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Welcome to Quahog's first
recreational dispensary.

2
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Now, as you all know,
I was against this.

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I fought it tooth.

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Maybe I should've also fought it nail.

5
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But that time is gone.

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Settle down. There's
enough drugs for everybody.

7
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Wow, Quahog has a lot more white guys

8
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with blond dreadlocks than I thought.

9
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- Mmm.
- And a fair number of Black ladies

10
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with the blond dreadlocks guys.

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Cleveland, what do you think...

12
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We don't like to talk about it, Peter.

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It's a big problem in our community.

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It's just, you should know,
in the white community,

15
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these guys are kind of
considered, like, big time rascals.

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We're aware. It's being handled.

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There was just a big Zoom about it.

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- Maybe you could...
- We're gonna go ahead

19
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and deal with this one in-house.

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How ya doin'?

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There is a plan.

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That's all I need to know.

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Is that Cinnamon Toast Crunch in witness

24
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protection when I'm at breakfast?

25
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Susie and I saw you unloading groceries

26
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and wanted to let you know

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if you need to borrow
reusable bags, I have a bunch.

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And, you know, you can't soak
cast iron skillets, right?

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It strips the seasoning.

30
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Oh, Mrs. S is throwing haymakers.

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It's not soaking. I'm cooking water.

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Oreos! Here we go, baby!

33
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I want Oreos!

34
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Hey, they're just Oreos. Relax.

35
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Besides, they're not for babies.

36
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They're for rewarding good behavior

37
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in developmentally slow adults.

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So then I was like,

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"What if I've also been
the mailman the whole time?"

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Yeah, you were saying that in the car.

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I know, but you didn't respond.

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Let's, uh... Let's lock these guys
up in the cabinet for a while, huh?

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Yeah, I think that would be best.

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Bingo.

45
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Oh, baby. Bonus candy.

46
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Mmm. Not really feeling the sugar rush.

47
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I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.

48
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Good idea, Rupert.
Music will help me relax.

49
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Okay, this is good. This is helping.

50
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Why should I be afraid of dying?

51
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Wait, what?

52
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Dead.

53
00:03:57,190 --> 00:04:00,776
I wonder if this is why Ben and
Jerry started making ice cream.

54
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Hey, grab your lunches. I know a spot.

55
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I think I may take a gap year.

56
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You know, hit the road.

57
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There's something I've been searching

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for for a while that I need to find.

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A little guy named Stewie Griffin.

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Can... can you hear any of this?

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I'm not even trying to listen anymore.

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I'm thinking about soccer.

63
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Guys, what are you doing up here?

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Big no-no. The roof is off limits.

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Stewie, are you... high?

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Yeah. So are you. We're on the roof.

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Okay, I heard that.

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That was funny.

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We now return to a Dateline

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with a beloved town dentist.

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He did it. It was him.

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Peter, we got a big problem.

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It appears Stewie was
high on pot at school.

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Excuse me for one second.

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Lois! Someone's at the door for you.

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Joe, why do you have Stewie?

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I'm sorry to tell you this, Lois,

78
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but apparently, Stewie
was high at school.

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- What?
- It's the worst thing

80
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I've seen in my career.

81
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And I've seen four dead bodies.

82
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Though technically, that was a
zip-lining accident in Costa Rica.

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- O... okay.
- Maybe not the best idea

84
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:18,229
having 13-year-olds
securing those carabiners.

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- Joe, I...
- They wouldn't let me

86
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bring my own camera on the zip-line.

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Odd, right?

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Well, turns out they just
want to sell you their photos.

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I'll take it from here, Joe.
Thanks for bringing him home.

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This is a serious offense, Lois.

91
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I have a court order to
remove him from your custody.

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What? No. Please!

93
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I'm sorry, Lois.

94
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No!

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My baby! Please!

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I gotta keep Stewie entertained,
so I'm gonna need your iPad.

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What?

98
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No! My baby! Please!

99
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Hey, what's gonna happen with Stewie?

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Well, he's at the
Swansons until I complete

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court-ordered online parenting classes.

102
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Throwing this out there.

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If you want a new baby in
six months, let me know.

104
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You gotta tell me within five months.

105
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Eh, five-and-a-half max.

106
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So, Stewie, I know your
dad is a pretty funny guy,

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but I'm kind of the
"your dad" around here.

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Yeah, Pops doesn't really talk
about being funny. He just is.

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Yeah, Stewie, comedy's
pretty big in this house, too.

