1 00:00:38,994 --> 00:00:40,746 You see this crap about Ron DeSantis? 2 00:00:40,829 --> 00:00:43,916 He's sending a bus full of migrants from Florida up to Quahog. 3 00:00:44,072 --> 00:00:45,240 And I don't like it. 4 00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:47,082 Immigrants are trying to take jobs away 5 00:00:47,092 --> 00:00:48,963 from hardworking Americans like me. 6 00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:51,674 You faked Covid five times this month. 7 00:00:51,757 --> 00:00:54,635 Huh. They're having a rally tomorrow to welcome them here. 8 00:00:54,718 --> 00:00:57,221 I'm gonna go down there and see what's really going on. 9 00:00:57,304 --> 00:00:59,807 Have fun with the other unemployed, bleeding hearts. 10 00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:02,643 Peter, are you gonna do the dishes you said you'd do? 11 00:01:02,726 --> 00:01:05,229 Ugh! Can't we get an immigrant for that already? 12 00:01:10,818 --> 00:01:12,486 Where do you think you're going? 13 00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,530 Boar's Head is unveiling a new cold cut, 14 00:01:14,613 --> 00:01:16,115 and me and the guys won tickets. 15 00:01:16,198 --> 00:01:18,701 So far, they've only released a silhouette of the meat. 16 00:01:18,784 --> 00:01:19,910 I threw $100 on bison. 17 00:01:19,994 --> 00:01:21,870 - Never know. - Peter, We have dinner 18 00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:23,581 with Crystal and Clay tonight. 19 00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:25,666 We talked about this yesterday. 20 00:01:25,749 --> 00:01:28,502 Lois, was yesterday a hard alcohol day? 21 00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:30,004 Yes. 22 00:01:30,087 --> 00:01:31,949 And do I typically remember things 23 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,091 you say to me when I drink hard alcohol? 24 00:01:34,174 --> 00:01:36,385 - No. - Then why... 25 00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,887 I forget. I had hard alcohol today. 26 00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:45,853 How do we even know these people? 27 00:01:45,936 --> 00:01:47,062 No idea. 28 00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,741 I have rescheduled this so many times, 29 00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:50,524 I can't remember who they are. 30 00:01:50,607 --> 00:01:54,111 - Lois. - Hey, you guys. Ha. 31 00:01:54,194 --> 00:01:56,196 You know, I just want to get this out of the way. 32 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,824 I am completely blanking on how we met. 33 00:01:58,907 --> 00:02:00,034 Oh! Thank God. 34 00:02:00,117 --> 00:02:01,201 Me, too! 35 00:02:01,285 --> 00:02:02,494 But it doesn't matter. 36 00:02:02,578 --> 00:02:03,662 We're here now. 37 00:02:03,746 --> 00:02:07,291 You weren't the one who got in a fistfight in my yoga class, were you? 38 00:02:07,374 --> 00:02:10,002 No, it wasn't me. 39 00:02:10,085 --> 00:02:12,421 I'm sure whoever it was had her reasons. 40 00:02:12,504 --> 00:02:14,882 Like maybe that bitch shouldn't have run her bitch mouth. 41 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,175 I don't know. I wasn't there. 42 00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:17,635 Hey, Peter, I'm Clay. 43 00:02:17,718 --> 00:02:20,179 Listen, I don't want to sound like a fanboy, 44 00:02:20,262 --> 00:02:22,431 but did I hear you work at Pawtucket Pat? 45 00:02:22,514 --> 00:02:23,515 Yeah. Why? 46 00:02:23,599 --> 00:02:25,392 That's maybe, like, the coolest job 47 00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:27,186 I've ever heard of anyone having. 48 00:02:27,269 --> 00:02:29,897 - It... It is? - Dude! Yes! 49 00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,024 You gotta tell me what it's like to work there. 50 00:02:32,107 --> 00:02:35,402 Lois. This guy is legit like a rock star to me. 51 00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:38,238 See, Lois, I told you I ain't just some bum. 52 00:02:38,322 --> 00:02:40,532 You don't like football by any chance, do you, Peter? 53 00:02:40,616 --> 00:02:43,160 Lois, I'm gonna be over here with Clay. 54 00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:44,953 Well, look who came around. 55 00:02:45,037 --> 00:02:46,872 Maybe we should all hang out more often. 56 00:02:46,955 --> 00:02:49,750 I'm in. We're always in the market for some cool friends. 57 00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:52,878 Oh, us, too. Remember those weirdos we hung out with last week? 58 00:02:54,463 --> 00:02:57,299 You know, honey, you could at least make a guess. 59 00:02:57,383 --> 00:03:00,969 I don't make a guess until you give me credit card info. 60 00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:04,223 Maybe let's not talk about the arrangement in front of friends, okay? 61 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,107 - What do we want? - No hablo ingles. 