just keeps saying the name of the movie! 73 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,547 I'm turning mine up. 74 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,174 Then I'm turning mine up! 75 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,635 Will you guys please turn off your terrible theme songs? 76 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,429 Sorry, Joe. 77 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,683 Guys, I think Quagmire's getting away. 78 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,393 Yeah, look, Joe. He's making a right. 79 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,561 Don't worry, I'm on it. 80 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,736 I'm running over stuff at The Forum this Sunday. 81 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,156 You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge. 82 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,412 Hey, Lois. I'm taking Stewie to the park. 83 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,498 Come on, Bri, I need a post that will make Lance think I'm outdoorsy. 84 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,043 Hold on, before you go, I got something. 85 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,879 Yes! You're gettin' leashed! 86 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,256 Ah, I'm going to film my reaction in slow-mo. 87 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,799 It's for Stewie. 88 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,553 Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? 89 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,639 After that close call at the store, 90 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,350 I want to make sure he cannot run away again. 91 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,393 So, I bought this. 92 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,020 It's a child harness. 93 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,688 That's not a harness, it's a leash! 94 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,441 A harness is something Rupert and I use on my birthday. 95 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,276 I thought you two also use a leash. 96 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,862 Well, I guess someone's been listening at the door. 97 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,030 No, you texted me. 98 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,699 Well, either way, I demand this be taken off at once! 99 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,368 Children don't belong in leashes. 100 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,912 Just like Bill Burr doesn't belong in The Mandalorian. 101 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,372 I've located the child. 102 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,665 He's on an Empire ship. 103 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,124 I'll assemble a strike team. 104 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,543 I'll jam the ship's radar. 105 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:56,046 And I'm gonna go whiz in a Gatorade bottle 'cause I don't trust space toilets. 106 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,507 Uh, which part of space are you from again? 107 00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,675 South space! 108 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,682 Quagmire, come on, we tee off in an hour. 109 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,518 Don't worry, I'll register us online to save time. 110 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,228 Name? Joe Swanson. 111 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,855 Handicap? Yes. 112 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,606 Quagmire, let's go! 113 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,236 Hey! What the hell are you doing? 114 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,989 Ooh, he must be with the mystery girl. 115 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,782 - I bet she's married. - Or famous. 116 00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:27,369 Oh, my God! 117 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,288 Quagmire and the Librarian? 118 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,041 Quagmire and the Librarian? 119 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:43,302 Wow! At the library, I guess Quagmire's been checking out more than just books. 120 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,764 Come on, don't encourage him. 121 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,057 I can't believe it. 122 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,143 Yeah. And she's got BB-8 underwear. 123 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,728 Lois said they don't make those! 124 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,897 Guys, I'd appreciate if you'd leave now. 125 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,565 Yeah, sure, let me just tie my shoe. 126 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,401 Peter, is that R2-D2 underwear? 127 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,361 Yeah, they're old and stupid. 128 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:05,991 You and the Librarian. 129 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,075 I don't get it. 130 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:10,495 Yeah, did, like, a bully dare you to invite her to prom 131 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,289 and then it turned into something more? 132 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,957 Or, your boss is a family man, 133 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,668 and you're just pretending to date her to get the big promotion? 134 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:19,087 No, there's no '90s movie premise involved! 135 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,590 See, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys about her. 136 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,008 I knew you wouldn't understand. 137 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,968 Then, help us understand, Glenn. 138 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,261 Show us your world. 139 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,472 Dammit Peter, you just had chicken wings! 140 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,640 I just like her, okay. 141 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,891 She's nice, she's smart. 142 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,952 And when you ask her where she wants to eat dinner, 143 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,187 she always has a clear, confident answer. 144 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,522 - No way! - You lie! 145 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:40,192 It's true! And it's nice to date someone where I can relax and be myself. 146 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,487 I don't even have to hide my moderate-to-severe plaque psoriasis. 147 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,364 You have plaque psoriasis? 148 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,241 Well, I did before Skyrizi. 149 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,060 Skyrizi may cause general douchery, 150 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,254 like spinning at weddings and sky hooking paper into trash cans. 151 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,505 Thanks, Skyrizi! 