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In fact, I recently submitted a
packet to get into the Capitol Steps.

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Nobody knows what that is, Joe.

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They're pretty well known in the

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political satire,
off-center comedy world.

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Anybody here know if Tip O'Neill
is a generous tipper?

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I make a bit of hay
about that in the packet.

116
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Tip O'Neill's been dead since 1994.

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Voicemail from the Capitol Steps!

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Hey, Joe, this is Clarkey.

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So sorry, but we're gonna pass.

120
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We're looking for
someone more off-center,

121
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more skewed, if that makes sense?

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That's what I am!

123
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There's plenty of other comedy groups.

124
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Oh, really?

125
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Like the Capitol "freaking" Steps?

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- What about...
- If you say the words

127
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"Ocean State Follies,"

128
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I swear to God, I'll empty
my bag all over the floor.

129
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Meg, please, I really need the laptop.

130
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I'm just about done with
my parenting classes,

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and then I can get Stewie back.

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One sec. I gotta finish this mandatory

133
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sexual harassment course today,

134
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or I'm not allowed around the janitors.

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True or false.
It's okay to slap a man's bottom

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if he knows you.

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That's got to be true.

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- False.
- I'm done.

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Thanks, Meg.

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This has been so hard for me.

141
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A mama just can't be
separated from her kiddos.

142
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Well, I'm off to Denver with
the guy from the magic shop.

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Okay. See you at dinner.

144
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Only if you're in the greater
Denver area there, Hoss.

145
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I'm just gonna give you
the "title" of the sketch.

146
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It's called "The Dan
Quayle Spelling Bee."

147
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The jokes write themselves.

148
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Do one.

149
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Here it is. I'm done
with my parenting class.

150
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Where's my baby?

151
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I'm happy for you, Lois, but
don't let this happen again.

152
00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:10,651
We ran out of diapers, so
he's wearing a Walgreens bag.

153
00:08:10,652 --> 00:08:13,904
Oh, Stewie. I am so
happy to have you back.

154
00:08:13,905 --> 00:08:17,449
Momma's never gonna let anything
like this happen again, okay?

155
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:18,826
This place is a nightmare.

156
00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:20,363
They don't even have a xylophone on

157
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a string that you can drag behind you.

158
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Well, if nobody's next, I
guess I'll just go again.

159
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Now that Stewie is back, we're gonna

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have some new rules to keep us safe.

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First, it is no longer sufficient
for our pet to look after our baby.

162
00:08:41,182 --> 00:08:43,225
Probably... probably the right call.

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00:08:43,226 --> 00:08:46,895
Second, kids' bedroom doors are not
allowed to be closed all the way.

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I am happy to do this,

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but I need you to be absolutely
sure you've thought it out.

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You don't win this one, Mom.

167
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I'm striking that last rule.

168
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We are gonna start
using the buddy system.

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If you leave, you go with your buddy.

170
00:09:00,535 --> 00:09:02,578
You're okay with all these rules, Dad?

171
00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:04,997
Sorry, bud, but I agree
with Mom on this stuff.

172
00:09:04,998 --> 00:09:08,168
I learned a lot from the dad's
version of the parenting classes.

173
00:09:13,089 --> 00:09:14,882
He took a run at Stefan there,

174
00:09:14,883 --> 00:09:16,925
and now it's all breaking loose.

175
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I also do dishes on holidays.

176
00:09:22,932 --> 00:09:25,170
Okay, Stewie, Mom says no more screen

177
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:26,810
time, so I'm gonna read you a book.

178
00:09:26,811 --> 00:09:30,314
This one is called "There's a
Monster at the End of this Book."

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00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:36,863
Peter? Stewie? Wh...
where'd you guys go?

180
00:09:37,697 --> 00:09:40,699
Lois, you need to, very carefully,

181
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,035
remove that book from this room.

182
00:09:43,036 --> 00:09:44,453
Why bring it into the house?

183
00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,954
Why take that chance?

184
00:09:45,955 --> 00:09:47,998
Peter, enough. Read to Stewie.

185
00:09:47,999 --> 00:09:49,792
I'm an introvert. I gotta recharge.

186
00:09:49,793 --> 00:09:50,876
You know the rules.

187
00:09:50,877 --> 00:09:53,337
One of us has to be
with him at all times.

188
00:09:53,338 --> 00:09:55,339
Ugh, I can't live with all these rules.

189
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:58,258
Why does Meg get to live
her best life in Denver?