62 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,734 - When do we want it? - No hablo ingles. 63 00:03:16,944 --> 00:03:19,697 Hi, there. This is gonna sound like I'm just here for the food, 64 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:22,241 but the Instagram post said there'd be food. 65 00:03:22,324 --> 00:03:24,576 Oh, I'm sorry. We just ran out. 66 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,787 That's fine. I'm Brian, dog guy. 67 00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:29,957 Hello, Brian, the dog guy. I'm Carmen. 68 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,208 Nice to meet you. 69 00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:33,377 You know, immigrants are kind of like dogs to me. 70 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,421 - Excuse me. - Oh, no, no, I wasn't... 71 00:03:35,504 --> 00:03:38,215 I mean, we're separated from our families, put in cages, 72 00:03:38,298 --> 00:03:41,009 and all you can do is hope there's a group of nice people somewhere 73 00:03:41,093 --> 00:03:44,263 - willing to share their home with you. - I see what you mean. 74 00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:46,223 - So where are you from? - I'm from Cuba. 75 00:03:46,306 --> 00:03:49,351 Oh, nice. You guys got elephants and stuff, right? 76 00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:51,311 I think you're thinking of Africa. 77 00:03:51,395 --> 00:03:53,814 No, I think, uh... Pretty sure. 78 00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:54,940 Yeah, whatever. 79 00:03:55,023 --> 00:03:58,652 Listen, I'm volunteering today, so I have to go help out. 80 00:03:58,735 --> 00:04:00,237 Look, I don't normally do this. 81 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,781 But is there any chance we could go out sometime? 82 00:04:02,865 --> 00:04:04,158 I'm so sorry. 83 00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:07,786 You seem great, but I just agreed to go out with that guy. 84 00:04:11,362 --> 00:04:13,072 Actually, never mind. I'm free. 85 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:15,961 If you want, I'm going to the Havana Club tonight at six. 86 00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:18,380 - You should come. - Okay, I'll be there. 87 00:04:18,464 --> 00:04:19,965 Thanks. 88 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,081 America at work. 89 00:04:22,092 --> 00:04:24,219 Immigrants, liberals, conservatives, 90 00:04:24,303 --> 00:04:27,681 and the one guy with absolutely no idea what's going on here today. 91 00:04:27,765 --> 00:04:30,309 What's going on here? Some kind of festival? 92 00:04:32,603 --> 00:04:34,605 I stay out of politics. 93 00:04:46,909 --> 00:04:47,993 Hey, there you are. 94 00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:51,538 - Oh, you made it! - Allowed to smoke in here, huh? 95 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:53,373 Gosh, you really look incredible. 96 00:04:53,457 --> 00:04:54,708 Oh, thank you. 97 00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:57,377 I got here early so we could be in the horn section. 98 00:04:57,461 --> 00:04:59,588 S-Sorry, you said "in the horn section"? 99 00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:02,549 Is it too loud for you? 100 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,469 I know dogs have very sensitive hearing. 101 00:05:05,552 --> 00:05:07,971 No, no, this is... this is great. 102 00:05:08,055 --> 00:05:09,723 Do you like for horns to be louder? 103 00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:11,600 No, no, no. That's, that's okay. 104 00:05:11,683 --> 00:05:13,268 You like for horns to be louder. 105 00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:21,276 They played this at my mother's funeral. 106 00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:25,874 Man, you really missed out on the Boar's Head event, Peter. 107 00:05:26,031 --> 00:05:27,658 Joe even got some chick's number. 108 00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:31,995 Hospice nurse. I, uh, I gotta have a talk with you guys at some point. 109 00:05:32,079 --> 00:05:33,247 Why'd you bail, Peter? 110 00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,624 Lois had a dinner scheduled with another couple. 111 00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:38,043 That's so lame. I hate that stuff. 112 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:40,462 You know what? I just said that to sound cool. 113 00:05:40,546 --> 00:05:42,631 I enjoy meeting new people. 114 00:05:42,714 --> 00:05:45,300 I usually hate it, too. But these guys were fun. 115 00:05:45,384 --> 00:05:47,386 Clay and Crystal something. 