1 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,079 So, thanks to AI, here's a picture 2 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,499 of what JonBenet Ramsey would look like in a bikini today. 3 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:41,583 Wowza. 4 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,711 But first, would you like to spend the rest of your life alone? 5 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,881 Would you like your last meal to be a handful of red dirt? 6 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,633 Well, a local firm here in Quahog 7 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,260 is now accepting applications 8 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,762 to take a one-direction trip to Mars. 9 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,055 - Huh? - "One direction," 10 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,348 as in, you stay there forever, 11 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,975 not as in the band. 12 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,185 The mission is being supported 13 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,104 by the Quahog Engineering and Scientific Organization, 14 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,272 or QuESO. 15 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,690 - Que? - That's QuESO, 16 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,817 the organization, not the Mexican cheese dip. 17 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,653 Mom. Guess what? 18 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,737 No, Meg. 19 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:14,575 I got us two tickets to laser Dua Lipa. 20 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,909 All of Dua Lipa's hits 21 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,161 synced up to a bunch of red and green laser doodles. 22 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,538 It's three hours. 23 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,039 We'll be stone-cold sober, 24 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,374 and it's in the middle of the day. 25 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,377 Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie, but I'm busy that day. 26 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,462 I haven't said what day it is yet. 27 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,923 Weekends are just really tough for me right now. 28 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,717 It's on a Tuesday. 29 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,926 Oh, yeah, you know what? 30 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,804 Tuesdays are just impossible. Wednesdays too. 31 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,306 And then, Thursday through Monday, 32 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,558 I'm pretty much just prepping for Tuesday. 33 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,519 I'm sorry, honey. Maybe next time. 34 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:49,860 And the cast of Suits, then and now. 35 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,195 Ah, look at that. 36 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,779 Yeah. Slight difference. 37 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,784 What's your cheapest morning-after pill? 38 00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,494 It's called Plan C. 39 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,330 Nice. I get it. 40 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,664 Let me get that gift-wrapped. 41 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,088 Whoa! Who is this tall drink of water? 42 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,300 I, uh... I like your horn. 43 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,718 Is that okay to say? 44 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,262 Oh, well, thank you. I do try to moisturize. 45 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,514 - Come on, Stewie, let's... - Brian. 46 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:19,932 Leave the aisle and then come back 47 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,558 and ask for my autograph. 48 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,560 So, what part of Q-town are you from? 49 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,438 Oh, very hip. Right by that Thai fusion speakeasy 50 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:27,898 that used to be a needle exchange. 51 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,816 - I love it over there. - Uh, excuse me, sir. 52 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,110 - May I have your auto... - Not now. 53 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:33,070 I'm in a conversation. Wait for me outside. 54 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,408 Wait. No way. 55 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,536 Both of you guys are dryer safe? 56 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:41,870 Guys, are you feeling this? 57 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,872 Rupert, I just knew you two would vibe 58 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,290 the way we vibed at the drugstore. 59 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,042 And that never happens to me. 60 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,294 Guys. Is this... 61 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,380 Are we a... a throuple? 62 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,174 Oh, hey, Brian, you remember Made In from the pharmacy. 63 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,592 - Made In? - Yeah. See? 64 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,637 Yeah, I don't think that's a name. 65 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,139 I think that's just the words "made in" 66 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,849 with a sticker over the word "China." 67 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,100 Well, that's the name. 68 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,601 And they, that's right, 69 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,937 "they" are living with me and Rupert now. 70 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,397 Great, Stewie. Have fun with your toys. 71 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,941 I'm gonna go binge-surf Hinge in a dark room. 72 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,444 Don't listen to him. He doesn't accept you, Made In. 73 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,737 I accept you. 74 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,948 No, we accept you. 75 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,201 All right, who wants to get throup'd first? 76 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,542 - Oh, hey, Meg. - Hey, Mr. Quagmire. 77 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,169 So there's this Dua Lipa show. 78 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,837 - Oh, uh, no. - I've got two tickets, 79 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,672 and I was wondering if... 80 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,174 - No. - ... you would want to go with me. 81 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,093 - It's this synchronized light show. - Stop asking. 82 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,303 - Honestly, it's high-tech. - I can't think of anything worse. 83 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,138 - You get to socialize... - Read my body language. 84 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,390 - ... with other fans at intermission. - Hear what I'm saying. 85 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,683 - Meg. Meg. Meg. - What do you say? 86 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,310 Look me in the eye. The answer is no. 87 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:51,106 But you always say "no" is just a spicy "yes." 88 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,066 Stop telling people I said that! 89 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,360 - You want to go with me? - Meg, no. 90 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,195 - It's this synchronized light show. - Stop asking. 