190
00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:07,059
Um, Congresswoman Boebert, could
you please stop touching me there?

191
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,521
I'm a woman. My pants
are just bunched up.

192
00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:15,025
If I'm going to live under Lois's rule,

193
00:10:15,026 --> 00:10:17,069
I've got to take a little mental escape.

194
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:19,823
Brian's gotta have some loose
gummies in here somewhere.

195
00:10:22,075 --> 00:10:24,911
Oh, Bri, you beautiful scumbag.

196
00:10:26,621 --> 00:10:27,788
Ooh, sativa.

197
00:10:27,789 --> 00:10:29,666
That means nothing to me or anyone.

198
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:37,924
Whoa.

199
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:42,928
Peter? Where are you?

200
00:10:42,929 --> 00:10:44,596
Relax. I just went to the bathroom.

201
00:10:44,597 --> 00:10:48,058
Relax? Stewie is unattended
in front of the TV.

202
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:50,269
He could easily turn
into something terrible,

203
00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,895
like Paramount+.

204
00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:53,689
Lois, you got to relax.

205
00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:56,400
What would Dr. Cosby
do in this situation?

206
00:10:56,401 --> 00:11:00,237
You put the plop in
the drink go fizz-fizz

207
00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:03,283
and make her go sleepidy floppity floo.

208
00:11:04,529 --> 00:11:06,865
Of course. Thank you, Dr. Cosby.

209
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,667
May I go to the bathroom, Warden?

210
00:11:13,668 --> 00:11:14,793
You just went.

211
00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:16,504
I do different stuff every time!

212
00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:20,132
Mmm.

213
00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:22,594
This chewy Zin is excellent.

214
00:11:28,725 --> 00:11:30,726
It's close to hitting that corner.

215
00:11:30,727 --> 00:11:32,436
Yeah, it's gonna hit it on the next one.

216
00:11:36,065 --> 00:11:37,275
You can talk?

217
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:39,735
You can understand me?

218
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:42,362
Oh, I've been waiting
a long time to say this.

219
00:11:42,363 --> 00:11:43,488
Here goes.

220
00:11:43,489 --> 00:11:47,075
Please stop buying the cheap
baby wipes. They tear me up.

221
00:11:47,216 --> 00:11:51,121
Oh, great. Your first words
to me are a grocery critique.

222
00:11:51,122 --> 00:11:52,289
Hey, guess what?

223
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,958
I think Baby Shark is a terrible song.

224
00:11:54,959 --> 00:11:56,418
And Dora sucks.

225
00:11:56,419 --> 00:11:57,669
All right.

226
00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,630
We've clearly gotten off
on the wrong foot here.

227
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,797
Let's start over.

228
00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:02,008
Hi, Stewie Griffin.

229
00:12:07,598 --> 00:12:10,933
I just... I can't believe you can talk.

230
00:12:10,934 --> 00:12:12,435
Not only can I talk...

231
00:12:23,905 --> 00:12:25,322
I love this.

232
00:12:25,323 --> 00:12:27,324
Did Peter do this once?

233
00:12:27,325 --> 00:12:29,660
Eh, he... he mumbled his
way through it, but yeah.

234
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:32,204
I don't understand how we're talking.

235
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,914
Probably because we're both zonked?

236
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:37,209
I would never
do that in front of my baby.

237
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:40,003
Okay, then tell me something
about the Dave Matthews Band.

238
00:12:40,004 --> 00:12:43,465
Carter Beauford is the best
drummer of his genera...

239
00:12:43,466 --> 00:12:45,509
Oh, my God, I am zonked.

240
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,347
So, I, uh, found some gummies
in Bri's car and dosed us both.

241
00:12:49,889 --> 00:12:52,057
- Are you mad?
- Well, I should be,

242
00:12:52,058 --> 00:12:54,434
but this is kind of awesome.

243
00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:56,270
I'm talking to my baby.

244
00:12:56,271 --> 00:12:58,897
Honestly, if I were you,
I'd do this all the time.

245
00:12:58,898 --> 00:13:00,023
You put up with a lot.

246
00:13:00,024 --> 00:13:02,276
Really? You think so?

247
00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:03,610
I mean, yes. Look at Peter.

248
00:13:03,611 --> 00:13:06,154
He treats you like garbage
and does zero to help out.

249
00:13:06,155 --> 00:13:07,489
Why do you let him do that?

250
00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:09,658
Oh, you are getting right in there.

251
00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:11,201
It's tough, you know.

