1
00:00:34,073 --> 00:00:36,283
We now return to Hung Sheldon.

2
00:00:38,702 --> 00:00:41,455
I don't think I have to
say smart stuff anymore.

3
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,832
Bazinga.

4
00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:47,669
Hello, family. Just wanted
to give you guys a heads up

5
00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:50,046
that I have catastrophically
clogged the toilet.

6
00:00:50,047 --> 00:00:51,839
Catastrophically clogged?

7
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,926
Well, let's just say your dress
shoe couldn't scoop it all out.

8
00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:56,511
And the Emmy goes to...

9
00:00:58,340 --> 00:00:59,764
Bob's Burgers.

10
00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:05,228
Stupid thing's political.

11
00:01:05,229 --> 00:01:07,605
Ugh! I guess everybody
will just have to make

12
00:01:07,606 --> 00:01:09,649
a family trip to Starbucks.

13
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:12,318
Well, I can't leave without
my bathroom-reading material.

14
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,153
I'm gonna bring my pick-up artist book.

15
00:01:14,154 --> 00:01:15,363
I'm learning how to neg.

16
00:01:15,364 --> 00:01:17,198
You can read that when you get home.

17
00:01:17,199 --> 00:01:19,577
You know, you're pretty for
a broad with small boobs.

18
00:01:20,244 --> 00:01:22,037
I got to read Chapter two.

19
00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:28,501
God, this place is sad.

20
00:01:28,502 --> 00:01:30,546
Look at that loser
working on his screenplay.

21
00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:33,423
- Oh, that's Brian.
- Interior...

22
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:35,425
Space Brothel... Day.

23
00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:36,884
You know, I think it has potential.

24
00:01:36,885 --> 00:01:39,053
Why do we always come to a coffee shop

25
00:01:39,054 --> 00:01:40,763
when our toilets don't work?

26
00:01:40,764 --> 00:01:43,266
Well, coffee shop toilets are strong.

27
00:01:43,267 --> 00:01:44,851
They're stress-tested daily

28
00:01:44,852 --> 00:01:46,519
and are guaranteed to be able to flush

29
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,271
a homeless man's pants.

30
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,359
What you're picking up is Pop-Tarts

31
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,403
and a hint of mango White Claw.

32
00:01:55,404 --> 00:01:56,529
No...

33
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:58,281
Is that... No!

34
00:01:58,282 --> 00:01:59,408
It can't be.

35
00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:08,916
Pumpkin spice latte is back?

36
00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:10,543
But it's a day early.

37
00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:13,421
I have a
Google alert on my phone for that

38
00:02:13,422 --> 00:02:14,672
and Luke Hemsworth.

39
00:02:14,673 --> 00:02:15,965
I wanna be the first one to know

40
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,842
when he becomes a successful actor.

41
00:02:17,843 --> 00:02:19,844
I also see you had a pap smear today.

42
00:02:19,845 --> 00:02:22,472
Yeah, my pap is still a little tender.

43
00:02:22,473 --> 00:02:25,475
Anyway, two pumpkin
spice lattes, please.

44
00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:27,602
You can say I like those a lot-te.

45
00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:32,190
Cool beans, huh?

46
00:02:32,191 --> 00:02:34,234
What brew-tiful news!

47
00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,569
Okay. You got to give me something here.

48
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,654
I live in my car.

49
00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:39,572
Oh. Way to make it all about you.

50
00:02:40,741 --> 00:02:44,077
Meg, it's the start of
pumpkin spice latte season!

51
00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:46,120
- What's that?
- A very special day

52
00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:47,455
for white women everywhere,

53
00:02:47,456 --> 00:02:49,624
even bigger than Martha
Stewart's birthday.

54
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:50,917
- August 3rd.
- Honey,

55
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:52,794
there comes a day when every white girl

56
00:02:52,795 --> 00:02:54,671
must become a white woman.

57
00:02:54,672 --> 00:02:56,422
Today is that day.