91 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,280 - It's high-tech. - I can't think of anything worse. 92 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,116 - You get to socialize... - Read my body language. 93 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,284 - ... with other fans at intermission. - Hear what I'm saying. 94 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,745 - What do you say? - Look me in the eye. The answer is no. 95 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:09,333 But you always say "no" is just a spicy "yes." 96 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,752 Stop telling people I said that! 97 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,174 Ladies and gentlemen, 98 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,053 please welcome Dua Lipa's... outline. 99 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,267 Unfortunately, due to a technical glitch, 100 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,853 or an Eric, as we're calling them around here, 101 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,396 we're unable to play the music, 102 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,689 and will instead be playing 103 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,691 the audio book of The Joy Luck Club, 104 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,360 as read by Howard Stern. 105 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,738 "Feathers from a Thousand Li Away." 106 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,240 God, this is so hot. 107 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,034 I'm telling you, I go nuts for these Chinese babes. 108 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,329 Mom? What are you doing here? 109 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,455 I thought you were busy. 110 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,165 I'm sorry. There was a Groupon. 111 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:53,710 The moment it was $4 cheaper, I was powerless to say no. 112 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,257 "And she saw how quickly their eyes moved 113 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,260 "when she told them her idea for the Joy Luck Club." 114 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,679 Hey, she said the name of the thing in the thing. 115 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:04,763 I love that. 116 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,898 Shut up, Meg. 117 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:05,240 But, Meg, why on earth would you want to go to Mars? 118 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:08,744 I made up my mind, and this is what I want. 119 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,622 You know what, Meg? You're right. 120 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,998 This will be good for you. 121 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,167 And if you're chosen, we'll miss you, 122 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,877 but you'll have our support. 123 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,296 Oh. Wow, thanks, Mom. 124 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,380 I appreciate that. 125 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,383 You see what I did there, Peter? 126 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,803 That is some next-level jujitsu parenting right there. 127 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,805 Oh, yeah, I get what you're going for. 128 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,808 Get rid of Meg, get some hot exchange student from Sweden. 129 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,144 Me and her, we flirt a little, we get something going. 130 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:35,479 And then one thing leads to another. 131 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,022 I cross a line, next thing you know, 132 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,190 we're all walking on eggshells. 133 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441 Her dad calls from Sweden, 134 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,985 I can't understand a word he's saying. 135 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,070 He's either really happy or really mad. 136 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,196 No, Peter, listen. 137 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,573 Meg's just rebelling for attention. 138 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,200 I used to do the same thing. 139 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,202 I once felt Ted Turner over the pants 140 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,287 - right in front of my dad. - Very relatable. 141 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:54,122 But what I learned about parenting 142 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,041 from the the jacket of a book I didn't buy 143 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,126 is that when your child rebels, 144 00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,754 you can't push back or they'll double down. 145 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,297 You just stay supportive, 146 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,966 let them learn their own lessons, 147 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,134 and they'll come crawling back to you in the end. 148 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,886 How is that different than what I said? 149 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,013 Plus, every lonely incel in the country 150 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,390 is applying to this thing. 151 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,891 She'll never be chosen. 152 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,493 How could you possibly have any energy this morning? 153 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,371 You're right. Time to greet this glorious day. 154 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,291 First, we'll grab avocado toast at Simone's 155 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,626 and then leisurely flip through the West Elm catalog 156 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,211 and circle everything we hate. 157 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,215 What do you say? 158 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,384 Shall we take our breakfast on the balcony? 159 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,805 When you're in a throuple, whatever house you're in 160 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,724 automatically grows a Juliet balcony 161 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,851 to lean against in your robe and boxers 162 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,353 with a hot flavored coffee and just sigh. 163 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,190 Ahh! 164 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,488 Welcome, recruits. 165 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,283 My name is Sergeant Bensinger, retired. 166 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,951 I drank lots of water at Camp Lejeune 167 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,703 and am now financially independent. 168 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,539 To start things off, I'm gonna say this one more time. 169 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:20,334 This is about a one-direction trip to Mars 170 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,086 and not about the pop band One Direction. 