252
00:13:11,202 --> 00:13:12,911
You commit to somebody for life

253
00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:15,998
when you're, like, 19,
and you know nothing.

254
00:13:15,999 --> 00:13:17,708
Damn. Yeah.

255
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,919
And it may be hard to
believe, but when he was 19,

256
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,046
Peter was stunning.

257
00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:24,840
I mean, weirdly, I can see it.

258
00:13:24,841 --> 00:13:28,802
Besides, he... he's gonna be
dead in a couple of years, anyway.

259
00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:31,388
By then, my trust fund will vest,

260
00:13:31,389 --> 00:13:34,099
and I'm gonna be playin'
in a whole different league.

261
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,101
Oh, that's good. Okay,
good, you got a plan.

262
00:13:36,102 --> 00:13:37,769
That's... that's cool. That's cool.

263
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,524
Hey, what's the story with Chris?

264
00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:44,109
It just doesn't seem like he's...

265
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,277
How do I say this?

266
00:13:45,278 --> 00:13:46,611
thriving, you know?

267
00:13:46,612 --> 00:13:50,490
I fell down an escalator
when I was pregnant with him.

268
00:13:50,491 --> 00:13:52,868
He totally has an escalator head vibe.

269
00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:54,411
Yeah.

270
00:13:54,412 --> 00:13:57,790
We tried to sue the mall,
but then the mall just closed.

271
00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:00,084
Remember malls?

272
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:04,129
You know Brian loves you, right?

273
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:05,922
Yeah, I know.

274
00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,924
No, like, he really loves you.

275
00:14:07,925 --> 00:14:09,801
I know, I know.

276
00:14:09,802 --> 00:14:12,137
I don't quite know how to handle it,

277
00:14:12,138 --> 00:14:14,806
but, aw, he's such a good boy.

278
00:14:14,807 --> 00:14:16,767
And he'll be dead in
a couple of years so...

279
00:14:18,728 --> 00:14:21,063
You... you are one twisted lady.

280
00:14:21,064 --> 00:14:22,981
You should try out
for the Capitol Steps.

281
00:14:22,982 --> 00:14:25,526
- What's that?
- I don't know. It's weird at the Swansons.

282
00:14:26,152 --> 00:14:29,196
Oh, my God. What if we
did an adventure together?

283
00:14:29,197 --> 00:14:31,531
Oh, yes. I know the
perfect thing for this vibe.

284
00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:35,077
Watch The Big Lebowski at a
small theater by a college.

285
00:14:35,078 --> 00:14:36,453
Okay.

286
00:14:36,454 --> 00:14:38,872
- Do you think I'll like it?
- You'll think it's fine.

287
00:14:38,873 --> 00:14:40,249
All women think it's fine.

288
00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:48,590
Huh. Wouldn't you think John
Goodman would be the Big Lebowski?

289
00:14:48,591 --> 00:14:50,717
Whoa, yeah. Oh, that's good.

290
00:14:50,718 --> 00:14:52,761
I have a million of
these thoughts a day.

291
00:14:52,762 --> 00:14:55,055
Who am I supposed to tell
'em to? Freakin' Bonnie?

292
00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,431
Can I... Can I say something?

293
00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:59,142
Bonnie's not pretty enough
to be as mean as she is.

294
00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:01,937
Yes! That. That.

295
00:15:01,938 --> 00:15:04,189
I'm really enjoying
being on drugs with you.

296
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,358
I don't know why people
say drugs are bad.

297
00:15:06,359 --> 00:15:09,611
Oof. Oh, bad time for Philip
Seymour Hoffman to show up.

298
00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:12,405
I can't stop thinking about
the girl who sold us the tickets

299
00:15:12,406 --> 00:15:14,491
and then had to run
and make the popcorn.

300
00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:16,910
Yeah. And I saw a broom
by the popcorn maker,

301
00:15:16,911 --> 00:15:19,122
so you know she's
putting on one more hat.

302
00:15:21,374 --> 00:15:23,500
- I'm still hungry.
- I'm starving.

303
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:25,001
We gotta go to IHOP, right?

304
00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:26,129
Have to.

305
00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,005
Thank you so much.

306
00:15:29,006 --> 00:15:31,300
We had such a nice time.

307
00:15:35,304 --> 00:15:37,931
You know our waitress was the
girl from the movie theater, right?

308
00:15:37,932 --> 00:15:39,182
Yeah, I couldn't look up.