58
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,185
You don't tell me to connect the dots.

59
00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:52,353
You connect your own dots.

60
00:03:52,354 --> 00:03:54,564
Oh, my God! It's a giraffe! Lois, look!

61
00:03:54,565 --> 00:03:56,190
I thought it was going
to be a palm tree,

62
00:03:56,191 --> 00:03:57,942
but the antlers were a dead giveaway.

63
00:03:57,943 --> 00:03:59,861
Hey, bitch. Let's get PSLs.

64
00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:01,696
Mama wants to nut some megs.

65
00:04:01,697 --> 00:04:03,406
Oh, honey, it's been a month.

66
00:04:03,407 --> 00:04:05,867
Pumpkin spice latte season is over.

67
00:04:05,868 --> 00:04:07,952
Over? What do you mean over?

68
00:04:07,953 --> 00:04:10,037
Well, it's a seasonal beverage.

69
00:04:10,038 --> 00:04:12,665
I mean, this is why I always
have withdrawals this time of year

70
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:15,376
and quickly lose patience
with family and friends.

71
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:18,963
I told you,
no straws in the living room!

72
00:04:21,758 --> 00:04:24,135
Let me make you something fall-adjacent

73
00:04:24,136 --> 00:04:25,553
that will help tide you over.

74
00:04:25,554 --> 00:04:27,680
- Mama?
- What the deuce, Stewie?

75
00:04:27,887 --> 00:04:29,722
Ah! That's where that comes from.

76
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:31,684
Here you go.

77
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,770
A nice cup of green tea you can drink

78
00:04:33,771 --> 00:04:35,938
until it's the same
temperature as the room

79
00:04:35,939 --> 00:04:37,316
and then leave half full.

80
00:04:47,242 --> 00:04:49,035
Hi. I'm Green Tea.

81
00:04:49,036 --> 00:04:51,245
I have an extra ticket
to see Three Dog Night

82
00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:52,622
at the fairground this weekend.

83
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,290
It's none of the original members

84
00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:56,000
and none of the original fake members.

85
00:04:56,001 --> 00:05:00,087
What do you say we
Shambala over around 06:00?

86
00:05:00,088 --> 00:05:01,672
This sucks.

87
00:05:01,673 --> 00:05:03,883
Hey, can you guys stop
going on drug trips?

88
00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:06,135
I haven't had my diaper
changed since October.

89
00:05:06,136 --> 00:05:08,846
I'm sorry, Meg. It's just the way it is.

90
00:05:08,847 --> 00:05:10,014
You'll get used to it.

91
00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:11,849
I'll tell you exactly what it is.

92
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,142
Misogyny.

93
00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:15,186
This is them taking
things away from women.

94
00:05:15,187 --> 00:05:18,189
Why can't the patriarchy
let us have this one thing?

95
00:05:21,478 --> 00:05:22,485
Hey, my dudes.

96
00:05:22,486 --> 00:05:26,239
On today's agenda, we're deciding
what women can and can't have.

97
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,573
We're in Q4,

98
00:05:27,574 --> 00:05:30,535
so pumpkin spice lattes are out.

99
00:05:30,536 --> 00:05:33,037
And where did we land
on reproductive rights?

100
00:05:33,038 --> 00:05:34,288
They gone!

101
00:05:34,289 --> 00:05:35,790
Before we go any further,

102
00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:38,334
would anyone like to
yell an Anchorman quote?

103
00:05:38,335 --> 00:05:40,002
Milk was a bad choice.

104
00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,170
Whale's vagina!

105
00:05:41,171 --> 00:05:44,090
Right on. Now, let's
take a quick stand break

106
00:05:44,091 --> 00:05:46,425
to unstick our testicles from our legs.

107
00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:49,428
Yeah.

108
00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,722
This arbitrary cutoff is BS.

109
00:05:51,723 --> 00:05:53,182
I bet they have all the ingredients

110
00:05:53,183 --> 00:05:54,934
just sitting there in some storage room.