171 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,298 Come on, man! 172 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:29,259 Now then, this will be a cutthroat, exhaustive 173 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,136 and highly competitive selection process. 174 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:32,679 We're not just looking for the best 175 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:33,972 or the best of the best. 176 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,225 We're looking for the best of the best of the best. 177 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:38,560 Of the best. 178 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,645 Ah, crud! 179 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,897 If only he'd stopped at the previous "best." 180 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,068 All right, trainees. 181 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,320 It's very important to have a cool thing to say 182 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,072 the minute you set foot on Mars. 183 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,907 Meg, we'll start with you. 184 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,702 Did I do that? 185 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:56,787 Not bad. 186 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,164 We would also have accepted, "Whassup?" 187 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,960 Okay, trainees, as you may remember 188 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,378 from the movie The Right Stuff, 189 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,505 we'll need to collect a semen sample from each of you. 190 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,090 - But I... - No exceptions. 191 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,216 Figure it out. 192 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,386 Well, somehow, you did it. Everyone come back tomorrow, 193 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,847 you start the real training with the real guy. Bye! 194 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:20,102 The Martian environment is completely cold, harsh and inhospitable. 195 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,520 To train you to survive, 196 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,480 we found a similar environment. 197 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,691 An abandoned Bed, Bath & Beyond. 198 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,109 Anyway, as long as we're here, 199 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,653 feel free to just take whatever you want. 200 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,489 I don't really want anything. 201 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,491 That was kind of the whole problem. 202 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,785 Since there's no Wi-Fi on Mars, 203 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:39,079 we're gonna send you up there with a VCR 204 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,582 and you get to choose one tape. 205 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,085 Ah, yes. 206 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,546 Sidney Poitier and Tom Berenger 207 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,714 in Shoot to Kill. 208 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,592 A crackling tale of survival in the Pacific Northwest. 209 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,595 One man out for the law, one man out for revenge. 210 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,263 Letterboxed? Please. 211 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,931 I'm a pan-and-scan gal. 212 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,808 Arthur Penn's Target. 213 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:03,145 Starring Matt Dillon and a career-best Gene Hackman. 214 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:06,190 The game of espionage is played by a strict code. 215 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,233 But that code has been broken. 216 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,860 Running time, 117 minutes. 217 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,695 This has tape two of Titanic in it. 218 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,779 Oh, sorry about that. 219 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,781 Someone must have pulled an Eric. 220 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:18,118 Learn to love again with Under the Tuscan Sun, 221 00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,412 featuring Diane Lane and Sandra Oh 222 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,663 at the tippy-top of her game. 223 00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,999 When life gives divorcee Frances lemons, 224 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,919 she's off to Italy to make a Tuscan villa lemonade. 225 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,838 Rated PG-13 for sensual kissing and partial nudity. 226 00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:32,090 Can't I just bring my laptop up there with me? 227 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,175 No! 228 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,802 Because then, I wouldn't have a job, stupid. 229 00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,512 You know what? Give me the tape back. 230 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:37,846 You don't get a tape. 231 00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:44,353 Ooh, look at that one. 232 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,396 Well, I know it's small, but this is Provincetown 233 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,398 on a July 4th weekend, Made In. 234 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:49,775 Beggars can't be choosers. 235 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,318 Hey, Stewie, you want to get lunch? 236 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,029 Give us a few minutes to washcloth our parts, Brian. 237 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,615 - We had a long night. - Whatever. 238 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,413 Oh, God! I can't breathe. 239 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,669 This is fine. This is okay. 240 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,629 As long as the throuple balcony is strong, 241 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:11,797 the throuple is strong. 242 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,717 Other deviant sex groups get these too. 243 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,553 This is my one-ple balcony. 244 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,646 You know, you really showed us by signing up for this, Meg. 245 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,940 And no matter what happens, just remember. 246 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,025 You've definitely proved your point. 247 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,193 You see that? 248 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,279 Yeah. That microphone's totally unguarded. 249 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,573 I'm gonna do my Michelle Obama impression. 250 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,074 Ladies and gentlemen, 251 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,659 thank you for joining us today. 252 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,119 Eh, I'll do it at intermission. 253 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,205 We have decided who is going to Mars. 254 00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:47,207 You are all worthy candidates. 255 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,460 But just like the box for Thorn EMI Screen Entertainment's 256 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,628 Highlander says, 257 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,088 "There can be only one." 258 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:54,882 And the winner is... 259 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,300 Seamus! 