309
00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:41,017
Nobody's rooting for her harder than me,

310
00:15:41,018 --> 00:15:43,228
but you just know she's
not getting our order right.

311
00:15:43,229 --> 00:15:45,230
Yeah, just write it down. God.

312
00:15:45,231 --> 00:15:46,690
Okay, real talk.

313
00:15:46,691 --> 00:15:47,859
Sometimes...

314
00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:52,237
I get the feeling that I might
love you more than you love me,

315
00:15:52,238 --> 00:15:53,281
which is fine.

316
00:15:54,031 --> 00:15:56,658
You're not wrong. Honestly, I
can't believe I'm saying this,

317
00:15:56,659 --> 00:16:00,370
but there was a time when I
actually wanted to kill you.

318
00:16:00,371 --> 00:16:02,330
What?

319
00:16:02,331 --> 00:16:04,040
Why would you wanna do that?

320
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,959
Maybe because you're such a doormat.

321
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,586
You let everyone walk all over you,

322
00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:09,504
your husband, your kids, Bonnie.

323
00:16:09,505 --> 00:16:12,799
I... I don't understand why that
would make you wanna kill me?

324
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,926
I thought it was because I hated you,

325
00:16:14,927 --> 00:16:18,555
but maybe I just wanted to
put you out of your misery.

326
00:16:18,556 --> 00:16:22,310
I think I wanted to kill
you because I came from you.

327
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:26,396
Whatever is in you must also be in me.

328
00:16:26,397 --> 00:16:28,940
I wanted to kill the part of myself

329
00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:30,568
that scares me the most.

330
00:16:31,152 --> 00:16:34,321
Whoa.

331
00:16:34,322 --> 00:16:35,323
You're mad at me.

332
00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:48,460
IHOP must be a rabbit's
favorite restaurant, right?

333
00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:49,544
Yeah.

334
00:16:49,545 --> 00:16:52,172
You're gonna get us kicked out of here.

335
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:53,612
Thanks for sharing.

336
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:56,812
That was hard to hear, but it's okay.

337
00:16:57,053 --> 00:16:59,721
I'm your mom, and my job is to love you

338
00:16:59,722 --> 00:17:01,891
to the moon and back, no matter what.

339
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:03,935
Do you feel that?

340
00:17:05,144 --> 00:17:07,103
Yeah, I do.

341
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:09,022
Good. Then I'm doing my job.

342
00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:11,317
And all you gotta do is just be a kid.

343
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,195
We ordered omelets.

344
00:17:14,695 --> 00:17:16,571
Oh, no, no. This is good,
though. This is good.

345
00:17:16,572 --> 00:17:19,200
Better than what we ordered. Yay.

346
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,124
No, no, I'm just joking. I'm not gonna.

347
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:31,086
No, you can. It's just a silly game.

348
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:32,170
Okay.

349
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,370
Ahhh!

350
00:17:33,381 --> 00:17:35,048
- Mama! Mama, I'm sorry!
- Oh, God!

351
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:39,386
- Gotcha.
- Mom. Whoa.

352
00:17:39,387 --> 00:17:41,263
Where has this Lois been?

353
00:17:41,264 --> 00:17:43,431
Yeah, I should let her come out more.

354
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:46,059
I didn't used to be
so uptight, you know.

355
00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:48,937
- I... I used to be crazy and fun.
- Really?

356
00:17:48,938 --> 00:17:52,357
I... I shouldn't be telling
you this, but once in college...

357
00:17:52,358 --> 00:17:54,776
This is nuts. Okay.

358
00:17:54,777 --> 00:17:58,196
Well, my friends and I, we stayed
up till 1:00 in the morning,

359
00:17:58,197 --> 00:18:01,825
playing Jimmy Crack Corn with
spoons on the bathroom sink.

360
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:04,286
O... Okay?

361
00:18:04,287 --> 00:18:07,582
Yeah. It was just, like, really crazy.

362
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:10,917
Hey, we should get back at Bonnie

363
00:18:10,918 --> 00:18:12,669
for how mean she always is to you.

364
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:13,878
Yes!

365
00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,213
I'll go get spoons.

366
00:18:15,214 --> 00:18:17,257
Do you know Jimmy Crack
Corn? I can teach you.

367
00:18:17,258 --> 00:18:19,509
We'll sing it so loud.

368
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:21,469
No, no. Just follow my lead.

369
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,389
I wanted to get that out of the way.

370
00:18:24,348 --> 00:18:27,058
Bonnie gives you crap, we give her crap.