152 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,133 Now my elbows are ugly for the same reason as everybody else. 153 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,945 And that's not even the best thing about her. 154 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,095 Believe it or not, fellas, 155 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,347 she's the best I've ever had in bed. 156 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,431 The Librarian? 157 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,935 Yeah, she spent the last 30 years sitting at a reference desk, 158 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,521 reading back issues of Cosmopolitan Magazine. 159 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,066 That means she's read over four million tips on how to please her lover. 160 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,545 You know, you guys would like her if you'd just give her a chance. 161 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,778 I don't know. Us? 162 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,405 Hang out with a librarian? 163 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,031 Yeah, I don't think we're a match. 164 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,868 Like William Wallace and the guy who wouldn't wear face paint. 165 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,661 They may take our lives, 166 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,080 but they will never take our... 167 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,832 Hey, where's your face paint? 168 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,083 I can no wear it. 169 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,210 I have the plaque psoriasis. 170 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,380 Or at least, I did before Skyrizi. 171 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,387 Now this is freedom! 172 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,185 Ugh, this thing is so humiliating. 173 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,436 Ah, it's not a big deal. 174 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,979 I'm sure no one will even notice. 175 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,273 Oh, crap! It's Jake from my gym, 176 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,192 boxing an MMA mannequin. 177 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,276 Stewie? 178 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:08,030 Uh, hey, Jake. Just, uh, doing some resistance training. 179 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,156 Heard about it on Rogan. 180 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,158 Nice. Love Rogan. 181 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,535 Yes, he's for the vanguard of independent thinkers 182 00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:16,788 who also have seven hours a day to listen to a shaved ape. 183 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,707 Okay, Brian, I think I covered nicely there. 184 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,791 I'm gonna go play. 185 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,210 Oh! What the hell? 186 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,045 Uh, looks like we got our leashes tangled. 187 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:26,340 Sorry about that. My little guy doesn't always look where he's going. 188 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,926 Uh, Brian, I think he's trying to establish dominance. 189 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,302 Ah, he's just being friendly. 190 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,386 Sir, sir? 191 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,888 You cannot sniff back there. 192 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,390 Alright, that's it. Two can play at this game, tough guy. 193 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,268 Wow, you're six. 194 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,729 And from Denver? 195 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,856 Huh, there's a lot of information in butts. 196 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:43,941 I get it now. 197 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,280 I'm so excited to be here with you guys! 198 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,741 Okay, good start, shows energy. 199 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,201 Peter, this isn't a tryout. 200 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,286 Sorry. So, Elle, uh... 201 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,913 Hey, what are your arm tattoos? 202 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,999 Oh, those are my three babies that never came to term. 203 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:02,626 Oh, wow. Uh... 204 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,419 Uh, yeah, maybe, maybe uh... 205 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,004 maybe you just long sleeve it. 206 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,172 Or don't say it. 207 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,525 Yeah, sleeve it or don't say it. 208 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:12,010 Oh, I stopped sleeving when I started Skyrizi. 209 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,303 Enough with Skyrizi! 210 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,305 Do Taco Bell! At least they're a sponsor! 211 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,015 So, uh, anyway, on the way here, 212 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,101 Elle was saying how much she likes beer. 213 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:23,397 No, I didn't. I said the library masturbator ruined another atlas. 214 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,773 Ah! 215 00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,042 Okay, look. This ain't working. 216 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,609 Elle, we're regular guys. 217 00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:28,878 You're a librarian, all right? 218 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,737 I don't know the first thing about libraries, 219 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,489 except that the atlases are sexy. 220 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,951 Hell, I only even go to the library for the puppet show 'cause I like King Puppet. 221 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,870 You mean this puppet? 222 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,664 Quagmire, I love her. 223 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,999 You hit it out of the park. 224 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,962 Hey, do you know the guy who does Prince Puppet? 225 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,753 Yes, but the prince is a little shy. 226 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,256 Oh my God, how is this happening? 227 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,841 I'm just Peter Griffin! 228 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,259 Well, Peter may like you. 229 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,554 But good luck winning over the Joe. 230 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:59,141 Aren't you the cop who hid in the library when he heard "shots fired"? 231 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,559 Never mind, you won the Joe. 232 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:04,479 I also believe in essential oils. 233 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,940 Would anyone like eucalyptus for their nose? 234 00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,609 No, that's stupid. 