260 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:02,764 Well, honey, I'm glad you got this out of your system. 261 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:05,350 And to think I never pushed back once. 262 00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,436 Good thing you've got a great mom, huh? 263 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,772 Poet laureate Robert Pinsky once said, 264 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:14,610 "When I had no roof, I made audacity my roof." 265 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:15,903 It is truly an honor. 266 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,821 Whoa! Wait a minute. 267 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,406 Are those your arms and legs? 268 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,450 Oh, man! 269 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,993 I guess I wasn't really paying attention. 270 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,162 The winner is Meg! 271 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,288 She won? 272 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,957 Mom, I did it. I'm going to Mars. 273 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,127 Barack hasn't satisfied me in years. 274 00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:33,670 That's your impression? 275 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,798 It's less a voice and more... It's like an attitude. 276 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,640 Meg, you can't go to Mars. 277 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,850 You can't talk me out of this, Mom. I'm going. 278 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,853 Well, as your parents, we forbid it. Right, Peter? 279 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,231 Lois, kids go to Mars. That's what they do. 280 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,984 Hey, Meg, congrats on this Mars thing. Great stuff. 281 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:57,861 Hey, listen, if I give you this bone, 282 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,780 could you maybe bury it for me up there? 283 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,073 That would... Yeah. 284 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,574 That would just be huge for me. 285 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:05,869 Oh, honey, you've still got your whole life ahead of you. 286 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,747 I'm a hero now, Mom. I have a purpose. 287 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,415 When that rocket takes off next week, 288 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,750 I'm gonna be on it. 289 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,919 Well, if Meg can go to Mars, 290 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,921 can I go to the Pornhub Awards? 291 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,214 Still no, Chris. 292 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,216 I'm going to kill myself! 293 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,429 We're good parents. 294 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,977 Look, we all understood 295 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,937 that there would be some bumps along the way, right? 296 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,814 When you're in a three-way relationship, 297 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,148 there will inevitably be times 298 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,234 where two sides gravitate towards each other. 299 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,735 Right now, it's Rupert and Made In. 300 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,362 Eventually, it'll be Stewie and Made In. 301 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,947 And then Rupert, you're gonna feel like 302 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,575 the lonely left out piece of no one wants. 303 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,784 Well, cheers, everyone. 304 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,120 Oh. Why are you laughing? 305 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,329 I don't get it. 306 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,706 Oh, it's an inside joke. 307 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:53,876 Oh. You two have a... an inside joke. 308 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,544 Well, I know a million jokes too. 309 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,379 Why did the old man fall in the well? 310 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,047 Because he couldn't see that well. 311 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,591 Ha-ha! Right? Inside joke. 312 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,509 Now, everybody agree? 313 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,553 I'm sexually desirable too. 314 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,642 Wow, there she is. 315 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,227 It's the girl who's going to Mars. 316 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:15,272 I saw her in the parking lot, but I could get excited again. 317 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,108 Meg, will you please join us in the women's bathroom? 318 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,197 In honor of your sacrifice, we hereby rename this stall 319 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,408 the Meg Griffin Memorial Handicap Bathroom Stall. 320 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:33,290 This is literally what I've asked Santa for my entire life. 321 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,625 Ew! What? 322 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:43,133 I was trapped in by the ribbon. 323 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,844 Yeah, it's always something with you guys. 324 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,600 Hey, Brian, I got something for you. 325 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,977 What? I thought you liked that thing. 326 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,395 It turns out we had some irreconcilable differences. 327 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:56,688 See, I'm a Taurus, 328 00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,607 and they're a home-wrecking slut. 329 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,610 Stewie, I have absolutely zero interest in your $6 toy. 330 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:06,156 Hey there, Rupert. Hey, you know what? 331 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,116 Let's have our lunch by the window. 332 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,680 There's something I'd like you to see. 333 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:15,832 You see? 334 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:18,669 You did this, Rupert. You did. 335 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,463 You humiliated me, and this is what happens. 336 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,882 You do not play games with me. 337 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,014 But, to be clear, I'm still a free spirit. 338 00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:34,142 Super chill, super open, super down for whatever. 339 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,774 Hey, Meg? We're all gonna miss you. 340 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,568 And if you could pour this bag of urine 341 00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,486 on top of wherever you bury Brian's bone, 342 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:45,821 that'd be huge for me. 343 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,365 I'm really gonna miss you too, Meg. 344 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,741 - Really? - Well, yeah. 345 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:52,536 Worrying about the sound my headboard makes against the wall 346 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,037 is a big part of it for me. 347 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,330 I'll miss that tension. 