111
00:05:54,935 --> 00:05:56,435
You know what?

112
00:05:56,436 --> 00:05:57,812
What are you doing?

113
00:05:57,813 --> 00:05:59,730
This table has a very
strict weight limit,

114
00:05:59,731 --> 00:06:00,815
and you're testing it.

115
00:06:00,816 --> 00:06:03,568
We need to rise up and
take back our country...

116
00:06:03,569 --> 00:06:05,403
I mean, seasonal beverage.

117
00:06:05,404 --> 00:06:07,447
- Are you in?
- I'm in.

118
00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:13,703
Hey, Chris, can you stop
using me as your recovery email

119
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:14,787
for Pornhub?

120
00:06:14,788 --> 00:06:15,997
You don't need an account.

121
00:06:15,998 --> 00:06:17,999
You do to post comments.

122
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,668
Pornhub, join the conversation.

123
00:06:25,048 --> 00:06:26,924
Guess our many pandemic hobbies

124
00:06:26,925 --> 00:06:28,676
are finally paying off.

125
00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:31,137
All right, since we have
more time on our hands,

126
00:06:31,138 --> 00:06:33,097
we're gonna get into social justice.

127
00:06:33,098 --> 00:06:36,225
And I got a Black Lives
Matter sign to put on our lawn.

128
00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:37,643
Ooh! We should also put up a sign

129
00:06:37,644 --> 00:06:39,520
in support of the trans community.

130
00:06:39,521 --> 00:06:40,938
I don't know, Meg.

131
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:43,149
Suddenly, everything's
sounding very cluttered.

132
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:47,028
Mom's high school swimming
records are getting shattered.

133
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,365
Meg, I found it!

134
00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:56,787
Nice! Up top, bitch.

135
00:06:56,788 --> 00:06:58,706
Can you stop calling me that?

136
00:06:58,707 --> 00:07:00,875
Whoa! What's this?

137
00:07:00,876 --> 00:07:03,377
Starbucks used to sell a lot of CDs.

138
00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:05,713
They propped up Michael Buble for years.

139
00:07:05,714 --> 00:07:08,674
Joni Mitchell, Alanis Morissette...

140
00:07:08,675 --> 00:07:10,343
The Diana Krall?

141
00:07:10,344 --> 00:07:12,511
What's this really tall stack?

142
00:07:12,512 --> 00:07:16,932
Oh! It's the audio book for
Kamala Harris's The Truths We Hold.

143
00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:18,560
Well, now I'm just sad.

144
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:27,819
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

145
00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:32,156
Coming up... my adult
nephew's band "Forged in Steel"

146
00:07:32,157 --> 00:07:34,408
will be playing at
the Cat Club on Friday.

147
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:36,202
Is that enough uncle-ing
for you, Denise?

148
00:07:36,203 --> 00:07:38,079
But first, a brazen robbery occurred

149
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,872
at a Quahog coffee shop last night,

150
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:42,625
with the assailants stealing
a proprietary spice blend

151
00:07:42,626 --> 00:07:44,919
used to make pumpkin spice lattes.

152
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,588
An eyewitness reports seeing
two people fleeing the scene,

153
00:07:47,589 --> 00:07:50,007
a woman he quote, "Would like to jump,"

154
00:07:50,008 --> 00:07:51,384
and a second woman.

155
00:07:51,385 --> 00:07:53,803
We now turn to local cop Joe Swanson,

156
00:07:53,804 --> 00:07:55,639
who is taking this very seriously.

157
00:07:56,348 --> 00:07:58,683
I'm now going to answer
some questions from reporters

158
00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:00,644
that this microphone is not picking up.

159
00:08:02,521 --> 00:08:03,855
No, not at this time.

160
00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:08,026
We're monitoring that.

161
00:08:10,696 --> 00:08:11,697
Yes.

162
00:08:13,615 --> 00:08:17,118
About 45 minutes at 375 degrees.

163
00:08:17,119 --> 00:08:19,120
We have to keep a low profile.