235 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,860 Ooh! 236 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:10,944 That's nice. 237 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,989 I can see why women make this crap their whole personality. 238 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,073 Ah, this is great. 239 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,825 I'm so glad you guys are getting along. 240 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,327 We sure are. 241 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,953 And I love this eucalyptus. 242 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,538 I feel like Koala Peter. 243 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,833 Hey Mum, I'm gonna pick some of these Tasmanian berries. 244 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:26,335 Ow! Ow! Ow! 245 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,045 Oi Crikey! Me peepers! 246 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,631 I'm meaner than you think. 247 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,721 Connor, no! No! 248 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,307 All right, you can sniff the hydrant. 249 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,808 Aidan, no jumping! 250 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,685 I said no jumping! 251 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,647 Ah, never make your hobby your job. 252 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,903 Ooh, Brian, they have a movie with animals singing! 253 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,240 Pass. Hi, do you have anything with any of the girls from Euphoria? 254 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,324 Oh, come on! 255 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,660 Miley Cyrus plays a sassy giraffe! 256 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,496 Demi Lovato also plays a sassy giraffe! 257 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,664 And Halsey plays... 258 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,707 Oh, you know, I think it's a movie about giraffes. 259 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,726 Listen, if you're looking to be a creep, 260 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,673 all I can offer you is Jennifer Connelly in Hot Widow. 261 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:13,757 Yeah, that works. 262 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,259 How dark does the theater get? 263 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,678 Sir, movie theaters are a failing business, 264 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,054 you can do whatever you want. 265 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,764 No! Animals singing! 266 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,975 Stewie, enough! We're not seeing animals singing! 267 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,852 Ow! Okay, we'll... 268 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,311 We'll see yours instead. 269 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,064 Wow! 270 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,692 After all this time of putting up with your snide comments 271 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,528 and domineering attitude, I'm finally in control. 272 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,446 All right, let's go see my movie! 273 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,531 Yes, Brian. 274 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,699 Whatever you want. 275 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,577 Too late. They just turned this place into pickleball courts. 276 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,579 What? 277 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,914 Movie theaters! What a debacle! 278 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,462 Thanks for bringing Elle the other night. She's really something. 279 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,630 She sure is. 280 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,049 I don't get my shirt dry-cleaned for just any date. 281 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:59,136 This weekend, I'm asking her to make our relationship official. 282 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,139 Why don't you just ask her now, when she gets done kissing that other guy? 283 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,518 What? 284 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:08,812 Elle, what are you doing? 285 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,398 Glenn. 286 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,482 Hi. 287 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,736 Well, the top stars of puppetry are often unfaithful. 288 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:16,820 You knew the risks. 289 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,906 God, this is so humiliating. 290 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,365 Captain Quagmire? 291 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,869 Nestor? The guy with batons who directs my plane to the gate? 292 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,037 Oh, God! This is... 293 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,705 This is even more humiliating! 294 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,041 Actually, I'm called a "marshaller." 295 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,960 Yeah, I don't think that's a real term, but I can't believe this. 296 00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:34,171 Thank God other pilots don't hang out here. 297 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,840 Glenn Quagmire and the marshaller? 298 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,383 Okay, I guess that is a term. 299 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,636 Oh, Glenn. 300 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,846 I'm sorry to have to tell you like this, 301 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:46,850 but I just, I don't think you and I are working out. 302 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,101 What? Why? 303 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,311 We get along great! 304 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,146 I know. 305 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,190 The problem is in bed. 306 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,443 You've just, you've never given me an orgasm. 307 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:57,528 What? 308 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,779 Calling all cars, 309 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,823 we have a man ripped to pieces at 42 Maple. 310 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:04,326 Heartbroken, guts pulled right out. 311 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,537 Suspect is a saucy librarian. 312 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:10,332 A strangler got away 'cause I was goofin' on the radio. 313 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,591 Hey, guys. 314 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,552 Hey, you hear about Glenn Quagmire? 315 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:22,928 Can't pleasure a woman. 316 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,012 Peter, that's me! 317 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,740 Oh, sorry, I thought I was somewhere else. 318 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,182 Anyway, we haven't told anyone. 319 00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:28,350 How ya doin', buddy? 