116 00:05:47,469 --> 00:05:48,887 - Oh, boy. - What? 117 00:05:48,971 --> 00:05:51,348 - Crystal and Clay Duffy? - Yeah. So what? 118 00:05:51,504 --> 00:05:55,091 Peter, those guys... How do I say this? 119 00:05:55,102 --> 00:05:58,730 engage in inter-relationship coitus on the reg. 120 00:05:59,016 --> 00:06:00,513 - Huh? - They're swingers, 121 00:06:00,524 --> 00:06:01,650 like the biggest in town. 122 00:06:01,733 --> 00:06:03,485 - They try with everyone. - Big time! 123 00:06:03,569 --> 00:06:05,362 They tried that with me and Bon. 124 00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:07,114 I stayed out in the car. 125 00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:10,117 Bon went in for a few hours to talk to them about it. 126 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,077 That never happened again, 127 00:06:12,536 --> 00:06:15,330 uh... except for a couple weeks later... 128 00:06:16,039 --> 00:06:18,709 One other time, I guess. 129 00:06:22,421 --> 00:06:23,714 Hey, how was the date? 130 00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:26,008 The date was awesome, but that Cuban place 131 00:06:26,091 --> 00:06:28,510 was so loud and there was cigar smoke everywhere. 132 00:06:28,594 --> 00:06:31,388 I feel like I'm getting a migraine or something. I just... 133 00:06:32,848 --> 00:06:33,974 Brian! 134 00:06:34,683 --> 00:06:36,310 Brian! Oh, thank God. 135 00:06:36,393 --> 00:06:38,645 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm good man. 136 00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:40,981 Just, uh... Just give it a little space, okay? 137 00:06:41,064 --> 00:06:42,065 - What? - What? 138 00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:43,775 You got diaper cream in your ears? 139 00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:45,402 I said back up, baby. 140 00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:47,279 Why are you talking like Scarface? 141 00:06:47,362 --> 00:06:50,157 I... I don't know, man. I just opened my mouth, 142 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,284 and this is the voice that comes out, you know? 143 00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:55,329 And when I open my mouth, blood comes out. 144 00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:58,540 Okay. Again, Chris, that's not funny. 145 00:06:58,624 --> 00:07:00,125 What Brian's doing is funny. 146 00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:03,545 When we pass on an idea, you really need to move on. 147 00:07:10,218 --> 00:07:12,012 I'm starting to get a little hungry. 148 00:07:12,095 --> 00:07:14,931 Do you think you could get, like, an English muffin or something? 149 00:07:15,015 --> 00:07:17,726 I really like the nooks and crannies, man. 150 00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:19,144 So, what do you think, doc? 151 00:07:19,227 --> 00:07:21,146 How come I wake up sounding like this? 152 00:07:21,229 --> 00:07:23,732 Well, it's unusual, but this is a very real thing. 153 00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:26,360 Google it. It's called Foreign Accent Syndrome. 154 00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:29,488 It's usually brought on by some kind of trauma to the brain. 155 00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:31,865 I'm guessing that migraine scrambled you all up. 156 00:07:31,948 --> 00:07:34,826 So this is like an actual disorder? 157 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,370 Yeah, I saw it on 60 Minutes. 158 00:07:36,453 --> 00:07:39,414 They had on this English lady that woke up sounding Chinese. 159 00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:42,000 But everyone gets all pissed if I do it. 160 00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:43,710 You know, I wonder if you sound that way 161 00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:46,296 because you were around all those Cuban people at the club. 162 00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:49,466 Oye, Stewie! Carmen says she's gonna come by the hospital. 163 00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:51,134 She can't hear me sound like this. 164 00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:53,303 She's gonna think I'm making fun of her. 165 00:07:53,387 --> 00:07:55,097 All right, Just relax. Maybe we can... 166 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,057 Brian, how are you doing? 167 00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,517 I came as soon as I heard. 168 00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:01,728 Sorry. He's not talking yet. 169 00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,147 Aww! My poor little guy. 170 00:08:04,231 --> 00:08:05,774 You don't need to say a word. 171 00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,776 You just relax. 172 00:08:07,859 --> 00:08:09,361 - Doctor. - What? 173 00:08:09,444 --> 00:08:11,304 Do you think it's worth checking him for, like, 174 00:08:11,314 --> 00:08:13,365 a stroke or brain cancer? 175 00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:16,076 Come on, man. It's 4:45. 176 00:08:19,496 --> 00:08:22,582 So you'll never guess what the guys had to say about Clay and Crystal. 177 00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:24,751 Apparently, they're like major swingers. 