348 00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:57,416 It's part of my scenario. 349 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,084 That's really sweet, Chris. 350 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,301 Wow. 351 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,387 Now, I'm actually feeling kind of sad to leave you guys. 352 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,347 Yeah. Too bad you can't back out now. 353 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:15,184 You'd be widely hated, and deservedly so. 354 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,904 Tom Tucker, live here from Cape Quahog, 355 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,530 where local resident Meg Griffin 356 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:31,867 is about to become the first person ever to go to Mars. 357 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,286 Truly, a historic moment, which we will now celebrate 358 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,829 with a small but affordable clip 359 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,873 of Europe's The Final Countdown. 360 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,972 Meg's only companion for the flight 361 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,682 will be a year's supply of food. 362 00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:58,519 And because she's a woman, her pillow from home. 363 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,861 Oh, my God. She doesn't want to go. 364 00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:09,988 We gotta call off the launch. 365 00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,075 Prepare launch sequence. 366 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,246 Wait! Stop! 367 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,164 No. 368 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,457 No? But... 369 00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:22,292 But that's my daughter in there. 370 00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:23,919 Yeah. We can't just stop 371 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,504 every time a mom bursts in here. 372 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,256 You think Neil Armstrong's mom 373 00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,049 didn't burst in and say, "Wait, stop"? 374 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,884 They always say "Wait, stop!" 375 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,803 Initiate countdown. 376 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,433 And it looks like it's time 377 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,769 for the cryptcoin.com countdown. 378 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,654 And now, it is no longer the cryptcoin.com countdown. 379 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,866 Anyway. Ten, nine... 380 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:56,618 Oh, man. 381 00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,704 I hope I'm making the right decision. 382 00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:06,044 What am I talking about? Of course I am. 383 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,838 Mom didn't even bother to see me off, 384 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,007 much less say, "Wait, stop!" 385 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,675 like Neil Armstrong's mom. 386 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,510 Wait! Stop! 387 00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:14,845 Mom? 388 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,389 Nobody shoots my baby into space! 389 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,016 Mom, what are you doing? 390 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,642 This is super dangerous. 391 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,227 Oh, don't worry, Meg. 392 00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:23,562 They'll never shoot off a rocket 393 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:24,925 with a woman holding on to the... 394 00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:29,902 Oh... 395 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,742 And we have liftoff. 396 00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,037 Oh, my God! Is that Lois? 397 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,915 Mom's gone. Dad, can I go to the Pornhub Awards? 398 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:43,999 Yeah, sure, Stewie. 399 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,755 Just hold on. 400 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:53,592 Channel Tom Cruise at his most mentally ill. 401 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,307 Why are we turning? 402 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,852 Mom, we're going down! 403 00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:09,816 Oh, God, oh, God! I can't die like this. 404 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,236 I never finished The Wire. 405 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,571 I never started The Wire. 406 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,241 And here it comes, 407 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,035 the horrifying crash we were all secretly hoping for. 408 00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:29,169 Oh, my God! 409 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,713 She's got the car keys. 410 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,180 I'm sorry you won't get to go to Mars. 411 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:43,642 Well, I'm just glad we got lucky and the rocket crashed. 412 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,311 Luck had nothing to do with it. 413 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,232 Hey, we're saved. 414 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,734 It was the mom that caused the crash. 415 00:19:52,818 --> 00:19:55,237 You can't suddenly add 145 pounds 416 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,823 to a carefully calibrated propulsion system. 417 00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,117 A hundred forty-five? No! 418 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,119 I'm only 128. 419 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:06,373 No, we tested 128. We could handle 128. 420 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:09,168 One twenty-eight and the rocket's in space right now. 421 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,045 Okay, maybe 130 with shoes on. 422 00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:14,756 But I'd know if I was 145. 423 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,467 Oh, I wonder who I believe more. 424 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,804 A mom with no job or six nerds from MIT. 425 00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:22,389 Hmm. 426 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:23,807 I think I'll go with the nerds. 427 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,810 So funny. 428 00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,521 So good. Okay. Okay. 429 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:31,565 Anyway, get in this basket. 430 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,663 See? That's exactly what we were talking about. 431 00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:49,958 One twenty-eight and we're back on dry land. 432 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:53,086 But maybe it's because I have stuff in my pocket. 433 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,923 It's definitely not the stuff. 434 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,091 We'll go get the livestock crate.