164
00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:20,287
Good thinking.

165
00:08:20,288 --> 00:08:22,123
I'll go on social media
and let everyone know

166
00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:24,208
I'm taking a mental health break.

167
00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:26,794
Meg, no one cares. Just don't post.

168
00:08:26,795 --> 00:08:27,921
I think they do.

169
00:08:30,632 --> 00:08:31,924
Oh, right.

170
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,677
I forgot to unfollow her.

171
00:08:42,706 --> 00:08:44,979
Good God, woman.

172
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:47,189
Hi, Lois.

173
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:50,234
I just wanted to say I noticed
how your windows have been looking.

174
00:08:50,235 --> 00:08:51,902
Windex is on aisle 9.

175
00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:53,904
Wow. That's like the woman equivalent

176
00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:55,489
of getting stabbed in the face.

177
00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:57,658
Well, I appreciate that, Bonnie.

178
00:08:57,659 --> 00:09:00,077
You know, maybe you should
focus on your hydrangeas.

179
00:09:00,078 --> 00:09:01,663
They're looking a little pale.

180
00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:06,250
Hmmm. What interesting
perfume you've got on!

181
00:09:06,251 --> 00:09:10,463
Nutmeg, clove, a little
bit of brown ginger?

182
00:09:10,464 --> 00:09:13,466
I'd say that smells
like pumpkin spice latte,

183
00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:16,093
but... that would be crazy.

184
00:09:16,094 --> 00:09:18,789
Well, Jamaican me crazy.

185
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,181
Embarrassing.

186
00:09:20,182 --> 00:09:23,560
Coffee without creamer,
insulator sleeves,

187
00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:25,478
pregnancy test?

188
00:09:25,479 --> 00:09:26,483
That's for me.

189
00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:29,120
Veronica from baby piano is late. Again.

190
00:09:29,232 --> 00:09:30,901
That's why the rosary
beads are there too.

191
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,655
It's you.

192
00:09:36,656 --> 00:09:38,491
You're the coffee shop thief.

193
00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:41,285
Shh! Okay, what do you
want? You want money?

194
00:09:41,286 --> 00:09:43,537
I want in.

195
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:47,458
Otherwise, I can't guarantee
what I may or may not tell Joe.

196
00:09:47,459 --> 00:09:50,586
All right, fine. But you
can't tell anyone else.

197
00:09:50,587 --> 00:09:52,129
I'm very discreet.

198
00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:54,757
I take every secret to my grave.

199
00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:57,843
Like, for example, did you know
that Tom Hanks has a passion

200
00:09:57,844 --> 00:09:59,261
for vintage typewriters?

201
00:09:59,262 --> 00:10:01,639
Bonnie, I read that in Parade Magazine.

202
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,142
Well, they didn't hear it from me.

203
00:10:09,648 --> 00:10:11,857
Give me the pumpkin spice latte.

204
00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:15,111
I... I'm sorry, but I don't
know what you're talking about.

205
00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:16,570
I saw the bat signal.

206
00:10:16,571 --> 00:10:17,781
We all did.

207
00:10:21,284 --> 00:10:22,409
Bonnie.

208
00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:26,372
I know you have some. Give it to
me right now. I am filming you.

209
00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:29,416
And I'm filming you because
this is how I deal with conflict.

210
00:10:29,417 --> 00:10:31,043
And I'm filming you filming her

211
00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:33,879
because I have a TikTok about
women who don't support women.

212
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,923
Ladies, I'm sorry, but I just don't...

213
00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:38,634
Pumpkin spice! Pumpkin spice!

214
00:10:38,781 --> 00:10:41,700
- Pumpkin spice!
- I borrowed this from my white husband.

215
00:10:41,711 --> 00:10:43,264
Pack the bags, Donna.

216
00:10:43,265 --> 00:10:44,640
Pack the bags, Neil.

217
00:10:44,641 --> 00:10:45,766
Oh, no.