320 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,311 Well, you know, it was a shock at first, but I'm starting to adjust. 321 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,356 I've gotten really into running ten Ks, I garden now, 322 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,525 and I even bought season tickets for the Orioles, 323 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,152 since that's what guys who can't satisfy women do. 324 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,823 - What's that? - My new car. 325 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,284 I traded in my convertible for a Toyota Yaris. 326 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:48,453 Sign here that you're incapable of satisfying a woman. 327 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:53,458 Great, and I'm so sorry, you now own a Yaris. 328 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:56,545 - I also got a nice text from Josh Charles. - What? 329 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,756 When a guy can't please a woman, he gets a text from Josh Charles. 330 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,675 He's kind of the leader of our community. 331 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,886 Okay, well, I guess things aren't so bad then. 332 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:04,970 Of course they are! 333 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,305 I hate my life now! 334 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,808 I can't even be a pilot anymore because the passengers don't respect me. 335 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,560 Bye now. Thanks for flying. 336 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,978 Ma'am, can I help you get off? 337 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,688 Hmm! Not from what I hear. 338 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,441 I was also on that flight. 339 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,193 And then I got a cease and desist order 340 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,320 from the people who license the word "giggity." 341 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,655 - What? - It's a standard franchise agreement, 342 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:26,950 but apparently it can only be used by men who can satisfy their partners. 343 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,454 Hey, guys. I'm just gonna trim this overgrown bush. 344 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,788 Go... Go... 345 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,957 Oh God, what am I gonna do? 346 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,631 Thanks, Josh. 347 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,385 Guys, we have to do something. 348 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,554 Yeah, we gotta help him get his mojo back. 349 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,306 Come on, Quagmire, let's get you up. 350 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,266 Yeah, I hate seeing you like this. 351 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:54,520 And I wanna know who the hell has "giggity" right now. 352 00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,896 Giggity! 353 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,898 You know what? Good for the giggity people. 354 00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,191 Embracing change. 355 00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:05,697 Uh, Stewie, do I need to take out the leash? 356 00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:06,782 Sorry, Bri. 357 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:10,035 So, listen, I have to change my flight and I need you to wait on hold for me. 358 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,037 Oh, come on! That'll take forever! 359 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,177 This is Celia, how may I help you? 360 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,346 Oh, thank God. My name is Brian Griffin. 361 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,140 I'm calling about Flight 432 to Chicago. 362 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,768 Tell her I want a flight with zero male flight attendants. 363 00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:36,270 That's what I'm calling for? 364 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,313 And, and I want to sit next to a half-Asian chick. 365 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:39,731 How would they even know that? 366 00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:40,858 I heard your requests. 367 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,860 You are now on flight 376. 368 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,070 And sitting next to Grace Thompson-Woo. 369 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,363 - Really? - Yes. 370 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,574 We do this all the time for James Franco. 371 00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,492 All right! Now call Ticketmaster. 372 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,662 You've reached Ticketmaster. 373 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:55,289 Good luck, douchebag. 374 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,583 Ticketmaster, what a debacle! 375 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,131 Alright, Quagmire, we're going to tell you everything we know about lovemaking 376 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,341 to help you excite women again. 377 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:09,011 Yeah, and everything I know, I learned from amateur porn. 378 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,097 Do you have a Jacksonville Jaguars hat you can put on backwards? 379 00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,850 I don't think this is helpful, Peter. I want to have real sex. 380 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,811 Oh, well, then the key is to eat a giant steak, 381 00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:20,480 and then fall asleep on top of Lois. She loves that. 382 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,983 Or maybe try some scented body butter. 383 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:26,195 I rub some on before relations with Donna. 384 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:30,115 By the end of the night, she's like Yosemite Sam with two guns. 385 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:32,284 She says I have the rootin'est-tootin'est, 386 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,412 girthiest-sturdiest, most positively elephantiest 387 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,247 jackhammer in all the West. 388 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,041 Okay. 389 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:41,710 Or hey, maybe you're just not a sex guy anymore? 390 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,506 Maybe you date the girls, but another fella steps in for, uh, the sex. 391 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,966 That's what Bon and I do. 392 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,302 This poor sap's upstairs nailing my wife, 393 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:53,597 meanwhile I'm in the basement, knocking out Frasier's left and right. 394 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,433 Guys, this has been spectacularly unhelpful. 395 00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:59,186 Well, what do you want us to do? You're the sex guy in the group. 