178 00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:28,422 What? No, that's ridiculous. 179 00:08:28,505 --> 00:08:31,091 Seriously, all three of them said they tried stuff with them. 180 00:08:31,174 --> 00:08:32,384 Well, now this is weird. 181 00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:34,720 We're seeing them again tomorrow night. 182 00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,763 I mean, do we cancel? 183 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:38,223 I don't think so. 184 00:08:38,306 --> 00:08:39,725 We had fun with them. 185 00:08:39,808 --> 00:08:42,602 Who cares what they do in their private lives? 186 00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:45,011 But what do we do if they try something with us? 187 00:08:45,022 --> 00:08:47,232 Well, obviously, we say no. 188 00:08:47,315 --> 00:08:48,608 Obviously, that's not us. 189 00:08:48,692 --> 00:08:50,485 No, we'd never do anything like that. 190 00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:52,279 We don't have to. What we have is great. 191 00:08:52,362 --> 00:08:53,780 The best. 192 00:08:53,864 --> 00:08:55,949 I mean, would it be nice to be asked? 193 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:57,117 - Sure. - Sure. Right. 194 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,953 It'd be nice to know we're at least in the pool of consideration. 195 00:09:00,037 --> 00:09:01,455 It'd be great to be in the pool. 196 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,115 I think I'm going to get a facial tomorrow. 197 00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:08,628 Not because of this, but because I need one. 198 00:09:08,784 --> 00:09:10,536 Totally. And I gotta buy deodorant. 199 00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:12,758 Not because of this, but because mine's all the way 200 00:09:12,841 --> 00:09:15,135 down to the plastic. Thing's like a cheese grater. 201 00:09:18,221 --> 00:09:20,390 You've got a lot of nice things in this room. 202 00:09:20,474 --> 00:09:21,641 Purple octopus. 203 00:09:21,725 --> 00:09:24,770 I ain't never had no purple octopus. Time machine. 204 00:09:24,853 --> 00:09:27,230 Hey, what, you gonna impact the past or something, man? 205 00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:29,483 Disrupt the space-time continuum? 206 00:09:29,566 --> 00:09:31,651 All right, stop just riffing on things you see. 207 00:09:31,735 --> 00:09:33,653 Now, if you're going to continue seeing Carmen, 208 00:09:33,737 --> 00:09:35,781 we've got to try and get your speaking voice back. 209 00:09:35,864 --> 00:09:37,616 Try to repeat exactly what I say. 210 00:09:37,772 --> 00:09:40,024 "It's really nice to see you again, Carmen." 211 00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:41,620 It's nice to be here with you, baby. 212 00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:44,664 You're gonna get humped like you wouldn't believe tonight. 213 00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:46,124 Okay, not quite there. 214 00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:48,502 "So, Carmen, do you have any pets?" 215 00:09:48,585 --> 00:09:51,546 I seen a mouse this one time. Thing was crazy, bro. 216 00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:54,758 Running all around with a little tail moving side to side. 217 00:09:54,841 --> 00:09:56,718 I thought that thing was gonna bite me, man. 218 00:09:56,802 --> 00:09:59,096 Can you guys keep it down in here? 219 00:09:59,179 --> 00:10:02,057 - Sorry. We were just trying to... - I don't need to know why. 220 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,642 I just need you to shut up. 221 00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:05,769 Hey, that's your flesh and blood, man. 222 00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,355 - You don't talk to him like that. - I'm sorry. 223 00:10:08,438 --> 00:10:11,775 Next time I hear you talk that way, I'm gonna kick you so hard, 224 00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:14,111 your big ass gonna land in Saskatchewan. 225 00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:18,865 Mom! Brian said I have a big ass in a Scarface voice. 226 00:10:21,993 --> 00:10:25,747 Well, that was yet another fantastic evening with you two. 227 00:10:25,831 --> 00:10:28,500 Totally. Always love a little time with the Griffs. 228 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,585 So, um, what, uh... 229 00:10:30,669 --> 00:10:32,963 What now? Do we keep her going? 230 00:10:33,046 --> 00:10:36,466 Yeah. What's the, uh... What's the old game plan-a-rino? 231 00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:40,387 Oh! You know, I think I'm done for the night. 232 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:43,473 Oh, come on! It's only nine o'clock. 233 00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:47,269 I mean, I'm up for a little fun. Oh! 234 00:10:47,352 --> 00:10:49,813 Next time. I'm a little zonked, too. 235 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:51,481 Great to see you again, Peter. 