218
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,268
Pack the bags, Dennis.

219
00:10:47,269 --> 00:10:49,937
- Mykonos?
- Well, we hadn't been in three weeks.

220
00:10:49,938 --> 00:10:51,605
You get the mesh bag of sandals

221
00:10:51,606 --> 00:10:53,774
and I'll get all our Greece greases.

222
00:10:53,775 --> 00:10:56,026
Pumpkin spice! Pumpkin spice!

223
00:10:56,027 --> 00:10:57,153
Okay, okay.

224
00:10:57,154 --> 00:11:00,406
We can get you all pumpkin
spice lattes tomorrow.

225
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,605
Okay, Meg. We got 24 hours
to replenish our supply.

226
00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:04,994
Mom, what are you doing?

227
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:08,247
Don't worry, Meg. I know
exactly how we can monetize this.

228
00:11:08,248 --> 00:11:10,541
I took the Bill Gates Masterclass.

229
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:12,710
I was never on Epstein's plane.

230
00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:13,794
And if I was,

231
00:11:13,795 --> 00:11:16,255
it just a routine flight for my charity.

232
00:11:16,256 --> 00:11:17,715
But I wasn't.

233
00:11:17,716 --> 00:11:19,259
Microsoft.

234
00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:29,268
- Password?
- Dressing on the side.

235
00:11:33,899 --> 00:11:35,566
Ooh!

236
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:38,819
We accept cash, Venmo
or Etsy gift cards.

237
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,279
We prefer Etsy gift cards.

238
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,449
Actually, we only take Etsy gift cards.

239
00:11:48,747 --> 00:11:50,831
There goes the neighborhood.

240
00:11:50,832 --> 00:11:54,877
Hummingbird feeders and those
damn free libraries everywhere,

241
00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:56,879
constant smell of banana bread.

242
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,256
Look at them. Eating
granola like it's cereal.

243
00:11:59,257 --> 00:12:01,926
It's supposed to be
sprinkled on top of something.

244
00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:04,511
It's too calorically dense, otherwise!

245
00:12:04,512 --> 00:12:07,056
Tom's of Maine is owned by Colgate!

246
00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:08,182
Liar!

247
00:12:08,183 --> 00:12:09,558
Look it up!

248
00:12:14,898 --> 00:12:16,357
Seventh one this month.

249
00:12:16,358 --> 00:12:18,067
Guys, we really need
to find some evidence

250
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:20,569
so I can have stuff to say
at the next press conference.

251
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,447
I knocked it out of the
park at the last one, and...

252
00:12:23,595 --> 00:12:25,388
people are expecting a lot.

253
00:12:25,423 --> 00:12:27,952
I can't believe someone
would do something like this.

254
00:12:27,953 --> 00:12:29,078
It's disgusting.

255
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,121
Starbucks is more than
just a coffee shop.

256
00:12:31,122 --> 00:12:32,706
It's a place where people come together

257
00:12:32,707 --> 00:12:35,542
and post flyers advertising
their bad improv shows.

258
00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:37,554
By the way, can you come see my Malcolm

259
00:12:37,564 --> 00:12:39,338
in the Giggle show next Wednesday?

260
00:12:39,339 --> 00:12:41,465
I would, but I'm going
to a Gimprov show.

261
00:12:41,466 --> 00:12:43,092
We're reclaiming that word.

262
00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,010
We're looking for a
suggestion from the audience.

263
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:46,595
Does anyone have an occupation?

264
00:12:46,596 --> 00:12:47,930
Former acrobat.

265
00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,682
Great. How about a location?

266
00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:52,351
C6, C7 between two vertebrae.

267
00:12:57,023 --> 00:12:59,776
Fellas, I think we just
got a break in this case.

268
00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:05,197
This isn't for the case, but I'm
taking these napkins for my car.

269
00:13:05,198 --> 00:13:08,660
The other day I had to drive
home blind after a wet sneeze.

270
00:13:11,746 --> 00:13:13,956
There's a three-week
backlog at the lab.