396 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,479 Not anymore I'm not. 397 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,939 Thanks for trying, but... 398 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,982 Let's be honest, I'm old. 399 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,400 I'm washed up. 400 00:17:05,484 --> 00:17:07,778 My days of pleasing women are behind me. 401 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,613 You guys can let yourselves out. 402 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,156 I think I'm gonna take a nap. 403 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,993 Who else but Quagmire? 404 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,829 What'd you say to me? 405 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:21,333 You heard me. Who else could hit on my wife for 20 years? 406 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,085 Quagmire. 407 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,087 Who else could sleep with my first wife? 408 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,171 Quagmire. 409 00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,650 So, don't you give me this crap that you're old and washed up. 410 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:30,384 You'll never be. And you know why? 411 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,178 'Cause who else but Quagmire? 412 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,222 I'll tell you who else, no one! 413 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,391 I'm gonna go out there, get my mojo back, 414 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,560 and then I'm giving Elle the time of her life! 415 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,027 The Toyota Yaris, what a debacle! 416 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,534 Ah, it's a great day for a walk. 417 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,887 Uh, yeah, yeah. When the wind made that fence rattle, you... 418 00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,289 - You did a good job barking at it. - Thank you. 419 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,666 It was a crisis and I feel like I took charge. 420 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,894 Hey, what do you say we take another lap around the block? 421 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,254 Oh, I don't know. I'm really tired now, 422 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,131 and my diaper lost contain. 423 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,674 Come on, we're taking another lap. 424 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,468 Please! Rupert and I ate at a cantina last night. 425 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,553 I don't care, Stewie! 426 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,722 I have the leash, so I'm in control! 427 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:17,806 Ah! 428 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,864 Okay, well, two dogs are disappointed in me. 429 00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:35,657 And they should be. 430 00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:36,742 Look at me. 431 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:41,163 I've become a power-hungry, inhumane dog owner that I despise. 432 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,581 I'm sorry, Stewie. 433 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,416 I never should have treated you like this. 434 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,084 You don't need a leash. 435 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,544 You need to be free. 436 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:48,629 Really? 437 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:49,838 That's right, pal. 438 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:52,049 Ooh! The ice cream truck! 439 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,011 Ow! Did you see the driver? 440 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,513 It was Caitlyn Jenner again. 441 00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:00,307 God! How is Caitlyn Jenner still allowed to drive? 442 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,100 That was practically manslaughter! 443 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,102 More like they/them slaughter. 444 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,706 You know what? I don't think we're qualified to talk about this. 445 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:12,694 Glenn? 446 00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:13,779 Hello, gorgeous! 447 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:14,905 These are for you. 448 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,532 I took your criticism to heart, 449 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,909 and I'm here to let you know, I've upped my game! 450 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:21,203 I have more stamina, more flexibility, 451 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:24,122 and you know that trick where someone ties a knot with a cherry stem? 452 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,087 Dammit, ow. 453 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,065 That was much more painful than I thought it'd be. 454 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:34,216 Oh, I don't know, Glenn. 455 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,176 Are you sure you can handle me? 456 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,386 Better question. 457 00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,388 Can you handle me? 458 00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:41,807 All right, let's load him in! 459 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:44,768 What happened? 460 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:45,936 O.I.A. 461 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,146 Orgasm Induced Aneurysm. 462 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,691 Poor guy slept with someone out of his league. 463 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:53,026 I gotta say, his elbows look perfect. 464 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,362 Thanks, Skyrizi. 465 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,787 Well, Elle may not have worked out, 466 00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:06,123 but a lot of women still enjoy my company. 467 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,417 I guess Elle was just too much woman for me. 468 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,501 And perhaps anyone. 469 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,140 Hi, I'm John Mayer. 470 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,810 I put my skinny arms in a t-shirt today to let you know that every year, 471 00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:32,316 over a 1000 men die from an Orgasm Induced Aneurysm, or O.I.A. 472 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,611 Every guy wants sex to be mind-blowing but not like this. 473 00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:38,530 So, please, donate to stop O.I.A. today, 474 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:42,201 and help us make every man's body a wonderland. 475 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,577 Should I play the song now? 476 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,121 No, the guy was from Boston, so we're gonna do that screaming, 477 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:49,291 shanty rock that makes Bruins fans punch each other in the face.