236 00:10:51,565 --> 00:10:53,441 Oh, no, I think we've leveled up to hugs. 237 00:10:53,525 --> 00:10:54,609 Get in here, you. 238 00:10:54,693 --> 00:10:56,695 Okay. 239 00:10:56,778 --> 00:10:58,530 We'll see you guys again soon. 240 00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:03,368 Swingers, my ass. 241 00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:05,328 Maybe they're just not into us. 242 00:11:05,412 --> 00:11:08,373 Uh, no. If anything, it's us that's not into them. 243 00:11:08,456 --> 00:11:11,918 Yeah, they'd be lucky to get us, but we're not that type of people. 244 00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,003 Ew! No! 245 00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:15,213 Ew, like what even is that life? 246 00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:16,423 Sad is what it is. 247 00:11:16,506 --> 00:11:18,216 Doing it in weird places. 248 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,719 Just having sex with every couple they meet. 249 00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:23,555 Well, every couple except us. 250 00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:24,848 Except us. 251 00:11:26,057 --> 00:11:27,309 Why not us? 252 00:11:28,982 --> 00:11:31,151 - Where are you going? - They left their cornbread. 253 00:11:31,354 --> 00:11:33,148 Hopefully they didn't clear the table yet. 254 00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:34,649 Hold that door, please. 255 00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:39,059 Just try not to talk too much. 256 00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:41,489 You're gonna get us beat up with that accent you're doing. 257 00:11:41,573 --> 00:11:42,866 It's so weird, man. 258 00:11:42,949 --> 00:11:45,619 In my mind, it sounds like I'm just talking regular 259 00:11:45,702 --> 00:11:49,164 and outside, I end up sounding like some kind of big banana head. 260 00:11:49,247 --> 00:11:52,667 - Hot chocolate for Brain. - You say "Brain?" 261 00:11:52,751 --> 00:11:55,212 Do you know anyone named "Brain?" 262 00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:59,549 It's Brian! As in Dennehy, Cranston and Cox. 263 00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:00,967 I'm sorry, sir. 264 00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:04,596 That guy's got matcha powder in his ears or something. 265 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,598 A lot of stuff in people's ears today. 266 00:12:08,892 --> 00:12:10,810 Oh, crap, man. It's Carmen. 267 00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:12,437 I keep avoiding her calls. 268 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,940 I don't want her to think I'm mocking her, you know. 269 00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:16,299 Brian, you have to answer. 270 00:12:16,309 --> 00:12:18,193 She's going to think you're not into her anymore. 271 00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:20,237 Hello? Brian's phone. 272 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,155 This is Miss Penny Apple, Brian's assistant. 273 00:12:22,239 --> 00:12:23,240 We dated for a little while, 274 00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:25,992 but we disclosed it to HR, so it was all aboveboard. 275 00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:29,246 Anyway, I ended it after he got physical. 276 00:12:29,955 --> 00:12:31,206 Oh, that sounds lovely. 277 00:12:31,289 --> 00:12:32,916 He'll be there. Bye, dear. 278 00:12:33,392 --> 00:12:35,809 - Well? - Her cousin's getting married Saturday, 279 00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,660 and she wants to bring you as her date. 280 00:12:37,671 --> 00:12:40,048 What? Her whole family is going to think 281 00:12:40,131 --> 00:12:41,758 I'm making fun of their accents. 282 00:12:41,841 --> 00:12:43,385 There's no way I can go. 283 00:12:43,468 --> 00:12:45,345 She said Jenna Ortega is going to be there. 284 00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,473 Buenas noches! 285 00:12:48,556 --> 00:12:50,100 We'll be back with more... 286 00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:53,645 after this. 287 00:12:58,817 --> 00:12:59,818 So what you think? 288 00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:02,123 How am I gonna go to this wedding sounding like this? 289 00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:03,773 Yeah, we sure don't want a repeat 290 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,657 of what you did to Cleveland yesterday. 291 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,088 Hey, mailman! 292 00:13:11,496 --> 00:13:15,417 No more putting the paper in the little slot in my house, eh? 293 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:19,129 The sound wakes me up from my doggy naps. 294 00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:27,887 No, no, no, no, no, no! 295 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:31,725 I'm not even the courier for your postal route. 