271
00:13:13,957 --> 00:13:15,457
Thought you might be able to help.

272
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,875
You've come to the right place.

273
00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:19,670
I have a database of every
woman's foot in Quahog.

274
00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:21,046
I call it The Footbook.

275
00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:22,549
Drop the "The". It's cleaner.

276
00:13:28,471 --> 00:13:30,431
Yeah. Uh-huh.

277
00:13:30,432 --> 00:13:32,474
You stop it right now.

278
00:13:32,475 --> 00:13:33,976
Are you talking to the footprint?

279
00:13:33,977 --> 00:13:36,145
The footprint and I are
having a conversation.

280
00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:37,479
It's a little like Harry Potter.

281
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,398
The admirer doesn't choose the foot.

282
00:13:39,399 --> 00:13:41,067
The foot has to choose the admirer.

283
00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:42,818
Let me just cross reference.

284
00:13:42,819 --> 00:13:45,112
- And, oh... that's very sad.
- What?

285
00:13:45,113 --> 00:13:48,240
It's a discontinued
Payless shoe from 2009.

286
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:51,201
A shoe so sad can only
belong to one woman.

287
00:13:51,202 --> 00:13:53,245
Olivia Wilde?

288
00:13:53,246 --> 00:13:54,371
She must be pretty sad.

289
00:13:54,372 --> 00:13:56,331
Tabloid culture overshadowed a movie

290
00:13:56,332 --> 00:13:58,208
the cast and crew worked so hard on.

291
00:13:58,209 --> 00:14:00,085
- No Joe. It's Lois.
- By the way,

292
00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:02,963
you could read more of my
movie reviews on my Letterboxd.

293
00:14:02,964 --> 00:14:05,424
Did you know the cast of
Oppenheimer lived together

294
00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:07,217
- while they were filming?
- Uh-huh.

295
00:14:07,218 --> 00:14:09,386
Cillian Murphy spent a
lot of time on his own.

296
00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:11,221
Kind of a lone wolf.

297
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:12,681
- Okay.
- Of course, by then

298
00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:14,266
most of the cast had seen his penis.

299
00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:15,768
You know that scene with Einstein?

300
00:14:15,769 --> 00:14:17,686
Originally, they had
both their penises out.

301
00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:21,231
Actors sometimes do that to
break down their emotional walls.

302
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:24,777
Thank God, he's gone.

303
00:14:24,778 --> 00:14:27,155
I've been holding in a major fart.

304
00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:35,246
Everything's hard for me, cat.

305
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:44,088
Thanks, Quagmire. This is
the smoking gun we needed.

306
00:14:44,089 --> 00:14:46,215
- We're gonna nail Lois.
- Really?

307
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:47,674
Can... Can I go first?

308
00:14:47,675 --> 00:14:49,343
No. I mean, we got to
slap the cuffs on her

309
00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:50,886
and throw her in the back of my car.

310
00:14:51,971 --> 00:14:54,306
Get her in her room and
drill her till she breaks.

311
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:57,643
See how she likes it in the can.

312
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:04,942
I'd like to see one of
those strong female attorneys

313
00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,443
try to get her off.

314
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:21,667
Everyone get in position.

315
00:15:21,668 --> 00:15:22,710
- Roger that.
- Copy.

316
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:25,922
Jerry, please acknowledge.

317
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,467
He's not acknowledging. I'm going in.

318
00:15:31,052 --> 00:15:33,470
Let's get this debutante ball started.

319
00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:39,853
Be professional, Jerry.

320
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,859
Hello.

321
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:48,527
I am a white woman named Kayhla,

322
00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:51,488
and I spell that in a very
complicated way for zero reason.

323
00:15:51,489 --> 00:15:53,824
Well, aren't you a cool glass of water?

324
00:15:53,825 --> 00:15:56,660
Why don't you come on in for
a nonconsensual shoulder rub?

325
00:15:56,661 --> 00:15:58,245
I just want to speak to your wife.