371
00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:28,769
- Griffin style.
- Uh...

372
00:18:29,395 --> 00:18:31,813
I'm not gonna be able to go.

373
00:18:31,814 --> 00:18:33,857
Mom, I've known you since I was a baby.

374
00:18:33,858 --> 00:18:35,775
You try too hard with everything.

375
00:18:35,776 --> 00:18:37,193
You're wound so tightly.

376
00:18:37,194 --> 00:18:39,029
Just let it go, babe. Just let it...

377
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,780
I did it!

378
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:42,073
I just let it go.

379
00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:43,950
Yes, the movie popcorn and IHOP

380
00:18:43,951 --> 00:18:45,036
probably get an assist.

381
00:18:48,873 --> 00:18:49,956
What a night.

382
00:18:49,957 --> 00:18:52,584
We should go on a trip,
like to Tuscany or something.

383
00:18:52,585 --> 00:18:54,711
Oh. Like an Eat Pray Love.

384
00:18:54,712 --> 00:18:57,547
Yeah, like a... like a
mom and son pisghetti trip.

385
00:18:57,548 --> 00:18:58,674
Want another Oreo?

386
00:18:59,258 --> 00:19:01,426
Ah!

387
00:19:01,427 --> 00:19:03,470
Gotcha!

388
00:19:03,471 --> 00:19:06,806
Oh. You remember your
Oreo tantrum earlier?

389
00:19:06,807 --> 00:19:10,143
You know, my tantrums are never
about the thing they're about.

390
00:19:10,144 --> 00:19:11,811
Oh. What do you mean?

391
00:19:11,812 --> 00:19:13,897
It's a generalized lack of control.

392
00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:16,650
I have no autonomy. I'm on
everyone else's schedule.

393
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:19,694
Stewie, I see you. I hear you.

394
00:19:19,695 --> 00:19:21,529
And I feel the same way.

395
00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:23,698
- All adults do.
- They do?

396
00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:27,243
I mean, I'm not strapped in a
car seat, but I may as well be.

397
00:19:27,244 --> 00:19:29,621
Every day it's shopping,

398
00:19:29,622 --> 00:19:30,872
chores, cleaning, repeat.

399
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:32,333
So, it's not just me?

400
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,209
Thanks, Mom.

401
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,170
Oh, I love you, sweetie.

402
00:19:41,175 --> 00:19:44,010
So, you're not gonna kill me, right?

403
00:19:44,011 --> 00:19:45,513
Not anytime soon.

404
00:19:50,226 --> 00:19:54,270
Joe! Why are there three
human poos on our lawn?

405
00:19:54,271 --> 00:19:55,897
Two of them aren't mine.

406
00:20:13,332 --> 00:20:14,458
Why am I on the floor?

407
00:20:15,042 --> 00:20:17,961
- Why are you here?
- Why am I in Stewie's room?

408
00:20:17,962 --> 00:20:19,796
I don't remember anything.

409
00:20:19,797 --> 00:20:22,465
This is like The Hangover
with Justin Bartha.

410
00:20:22,466 --> 00:20:23,967
Yeah, nobody thinks of it like that.

411
00:20:23,968 --> 00:20:25,135
Oh, there you are.

412
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:28,096
I have no memory of
what happened last night.

413
00:20:28,097 --> 00:20:30,432
Yet, I have the strangest feeling

414
00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:33,977
that Stewie and I, we
shared something special.

415
00:20:33,978 --> 00:20:35,229
Pancakes, please.

416
00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:38,523
Yes, it's strange, Rupert,
but I feel the same way.

417
00:20:38,524 --> 00:20:40,191
Something changed with us.

418
00:20:40,192 --> 00:20:42,445
I think this is a whole new beginning.

419
00:20:43,654 --> 00:20:46,239
Uh-uh-uh. Too early, little guy.

420
00:20:49,285 --> 00:20:51,077
Oh, my God. What is wrong with you?

421
00:20:51,078 --> 00:20:52,663
It's just Oreos.

422
00:20:53,664 --> 00:20:57,375
Well, I guess we'll always
have whatever last night was.

423
00:20:57,376 --> 00:21:00,587
We're out of your Tom's of
Maine Rough and Dry Baby Wipes.

424
00:21:00,588 --> 00:21:01,589
I'll order more.

425
00:21:02,673 --> 00:21:03,883
I'm gonna kill her.

426
00:21:07,522 --> 00:21:12,522
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