296 00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:33,184 That's Laverne! 297 00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,857 Those people are absolute weirdos. 298 00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,608 They call themselves swingers. 299 00:13:40,692 --> 00:13:43,528 Two whole dinners and not even an elbow brush on the boob. 300 00:13:43,611 --> 00:13:44,654 Not that we would even 301 00:13:44,738 --> 00:13:46,448 - do anything anyway. - Of course not. 302 00:13:46,531 --> 00:13:49,909 I mean, not that any of this matters because we're normal people. 303 00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:52,162 That being said, it would be nice to be asked. 304 00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:54,622 It would be nice to be freaking asked. 305 00:13:54,706 --> 00:13:56,666 Maybe they're waiting for a third night with us. 306 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,710 - What do you mean? - Well, in the dating world, 307 00:13:58,793 --> 00:14:01,337 three dates usually mean sex is on the table. 308 00:14:01,421 --> 00:14:03,173 Oh, I see. 309 00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:06,009 So, this is all just part of the dance, huh? 310 00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:07,218 They're trying to see 311 00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:09,888 - if we're actually into them. - Which we're not. 312 00:14:09,971 --> 00:14:11,473 - No. - It's got to be that. 313 00:14:11,556 --> 00:14:12,849 All right, I'm texting them. 314 00:14:12,932 --> 00:14:15,185 Now? Won't that look desperate? 315 00:14:15,268 --> 00:14:17,979 Desperate? They're the ones trying to swing with us. 316 00:14:18,063 --> 00:14:19,481 To which we'll promptly say no. 317 00:14:19,564 --> 00:14:21,399 Moment it happens, without hesitation, 318 00:14:21,483 --> 00:14:23,109 - we shut it down. - Shut it down. 319 00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:24,569 We're in. 320 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,458 - Dinner at their house tomorrow night. - Oh, at their house? 321 00:14:27,614 --> 00:14:30,116 Could they be any more obvious about it? 322 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,327 Yeah. Be a little artful about it, guys. 323 00:14:33,912 --> 00:14:37,290 So, first time I'm seeing that. 324 00:14:37,373 --> 00:14:38,833 I can't say I like it. 325 00:14:42,754 --> 00:14:44,839 I can't believe you got me in this mess, man. 326 00:14:44,923 --> 00:14:46,841 I got, like, butterflies in my stomach. 327 00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:49,469 I can feel 'em all flapping around, you know? 328 00:14:49,552 --> 00:14:50,887 You have nothing to worry about. 329 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,972 I've developed an AI voice modulator 330 00:14:53,056 --> 00:14:55,642 to match your natural speaking voice. Here, put this on. 331 00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:58,186 You think this thing's gonna work, man? 332 00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:00,271 I don't want to upset Carmen. 333 00:15:00,355 --> 00:15:01,523 Oh, hey, wow! It's me again. 334 00:15:01,606 --> 00:15:03,024 Testing. One, two, three. 335 00:15:03,108 --> 00:15:05,652 I will break your freaking head open, man. 336 00:15:05,735 --> 00:15:07,570 Testing, 1, 2, 3. 337 00:15:07,654 --> 00:15:09,405 Great. It works. And I'll be in your ear 338 00:15:09,489 --> 00:15:11,241 the whole time in case anything goes wrong. 339 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:12,784 So don't worry. 340 00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,369 It is nice to see you again, Carmen. 341 00:15:14,452 --> 00:15:15,954 I am enjoying your company tonight. 342 00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:17,497 Olive Garden Summer Nights are back. 343 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,707 Hey, wait! What the hell was that? 344 00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:21,960 Oh, yeah, the software has ads sometimes. 345 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:23,670 Ads? What do you mean, ads? 346 00:15:23,753 --> 00:15:27,006 They want 13 bucks a month now for premium. Deal with it. 347 00:15:30,093 --> 00:15:32,595 Brian. There you are. 348 00:15:32,606 --> 00:15:34,441 I'd like you to meet my mother and father. 349 00:15:34,597 --> 00:15:36,724 Play it cool. You got this? 350 00:15:36,808 --> 00:15:38,518 It's nice to meet you, Brian. 351 00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:40,186 Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Perez. 352 00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,147 What a beautiful night for a wedding. 353 00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,732 Carmen tells me you are a writer. 