326
00:15:58,246 --> 00:16:00,706
Wife? We've been drifting
apart for a long time.

327
00:16:00,707 --> 00:16:03,167
So, is there a Mr. Kayhla?

328
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:05,502
There was. My husband was a wrestler.

329
00:16:05,503 --> 00:16:07,629
His doctor told him he
couldn't wrestle anymore.

330
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:08,881
But he loved it so much

331
00:16:08,882 --> 00:16:11,717
he wrestled one last time and died.

332
00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:14,678
Telling him not to wrestle was
like telling him not to breathe.

333
00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:16,471
That's so sad. That's,
literally, exactly

334
00:16:16,472 --> 00:16:18,432
what happened to Mickey
Rourke in The Wrestler.

335
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,766
No, it's very different.

336
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:20,851
Unlike Mickey Rourke,

337
00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:22,853
my husband's face was
completely disfigured

338
00:16:22,854 --> 00:16:24,563
by too much plastic surgery.

339
00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:26,607
Kayhla, you have got
to watch this movie.

340
00:16:26,608 --> 00:16:28,233
It's so similar to your life.

341
00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:29,693
Is Dad okay?

342
00:16:29,694 --> 00:16:32,196
It's brain fog from
having Covid 12 times.

343
00:16:32,197 --> 00:16:33,280
What do we do now?

344
00:16:33,281 --> 00:16:34,907
Look, we always knew
this time would come.

345
00:16:34,908 --> 00:16:38,035
Grab the pumpkin spice
from the garage and run.

346
00:16:38,036 --> 00:16:39,536
I'm sorry to be so forward.

347
00:16:39,537 --> 00:16:41,455
It's just that you're,
literally, any woman

348
00:16:41,456 --> 00:16:43,415
other than the one I'm allowed to have.

349
00:16:50,006 --> 00:16:51,548
Getting your own daughter involved?

350
00:16:51,549 --> 00:16:53,800
You're a sick woman, Lois Griffin.

351
00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,385
Joe?

352
00:16:55,386 --> 00:16:56,929
I'm sorry, Peter.

353
00:16:56,930 --> 00:17:00,098
But for what it's worth, Kayhla
found you very attractive.

354
00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:01,183
No. That's all right.

355
00:17:01,184 --> 00:17:04,394
I'll just work out this sexual
confusion in my porn searches later.

356
00:17:04,395 --> 00:17:06,897
I have an account
if you wanna leave a comment.

357
00:17:06,898 --> 00:17:09,524
Pornhub, fun for the whole family.

358
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,742
Oh, my God. We're
like Thelma and Louise.

359
00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,244
I've never felt so alive.

360
00:17:20,245 --> 00:17:21,828
Meg, unpair your phone.

361
00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:23,830
I'm driving. So we pair my phone.

362
00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:25,666
Seriously? Ugh! Fine.

363
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:26,834
Go ahead.

364
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:30,420
I can't connect until
you disconnect your phone.

365
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:32,297
You have to forget device.

366
00:17:32,298 --> 00:17:34,258
Go to settings, general,

367
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:36,718
network, Bluetooth, find "Car",

368
00:17:36,719 --> 00:17:38,637
then hit "Forget my device".

369
00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:40,847
Argh! We can't do it
while you're driving.

370
00:17:40,848 --> 00:17:42,266
The car has to be stopped.

371
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:44,393
Siri, forget device.

372
00:17:49,148 --> 00:17:50,232
Coming to you live.

373
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,067
We are in pursuit of two fugitives

374
00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:55,237
identified in the gruesome
pumpkin spice latte robberies.

375
00:17:55,238 --> 00:17:57,864
As you can see now, they're
headed down Route 95.

376
00:17:57,865 --> 00:18:00,951
Oh, yeah, right past that exterminator
with the big bug on the roof.

377
00:18:00,952 --> 00:18:02,327
Oh, Look. There it is.

378
00:18:02,328 --> 00:18:03,663
They do a nice little job.

379
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:06,457
It appears they're slowing down.

380
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,542
Siri!

381
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:11,670
Forget my device!

382
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:13,046
Yep. Just what I thought.

383
00:18:13,047 --> 00:18:15,299
Classic Bluetooth-pairing problem.

384
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:18,260
Okay. It appears they were
able to safely pair the phone.

385
00:18:18,261 --> 00:18:20,345
But it looks like the police
cruiser is pulling over

386
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:21,513
for similar reasons.

387
00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:23,932
Listen, I don't know what they're
teaching you at the academy,

388
00:18:23,933 --> 00:18:25,392
but this is day-one stuff.

389
00:18:25,393 --> 00:18:27,604
Go to settings, general, network...

390
00:18:28,187 --> 00:18:29,730
Oh? You got an Android?

391
00:18:29,731 --> 00:18:32,441
So you're the green
idiot on the group text.

392
00:18:37,155 --> 00:18:38,156
Peter?

393
00:18:39,115 --> 00:18:40,616
I can't find the remote.

394
00:18:40,617 --> 00:18:42,784
Did you check under the table?

395
00:18:42,785 --> 00:18:43,952
Yeah.

396
00:18:43,953 --> 00:18:45,413
No. Hold on.

397
00:18:47,832 --> 00:18:49,751
Okay, I found it. Thank you.

398
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:08,518
I'm sorry, Meg.

399
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:10,937
I never meant for things
to get so out of hand.

400
00:19:10,938 --> 00:19:12,064
Me too, Mom.

401
00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:13,607
But I gotta say,

402
00:19:13,608 --> 00:19:15,735
I enjoyed spending time with you.

403
00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:25,911
Should we go out in a
blaze of eternal glory?

404
00:19:25,912 --> 00:19:27,914
I'd like that very much.

405
00:19:29,332 --> 00:19:30,666
Uh, can I get a vote?

406
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,293
I've been here since you went to Target

407
00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:34,045
two days ago.

408
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:40,759
I guess this all could have been avoided

409
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,511
if there was another seasonal beverage

410
00:19:42,512 --> 00:19:44,721
that followed the pumpkin spice latte.

411
00:19:44,722 --> 00:19:46,723
Well, there is the peppermint mocha,

412
00:19:46,724 --> 00:19:48,517
but there's no comparison.

413
00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:51,186
I mean, yeah, it has candy on top of...

414
00:19:51,187 --> 00:19:52,604
of rich peppermint cream

415
00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:54,898
and basically tastes like
Christmas in a cup, but...

416
00:19:54,899 --> 00:19:57,527
Actually, that doesn't sound that bad.

417
00:19:58,403 --> 00:19:59,611
Are you me?

418
00:19:59,612 --> 00:20:00,613
Turn around!

419
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,281
It's too late.

420
00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:04,867
I'm buckled in. This should be fine.

421
00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:18,380
We've changed our minds!

422
00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:20,340
Oh, we made emotional decisions!

423
00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:22,008
Please save us, men!

424
00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:23,760
We got 'em, boys.

425
00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:24,928
I guess all that's left

426
00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:27,931
is for the husband to give
an emotional press conference.

427
00:20:29,267 --> 00:20:31,561
It's time we forgive Kevin Spacey.

428
00:20:32,186 --> 00:20:34,312
That will be my only
statement at this time.

429
00:20:34,313 --> 00:20:35,481
Thank you.

430
00:20:44,991 --> 00:20:47,117
I already joined three prison gangs.

431
00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:48,785
We got community service.

432
00:20:48,786 --> 00:20:50,078
Yeah, I know.

433
00:20:50,079 --> 00:20:51,539
I was getting ready just in case.

434
00:20:53,332 --> 00:20:55,167
Joe told 'em about The Footbook.

435
00:20:55,168 --> 00:20:57,377
Drop the "The". It's cleaner.

436
00:20:59,678 --> 00:21:04,678
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