354 00:15:44,816 --> 00:15:48,236 I enjoy putting pen to paper and allowing my heart to do the rest. 355 00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:51,322 If you or someone you love has been injured in a work accident, 356 00:15:51,406 --> 00:15:54,159 it's time to call Feinstein and Forlizzi, PC. 357 00:15:54,242 --> 00:15:58,079 Thank you, Brian. I will keep this, uh, Feinstein in mind. 358 00:15:58,163 --> 00:16:00,832 Don't forget Forlizzi. 359 00:16:00,915 --> 00:16:02,709 See? I told you it would work. 360 00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:04,002 Thanks. I appreciate it. 361 00:16:04,711 --> 00:16:06,588 Ugh! The Postmates guy forgot the ketchup. 362 00:16:06,671 --> 00:16:08,506 Hey, buddy, I think you forgot the ketchup. 363 00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,092 Oh, I'm sorry, man. I gotta go pick up my kid from camp. 364 00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:13,178 Tell him he's gonna be there for a bit. 365 00:16:13,261 --> 00:16:15,221 It's your job. I don't know what to tell you. 366 00:16:20,935 --> 00:16:24,355 Did you take a Harry Potter patch off that blazer before you put it on? 367 00:16:24,439 --> 00:16:27,400 Yeah. Only thing is, they're not gonna know I'm a Ravenclaw. 368 00:16:27,483 --> 00:16:28,902 That should be fine. Right? 369 00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:30,445 Hey, good to see you. 370 00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:32,739 We felt bad about how things ended the other night, 371 00:16:32,822 --> 00:16:34,782 so thought we could have a do over. 372 00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:36,451 I'm a Ravenclaw, by the way. 373 00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:38,286 You guys look nice. 374 00:16:38,369 --> 00:16:40,121 You didn't have to get all dressed up. 375 00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:41,915 This is a sweat suit from Target. 376 00:16:41,998 --> 00:16:44,626 A very sexy sweat suit, I might add. 377 00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:46,252 Wow, Great house. 378 00:16:46,336 --> 00:16:47,962 Are these the original hardwoods? 379 00:16:48,046 --> 00:16:49,964 I'm a huge hardwood guy, 380 00:16:50,048 --> 00:16:51,382 you know what I mean, Crystal? 381 00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:55,053 Oh, this is a big comfy couch. 382 00:16:55,136 --> 00:16:57,722 What do you say we I don't know, hang out, 383 00:16:57,805 --> 00:17:00,934 put on some Natalie Imbrog... Imbrug... 384 00:17:01,017 --> 00:17:02,936 The chick who sings "Torn." 385 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:06,105 Uh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. 386 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,775 Warm tonight, isn't it? 387 00:17:08,858 --> 00:17:11,444 Guys, what's going on here? You're acting really weird. 388 00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:14,072 What? Aren't you guys swingers? 389 00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:17,242 We like to have fun, yeah, but we don't do it with everyone. 390 00:17:17,325 --> 00:17:19,869 Then, then what? What's wrong with us? 391 00:17:19,953 --> 00:17:21,246 Don't take it so personally. 392 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:23,957 Every pair of swingers has one flaccid friendship. 393 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,168 Yeah, you know, just kind of a meat and potatoes couple 394 00:17:27,252 --> 00:17:28,836 you go bowling with once in a while. 395 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,714 We just like hanging out with you guys as friends. 396 00:17:31,798 --> 00:17:33,716 I don't even know what you're talking about, 397 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,553 but we don't want to be anything more than friends with you guys. 398 00:17:36,636 --> 00:17:38,555 Maybe it's best we just call it a night. 399 00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:41,266 Please. I'll pay for it. How much to make it happen right now? 400 00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:43,351 - Touch it. - Oh, would you stop it already? 401 00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:46,563 They probably don't want us because you come off so desperate. 402 00:17:46,646 --> 00:17:49,357 Me? You're practically draping yourself all over 'em. 403 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,776 Because I'm the candy here, Peter. 404 00:17:51,859 --> 00:17:54,445 If there's any chance of this happening, it's because of me. 405 00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:57,198 You're nothing. You hear me? Nothing. 406 00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:09,694 Well, we didn't swing, 407 00:18:09,704 --> 00:18:12,547 but we did have violent sex in front of another couple. 408 00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,716 There'll be a little asterisk in the record books, 409 00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:16,634 but it still kind of counts. 410 00:18:16,718 --> 00:18:19,220 Their dog was barking at us the whole time. 411 00:18:24,851 --> 00:18:26,185 Stewie, What are you doing here? 412 00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:28,021 Oh, just wanted to check out the scene. 413 00:18:28,104 --> 00:18:29,480 Things seem to be going so well. 414 00:18:29,564 --> 00:18:32,150 - I thought I'd ramp it up a notch. - What do you mean? 415 00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,102 Everyone. Brian would like to say 416 00:18:36,112 --> 00:18:37,989 a few words to the bride and the groom. 417 00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:39,240 I'm sorry. What? 418 00:18:43,786 --> 00:18:47,373 Um, hello. First of all, I'd like to thank you for having me here. 419 00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:50,084 Back To School Season is almost here at Macy's. 420 00:18:51,502 --> 00:18:55,673 What I mean to say is you can save 15% on car insurance at Home Depot. 421 00:18:55,757 --> 00:18:58,384 - There's no job too big. - Little problem, Brian. 422 00:18:58,468 --> 00:19:01,220 I left the van open and there are squirrels everywhere. 423 00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:03,973 They're climbing all over the equipment and they got my nuggets, 424 00:19:04,057 --> 00:19:05,683 and now they're gnawing on the wires. 425 00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:07,477 Wait, Stewie. 426 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,229 Does that mean this thing don't work no more? 427 00:19:10,313 --> 00:19:11,689 Okay, enough of this, man. 428 00:19:11,773 --> 00:19:13,900 Yeah, I got a few things I'd like to say. 429 00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:16,486 How's everybody doing tonight, eh? 430 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:22,397 This guy gonna hump that chick real good tonight, man. 431 00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:24,369 I'll tell you that. 432 00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:26,371 Funny thing about immigrants, man. 433 00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:28,414 You're all like a bunch of dogs to me. 434 00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:33,711 Cheers to all the immigrant dogs here tonight. 435 00:19:33,795 --> 00:19:35,254 Oh, I almost forgot. 436 00:19:35,338 --> 00:19:38,591 Say hello to my little friend. 437 00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,301 Hey, I'm Stewie. 438 00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:42,428 What do you think you are doing? 439 00:19:42,512 --> 00:19:46,599 Coming here and doing some disgusting impersonation of my family? 440 00:19:46,683 --> 00:19:48,393 Hey, man, you don't understand. 441 00:19:48,476 --> 00:19:50,520 No, you don't understand. 442 00:19:50,603 --> 00:19:52,021 What you think, big man? 443 00:19:52,105 --> 00:19:54,232 Do you think you got a bigger shirt collar than me? 444 00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:57,735 Do you think your car's interior has a better animal print than mine? 445 00:19:57,819 --> 00:19:59,445 Do you think your crocodile boots 446 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:02,448 have more lines between the crocodile parts than mine? 447 00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:05,326 Do you think you've got more pineapples on your shirt than me? 448 00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,787 Let's count them. Let's have a little contest and see 449 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:10,123 who the most pineapple-y guy is tonight. 450 00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:12,333 Everyone throw your dinner rolls at him. 451 00:20:14,669 --> 00:20:16,212 You think you can take me? 452 00:20:16,295 --> 00:20:18,798 You're gonna need an army to take me. 453 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:22,009 Huh? I'm still standing, eh! 454 00:20:23,428 --> 00:20:24,887 I take your rolls! 455 00:20:32,134 --> 00:20:34,553 One of you boys gonna teach me how to samba, 456 00:20:34,564 --> 00:20:37,024 or do I need to figure out a new Saturday? 457 00:20:43,114 --> 00:20:44,824 Well, it's a good thing that crack on the head 458 00:20:44,907 --> 00:20:46,409 brought your voice back to normal. 459 00:20:46,492 --> 00:20:48,077 Yeah, but I'm bummed 460 00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:50,538 Carmen's never gonna speak to me again. I really liked her. 461 00:20:50,621 --> 00:20:52,081 Eh! I saw you dance at the wedding. 462 00:20:52,165 --> 00:20:53,958 You weren't gonna make it in a Latin family. 463 00:20:54,041 --> 00:20:55,418 What's wrong with the way I dance? 464 00:20:55,501 --> 00:20:57,128 You want to see a video of it? 465 00:20:57,211 --> 00:20:59,422 - Probably not, right? - I wouldn't. 466 00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:05,106 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -